change of season
by multipass
Summary: AU JoyceFaith romance Everyones human COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Joss owns All

Feedback: yes

Pairing: Joyce/Faith

A/N This is A/U folks. meaning. Dawn is alive, Everyones Human, it takes place pre- sunnydale, and joyce gets her freak on with a young hot chick. though it's not fuffy hope you give it a chance anyway

1

"TAXI!"

Joyce waves desperately for a cab, hoping against hope one will stop. It's particularly hard when carrying two suitcases and a carry-on on your shoulder.

_It's going to be one of those days, I just know it, _Joyce thinks as cab's whiz by, not seeming to pay attention to her. _Why should today be any different from yesterday, or the day before, or before that? Hell, it's been one of those years!_

Joyce's life has not been going well, lately. She's been going through a particularly nasty divorce with her husband, Hank. _Hank the Horrible_, as she's coming to think of him lately, has been fighting her on everything. Custody, alimony and child support, division of assets - it's as if Joyce had been cheating on him, rather than vice versa. _At least that's the way he's acting. Never mind he's been neglecting me and the kids for ... what's her face? Sheila? Selena? Oh, who gives a damn. It's just the latest little tart in his collection, and now that I'm calling him on it, he's acting like a kid. He wants it all, but for the last 10 years? Not really been there._

She went on this art buying trip to get away from Hank the Horrible and his petty games. She'd wanted to bring her two daughters, Dawn and Buffy, along; she thought the we'll get away aspect, the traveling and seeing different places might have been fun. But they had school, and that's just what she'd need: Hank having an excuse to yank them away from her. So, she left them with her Aunt, and came alone.

_Maybe just as well. Not like this trip has been a pleasure cruise. Anything that could go wrong, went wrong. Delays, airport hassles, problems with the dealers, ... arrgh, I swear_ _that someone up there hates me. Now, at last, I get a chance to just relax for a little bit, see some of Boston? And the plane is late leaving Chicago because of weather. Then, I get here, and I have to wait two hours while the idiots that unload the plane try to find my bags. Oh, and they were already off and in the system! Why do they just keep hiring morons at the baggage claim counters? Now I can't even get a cab to my hotel. God, what ELSE can you do to me?_

Joyce should be careful with those little challenges.

" TAXI!" She yells out again, dropping her bags so she can wave her arms, hoping to attract something. Finally, to her immense relief, a cab pulls over to the corner.

The driver jumps out of the cab, and pops the trunk, helping Joyce get her bags stowed away. He opens the door for her, then hops back in the cab.

" Welcome to Boston, ma'am." the driver calls from the front seat. " This is your first time here, right?"

" Yes, how did you know that?" Joyce asks, puzzled.

" Anyone that's been here once knows you can't grab a cab from the front entrance. You gotta go down to the stand located in the turnaround."

" Oh, " Joyce says, feeling 100 foolish. " You stopped, though."

" Yeah, well, I saw ya there, and figgered you wouldn't be getting a cab soon if ya didn't move... so I pulled up. Most times though, nobody will. You can get a ticket real fast there."

" Well, thank you and thank god for you. You're the first thing that's gone right today, " Joyce sighs, settling back in the seat.

" So, where can I take you today, ma'am?"

" Wyndham Hotel, downtown please," Joyce says. " And I'm Joyce, by the way. Joyce Summers."

The cab driver pulls out, heading towards Boston proper.

" Sam Magee, Ma'am. Pleasure to meetcha. So, been a rough trip?" He asks politely

" You wouldn't believe, " Joyce complains. " My flight got delayed 4 hours in Chicago, because of weather, and it's been pure hell getting through the airport. This whole buying trip has been... horrible. At least, now I can relax a little. Taking a little respite in Boston before I have to head back home."

" Well, sorry to hear things haven't been so smooth, but you'll love Boston, ma'am. Lots to see and do here," Sam says agreeably. " So, where you hail from?"

" California. I'm a art dealer there, and I'm just finishing up my purchases for my gallery."

" So it's business, then?" Sam asks.

" Sort of. I mean, if I find something to purchase here, I will, but mostly I'm here to relax a little. Get away from things, wind back down."

" Well, I tell ya, if I were wanting to relax, I'd be heading home. I'm never quite relaxed when I'm away."

" I'm guessing you don't have children, then, " Joyce laughs. " Relaxing and two teenage daughters, just won't be happening."

Sam laughs. " Actually, I got four. Two boys, two girls. But yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes you wish _you_ could run away from home!"

" So, Sam, is the Wyndham far?" Joyce sighs, weary from her travels.

" No ma'am. I'll have ya there in a jiffy." Sam negotiates traffic like he'd been doing it all his life. Which he has." Planning on doing a little sight seeing?"

" Later, but not right now. Right now, the only thing I want to see is the inside of my room, and the only thing I want to do is put my feet up !"

" Well, we'll have you there in two shakes," Sam vows, speeding up a little.

The cab pulls up in front of the Wyndham, and Sam is out of the car, popping the trunk and taking out the luggage. He places it on the curb for her, and Joyce pulls out her purse, paying the fare and giving him a generous tip. Sam smiles. " Thank you, Mrs. Summers." He pulls out a card, handing it to her. " You need to get anywhere in old Beantown here, you call and ask for Sam, hear?"

He starts to pick up the cases, but Joyce stops him. " I got it from here, Sam, thanks."

Sam nods, gives her a polite little salute, and hops in his cab, speeding away.

Joyce bends to pick up the cases, but a bellman at the hotel rushes up to assist her.

" Welcome to the Wyndham, ma'am. Let me help you with those." He grabs the two cases, leaving the carry-on for Joyce. Joyce straightens up, a little surprised. _Ok, what happened? All of a sudden, everyone wants to help. Maybe my luck is starting to change. Yeah, sure, Joyce. Sure._

Joyce enters the hotel, gets registered and finally gets into her room. Plopping down on the bed, she kicks off her well broken-in heels, and rubs her feet. Sighing, she lays back on the bed, and stares at the ceiling, for the moment just enjoying the quiet.

Her mind drifts back to California, and her kids. _I really wish they could've come with. I miss them. Wonder if they miss me? I dunno, teenage daughters, no mom to wreck their lives, living with a doting Great Aunt. Maybe I should call them? Naw … why ruin their fun? Anyway, with my luck Hank the Horrible will be there, and that would ruin any relaxation I'll get on my stopover in Boston. Well, that's it. No more work, or anything til I hit New York. For now, Joyce is on vacation… sort of. _

Joyce settles back for a small nap. She wants to rest up before she conquers Boston.

2

" Heya, Leon, goin' to lunch, " Faith heads towards the elevators.

" Whoa up, Faith, " Leon, the Docent supervisor, stops her." I need you to take Lindsey's group."

" Hey, gimme a break here. Been leading people around all morning. This poor girl's bushed, you know? What's the deal with Lindsey, anyway?"

" She called in, family emergency." Leon says, shrugging

_Yeah, I bet. As in, she got blotto with her boyo last night, and now is too woozy to make it into work._

" I had Maggie on it, but she's gotta go, and Bobbi will take over this afternoon. But I got one tour that's not covered. So, I need you to take it."

" C'mon, Leon. I'm dying here. I'm so hungry, I could eat the exhibits." Faith pleads with him.

" Faith, I really need you to do this. I mean, really, " Leon's tone gets a little cold. " Get me?"

_Oh, I'm getting ya. You're too fucking lazy to lead the group yourself, so you're sticking me with it._

" Leon, I'm not so good on the Impressionists, you know. That's Lindsey's tour. I don't know them so well…" Faith still tries to wiggle out of it.

Leon snorts. " Gimme a break, ok, Faith? Like any of you guys know the first thing about art, period. You just learn the script, and show the tourists the pretty pictures. I got Lindsey's script here, so just go over it, get familiar and get out there. Keep to the tour, and you'll be fine." He hands the script to Faith. " You got 15 minutes to get ready. So…" he takes off before Faith can say anything else.

Faith sighs, and sits down, going over the script.

_God, how'd I get into this crap, anyway?_

Faith has been working at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Wing of the MFA for the last 2 years, ever since graduating from High School. _Well, escaping anyway. Don't know how much I'd give for that piece of paper that says I graduated._ She's not thinking of Art as a career. Ask her, and she'll tell you. She's not thinking of _anything_ as a career. Frankly, she doesn't take anything too seriously in this life, and she's certainly not taking this job seriously. Too seriously.

Still she doesn't want to lose it. Not that it pays so great. It doesn't. But it does provide her with the three B's: Bed, board and booze. Mostly beer, though she doesn't mind an occasional bottle of Jack now and then. And this job beats out the alternatives: Fast food( grease pit city); public works( planting daisies in the park and scooping up the dog shit), or being a receptionist or hostess somewhere.

Nope, despite the fact that Leon was a lazy, bossy fat ass, this job was pretty sweet, and she wanted to hang onto it for awhile, at least. So, she studied the script, and when she felt not completely lost anymore; got up, straightened up, and went to meet the tour group. With 3 minutes to spare!

3

The Isabella Stewart Gardner wing of the Museum of Fine Art was named after a wealthy benefactress of the Museum. In design, it resembled a large Italian Villa, and the various "rooms" held collections donated by Mrs. Gardner and others. They were divided into classical, impressionist and modern sections. Faith usually worked as docent in the modern art section. Even though she wasn't particularly interested in art, she'd learned enough about her own collection to hold up under questions from the tour groups. But the Impressionists were foreign territory to her, and she was going to have to fake her way through it. _Oh well, if I'm lucky, I'll get a group that's pretty green too. I'll just stick to the script and get them through it. _

Faith walks through the employees only doors, and towards the group waiting for her.

Joyce Summers looks around the tour group, waiting a little impatiently to begin. This was one of the things she ' had' to see while in Boston. The reputation of the Isabella Gardner Stewart collection was well known in the art business. It was supposed to have one of the best collections of Impressionists in America, and she was anxious to get started. _It's really too bad this is open by tour only. I'd really just like to take my time and really study the collection. _

She isn't too impressed by the rest of her fellow ' tourists'. Mostly, it comprised of a local private school outing, chaperoned by a pair of obviously harried and oblivious teachers. The only other tour takers seemed to be a group of senior citizens. _Ok, now I'm feeling really old. The only people on the impressionist tour… old folks and school kids. I'm beginning to think I'm totally out of date, even in art!_ A young woman, in her very early twenties came to the fore of the group, and Joyce realizes that this is the tour guide. The docent. _God, would you look at her? She's barely older than Buffy. Ok, forget old. Now, I'm feeling ancient._

Faith takes one look at the group, and groans internally. _Great. School group. Lots of questions, lots of having to run after them to keep them in the group … _She cocks her head, noticing the older woman standing towards the back. _Teacher? No, not wearing one of the school jackets. And definitely not with the Seniors. Hmmm._

" Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Faith McKerrigan, and I'll be your guide this afternoon through the tour. We are going to explore the 19th Century Impressionist movement, including one of the finest collections of French and European Impressionist paintings in America. I only ask that we all stay together as a group; that will increase the enjoyment of the exhibition for everyone. Please try not to stray off. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, I hope you will enjoy your tour of the Isabella Stewart Gardner collection. Now, if you follow me, we'll begin."

Faith turns, and started leading the group through the entrance to the first hall.

Just as she feared, things didn't go smoothly. More than once she has to chase down students who decided that some of the dimmer corners of the Villa made excellent places to make out , or otherwise get into mischief. Not the most patient of people, Faith has to draw deeply on her reserve to keep a cool head, especially when the supposed ' chaperones' are nowhere to be found. That led to some amusement. And a bit of disgust on Faith's part when she found them.

On top of that, some of the seniors would dally by this painting or that, sometimes looking interested, more often confused. So, she has to move around constantly, trying to keep the seniors up with the group, and the school kids from wandering just about everywhere.

Needless to say, sticking to the script is hard. Fortunately, she has it on her clipboard, and is experienced enough to sneak peeks when no one is looking, to keep ahead.

Joyce follows along, feeling some empathy for the poor woman. She knows from experience how trying it can be with just two active teenagers, keeping them in check and in sight. She can see the strain on the girl's face, and her heart goes out to her. _Poor thing, she must be ready to pop. _

She also notes that while Ms. Mckerrigan tries to sound knowledgeable of the Impressionists, she's pretty much working from a script.

_I wonder if she even knows anything about the Impressionists__ Or even if she bothers to come look at the paintings when she's not working. If I worked here, they couldn't keep me away_

However, Faith stays on top of it, using her wit, sharpness and sheer bravado, through most of the tour. It's not until near the end of the tour that disaster strikes, in the form of a painting not on her list.

The painting in question is one by James A.M. Whistler, a reproduction of his famous _At the Piano._ She's lost. She doesn't recognize the picture, and surreptitiously goes through the notes, only to realize that a page is missing. The page with the description of this Painting. _Goddammit! What do I do now? Fake it, Faith. Won't be the first time._

"You know, this is one of my favorite paintings,"

Joyce speaks up, having noticed Faith's distress, " Whistler's _At the Piano"._

She moves closer to Faith. " I believe it's a fine example of his style, wouldn't you agree?" She addresses Faith.

"Yes," the look of grateful relief floods over Faith's face, and she smiles at Joyce. " absolutely. But since you seem to be particularly knowledgeable of this work, would you like to share that with us?"

Joyce, nodding just a hair , holds forth on the painting, pointing out it's similarity to some of Manet's early works, noting that while Manet tended to be more about placement and light, Whistler's works went for an emotional mood. She also pointed out the influences of the Courbet on Whistler's earlier works, and the elements of the 17th century Dutch and Spanish schools. Even Faith, who isn't particularly impressed by anything is impressed by Joyce's depth of knowledge. By the end, the entire group claps, and Joyce, realizing she's put herself in the spotlight, blushes.

She looks around, and sees Faith staring at her with frank interest. _What's she staring at? God, do I have like something in my teeth?_

As she's making her way back to the group, Joyce feels her hands shake a little, and her stomach do jumping jacks. _I wish she would stop staring at me! It's like she's undressing me!_

" Thank you, for that informative talk on the Whistler painting" Faith grins, a little salaciously." Now, if you'd all follow me…"

Faith manages to get through the rest of the tour without incident, and as the others are leaving, goes over to Joyce, who is lingering by the last exhibit.

"Hey… er… I didn't get your name," Faith confesses.

"Joyce. Joyce Summers, Ms. McKerrigan," Joyce smiles at her.

"Joyce. Right. Nice name, " Faith says, " I just wanted to say thanks. You really saved my butt out there."

"Oh, piffle, "Joyce says, " You just lost your place in your notes. I'm sure you would've found it."

"No, actually , there was a page missing. I was gonna try to fake it, but boy, you really knew your stuff. You should be doing this," Faith says, then frowns. " No, wait, I wouldn't wish Leon on anyone. Not on someone like _you_."

_What? Like me? What does she mean? Who's Leon?_

"Oh, my boss, and the snob assed overeducated docent supervisor for the museum…and did I mention, a total jerk?"

Joyce laughs, and shakes her head, " Sounds like a graduate student."

"I think so. Boston College. Certainly not Harvard," Faith laughs," trust me, he doesn't have the brains for Harvard!"

"Oh, yeah, I remember grad students. They so loved to lord it over the undergrads, at least when I went to college. You know, back in the Pleistocene era."

Faith makes a face," Oh, c'mon, you're not that old. You're what? 30? 31?"

Joyce can almost feel her ears burning. " You, Ms. McKerrigan, are a flatterer. A charming flatterer but still a flatterer."

"Of course, I can't totally hate Leon now. You kinda ruined that for me."

"I ruined that for you?" Joyce looks at her, puzzled.

"If not for him, I never would've met you…" _Damn, I'm gonna have to start being nicer to him. Wait, no, I don't think so. I'll just buy him a box of candy… and only poison half of it._

The women stand there for a moment. Joyce is embarrassed, antsy and excited all at the same time. She doesn't have a clue what to make of it, but part of her is screaming ' wrong, so wrong, run, run NOW!'. Joyce knows that voice and trusts it. It's kept her safe up to now.

"I really have to go now, Ms. McKerrigan" Joyce backs away, feeling trapped. She hits a railing, and makes a little noise.

Faith catches up to her. She takes Joyce's hand in both of hers. " Faith. Please, call me Faith."

"Faith, then, " Joyce smiles, but is intently aware of Faith's hands on her. She withdraws her hand as quickly as she can without being rude. " It was nice meeting you." Joyce starts to turn to go.

"Uhhh… Joyce?" Faith moves around , trying to get back in front of her, " I was wondering. I have my lunch break coming up, and I was … well, hoping you'd let me buy you lunch. Because of what you did. Please?" It suddenly becomes very important to Faith that she not lose contact with this woman. " I mean, maybe we could talk some more about that art junk, you know?" _Ok, this isn't working. Go for broke, Faith… _" Look, I like you, Joyce. Really like you. I want to get to know you better. So, if that's cool, please, have lunch with me, ok?"

Joyce is feeling majorly wigged. And a little crowded. " I appreciate it, but I really don't know you that well, and frankly? Not really feeling up to being sociable. I don't mean to be rude, but I've had a heck of a day, and I only came here today because I wanted to be sure I got it in before I left Boston. But thank you for the offer."

"That's the point. To get to know each other. I really want to get to know you, Joyce, " Faith is almost sounding desperate. " I've never met anyone like you, and I like what I'm seeing. And I want to see you more…"

"Faith, again, thank you. but really, I just can't. I hope you understand, but I really can't have lunch with you. You seem like a nice _girl_, but … I'm sorry, I have to go now," Joyce, feeling anxious, doesn't wait for an answer, but leaves.

"Wait… Joyce… wait!" Faith calls out, running after her, " please, I'm sorry, I was rude… I didn't mean it. Don't run away, please."

Joyce stops, and turns around. Her face has an angry expression on it. She waits for Faith to catch up.

"Ms. McKerrigan," Joyce's words are clipped and precise. " You meant exactly what you said. I'm sorry, but if I wasn't clear, I'm really _not interested._

I wouldn't put up with that if a man did it to me, so do you think I should because _you _did it to me? I don't think it was either proper, or very nice. Good day, "

Joyce goes to turn, and then turns back, " And I think it better you call me Mrs. Summers from now on." She turns and leaves without looking back.

Faith watches her hurry away, and stands there, dazed and upset. _Gee, what? Did I like try to attack her or something?_ Why'd she get so mad?

_C'mon, Faith, do you really need to ask? Are you that stupid? You came on to her, pushed her against a wall, practically. Geeze, the only thing you didn't do was to rip the clothes off her ! She was right. You came on like a crude drunken sailor. What the hell did you expect her to do? Lay down and spread her legs?_

_Stupid, Faith. Totally stupid! Dumb, stupid and moronic. You blew it, big time. You're NEVER gonna see her again._

_Idiot!_

Faith shakes her head, and walks away.

4

"Smooth, Joyce, really smooth, " Joyce chides herself as she walks back to her hotel.

She decided to forgo a cab, because she wanted the air. And she wanted to think. And cool off.

At first, Joyce is totally angry. _God, what the hell did that young woman think? I was some kind of desperate woman cruising for a date? And hey, there's the whole I'm not a lesbian, or even close! God, I've never felt so… dirty in my life! Never mind, insulted. Thinking I was so needy I'd go cruising for a kid in a museum! God, what kind of person does she think I am?_

_Uhhh… Joyce? Did you figure maybe she didn't know what kind of person that you were? That maybe she wanted to FIND OUT what kind of person you were? Think about it? Did she try to maul you? Did she come on to you, really? I mean, somewhere out of your gutter dwelling mind, that is? She asked you to lunch. Said she liked you. Geeze, and that's terrible…because…? Yeah, go ahead smarty, what's the answer? What's so terrible? Sure, she was flirting with you. But so what? You didn't even give her the courtesy to tell her you're not interested in her, that way. No, instead you treat her like Buffy when she comes home late from a date. " Your in trouble, young lady. Get to your room, you're grounded for a week." God, Joyce, that's just so…mom!_

_And if you want to admit it, Joyce, it was nice to be noticed, wasn't it? Kind of nice to be paid attention to, not being ignored like Hank the Horrible would do. She actually treated you like a person. Not a 'wife', not a 'mom'( ok, being mom? Not bad, but still), but as a person. Someone who actually matters more than just being sure the house runs smoothly. Someone who actually was more than a Wife and Mom. Now, how was that terrible? And, did she actually do anything that led you to think she wanted more than lunch? I mean, really?_

_Geeze, Joyce. Get a grip. Maybe you should just relax, and invite her to lunch, and be done with it. Yeah, ok, that's a plan. let's do that. Yeah, A perfectly safe, neutral lunch. You eat, you talk a little, and then it's over. Anyway, what's the deal? By tomorrow, she will have forgotten all about the incident, and hey, I will too. _

Joyce, however, doesn't keep her word. For the rest of the afternoon and evening, she thinks about the young girl, and what happened at the museum.

_What was her name again? Faith? Yeah, that's it. Faith. God, she must think I'm a nut case. Or a loon. Definitely, loon. Why did I react like that? I mean, what did I think would happen? Am I that burnt out over the divorce that I'm starting to imagine things? About perfect strangers? Why did that happen? I mean, I didn't freak on Sam… the cab driver, and he's more my type. Meaning male. But still… Ok, this has gone beyond weird, Joyce. Any moment, Rod Serling's going to pop out of the closet, and tell you you've entered the twilight zone. Geeze, get a grip!_

However, try as she might, the incident, and the attendant strangeness won't go away.

_Ok, this is just stupid. Here's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow, I'll go back to the Museum around lunch time, ask her to lunch. That way, we do it, get it over with, and it's out of my mind. God, I can't believe I'm acted like that. I'm an adult, for god's sake, pushing 40. Yet, I'm, acting like a schoolgirl or something._

_I've got to be a total idiot!_

5

Faith was just leaving for lunch, still kicking herself over yesterday. _What was I thinking? Am I a kid, or what? I might as well have said, "come on, baby, let's fuck!" When the hell did I grow a dick and start thinking with it?_

She looks across the street, and stops dead in her tracks. Stand there, holding a bag, was Joyce. Looking uncertain. Looking apologetic. _God, looking hot!_

Joyce had dressed more casually, wearing a blazer, pink button down oxford shirt, jeans and boots._ Man, can you say sexy?_

_Ok, Faith, get a grip? What's she doing here? I thought after yesterday, I'd never see _her_ again! I swear she wanted to slap me. Not like I didn't deserve it._

Faith makes her way across the street, and comes up to Joyce, who at the moment happens to be looking away.

"Hey," Faith says, from behind her.

Joyce jumps a little, and turns around.

"Wow, you scared me!" Joyce says, a trace of irritation in her tone.

"Yeah, I got that affect on lots of women," Faith winks. " Like yesterday. I really came on strong. Ok, I was a dick, ok? And hey, I'm really sorry. I would've told you that, if you hadn't run off so fast."

Joyce's cheeks go pink, and Faith smirks. _Nice. Really nice!_

"Yeah, about that. Look, things have been kind of crazy lately, and … well… I just … oh I don't know, I acted crazy, ok? I took it all wrong, and over-reacted. I'm sorry. I wanted to come by, and see if maybe we could have that lunch?" She shakes the bag. "What do you think?" She opens the bag, and shows the contents. "Hoagies, really nice. And coffee… and stuff… so?"

"Gee, don't know, Joyce, "Faith grins. "Sure you won't like freak out, rip the sandwich from my mouth and take off again?"

"Ok, ok, I deserve that, "Joyce says ruefully, "Just, say yes, ok?"

"Yes, ok, "Faith teases her. She looks at the bag" Oooo, Barneys. You really did it right, didn't you? How'd you know about Barney's?" In Faith's opinion, Barney's makes the best Hoagies, anywhere, ever.

"I asked the concierge. He told me."

"Good man, "Faith grins, "Well, this'll be nice, having lunch with you. Been a long time since I've had lunch with an attractive woman."

Joyce almost drops the bag, and blushes deep red. _Ok, no mistaking that comment._

"You know you're an attractive woman, don't you, Joyce?" Faith says, openly flirting with her. Casually, she takes Joyce's arm and leads her deeper into the little garden park. "C'mon, I know a nice little spot."

Joyce allows herself to be led, and they find a little spot near a pond with a bridge. They sit on the bench, Joyce placing the bag between them. _A little safety never hurts._.

For awhile, they don't say anything as they munch on the sandwiches. Joyce, for her part, is a little taken aback at the younger woman's brashness.

_Ok, I know I've been out of circulation for a long time, but I recognize a full court flirt when I see one. And she was flirting with me. Wasn't she? Oh, c'mon, old girl, don't get so full of yourself. She was probably just trying to be friendly. Anyway, if she flirts a little, so what? Not like I'm going to see her after today. Just relax, girl. Enjoy, for once. Nice not to be treated like a chair, you know?_

"So, ummm… Faith, you're from Boston, then?" Joyce finally breaks the silence, trying to lighten things up a little.

"Yeah. Really good thing too. Hate to be from say, oh, Atlanta. The commute would be killer, "Faith chuckles."

"Very funny, Faith. I mean, you were born here?"

"Oh, yeah. Born and bred. South Boston.

"Oh, ok, "Joyce says, not really knowing where that is.'

"You ever see the movie _Good Will Hunting_ ?" Faith asks.

"Yeah, sure. Matt Damon, Ben Afleck, Robin Williams."

"Then you've seen South Boston. Part of it, anyway. It was shot there."

"Really? I didn't know that. Imagine!"

"Don't have to, if you've seen the movie, "Faith says, taking it literally. "Pretty cool that the Southie was totally a genius. One up on those snobby guys, fer sure. "She looks at Joyce, "So, where you from?"

"California. I live there, with my children."

"You got kids?" Faith looks amazed.

"Well, yes, two girls. Dawn, 15, and Buffy, almost 18."

You're shitting me! When did you have them, like, when you were 13?"

Joyce laughs. "Now you're being silly. I'm 39, Faith. Almost forty!"

"No way! No WAY! You're shitting me now, I know it. You look like 30!"

"Well, thank you, "Joyce blushes, "And if you want to think I'm 30, I won't argue with you."

Faith feels a bit of disappointment. _Damn! The good ones are always straight, and married. Drag!_

"So, I'm guessing you're like here with the kids and Hubby?"

"No hubby," Joyce says, a slight bitter edge in her voice. "Ex-hubby. And no, I'm here alone. Kids are back home, in school. Wish I could've brought them along. I really miss them!"

"Oh, so you're divorced?" _YES!_ " I'm sorry to hear that!"_ Like hell I'm sorry!_

"It's for the best, know what I mean? We've been kind of drifting apart for the last 10 years. And Hank …" Joyce goes quiet. She gets a sad-angry look on her face.

"What? What's wrong?" Faith asks.

"Just… damn… I caught him cheating on me. I guess that explains the not being home…EVER!"

"Oh, man, that so sucks!" _Not for me. Oh, it so don't suck for me!_ " Bastard!"

"Maybe that's why he was playing around. I never wanted to … "Joyce blushes pink." … you know." She says in a small voice.

"Huh?" Faith looks at her. _What the … never? Oh my god!_

"Yeah, I just couldn't get the idea of putting it in my mouth… kinda ick, if you think about it."

Faith shrugs. _Oh, I agree, baby. Me and cocks? So not simpatico!_

"So, maybe he went looking for someone who would. Maybe this was my fault…"

"Ok, that's bogus. If the guy hinges your marriage on you sucking his cock, he's totally a prick, you know?"

Joyce just blushes and goes quiet.

"Hey, sorry. Look I don't know… I'm just going by what you tell me here. "_Shit, girl, don't fuck this up before it even gets going!_

"No, actually, I was thinking about it, and all the crap he gave me?" Joyce looks at Faith, " and you're right. He is a total prick!" Joyce blushes. " Oh god, did I just say that out loud?"

"Oh yeah, you did, "Faith nods, " but don't worry, he sounds like a real dick."

"Oh, he is, he really is, " Joyce laughs. " Wow, that's the first time I've been able to laugh about it, ever."

"Well, I hope he got the lil cocksucker he so richly deserves. Letting a fine woman like you go, " Faith says. They look at each other, and laugh.

"So, you're from California, huh?" Faith asks, after the laughter subsides." I always kinda wanted to go there. You know, like Matt Damon did, at the end of _Good Will Hunting._"

"Yeah, born and bred," Joyce smiles. " Los Angeles, actually."

"Whoa. L.A. totally cool!"

"Sure. If you forget about the smog, and traffic, and the general hassle. Yeah, I suppose it's cool."

"I bet it's pretty. And warm. Damn, I'm so damned tired of freezing my ass off in these Boston winters!"

"Yeah, that'd be a shame, " Joyce deadpans.

"What?" Faith looks puzzled.

"Your ass dropping off, frozen," Joyce chuckles.

Faith looks at her, and laughs heartily.

"God, I like you. You're … weird, but good weird, get it?"

"I'm weird?" Joyce looks at Faith. " Who's the one working as a docent at an art museum, and doesn't know squat about art? Isn't that just a little weird?"

_Damn, busted!_

"Hey, I know stuff. Just not about a bunch of old painter dudes, " Faith catches Joyce's look. " I do! I know… I know… what I like!"

Joyce starts laughing. She looks at Faith, and laughs harder. Faith starts to get offended, then she catches the laugh, and soon both are at it, laughing like idiots.

"I … I … guess It's ok … as long… as you don't tell me… you like… the dogs playing …poker…" Joyce gets out between laughs.

"Oh…Damn!… I thought… that's…so cool" Faith laughs along with her.

Faith looks at her watch, and her laughter dies. " Oh crap!"

"Huh?"

"I'm late! Gotta get back to work, " Faith pops up. " Hey, can we like…look, if you won't freak, can we like… do dinner? Maybe a movie or somethin?"

Joyce looks at Faith. She's a little nervous. She's having a great time. And she likes this girl. Really likes her. But … _what the hell do we have in common? I'm old enough to be her mom!_

"Look, Faith, " Joyce says, " This was very nice. But… really, I don't think I really want more." She looks at Faith, and smiles," It… well, it's just not my thing."

"Your thing?" Faith cocks her head." For Christ's sake, Joyce. I'm not asking you to marry me. I just want to see you again. Have dinner. A couple of chuckles. You're a funny lady. I like you. Emphasize, _like._ Friends. Is that so bad?"

"No, but…" Joyce stalls, not sure where this is going, and whether she wants to go along for the ride.

"Aw, c'mon, don't think about it!" Faith says, getting a little antsy, " just say yes!"

_Oh, what the hell? It's just dinner. Nothing's going to happen!_

"Ok, yes!" Joyce says. " Should I like pick you up here?"

"Er… no…really, I'd kinda like to go home and shower and change beforehand. So… where you staying?"

"Wyndham Hotel, downtown. Do you know where it is? I could meet you back here, if that'd be easier."

"Naw, I know where the Wyndham is, " Faith says, waving her hand, " I worked there for awhile. Didn't work out."

"Ok, my hotel then. What time?"

"Well, after I get off work, and go home, and get ready… let's say … oh… around 7?"

"Ok, 7 it is. See you tonight." Joyce stands up, grabbing the basket.

"Cool beans. Seeya!" Faith takes off, a little jaunty bounce in her walk.

Joyce watches her walk away, and she can't help feeling she might have made a mistake. Or maybe not.

Feeling confused, she hails a cab to take her back to her hotel.

A few hours later, Joyce is in her room, checking her look in the mirror. _Ok, god, let's see. I don't think it's too momish… god, what am I thinking? This is just a casual dinner among friends. Friends. That's so weird. I've known the girl like, 2 hours max, and I feel like she's a friend. Gaaah, stop thinking so much. _She turns back to the mirror.

She's wearing a basic black backless cocktail dress, heels and a pearl necklace. _Too much? Hell, I don't know. I don't know where we're going Oh, screw it. If she doesn't like it, too darned bad! I've already spent two hours trying on different looks. This goes with anything._

The phone by her bed rings, and Joyce walks over to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Yes, Mrs. Summers? This is the concierge. There's a young lady down here. She says she's here to meet up with you?"

"Yes, that's correct. Please tell her I'll be down in a few minutes"

"Very good, Mrs. Summers."

"Thank you. Goodbye."

Joyce sets down the phone, and goes to the closet, retrieving her coat. Picking her purse up off the bed, she heads for the door.

She pauses before opening it. Somehow, she has a feeling, things are going to change. Change a lot.

She's not sure how she feels about that. It makes her nervous. It frankly, scares her a little.

_But maybe, it's what I need. Maybe I need shaking up._

_Oh, god, Joyce. It's dinner. Don't be an ass! Nothing's going to happen!_

_You're such a … mom!_

Opening the door, she walks through and closes it behind her.

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see part one

A change of seasons, Part 2

1

Joyce gets two steps from her door when she hears the phone ring in her room.

_Damn, talk about bad timing!_ She starts back towards the room, then stops. _Wait, I'm going out. Ignore it. _She turns, takes a few steps, and stops. _What if it's Buffy or Dawn? What if something's wrong? Dammit!_

She turns around, rushes to her room, all the time the phone is ringing'

She gets the key out of her purse, and opens the door. _Keep ringing, keep ringing! _She rushes to the phone, answering it.

" Hello?" She says, a little breathless.

" Joyce? Is that you?" A familiar male voice comes over the line, " you sound like you've been running."

_Damn! Hank!_

" I was in the hall when the phone rang, " Joyce says, " What is it?" She asks, a little impatient.

" Well, it's done, " Hank, catching her impatience, sounds a little petulant." My lawyer faxed the final papers to your lawyer, and he wants to send a copy to you. I was just calling to confirm your room number."

" You could've done that with the concierge at the front desk, Hank."

" I also wanted you to know it's over. Are you happy now?"

_Always the asshole, right Hank?_

" In the twenty years we were married, Hank, you asked some stupid things. But I think you just topped your previous record. Of course, I'm not happy, Hank. We were married 20 years. Think this is easy for me?"

" Truth? Yes, I do. This is what _you_ wanted, Joyce. I didn't want this."

" Oh, please, Hank. What was I supposed to do while you were boinking your secretary? Stay home and raise the kids? _Not_ that I ever minded that, I love Buffy and Dawn. The time I had with them, I wouldn't trade for anything," Joyce starts getting wound up, " but come on, Hank. I supported you in your career for 18 years. I wanted this, and I don't think it was asking too much. Guess I was wrong, huh?" She adds, an edge to her voice.

" Joyce, you're hardly home anymore. Buffy and Dawn ask me, ' Where's mom?' I come home not knowing if I'm even going to see you. I'm sorry, but I got a little lonely…"

" Hank, can you say horse crap? That's what that is. This isn't just happening now, because of my work at the Gallery. You think I don't know you're a player? I put up with it, because I thought it was best the kids have 2 parents. But dammit, Hank, I could smell them on you! All those late nights, out of town meetings, all that… how much was really about business?"

There's a silence at the other end.

Joyce sighs, " Same old stuff, huh, Hank? You're weak, you play around, and somehow it's my fault. " Joyce shakes her head, " I really wish you could know what it feels like to be me, you know? I stuck with you 20 years, Hank, and believe me, it hasn't been easy. Especially the last 10, when you've been distant. I'm tired, dammit. Real tired. Of all of this."

" Oh, I see. So you're tired, and you're going to throw out 20 years of Marriage. Is that it? Nice, really nice, Joyce. What ever happened to trying to save the marriage?"

" I've been trying to save this marriage for a long time, Hank. Maybe you haven't been paying attention. Wouldn't surprise me, considering." Joyce feels her anger rise. " Maybe if you'd tried , too, rather than chase the next skirt that came along, things wouldn't have gotten to this point. But they have, and I'm out of trying."

" What about the kids? Buffy and Dawn? How're they going to take this? Don't you think this is going to affect them?"

" You think I don't know this is going to be hard on them? I know that, Hank. But I know I don't want my daughters growing up thinking it's ok if they or their husbands cheat. Don't you think they know what's going on?"

" Did you tell them? Joyce, I swear if you try to turn them against me…"

" Hank, they told me. They're not dumb, Hank. I'm the only dumb one allowing you to do this to me. And, don't you even _try_ to threaten me, Henry Summers. I've been very generous in the custody part of the divorce. I want my daughters to have their parents. Both of them. But if you try anything funny, or expose them to your girlfriends, Hank? I'll fight you tooth and nail over it, and I'll win. And you'll lose ALL custodial rights."

" Fine, Joyce. I hear you. But hear me now. I'll do this, because frankly? I don't want to be with you anymore. But you better be really careful , Joyce. I'll be watching. If you slip in any way taking care of Buffy or Dawn, I'm going to take them from you. Get it?" Hank's tone grows cold. "Goodbye, Joyce." He hangs up.

Joyce looks at the phone for a moment, feeling angry and used. She puts it down carefully, and realizes she's shaking. She lays back, feeling wiped out. Angry and frustrated, she can't hold back the tears falling down her face.

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rings again. Joyce glares at it, figuring it's Hank back for round two. She almost doesn't answer it. She really doesn't feel like another round of this crap. Then she worries it might be Buffy or Dawn. She picks up the phone.

" Hello?" She says softly, keeping her anger under control.

" Hello? Ms. Summers? This is George at the front desk. The young lady that was asking after you earlier was wondering if you'll be coming down or not?"

_Oh, god, I forgot all about Faith! The poor girl's been waiting down there for me all this time. Damn._

" Oh, yes, tell her I'll be down in just a few minutes." Joyce says.

She rushes to the bathroom.

" God, I look like Rocky Raccoon!" She mutters, cleaning up and fixing her makeup. _I can't do this tonight. I …god, I hope she understands, but I just can't go out. I feel like crap, and I'll be horrible company._

Joyce grabs her purse from where she left it, and hurries out of the room.

2

Faith paces nervously, looking at the clock over the check in desk. She stops, closes her eyes, and tries to focus, bring her nervousness under control. She's got to remain cool, seem calm. This is important.

_Damn, could more go wrong? First, that rust bucket I laughingly call a car, quits on me. I try to borrow my brother's car… but he's not home. Of course, mom and dad won't loan me _their _car. Not real happy with who I date. I tried a couple of friends. No luck. No car. Damn, this dates over before it begins._

_Now, Joyce isn't coming down. Well, they just called and said she's coming down, but they said that a half hour ago, too. I wonder if she's trying to blow me off, and just doesn't want to face me. God, do I scare her that much? Ok, I was a little aggressive. But damn, how do you get anything if you don't go for it?_

_Wait… wait… here she comes. Oh, and she dressed up… and she's gorgeous. And here I am, dressed in my leathers. Oh, I'm gonna look like a kid. She's gonna get weirded out again. Hold it, Faith. You don't know that. Anyway, I gotta break the date. Man, I hate this. Just be cool. You can do this, turn on the charm. Make another date. Don't take no for an answer. Do the adult thing. Oh, god, Run! No, it's cool. Mommy!_

Joyce walks over from the elevators, and looks around. She sees Faith, and she briefly stops. _Oh, boy, did I get it wrong. I'm really overdressed. Doesn't matter. I just go up to her, and break the date. Don't be a coward here, Joyce. Just do it, go on. She deserves it in person. Ok, ok, doing it, don't nag me!_

" Hello, Faith, " Joyce walks over to Faith.

" Hi, Joyce, you look… wow." Faith smiles broadly. _Oh, man, this so sucks!_

_Wow? When was the last time anyone said I looked ' wow' ?_

" Why thank you, Faith, " Joyce smiles, despite feeling crappy, " you look… nice."

" Yeah, about that. That piece of crap I call a car kinda did a header on me. I tried to get another car, but… " Faith shrugs. " All I got is my bike. That's why I'm wearing my leathers… I'm really sorry…" She looks at Joyce again, a little wistfully. " I was gonna call you, but I figured you deserved to be told face to face, you know? "

" Actually, Faith, I was going…" Joyce sees the disappointment in Faith's face, and stops. _She looks so sad. Just because she can't have dinner with me? God, I can't remember when someone looked so sad to miss dinner with me._

Maybe it's vanity, or a need for someone to validate her, or just being sympathetic that Faith looks so disappointed in herself for things going wrong, but Joyce finds she's touched by the younger woman. _You know what? This is silly. I'd just go up to my suite and feel bad all night. Forget that._

" You know what, Faith? I was going to suggest we eat here, anyway. I mean, with you having to get to work early and all, and I'll admit, I'm kinda tired, I think I'd prefer it. What do you say?" Joyce almost chuckles when Faith's face lights up.

" Really? You're not disappointed?" Faith looks at Joyce, her smile broadening. " I was gonna take you to one of my fave places, but the Wyndham's got a nice restaurant. I thought you'd like to get outta here."

" No, this will be just fine, " Joyce finds herself smiling again. It's nice to be wanted around, even if it's only a young girl her daughter's age. _We probably have zip in common, but it's only dinner. It'll be nice not to eat alone for once._

The women start towards the restaurant. They reach the entrance, and the Maitre d' comes to seat them. He takes one look at Faith, and frowns.

" I'm sorry, Miss. But we have a dress code here. Ladies must wear a skirt."

" What?" Faith looks at Joyce, then back at the Maitre d'. " It's not like I'm showin' anything. C'mon, guy, can't you make an exception?" _Aw crap, what next? You gonna rain frogs on me?_

" I'm really sorry, but there are no exceptions." The Maitre d' turns away.

Faith sighs, and turns away. She looks resigned. " Well, that blows. I'm really sorry, Joyce…" She stops when she sees Joyce's face. " What?"

Joyce is standing there, with a tight expression. She looks at Faith.

" You still want to take me to dinner?" She asks

" Well, yeah, but I can't get in."

" Oh… we'll get in. C'mon."

She takes Faith's hand.

" What?"

" You owe me a dinner, and I'm be darned if I'm going to let some snooty waiter stop me getting it."

" Joyce, where we going? Joyce?" Faith doesn't resist, she lets Joyce pull her along.

" My room. I've got a little black cocktail dress I'm sure will fit you. This is the most STUPID thing I've seen. What?" She stops at the elevator, punching the button and turning to Faith. " Isn't your money green enough for them?" The door opens, and Joyce enters. " C'mon. All of a sudden, I'm starving!"

Faith laughs, and without hesitation, enters the elevator.

_God, I knew there was a reason I love this woman._

The doors close on them.

20 minutes later, they re-emerge.

Faith is now dressed in a black cocktail dress. It's a little tight around the bosom, but otherwise fits. She also borrowed a pair of heels, which pinch a little, and a pair of stockings. All in all, she looks very nice.

" Stupid over-paid under-educated morons, " Joyce grumbles to herself. "If I want to have dinner with a friend, no self important little twit's gonna stop me!"

_Yeah, I'm thinking nothing can stop you getting what you want when you get your mind made up, Joycie. Now, all I gotta make ya do is see that I'm what you want. No, scratch that. What you need._

Without thinking about it, she slips her arm through Joyce's, and they enter the restaurant.

3

Joyce is laughing merrily.

It's an hour later, and after a couple of drinks and dinner, they've become somewhat more comfortable with each other.

Joyce has to admit to herself. She can't remember when she's had a better time in a very long time. It's not that Faith has done any big thing, it's just all the little touches, that seem to come to her naturally. She really pays attention when Joyce says something, laughs at her sometimes foolish jokes, and generally defers to Joyce on most things.

But it's not like Faith sits there like a lump. She's charming, she keeps up her end of the conversation, and flirts with Joyce just enough to show interest, without making her uncomfortable. _Well, not really uncomfortable, anyway. Still not used to be flirted with by a woman, but I can't say I'm entirely hating it._

Joyce is laughing because Faith tells incredible, and Joyce suspects, sometimes made up stories. But it really ok, because Faith puts such enthusiasm and detail into them , and is so ready to show herself as the fool, that Joyce is charmed, even if they're just a little hard to believe.

" … so , anyway, there I am. Now, I'm not gonna lie to ya, Joycie. I was buzzing pretty good. The party had been going on for awhile, and I'd had my share to drink. But I'm telling ya, a bunch of my friends bet me, thought I wouldn't do it. So, I told them to set it up, and I'd be there. So, we meet at this place in Southie where we race around a bit, know what I mean? And these jokers, they've set up this jump for me. A ramp , followed by a line of Barrels. Now, the deal was, I not only had to jump the barrels, but I had to do it naked, you know?" She looks at Joyce.

" Oh, c'mon now, Faith, you don't think I'm gonna believe you rode there naked, do you?" Joyce waves a dismissive hand.

" Naked as the day I popped outta mom's chute, let me tell ya. Ok, I was wearing leather chaps, cuz you can burn your thighs on a bike if they're naked, and I had on a helmet, but otherwise… and baby, it was FREEZING! I mean, I swore my tits were gonna drop off somewhere along the way, and my nipples were so hard I could've cut glass with them. Shit, my ass almost stuck to the seat of the bike. But I was drunk and stupid, ya know? So I roar up on my bike, spin out the back wheel. Now remember, I did this as a bet. If I won, a girl, she was this hot red-head , promised to… well, anyway, it would be fun.

So there I am, sittin' where the ramp starts, revving up the engine. All the time I'm thinking … have I gone nuts? Shit, I was scared. You better believe I was scared. Never mind I thought my lil girl would be fuckin ' froze shut permanently. Shit, it couldn't have been more than 35 degrees. The only warmth I'm getting is from the bike, and that wasn't near enough. I thought, shit, let's get this done so I can get my ass to feelin' again, you know? So I back up a little, really rev it up, and take off.

Now, I'm going up the ramp, and I'm thinkin' ok, I got this, I'm gonna make this… and shit if my back wheel don't hit something, and wobble just a little when I'm like ready to jump… So too late to stop, I lay on the throttle, and pray.

Now I'm airborne, ok? And I'm flying over the barrels, but my bike's nose is fallin… and I'm thinking " Shit, Faith, you really done it now. You're never gonna make this. There gonna suck you up with a turkey baster . Shit, shit, shit you're gonna die". So I'm up and leaning forward, full throttle, goddam I'm fucking trying to use my body to push forward…"

" So what happened?" Joyce is leaning forward, fascinated.

" Well… I made it, or I wouldn't be here tellin' ya this," Faith teases her, " But I swear my rear wheel barely cleared the last barrel… and man, the front wheel hit hard, nearly making me do a header over the handlebars, you know? And shit then my rear wheel came down hard, and my rear quick after, and MAAAAN that really hurt! Shit! And you know the real pisser, Joyce?"

Joyce shakes her head.

" That hot red-head. You know, the one that I did this for? The bitch left the party an hour earlier… went home with someone else. MAN! I was sooo totally pissed. And frozen. God, I wanted to kill those jokers!" She shakes her head, and laughs. " My fucking fanny hurt for a week!"

Both women laugh.

" You're crazy, you realize that?" Joyce says, laughing.

" Oh yeah, you bet. Never do that again, though, " Faith agrees. _Maybe crazy -just a little. For you!_

" So, Faith, you've convinced me. You're a little crazy, " Joyce says, " but I'm kind of curious. What're your plans?"

" Oh, I dunno. I was thinkin', if you have a good time on this date, I'd ask ya for another one on the weekend."

" Come on, Faith. I'm being serious, " Joyce says. " What's your plan for your life?"

_Oh, believe me, Joycie. I'm totally serious here._

" Not sure what you mean, Joyce," Faith answers. " My plan? Right now, just kinda enjoying my life, you know? I got the Docent job, that satisfies the Three B's…"

" Three B's?"

" Bed, board and beer," Faith grins. She shrugs, " I dunno. Really hadn't thought about it."

Joyce shakes her head slightly. " Faith, you really must think about what you want to do with your life, you know?"

" Aw, c'mon, Joyce. Not like I'm slackin' or nothing. I'm working, putting a roof over my head. If I like a good time, what's the harm?"

" Now? Really, nothing. But it all passes fast, believe me, Faith. Things happen. You could find yourself suddenly getting married, and having kids, and then what? I mean, things happen, Faith. You could find yourself figuring out how to support those kids when…"

" WHOA! Joyce, rewind girl. Who said anything about marriage and kids here? Shoot, I'm … really, I haven't…"

" Faith, I'm not trying to scare you. Just give you a little advice. It all goes quickly, and if you don't figure out what you want, and how you're going to get there, you'll be left behind before you even realize you were in the race… do you see what I mean?"

Faith gives Joyce a funny look, and for a moment doesn't say anything.

_Smooth Joyce. Insult the girl. What do you know about her, really? And hey, look at your own life. No model there. Still, I've been there, and I don't want her to end up like me!_

" Faith, I'm only saying this because you're intelligent, you can do anything if you apply yourself. And believe me, you don't want to get caught 20 years from now with your pants down, and not have something to fall back on. It's hard to start over when you hit my age."

" Joyce, " Faith says quietly, " I know what I want. Believe me, I have a plan to get there. So, don't worry, ok?" _I want YOU, Joycie. And I'm gonna get you. _

" Good, I'm glad to hear it, " Joyce says, a little grimly. She shakes her head. " I really like you, Faith. I just want to be sure you're going to be ok. I don't want …." She trails off.

" Joyce, are you ok?" Faith leans in. " you've been kind of distracted all night."

" It's nothing, really, " Joyce says, reluctant to talk about it.

" C'mon, Joyce. We're friends, right? That's what friends do, listen. So, I'm here. I'm listening. Go for it."

" Well, it's kind of a Good News/ Bad News deal, " Joyce says. " Which do you want first?"

" Bad news. I like to get it over with," Faith says.

" Ah… well, just before I came down… actually, why I was late coming down? I had a phone call from Hank." Joyce's mouth tightens. " That was fun."

" Hey, " Faith says softly. She reaches out, putting her hand on Joyce's " You ok? What did he say?"

" Yeah, I'm ok, I guess. Just so tired of it, Faith," Joyce shakes her head, recalling the conversation. " He tried again to put the blame for the divorce on me. I didn't let him get away with it, but he keeps doing this. I don't know why. I know he's not really interested in me as a woman anymore, god he's proved _that_ over and over again."

_Yeah, this Hank? Sounding like a real dork. _Faith thinks. _What kind of moron is he? Hey, why should I care?_

" Then I tell him he better not give me any grief, or I'm going to really cut his water off. That is, I'll do what I can to keep him away from the girls." Joyce looks sad. " I don't want to, but I can't be having him exposing them to his … affairs, if you catch my drift."

Faith nods sympathetically. _Yeah, he's an A-1 Jerk. Got that one_.

" Then the bastard turns around, and says I better watch my step, because if he gets a chance, he's going to take my daughters from me. ME! I raised the girls when he was out … God, I wanted to strangle him!"

" What a prick, " Faith says, shaking her head.

" Yeah, well, that leads into the good news."

" Oh, so there really is good news?" Faith's face dimples into a smile.

" Oh definitely. Matter of fact, it's such good news, I think we need to celebrate." Joyce calls out to the waiter. " Waiter!"

A waiter walks over. " Yes, ma'am?"

" A bottle of champagne. On a separate check, please."

" You don't need to …" Faith starts to protest.

" No, Faith. This is my celebration. It's on me."

" What're we celebrating?"

" Freedom, Faith, " Joyce smiles. " I got the divorce papers today!"

_YES!_

4

They spent another hour killing the champagne. Mostly, Joyce killed the champagne. Faith drank a couple of glasses, but mostly was focused in on Joyce.

As Joyce felt the effects of the champagne she consumed, she became more talkative. She began to detail the last ten years of her marriage, how Hank became less interested in her, started working late, gone a lot on ' out of town' trips for the company. She laughed at herself, not seeing the signs of what's going on.

" It was kind of dumb, I know. " Joyce, a little tipsy, elaborates. " I'm not a dummy, you know."

" Oh, I know Joyce," Faith agrees.

" I shoulda seen it right there, you know? I mean, I've made fun of those movies when it's so obvious that the husband is running around, and the wife remains clueless. I always thought, " Well, that's just dumb." Because who wouldn't see it, right?" Joyce points at herself. " Me. I didn't. I'm so dumb!"

" No, you're not dumb, Joyce, " Faith disagrees, " You just trusted him. Ok, maybe that wasn't too smart, but you loved him, Joyce. You couldn't just be some paranoid wife thinking he was sleeping with every woman he met. That's not you."

" And yet, it seems he did sleep with almost every woman he met… at least, the ones under 30, " Joyce giggles. " Good champagne."

" More?" Faith offers to pour.

" Oh, no, I shouldn't… Ok," Joyce grins, and holds out her glass. " God, how could I be so blind, anyway? I'm not stupid. I mentioned that, right? I mean, about being stupid?"

" Yeah, you did. " Faith fills Joyce's glass. " Let's face it, he was sort of a…"

" Cheat? Scoundrel? Prick? Bastard? Oh yeah, " Joyce nods, and holds up a glass. " A toast… hey, Faith, your glass is empty. Have some more, girl, This is a party! "

Faith half fills her flute.

" Oh, c'mon, Faith. Don't be a poop. " Joyce takes the bottle, and fills Faith's glass. " There, that's much better!" She looks puzzled for a moment. " What was I talking about?"

" A toast?"

" Right you are. To Henry " can't keep it in his pants'" Summers. The Prick of the Year!"

They click glasses, and Joyce downs half of hers . Faith takes a few sips, then sets hers aside.

Joyce sighs loudly, and sets her glass aside. " Kinda making a fool of myself, aren't I?" She smiles ruefully.

" No, not at all, Joyce. I can get it. You're just dealing…"

" Ah, poor Buffy. She's going to take all of this the hardest. I know that already." Joyce leans in conspiratorially. " She's kinda the ' daddy's girl' if you know what I mean. She's not gonna like this one bit. And I know she's not gonna be quiet about it either."

" What about the other one?" Faith asks, " you said you had two daughters?"

" Oh yeah, my lil Dawnie. The baby. Surprisingly, I think she'll take it better than her older sister. Dawn acts a little bratty, but she's really a sweetie when you get to know her. And she's more balanced. Not saying Buffy's unbalanced. I mean mentally. Just … Dawn is more…"

" Mommy's girl?" Faith teases her.

" No, you might think that. She's the youngest, the baby. Ok, at 16? Not so much a baby anymore. And she is my punkin' belly, but don't _EVER_ told you I told you that one, ok?" Joyce cocks her head. " No, Dawn is pretty much her own person. Not favoring one over the other. Like I said, more balanced." She shrugs. Then she hiccups, and looks a little distressed. " Oh my. I've had waaay too much to drink."

" No, you haven't. Anyway, not like you got far to go. Upstairs is pretty close!"

" True enough," Joyce nods agreeably, and takes another drink of her champagne. Joyce cocks her head to the side, and stares at Faith.

Faith smiles, but inside feels Joyce's eyes seeming to stare into her mind. _God, I hope she can't see what I'm thinking. It'd scare her silly. Don't think she's ready yet for what's playing in my head._

" What're lookin' at, Joyce? Do I have something on my dress?" Faith looks down at herself.

" No…" Joyce smiles a little fuzzily. " Just wondering what's going on in that mind of yours, Faith. You've hardly even touched your champagne. What's the movie playing in that pretty head, eh?"

Faith can't get over the feeling that somehow Joyce can see right through her. _God, really can't let her see what's in here. Freak and run, far and I'll never see her again._

" Nothing's going on in here, Joyce. Just thinking about what you told me. As for the champagne? Well, I gotta bike, might not be the safest bet if I'm toasted."

" Oh my goodness, what time is it?" Joyce looks at her watch. " It's after 11. We've got to get you home. You've gotta work in the morning." Joyce seems to shake off some of the effects of the alcohol." I'm so sorry, been boring you silly with my life.

" Not at all, Joyce, loved every minute of it, " Faith smiles, all the time kicking herself. _Damn, what kinda idiot am I? Me and my big mouth!_

" C'mon, we better go, " Joyce stands up, and the alcohol hits her. " Whooo, me and champagne. Forgot how …" She shakes her head. She giggles a little. " I get really silly when I drink champagne." She pauses for a second, and looks around, puzzled. " What were we doing again?"

Faith smiles. _Silly really looks good on you, Joyce. You should try it more often._ " I think we were going upstairs?"

" Hmmm? Oh, right, " Joyce nods, and they exit the restaurant, and head for the lobby. " We? Oh, right. I forgot. You have your stuff up in my room." She looks at Faith, and smiles. " You don't wear dresses much, do you?"

" Uhhh… not really. Not lately, anyway," Faith looks at her. " How'd you know?"

" You looked a little uncomfortable tonight … and you forgot to adjust the skirt when you sat… little things…" She gives Faith the once over. " You really should you know."

" Should? What?"

" Wear dresses more often. You really look nice in that" Joyce nods.

" Really?" Faith briefly glances at herself as they wait for the elevator. " I thought I looked a little … well, chunky in it."

" Pfffft. That's silly, dear. You have nice curves. Maybe slightly higher heels for the leg, but really, you look very nice."

" Really? You think?" Faith smiles, showing her dimples, " Thanks !"

Faith feels like she's walking on air. Despite the fact that she's somewhat of a stunner, she, like a lot of girls, doesn't really believe how attractive she really is. To have Joyce tell that she looks very nice, gives her a little thrill on lots of levels.

They reach Joyce's door, and after a little search for her key card, they enter her suite. Faith grabs her leathers, and heads for the bathroom to change. When she comes out , she finds Joyce, still dressed, sitting on the bed. She looks a little dazed and out of sorts.

" Joyce, are you ok?"

" Hmmm? Oh, yes, I guess. I think it all just hit me." Joyce sits there, a slightly puzzled expression on her face. As if she didn't know what to do next.

" Yeah, look, hey. I'm kinda sorry. I know I gave you some of the grief . I kinda know I came on strong yesterday, but you really are one special lady, Joyce." Faith shrugs. " I want to get to know you better."

" Oh, don't apologize, Faith. Sure, I know we got off to an awkward start here, but you've actually been the good part of this buying trip so far, " Joyce smiles warmly, " I've really enjoyed our little ' date', " she laughs, trying to keep it light. " It's kind of the everything else that happened that's kind of throwing me, I guess. The divorce coming through, and Hank, and all." She laughs. " I'm just getting old. I probably just need a good night's sleep."

" You sure you're ok? I mean, if you need to talk, I can stay. It's cool."

" That's ok, I'm fine. Just need some think time."

" Uhhh… Ok, well, I guess I better motor then, " Faith heads for the door, a little confused. _Man, can't tell if she wants to see me again or not. God, I hope I didn't totally blow this. Wait, stop that thinking, Faith. She enjoyed herself, ok? Just chill. Don't get all ' gee, does she like me?' now, ok?_ . She makes the door, and opens it, turning. " Goodnight, Joyce. Sleep well."

" Goodnight, Faith, " Joyce smiles.

Faith leaves, closing the door gently behind her.

Joyce kicks off her shoes, and lays back on the bed, propping her head with her hands. She stares at the ceiling, going over everything that's happened since coming to Boston. A little smile comes on her face when she thinks how much she, despite her reservations, enjoyed tonight. Then she realizes that Faith didn't ask to see her again.

_Well, Joyce, you probably bored her to death. What did you expect? We're from two different worlds. Still, it would've been nice to be asked. I probably would've turned her down, but still…_

Sighing, she gets up to undress for bed.

5

Joyce is dreaming.

She's sitting in a park, familiar yet she can't quite remember where it is. She's enjoying the sunshine on her face, and closes her eyes. She's so busy these days, she hardly gets any time to herself. She closes her eyes, and leans back a little, lulled by the sound of children playing in the background. She smiles. It's nice just to be here.

A pair of hands cover her eyes, and her smile becomes broader.

" Did you miss me?" A familiar voice says.

" You've been gone a long time. Did you get lost?"

" Nope. Just wanted to give you some time. So you'd be sure. Are you sure?"

" I don't know…" Joyce says truthfully.

The hands disappear from her eyes, and Joyce looks up to see Faith looking down at her.

Faith's hair frames her face like a mane, and the sun highlights the edges, making it seem to glow. She's smiling softly.

Joyce feels a little dazzled. She watches quietly as Faith leans over, her face moving closer to hers.

" I know this all seems strange to you, Joyce. I don't want to freak you."

" You're not, " Joyce swallows hard, " I'm… this is so new."

Faith's eyes seem to go soft, in sympathy. " I know… but you know I wouldn't hurt you, don't you?" I really do care about you. Can't you see that?"

" Y-Yes," Joyce admits, " but I don't know how I feel about you…"

" I understand," Faith leans closer, her hair brushing Joyce's shoulders. Her hand reaches out, and lightly touches Joyce's face. " Maybe you should get that?"

Joyce's eyes open to the sound of her room's phone buzzing. She picks it up.

" Hello?" She says, her voice full of sleep.

" Hey…. Oh gosh, I didn't wake you, did I?" Faith asks, concerned.

" No, no… " Joyce looks at the travel clock on her nightstand. _Oh my goodness, it's eleven-thirty in the morning!_

_This is too strange! _Joyce thinks, remembering her dream. _Too strange!_

" Ummm… hey, I didn't get a chance to ask you last night. You seemed kinda beat. But I was thinking, if you're free today, I'd kinda like to take you around Southie. Show you the sights…"

" Aren't you… I mean, weren't you supposed to be working today?"

" Half day on Saturday, Joyce. So I'm kinda free now."

" You sure, Faith ? I don't want you to get into trouble or anything…"

" Joyce, I'm not lying here, I only work half days. And, bonus, I get to squire a beautiful woman around the neighborhood."

Joyce blushes, and remembers her dream, and feels just a little strange about all of this.

" Faith, it's sweet of you to offer, but really I think maybe it just a little much? I mean, lunch yesterday and dinner last night and now you want to spend your Saturday with some old gal that just blew into town? Shouldn't you be hanging out with your friends or something?"

" You don't want to?" Joyce can hear the slight hurt in Faith's voice. _Nice, Joyce, really nice._ " I mean, didn't we have a nice time last night? I know I did!"

"Yes, I had a lovely time, Faith," Joyce assures her, " you were the perfect dinner companion."

" Well, great! But, I sorta thought we were friends now, aren't we? Don't you like me?"

" Of course I do, " Joyce chuckles nervously.

" Well, then, can't I as a friend show you, my friend, Boston? Don't friends do that kind of thing?"

Joyce pulls the phone away from her ear, and looks at it , as if it were betraying her here. She can't argue with Faith's logic, and finds herself painted into the corner.

" Yes, I guess they do," Joyce says, agreeably." So, when?"

" Now."

" Now?"

There's a knock at Joyce's door.

" Hold on a second, someone's at the door."

Joyce pulls on a robe, and walks to the door, opening it.

Faith is standing there, holding a bunch of flowers in one hand, and her cell phone is in the other. She smiles.

" Good morning!" Faith smiles, handing Joyce the flowers. " Got you these."

" Faith!" Joyce blushes, and takes the flowers and looks a little flustered. " There very nice." She notes a card attached, saying, ' Had a wonderful time last night, Faith.' " That's so… sweet." She brings the flowers to her nose and smells them. " They're lovely. But… oh god, I must look horrible!" Instinctively, she touches her hair, and groans softly. " Oh goodness…"

" You look great, Joyce," Faith smiles, then frowns. " But I did wake you, didn't I? I'm really sorry. I thought you'd be up by now."

" Normally I am. Usually, I'm up early. I don't know why I slept so long…". Joyce is getting more flustered by the second.

" Don't stress it , Joyce. You're on vacation. No kids with and all. You got a right to sleep in some, you know? My bad, I should've figured." She leans against the doorjamb, giving Joyce a frankly appraising look. She smiles. "So, what about my proposal? Sound good?"

Joyce is getting flustered again, for different reasons. _Why do I have the feeling she can see right through my robe?_

" Well, I can't argue with your reasoning. At least, not before having some coffee. So , meet me downstairs in the coffee bar say…" She looks at her clock " 45 minutes?" She sees Faith's look. " takes longer for us older girls, you know?"

Faith frowns, a little dark cloud seeming to form over her brow.

" What?" Joyce asks, a little worried.

" That's twice now you've done that. Called yourself old. "Faith gives her a look. " Do you like feel old or something?"

" No…" Joyce shakes her head, ' Frankly, I feel pretty much like I did when I was 22 or so…" _Except then I already had Buffy, Dawn on the way, and was married nearly 3 years. Yikes! And some strange girl wasn't making me feel like part of the pimple set, again!_

" Ok, so why make with the old references? I don't think you're old. Why should you?"

" You're sweet, Faith. But wait 'til you get my age. Then talk to me about it, ok?"

Faith has more to say, but decides to bite it back.

" Ok, dokey, " She says, " see ya downstairs in awhile. Dress casual, ok?" She heaves herself off the doorjamb, winks and smiles. " Don't be too long, gorgeous." She walks off.

Joyce, looking a little worried, watches her walk off.

_She just never lets up, does she?_

Strangely, Joyce is beginning to like that.

She closes the door.

Joyce takes a little extra care with the grooming, adding little touches she hasn't used in years; paying attention to things she normally lets slide.

_What're you doing, Joyce? _Yet, she kept doing it, and finally, after taking 15 minutes to decide what to wear, heads out of the room. Before leaving she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She's wearing jeans, a pair of soft boots, a powder blue blouse and small gold chain on her neck. She smiles.

" Not too bad for an old broad, " She laughs, and leaves.

6

Joyce finds Faith sitting at the coffee bar, staring at her cup of coffee.

She holds off going up to her, looking at her for a moment. She's puzzled. The girl is obviously a looker, and from being with her the last couple of days, she realizes she's clever, smart and charming. She could obviously be with whomever she wanted, boy or girl.

_Why me? Why is she latching on to me? It doesn't make any sense._

_Joyce? What're you even thinking? Ok, she's a flirty girl. I think she does it naturally as breathing. But that doesn't mean she's interested in you… and anyway, you don't do that. So, get over it._

_But why is she spending all this time with me? Friends, family, all the rest of it… why isn't she with them?_

_Why do you have to analyze everything, Joyce. The big part of analyze is anal, Joyce. Just relax, ok? She wants to be here, you're not holding a gun on her. And hey, she's been nothing but nice. So stop!_

" Hi, good morning. Now I feel less frumpy, " Joyce calls out, walking up to Faith. _Why'd you say that last?_

Faith turns, and Joyce sees her light up.

" Well, hey. You look great," Faith smiles. _And just a lil yummy_. " So, what can I get you, coffee wise?"

" Just coffee, coffee. Don't really go for the designer drinks they call coffee these days." Joyce says.

Faith orders the coffee.

" So, you ready to check out South Boston, Joyce? Might find ya like it. First, though, we gotta get some food in that tummy. And I know just the place."

" Really?"

" Yeah, we gotta go to Poppa Joe's, down on Dorchester St. Won't find it in Zagat's guide, but it's the best food anywhere, trust me. Then I'm gonna show you around."

" Okay, sounds like fun," Joyce says. " Lead on McDuff." She looks at her clothing . " This will be ok on the bike, right?"

" Bike?" Faith looks at her , cocking her head, " I got ' hold of my brother Paulie's car. Did ya think I was gonna pick you up on the bike?"

" Well, it's just that you didn't have a car last night…"

" That was last night. I got hold of Paulie and beat him up. After that, he was happy to give me the car," She grins.

" Faith, you didn't really…"

" Kidding Joyce. You haven't met Paulie. You'd know I couldn't beat him up. Make his life hell, sure, but not beat him up, " She laughs. " Come on, this is gonna be fun." She starts towards the exit.

_I don't doubt it._ Joyce thinks as she follows her out.

7

They spent the afternoon driving around South Boston. Faith pointed out some locations for " Good Will Hunting" Including Woody's L. Street Bar, The courthouse, E. 5th street. Then she got more personal, showing her around her neighborhood, showing the places she liked to hang out, where her parents lived, where she was living now, the community center.

They wind up at a small bar on 6th street, Faith pulling over to the curb and squeezing the car into a space Joyce would've sworn was too small. Getting out of the car, Joyce looks around.

" So, where's this?"

" Oh, this is Jake's. Old bar been here a long time. I want you to meet someone , and he should be here by now."

Faith takes her arm, and starts to lead her inside.

" Who am I meeting?"

" Paulie, the provider of our transportation for today, " Faith grins, " and probably the only family member still speaking to me."

" I don't get that . You said that before. You're family's not speaking to you?"

" Ah, well… this is Southie, Joyce. Race riots in the seventies, now it's the thing about Gays marching in the St. Paddy's day parade. This crowd isn't big on someone who's … different." Faith smirks, her lips tight. " Let's just say my dear ma and da aren't' really happy I compete with my brothers for dates."

" Oh, " Joyce replies, " They don't like it you're gay."

" Well, they're not so polite about it, but ya." Faith nods, " when I hit 18, and pretty much didn't change my mind about dating, they pretty much kicked my ass to the curb. Said when I got over my ' unnatural' ways, I could come home."

" That's terrible!" Joyce sympathizes, " I mean… I'd never do that with a daughter of mine." _God, what kind of people are these?_

" Well, they're old fashioned, Joyce. Irish Catholics. They just don't get that their only daughter is a lesbian. Kinda against what they know. I think they think it's a rebellion thing." Faith shrugs, " Anyway, I guess I'm over-exaggerating. I mean, if I go by and say hi, they'll say hi back. Just I don't get invited to the family stuff anymore. Anyway, my brothers, Bobby and Jimmy, kinda go along with them. Only Paulie sticks by me. Which lands him in some hot water. But he's cool about it." Faith looks at her watch. " And he should be here by now. Unless the sun stopped rising in the east, or somethin'."

They enter the bar. It's reminiscent of a lot of small taverns that dot the east coast. Small, dark, a long bar dominating one side of the space, the other taken up by small booths or tables. Plenty of neon signs heralding the quality of the product they endorse. In the back is a pool table, and a small curtained off area known as the back room.

The barman/ owner is Jake McConnell. In his mid fifties, he has graying black hair, a nice open face, and a ready smile. He's not particularly tall, 5' 8", but his body is well muscled, testifying to years of hard work.

" Well, if it isn't little Faith Lehane," Jake says, sounding a little gruff, but he's smiling. " Been a long time since we've seen you around here, girl. We thought with that new fancy job of yours at the museum, you were just too hoity-toity for old Jake's." He turns, and turns on the charm to Joyce. " So, who's the looker, Faith? Gonna introduce me?"

" Joyce, this old fraud is Jake McConnell, owner of Jakes. And don't let him fool you, I was in here last week with Paulie to watch the Pat's play New York. So get out with the ' snooty' stuff, you dog!" She grins at Jake with obvious affection. " This is Joyce Summers, by the way."

" Well, Joyce Summers, any friend of Faith's? Has to have a screw loose, but that's the kind we love here, " He winks at Joyce. He turns to Faith, " So, I'm thinking you're here to see that no good lout of a brother of yours?"

"Are you still angry with Paulie for taking a double sawbuck off you in a pool game? Get over it, Jake. You know he drops more than that here in a couple of days."

" It's the principle of the thing, Faith. He cheated."

" Jake McConnell, are you callin' me a cheat? You lousy Mick, maybe if you learned the right end of a pool cue, you could actually win a game once in awhile, " A large man, not much older than Faith, leans on the bar at the other end. " Doubt it, but miracles _do _happen."

" Paulie Lehane, I should kick your Irish ass outta my bar, but I feel sorry for your poor parents. What would they do, knowing their boy's a cheat and a thief?" Jake shakes his head, sadly, " tis a burden, indeed, on your ma and da, you being the kind of fella you are, Paulie."

" Jake, I should come over there and bloody your bulbous nose for that, " Paulie says, smiling broadly," but I've been taught never to roughhouse in front of a lady." He walks over to Faith and Joyce.

" Are they really mad at each other?"

" Naw, they do this all the time. I can't remember when they've been treated each other different." Faith nods at Jake, " he's an old family friend. He'd do anything for Paulie, or any of us, an vice versa," She calls out to Jake, " Aint that so, you old blowhard?"

" Faith Lehane, where were you when god was handin' out the manners, girl? Is that any way to talk to your elders?"

" Oh, I treat my elders just fine," Faith smiles, " At least, the ones that aren't senile."

" Now, Faith, " Paulie Lehane says," Jake isn't senile. He waters his beer, jacks up the prices, and can't hit a cue ball to save his life, but he's not senile."

" Can you believe these two, miss? You'd think I didn't stand them godfather when they were baptized. Can't tell ya how many times I changed diapers on the both of them. And they treat me like that? What's this world coming to?" He sighs. " I tell you, this kids just have no respect for nothing these days."

Joyce laughs, and puts out her hand. " It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. McConnell, and call me Joyce."

" Ah, only if you call me Jake, darlin', " Jake winks. " Not too often we get a classy lady in the old joint here."

" Jake it is, then, " Joyce smiles, and blushes just a little.

" See now, Faith Lehane. There's a real lady. Why don't you try to be more like your friend here? Instead of a smart mouth ?" He turns to Joyce, all smiles, " So, what can I get you, Joyce?"

" A beer would be nice, " Joyce says.

" I could use a beer too, Jake," Faith calls out.

" You could do to be 21 first, Faith, " Jake smiles at her. " I'm thinking a coke would do you just fine."

" Who died and made you me da, Jake McConnell?" Faith grumbles.

" The State of Massachusetts, girl. You know the law, and I know how old you are… so until you're 21, coke it is for you." He turns to Paulie, " I suppose you'll be wanting something too, boyo?"

" Another one of those glasses of piss you call beer would do, Jake," Paulie grins.

" See what I mean, Joyce? No respect." He shakes his head, and goes to get the beer.

" C'mon, Paulie. Let's sit down before all that Irish whiskey and blarney stone breath knocks us down, " Faith says, leading Joyce to one of the tables. Paulie follows up, with their drinks.

"So, I'm taking this is the infamous Joyce my sister has been talking my ear off the last few days about, " Paulie puts down the drinks, and puts out a hand. " I'm Paulie Lehane. And for whatever my sister might have done, I apologize," Paulie grins at Faith, who sticks her tongue out at him. " She's so mature, I'm sure you've noticed."

" Yeah, well, don't listen to him, Joyce. Paulie acts like he's my da, but he's the prankster in the family. And hey, if you keep it up, Paulie, I'm gonna tell Jake how you ' won' that game of pool."

" Sure, go ahead, Faith. You do that. And while you're doing that, I'll discuss your school career with your friend here. I'm sure she'd love to know how you took out the girl's bathroom at South Boston High in your junior year."

" Don't listen to him, Joyce. Poor Paulie is soft in the head. It came when that beam hit him on the construction job. Now all he does is babble nonsense all day long."

" Is that a fact? Well, I guess I could tell her how you tried to jump barrels one time buck naked…"

" Actually, she already told me about that, " Joyce speaks up.

Paulie looks surprised.

" Really? She must like you, " Paulie says, " she usually doesn't mention that little story. Afraid she'll scare 'em off. She likes to pretend to be good and everything, but she can be quite the hellion." He turns to Joyce, and leans in, " So, what's your story, Joyce? I like to know something about the women dating my sister."

" Paulie!" Faith shushes him, " ignore him, Joyce. Like I said, Paulie thinks he's my da, and it's kinda tiresome!" She glares at Paulie.

" Really, Paulie, Faith and I are just friends. She's been kind enough to show me some of Boston while I'm in town…". _What's she been telling him, anyway?_

Paulie Lehane leans back in his chair, and looks at the two of them. He grins.

" Is that a fact, Joyce?" Paulie asks, " Don't you find it rather odd, though? I mean, a girl half your age hanging around with you? It's not like you knew each other before. Don't you think something's going on?"

Joyce suddenly feels very uncomfortable here. She looks at Faith, who looks like she's going to burst a blood vessel, then back at Paulie.

" As far as I know, nothing except friendship is going on," Joyce says, her tone growing a little frosty. " Faith, perhaps I should wait outside for you?" She stands, and turning towards the entrance of the bar, starts to leave. She stops, and turns back. " I wish I could say it was a pleasure to meet you." She turns, and walks out.

" Paulie, what the hell was _that?_ " Faith looks at him, about ready to attack. " Why'd you say that?"

" Faith, think about it. What's she doing hanging with you? What does she want, anyway?" He looks at the door where Joyce just left, " don't you think it's odd she's hanging around with you? You're half her age." He turns to Faith. " What do you two have in common?"

" Right now? Thinking that you're one rude son of a bitch!"

" Don't you call our mother that, Faith!"

" I'm not. I'm calling you that, Paulie Lehane. I thought you were in my corner, but I'm beginning to see you're no better than the others."

" I'm just looking out for you, Faith. I know what a softie you can be, despite the tough act. I don't want to see you get hurt!"

" Bullshit, Paulie. You're just another Mick bigot like ma and da. I thought you were different, but Boyo, I was wrong. You're worse than them. At least, they were honest about it." She points at the door, " that lady has more class in her little finger than you'll ever have, Paul Aloysius Lehane! She's just a friend, a better friend than I seem to have in my own family. God, she doesn't judge me like my own family does," Faith moves away, " God, what family? You people…" She shakes her head, "… I'm done with ya… the whole lot of ya." She starts to leave.

" Faith, you're being a fool. She's using you!" Paulie calls after you. " I don't want you to break your heart over this … woman."

"Screw you, Paulie," Faith spits at him, " You don't gotta clue."

She turns and leaves before he can say another thing.

Paulie just shakes his head.

_Aw, Faith. You forget so easily. I've been there when your heart's been shattered before. I know too well._

He takes a long pull off his beer.

Faith almost flies out of the bar, to find Joyce leaning against the car. She grins apologetically.

" God, Joyce, I'm so sorry. I didn't know he was going to be such a dick. I really didn't know he… ah, dammit. There's no excuse for what he said. He's just a moron."

" Faith, he's your brother. He's just looking out for you, " Joyce says, trying to smooth it over.

" Dammit, Joyce, don't be so reasonable. He was an asshole. He had no right to say those things, even suggest those things. He doesn't know you."

" Do you know me, Faith?" Joyce asks quietly. " Really?"

" What's that supposed to mean, Joyce? Now you're sounding like Paulie."

" How do you know I'm not playing you, Faith?"

" Gimme a break, Joyce! I'm a poor kid from Southie. Shit, I don't even have a decent car. What the hell could you want that I got?"

" It's not all about things, Faith, " Joyce says gently, " maybe I just want to use you and forget you."

The car pulls up suddenly. Faith turns to Joyce.

" Listen to me, Joyce. I know you think I'm just some dumb kid. But believe me, I'm not. Ok? I know people. I know 'em good enough not to get myself hurt, get me? I can read people pretty damned good." She leans over to Joyce. " I can read you pretty good. Joyce Summers. You wouldn't hurt me. You're not built like that. If anyone in this car should be careful, maybe it's you!"

" I'm not a fool, either, Faith, " Joyce looks away, " I don't think you'd hurt me, either." She sighs. " Maybe we should just call it a night. It was good up til now, and I don't want it to get bad."

The cars behind them start honking. Faith leans out the window, waving to them.

" Come around you idiots!"

Horns keep blaring as the drivers start to go around her.

" Is that what you want?" She turns back to Joyce.

" I think I want a drink," Joyce murmurs.

Faith puts the car in gear, and peels out, swerving to avoid a car that nearly sideswipes her. Joyce braces herself.

" Slow down, Faith!"

" Sorry. Look, I know a club I go to… not in South Boston, " She says, emphasizing the last. " I'd like to go there. Mind coming with?"

" I dunno, Faith…"

" I promise, it's not stocked with a bunch of jerks." She turns to Joyce. " Please. I don't want that stupid ass I call a brother to ruin it for us, ok?"

" Faith, maybe it's just not a good idea. I mean, you hanging out with me…"

Faith swerves the car over to the curb, parking. Joyce looks at her, her face a little pale.

" Faith, do you think you could warn me when you do that? I think l left my stomach back in traffic."

" Joyce, I'm not gonna apologize for what I am. I'm a lesbian, that's clear as day, right?"

" Yes," Joyce says quietly.

" And I'm not gonna apologize cuz I like you, either, ok?" She leans towards Joyce. " Do you like me?" She sees Joyce hesitate," I mean, like a friend?"

" Yes, I do, " Joyce says, without hesitation.

" Have I tried to come on to you? I mean, really? Yeah, I flirt a little, but I haven't tried to force myself on you, have I?"

" No, of course not, " Joyce says. " I'll admit, at first, I was little put off by you, but I'm realizing, this is just you."

" Cool beans. So, look, I like spending time with you, " Faith says, " how 'bout you? Do you enjoy spending time with me?"

Joyce looks into her face, and hesitates just a moment.

" Yes, I do. I like spending time with you."

" Really?"

" Yes, really, " Joyce says, decidedly.

" Good. Then lets not let assholes ruin that, ok?"

Joyce nods," Ok, So where we going?"

Faith smiles, and pulls out from the curb. She gets into traffic.

" A little place I know called the Metropolitan."

8

" This looks nice, " Joyce says, as they approach the club entrance.

" It is, " Faith agrees, " and I promise, no morons like in Jakes."

" Faith, don't get too harsh with your brother. He was kind of stupid about it, but he was trying to protect you."

" Joyce, you're not mad at him? He insulted you!"

" Faith? Didn't we agree? We're not going to let it ruin the rest of the evening, right?"

" Right, " Faith smiles.

" So, what kind of club is this, Faith?"

" Kind?" Faith hesitates. _Maybe this isn't a good idea._" I'm not sure I understand what you mean, Joyce."

" Well, I mean, is it like… what? Rock and Roll? Or well…you know, what kind of music? I'm not real into hip-hop… is that right?… "

" It's dance music, but don't worry. No gangsta rap." Faith grins. " It's pretty mellow."

" Hi, ladies, welcome to Cosmopolitan, " The girl at the door greets them. " ID, please," she says to Faith.

Faith pulls out an ID and shows it to the girl. The girl looks at it, at Faith, then smiles. She hands it back. Faith hands her the cover charge, and they enter.

" Can I see that?" Joyce asks, holding out her hand.

"What?" Faith smiles." It's a fake ID. Everyone's got them, Joyce."

" You know, as a mom? That really conflicts me, " Joyce says, " I can just imagine Buffy pulling out an ID like that and… darn, now I've got to worry about that, too!" She sighs," Is there anything else I should know?"

Faith smiles weakly.

" Yeah, I know. There's a code. I got it, " Joyce sighs." So…" she looks around, and frowns a little bit." Faith, something's a little strange here."

" Oh?" Faith pretends to not understand.

" I know I've been out of circulation for awhile. But, where are the guys?" Joyce looks around, again. Then it hits her. " Oh."

" Guess I should've told you this is a lesbian club?" Faith offers up another weak smile. " Do you mind?"

" Well, It would've been nice to know, " Joyce looks at Faith. " I'm with you, right? I mean, no one will come up and hit on me, since I'm with you?"

" Well, I can't absolutely guarantee that, Joyce. I mean, you are attractive," Faith says, " but if you say you're not interested, they'll go away." She smiles. " no one will force you to do anything weird, believe me. And, it's not catching. Promise." She teases Joyce.

" I know, Faith. Not a fool, ok? I read Cosmo."

" Sorry, sure…I got that," Faith frowns." If you want, we can go."

" No, we're here now." Joyce says, " and I admit, I'm kind of curious. Never been to a place like this."

" It's just a club, Joyce. Only, no guys to hassle you."

Joyce thinks back on the last few encounters she's had with the male persuasion. _Right now, that's not sounding so bad._

" Well, guess we best find a table, hadn't we?"

Joyce moves into the club, looking around for a free table.

Faith hangs back, a little smile on her face.

_How does she keep surprising me like that?_

Shrugging, she follows after.

9

Faith and Joyce get out of the elevator , and walk to Joyce's door. They stand there a moment. Neither of them is really anxious for the evening to end.

" I really had a nice time tonight, Faith, " Joyce speaks up, " I haven't been out dancing in … gosh, forever. It was nice."

" Well, gotta say, Joyce. You're a heck of a dancer. Those were some pretty cool moves you pulled."

" You're being nice, " Joyce smiles," I hope I didn't embarrass you too much."

" Are you kidding? Everybody noticed you, girl. And not in a bad way."

" I bet you say that to all the old broads you go dancing with," Joyce teases her, then throws up her hands. " I'm just kidding, Faith."

Faith makes an impatient noise, but lets it slide.

" I'm really sorry ' bout that jerk of a brother of mine. He's a total jackass."

" Faith? Let it go, ok? I have." Joyce smiles. " I had a really nice time," She takes Faith's hand.

They look at each other for a moment, then something happens.

Almost as if being drawn together by a force greater than either of them, their head draw closer and closer. Their lips touch, briefly. Then they draw away.

" Well, goodnight, Faith," Joyce says, opening her door. She slips through it," Be careful getting home, ok?"

Faith nods. She's not sure exactly what just happened.

" Goodnight," She gets out, somehow.

Joyce smiles, and closes the door.

Faith stands for a moment, looking at the door, a silly little smile on her face.

Then she turns, and with a jaunty little swagger in her walk, she moves towards the elevators.

To be continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: See previous chapters.

Change of seasons, Part 3

1

" 83 Charing Cross Way, " Joyce tells the cabbie as she enters the cab.

Joyce watches the scenery go by as the cab makes it's way to Faith's address. But her mind is a million miles away.

She's feeling guilty.

She should be in New York. That's the agenda. She planned on being there already.

Instead, she called her Aunt, and told her that she was going to be delayed in Boston. There was an art auction at the end of the week she didn't want to miss. And then she'd be going to New York after. Could she keep Buffy and Dawn an extra week?

She lied. She hates lying. Yet, she lied as glibly as Hank all those times when he told her he was working late. Or had a business conference out of town.

_Ok, so I'm not perfect. I want to spend some more time with Faith. We're having fun. Geeze, I've been wife and mom and business woman for the last 20 years. Can't remember when I had a _real _vacation. Had some real fun. What's the harm?_

_What about Faith? What is she doing, spending all her time with you? Doesn't she have friends or family or a life? Why is a girl half your age hanging out with you, Joyce? Unless she's thinking there's more here than there is._

_That's stupid. I told her upfront, this is just fun. Nothing more. She knows that._

_Right, and feelings are so easily kept in little boxes, all safe and clean and tidy._

_I'm not her mom. I'm not responsible for her. She's an adult._

_She's almost Buffy's age. What if Buffy came home with someone twice her age? Would you think that?_

_She's a lot more mature than Buffy. She knows the score._

_Bullshit. And you're lying about what you're feeling too. She wants more, and you want more. Be honest, at least with yourself. Ok?_

_No, that's not true. It's just fun, that's all we're doing here. Having some fun. When I leave for New York, it's done. She knows that. I know that too._

_Right. Nice, Joyce. Play with her, then throw her away. Disposable friend. And if you break her heart?_

_I told her, it's all just casual. I didn't say or imply anything else._

_You kissed her._

_Just a friendly kiss. It meant nothing. A thank you kiss for a nice time. Nothing more than that._

_And if she thought it was more?_

_Not my fault!_

_Right. And what happens if you find after you leave, you wanted more? What happens if your heart breaks?_

_Not going to happen. Can't happen. I have a family and responsibilities. That's all there is to it. This is just now, and when I leave it's over._

_So cold, Joyce. So very cold._

Joyce looks out, trying to distract herself from her inner conflict.

She sees a South Boston in transition. While there are still too many examples of the 'reputed' neighborhood, with it's dilapidated storefronts and narrow row houses, Joyce can see that the area has come alive, making changes befitting an alive and vibrant community.

The area they turn into, for instance, shows the touch of a neighborhood that cares. The row houses have seen renovations recently, with fresh paint and repairs to the exteriors. The lawns, though tiny, are neat and well groomed. There's evidence of a renewal project ongoing, with trees and flowers and green areas being added to the cement and brickwork.

The streets are neat, and kept clean of debris. It shows the people living here take pride in their surroundings.

" First time in South Boston, ma'am?"

" Pretty much, yes," Joyce looks around like a tourist, " wasn't sure what to expect."

" Ah, yes, Southie has a bit of a reputation. We're working to change that, " the cabbie says. " My names Farley, by the way, and I live not too far from here."

" Joyce Summers. Nice to meet you Farley." Joyce smiles. "Everything looks so clean."

" AH, well, this is a nice neighborhood with working class folk. Not like some parts, where they all run wild. Nice Irish Catholic folk here. We like to keep it nice." He pulls the cab over a curb fronting what looks for all the world like a village green. " We're here."

" I'm sorry?" She looks out at the square. " I thought this would be a residence." She looks confused.

" Ah, no this is the square for Charing Cross, ma'am. They've closed off the residential streets to automobile traffic. Makes it safer for the kids, don't you know?"

" Oh, I see, " Joyce smiles. " So, where is Charing Cross way, then?"

" Oh, it's not far from here. Just follow the sidewalk around the green. Do you see the Chapel over there, on the left?"

" Yes, I do."

" Once you get there, you'll see a road. That's Hampton Lane. Just follow that down, bearing to the left. Charing Cross is the third street down. You can't miss it."

" Thank you," Joyce says, getting out of the cab. She pays him, giving him a good tip. Farley smiles broadly.

" Thank you, Joyce," he nods, handing her a card." If you be needing a ride later, you give that number a call. I'll make sure you make it back to your hotel ok."

" Thanks again, Farley," Joyce says, and the cab departs.

Joyce makes her way about the green, following the path the Chapel. She notes that the business and houses here look particularly well kept, and while there is nothing ' new' here, everything has a sense of cleanliness and order. This appeals to her. _I was a little worried, meeting her down in her neighborhood. I can see I was a little foolish._

She comes to the chapel, and notes a plaque stating the church is 150 years old, one of the first in the area. She smiles, loving the feel of the place, and the atmosphere of being in a bit of history. _History in California means if it's over 20 years, it's a classic, and over 40, a relic._ She stands a moment, just taking it in. Or dawdling.

She briefly wonders if maybe she hasn't made a mistake. She's still conflicted on where this is going, and thinks it might be better if she just found a phone and called to have Farley pick her back up and go back to the hotel. End this now, before it gets too bad. Too serious.

She turns, looking around, debating with herself.

_I can't just not show up. That's rude and cowardly. I'll do this, and end it at the end of the date. Tell her it's been fun, but I've got to get to New York, and back home._

_Uh-huh._

_I will. _

There's silence from the ' other side'.

_What?_

_You're not going to end it. You're going to go on, and someone's going to get hurt. Probably Faith, possibly you, maybe the both of you. And you know that, and I'm tired of trying to get you to do the right thing, because you'll say anything and do what you want, anyway. You should leave now, cut it quick, and cleanly, and let her go. But you're not going to. And it's going to be a big fat mess. Nice work, Joyce!_

_Be quiet! I don't want to hear it anymore._

_You're not going to._

" Hey, can I help you, ma'am?" An older gentleman, out for a walk, stops by Joyce.

" I'm sorry?" Joyce says, coming out of her reverie. " Oh, no. I'm just looking for Charing Cross way. The cabbie said it was around here somewhere."

" You're very close. It's just down this street here, " the man points down the street. " Just walk down three blocks. That's Charing Cross Way. What address, if I can ask?"

" 83 Charing Cross way."

" Ah, ok, when you get to Charing Cross, make a right then. It'll be on your right hand side. You can't miss it."

" Thank you," Joyce says, as the man touches his hat and continues on his way.

A few minutes later, Joyce reaches Charing Cross way, and as the man directed, turns right and continues down the street. She reaches 83, and turning, goes up the stoop.

Joyce reaches Faith's door, and knocks. She waits for awhile, and then knocks again. Her brow furrows. She looks at her watch, and confirms the time. She knocks a third time.

" Faith? Are you in there? It's Joyce." She knocks again

_Did she forget about our date?_

Joyce can't believe how much it hurts, all of a sudden.

_Not so much fun when it's you, huh, Joyce?_

_Shut up!_

Frowning, she starts down the stoop, and hitting the street, starts back towards Hampton Lane.

_I hope she's all right. So strange, she seemed so up for the date._

A voice, pleasant with an Irish lilt, interrupts her thoughts and stops her progress.

"Hello there!" A pleasant looking woman, a little older than Joyce comes running down the stoop of the Row house next to Faith's. " Are you Joyce, by chance?"

" Yes, that's me, " Joyce agrees.

" Ah, yes, you're just as Faith described you. Hi, I'm Patty Malloy, Faith's neighbor. She said you'd be coming by."

Joyce meets Patty on the street. She offers Patty her hand.

" Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Malloy, " Joyce says, noticing the ring on Patty's left hand.

" Ah, no. That's Miss Malloy, actually. Used to be Mrs. O'Hearne, before my Sean died. Had the cancer, you know."

" Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible," Joyce sympathizes.

" Ah, well," Patty sighs, " Loved the big galoot dearly, but he had a head made of rock. Smoked too many cigarettes, he did. I tried to get him to quit, but he always said smoking was he one thing he could do well, without the police getting after him," Patty laughs. " He was a character, was Sean O'Hearne." She smiles nostalgically. " but he was a good provider. We've been living off the pension his company had for him. I do some cleaning and sewing as side work, to bring in some extra money." Patty shakes her head, and laughs. " Will you listen to me go on! Sean always said I was the gabby one. I guess he was right!"

" Oh, that's just fine," Joyce laughs along with her.

Patty is just one of those people. She makes you feel like you've known her all her life, even if you've just met her.

" I take it you're a friend of Faith's?" Joyce asks, continuing.

" Oh yes. She asked me to look out for you. She's down at the community center again. That girl spends a lot of free time down there, doing this and that. I think she's taking some classes, too. Trying to improve herself, she says. I say, if you look like that girl, how much improving do you need?" Patty chuckles. " She's an ambitious one. Wants to go to college. Can you imagine?"

" She never mentioned that to me, " Joyce says, a little surprised. _Well, there's a lot more to Faith than good times, I see._

" Oh yes. She was a little wild when she was younger, but these days, all the kids are that way. I swear, sometimes, I just don't know what my own will turn out like," Patty shakes her head. " They seem so aimless. Like they expect the world to be handed to them on a sliver platter when they're done with school. Kids," She shrugs.

" I know what you mean. I have two daughters myself. I sometimes wonder about them."

" See, that's why you just got to love Faith. She's really trying to put her ' wild days' behind her, and make something of herself. She's something, that one. She's gonna do it to , you mark my words." Patty laughs again. " There I go, bending your ear right off. Anyway, I'm to tell you that Faith's at the community center, and she was wondering if you could meet her there?"

"Sure, thanks," Joyce looks around, confused. " Where is the community center, anyway?"

" Oh yeah, you don't know. Where's my mind?" Patty slaps her forehead with her palm. " It's really close. Look, did you come in through the green?"

" Yes."

" Ok, then, you must've seen the Catholic Chapel? Right?"

" Yes, it's very pretty."

" Oh yeah, old too. Been around for a long time. Me and Sean and the kids used to go all the time, " Patty says, nodding. " Ah, but after Sean passed away, I sort of lost interest. And now, with all the stuff going on with the church! It's terrible, terrible. Who would've thought priests could do such an awful thing."

" Yes, it's terrible. Those poor children, " Joyce nods.

They're quiet for a few moments.

" Ummm… so you were telling me how to get to the community center?"

" What? Oh my, I get so silly sometimes. Yes, of course. Right across the square from the Chapel is the community center. Large brick building. Can't miss it."

" It must be getting late. Do you think it's still open?"

" Hmmm. Oh, let me see, " Patty consults her watch. " It's 7:30 now. Sure, the center stays open til nine. You've got plenty of time," She smiles.

" Well, thank you again, Miss Malloy…"

" Oh, please, call me Patty. I feel so old when people get all formal on me."

" Well, Patty, it's been a pleasure to meet you," Joyce says.

" You too, Joyce. Don't be a stranger now. Drop by anytime, maybe for coffee and a talk," Patty smiles, going up her stoop.

Joyce waves, and starts down the block.

As Joyce turns the corner on Hampton Lane, she grins a little bit.

_See? She's making something of herself. She's not looking to me for anything but a good time._

_Sure, Joyce, just keep telling yourself that. Nice way to ease your conscience._

_You're a real nag, you know that?_

Joyce hurries down the street.

2

Faith looks at the easel before her, frowning. She looks at the subject she's painting, then back at her painting on the easel.

_Something's not right, but I can't figure what I'm doing wrong._ She stares at the model, then back down at the painting. Mixing a color, daubing it on the easel, she moves back, still not satisfied.

_Damn, something's off, but I can't quite tell what._ She shrugs.

" How's it looking?" the model, a young girl about Faith's age, with long flowing black curls and wide blue eyes. " So, did you make me look hot?"

" Braden, you know you look 'hot', that's never been something you ever doubted."

" Yeah, but do I look hot in your picture? I want Jimmy to be droolin' over me, you know," Braden grins. " When he sees that, I want him aching for the real thing, you know?"

To demonstrate, she cups her breasts and lifts them. She sticks out her tongue, playfully.

" So what you think? Sexy?"

Faith looks at her and laughs. She looks at the nude study on the canvas, and smirks.

" Don't worry, Jimmy'll be wetting himself when I'm done here. Still a few things I need to fix, but it's comin' along just great."

" I wanna see!" Braden gets up from the couch where she's been reclining, and walks toward Faith.

" Get back there, Braden, or we're never going to get this done." Faith waves her back towards the lounger.

" Hey, I'm paying for this, Faith. I've got a right to see it, " Braden pouts. She stands there, naked, hands on hips.

_And of course, she knows she's just cute as hell like that, _Faith smirks, shaking her head.

" Don't you know? All the great artists don't show their work until it's completed."

" Well, excuse ME, Pabla Picasso!" Braden shakes her head.

" Well, be glad I'm not a cubist like Picasso. Or I'd probably have one of your boobs coming out your ear, and the other attached to your elbow."

" Huh? You didn't!" Braden comes the rest of the way, and looks at the canvas. " Don't scare me like that!" She studies the painting of herself, and smiles. " Wow. You made me gorgeous. Screw Jimmy, maybe I'll just hang this on my wall for myself." She laughs.

" Ok, sneaky. You got your peek, now go back and get in your pose so I can work."

" C'mon, Faith, don't you think I'm pretty?" Braden pouts her lips, " You must; you made me pretty." She admires the canvas.

" Oh, you're just gorgeous, except for that swelled head of yours, " Faith growls," Now go back and let's get back to work."

" Oh, you're just being such a poop!" Braden walks back, and reclines on the lounge. " I thought _all_ the great artists slept with their models." She giggles.

" Don't you got a date with Jimmy tonight?" Faith dismisses her flirting. She adds some strokes to the painting.

" Oh god, what time is it? I was supposed to meet him at 9:00 tonight!" Braden looks panicked.

" Relax. If it were nine, they'd boot us outta here. Now just lay back and let me do a little more…"

" Faith, are you in here?" A voice calls out from the doorway. A very familiar voice.

" J-Joyce?" Faith calls out. _Oh, man! I forgot. She's supposed to meet me here! Crap!_ " Hey, Braden. Sessions over. Get up and get dressed."

" We're not done yet!" Braden protests, as Faith comes over carrying her robe.

" Faith, the girl downstairs said I could find you …."

Joyce walks in and seeing the nude girl on the couch, and Faith looking a little guilty, quickly turns around.

" Oh…my… sorry… I didn't mean to …" She blushes, and starts for the door.

" Joyce, wait!" Faith runs towards her.

" Faith? What's going on? Who's that woman? Where are you going?" Braden calls out after her. She starts to put on her robe.

" Joyce! Wait!" Faith catches her, and grabs her by the arm.

" No, that's … I… sorry, I didn't know … so embarrassed… look, sorry, I thought we had a date… guess I was mixed up… sorry…"

" Huh? Of course we got a date. What're you… oh my god! No, Joyce, no, it's nothing like…" Faith blocks her way. " Joyce, honest, nothing like that… look, come with me." She starts leading Joyce back into the studio.

" NO! I mean, no, that's ok, Faith. I… well, I'll call you or something, ok?" Joyce pulls away from Faith, trying to escape.

" Joyce, c'mon…." She keeps pulling her along, bringing her to the easel.

" Faith McKerrigan! Who is that woman?" Braden, in a robe now, stands halfway between the easel and the lounger. Her hands are back on her hips.

" Braden, please. She's a friend. " Faith makes the introductions. " Joyce, this is Braden. Braden, Joyce."

" Look, Faith, your … affairs are your business, " Joyce whispers to Faith. " I understand. We can get together tomorrow."

" Joyce, you really, really have it all wrong, " Faith points at the easel. " Look."

Joyce looks at the easel, and sees the painting in progress. She looks at Braden, and unconsciously sighs in relief. Then she looks at Faith, somewhat surprised.

" Now, Faith, don't be coy with the lady, " Braden teases her. " You know all great artists sleep with their models."

Joyce picks up Braden's tone, and realizes she's teasing Faith. She plays along.

" Faith, are you having an affair with this young girl?" Joyce tries to put on a hurt voice, and keep from laughing.

Faith look like a deer caught in the headlights.

" Huh, what? No, for god's sake no! Braden… well, Braden is straight. She has a boyfriend, " Faith turns to Braden, and growls, " A boyfriend she's been complaining all night about meeting. Shouldn't you go do that, now?"

" Aw, Faithy- waithy, don't be that way," Braden winks at Joyce, " I mean, Jimmy's cute, but you _know_ my heart is yours, baby."

" Faith, I'm shocked. How can you be so… cold," Joyce winks back at Braden." I mean it's obvious this girl is enamored with you, and you treat her like… well, like a model!" It's getting harder and harder to keep a straight face. _Oh, my goodness, look at her. She's so panicked!_" I guess I know when I've lost." Joyce's voice takes on a tragic quality.

Faith, thrown by Joyce's appearing here, isn't catching on. She looks more and more upset.

" Faith, baby, don't you love me no more?" Braden coos. " I'll drop Jimmy in a heartbeat, just say the word!" That might not be entirely just teasing on Braden's part.

" Faith, you dog. How can you lead this girl on? Lead me on? … oh, goodness, I can't do it anymore, look at her face," Joyce loses it, busting out laughing.

Braden takes one look at the panic and confusion written all over Faith's face, and joins Joyce in the laughter.

" Faith, you're so easy," Braden laughs, and moves to Joyce. " You must be the Joyce Faith has been talking about all afternoon. God, on and on and on…"

Joyce blushes a little.

" Braden? Keep the pie hole shut, ok?" Faith growls at her. " We're done for tonight."

" 'K, grouchy. Bye, Joyce, it was nice meeting _you_" Braden chuckles, and turning, walks to collect up her clothing. She grabs it, and walks out, heading to the bathroom to change.

Faith throws Braden a dirty look. _If I didn't need the money… grrr._

Joyce, still somewhat surprised at Faith's abilities and that she's been talking about her to her friend … _she's talking about me? To her friends? Oh, and don't you just love it?…_ wanders over and studies the incomplete painting with a critical eye.

" Faith, you did this?" Joyce asks, drawing her attention away from Braden. Faith walks over, and seeing the way Joyce is studying the painting, feels suddenly a little nervous with a side of shy.

" Uhhh… yeah, " she says softly, at Joyce's elbow. _Oh god, she hates it. I suck. She's a gallery owner. She'd know. I suck big time!_

" Have you ever had any technical training? In drawing or perspective or proportion?" Joyce inquires, still studying the painting.

" No," Faiths says, a little edgily. " I mean, not all of us have like college education or nothing. Can't afford to go to like a school…"

Joyce looks up, and looks at Faith, smiling. " I'm not being critical, Faith. This is quite good, even though it's not done. You have a nice eye, a good sense of design and form. Yes, sure, some of your perspective is a little off, and proportions are a little… strange, but it's really very nice," Joyce says, nodding. " I'd sell it, if I had it. Well, if it were complete."

Faith could only think of one thing that could make her happier than what Joyce just said. As it is, she almost feels like purring.

" Really?" Faith asks, " I thought it… I don't know, something's off." Faith does a little fishing.

" Well, artists often see something that's hard to put on the medium," Joyce is well aware what Faith is doing. She hasn't been running a gallery and dealing with artists for nothing. "Don't worry, you'll figure it out."

" Ah, it's really nothing anyway. Just do it to help with the rent and all." Faith says, waving her hand.

" What?"

" Oh, yeah. That place I live in, kinda pricey. I do this stuff for some of the neighborhood girls. It kind of helps buys stuff I can't budget on my salary, you know?"

" You've been doing this for awhile, then?"

" Oh yeah. Shoot, been drawing… heck, I can't remember when I started drawing. Just liked to do it. Helped me figure stuff out, you know what I mean? I mean, I had all this stuff going on when I was growing up." Faith moves away, feeling a little nervous. She's not used to sharing." I was a little… ok, a lot crazy growing up. I had these feelings, and didn't know how to deal with them. I didn't really get it, and I acted out. I felt better when I was sketching or stuff. I felt I could put all the chaos in my head and heart down on paper, you know? I couldn't like write it out, didn't know the words. But I could draw it. Some of those sketches of mine? Really scary."

" So, when did you figure it out," Joyce asks, softly. " that you… well, were different?"

" You mean, when did I figure out I was a lesbian?" Faith chuckles at Joyce's discomfort. " It's ok, I'm not ashamed of what I am, Joyce. It's me, you know? I dunno, really. Ok, that's a lie. I fell hard for one of my friends. And well, she didn't see things the same way. It got kinda nasty, and she started calling me names. So, I kinda asked around what it meant, and I got lots of cold stares and looks, but Paulie… you remember, that jackass I introduced you to, " Faith was still feeling the sting and embarrassment of that meeting, " he sort of explained things to me. Then he asked me point blank if I liked girls… that way… and I shrugged and kind of admitted it."

She sighs, feeling a little anger. " He told me not to let on, to hide it. Southie? Not know for it's gay tolerance, if you catch my meaning. I know he was trying to protect me, but I was lying about what I was. I got really angry, inside, having to pretend to be like everybody else. That's not me. I started getting into some deep shit. Bad shit. Shit, I don't talk about," She stops the questions before they can start. " I pulled myself out before it got too bad, but it's only cuz I had the drawing and stuff. I kept me from going nuts." She looks at Joyce, her face neutral. " took awhile, and a lot of reading and stuff, and sneaking into Boston proper to find a Gay-Lesbian group, to accept what I am. I'm not like flying rainbow flags and stuff, or shouting it from the rooftops, but I'm not hiding it anymore, either. But that took some time. Not easy to be different when you're a kid, you know?"

Joyce feels a strong urge to gather the young woman in her arms, and cuddle her, trying to comfort her. She resists the urge, however, fearing it might be misconstrued. Instead she nods at the painting.

" So, when did you start working in oils?" Joyce asks, trying to change the subject.

" Oh that!" Faith laughs, " well, I was still just doing my drawing, and my girlfriend at the time, Maureen, she started teasing me. Said that ' real artists' did paintings. So, I said ' oh yeah?' and she said "oh yeah' and so I said 'ok, so what do I paint ?' and she said, 'well me of course, silly' so I got this wicked idea, and I said, ' ok, great. But you gotta pose nude' and she got all of a sudden shy. I mean, this girl was wild in bed, but she was shy about posing nude, can you get it? She made excuses and tried to back out, but I had her. So, I borrowed some stuff, and well, this was back when I lived on 6th street, I painted her in my apartment, cuz I didn't know if I could get away with it in well, like a public place like the community center… anyway, I painted her, and she saw it and got all like happy-happy and was so jazzed cuz, well, let's say I made some improvements and she asked,' hey is that how you see me?' and I said ' yeah' and she got all crazy and fucked my brains out that night. My first 'paid' commission," Faith laughs.

Joyce, imagining the scene, blushes just a little.

" All right. That might be more information than I really needed, " She says, her neck getting very warm.

" Well, you asked, didn't ya?" Faith is loving this. ." Anyway, after she dumped me, I kept the painting. Some of my friends saw it, and they wanted to be painted ' au natural' too… so… I kinda make some money on the side doing it now." Faith takes a deep breath. " whew."

" I really think you have talent, Faith," She stares at the canvas. For some reason, it gives her one of those low down tickles." Ummm… have you thought about going to school? Learning more technique?"

" Oh yeah, I guess I'll just enroll in some fancy art school, huh?" Faith sounds bitter. " Sorry, but some of us don't got the money for that kinda crap. Some of us are just making ends meet."

" There are scholarships, Faith. Grants for artists. Have you…"

" Don't pay the bills, Joyce. Don't get it done." She turns away, tired of talking about it. " Maybe we should just get outta here, you know? I kinda want to change into something not covered by paint before we go out."

" Ok, Faith," Joyce says, quietly. She comes over to the younger woman, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

" Just forget it, Joyce. It's not a big deal. I just do this to make some cash," Faith waves her hand, then looks at Joyce, smiling. " Anyway, I got a classy lady I gotta take to dinner and a movie. So what say?" She winks.

" I say, let's go."

3

Joyce walked into the movie theater, and was overcome with a wave of nostalgia.

She hadn't been in a movie theater like this one in a long time. Not since she'd been Faith's age, or even younger.

It was an old theater, nothing like the modern mall theaters with multiple screens, narrow auditoriums hardly wider than the screen, and sound systems guaranteed to make you deaf. This was a movie palace.

Oh sure, it'd seen better days. Some of the tile was cracking, and it desperately needed paint. But the lobby was huge, with vaulted ceilings and carved moldings and an old fashioned snack counter with real oak counters and oh, my is that…

" Is that popcorn. I mean," Joyce takes in the scent wafting through the air," Fresh popped popcorn. Not that stuff they buy pre popped in bags and reheat?"

"Oh, it's fresh. Really good. That's one of the pluses of this joint, " Faith says, walking to the counter." The popcorn is the best. That , and they got good movies." She raises a brow, asking with her eyes.

" I'm kinda full from… oh, what the heck. Yes, please, I want a popcorn!" Joyce comes over to her, almost giggling.

Faith grins, and gets two popcorns and two soft drinks, and they enter the theater itself.

Joyce stops, almost gaping.

The auditorium is huge. It has row upon row of seats, divided by two aisles running parallel down to the screen itself. The seats are actually covered in a velvet like material, clearly worn but still serviceable. And there's a balcony, something she hasn't seen in movie theaters in a very long time. Again, the ceiling is vaulted with carved moldings. Instead of ordinary house lights, a series of chandeliers hung , spaced just right to throw enough light to fill the auditorium. On the walls themselves are painted scenes of various subjects.

" Goodness, Faith. This is wonderful, " Joyce feels like a hick from the sticks, gaping at the pretty buildings.

" It's the oldest movie theater in South Boston. It used to be an actual legitimate theater, but it was converted early in the century for movies. Aint it a hoot?" She pulls Joyce along, and turns, pointing to the balcony. " Up there, over on the left, is probably the best make-out spot in the area. I've had a few ' friends' up there, necking and making out like mad." She turns to Joyce, a wicked smile on her face. " So, whatcha say, Joyce, wanna sit up there and see if I really have Roman hands and Russian fingers?" She sticks her tongue just between her teeth.

_God, she's so naughty and cute at the same time!_ Joyce thinks, looking at her. _Ok, Joyce, hold the hormones in check._

" I think we better sit down here in the fuddy section," Joyce says, waving to the seats in front of them.

" Fuddy is only a state of mind, Joyce. Not a place, " Faith winks, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the row.

They find seats, and get settled in. Faith slips her arm around Joyce, and Joyce, although very aware of it, doesn't comment.

" Hope you like old movies," Faith says, casually.

" I beg your pardon?"

" Well, this place is really kind of an classics theater. It only shows old movies from the thirties through the fifties. Didn't you catch the bill on the marquee as we walked in?"

" No, I wasn't really paying too much attention." Joyce answers.

_Oh, is that so? And just what was on your mind, Joyce Summers? Hmmm? _Faith grins secretly to herself.

" So, what's playing?" Joyce continues.

_" To Catch a Thief"_ Faith grins, popping some popcorn in her mouth.

" Oh, my! I haven't seen that since … oh dear, forever!" Joyce smiles, " Cary Grant, Grace Kelly…"

" Grace Kelly. Now, there's one hot woman, " Faith sighs. She waves her hand, as if cooling herself. " Damned Prince Rainier! What's he got that I aint got? Except a dick and say hundreds of millions of dollars!"

" Faith, you're terrible. She was married to him long before you were even a thought in your parent's head."

" Don't matter. Doesn't stop me from drooling over her a little!" Faith chuckles.

" You really like old movies?"

" Oh yeah, love 'em. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like modern movies too. But there's nothing like the old movies, black and white or color. They just had a style and well… grace… that they can't do anymore, know what I mean?"

" I really think you have to get over this obsession with Grace Kelly, " Joyce teases," but yeah, I know what you mean. They're terribly romantic, and sometimes silly, but they're so fun! Me, I always admired Katherine Hepburn."

" Really?" Faith looks at her, " Why?"

" Oh well, she was always so independent. And she knew exactly what she wanted, and went after it til she got with it. And yes, she wasn't like a sexpot like Marilyn Monroe, or a beauty like 'your' Grace , but she had classic looks. I mean, she was pretty when she was young, but she really became beautiful when she got older. Know what I mean?"

If Joyce had been looking at Faith, she would've seen the utter love shining in her eyes.

" Oh yeah, " Faith says softly, " I think I get it." She just looks at Joyce for a moment, drinking her in.

" So, c'mon, piggy. Are you gonna share any of that popcorn or what?"

Faith blushes slightly, and hands the popcorn over to Joyce. She clears her throat.

" So, you see? I knew there was a reason I liked you, " Faith says, " Not only do you have great taste in art, but you like old movies and have great taste in women, too." Faith leans back as the lights start to go down.

Joyce looks over at Faith, and for a moment, sees the softness of her face, and the way her lips are slightly parted and seem wet. She feels this incredible urge to kiss Faith. _God, she's so … ok, casual, remember? Breaking this off at the end of the date. Remember?_ There's a silence. _Well? Do you REMEMBER?_ Joyce sighs internally. _Yes, I remember. Now, shut UP!_

Joyce turns to the screen just as the Warner Bros Logo flashes across the screen, with the Looney Toons cast hanging off it. The Theme, " Merry Melodies" starts to play.

" Cartoons? You didn't tell me there'd be cartoons!" Joyce is like a kid. Faith smiles, seeing her eyes shining the reflected light in the dark. Joyce reaches over, and pats her knee. " This is sooo great!" She sits back.

Faith's eyes flick briefly over at Joyce, and a tiny little smile tugs at her lips. _No, you're so great, Joyce._ She sits back to enjoy the movie.

Two hours later the two women emerge from the theater. Joyce is sniffling a little, and reaches for a handkerchief out of her purse.

" I'm sorry. I didn't know it'd affect you like that, or…" Faith is apologizing profusely, thinking Joyce is upset.

" Oh, no, silly. IT was wonderful," Joyce dabs the kerchief to her eyes." That was great. It was just so romantic. I kind of tear up some. And of course, when the fireworks go off and they kiss… oh, my" Joyce sighs happily. " That was sooo much fun!" Joyce exclaims.

" Well, yeah. Kissing Grace Kelly. Where's the bad there?" Faith teases, waving her hand like she's cooling herself. " Wow. That lucky dog, Grant. Those lips. Weren't they just… so kissable?"

" You're such a tease, you" Joyce jostles her playfully." You just like pretty girls."

" Well, yeah," Faith grins, " but Grace is way beyond ' pretty'. She's gorgeous."

" Oh, I think you just like cute blondes. I best keep you away from my daughter."

" Oh? You have a cute blond daughter, eh?" Faith arches her brow. " you trying to fix us up?"

" You're terrible! Buffy's still in high school… and still interested in boys, last time I checked."

" That could change, " Faith says, sticking out her tongue and licking her lips playfully. " Just let me talk to her for awhile!"

" You're evil, and a cradle robber, to boot!" Joyce slaps her arm playfully, " first you seduce that poor model of yours, and now you're trying for my daughter! Who's next, huh?"

_Well, if you'd pay attention to those anvils I keep dropping…_

" Don't worry, you're little girl is safe, ok?" Faith throws up her hands in surrender." I won't touch her." _Not making any promises about mom, however!_

" Though, I swear sometimes, the guys that girl of mine dates? I'd rather see her with someone like you."

" Ok, now I'm confused. You want me to seduce your daughter?"

" No, of course not. I just wish there were some nice responsible guys she'd meet, instead of the lunkheads she's always picking."

" So, you think I'm nice and responsible huh?" Faith gives her a look.

" What's wrong with that?" Joyce asks." You take care of yourself, you treat things seriously… well, sometimes; you're respectful, honest, saving…"

" Oh for god's sake, you're making me sound like a girl scout!" Faith starts laughing. " I'm the opposite of a girl scout, Joyce, Trust me. I'm the girl you don't bring home for the folks to meet."

" Maybe, once," Joyce says, " but I'm beginning to believe you're turning that around."

" Oh, you do, do you?" Faith gets an evil look on her face. She grabs Joyce's arm, and starts dragging her along.

" Hey… HEY!" Joyce says, starting to giggle. " Where're you taking me?"

" Someplace, " Faith says, enigmatically. " Girl scout, my butt." She mutters.

She hurries Joyce along, and then turns suddenly down another street.

It's obvious this place is not the gemstone in any community's crown.

The street is lit up by various neon signs, filling the block, advertising a plethora of entertainment, most of it sexual in nature. The sidewalks are busy, mostly single men, cruising or entering or exiting various establishments. Outside each establishment is a hook. A person, usually a girl, acting as a barker to attract customers into their place of business. Some are dressed conservatively, some decked out as hookers or Dommes, one or two try for a schoolgirl look, although their blouses are half unbuttoned, their middy skirts rolled up so they show a lot of leg… and usually wearing something underneath suggesting these aren't innocent schoolgirls.

All in all it has the same sleazy charm as a carnival sideshow. Bright lights and barkers promising things that usually aren't delivered on. There's a sense of urgency to the street hooks, and a certain sadness underlying the glitter.

Faith pulls Joyce along, smirking at her slightly open mouthed reaction. She turns to Joyce.

" So, what do you think now, Joyce? Am I still a girl scout?"

" What is this place?" Joyce says, a little overwhelmed.

" This is Delancy street, Joyce. A real shit house of a place. You know, peepshows, Live sex acts, Adult Movies, Adult book stores, Girls, Girls, Girls. XXX crap, you know? Thought I'd give you the tour." Faith has a slight edge to her voice.

" I don't know, Faith. I'm not really feeling very comfortable here," Joyce looks around, a little worried.

" Aw, c'mon, Joycie, " Faith urges her, " It'll be a hoot. Look at all the freaks, huh? So, which are girls, and which are boys, Joyce? Wanna guess?"

" Faith, really, do you think we can leave… wait," She looks at the various hooks lining the street. " Some of those aren't girls?"

" Surprised, baby? Yeah, more than some. Matter of fact," Faith looks up and down the row, pointing " That one… that one… and … " She trails off when she sees a too familiar face. " you know what? Maybe your right. Maybe you're not ready for this. Lets blow this place," Faith starts to turn. Too late.

" Faith! FAITH! Hey girl, what you up to ?" One of the hooks calls out to her.

" C'mon, Joyce, lets go get…"

" Faith, I think that girl's calling out to you, " Joyce says.

_Great. Just great. What the hell is _she _doing here?_

" Huh? Oh… yeah." Faith sounds as enthusiastic as a kid caught cutting school.

" Hey, baby! C'mon on over. Bring your friend. Check it out!" The barker calls out. People start to turn, looking at Faith and Joyce.

_Crap._

Faith escorts Joyce over to where the girl is standing. She doesn't smile at recognizing the girl.

_Hmmm… something's not right in Faith's world, _Joyce observes.

" Faith, baby," the girl reach over, grabbing Faith's arm, " What's the deal? Why were you playing like you didn't hear me? You used to want to get in my pants pretty bad, girl." The girl winks.

" Faith?" Joyce says, " Aren't you going to introduce us?"

" Yeah, baby. Intro me to the pretty lady."

" Joyce, Merry. Merry, Joyce," Faith mumbles, obviously reluctant to do the introductions.

Merry Callahan is a little older than Faith, with long red hair and wicked green eyes. She is taller than Faith, with a generous bosom and wide curvy hips. She is currently one of the girls dressed like a schoolgirl, with a plaid skirt, knees sox and patent leather shoes. However, beyond that she's wearing a white blouse loosely knotted below her breasts, and underneath is wearing a red lace camisole. Her skirt is pulled low enough on her hips so her matching red thong is slightly visible. Her makeup is heavy, to the point of exaggeration, and her earrings are large hoops.

" Nice to meet you, Merry," Joyce says, extending her hand.

Merry stares at her hand, and Joyce retracts it.

" Nice to meet you too, Joyce. I'm sure." Merry turns to Faith. " So, this the new squeeze?" Merry leans in, so only Faith can hear. " She hot in bed, babe?"

Faiths lips press tightly together, and her eyes narrow.

" So, those hooking charges? They didn't stick then, huh?" She replies.

Merry's eyes go wide, and the corners of her mouth turn down.

" So, what? You too good for us now, Faith? Doin' a little slumming' with your rich girl here? She keeping you in style, babe?" She gives Faith the once over, " I'm guessing, not."

" I can see Tina's takin' really good care of you, Merry," Faith sneers, giving her the once over back. " Love the sleazy schoolgirl look. Oh yeah, for you that wasn't a look, was it? It was a lifestyle."

Merry makes a face." Just because I didn't give you none, you little…"

" Faith, sweetie, why don't we go inside so this young lady can earn her living?" Joyce tugs on Faith's arm.

"Yeah, Faith honey," Merry's voice is all syrupy. " Get something to help your old bitch here along. We got some really nice stuff … sure she'll find something she'll like. I'm pretty sure we have something big enough… Owww!"

Merry finds her ear being twisted. By Joyce.

" Listen here, Merry. We're going in. That makes us customers." She twists the younger girl's ear. " So, maybe you should be a little nicer, and stop with the slutty cat routine, " She twists her ear again. Merry's eyes tear up. " Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

" Geeze, let go of my ear! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Merry whines. " God, that HURTS!"

Joyce releases her ear, and Merry retreats a little, afraid Joyce will grab her again. Joyce just smiles pleasantly, and proceeds into the shop. Faith smirks, sticks out her tongue at Merry, and then follows.

She catches up to Joyce, who is standing in the middle of the place, looking for all the world a little overwhelmed.

" That was sooo cool, Joyce!" Faith comes up, slipping her arm through Joyce's. " God, that girl is such a bitch and a half."

" Is that the one?" Joyce asks quietly.

" Huh?"

" The one you jumped the bike over the barrels naked for?"

" Uhhh… yeah," Faith sort of gets an embarrassed look. " How'd you know?"

" I didn't. Til now." Joyce winks, " but by your attitude, I figured you two had a history… and it wasn't pleasant."

" Believe me, if she looked like that…" Faith nods her head, "… the day I did it. I wouldn't have done it."

" Yeah, well, I try to tell Merry she really doesn't look too good that way, " a voice calls out from the counter, " but she doesn't listen. Really, she sloughs the make-up on with a trowel these days."

Joyce sees Faith blush a deep red, getting an " Oh shit" look on her face. She turns to the counter and sees what is probably one of the most stunningly beautiful women she's ever seen

The girl is tall, model tall, with short blonde hair, almost in a boy cut. Her eyes are a startlingly blue color, and her skin is almost a creamy peach tone. She has a small, slightly upturned nose and full, bow shaped lips. Long fingers end in with neatly trimmed nails sporting a clear polish. She's wearing a pair of hip hugger jeans which look painted on, and a white spaghetti strap camisole. She leans over the counter, looking at Faith and Joyce.

" Hi, Faith," She says in a soft voice, " been a long time, girl."

" Yeah. How you been, Tina?" Faith asks, her voice a little hoarse.

Tina Gallagher smiles warmly, her hands held out in front of her. Joyce can see by the way she's squeezing her fingers together she's as nervous as Faith. _Something's going on here. Something not entirely over._ Joyce wonders why that makes her just the tiniest bit jealous.

Faith for her part seems to be frozen in place. She doesn't move, but Joyce can see her clenching her fists.

" Well, ever since you left me? Not so good, Faith, " Tina says, her smile fading a little.

" What did you expect, Tina? You were sleeping around with everybody behind my back, " Faith's voice has a defensive edge to it.

" Is that why you did the motorcycle thing to get in Merry's pants? Because you thought I was sleeping around on you?" Tina sounds defensive now.

" Thought? Thought?" Faith is incredulous. " Geeze, I had a dozen people come up to me and tell me you were …"

Something about the girl bothers Joyce. _Where have I seen her before?_

" That was a lie, Faith. I never cheated on you," Tina says," I loved you, Faith. More than anything."

It hits Joyce like a thunderbolt.

" Are you calling me a liar, Tina Gallagher?" Faith doesn't sound happy.

" Not you, Faith…"

" Oh my goodness! " Joyce blurts out. " you look just like Grace Kelly!"

Tina chuckles and blushes. " Just what Faith told me the first day we met, " Tina smiles. " I didn't get your name."

" Joyce. Joyce Summers, " Joyce start to walk to Tina, but is stopped By Faith, who hooks her arm through Joyce's.

" She's a friend, Tina," Faith mutters, " A very _special_ friend."

" So I see, " Tina's brows go up. She puts on a shopkeeper's smile. " So, anyway, please look around. If you need any help, let me know." She looks at Faith, her eyes a little sad. " It was nice seeing you again, Faith." She walks away from the counter, and picks up a magazine, studiously ignoring them.

They move away from her, wandering around the shop.

" Well, I see why Merry's so catty towards you. Tina obviously still has a thing for you," Joyce says quietly.

" That's silly, Joyce. It's been over between us for awhile. A long while, ok?"

Joyce is no fool. She can sense a broken heart when it comes up and hits her in the face. She takes Faith's hand, turning her around. " Hey, it's ok, I know how it feels. Really I do, " Joyce squeezes her hand.

Faith looks into Joyce's eyes. Joyce can see a sadness just beneath the surface. Faith squeezes her hand.

" You're the best, you know that , Joyce?"

Joyce feels a flutter in her heart, and some tingles somewhat lower. She smiles, a little pink-cheeked.

" Do you want to talk about it?"

" No, I really don't, " Faith says, the hurt still too close.

" You want to go?"

" No, actually, we're here, and I brought you here and… anyway, I know Tina won't cheat us. She's honest… that way."

" Ok," Joyce says. " But stick close, ok? Some of this stuff is scary."

They wander around the shop, Joyce picking up various toys and sexual aids. Some make her brow furrow, some make her feel strange. She picks up one, curved with two appendages. She looks at Faith, puzzled.

" What does this do?" Joyce asks, holding it up.

Faith looks at the device, then clears her throat.

" Ah, well, this kind of hits all openings at once." She points to the long tip, " Anus" the second tip, longer and slightly curved, with a short arm in front . " Vagina, and this stimulates your clit, simultaneously."

Joyce looks at the device, and gets a very worried look on her face. " What if it … malfunctions?"

Faith bites her lip to hold back a laugh." Maybe this one isn't for you, Joyce."

" I feel really old. And rather naïve " Joyce says, setting down the toy.

Joyce wanders some more, her eyes growing wider and wider. She hits the video section, and starts looking at the titles. They range from soft core to raunchy hard core. She starts reading some of the titles.

_Star Whores? Lusty bitches in heat?_ She looks at one box, graphically illustrated, and starts giggling.

" Joyce?" Faith comes over, seeing her amusement. " What?"

Joyce hands her the box. She points at the picture of the man's penis. " No way. That's just fake."

" Actually, Joyce, I saw a picture once, and the guy… well…" She whispers in her ear, bringing her hand down to her kneecap. Joyce looks, and her eyes go wide.

" No … that's just not… really?"

" Yeah, but from what I understand, didn't do him much good. Every time he got an erection, he lost so much blood from his brain, he'd faint."

Joyce bursts out laughing, and Tina looks up from her magazine, mildly interested. She sees Joyce and Faith laughing. She frowns a little, and looks back down.

Faith wanders off, going to another part of the store, while Joyce looks over some of the other videos. She pulls out one, her look a little puzzled.

_Change of Seasons._

On it was pictured a young girl, with an older woman. They weren't naked, really, more in stages of undress. They were holding each other, kissing furiously. Joyce felt a definite flush creep up her neck, and a strong tingle down below.

For a moment she's tempted to buy it. Then she looks up at Faith, and knows she could never explain it to her. Reluctantly, she replaces it on the shelf.

She walks over to where Faith is looking, and looks over her shoulder.

Faith is holding a strap on harness dildo, inspecting it.

" What's that for?"

She sees the blush creep up Faith's neck.

" Nothing!" She says, putting it down.

" What's it do, Faith?" Joyce persists, curious.

Faith feels very tongue tied.

" Oh that?" Tina calls over to Joyce, a small tight grin on her face. " That's worn by one woman so she can fuck her partner and simulate having a cock."

" Oh." Joyce says, staring at the strap on. She looks at Faith, whose blush has carried up to her cheeks. " Thank you, Tina," Joyce says.

" No problem Joyce. Actually, it can be quite nice, done right."

" I suppose so, " Joyce answers, a little distracted. In her head, she's flashing on Faith wearing one, and she's… _Oh my, ok, lets just NOT GO THERE!_

" I think we should go now," Faith says, quietly.

" Oh, no, I want a souvenir, " Joyce says. " Never been in a sex shop before."

Joyce sees something, which looks like an oversized pacifier with a belt on it, and a long tail on the back. She looks at Faith, and picks it up. " Ok, what the heck does this do?"

Faith gulps.

" It's a butt plug, Joyce. You strap around your waist, insert it in your butt, and well… you kind of get the horse tail theme?"

Joyce drops it back onto the counter. Sighing, she moves away. _God, I don't know so much… and I'm not so sure I want to learn._

She turns around, and her jaw drops open. She stares at … the monster in front of her.

It's at least 3" thick, and 12 inches long. It's on a little base, and there's a switch on the base. Otherwise, it looks exactly like a huge male penis, down to the veins and uncircumcised head.

She walks over to it, and looks at it from another angle. _My god, how'd you ever get that in?_ She touches the switch experimentally, and the thing starts to hum. And slowly rotate. She quickly turns it off. _Ok, that's just.. _She shudders.

She walks over to the glass case by the counter, and looks in. Inside are more conventionally shaped dildos. She sees one, Silver colored with a pink tip. The tip has little nubs on it.

" That's a very popular seller," Tina comes over from her magazine. She pulls it out of the case, and hands it to Joyce.

" What's the tip about?" She asks, pointing at the little nubs.

" Oh, that's a tickler. Believe me, you'd love it." Tina grins." Very nice , feels very nice indeed."

" May I?" She asks, holding out her hand. Tina places it in her hand.

" Flick this switch here, " Tina points at it.

Joyce does, and the vibrator starts to hum. She presses the tickler against her skin, and smiles. Then she understands where It's supposed to go, and she smiles a broader smile.

" Ok, I think I want this one."

" Good choice, Joyce, " Tina says, smiling. " I think you'll get a lot of hours of pleasure out of this little honey." She puts it in a bag, and walks over to the register. Joyce follows her, paying cash.

" Faith, are you ready to go?" Joyce asks, standing next to Tina, waiting for her change.

" Huh? Oh yeah, sure," Faith says, moving to the register.

" Actually," Tina looks up at the clock, " if you guys aren't in a hurry? We have a little something special going on in back. If you want to check it out?"

Faith smells a rat.

" Joyce I think we should just go now," Faith says, looping her arm through Joyce's and trying to get her to come with her.

" Aw, c'mon Faith. Don't be a party poop. I know you'll enjoy this, " She turns to Joyce. " It's really nice."

" Come on, Faith. What can it hurt?" Joyce smiles.

"Joyce, I think we've seen enough here for tonight, don't you?" She's getting a sinking feeling in her gut. " I'm thinking there's other stuff we can go see."

Joyce is no fool. This sex stuff might be confusing to her, but relationship stuff she has a decent handle on. _Oh, that's why it went to hell in your marriage then? Shut UP!_ She can sense the tension between the two women. She trusts Faith a lot more than Tina.

" You know, I'm kind of wanting to get some coffee. You know a place close?" She asks Faith.

" Oh yeah, not too far, " Faith smiles, realizing she's won. She starts leading Joyce towards the door.

" Goodbye, Tina, it was nice meeting you," Joyce turns her head and smiles, waving as she leaves.

Tina neither smiles nor waves. Her eyes drill holes in the back of Joyce's head as the couple leaves.

Back out on the street, they run into Merry, who gives them the once over, then a sneering little smile.

" So, leaving already? What's wrong? You're new squeeze couldn't handle it?"

" Merry," Faith starts towards her," Shut your stupid…". Joyce restrains her.

" You know dear? Jealousy is really an ugly thing. Even though Tina's with you, you can't stand she still has strong feelings for Faith. Being a total bitch is only going to make it worse. You really need to work on that," Joyce never loses her smile. She starts to turn away, then turns back , " Oh, and honey? The whole …" Joyce waves her hand by the side of her face, "… harlot look? Really not a good look for you. Might want to rethink that. Bye now." She turns, and leaves with Faith.

Faith looks over her shoulder as Merry stands there, mouth gaping open. She turns back to Joyce.

" You know something?"

" What?"

" You're pretty damned amazing." Faith grins, squeezing her arm.

" I have my moments, " Joyce says, nodding. "So, where can we get that coffee?"

Faith cocks her head, as if seeing a new part of Joyce she's never noticed before. Her grin widens, and they walk back towards the main drag.

Neither one notices the man detach himself from the crowd, and follow them at a distance.

Sitting at a small table in the well lit coffee bar, Joyce watches as Faith plays with her half full cup. She seems to be distracted, as if her mind is a million miles away.

" Penny for your thoughts, " Joyce says lightly, trying to keep things casual. Trying not to seem like she's digging. " Well, maybe I should make that a quarter, with inflation."

Faith looks up, and smiles. " Sorry. About that whole thing. That was just me being a brat, you know?" She shrugs. " I never should've taken you there. Just when you started making me sound like a girl scout…"

" Don't be silly. It was fun and educational, " Joyce keeps it light, " and I got a really neat souvenir." She shakes the bag at Faith.

" What'd you buy, anyway?"

" I can't show you here," Joyce blushes lightly. " it's embarrassing."

Faith has to bite her lip to keep from laughing. _God, she's so worldly in some ways, and so innocent in others. Could she be any cuter?_

" Well, give me the bag, and I'll look at it that way," Faith holds out her hand.

Joyce reluctantly hand over the little bag, and Faith opens it. Her eyebrows go up, and she looks up at Joyce.

" Joyce, do you know what this is?" Faith is grinning again. Joyce blushes a little, but she's happy to see the smile back on Faith's face.

" Well, yes, Faith. I'm not a total dope, " Joyce says, eyes twinkling merrily.

" You little …" She leans over, and whispers softly"… horn dog. You planning on putting it to use?" She smiles knowingly.

" Faith!" Joyce blushes deeper now. " It's a souvenir. A reminder, is all. Like the Mickey Mouse ears I bought when I went to Disneyland with the kids. I don't use _those_ either!"

" Believe me, " Faith shakes the bag, " This is much more fun than Mickey Mouse ears," Faith giggles.

" Goodness, is that all you ever think about? Sex?"

" Well, no. But we were just in a sex shop," Faith says, sotto voce," does give one ideas, you know."

" I see, " Joyce says, quietly. " Is that what's been on your mind the last half hour?"

Faith's grin fades, and she turns a little away, raising her cup to take a drink. Her eyes flick over towards Joyce, and seeing her looking at her, she lowers the cup and sighs.

" No, like I said, I'm just bummed I exposed you to that crap. Especially the Skanky Twins."

" Faith, look. I had fun. I always wanted to go into one of those places, but I never had the courage to. It was nice being there with a friend, you know?" Joyce reaches over, covering Faith's hand with her own. " Thank you."

Faith tries a weak smile, but it doesn't work too well. " Still…"

" Hey, just think about it. Seeing her tonight, I mean Merry? Now, aren't you glad you didn't sleep with her? I mean… just think about it." Joyce grins at her.

Faith can't help it, her dimples show as she grins. " Oh god, I'm sooo happy she disappeared now. God, when I think how much of a skank she is…" Faith shakes her head, and shudders.

" As for Tina…" Joyce notes that Faith's grin fades fast,"… look, Faith, it's ok to still have feelings for her. She's one pretty girl, and I can tell just by the way you look at her, you really had strong feelings for her." She squeezes Faith's hand. " Look, I still have feelings for Hank, even if he's turned out to be a lying, cheating bastard. We have a history, and that means something. You just don't get over that, no matter what everyone tells you."

She reaches out and touches Faith's cheek, causing Faith to turn her head and look at her.

" It's ok to still have feelings Faith. All you can do is move on, and hope you find someone better."

_Like maybe you're beginning to think you have, Joyce? _

_It's not like that. We're just friends._

_Hmmm._

" How'd you get so smart?" Faith asks, smiling again.

" Been a mom nearly 18 years now, Faith. You pick up stuff, you know?" Joyce finishes her coffee. " Ready to go?"

_How could you not love this woman?_ Faith thinks, as she finishes her coffee. _Her husband's an idiot, cheating on her, letting her get away._ Faith stands up, and offers her hand to Joyce, who accepts it. " Ready, " She says. They walk towards the exit, dumping the cups in the trash as they leave.

_Well, I won't make that mistake. Not me!_

They walk slowly down Charing Cross way, neither one in a hurry for this date to end. Their fingers are laced together, and both are a little quiet, lost in their thoughts.

They reach Faith's place, and start up the stoop. They come to her door, and stop.

They look at each other briefly, both feeling a little unsure about what to do next.

" Well, I just need to get the car keys from inside, " Faith finally breaks the silence. " I'm such a dope. I left them on the hall table when I went out this afternoon."

" Faith, " Joyce takes Faith by the shoulders. She looks directly into Faith's eyes. " I just want you to know I had a wonderful time this evening. It was perfect. All of it."

Faith looks back into Joyce's eyes, as if she's trying to find something. Her demeanor turns serious.

" Joyce, I don't want to freak you, but I'd really like to kiss you now." Faith can feel her heart start to beat faster in her chest.

" I think I'd really like that, " Joyce replies. _Oh god, did I just say … mmmm_

Faith slips her hand around Joyce's neck, and guides her into the kiss.

It begins as a soft touch of the lips, then it deepens rapidly as both manage to slip their arms around each other and pull the other closer.

Faith gently caresses the back of Joyce's neck, her other hand sliding down to her hip. She feels an incredible warmth spread throughout her body, and her lips gently caress against Joyce's.

Joyce slips her arms around Faith's waist, and her hands seem to rest comfortably on the small of Faith's back just where her buttocks swell out of her back. Her body is tingling all over, and she feels an unfamiliar dampness between her thighs. _Oh my god she's turning me on! I can't remember the last time I felt … mmmm_

Faith gently presses the tip of her tongue against Joyce's lips, and Joyce opens her mouth, accepting Faith's tongue. Joyce's hand, almost as if having a will of their own, begin to rub over Faith's back.

Faith caresses her tongue over Joyce's, then draws her tongue back into her mouth, and is rewarded when Joyce's tongue, almost shyly, follows. She gently sucks on Joyce's tongue, and that elicits a soft moan from Joyce.

_Oh god, what am I doing? I was supposed to break this off tonight, not heat it up. I should stop, stop now._

_Shut up and enjoy it, moron!_

_No, it's not right, I should stop now._

_BE QUIET!_

Joyce gives into the kiss, and her body presses closer to Faith's. Her hands wander all over Faith's back, encouraging her kiss.

Faith doesn't need much encouragement, and her hand slowly slips off Joyce's hip and up, up, up her side. She gently cups Joyce's breast.

_Oh god that feels so good. So damned good…_

_No, no, no, NO! Can't do this! Not now. Getting out of control. Gotta stop it. _

_In a minute, I'm liking this!_

_NO! NOW!_

Joyce breaks the kiss, panting slightly. She gently disengages from Faith's arms.

" Faith?"

Faith takes Joyce's hands in her own.

" Joyce, " Faith says softly. " Stay with me tonight? Don't go back to your hotel."

_Yes! No! YES! NO! oh god, oh god, oh god!_

" Faith… god, that was some kiss, " Joyce says, voice soft. " But I… I just… I'm not ready … I… it's not that I'm not attracted to you, but I've got responsibilities and kids and …"

_Too soon, stupid! Way too soon!_ Faith smiles, and tries to make light of it.

" Oh, ok. No big. I just thought…"She shrugs. She fumbles for her keys, turning away.

Joyce misinterprets Faith's reaction, thinking she's angry with her.

" Faith, I'm sorry. Really. I just… this is all new to me… don't be…"

" Joyce," Faith turns back, smiling. " It's ok, I get it. You're not ready. I'm not upset. Just let me get my keys, and I'll take you home."

Joyce, however, doesn't' believe her.

"Faith? That's ok. You're already home. I can catch a cab. "

" Don't be silly, Joyce, " Faith's tone rises just a hair, " I'm not letting you take a cab home. That's that."

" Silly is having to drive me all the way back downtown, then driving back here, when it would be easier for me to just get a cab." Joyce turns, starting down the steps. " I'll just call from the phone down by the community center…"

" Ok, now that's just stupid!" Faith bursts out, and runs after her. " Ok, you don't want me to drive you home. I've made you angry, somehow. But at least, call the cab from inside!"

Faith runs ahead of her, and starts walking backwards, facing Joyce.

" I'm not mad, Faith. I just don't want things to get out of control, ok? Just let me get a cab." She stops, and Faith stops. " it's silly for you to make an extra trip to take me home."

" Out of control?" Faith frowns." What, do you think I'd like force you? Don't you trust me?"

" It's not you I don't trust, Faith," Joyce says, " I don't trust me! I have kids and a business and lots of stuff I have to take care of. I don't have time for …"

" Me?"

" No, that's not what I meant!" Joyce says, softening her tone a little. " I… I'm having all these crazy feelings, Faith, and I'm frankly scared, ok? And I just need time to think about it. I can't just jump into something. I'm afraid I'll…"

" What's going on out here?" Patty Malloy, who's been watching Faith and Joyce, opens her door. " Are you two ok?"

" Hi, Patty!" Joyce, seeing an out, starts towards her. " We're fine. I'm just trying to go to the corner to call a cab, and Faith here is trying to drive me home. Which is silly, because she'll just have to drive back."

"Joyce, it's not that far, and I'd feel better if you'd just let me take you back to your hotel…"

" I told you, Faith, it's ok. I can catch a cab. Don't be stubborn!"

" I'm not being stubborn!" Faith protests, " I just want to see you home safe!"

"Faith McKerrigan, you heard the lady. Don't be a horses rear end. You have to get up to work early tomorrow. Let her take a cab, if that's what she wants," She turns to Joyce, " You can use my phone, if you wish, Joyce."

" I really should go and call from the corner. He can't drive up, and I don't want to miss him."

Faith stands listening to this, frustrated and turned on and feeling angry and confused. She pushes all that down, and goes to Joyce.

" Joyce, please. Let me take you to your hotel."

" Faith. Thank you, but no. I'll get a cab," She leans over, and kisses Faith on the forehead. " Thank you for a lovely evening."

" Faith, dear. Say goodnight to your friend," Patty admonishes her.

Faith looks at both women, and knows she lost. She just doesn't know how she did it. She sighs.

" Goodnight, Joyce. Can I call you?"

" Yes, I'd like that," Joyce smiles warmly at her.

Faith looks at her one more time, smiles, and turns towards her house.

_God, I so need a cold shower, _Faith thinks, realizing her underwear is suddenly very wet. _Maybe a tray of ice to go with._

She trots up her steps, and disappears through her doorway.

" I'm so embarrassed," Joyce says, turning to Patty. " We got kind of loud."

" Oh don't be silly, Joyce, " Patty smiles at her.

" Well, anyway, thanks again."

" Where are you going?"

" To call a cab."

" You can use my phone Joyce."

" But…"

" The cab will take at least half an hour to show up. Do you really want to stand around on alone at night, waiting?" Patty smiles at her. " And, I just baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies and made coffee…" She smiles, cocking her head.

" You really know how to tempt a girl, don't you?" Joyce smiles. " Ok, deal."

" Good girl. Now just remember to give the dispatcher my number when you call, and they'll call back when the cab arrives!"

" Thanks, Patty. I appreciate that!" Joyce walks over and climbs up the stairs.

" Think nothing of it, Joyce. That's what friends do," Patty smiles, and opens her door. "And, you can tell me all about your date with Faith."

_Oh boy!_

Faith strips off her clothing, walking to the bathroom to take that cold shower. She stops, and licks her lips. She can still taste Joyce's kiss.

She leans against the sink, facing the shower, and closes her eyes. The kiss comes back like a train, every little bit of it. Her body reacts, flushing and her nipples hardening. She remembers tracing her hand up and gently cupping Joyce's breast. And then felt Joyce stiffen, and pull away.

_Well, as dumb asses go, you're pretty close to the top of the list. God, girl. First date. Sure, hot kiss, but she's not … but boy that kiss… WOW! … even so, you shouldn't have rushed her, and asking her to stay? Major mistake, dopey. Of course she's not ready for that yet. Dummy, dummy, BIG DUMMY!_

Faith opens her eyes, and when she feels a familiar dampness between her legs, she looks down, to see her nipples at attention.

_Aw, crap. Stupid and horny. Never a good combo!_

She sighs heavily. She knows she's going to be taking care of bidness alone this evening. And also knows, it just won't be the same thing.

She steps into the shower, grimacing as the first icy tendrils of water hit her, feeling like tiny knives.

_I'm so screwed!_

4

The next morning finds Joyce rushing around her room, trying to finish her dressing and go. It's nearly 8 a.m., and she's got a lot to do before noon today. She just hopes she can get everything done.

_God, Joyce! Can you spell disaster? Why'd you get so… weird last night. Ok, I know. It's been a long time since you dated. And you've NEVER dated a woman before. But still, the basics apply. You could've handled last night better._

_I hope she's not mad at me. I'm really starting to like this woman. A lot. _

_Like? Is that what you call it these days? _

_Like, like, like!_

_Uh huh. Ok, so how come, when you got back to the hotel room last night, you started thinking about her. And then, well, dear, that was really nice, the masturbation, but I noticed it was her name on your lips when you came!_

_You really are annoying, you know? So I masturbated, so what?_

_3 times? "Oh Faith oh Faith OH FAITH!" _

_SHUT UP! We're just friends._

_Ok, sure. I buy that. But then, I bought Enron stock, too. _

_I hate you!_

The phone on the nightstand rings. Joyce nearly jumps out of her skin. _Ok, now, that's just creepy! Her calling when I'm…ok, calm down, and answer the phone!_

Joyce walks over and picks up the phone.

" Hello?" _God, what am I gonna say?_

" Mom?"

" Buffy? BUFFEE!" Joyce exclaims, smiling, " Honey, Hi! How are you?" Her brow furrows. " It's early there. Goodness, it's not even 5 a.m. yet. What're you doing calling so early?" Joyce frowns. " Is everything ok?"

" Everything's ok, Mom, geeze." Buffy sighs, a little perturbed." I'm calling so early because I've been trying to reach you since last night, but you've been out."

" Why didn't you leave a message?" Joyce asks, " I would've called you back."

" Well, I did… didn't they tell you?"

Joyce brow furrows. She looks at the phone, and sees the message light blinking. _Oh, boy. What's wrong with me? I didn't even SEE that last night. What if something had happened? I was so wrapped up in…_

" Well, sorry honey, I guess I got in late last night, and just collapsed into bed. Big to do over some new artist I'm looking in to. Guess I forgot to check for messages."

" Nice one, mom. What if there'd been an emergency? What if Dawn were sick or something? How could I reach you?" Buffy sounds angry and upset. " When are you coming home, anyway?"

" Buffy, you know I'm working. I have to do this so I have new work for the Gallery. And since when are you so anxious to see dear old mom, anyway? I mean, most of the time you're trying to dodge me so you don't have to acknowledge me to your friends."

" I have to go shopping!"

" Buffy, what?" Joyce is more than clueless.

" For school. You dragged us up to this new place and new school and I'm so not going to school in last years fashion. I'm just not doing it. Why'd we have to move to this place, anyway?"

" Buffy, this is really not the time to discuss this," Joyce says, feeling a headache coming on.

"When, mom? Or even, do we get a vote in this? This was my last year at Hemery. I was going to be a senior."

" You're still going to be a senior, Buffy. Just in a different school."

" Really not the same thing, mom," Buffy says, " All my friends are in L.A. My life is in L.A. Why did I have to come here again? Why couldn't I have stayed with dad in L.A. ? Finish up down there?"

_Other than not exposing you to Hank the Horrible's running around with anything in a skirt?_

"We talked about this, Buffy. You're dad's gone a lot. He travels a lot. He wouldn't be able to be there all the time."

" Like, you are?"

" Buffy, I didn't have a choice. I had to make this trip. This is a one time deal, and I told you that. I'll be back months you start school again. So, I really don't understand this call, honey."

" I miss you mom, " Buffy says in a low voice. " I love Great Aunt Maureen, but I miss you." Her voice gets softer. " And I hate what's going on. I know why I can't stay with dad. You don't have to sugar it up for me, mom. I know what he's been doing…"

" Buffy, " Joyce tries to reach out to her over the phone. _God, I should be there, and not here. What kind of crappy mom am I, anyway?_

" Mom, I just hate this, all of this. Why'd he have to do that? Why did… damn." Buffy starts to cry. " I hate him, Mom. I really hate him!"

" Buffy, honey, no, " Joyce tries to comfort her. " He's made mistakes, but he's still your dad. He loves you, Buffy. He does. Remember that, honey."

" If he cares so much, why isn't he here? Why aren't you here?" Buffy sounds forlorn. " When are you coming home?"

" As soon as I can, honey. I promise." _Ok, strike terrible mom. I'm the worst mom, ever!_

" We miss you mom, really." Buffy tries for a joke, " I mean, who'll nag us without you here?"

" I promise, honey, I'll be home as soon as I can."

" Mom? Is that you?"

" Dawnie?"

" Yeah, mom. Hey, don't buy that crap Buffy's feeding you. She's so totally in trouble with Aunt Maureen. She's been blowing off curfew. And this " All alone" crap? Scammola. She's been dating some guy from Sunnydale high … sooo…"

" Dawn. I'm so gonna get you, " Buffy sounds furious." Dawn's making it up, mom. Really."

" I so am not, Airhead."

" Geek!"

" Moron!"

" GIRLS!"

There's silence on the other end of the line.

" Dawn's a big fat liar, mom. She's just angry because the guy _she_ wanted to go out with went out with me instead."

" You're a big fat liar, Buffy! That so didn't happen, mom. Buffy's trying to wiggle out that she was out til 2 am last night, and was afraid you might've called and she'd be so busted!"

" Buffy? Were you out til 2 a.m. last night?" Joyce asks, feeling tired.

" NO!"

Joyce knows this game, too.

" How late _were_ you out?"

Silence. Long pause.

" 1:30"

" I see. Do I need to say it?"

" Say what?"

" Grounded, you. Two weeks. Starting now."

" No fair! I have a date tonight."

" Not anymore. You call the boy, tell him you've been grounded, and you'll see him in two weeks."

" Mom!"

" Three weeks. Want to go for a month, young lady?"

There's the sound of giggling on the line.

" I'm going to get you for this, Dawnie! I swear I am, " Buffy yells at her sister over the phone.

" Busted, Buff. You're so busted!"

" Dawn, dear. Hang up the phone."

" But Mom! I didn't get to say hi, even!"

" Hi, Dawnie. Now, hang up."

" That… geeze, mom, when're you going to be home?" Dawn asks.

" Soon as I can baby. Now hang up so I can talk to your sister."

" That blows!" Dawn grumbles. There's a click on the line.

" So, I'm grounded?" Buffy asks." For reals?"

" Yes, you're grounded, for reals."

" That blows!"

" Well, maybe you'll keep your curfew from now on."

" Why should I? Who cares? You don't, Dad doesn't…"

" I do care honey…"

CLICK

Joyce sighs, feeling totally helpless. _As if that's new, with my girls._ She almost dials back, then realizes the futility of it. _No good me being here, and they're there. I can't be long distance mom. Just doesn't work._

Joyce sits on the bed, rubbing her temples. Already, today's going so well, and now she has a lot of stuff to do, and is late on top of it.

_Sometimes, I wonder why I even get out of bed?_

Grabbing her purse and coat, she exits the room.

5

Faith stands at her locker, trying to decide where she wants to eat lunch today.

Maybe it's so hard to decide because she's really not very hungry right now. She's still thinking about last night, and that's not making her happy girl at the moment.

_Very nice, Faithy. You probably blew it all to hell last night. Scared her off, big time. God, can't you keep your hormones in check?_

_Yeah, well, she kissed me pretty hard and hot last night. So I lost it a little itty bitty bit. Does that mean she has to get snarky with me, and get all bent when I want to take her home? God, you'd think I'd tried to rape her!_

_No, just take her to a sex shop, introduce her to that skank , Merry, and to an ex, Tina. God, she must think you're a major slut if that's the kind you hang with. What's your problem? Don't you EVER think before you act?_

_One little mistake…_

_One? ONE? Ha! First day, you almost stalk her, freaking her out and she probably wanted to call the police on you. Then, when she does agree to a date, you show up on your motorcycle. Classy, babe._

_I can't help it the car died. I tried to get something else. God._

_Uh, huh. Again, she tries to salvage the evening, even loaning you a skirt so you could get into the restaurant. And SHE pays for it, nice._

_Yeah, well, she agreed to go out with me again._

_I think she must be a masochist. That's all I can figure. So, this last time. You take her out. Dinner, movie. Nice. Everything going just fine. Then, you have to get all huffy, and drag her to Delancy street. WHAT were you thinking? _

_Yeah, ok, bad idea. But did you see how she stuck up for me with Merry? That was sooo cool._

_That's because, she's class, you dope. That lady is 100 genuine, and you took her to a fucking freak show! You wonder why she freaked when you got grabby? You're lucky she didn't haul off and slap you silly. _

_And now, you're all depressed because she's probably read the writing on the wall, and is running in the opposite direction, fast as she can. Can you blame her? You must've looked like a loon! _

_She was digging the kiss. I know she was!_

_Yes, I agree. She was. And if you hadn't grabbed her tit, she probably wouldn't have freaked. Oh, and smooth afterwards. " Stay with me Joyce. Don't go back to your hotel". Nice one. Get it through your skull., Not all the women you date are sluts. This one's different! Stop being… grrr. This whole thing has been a comedy of errors, Faithy. Cut your losses and figure you've blown it._

_She said I could call. I'm going to call. _

_You never learn, do you? She just wanted to get away from you!_

_That's so not true._

_Really? Then why didn't she call the cab from your house? Figure that one out?_

" Faith?" A voice cuts right through her thoughts. " Are you all right?"

_Joyce? Here? Why? _

_Shut up, and act like a grownup._

" Joyce?" Faith whirls around, and not having a good grip on her lunch bag, it goes flying, just missing Joyce.

Joyce ducks it, and comes up grinning.

" You're not angry about last night, are you?" She teases.

_Cool move, brilliant!_

" God, Joyce, I'm so sorry, I didn't hit you, did I?" Faith comes over, and looks.

" Well, if that was pitching tryouts for the Red Sox? Don't give up your day job," Joyce laughs.

_She's not mad. She's not upset. See? You're full of it!_

" Hi, how're you doing?" Faith says, softly." Hey, look, about last night…"

Joyce holds up her hands.

"Don't. Please. I told you, I just wasn't ready, ok? I'm not upset, ok?"

" Uhhh… Ok, " Faith says, knowing not to look at a gift horse's dental records. " So, why're you here?" _Oh, cool. Question a gift of the gods. Brilliant move._

" Well, actually, I brought you something, " Joyce looks at the ground. " You can help me pick it up, seeing how you almost beaned me there."

Joyce bends over, and grabs the long package. Faith scurries around to get the rest. She sets them on the bench.

" So, what is it?" Faith looks at the awkwardly wrapped gifts.

" Well, what fun is it if I tell you what they are? Open them."

Faith shrugs, as if it's all casual, but inside she's like a kid at Christmas. She grabs the long one, and starts to tear off the paper.

Joyce stands back, watching. She smiles as Faith reveals the first gift to be a fine oak artist's easel.

Faith looks at it, mouth slightly open. She touches the wood, and knows it's a good one. Probably cost a lot. Faith looks at Joyce, questioningly.

" Why?"

" Well, I know you love to paint. And I think you're quite good, and don't all the best artists have their own easel?" She smiles. " Anyway, this will allow you to work at home, if you want to. Especially the nudes. You might want more privacy than the community center, you know?"

Faith runs her hand over the polished wood again. She feels tears welling up. _God, nobody ever gave a shit about my painting before. Everybody always thought it was stupid._

" I… I can't. I can't accept this," Faith says, standing up. " It's not right."

" Not right?" Joyce, looking worried, goes over to the easel. She checks it out. " It looks ok to me."

" No, I mean… it's not right, you giving this to me." _I fucking so don't deserve it._

"What? You're an artist. An artist needs good tools to work." Joyce looks at Faith, who's standing a bit away, back to her. " Don't you like it?"

" Oh, god I love it!" Faith turns around, and Joyce sees the tears. " Just, why … I mean… you shouldn't be buying me stuff. It's not right!"

" What? I gave a gift to a good friend. You've been a good friend to me, Faith, these past couple of days. Aren't we friends?"

" Y-Yes," Faith says. " but I thought after last night…"

" Faith," Joyce stands up, going to her. She puts her hand on Faith's arm. " I'm not offended, ok? I just… it's very… look, lets not get silly here, ok? Open the others, please?"

Faith walks over, and picks up a large square package. It's heavy. Tearing off the paper, she sees a box that nearly matches the easel. Opening it, she sees an array of acrylic and oil paints, along with a fresh painting palette.

" Wow, I didn't know there were so many colors…" Faith picks through them, " Ochre? Burnt sienna? Umber?" Faith looks at them, like a kid with a tray of candy. She can't decide which she wants to look at first.

Joyce watches her, seeing her face open up, her expression become one of discovery and wonder. _God, such a little thing, and she's so happy._

" It's… wonderful, " Faith looks up, smiling broadly so her dimples are deep. Joyce can't help feeling all warm inside.

" Open the other one, " She says softly.

Faith opens the package, and a variety of brushes are in a canvas apron, ranging in size from fine detail brushes to canvas wash brushes. Also included are a variety of pens, charcoals, and palette knives.

Joyce hands her the final gift. Faith opens it, it's an artist's smock, deep blue in color. Faith rubs her fingers over it. She touches everything, as if she can't believe it's real. She's got sensory overload; she feels like it's Christmas. She tries to be cool, be casual, but her emotions betray her. Tears start running down her face.

" Hey, hey, they're supposed to make you happy," Joyce says, sitting next to Faith. She puts an arm around her.

" I _am_ happy. This is just so…so…" She looks at Joyce. " Why?"

" You're a good artist, Faith. I think someday, you could be a great artist. If you want to."

" This stuff must've cost a fortune."

" Don't be silly. Anyway, I can write it off as a business expense," Joyce says, " I consider it an investment. You _will_ show exclusively in my gallery, you realize. At least, your first show."

" Show? What? I…"

" Well, not tomorrow, Faith. But I do expect you'll keep it up, and when you're ready… and I have a look at your work… well… I want to be the first to present you to the art world at large, you know?" She smiles at Faith. "Frankly, dear, I'm getting you cheap." She laughs.

Faith looks at the thing Joyce bought her, then at Joyce, and impulsively throws her arms around her, hugging her.

" Faith, Faith!" Joyce laughs, enjoying the girls obvious happiness.

" You're wonderful, you know that? I think you're…" Faith just buries her head in Joyce's shoulder.

Joyce is touched to her heart by Faith's reaction. She had just meant it as sort of a " sorry I got weird" present, sort of making up for acting like a fool last night. She never expected Faith to react so… strongly.

" Faith, if anyone is ' wonderful', it's been you. You've made my stay here in Boston special. You've treated me well, and been a real friend to me. Cheered me up a lot. I'll never forget my time here. Or you."

Faith looks up.

" What? What are you saying?" Faith feels a chill in the pit of her stomach.

" Faith, I have to go. I've been here in Boston a lot longer than I expected to be. I still have to go to New York, then home. I have a family that needs me, and I have a business to get back to."

" You're leaving?"

" Faith, you knew I had to leave sometime. Things are piling up back home, and I can't keep putting them off, " She looks at the younger woman. " I can't tell you how special this time we've had has been to me, or how special a girl you are."

" You're leaving?" Faith repeats, feeling like she's collapsing inside. " When?"

" Tomorrow, Faith. I really need to attend an Art Auction in Manhattan on Sunday, and I need a day to look over the offered pieces. I really have to leave tomorrow."

" Blow it off, " Faith says, looking at her.

" What?"

" Blow it off. Spend the weekend with me. I'm going up to Salem for the weekend. There's going to be a music festival on Sunday. I'd want…no, I need you to come with me. Please, Joyce, come with me to Salem!"

" Faith, no… I can't just blow it off. This is my business, Faith. My reputation as a gallery owner. And I have family, Faith. Family I haven't seen in a couple of months. I can't just run away with you to some music festival. I have responsibilities."

" And, they'll still be there Monday. But spend the weekend with me… I want to get to know you better, Joyce. I need to! Please, come with me to Salem."

" Faith…"

" Don't you like me? Don't you like spending time with me?"

" Yes, of course, "Joyce admits, " I love spending time with you. But I can't just…"

" Why not? Do something impulsive for once, Joyce. Do something a little crazy. You've been wife and mom and business owner for what? 20 years. You're always taking care of your family, or your business. But when do you take care of you? When do you do something you want to do, just because YOU want to do it? Never? When does Joyce get some time off? When does Joyce get her time?"

Without even realizing it, Faith hit the exact thing that's been on Joyce's mind since she started this trip. When _is_ it her time? Not mom time, not wife time, not businesswoman time? But Joyce time? Time when Joyce can have some fun, do something she wants to do, and not feel guilty about it? Joyce, consciously and unconsciously, has been asking herself that very thing throughout this trip.

_So, Joyce. Maybe this is that time. Time you did what you wanted, for once. Maybe this is your only chance. Maybe…_

" Ok," Joyce says quietly, still not believing she's doing this.

" What?" Faith feels her heart start hammering. " Ok?"

" Ok, "Joyce repeats, louder. She nods." Yes, I'll do it. I'll go to Salem with you."

" Really?" Faith almost can't believe it. It was almost too easy. She expected to sit her an hour to argue about it. She looks at Joyce, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

" Yes, really. I'll go. I'd love to."

Suddenly, Joyce is almost bowled over when Faith literally throws herself at Faith, wrapping her in her arms. She kisses Joyce, who's been wanting that kiss since this morning, and not even knowing it.

" I promise," Faith says, after the kiss breaks. " You won't be sorry."

Joyce just looks at her, and smiles enigmatically. _Even if I am, it doesn't matter. I want this. I NEED this!_

" So, ummm…" Faith realizes it's really happening now, and has to work out the details. " I'll pick you up tomorrow? At your hotel? We'll go from there?"

" Sounds good to me, Faith, " Joyce says.

She sits there a minute, still tasting Faith on her lips. She looks at Faith, and smiles shyly.

" Think I could get another one of those?" She licks her lips.

Faith draws her into her arms, giving her a long, wet, warm kiss.

As she feels herself responding, and her mind starts to give into the kiss, a thought crosses it.

_Is this wrong? Am I screwing up here? What if I…_

Then she stops thinking, and just enjoys the kiss.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Raiting: R

Pairing: Joyce/Faith

A/N: This is a Alternate Universe fiction every ones human. Joyce and Faith in a sexual situation. I know it's not fuffy give it a chance anyway you might like it.

Feedback: Yes

Change of Season, Part 4

1

The air has a crisp feel when they hit the Metro station in downtown Boston. It's one of those days that promised to be very pretty; not too hot but not cold, either.

Faith and Joyce wait at the downtown metro station, looking eagerly for the northbound train that'll carry them to Salem. There is a new thing between them, a shy excitement hallmarking a new level to their feelings for each other. They're like kids; gossiping, giggling at times, hand reaching out for each other. Casual 'accidental' touches that aren't always accidents.

Faith is particularly excited about this weekend. She looks forward to this yearly 'pilgrimage' to Salem for the MusicMADness festival. A lot of local bands, some favorites of hers, play there. _Boston T-Party_ an all girl Hip-hop band she sees at the clubs she frequents is a featured act, and other bands she likes, _Bolt Drivers _and _Snare._

Having Joyce along, sharing this with her , just makes it even sweeter. Added that with any luck, things might go to a new place, has her almost buzzing.

Joyce is excited, too. But her excitement is more nervous nature. She feels like she's playing hooky, and feels a little guilty about it. Guilty, and at the same time, loving it.

Joyce is one of those ' super-moms' that seem to find time to do something for everyone else but themselves. Actually taking off for a weekend, being with someone she wants to be with, doing something just because _she _wants to do it is somewhat of an adjustment. _Why not? I mean, I'm always being mom, or Hank's wife, always doing what they need me to do. Well, now I need me to do this. I deserve this. I do!_

Faith, feeling frisky, starts playing an innocent game of grab-ass with Joyce. Joyce, blushing a bit, bats her hand away, but is enjoying the attention the younger woman is lavishing on her. Sometimes, she makes sure she 'misses' Faith's hand, liking the way Faith is eager to touch her. She can't remember the last time someone seemed so eager to do that.

Once in awhile, almost as if cued, they turn and give each other a small kiss. Nothing passionate, they're just friendly soft little kisses showing affection. Sometimes It's just a brief little touch of the lips, sometimes a series of small kisses. Sweet, innocent; like two kids just falling in love. Like they are.

Joyce particularly loves how the younger woman makes her feel. It's been a long time since she's felt this excited about anything. She feels young, younger and more alive than she's felt in a very long time. Standing here with Faith, their hands laced together, she feels free, and naughty, like she's playing hooky. She also knows her feelings are deepening rapidly for this young woman. She never thought in her wildest dreams she would ever feel these kinds of feelings for another woman, especially one so much younger. It's exciting, and at the same time scary.

She covers it well, pretending to be casual, but she's rather conflicted. _Should I be doing this? Is it wrong? I know, I know, my marriage to Hank is over. But there's more to consider. My daughters, my life; can that include her? Would she even want that? I mean, this might just be a little tryst, an affair d' coeur, a weekend to spend with someone she wants to sleep with. Gosh, that's something right there. Sleeping with another woman. Oh for god's sake, Joyce, drop the euphemism. You're talking about sex with another woman. Certainly something I hadn't expected. Ok, maybe fantasized once or twice, but you know, just fantasy. Til now._

" Joyce? You ok" Faith looks at her, noting the faraway look. " You look like you're a thousand miles away or something."

" Huh?" Joyce looks at Faith, startled. Then she smiles." Sorry… " She giggles, " Guess I was woolgathering."

Faith, hoping that it was a nice fantasy involving many warm and naughty thoughts, grabs Joyce's hand. They board the train and find a private little compartment in the forward section. Stowing their luggage in an upper compartment, they settle into their seats as the train starts off .

While the train clatters towards Salem, both women grow reflective. A silence descends. One of those comfortable silences you can share with someone you really like.

Faith steals glances of Joyce, as Joyce stares out the window. For Faith, this is something very new, very exciting.

She feels for the first time in her young life, she's falling in love. Truly, deeply and completely.

_Scary? Beyond scary. Frankly, I hardly know this woman… yet I feel I've known her forever. Every little bit I learn about her, I like, just making me want to learn more. She's like an exotic jewel. Just when you think you know it, you discover another facet, something new; it shows you a whole new side you hadn't considered before._

_Ok, now could I sound any more mushier than that? But this woman is amazing. And she really makes me feel…fuck, I feel like… I feel like she feels like I'm her equal. Not her bitch. Not her boss. Just we are on a par. I dunno. I'm not like long range planner girl. But I so can see us being together in 10 years, 20 years…god I want to spend forever with her. Am I nuts? Oh yeah. About her. Totally._

Joyce stares out the window, not really seeing the scenery. She can see Faith glancing at her occasionally , out of the corner of her eye.

_Ok, am I nuts here? Sure, maybe this'll work for now. Maybe. Though we're absolutely different people. But what happens in 10 years, or 20 years? When she's hitting her prime? I'm just some old lady she's stuck with. So not fair. Not to her. This is wrong. I should end it. Before it gets messy._

_God, do I want it to get messy though. I can't remember when I've felt so…so… ok, Joyce, just say the word. Horny. What is this girl doing to me. I'm mom, I don't get horny. I don't lust after young girls. That's Hank's thing, right? So what'm I doing here, sitting across from this amazingly beautiful woman, and so wanting to see her naked? Is that wrong? Am I like, bad? God, I just wish I knew. All I know is that it kind of makes me a hypocrite. I get on Hank for lusting after young women, but it's ok when I do it? _

_God I just don't know! I don't know, and it's driving me…_

" Pretty isn't it?" Faith speaks up, needing to get out of her head. She puts her hand on Joyce's knee.

" I'm sorry?" Joyce suddenly feels like Faith read her mind. _Pretty? You're gorgeous. Oh my, what's she talking about. Can she see what I'm thinking about? Oh god, I'm so doomed! Does she have any idea what her hand sitting there is doing to me? _

" The scenery, out there, " Faith smiles, pointing out the window. " It's pretty."

" Oh, right," Joyce nods, not acknowledging that she wasn't seeing pretty scenery. Not consciously, anyway. That her mind was on a different kind of scenery. _God, Joyce, you've graduated to Pervert!_

" We used to come this way, my family and me, when we used to go to Cape Ann in summer. We'd spend a couple of weeks there. But this was always my favorite part. I loved the view, the colors, all the stuff. I'd look forward to it all year," Faith gets a nostalgic note in her voice. " Kinda stopped when I turned 15, and came out. My parents? Not at all happy about that. I was sort of ' dis-invited' on the family vacations. At 18, I was dis-invited from the family." Faith tries to keep a light tone to it, but Joyce's keen ears can hear the undertone of sadness. " I guess they didn't like what I am, what I chose to be."

" I like very much what you chose to be," Joyce says, cupping Faith's face with her hands. " I like very much who you are." She leans in a little closer. " You're a very special woman, Faith."

Faith looks into her eyes, and suddenly Joyce finds herself in a serious kiss… and loving it. She feels Faiths' arms wrap around her neck, and her lips caressing and sucking her own. Joyce opens her lips, and lets Faith's tongue slip into her mouth, caressingly teasing her tongue. Joyce, loving the way this girl kisses, start's playing tongue wars with her, seeing whose tongue gets into whose mouth more often. Then the little fires build, and the game shifts, as each just need to taste the other over, and over, and over again.

" Did you mean that?" Faith asks, softly, when the kiss breaks. " That you think I'm special?"

" Absolutely," Joyce says, without a trace of a lie.

" I think you're wonderful, Joyce," Faith says softly, her hands cupping Joyce's face. She begins to kiss Joyce again, and somehow winds up sitting in Joyce's lap as the kiss deepens and heats up. Her hands slip off Joyce's face, down her neck, over her arms, landing on Joyce's sides. Her hands gently caress her sides, getting Joyce's unspoken approval.

She breaks the kiss again, and looks deeply into Joyce's eyes. Then she tilts her head, and leaning over, starts kissing Joyce's neck, soft, wet and decidedly hot little kisses.

Joyce lets out a soft, satisfied sigh, and her hands find their way behind Faith's neck, gently caressing her nape. Encouraged, Faith runs the tip of her tongue along the line of Joyce's neck, to her shoulder.

Joyce feels a waterfall of tingles travel down her body. She gasps slightly, but doesn't pull away. Instead her hands travel down Faith's back, caressing her.

_Oh god,_ Joyce thinks, as Faith's tongue trails down her neck again. _I wonder if she's aware of how that's making me just a little crazy?_ She feels a strong deep low tingle, followed by a definite dampness between her thighs. _God, I can't believe how much she's turning me on!_

Faith moves her hand up on the outside of Joyce's blouse. When she reaches her breast, she gently cups it and squeezes. Joyce emits a loud gasp.

Faith pulls away, moving her hand away from Joyce's breast.

" Too much?" She asks, " I don't want to rush things, Joyce. Really."

" I'm sorry, it was just a little surprising. It's been a long time since anyone wanted to touch me intimately…" _And I'm loving it way too much._" I guess I wasn't expecting it, is all."

" Joyce, I just want you to know," Faith cups her face again, and gives her a tiny kiss on the lips, " I'm all about going your speed, understand? I don't want to rush you, or make you feel you have to do something you're not ready for. This weekend is just about spending more time with you. I like being with you. It doesn't have to be anything more, ok?"

" Faith, it's not that I'm like freaked about this. Ok, maybe a tiny bit, because it's all very new to me. But, it's been a long time since I've been intimate with anyone. Hank and I stopped having sex long before the divorce happened. He just frankly lost interest in having sex with me. I've been celibate for quite awhile now. I'm still trying to get back to active mode." Joyce grins ruefully, " I know it's not like you forget how, it's just…" She shrugs a little.

Faith gets it immediately. She leans in, and kisses Joyce behind her ear. Joyce sighs.

"You think you're not sexy, right?" Faith whispers in her ear. She can feel Joyce nod." Believe me, you're sexy."

Faith gently takes Joyce's hand. Holding it, she slides it over her chest.

"What're you doing?" Joyce asks, a little worried note in her voice.

"Proving something," Faith whispers.

She guides Joyce's hand to her left breast, holding it there. She lets Joyce feel her rapidly beating heart.

"My goodness," Joyce says, sounding amazed. Maybe a little pleased. She feels a strong tingle flow through her, increasing her excitement.

"Uh-huh. That's what you're doing to me, sexy," Faith breathes in her ear softly. She gently guides Joyce's hand to her lips, kissing each fingertip lovingly in turn. She smiles, and releases it.

Joyce takes her hand, and a little hesitantly, moves it towards Faith's breast, touching it timidly. Faith smiles, and leans in. " I love that," She whispers, kissing Joyce's ear.

Joyce, emboldened, gently squeezes Faith's breast, which elicits a happy " oooo" noise. She cups it.

"I love that lots, " Faith purrs, " you can do that all day." She arches her back a little, pressing her breast into Joyce's hand. " See, they don't bite." She giggles.

Joyce smiles, feeling a little silly. She gently rubs her thumb over Faith's breast.

"Mmmm" Faith breathes. She starts kissing Joyce's neck. " God, you're so sexy. You're so turning me on."

Joyce gives Faith's breast another little squeeze, then lowers her hand back to her side.

Faith makes some playful whimpering noises.

"I think maybe we should wait until we have some more privacy," Joyce says, feeling a little giddy and a little fearful at the same time.

"You animal, you. Are you trying to seduce me. Mrs. Summers?" Faith giggles.

Joyce blushes prettily, and Faith kisses her warmly on the lips. She slips out of her lap, and moves back to her side of the compartment.

"I'll be good, but it's hard, " She looks down at herself, "Well, they're hard."

"Hmmm?"

"My nipples, " Faith grins.

"You're terrible!" Joyce almost squeals, somewhat pleased.

"You're not," Faith touches Joyce's knee. " You're wonderful and very sexy."

Joyce feels a strong flush of heat pass through her. _I'm sexy? She thinks I'm sexy!_ Joyce couldn't honestly remember when anyone thought she was sexy.

Joyce realizes again that her feelings for this girl are deepening quickly. She pauses for a moment, wondering if this was right. _Probably not. Probably very wrong. I probably shouldn't feel this way._ Still, she wonders if she could help the way she feels, even if she wanted to?

Probably not.

" Essex Street Station, Salem, in five minutes." A voice comes over the little speaker in their compartment.

"That's us," Faith says, standing up. She grabs their luggage, and they make their way towards the doors.

2

Joyce looks around, wide eyed and a little confused.

"It's a lot bigger than I figured," She says to Faith as they started down Essex street.

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't really know… I guess like a village…" Joyce shrugs, " You know, a main street, some side streets…"

"Well, things have changed a little since 1692, you know," Faith teases her.

"Yeah, you'd think I'd know that," Joyce says, looking this way and that, taking in the sights.

"What're you talking about?"

" Well, since I've been around since then…"

Faith sighs, and stops. Joyce, who's holding her hand, feels the tug, and stops.

"What?" Joyce asks.

"Why do you do that?" Faith looks a little perturbed.

"Do what?" Joyce asks, really not understanding.

"You make this deal about our age difference, " Faith says, "Yeah, ok you're a little older than me…"

"I have a daughter almost…"

"Stop!"

" What?"

"I don't _care_ how old your daughter is. This isn't about her."

"Faith? What's wrong?" Joyce moves closer to Faith. "I'm only kidding around."

"I really wish I could believe that. But I'm thinking this age thing is bothering you," Faith looks at her intently." Is it because I'm so young? Am I like too young?" Faith bites her lip, " do I act like a kid or something…"

" No… well, yes… no… I mean, you're not childish, but you're young Faith, and well, I'm not young… I sometimes think I'm like keeping you from your friends and maybe that's just not right. See what I mean?"

"Don't you like being with me?" Faith can't quite keep the hurt out of her voice.

"Yes, of course I do. But why would you want to hang with me? I mean, c'mon, Faith, I'm like you're mom's age, or close… do you normally hang out with people your parents would know?"

" Joyce, you're not like anyone my parents would know. You're not like anyone I've ever known before. All I know is since I've known you, I've been totally looking forward to time I can spend with you. You're sweet, you have a killer body, you're pretty…" Joyce blushes.

" You know where liars go, Faith."

" You're right, you're not pretty. You're gorgeous, you're funny; you make me feel special. Geeze, you're right. What the hell am I hanging around with someone like you?" Faith chides her gently. "I'm just wondering why you wanna hang with me for. I'm just a dumb ignorant kid from Southie with rude manners and well, I kinda do stupid things, a lot."

"Ok, well, that's just not at all true," Joyce chucks Faith under the chin," Look at me young lady. You're bright, clever, and ambitious. Patty told me what you do at the community center…how you're taking classes to get into college, and I know you're talented, because I've seen your work. You're the gorgeous one Faith… what do you kids call it? Oh yeah, a hottie, right?… yes, definitely a hottie… you've got a lot going for you, Faith, " Joyce says, smiling at her." This last week you've made me feel very special. I can't remember when I've felt so… noticed. Not in a long time. And I'll admit, I love it." Joyce smiles. "I'm just kind of thinking shouldn't you be hanging around with people your own age, Faith? I mean..."

"Joyce, I've hung with people my age. I do it all the time…" She takes Joyce's hands in her own." I want to be with you, Joyce. Is that so hard to believe? I like being with you. When I'm with you I feel good. Really good. I feel like I've never felt before."

_No, no, no! This is very wrong. She can't feel like that, I won't let her feel like that!_

" Faith, what do you know about me? What are you saying?" Joyce almost sounds panicked. She pulls her hands away. Not knowing what to do with them, she starts twisting them.. " You sound like you're… and you can't do that. You can't."

"Joyce, what is it? What's wrong? " Faith says, worried. She can sense Joyce's panic, but misunderstands it. " I'm not going to hurt you, Joyce, I promise. I'm not going to do anything you don't want…"

Joyce shakes her head. " No, you don't understand. I can't let this happen. I won't let it happen."

" Joyce, you're scaring me now," Faith feels ice settling in her tummy. " The weekend? We can go back to Boston, it's ok. We don't have to be here. We can …"

" We can't happen, Faith. Don't you get it? We can't happen."

"Joyce, honey, listen to me. I'm not going to make you do anything…"

" I can't… I can't do this right now… I've got to go…" Joyce runs off, losing herself in the crowd.

Leaving Faith holding the bag. Bags. Literally.

" JOYCE! " Faith yells out, starting to run after her. She gets tangled up in the bags she's carrying and trips, nearly bowling over someone. "Sorry, sorry." She says, getting up.

" It's ok, " The man smiles. " Let me help you with those."

He picks up the bags, and hands them to Faith.

" Here we go, " He says, " sure you got those?"

" Yeah, thanks," Faith says, distracted. She's looking for Joyce but can't see her. " Again, really sorry, but I gotta scoot." Faith moves off, trying to find Joyce.

" Well, isn't this interesting?" The mans mutters to himself, watching Faith disappear into the crowd. " Wonder what Mr. Summers will think of this?"

Whistling, he walks away.

Faith finds Joyce sitting on a bench, hunched over, looking at the ground.

" Joyce? Joy?" Faith stands a little away, afraid to come too close. Afraid she'll lose her again.

Joyce looks up, blushes, and looks back down. But she doesn't move, or look like she's going to run. Faith moves over, sitting on the other end of the bench. She sets the bags down.

" Joyce? Did I do something wrong?" Faith asks, " I'm sorry if I did. But could you tell me what I did?"

Joyce chuckles ruefully. She looks up at Faith with sad eyes.

" I'm really scared, Faith… no, not of you, or what you are or anything that might happen, " Joyce adds, forestalling comment. " My life's all messed up right now. Divorce, moving to a new town, my kids , everything is just so out of whack. And I meet you, and darn it, you're just so… you, fresh and clean and you seem all together and it all seems so simple because I like you right away. You're just so genuine. And so sweet. And … I'm starting to feel a lot more about you, and think about you a lot more, and it's scary Faith, " She stops, and licks her lips. " Scary not that you scare me. Scary because I'm thinking… I'm falling for you and I can't let that happen. My life, all the stuff is way tangled enough. Loving you…and worse, leaving you… because I'm going to have to leave, too soon, and then what? And hurting you, thinking I'll hurt you? God, that's worst of all." She wants desperately to move over, take Faith in her arms and kiss her till her lips are raw, and knows that's not going to help. " and you back there… you sound like you're falling for me, and you're going to get hurt and I can't deal with that. I can't deal."

Faith makes the move, sliding over to Joyce on the bench, and putting her arm around her. She leans in, her face close to Joyce's.

" Can't un-ring the bell," Faith gently strokes her neck." I'm way past the falling stage, Joyce. I'm a big girl, Joyce. I knew the risks."

" So now what?" Joyce asks quietly. She wants to cede control. She's treading water, and just can't find the side of the pool.

" Now…" Faith shrugs, standing up. She goes to the bags, " we go and check in. Then we walk around Salem a little, see the sights." She hefts the bags, waiting for Joyce.

" Are you at all worried?"

" Does it help? Does it make it easier?"

Joyce thinks about that. "No," She admits. She stands up.

"Then what's the point?" Faith starts towards the street. " I'm scared to death, Joyce. You can break my heart in a million ways. But I'm not wasting time worrying about it." Faith starts towards the Inn.

Joyce follows after, brow creased.

_Who's the grown up here, again?_

3

"Oh, goodness," Joyce looks around the suite." This is fabulous"

Joyce wanders around the large suite at the Salem Inn. She notes the one large king sized bed. She turns to Faith, who smiles.

" One bed? Confident, aren't we?"

" It's very big!" Faith, wanting to avoid another panic attack, flounces down on the bed. " Plenty of room, see? Lots of space there for you, and no worry about me being crammed up next to you… if you don't want me to be," she hops off the bed, coming to Joyce. She circles her waist with an arm. " I've got self control, don't worry."

" Geeze, Faith, I'm just kidding," Joyce laughs, kissing Faith on the cheek." It looks comfy."

" It is, go try it."

Joyce walks over, and lays down on the bed. She sighs, and smiles. " I could get used to this, " She wiggles in a bit. " Mmmm."

" And there's a fireplace," Faith grins," outside a little balcony to sit on in the morning…but you gotta see this…" She grabs Joyce by the hand, dragging her to the bathroom.

She flips on the light, revealing a very large Jacuzzi tub.

" That thing's monstrous," Joyce grins. " You could swim in it…" She looks at Faith, a clear smirk on her face. " I'm sure you have ideas about that tub."

" Me?" Faith points at herself, her expression all innocence.

" Sure, I'm buying that innocent look, " Joyce smirks at her. Still, she walks over to the tub, and touches the edges. " And a Jacuzzi… that'll be nice." Joyce imagines sitting in the tub, soaking under the warm water as the water jets hit her. " Very nice." She flashes on an image of her and a very lovely and naked Faith playing on the tub, and that whole body flush hits her. She giggles.

" What?" Faith, smiling, comes over to her.

" Nothing," Joyce says, embarrassed. She stands and walks out of the bathroom, brushing against Faith as she exits.

" I guess we should change if we're going to this concert of yours," She looks ruefully at her skirt and flats. " I'm thinking mom dress isn't appropriate for this music?"

" Yeah, it's called MusicMADness. I'm thinking, not tea party music," Faith makes a little comical face, looking over Joyce's conservative dress. Joyce blushes.

" I've got jeans and more 'appropriate' wear here," Joyce says, pulling some stuff out of her case." What about you?" She glances at Faith's clothing. " I don't think that'll fit in, do you?". Faith is also somewhat conservatively dressed.

" Don't worry about me," Faith says, moving to her own suitcase. She pulls out a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Throwing them on the bed, she starts to unbutton her blouse.

" I'll just go dress in the bathroom, " Joyce strides quickly to the bathroom, shutting the door.

" Geeze, Joyce," Faith mutters. " not like you've got anything I've never seen before." She shakes her head and chuckles over Joyce's modesty.

Joyce is still feeling the effects of the panic attack she had earlier. Undressing in front of Faith makes her feel a little … nervous. She feels more secure behind a nice solid door. Sighing, she begins to undress.

_Not even a little peek, Joyce? So not fair!_ Faith starts pulling off clothes. _Come on, Faith. Be fair. She's still shivery over this afternoon. Give her a break._

Unlike Joyce, Faith is very comfortable in her skin. Naked, she realizes it might be nice to have a cab to take them to Salem common, so she walks over to the phone and makes the call. She stands there, hip thrust out, chatting with the desk clerk.

Joyce looks in the mirror, giving herself an inspection. _Not too bad, Joyce. A little older, a few wrinkles. Gosh… look at those._ She frowns, staring at her stretch marks. _Not so pretty, Joyce._ She turns around, trying to check out her bottom. _Hmmm… I really should think about starting up with a gym. Getting a little hippy there, Joyce._

" How's it going in there, Joyce?" Faith calls out, walking back to the bed. "Almost finished?"

" Fine…fine," Joyce calls back, " almost done." Joyce rushes her own dressing.

" Hurry up, and we can catch a few sights before we go to the concert," Faith calls back, picking out her clothes.

Faith is just slipping into her panties when Joyce comes out of the bathroom. She smiles at Joyce.

" Nice," She says, giving Joyce the once over.

Joyce, fully dressed in jeans, T-shirt and tan desert boots is confronted by the nearly naked Faith. She blushes hotly.

" Oh g-goodness, " Joyce stammers. " I didn't realize you… sorry… I'll go back in the…" She turns to return to the bathroom.

" Joyce, Joyce, " Faith calls out, going to her. " Hey, it's ok, really." She touches her arm, and smiles reassuringly. _I really don't mind you looking at me honey. I'm so hoping you like what you see._

Joyce does, and is very embarrassed by it and by the fact that Faith is standing next to her nearly naked. She feels like she should be wearing a raincoat and offering her candy. _Gosh, when did I get to be a pervert?_

" Really, Faith, I'll just wait in here until you're dressed…" She turns away, towards the wall.

" Joyce, don't be silly, " Faith pats her, and turns back toward the bed. " We're all girls here. Surely I don't have anything you haven't seen every day." She's enjoying the fact that Joyce is studiously staring at the wall, but occasionally looking at her, blushing furiously and turning away. Faith draws dressing out a little, doing it a bit more sensually and making it seem a little naughty. _God, she's so sweet_ Faith shakes her head.

" You look very nice, Joyce, " Faith says, pulling on her jeans. " Like the look."

" I thought this would work," Joyce says, smiling. She turns to Faith, a little relieved she's almost dressed. She can't help noticing that Faith's jeans are almost molded to her body. _God, to be young and have hips like that, _Joyce sighs, with a touch of envy.

Faith pulls on a top, a cut-off tee shirt exposing her belly and the belly ring she's wearing.

_Gosh, I hope Buffy doesn't get into piercing. I have to admit, it looks sexy on her, though._

" So, ready to go?" Faith asks, noting Joyce's interest in her belly ring. _Hmmm… I'm beginning to wonder if she's as shy as she seems. _Faith walks over and gets her jacket. She walks over to the door, and saunters out into the hall.

" Sure," Joyce replies, noticing Faith's walk has taken on a little extra bounce. _She couldn't have seen me looking at her belly ring, could she? No, that's silly._ Grabbing her jacket, she follows Faith out of the room.

4

They spent the next few hours taking in the sights of Salem.

Faith, having been to Salem a number of times, took the lead, and took Joyce around Salem's common, home to such sites as The Salem Witch Museum, where a number of exhibits depict the incidents of 1692 trials and the changing perceptions of witchcraft; The House of Seven Gables, made famous by Nathaniel Hawthorne in the story : The Witch house, with it's somewhat gloomy aspect, home to John Corwin, one of the magistrates that oversaw the witch trials. The Peabody-Essex Museum, with its variety of local art and collections, and a variety of historical sites fronting the large city square.

Joyce was a little overwhelmed; born and raised in California, where history is measured in decades, seeing century old buildings and history up close and personal was somewhat a new experience. She began to connect to a history that before had only been experience through books and movies.

" So, what do you think?" Faith asks, looking at Joyce.

" I think I'm still trying to process it all, " Joyce admits. "It never seemed as real before."

They're sitting across from the Witch House. The place had a fascination for Joyce, not a pleasant one, however. _Hard to think that so many people died because of the hysteria brought on by a bunch of repressive church leaders and greedy, self righteous citizens. And to think one of the leaders of the trials lived there._ Joyce shudders.

She feels a hand cover her own, and she looks up to see Faith staring at her with concerned eyes.

" You ok?" Faith asks. " You look a little freaked."

" I'm ok. Just thinking what happened here … seems so stupid now." She looks at Faith. "How could people be so… foolish?"

"You'd be surprised," Faith has a small edge to her voice. " It hasn't changed all that much."

"I'd like to think we've come a long way since then, " Joyce nods at the Witch House.

" I dunno, Joyce," Faith's mouth is a tight line. "People are pretty stupid when it comes to something they don't get." She looks off across the street. "They can still do some hurtful things."

Joyce turns to Faith, seeing the grim line of her mouth, and a tightness around her eyes. _She's probably been the target of some pretty hurtful things,_ Joyce feels an anger at the thought that surprises her. She reaches over, covering Faith's hand.

Faith looks at her, smiling brightly.

" Hey, we better move, pretty lady, if we're gonna make that show." She gets up, and holding onto Joyce's hand, starts off.

" Where?" Joyce, feeling herself being dragged along…_ and strangely loving it. What's with me?_ … ,

" Salem Willow's park. Up off Fort avenue, near the ocean. Real pretty, and it has a neat place for the bands," Faith grins. " Ready to rock, baby?" She winks, and turns, pulling Joyce along

Joyce smiles, seeing the pure exuberance of this beautiful girl.

_Maybe I am, Faith. Maybe I am._

The place is packed.

Joyce and Faith, after giving their tickets to the collector, walking in through the bandstand gates, to be greeted by a sea of people; a plethora of ages and styles, ranging from old hippies…_ God, I feel old_, Joyce thinks, looking at them… to punks, metal heads, grunge , hip hoppers… in short, just about every style you could imagine. All packed together waiting for the show to start. Over the bandstand was a large banner announcing " MusicMADness East… an Old Fashioned Battle of the Bands"

" Old fashioned?" Joyce sighs. " ok, now I'm ready for my Geritol."

" Aw, c'mon, Joy," Faith leans in, and gives her a squeeze on the ass." You're the hottest girl here."

" Faith!" Joyce blushes, but smiles broadly

They try to push their way through the crowd, making their way forward. But it's like swimming upstream. Finally, figuring they're as close as they're going to get, they try to keep the crush from crushing them.

" So, what's going on, Faith?" Joyce turns to her companion," What's this about a battle of the bands? I haven't been to one of those since High school… back when they were still using stone tablets…"

"You're just never gonna let that go, are ya?" Faith says, teasingly." They have this every year. It's always sponsored by some big record label, looking for new acts. I think this year it's Elektra. Anyway, the bands compete, and the winner wins a contract. Kinda cool because you get to hear all sorts of shit." She grins wickedly. " You do like Rock and Roll, don't ya Joy?"

" Oh sure, we played it all the time, " Joyce smiles. "We'd get big old rocks, and go up a hill, and roll them down it…" She deadpans.

" Funny. She made a joke," Faith wrinkles her nose. " Well, I can see the stoners have started up."

Joyce sniffs the air, and smiles. " Yeah. Smells like primo stuff." She grins.

" Joyce! You surprise me, you dawg!" Faith pats her back.

" What, did you guys think you invented pot?"

A pair of heavily ringed hands appear over Faith's face. They're attached to arms with leather cuffs, and those attached to a youngish girl, with blonde hair buzz cut around her ears. She sticks her head on Faith's shoulder and whispers. " Hey, bitch, long time."

" Hey, Rude," Faith grins.

" Aw, ya knew!" The hands disappear and the girl squeezes in next to Faith. "That's no fun!"

" Joyce, want you to meet an old bud of mine. Joyce, this is Rude. Rude, Joyce."

" Rude?" Joyce asks, a little taken aback.

" Her name is actually Ruth, but my girl here hasn't gone by that ever since she went punk on us."

" Punk is life, baby," Rude says.

Rude is a slender blonde, maybe a year or two older than Faith. Her hair, as described, is cut short and punk style… lots of spikes, buzz cut around the head. Both ears have multiple studs, and she has a lip ring on the lower left corner of her mouth, and an eyebrow ring on her right eyebrow. She's wearing lots of dark eye liner and shadow, and has almost black lips and nails.

" Well, it's nice to meet you, er… Rude" Joyce offers her hand.

Rude just looks at it, arches a brow and smirks. " You're kidding, right?"

Faith frowns, but Joyce just shrugs. " Guess I am," She withdraws her hand.

" Nice, Rude, " Faith grumbles, "So, what's up?"

" Just came to see the show, like you," Rude says, giving a glance over of Joyce. " Nice piece. She hot?"

" Wouldn't you like to know? " Faith says, her tone not all that friendly.

" Ah, well, I can see someone's all pissy, " Rude grins. " Still, wouldn't mind sharing…" She gives Joyce a salacious look, and licks her lips.

" Sorry, Rude," Faith moves towards Joyce. " Where's Jan?"

"Around, " Rude says, a little sullenly. " I'm not her bitch."

" Oh?" Faith finger's Rude's collar," seem I remember she gave you this."

" Hey, I'm my own girl."

" Yeah, better not let Jan hear that. She'll boot your ass to the curb…after caning it."

" Puh-lease," Rude waves her hand. " I'm nobody's bitch." She looks around, " anyway, gotta go. Let me know if you change your mind," She ogles Joyce again, " could be fun."

Rude squeeze through the crowd.

"Well, she certainly lives up to her name," Joyce smiles.

" Yeah, she's kinda skanky, but we're kinda old friends….sorta," Faith isn't smiling.

"What was that about the collar?"

" Oh, well. Rude is a submissive. Jan is her Top."

" Huh?"

" Top… boss… her mistress."

" Mistress?" Joyce looks puzzled. " I don't get it."

" Ummm… well, they… geeze, look, Joyce. It's kind of like Jan owns Rude. Jan controls her, Rude's her… I dunno… servant? Jan takes care of her, and on the other hand, Rude makes sure to take care of Jan… get it?"

" I guess…" Joyce really doesn't.

" You remember the whips and handcuffs and stuff we saw at the shop on Delancy street?"

Joyce nods.

" Some people use that stuff, for reals. They get off on it."

" Really?" Joyce looks amazed." People really like that stuff?"

" Some do." Faith shrugs.

" So…" Joyce asks, fascinated. " do you? I mean, are you like a …top?"

" Huh?" Faith looks at her. " No, not my thing." She makes a face.

" Oh, ok," Joyce says. _Whew._

The music starts up, and soon everything is forgotten as the concert gets into full swing.

All sorts of music is played: Retro bands, punk, metal, classic, hip hop, new wave, grunge, techno, rap… almost every genre is covered.

Despite the crowding, there's a lot of dancing and moving going on, and Joyce is really getting into it. It's all going very well until the last third of the concert, when the metal thrash bands start up.

Joyce notices some of the people around them start leaping and crashing into each other.

" Faith, what's going on?"

Faith looks around, and gets an ' uh-oh' look on her face.

" Damn. We're in a pit. I didn't even notice," She says, looking around for a way out.

" Pit?"

" Mosh pit. The kids in the pit start slamming. It's a thing." She starts pushing on her neighbors. " Hey, guys, let us through. We don't belong here."

" Slamming?"

At that moment, a dancer slams into Faith, knocking her back into Joyce.

" Hey, watch it! Not part of this!" Faith growls. " You ok?"

" What's this about?"

" Just, these kids get together in circle, and slam dance into each other…" Faith starts pushing to the side. " I didn't know we were in a pit…" She yells out. " HEY. CAN YOU MOVE? WE WANNA GET OUTTA HERE!"

Faith, followed closely by Joyce, tries to push her way out. But they're surrounded by a wall of bodies, and the people around them are slamming, not noticing them.

" HEY!" Joyce yells, feeling herself being lifted.

" WHAT THE…" Faith shouts, also lifted.

Slowly, hand by hand, they're crowd surfed out of the pit, over to the edge of the crowd. They wind up towards the back, on the ground and back on their feet.

" Damn," Faith curses. " Sorry about that, Joyce." She frowns.

Joyce is laughing, however.

" That was neat," She grins at Faith. " ok, a little grabby at times, but still…" she laughs. " I think it was pretty cool."

Faith shakes her head. She expected Joyce to be angry and upset, and here she was laughing, enjoying herself. _I'm never gonna figure her out. But I hope I got a long time to try._

" Hey, what say we blow outta here?" Faith says, " Dunno bout you, but I've had enough of crowds today.

" Sure, Faith, whatever you want to do"

Half an hour later finds them walking down by Derby Wharf in Salem harbor.

They walk hand in hand, just enjoying each other's company. Off at sea, the sun is putting on it's own nightly show, sinking into the horizon, the sky painted in hues of red and lavender and pink. The water itself takes on a cast of burnt gold, and everything is signaling the end of another day.

" It's really pretty, isn't it?" Joyce says, looking out over the ocean at the sunset.

" Gorgeous," Faith says, almost with a whispered awe. " I kinda wish I had my paints with me. I'd love to try to paint it."

Joyce turns to her, and sees the fading light reflected off Faith's face. _Beautiful,_ she thinks, looking at the young woman's open awe. _So beautiful._

Joyce has a sudden epiphany, feels something click into place within her. Watching face, her lips slightly parted, her face colored by the light of the sunset, she realizes how right it is, being here. How right being _with_ her is. She realizes that she wants more now. Maybe, needs more now.

" Faith?" She says softly.

Faith turns to her, a smile on her face, her eyes lit by the light of the sunset. Joyce feels her heart skip a beat, then start hammering faster.

" Joyce?" Faith asks, seeing her face. " Is everything ok?"

" It's perfect," Joyce says softly. " Can we go somewhere and talk?"

" Sure," Faith's brow creases. She senses now would be a time not to say anything more. Taking Joyce's hand, she leads her down the beach, and to a secluded spot. They sit on an old log, next to each other. Without thinking about it, they're arms go around each other , and they kiss.

" Not much talking getting done," Faith teases Joyce. Her face grows serious as she looks into Joyce's eyes. "What did you wanna talk about?"

" Ummm…" Joyce, getting to this moment, suddenly feels her mouth go dry.

" Would it be easier if we weren't hugging each other?" Faith asks.

" No, that actually makes it easier, the hugging, I mean," Joyce finds her voice. " Look, I've been thinking, a lot. Today especially, but really for awhile. And… uhhh… I really like you, Faith. A lot."

" I was noticing that with my lips," Faith teases her.

Joyce giggles softly, " Look, I'm kinda nervous here, Faith. This is all new to me…" She licks her lips, "thing is, I like you a lot… ok, that's a lie… I think it's more, Faith. Oh dear, this is really, really hard…"

" It's ok, Joyce," Faith feels her heart start to hammer in her chest. She keeps an outward calm." Take your time."

" I've been thinking about you a lot, ok? And I'm… I think I'm there now, Faith."

" Huh?" Faith asks, a little confused." Where?"

" I'm ready, Faith, " Joyce leans in a little, " I want to go to the next level."

Faith feels her heart start hammering very hard in her chest. Her normal cool is blown, just a little.

" R-Really?" She looks into Joyce's eyes, seeing the warmth and affection there. " Are you sure?"

Joyce answers by pulling Faith closer, and kissing her.

This isn't their normal kiss. The fires, that have been banking in both women are stoked by the white hot wind of desire, and the kiss quickly turns very hot, very passionate. Tongues are exchanged, little soft noises and whimpers emit from both of them, and hands start to explore and grope each other.

" Joyce," Faith says low, her voice throaty, almost sultry. That one word speaks volumes of desire and subtext.

" Faith, I want you so much," Joyce breathes, her own body lit by fires she hasn't felt in ages.

They kiss again, their passions lit. Hands slip into new places, the soft noises grow louder, lower.

" Maybe," Faith pants, her whole body tingling wildly, " Maybe we should go… get something to eat?"

" Maybe," Joyce agrees. She's very aware that if this goes on much longer, they'll probably wind up naked on the beach, and while that sounds romantic, it's cold, and being spotted humping like bunnies? Not something she wants. She stands up, holding out her hand for Faith. She notices she's very wet between her thighs, and her knees feel weak. _God, I'm so turned on!_

They walk away, back towards town, arms around each other's waist.

A man slips out of the shadows, and checking the review screen on his digital camera, smiles. He watches the women walk away, and raises the camera, taking another shot of them.

" I think Mr. Summers will be real pleased with these," He says softly, turning and walking the opposite way.

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5

A Change of Seasons, Part 4b

5

The two women, giggling and laughing, open the door to the guest house where they're staying. The pause in the doorway for a long, languid kiss, hands caressing each other fondly and intimately. Breaking the kiss, they make they're way up the stairs to their suite.

Upstairs outside their suite of rooms, Faith unlocks the door with her key card, and they enter.

Joyce looks at the bed, seeing the tray with Champagne and chocolates on it. She turns to Faith, a teasing little smile on her face.

" You little minx. Now I know why you slipped away to make that call. You bad girl, " She walks over to Faith, putting her arms around her. " What'm I going to do with you?"

"Hmmm," Faith smirks. "I got some ideas"

They kiss hotly, hands starting to fumble with each other's clothing. Buttons get popped, and things get pulled and ripped as each tries to set a new lands speed record getting each other undressed while in a major lip lock. Finally, giggling, realizing the futility of it, they step back from each other, deciding to undress themselves.

Faith pauses, watching as Joyce gets undressed, lust gleaming in her eyes.

Joyce has a classic swimmer's body; pert breasts, long torso and long legs. She's showing some maturity: Her hips are wider, her waist thicker than when she was Faith's age, and her rear end is a bit larger than she likes, but all in all she is still a very appealing woman.

Noticing Faith staring at her, she turns away, blushing.

"What, honey?" Faith says, coming over to her. She notices Joyce trying to cover up her stomach. " What is it?" She pulls away Joyce's arms

She notices Joyce's stretch marks. " Is this it, baby?" She rubs her hands lightly over Joyce's stomach. " I think they're sexy. Means you've had kids. How beautiful is that?" She blushes, and looks down. " I'd like to have kids someday… don't think it'll be happening…"

"Now, that isn't necessarily so, Faith," Joyce says, coming over and pulling Faith closer," these days, you can have kids without sleeping with a guy. Artificial insemination… you could even adopt if you wanted…" She looks at Faith's body.

Even through the clothing, she can tell Faith has a more sensually, voluptuously curved body.

" You've got what my mom used to say as being birthing hips. Nice and round ." She hugs Faith. " It really could happen."

" Yeah… but I want to find the right partner first," Faith looks at Joyce. " Maybe I have," She whispers softly.

" You're so sweet," Joyce cries. She pulls Faith close, kissing her.

They stand like that awhile, kissing warmly, loving the way they feel against each other.

"Wait, wait," Faith gasps, the kiss leaving her breathless. " There's more."

" More?" Joyce asks.

Faith takes her hand, and leads her to the bathroom. Turning on the light, she leads her inside.

Joyce first notices the smell of peach wafting through the air. Looking down, she sees the Jacuzzi filled and swirling. She smiles.

"That looks wonderful," She walks over and sticks a toe in the water." Perfect."

Faith watches her, feeling all sorts of tingles watching the nude Joyce move. _God, does she even realize how incredibly hot she is?_ Faith grabs one of the robes hanging on the door, putting it over her arm.

" You're still dressed. Aren't you coming in?"

" In a bit, babe. I just want to get some stuff." Faith says, disappearing back in to the room.

Joyce watches her go, thinking she's incredibly sexy, even clothed. She grins, a little libidinously, _Just got to love the way her body fills those jeans,_ she snickers, watching Faith's ass sway.

Walking to the edge of the tub, she steps in, lowering herself into the warm water. A happy sigh escapes her, and she leans back, letting the water cover her to her neck. She wiggles her toes, and feels her muscles start to relax. She luxuriates in the peach scented water as her tensions start to float away. She languidly kicks her legs, liking the way the jets of the Jacuzzi feel against her skin.

Faith walks in, clothed in the robe that barely covers her hips. It's fairly obvious she's wearing nothing beneath it. She's carrying a tray containing the champagne, two glasses and the chocolates. She stops, watching Joyce relax in the water. She feels a strong quiver in her mound, and her nipples definitely come to attention. She walks over to the tub, and sits on the edge handing Joyce a glass of champagne.

" Thought this might go nice with," She smiles, sitting close to Joyce's head.

"Thank you," Joyce looks back and up. She smiles, noticing Faith's current state of undress._ Hmmm, very nice, _she thinks as she sips her champagne, enjoying the warmth of the tub enveloping her, and the soft bubbles in her mouth. She licks her lips, and takes another sip. " Aren't you coming in?"

Faith is idly playing with Joyce's hair, running her hands through it.

" I thought maybe I'd like to wash your hair?" She says quietly, her hand trails down, brushing against Joyce's neck. Joyce feels some sweet tingles run through her body.

" That would be nice," Joyce moves closer to Faith, her head laying on her thigh.

Faith reaches over Joyce to get the shampoo and conditioner, and Joyce gets a definite sweet view of Faith under her robe. She feels shivers and feels a little naughty. She wonders how this girl makes her so excited about looking at her, being with her.

Faith with Joyce's consent grabs the sprayer near the faucets gently leans Joyce forward, wetting down her hair. She then puts a generous amount of shampoo in her hand, and slowly begins to work it into Joyce's hair and scalp.

" Oh, that's so nice, " Joyce sighs softly, loving the feel of Faith's hand massaging her head and scalp. " you do that very well." She giggles, " you've done this before, haven't you?"

" Maybe," Faith smiles, running her fingers through Joyce's hair. Pushing her up gently, she holds up Joyce's hair and kisses her softly on the nape of the neck, getting a 'groan ' out of Joyce. She rubs the nape, Joyce signaling her approval by wiggling her shoulders and arching her neck backwards.

Faith moves her hands down to Joyce's shoulders, and begins to massage them. Joyce leans her head back, loving the massage. She makes happy cooing noises. Faith leans over, and lightly kisses her neck.

" You're being awfully sweet," Joyce smiles happily, looking up at Faith.

Faith gently pushes her forward, and starts rinsing the shampoo out of Joyce's hair. After she finishes, she leans Joyce back so she's laying her head on Faith's thigh. Faith leans over and kisses her. Joyce kisses her back, eagerly. Faith lets her hand slip down over Joyce's chest, brushing against Joyce's nipples. Joyce gasps, surprised, then arcs her arm around Faith's head, holding her in the kiss. Faith, encouraged, strums her palm over Joyce's chest. Joyce whimpers, kissing her more intensely.

Faith breaks the kiss, and withdraws her hand. Joyce looks as if she just lost her favorite toy. Faith laughs softly.

" Hold on, greedy," She teases her, " We still have to condition."

She begins to work the conditioner into Joyce's hair, again rubbing her scalp. Joyce murmurs her approval, and Faith moves her fingers down, stroking her neck.

" You're being such a tease," Joyce murmurs, " Do you have any idea how excited your getting me?"

Faith leans over Joyce, checking out her erect nipples. " Oh, a little. Unless you're cold, baby." She laughs.

" You're bad, you know that?" Joyce complains, smiling.

" Oh, yeah" Faith pushes her forward, " now, let me rinse out the conditioner."

Faith uses the spray to get all of the conditioner out of Joyce's hair, and comes through the locks with her fingers. Finally she brings Joyce's head back to rest on her thigh, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

" There, all done," She says. She reaches down and gives Joyce's breasts a little squeeze, eliciting a pleased gasp.

" If the shampoo girl was as good as you, I'd probably tip her 50 bucks," Joyce giggles.

" IF the shampoo girl did what I did, I'd probably be jealous," Faith teases. She takes Joyce's glass, and refills it, handing it to her.

She sits there for awhile, idly stroking Joyce's hair.

" Are you ever getting in and joining me?" Joyce, feeling a tiny buzz from the wine, complains. "I mean, you get to see me in all my glory. When do I get to see your cute little body?"

Faith smiles wickedly. She leans over Joyce. " Oh, you didn't get a good look this morning, then?"

Joyce blushes a nice shade of deep pink.

" I…I…"

" Shhh, " Faith giggles, " I wanted you to look at me. I like you looking at me" She leans over, " So, did you get a good look?"

" It was nice. I mean, you looked nice… oh, my…" Joyce feels so very embarrassed and silly.

" Nice? Just nice?" Faith stands up, and untying the belt, let's the robe slither off her. " You don't think I'm pretty?" She does a slow turn for Joyce, thrusting out her best assets.

_No, not pretty. Gorgeous, stunning, good god I'm getting all hot over a girl… very nice ass…_

" You're very beautiful, Faith," Joyce says, then smirks." And you're quite aware of it, I'm sure." There's a definite lusty quiver in her voice.

" Maybe, " Faith says, giving her ass a little wiggle, "Still, a girl doesn't mind hearing it again." She walks over to Joyce. She squats down by her head, her thighs on either side of her ears. " So, I was wondering…" She leans over, kissing Joyce softly on the lips. "… if maybe you want company in there?"

Joyce can't help but feel a little nervous, being confronted so up close and personal with Faith's mound. Nervous, and excited, and somewhat tingly, because she can smell Faith's growing arousal. _Am I doing that to her?_ She feels somewhat pleased. And somewhat aroused herself.

" You better get your ass in here, " Joyce says, a little hoarsely. Then blushes. " Oh my, did I just say that?"

Faith laughs, her body bouncing just a little. " Oh yeah you did. You're so commanding. I like that"

Taking the invite, she slips into the water, moving over to grab the liquid soap and sponge. She returns to Joyce, smiling. " Hi."

"Hi," Joyce says, feeling suddenly shy again, confronted by the very naked Faith. She takes a large swallow of her champagne.

" Don't worry, Joyce, " Faith says softly and soothingly, " Not going to hurt you. If I do anything that makes you feel uncomfy, just say so. I'll stop." She opens her arms, " now, please come here."

Joyce, feeling nervous and giddy, like a schoolgirl on her first date, shyly comes over and slips into Faith's arms. Faith leans her chin on Joyce's shoulder. She whispers into Joyce's ear." You're very beautiful, you know, " Faith says , kissing her ear.

Joyce shivers in pleasure.

" Is it ok if I wash you a little?" Faith asks softly.

" I'd like that," Joyce says, feeling very warm and safe in Faith's arms. She leans back against Faith.

Faith pours some liquid soap on the sponge, and starts rubbing the sponge over Joyce's shoulders and upper chest. Joyce wiggles back into Faith, getting more comfy, loving the feeling. She sighs happily. Faith gradually moves the sponge lower, soaping between her breasts, then moving it over and gently rubbing it over her breasts and nipples.

Joyce feels strong tingles run from her breasts to her crotch, and she gasps , sighing deeply. She turns to Faith.

" What are…" Faith cover's Joyce's mouth with her own. "… mmmm" Joyce gives into the kiss willingly, feeling Faith's tongue invade her mouth.

Faith continues to run the sponge over Joyce's breasts, eliciting a soft moan from Joyce.

The kiss breaks, and Joyce, feeling wonderful, allows her head to loll back onto Faith's shoulder.

" That feels … so… nice." She sighs, her nipples achingly hard." Please do that more," She whispers, as she feels a strong quiver in her pussy.

Faith complies, rubbing the sponge gently over Joyce's breasts. Joyce leans back, in heaven.

Faith leans in, and they kiss. A very passionate kiss, Joyce expressing her growing excitement. There tongues dance together, moving from mouth to mouth, caressing and making love to each other. Little moans and whimpers could be heard from Joyce as Faith continued to manipulate the sponge over her breasts.

" You make me feel so good," Joyce breathes, leaning against Faith when the kiss ends. She becomes very aware of Faith's breasts against her back, and feels Faith's crotch pressed against her rear.

Faith lets go of the sponge, letting it float on the water as she uses her hands to caress Joyce's breasts. She cups them, holding them gently but firmly, and uses her thumbs to massage the nipples and areolas. Joyce's body moves, almost unconsciously, reacting to Faith's stimulations.

Joyce turns her face towards Faith again, and again they kiss, Joyce putting passion into the kiss. Her arm comes up, and she cups Faith's head, kissing her heatedly.

She leans her head next to Faiths when the kiss ends. Faith retrieves the floating sponge, adds another squirt of soap, and begins to wash down Joyce's body. Joyce sighs, and leans into Faith, enjoying the sensual pleasure of Faith bathing her.

Faith moves the sponge around, carefully avoiding her mound. She washes her tummy, her thighs, and her side, all getting approving little coos from Joyce. When she finally moves it to lower center, Joyce gasps.

" Is this ok?" Faith asks, softly

" Y-Yes," Joyce says, unused to the sensations flooding her.

" Joyce, listen to me," Faith moves her hand up, rubbing Joyce's tummy.

" Yes?" Joyce says, a small whimper in her tone. She misses that touch.

" I love you Joyce, " Faith says, frankly, " I adore you. I think I fell in love with you that first day I saw you in the museum, how you took command so casually, without thought, all to make me not look like a fool." She leans in, " you're a phenomenal woman Joyce, Let me love you."

" Faith," Joyce turned, trying to see Faith's face. " I'll admit, I have feelings for you. Strong feelings. I don't know if it's love or not, though. I know I care about you, and don't want to hurt you."

" I know, I'm not asking you to love me right now, all I want is that you be open to it, ok? Don't let the fact that I'm a woman exclude you from loving me…"

" I won't, Faith," Joyce says softly, " I care about you, and love being with you. You touching me is fantastic. I didn't consider the whole gender thing. You just … oh man, ok, maybe I am a little in love with you, Faith. You make me feel like I can't remember ever feeling… is that bad?"

The smile on Faith's face, the look of love in her eyes, all say that her heart thinks it's wonderful. " That's not bad at all, " She says.

She slips her hand down, and starts to gently strum her fingers over Joyce's slit. " Do you like that? Does it feel good?"

" Oh, god, it's wonderful, " Joyce's breath comes out in pants. " Kiss me?"

Faith leans in, and Joyce brings her arm up around her head. They share a deep, passionate kiss. Tongues fly between their mouths, each seeking loving attention. Faith slips a finger between Joyce's swollen lips, and Joyce gasps softly into her mouth.

As Faith gently pumps her finger in and out of Joyce's vulva, her thumb touching and teasing Joyce's clit, her other hand comes up, and begins to love play with her breasts, touching them, teasing the nipples, pinching, rubbing, caressing. Joyce moans softly into Faith's mouth, her eager kiss expressing her delight and approval.

Joyce's emotions begin to mix and swirl with the physical sensations Faith is giving her. Her heart beats fast in her chest, and her breath comes in shallow pants. Inside, her feelings are deepening rapidly and irrevocably.

No one has ever made Joyce feel this special, this loved, this wanted before. Even in the early days of their relationship, Hank never expressed such desire and affection for her. She's well aware that Faith is another woman, and all her upbringing says that loving another woman isn't acceptable. But her heart sings a different song. Her instincts tell her that loving this woman is very right. The way she looks at her, kisses her, touches her; the thoughtfulness and caring, the obvious adoration she feels, captures Joyce's heart in a tightly chained bond. It's in this moment, when Faith is slowly bringing her to her first female to female orgasm, that Joyce realizes she's in love with Faith. That Faith makes her happy, and that she wants Faith to be a part of her life.

The fires Faith is creating in her pussy, swirl in her groin and shoot throughout her body. Her long celibacy broken, her physical needs bubble to the surface, intensifying after long repression.

Her whole body reacts to what's happening, her hips swaying against faith, her back arching a little, her muscles tensing and relaxing. Her breathing becomes even shallower, and her body flushes as her blood, heated by her desire, floods through her. Her kisses become more insistent, fiercer as the spring of her orgasm is wound tighter and tighter by Faith's wonderful touches. She feels her body tremble, and she leans back against Faith, her moans erupting loudly out of her mouth. She feels Faith's arm cuddle her protectively as her hand continues to drive the fires deep inside her. The heat increases as she feels a series of spasms deep inside her pussy. Her brain flashes patterns of light, and a gentle mist seems to stop conscious thinking. All she can do is lean back, let the sensations drive her as her moans become one long song of love.

The orgasms rip through her, one after another. She shudders and shivers in the warm water, only conscious of Faith holding her, kissing her neck and softly saying over and over to just relax, enjoy it don't fight it let it happen. Her body bucks hard against Faith, and she feels surrounded by a loving haze of water and arms. Slowly, the shudders and shivering subside, and she relaxes back into Faith. She opens her eyes to see Faith staring at her, half smiling, her eyes shining in love.

" Hi," Faith smiles, her voice full of tender concern. " Are you ok?"

" Oh my god," Joyce half moans, half sighs. She twists in Faith's arm, throwing her arms around Faith's neck, She buries her face in Faith's shoulder. "I've never felt anything so …" She starts to shudder again, and tears sting at her eyes, falling down her cheeks.

" Hey, hey!" Faith cuddles her. She looks at Joyce's face. " I didn't hurt you, did I? I …you're ok, right?"

" Oh god, Faith, that was so beyond wonderful," Joyce starts kissing her neck madly, " I've never felt anything…" She cups Faith's face, kissing her all over her face.

" Hey girl, it's ok," Faith giggles under Joyce's eager kisses. She rubs her back and body, " I'm glad it was good…"

" Good?" Joyce stares at her wide eyed, " It gets better? That's only good?" She begins smothering Faith in kisses again.

" Geeze, I'm better than I thought," Faith chuckles, loving Joyce's reaction. She gently pushes her away, then takes her into a loving embrace. " I guess it was better than good. I was afraid you weren't going to like it."

" I've never felt anything like that in my life, " Joyce breathes, her hands starting to caress over Faith's smooth back, " I… oh god, I love you Faith. I love you so much," her mouth locks on Faith in a heated, passionate kiss.

Faith feels her heart swell. Joyce said the very thing she longed to hear.

She's a realist though. She knows Joyce has a life, family, responsibilities that don't include her. She knows she has to be careful, to guard her heart against the almost inevitable possibility that they'll part. Desperately she holds onto that last little piece of her heart she hasn't given Joyce, knowing that if she loses that, she's lost.

But she feels her grip slipping. Joyce's declaration, her hot kisses, the things that make her wonderful and special in Faith's heart all are tugging at that last little piece. And finally, Faith feels it snatched away. She's lost. And right now, this moment, she doesn't care.

Her hand slide over Joyce's wet body, her fires building in her. She stands, Joyce clinging to her, and somehow manages to get them both safely onto the dryer floor of the bathroom.

She almost can't let her go, but she forces herself to. Grabbing a towel, she starts to dry down Joyce, who is just staring at her, her eyes full of love and lust.

As she's kneeling before Joyce, her face scant inches from Joyce's mound, she almost gives into the temptation to grab Joyce's hips and bury her face in her pussy, licking and taking her right there. But she restrains herself, knowing she wants each bit of tonight to be special to Joyce, be unforgettable for both of them. Her heart's survival depends on it.

She quickly dries herself off, then stands, to be wrapped lovingly in Joyce's arms. They kiss, and their bodies move together as if they've been together for a very long time. Little happy noises are heard from each, and they become the four legged, two backed monster walking out of the bathroom into the bedroom.

Faith finally breaks the kiss, and gently guides Joyce to sit on the bed. She sits across from her, lapping her legs over Joyce's. She smiles, taking Joyce's hand.

" I know this is all new to you, baby, " Faith says, squeezing her hand reassuringly," and I want you to be able to touch me and not feel weird about it. Ok?" With her free hand, she gently strokes Joyce's arm." So, what I want you to do is just look at me, get used to how I look. Then, when you feel ready, touch me. Any part you wanna touch. It won't hurt me, I promise, ok?"

Joyce nods, and Faith lets her hand go.

Joyce takes a little time just looking at Faith frankly. Faith feels her body blush, seeing the frank appraisal and approval in Joyce's eyes. Despite her bravado, she's still shy about someone openly looking at her. Still, there's a thrill of excitement because she sees Joyce very much likes what's she's viewing.

Joyce slowly reaches out, and starts to caress Faith's arm. Faith smiles, and scoots a little closer, making it easier. Joyce loves the soft, smooth feel of Faith's skin under her hand. Her hand drops, and she starts caressing Faith's thigh. Her fingers move inward, and Faith gasps a little.

" I'm sorry, did that… was that bad?" Joyce withdraws her hand.

" Oh, no, that was very good," Faith breathes. "You've done this before, haven't you?" She teases.

Joyce blushes prettily, but begins to stroke Faith's thigh again. After a bit, without lifting her hand, she sweeps it upward, making Faith shiver a little when the tips brush her erect nipple. Joyce smiles, noting Faith's nipples.

" Does that feel nice? Do you like that?" She asks softly. Faith nods enthusiastically.

Joyce smiles; using both hands, she begins sweeping them over Faith's chest and tummy. Faith sighs, leaning back on her arms, arching her upper body towards Joyce. Joyce, emboldened, moves closer, and gently cups Faith's breasts. Faith sighs loudly.

" Oh yes, very much yes to that, Joy," Faith looks at her. " I love that!"

Joyce, imitating Faith's early actions, rubs her thumbs over Faith's nipples, watching the nubs swell. Faith moans softly, and thrusts her breasts out further, wanting more.

Joyce leans over, and making a choice, takes Faith's nipple in her mouth. A low groan emits from Faith, and her hands come up to cradle Joyce's head.

" Very good instincts there, Joyce," Faith says, her voice hoarse. She runs her hands through Joyce's hair.

Joyce suckles on Faith's nipples, knowing how much she loves her own breasts being kissed. She tentatively licks the nipple, and by Faith's reaction, she teases the nipple more, feeling it swell harder against her tongue.

" Oh, god, Joyce, you're making me sooo…" Faith sighs loudly" … hot… I'm so…wet…"

More from curiosity than by design, Joyce runs a hand along Faith's thigh, reaching her mound and feeling Faith's wetness. Faith's hips jerk a little, not expecting the move, then they instinctively move towards Joyce's hand.

Joyce, fascinated, lets go of Faith's breast, and looks down. She starts stroking Faith's slit, noting the lips are puffy and red. Faith shivers, and starts to pant.

" God, Joyce, you're sooo fucking….god…"

Joyce smiles, seeing how much her touches are pleasing her lover. By instinct, she leans over and kisses Faith's other breast, while stroking her.

Faith, her fire starting to burn hot, shivers and shudders under Joyce's touch. _God, she's a fucking natural. She's making me… oh god sooo fine…yes baby that's very nice…_ Faith groans when Joyce playfully bites her nipple.

" Harder, Joyce," Faith gasps," Bite it harder." Joyce does, and Faith groans deeply.

Joyce feels the edges of Faith's lips separate, and she gently pushes her finger into Faith. Faith groans again, and her legs open, giving Joyce better access. Her arms shaky, she falls back on the bed, surprising Joyce.

" Are you ok?" She asks worriedly.

" God, yes, I… just keep doing what your doing…"

Joyce smiles, and leaning over, starts raining tiny kisses on Faith's chest.

Faith giggles." That tickles" She hiccups, and then sighs when Joyce switches to long slow strokes over her breasts with her tongue. " Oh, yes, very, very, very nice Joy" She sighs happily. _Dammit, she's going to be teaching me things soon!_

Joyce, encourage by Faith's words and responses, pushes her fingers deeper into Faith, getting a loud gasp and some happy moans and coos. She begins to pump her, remember her own little ' self help' sessions she did when she was extremely needy.

Joyce, really loving how she's pleasing Faith, starts kissing and licking her all over her upper body, as her fingers pump rapidly in and out of her pussy. She looks up to see Faith looking down at her, eyes lidded, smiling broadly. Joyce feels her heart beat faster, knowing Faith is getting the sweet attention she so deserves.

Faith is going crazy inside, trying not to move too violently under Joyce's ministrations. But the rivers of fire are flowing hotly inside, and her control weakens. Her body starts to shiver and buck, as the orgasm builds up in her.

Soon, she's out of control, her body squirming, shuddering and shaking as a huge orgasm rips through her, and her cum flows out of her lips down her thighs.

Joyce, seeing this, smiles. Experimentally, she brings Faith's honey to her mouth, and stabs her tongue at it. She's never even tasted herself before, and the taste is new to her. Sweet and musky, she finds she likes the taste, and licks the rest off her finger.

She turns, and seeing Faith still shaking, she lies down next to her, cuddling her. Faith gradually settles down, and opens her eyes. She looks at Joyce, amazed.

" Ok, you're not telling me something. You've done this before," She teases Joyce, taking her into a hug.

" No, really…I dunno, I just went with your cues, and kind of imitated what you did to me, and remembered what I liked and …"

" It was wonderful, Joyce," Faith says, pulling her close. " So wonderful." She kisses Joyce warmly.

They kiss and cuddle for awhile, hands exploring each other's body, lips seeking and getting lots and lots of kisses.

Then Faith rolls Joyce over, and she sits up.

Joyce looks at her questioningly. Faith leans over, and kisses her hotly. Joyce opens her mouth, accepting Faith's dominating tongue. Soon she's moaning, loving the kiss.

Faith breaks the kiss, and begins kissing Joyce all over her body.

" Again?" Joyce gasps." I dunno, Faith… I'm kind of… oh… my… ok…that's very nice… ummm… ok… I like that… oh… that's… oh my… mmmm… uh-huh…uh-uuhhh…."

Faith is kissing and licking every little bit of Joyce that's available to her tongue and lips. She moves slowly, wanting her to get comfortable, be easy about what she plans to do next. She studiously avoids her mound, kissing, licking, and occasionally sweeping her fingers over Joyce's body.

Faith moves down, planting raspberry kisses on Joyce's tummy. Joyce wiggles and giggles.

" That tickles," She laughs, enjoying Faith's playfulness.

Faith starts darting her tongue in Joyce's navel, and Joyce wriggles a little, the sensation being so new… and nice… she sighs.

Faith turns around, and starts down towards Joyce's feet. Joyce, never having seen a woman from this angle before, stares at the picture before her. A nice, shapely ass, curving gracefully into her hips and thighs. Her vulva, lips close, looking like a little half peach. _God, so cute, and beautiful. Never realized how it would look… and liking it a whole lot._ Playfully, Joyce reaches out, and slides her finger between Faith's slit and her little rosette behind, causing Faith to jump.

" Joyce!" Faith protests, but her smile gives her away. " That's nasty!"

Joyce does it again, and Faith giggles. " Stop it, you're ruining my concentration, " Faith protests, but her butt wiggling gives her away.

Joyce grins, and keeps taking finger swipes at Faith's butt. For a moment, Faith give in, loving the hot sensations Joyce's finger is sending through her.

" Stop it!" Faith growls playfully, pulling her butt out of range. Probably one of the hardest things she's ever done. " I've created a monster." She shakes her head. " God, I'm working here!"

" You've got such a cute lil butt," Joyce says, and another blush floods her." God, that …I'm sorry."

" I'm not, " Faith winks at her," I'm glad you think my ass is cute."

Faith, break over, lowers her head to Joyce's feet. Joyce laughs when she starts licking her toes.

" That tickles!" She wiggles around, giggling. The giggles dry up when Faith takes her toe in her mouth, sucking on it.

Little soft tingles shoot up her leg, right to her pussy. Joyce moans softly, never realizing that she likes her toes sucked, and how damned GOOD it feels. She lays back, letting the sensations roll through her.

Faith kisses and sucks each toe in turn, encouraged by Joyce's soft coos and moans. She takes her and rubs Joyce's foot, eliciting sighs of comfort and happiness. Then she starts kissing her way up Joyce's legs.

Joyce sighs, feeling a little hazy, never realizing one's legs were major erogenous zones. But Faith's licks, bites, and fingers were making her crazy-hot, and she started wishing Faith would finger her again. Her pussy was leaking a little, she could feel it, and pulsating. She was very tingly all over. Idly, she starts to play with her breasts, loving the additional tingles flowing to her center.

The Faith reaches her mound, and looks at the swollen cherry lips. Licking her lips hungrily, she still restrains from diving right in. She leans over, and gently blows across Joyce's lips.

Joyce, taken unaware, bucks up instinctively. She gasps. She looks down at Faith, who's puffing away.

Faith looks up at her, seeing Joyce's eyes sparkling in the light. She smiles, and gently lowers her head between her thighs. She slips out her tongue, and uses it to draw a slow line along Joyce's slit. She hears a gasp, followed by a deep moan.

Joyce has never had oral sex. Even when Hank tried to get her to suck him off, he wouldn't offer to reciprocate. She asked him one time, and he made a face like the thought was nasty. She didn't say anything, but she felt a strong resentment because of it.

Now this amazing woman is licking her, sending incredible hot fires through her, and it just made her melt. And, looking down, she could see Faith looking up at her, questioning her with her eyes. Joyce smiles, and Faith, encouraged, gets busy

She gently pulls Joyce's lips apart, and pushes her tongue in, caressing her inner lips. Joyce feels as if little fire needles are running through her blood, and her body starts to squirm, the pleasure is so intense.

_God so good so damned good mmmm oh my god oh my god that's… _

Her body starts to buck, and she feels Faith's hands slipping around her, holding on.

Faith slides her tongue deeper, pushing through the inner lips , invading her vaginal canal. She presses her face to Joyce's vulva, trying to get as deep as possible.

Joyce is in heaven. As Faith tongues her, she feels as if her body is floating on a soft cloud. She feels all the tensions winding up and breaking inside her, and every little cell of her body seems to be singing. Nothing has ever brought her to this place before; she never ever wants to leave.

Then Faith reaches around, and starts stroking her clit.

Joyce's cloud suddenly develops rocket boosters, and she feels like she's on a roller coaster ride, swerving here and there, up and down, side to side. Fireballs start to flash before her, and her body starts seriously bucking and swaying. Almost by instinct, her hands reach down to hold Faith's head in place.

Faith needs no help. It would take two very strong muscle men to pry her away from Joyce right now. She's very addicted to pussy, and loves eating it almost as much as she loves chocolate. No, wait, more. The smells of an aroused woman intoxicates her, and the taste is to die for. The way she feels about Joyce, her love, makes this particularly sweet. She can't get enough of Joyce's sweet musky honey, and she continues to lick at her madly.

Joyce is squirming on the bed madly, her face flushed and rolling side to side. Her moans are loud, and she feels all her reservations break like weak strings.

" Do it, baby, just like that. That's…oh god, that's sooo wonderful… baby yes…yes… OH YES right there baby do that again… oh baby… god I ... that's sooo oh my god my god my god… YES…Baby YESSS YESSS YESSSSSSSS!"

Her orgasm tears through her like a Tsunami, drowning her in a wave of intense, mind shattering pleasure.

IT doesn't stop there. Just as the first orgasm hits, another follows it, even larger, even more devastating. Then another and another seem to shred her to bits of floating dust, as she experiences her first multiple orgasm.

Faith, her face covered in Joyce's cum, smiles, sensing this is a big one for Joyce. She continues to push her, being relentless in her manipulations. She wants it to continue as long as possible, make it as sweet and memorable for Joyce as she can.

" I LOVE YOU ! I LOVE YOU! OH GOD FAITH BABY I ADORE YOU! " Joyce screams as yet more orgasm hit her. Her mind shatters, and she just shudders and shakes violently. She feels as if her whole body has become one huge vagina, squeezing and opening, contracting and expanding. Her eyes roll up in her head, and her mind, unable to take anymore simply collapses. She faints.

Faith, realizing Joyce has stopped moving, looks up. She sees Joyce laying there, her mouth open, not moving. She feels the ice of panic grip her tummy.

" Oh no, oh no!" She cries softly. She pushes up, and crawls up to Joyce. " Joyce, wake up," she starts to gently pat Joyce's face. Getting no response, she slaps her harder. " Joyce, baby, please wake up!" Faith is scared._ Oh no, oh god no! I've killed her ! I've KILLED her! I gave her a heart attack and she.. oh god NO! Can't… _" Joyce! " She slaps her hard, " Wake up, oh please wake up!" She starts to feel tears in her eyes. " Wake up!"

Joyce, finally feeling the slaps, pops open her eyes, and not getting it, stares stupidly at Faith.

" Faith! Stop… stop slapping me!" Joyce finally says, her mind snapping back to the present. " I'm ok, really!"

" Oh my god, Oh my god! I thought I killed you! Oh god, Joyce, I'm sooo sorry I didn't mean to hurt you! God, I'm such a …"

Joyce stops her words and panic by pulling her into a kiss. Faith gradually calms down, and gives into the kiss.

When it breaks, they look at each other. Their arms wrap around each other, and they kiss again.

When the kiss breaks, they hold each other tightly.

" Are you sure you're ok?" Faith asks, still a little worried. She's never had a lover faint on her before. " I can call a doctor or something if you want. I mean, I never meant to…"

" Oh my god, I sure hope you meant to!" Joyce exclaims. She pulls Faith even closer. " I've never had anything like that in my life. I thought after what you did to me in the bath, it couldn't be better. Damn, I was sooo wrong." She kisses Faith's face furiously. " I've never felt so incredible in my life."

They kiss and cuddle for awhile longer, each loving the way they feel together.

Joyce is incredibly happy. Faith has shown her a world of love and loving she's never experienced. They've shared something intimate and precious. Something she's never had before; something she hopes she'll have a lot more of.

Faith is beyond happy. Her feelings are all light and airy and soft and glow-y. She looks at this woman in her arms and her heart becomes a puddle of warm soft goo. She's never felt like this about anyone.

At that moment, as sleep claims them and their eyes shut, there is probably no happier person in this world than Faith.

Good night, sweet children. Sweet dreams.

6

Joyce wakes the next morning as the sun caresses her face.

She feels warm and woozy and wonderful. For a moment, she forgets where she is, and wonders what happened. Then the memory of last night comes to her, and she smiles sleepily. She snuggles down a bit, wanting to hold onto this feeling. Then she realizes she wants to kiss Faith good morning, lots of kisses, and turns to her.

Faith's side of the bed is empty.

Furrowing her brow, Joyce sits up. _No Faith? Where'd she go?_

Then the sound of the shower penetrates her sleep fog, and she smiles. Then, she smiles wickedly.

Slipping out of bed, shivering a little from the morning chill, she starts walks towards the bathroom. The phone in the suite rings, bringing her to a halt. _Who could that be? Who knows we're here? ._ A sudden panic hits her. _I left this as an emergency number! What if one of the girls is hurt? Or both!_ Guilt hits her like a hammer. Taking the phone from Faith, she puts it to her ear.

"Hello?" She says, quietly. She's still a little foggy from sleep.

" Hello, Joyce," An all to familiar voices says over the phone.

Joyce feels her brain clear instantly, as her heart sink into her stomach._ Hank!_ Sighing, she looks towards the bathroom. _She'll probably be busy for awhile longer._

" What is it, Hank? Why are you calling? Are the girls ok? How'd you get this number?"

" Strange about that. I called the Wyndham, wanting to talk to you. You weren't there, but you hadn't checked out, either. I told the desk clerk it was important I reach you, and he gave me this number." He pauses, then adds. " So, how are you Joyce?"

" Hank, what's this about?" Joyce says, impatiently. Any discussions with Hank lately have been disagreeable at best." Can't whatever it is wait until I'm back in California?"

" No, actually, it can't wait Joyce," Hank says, his voice a little distant." I'm in Salem, at a little café across from your hotel room. I need to see you… say? half an hour."

_Hank? Here? How? _

" What are you doing in Massachusetts, Hank?"

" I'll explain that when I see you Joyce," Hank says, confidently." Name of the place is The Salem Café. Be here in 30 minutes. It's important."

" Hank, I can't just drop everything and…"

" Be here in 30 minutes," Hank's voice has gone very firm." Trust me, you won't like the consequences if you don't show." He hangs up in her ear.

Joyce stares at the phone. She feels a little sick.

_God, why did he have to show up here? What does he want? Why does he have to ruin everything?_ Joyce frowns , remembering his warning. _What did he mean by that, anyway?_ She starts to get an awful feeling.

Faith emerges from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, drying off.

" Hey, bathroom free, you can shower…" she trails off when she notices Joyce hurrying about the room. Something in her manner tells her something's happened.

" Are you ok, Joyce?" She asks, seeing the frown on Joyce's face. " Is everything ok?"

Joyce looks up, seeing the concern in Faith's face. _God, no need to involve her in this._ She walks towards the closet, grabbing some clothing. She starts dressing quickly.

" I need to go out for a bit," Joyce says, quietly." Something came up. An old friend of mine in the gallery business is in Salem by chance. He came across a painting I've been looking for. I have a buyer for it, I just need to work out the details with him." She looks up, apologetically." Sorry, I know this wasn't supposed to be about business, but I've been looking for this for a long time. You understand, right?"

" Sure Joyce, " Faith smiles, " I know you've got stuff to do. It's no big. I'll get dressed, get some breakfast. Meet you back here?"

" That sounds great," Joyce is relieved she's buying it. And feeling guilty, lying to her. _She'd just want to come, and better she's not involved. Things are strange enough already.._ " Shouldn't be more than an hour."

" Ok, Joyce. Good luck with the painting, " Faith says, as Joyce heads for the door.

" Hmmm? Oh right, thanks, " Joyce smiles brightly. She goes through the door, closing it behind her.

Faith stands there, a puzzled look on her face.

She knows something's wrong. Something's very wrong with Joyce.. She could sense it, read it in her face. _She didn't look like someone who'd just had some good news. She looked like someone who'd gotten bad news. Really bad news_.

_Something's up. I heard the phone ring… was that it? She said it was a friend… something doesn't add up here._

Faith doesn't like a mystery. Especially when it involves someone she loves. _I gotta find out what the what is_.

A resolved look comes over her face, and dressing quickly, she leaves the room.

7

Joyce walks in the Salem Café, scanning the crowd for Hank. Her expression is controlled and tight; she is definitely not pleased.

_God, things were going so nicely, and now he has to show up. Why is he here? What does he want now? I swear, that man just wants to ruin any small happiness I can muster together. Why can't he just leave me alone?_

Hank Summers, a large, solidly built man sees his soon to be ex-wife enter the café. Seeing her looking for him, he rises from his table and gestures her over.

Joyce walks to Hank, still wondering why he's here and how he learned where she was. She weaves through the crowded café, finally standing at his table.

Hank indicates for her to sit, but she decides to remain standing.

" Ok, Hank, what's this all about? What're you doing here, anyway? How'd you find out where I was staying?"

" Well, to answer your second question first, I'm here because I have business in Boston. My company is trying to woo an account from Boscorp, which headquarters in Greater Boston. What this is all about, Joyce," Hank changes his tone, softens it, " is I want to try again. I've had lots of time since we started the divorce to really think things through, and I don't want to be divorced, Joyce. I want us to be a family. You, me, Buffy and Dawn." He turns on his most charming smile. " Can't we try again?"

Joyce shakes her head, not believing the nerve of this guy. _Should've thought of that, Hank, when you were running around your office screwing anything in a skirt._

" Hank, what's the point? I mean, really? You cheated on me. Not once, not twice, but too many times to count. Sure, maybe right now, you'll be good. But how long will that last? One month, two months? Then we're right back at it again, except we have to go through it all again. Put the girls through it again," Joyce shakes her head, sadly." I really did love you Hank. But not anymore. You made me a fool. "

" I know that, Joyce, and I want to make it up to you and the kids, " Hank says, sounding contrite. " It's really important to me now that we're a family, Joyce. It really is."

" Why now Hank? Why not last year, or two years ago … or when you started cheating on me? What's changed, Hank?" She leans over the table. " What happened, Hank? Did your latest conquest maybe puncture your ego a little? Maybe she wasn't so impressed with your aging jock looks? Maybe she made fun of you, or just left you for better pickings?"

Hank gets an irritated look on his face, and his neck flushes. Joyce realizes she's hit close to the truth.

" So, that's it, isn't it, Hank?" Joyce smiles, " Your little chippie left you and now you wanna come home. Have me soothe your ego. Tell you what a stud you are, " Joyce gets a rueful smirk," Thing is, Hank? I don't remember. It's been so long since you wanted to touch me. I don't remember what it was like with you. No, don't think so Hank. This ship has set sail, hit the shoals, and sunk. It's done." She shakes her head slowly, almost feeling sorry for him. She turns to go.

" Wait, please Joyce," Hank catches her arm. " I really need you. This company I'm trying to woo, Boscorp, is very conservative, financially and socially. The board is made up of a lot of the Boston Brahmin class. Very rigid ideas on what's proper. And divorce isn't proper in their view. I need you to be with me, convince them we're still husband and wife. This account is important; critical to the company's bottom line. You've gotta help me out here, Joyce."

Joyce is stunned by his audacity. _What the hell does he think? Does he think? Is he so full of crap that he can't see that he not only… _the rest is really too hot to write down here. Just say it wasn't particularly friendly warm thoughts.

" So, we get to the real reason, don't we Hank?" Joyce's voice is dripping acid. " You screwed up, thinking with your dick, and now you need me to bail you out by playing the happy, dutiful wife. Never mind what you did to me and the girls, what you put us through. I'm supposed to just play along? You are beyond belief, Hank Summers. And, if that isn't clear enough, " She shakes off his hand. " No way, Hank. Forget it. Not going to happen." She turns to storm off.

" Oh, I think it's going to happen, Joyce, " Hank says. " I really do. Or maybe, you'd like to explain to the Family court exactly why you have a lesbian affair going on? And leaving the girls with your aunt?"

Joyce freezes. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to reclaim her calm. She turns to Hank, poker faced.

" Don't have a clue what your talking about, Hank." Joyce stonewalls, peddling fast

" Don't play dumb, Joyce. Doesn't suit you," Hank says, a nasty grin on his face. He gestures to the crowd, and a man emerges, walking to the table. He sits next to Hank. He's carrying a large manila envelope with him.

" Joyce, I'd like you to meet Jack Bremer. He's a local Private Investigator. I've had Jack here, and some of his associates in his field, keep an eye on you during this trip. I was hoping to catch you out, simply to change the financials of the divorce settlement. Then this Boscorp thing came up. I thought I was out of luck until you came to Boston." He turns to Jack. " Show her the pictures please, Jack."

Jack obliges, opening the envelope and spreading the 8x10s out on the table. They're of various places around Salem, and a few in Boston, of Joyce and Faith kissing. Some are quite passionate in nature. He looks up at Joyce, smiling.

Joyce feels the blood drain out of her face.

" I … I can't believe you'd stoop so low, Hank Summers, " Joyce's voice is harsh, her throat dry. " How could you?"

Hank grins, not bothering to answer. " That isn't the worst though, I understand. While you and your lesbo lover were out playing around, an operative of Jack's here planted a recording device in your room. Video and audio. Makes for some interesting viewing, Jack tells me. Wonder how a family court judge would view this?"

" You wouldn't dare…" Joyce face goes ashen.

" Oh, yes I would. I think a judge, especially a _male _judge, would be very sympathetic of my behavior, especially when I tell him I had to go out of my home to seek comfort and support after you turned cold and unresponsive to me…"

" That isn't true!"

" It'll look true, especially after that little show you and your dyke girlfriend put on for Jack's associate is shown, " Hank nods his head, putting on a pious look. " I can't really have my girls exposed to your moral turpitude, can I? I've already started a petition in court to regain sole custody. I can't have them exposed to …" He waves at the pictures, " … this." He makes a face.

" You son of a bitch…" Joyce's face goes red.

" Now, now , Joyce. Language, " He smirks. " Is this what your girlfriend is teaching you? Tsk, tsk." He chuckles at Joyce's discomfort. " Face it Joyce. You played the game, and lost. Screw with me? And I screw you back, harder. Now, unless you want to lose your daughters, I suggest you go back to your hotel, kiss your girlfriend goodbye, pack and meet me for the noon train." He smiles beatifically. " If you're not there, I'll pursue the suit, Joyce. Don't think I won't. And I'll win."

" I'll fight you!"

" With what, Joyce? If this gets out in Sunnydale… well, it's a pretty conservative town. I wonder how they'll feel if the local art gallery is run by a big old lesbo? What do you think?" His smile disappears. " Don't try to play hardball with me, Joycie. I'll ruin you."

Joyce stands there, stunned. She can't believe this. She looks at the … thing… she married, once loved, and can't understand how she could've ever had anything but revulsion for him. She feels she wants to be sick; preferably in that fat face of his.

" So, what's It going to be Joyce? Coming, or do I…" He indicates the pictures.

" I'm coming, " She whispers. She can't, won't lose her daughters. She'll figure it out, somehow. She'll fix this, somehow. But right now, she can't think. She can only ache.

_What about Faith? What do I tell her? God, I can't even see her anymore. I'm… god, I just want to die. Dammit, God … how could you do this to me? How could you show me love, show me something perfect… then snatch it away? How utterly cruel is that?_

" Don't think this is over, Henry Summers, " Joyce says, a cold edge to her voice. " I'll figure a way to fight this."

" Give it up, Joyce. It's over. You lost," Hank Summers smirks. " Put a fork in her. She's done." He gets up, and throws some cash on the table. " Don't forget, noon Joyce. Don't be late." He walks out with Jack Bremer.

Joyce watches his back receding, and wishes she could kill him with a look. She feels angry, frustrated, remorseful and so alone.

She feels terribly, completely, alone.

She starts towards the exit, shoulders slumped.

8

Faith stands outside of the Salem Café, staring in the window.

After dressing, she followed Joyce across the street to the café. She saw her go in. Figuring she couldn't enter without Joyce noticing her, she hung back, watching.

She watches Joyce approach a table, going to someone she's never seen before. _Who's that? The art dealer she told me about? Why does she look upset? I thought she said it was good news?_

The two talk, gesticulating and seeming at odds. Faith watches, puzzled and confused. It doesn't seem like a business conference to her. _What do I know? Maybe that's how they do it._ She continues to watch, quietly. But there's a growing sense of something isn't right with this picture.

Then things change. Another man joins them, and he opens an envelope, spreading something across the table. They look like pictures, but she can't tell of what from here.

Faith takes a hard look at the new guy. Something familiar about him. But what? She shakes her head, thinking about it. _I've seen him… but where?_ She looks at him again, and her mind flashes back to yesterday, chasing after Joyce, running into someone. She hadn't really bothered too much with him…

But that was him. The man she ran into. She is sure of it. She recognizes the goofy hat he's wearing. Still, it could've been coincidence. _I mean, that stuff happens, right?_

Her nose twitches. There's something not right there. She's seen him before, and not just yesterday. _Somewhere… where the hell was it? _She takes a closer look , swearing she knows him.

Then the light goes on. Boston. Delancy street. Tina.

Tina had been being harassed by some of the other owners on the strip, and they'd been making threats against her. She didn't know who it was, and she needed to find out.

So, she hired some sleaze bag detective to trace down the letters and calls she'd been receiving. He'd come to the shop once, while Faith was there, to report in. He'd stood at the counter, looking like the typical perv, asking for Tina, being a total dork. Faith hadn't who he was, and got angry because she thought he was trying to hit on her. Finally, Tina had come out from back, and talked to him. She'd told Faith later he was a PI she'd hired him to do some work for her.

He'd worn that same stupid hat.

_Shit, what the hell is HE doing here? What's that he put on the table? Did that guy hire him? What's going on? Why won't anyone tell me?_

She watches, almost like she's frozen in place, as the tableau plays out. Her heart sinks when Joyce's face gets a shocked expression, and she goes white. _What? What happened? What did that bastard do to her?_

Faith feels her anger rise; her first impulse is to march inside and tell that prick off, both those pricks off._ How dare they hurt her! Goddamn it! Leave her alone!_ She holds back, however. Somehow she senses that right now, that would be the worst thing she could do. It doesn't make it any easier for her however, and she feels herself clenching and unclenching her fists.

She watches, her heart sinking as Joyce seems to be listening to the prick, and nodding. Then the guy, the art dealer guy?… gets up, and throws some money on the table. He leaves.

She sees Joyce stand there, looking lost. _Poor baby. Don't worry, Joyce. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out. You and me. I'm in your corner, baby. He can't… won't screw with you. I won't let him._

She watches as Joyce makes her way to the exit, and she waits. She wants to be there for her. Needs to be there for her.

Joyce exits the café, her mind still awhirl over what happened. How her world just collapsed in the space of 20 minutes. Distractedly, not thinking, she starts to cross the street.

" Joyce!" Faith calls out, running towards her. She pulls her back, keeping her from being hit.

Joyce turns to her, looking puzzled. " Faith?" She asks, as if she doesn't really recognize her.

Faith pulls her back away from the curb. She stands next to Joyce, her hand on Joyce's arm

" Are you ok?" Faith asks, worried. " You look…"

" What're you doing here, Faith?" Joyce asks, turning to her. " Were you following me?" Her face darkens. " Were you spying on me?"

"What? No!" Faith looks at her, amazed. " Yeah, Ok, I followed you. You seemed very strange at the room. I wanted to know what was going on. But I wasn't spying…"

Joyce closes her eyes, feeling awful._ Of course she wasn't spying on you, fool. She was concerned. She loves you. Not everyone is Henry Summers. _

" I'm sorry," Joyce says, " Of course you weren't."

" What's wrong, Joyce?" Faith asks, putting an arm on Joyce. " Can I help? Let me help, please."

For a moment, Joyce just wants to take Faith in her arms, and bury herself in her love. She wants to hide, and be comforted, and feel really loved. Like Faith makes her feel. She wants to cry, and tell her everything. Lean on her.

But she can't. She can't. Hank's got her by the short hairs. She loves Faith, adores her. But her children? Her children are everything to her. She can't give them up, she can't. They're a part of her, she carried them, raised them, was there to kiss the hurts, wipe the runny noses, and feel so proud of them.

She's a mom first.

She looks at Faith, and her heart breaks. _Do it, Joyce. Just do it. Hurt her now, so you won't destroy her later. Just do it!_

" You can't help, Faith. I'm sorry, but you can't. You're the problem," Joyce says, her voice low and hard. " We're over."

" Over?" Faith feels like she's been shot in the heart. " Over?" She repeats. She can't understand it. The word is insane. It can't be real. Her ears are lying to her. " Over?" she repeats again.

" It's wrong. What we're doing, " Joyce says, her voice growing cold. " I can't do this anymore. I can't. It's just wrong. I have a life, Faith. I'm not some schoolgirl with a crush. I have responsibilities, I can't just ignore them anymore. I'm leaving."

"Wrong?" Faith feels as if Joyce just slapped her. Hard." I love you! How's that wrong?"

_Oh god, Faith, I'm so sorry, _Joyce thinks, _I hate this I HATE THIS!_

"I'm not… I'm not that way. I'm not some… lesbian. I don't love you. I can't. You're a woman. This … what we did? I blame myself. I never should've… it's just wrong. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but you and me? No, it'll never happen. I'm leaving. Goodbye, Faith." Joyce turns to go.

" Leaving?" Faith finds her strength. She runs after Joyce, stopping her, turning her around." Joyce, please, we can work this out…"

" There's nothing to work out! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Joyce, losing it, not able to cope, breaks away, turns and bolts across the street. She runs up the steps of the hotel.

She doesn't want Faith to see her crying. Crying her heart out because she knows it's over, and it's killing her to do this. She loves Faith more than almost anything. Almost. And with her children involved, the possibility of losing them? Her love for Faith isn't enough. She has to end this.

_Better I hurt her now, than hurt her more, later._ Joyce thinks to herself.

_So, why do I feel like the biggest shit heel that ever lived? _

_Oh, maybe because you are, Joyce. A shit heel and a coward._

She enters the Inn, just wishing she could die.

Faith stands there, mouth agape. She can't believe what just happened.

_This is insane! This can't be happening. What happened in there? What did those pricks do to her? Why did she do that to me?_

She's hurt. Very hurt. She feels rejected. And used. And cheap. And dirty.

She can't believe that Joyce just did that, just dumped her. Here, on the street, like she was some kind of …_Whore? Slut? Prostitute? Those the words you looking for?_ She feels her eyes stinging, and rubs at them. She feels like someone hit her with a baseball bat. With a steel core, and lots of spikes out the large end.

God, she wants to hit back. She wants to hurt like she's hurting. _It's not right, It's not fair! I didn't do anything wrong. Why is this happening to me? What did I do? I did everything right!_

Everything is falling apart, and she doesn't have a clue as to why.

She starts towards the hotel, but her feet feel like they're made of lead. _She doesn't want me. She doesn't love me. How could she love me, and do that to me? What the hell was I thinking? How could she love me? Some fucking white trash from South Boston? Was I mad? Was I insane._

_Oh yeah. Mad, insane and in love. Bad combination. Really bad._

She turns from the Inn, just wanting to find a bar. Find it, enter it, and drink it dry. She feels like claws are ripping her apart from the inside. All she wants right now is to get drunk. Very , very , stupid drunk.

Oh? And she wouldn't mind dying right now, either.

_Right after I find that fucking son of a bitch sleaze bag PI and kill him!_

She storms off down the road.

To Be Continued


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Raiting: R

Pairing: Joyce/Faith

A/N: This is a Alternate Universe fiction every ones human. Joyce  
and Faith in a sexual situation. I know it's not fuffy give it a  
chance anyway you might like it.

A/N2 This is for the three people who were kind enough to offer  
feedback. Big smoochies, Thanks. i hope you like this chapter  
another one coming soon. sorry for taking to long.

Feedback: Yes

Change of Seasons, part 5

1

Faith sits staring at the row of shot glasses in front of her.

Today is her 21st birthday, and by damned, she's going to get drunk.  
Wasted. Plastered. Pie eyed. Whatever you wanted to call it, that's  
where she is going.

She takes the first shot, and tosses it back neatly.

Not that it would be all that different from the days leading up to  
her birthday. Lately, her days have been laced with frustration and  
anger, and her nights are pretty much a haze of alcohol, fights and  
an occasional trip to holding tank in jail.

Now, at least, I don't have to use that fucking fake I.D. anymore.  
I'm legal. Yeah, great.

She takes the second shot, and with a practice hand, throws it back,  
letting the fiery liquid burn down her throat.

The way Joyce burned down her heart. Just leaving a big ache and  
ashes behind.

Goddamn that Paulie. He couldn't even be here tonight to toss back a  
couple with me. What's his deal, anyway? Just because he has a night  
job, couldn't he take one fucking night off to celebrate his  
sister's big night? I mean, shit, would've killed him to fucking NOT  
go to work tonight? Well, I'm guessin' I know what's more important  
to him. Screw him. Like, he should be different from anyone else?

Good old parents. Yup, betting their celebrating my big birthday.  
Glad to be rid of me, and hey, wishin' maybe their daughter had been  
stillborn.

She lifts a third shot. "Here's to family" She calls out to nobody.  
She raises the shot and downs it fast.

"Hey, hey!" Jake McConnell, barkeep and owner of Jake's, comes down  
to Faith. "Go easy on those, girl. They aint goin' nowhere. There's  
no rush to drink 'em. Take it a bit slower," Jake notes three shots  
have been killed.

"I'm celebratin' here, Jake. It's my 21st, so do me a favor and  
don't be actin' like my Da tonight, ok? I got a right to celebrate,  
right? I mean, it's a biggun, the 21st," She stares at the empty  
shot glasses. "Not that anyone gives a rat's ass, but it's a biggun!"

"Now, Faith, that's not fair. Lots of people care…"

"Yeah, sure, Jakey. I guess I'm just havin' a hard time seein' 'em,  
for all the people crowdin' around wishin' me a happy birthday.  
Guess that's it, huh?" Her face hardens, and she reaches for a  
fourth shot. "Aw, who the fuck cares, anyway? I don't need 'em. Got  
my friends right here." She waves at the glasses. "Family, too."

"Faith McKerrigan is that even fair? Have ya tried talking to them?  
Seeing them?"

"Sure I have, Jakey. And guess what? They don't got no daughter, uh-  
uh. Shit, no. No daughter of theirs is a big old dyke lesbo queer.  
Nope."

"C'mon, Faith, you know how attitudes are around here. It's not easy  
for them either, you know."

"So that gives them the right to cut me dead, huh, Jake?" Faith  
frowns, "Real nice, that. And loving how my dear brother Paulie  
couldn't be here tonight, either. Real sweet. Would it have killed  
him to be here? But I'm guessin' he's not fond of having a queer  
sister," Faith takes a fourth shot, but doesn't down it. She sips  
it. "Of course, It's all easy-peasey for me, huh? Screw it, Jake.  
They don't care, and guess what? I don't either." She takes and  
tilts back her head, letting the fourth shot trickle down her throat.

"Fine, Faith. Feel sorry for yourself. That's gonna do ya real lotta  
good. We both know this aint the first night you've been acting like  
a jackass. You've been this way since…"

"What? What, Jake?" Faith glares at him, "What're you getting at,  
Jakey?"

Jake can tell from the look in her eyes that maybe not isn't the  
best time to discuss this. Probably, never is the best time to bring  
this up, I'm thinking.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Jake moves down the bar to tend to his  
other customers. "Happy birthday, Faith."

"Yeah, whatever," Faith mutters to herself. Nobody asked your  
opinion, you paddy Mick; so keeping to yourself would be real nice  
right now. Not wanting to think about nothin' except getting really  
drunk, really fast.

Faith is beginning to feel the kick of the four shots she's downed,  
and she leans her head on her hand, looking at the remaining shots.  
Her eyes are at half mast.

Despite her best efforts, however, she can't keep Joyce from her  
thoughts.

Goddamn it. One fucking night, I ask not to think about her, and  
here she comes, roarin' back into my brain. Why the fuck can't I  
forget her? She's just some broad I met. Shouldn't mean shit. Not  
the first time I've been like in love. Never fucked me up like this  
before.

God, I hate that bitch. What right did she have to treat me like  
that? I didn't do shit wrong! I did everything right! But no, that's  
not good enough for her! No way! Gotta dump me like last night's  
trash. She wouldn't even tell me why! No, just some 'It's all wrong,  
you and me!' Shit, didn't seem so fucking wrong when I … aw, screw  
it. What good is this doin'? She's probably out there now, laughin  
at me, thinking what a fool she made of me. Prolly laughing her ass  
off, thinkin' what a dope I am. Yeah, well, fuck HER too!

Faith lays her head on her arms, staring at the little shot glasses  
in front of her.

"So, babies," She mutters low, her speech slightly slurred, "Which  
one of ya gonna do it tonight, eh? Which one's gonna make it all  
good, so I can sleep?" She lifts her head, and points at the  
drinks. "Eeny, meany, miney, moe… hmmm… well, let's just pick one  
and see, whattya say? So far, you're dead cousins haven't done shit."

She grabs a shot, and throws it back quickly. She brings the glass  
down hard on the bar.

"Ahhh," She sighs, feeling the fire work down her throat. Then, she  
stares ahead, as if looking through the walls of the little bar. Her  
head slumps down, and her eyes narrow to slits.

"Hmmm," She mutters to herself, feeling her brain starting to swirl  
in her head. "Yeah, this… is good…" She smiles sloppily at the other  
shots, and snorts. "Guess you ladies gonna have to wait til later…  
think I'll take a little rest now, then we'll party, 'k?"

Slumping over, her head comes to rest on the bar. It makes a slight  
thunking sound as it hits the old oak bar.

And she's out.

She's back on that street in Salem, facing Joyce. Feeling confused,  
angry, and crushed, all at the same time.

" There's nothing to work out! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Joyce, losing it,  
not able to cope, breaks away, turns and bolts across the street.  
She runs up the steps of the hotel.

Faith stands there, mouth agape. She can't believe what just  
happened.

This is insane! This can't be happening. What happened in there?  
What did those pricks do to her? Why did she do that to me?

Faith feels the anger rise in her. She turns and looks in the window  
of the Salem Café.

Those pricks. Those two pricks did this. I'm so gonna find out what  
they said to her. Then maybe I'll do a Mexican hat dance on their  
heads.

Her anger flaring, not thinking straight, she turns to the café, and  
bursts in through the doors.

The place, a popular tourist spot, is packed, and she can't see  
around the people milling about. She pushes her way through the  
crowd, to more than one dirty look, and makes for the table where  
they were sitting.

Only to find the two men gone, and some money left on the table as a  
tip. Son of a bitch! She looks around, but sees nothing. She works  
through the crowd, finally reaching the cashier.

" Hey, did you see a couple of guys? I mean, one was like kinda  
solidly built, and the other was kinda skinny, wearing a dorky hat?"

" Maybe…" the cashier sounds doubtful. Then she brightens. " Oh  
yeah, was it like one of those fishing hats with the flies attached  
to it?"

" That's it babe. Did you see where they went?"

" They left maybe 5 minutes ago?"

" Which way?"

The cashier nods towards the front doors.

" Thanks!"

Faith pushes her way through the crowd, with some very vocal  
grumbling, until she reaches the doors. She pops outside, and looks  
both ways.

No Hank. No Jack. Just a couple of family groups, and a bunch of  
kids.

She trots down one way, looking left and right, trying to spot the  
solidly built guy, or Jack's stupid hat, with no success. Running  
back, she goes up a block or two before giving up.

Damn, lost them. Now what do I do?

She stands there for awhile, knowing what she has to do, just  
putting it off.

She has to go back to the Inn. Confront Joyce, and try to get some  
answers. But the way Joyce treated her on the street, she hesitates.  
Does she … I mean, I thought… damn, why'd she do that? Did she want  
to hurt me? Well, worked! Still… I gotta know. I gotta know if she  
meant it or was forced into it. Damn it, she had to be forced into  
it. I can't believe it was just … nothing to her. I know it was  
something. I could… Damn, this is sucky on so many levels it stinks.

Still, Faith's feet seem reluctant to go back to the Inn. What Joyce  
did to her was like being slapped in public. Totally humiliating and  
hurtful. Maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe she never cared for me…

No, not gonna buy that. Uh-uh. No way, she was there, right with me.  
Something's going on, and damn it, I deserve to know what. I'm not  
gonna just back off like some weak little kitten and let her face  
this alone. I love her, and dammit I'm sure as hell not gonna let  
her twist.

Faith, feeling a renewed determination, trots down the street and up  
the stairs to the Salem Inn.

2

Tina Gallagher is pissed.

You can tell because her ears have turned a bright pink. Also, her  
normally peaches and cream skin is blotchy. Her eyes are hard and  
narrow, and her bow shaped lips are pressed together tightly.

She walks into Jake's, the steam almost coming out of her ears,  
she's so angry. This isn't the first time she has been called to  
come ' get' Faith. Lately, it's been a routine, like flossing and  
doing the laundry. Except it isn't nearly as fun.

She walks to the bar, and catches Jake's attention. Jake comes over,  
smiling apologetically.

"Ah, there you are girl. Good to see you. How's…"

"Where is she?" Tina asks, shortly.

"Now, Tina? Is that anyway to greet an old friend?"

"Sorry. Hello Jake," She says, sarcastically. "Where is she?"

Jake sighs, and nods towards the end of the bar. Tina spots Faith,  
head down on the bar, and feels her irritation rising.

"Oh no, not again. Dammit, Jake, not again!" She walks down to the  
bar, touches Faith, gets no response, and looks up, her eyes  
blazing. "God, what is it with you, Jake? What did I ask you the  
last time, and the time before, and the time before THAT about her?  
Don't, and I repeat, don't let her get drunk. She gets angry when  
she's drunk, and she's hard to handle. And there she is… drunk."

"Well, she was upset. It was here 21st birthday, and it seems no one  
could take the time to be with her," Jake says with some  
asperity. "Funny, isn't it? How none of her family of friends could  
be with her."

"Yeah, well, some of us gotta work for a living. I'm sorry I  
couldn't take off on a moment's notice just to blow out candles with  
her," Tina says, a little defensively. Feeling just a little  
guilty." But what's the excuse for the other times, Jake? I'm  
picking her out of bars more often than I do laundry, Jake. Never  
mind the times I gotta bail her out of jail…"

" Well, maybe if you paid attention, you'd know things haven't been  
all clover for her, girl," Jake gives her the eye." Did you know  
that she lost her job last month?"

"No," Tina says, "But considering how she's been acting, I surprised  
it didn't happen sooner…"

"How 'bout the fact that she's being evicted? That was her birthday  
present, Tina. Nice huh?"

"Maybe if she didn't try to put on airs so much, take an affordable  
place…"

"God, are you heartless, girl? Is that thing in your chest made of  
stone?" Jake looks at her, frowning. "She's been having a string of  
bad luck, and you're makin' it out like it's her fault…"

"Who's at fault then, Jake?" Tina looks down at the sleeping  
Faith. "No one's twisting her arm to …" She waves her hand over the  
unconscious Faith. Faith mumbles something loud, and snorts. Tina  
looks at her." … do this to herself, except herself."

"That's pretty cold, comin' from someone's been in here more than  
once cryin' in her beer over…"

"That's beside the point, Jake. The point is, why'd you let her get  
this drunk, again? Now I gotta haul her outta here, and try to sober  
her up. You're really not helping, Jake McConnell, servin' her so  
much booze she gets this way. "

"I thought it better she come here, and get drunk, where someone who  
cares about her can keep an eye on her, rather than goin' to a  
strange place and get plastered," Jake puts up his hands, "but if  
you'd rather start picking her up at the police station again…"

"I'd rather not be picking her up at all. I wouldn't have to, if  
you'd just help out a little," She looks at Jake, and makes a  
face. "Yeah, I might as well talk to a brick wall, cuz you're not  
getting it, Jake."

"I'm getting it all right, Tina Gallagher," Jake smiles  
tightly, "You're just pissed because it's not you that she's  
mournin' over, aint it!"

"That's a crock, Jake. Whatever we had been long over. I just don't  
get her getting all bent because that old broad dumped her…"

"Old broad my eye. She was in her prime, girl. And a very attractive  
woman to boot," He tilts his head. "As I recall, you're not as young  
as you used to be either, Tina. I'm thinking you were pretty much  
robbin' the cradle when you took up with Faith… she was only 17, as  
I recall… and you were knockin' on 23 at that time…"

"Yeah, still a lot closer than that… prime woman," Tina says. Her  
face is a little tight. "Screw this, I got better things to do than  
talk to you all night."

Tina walks over to Faith, and tries to rouse her. Meeting with no  
success, she looks a Jake.

"What the hell did you serve her?" She picks up a shot glass and  
smells it. "Man I swear, Jake, you love to make my life hard." She  
starts to shake Faith.

"C'mon, Girl, wake up, time to go home…"

"C'mon, Joyce, talk to me!"

Faith is back in that room, that room where they shared so much.  
She's watching as Joyce hurriedly packs.

" Faith, I told you. There's nothing to talk about," Joyce walks  
over to the closet, entering it to get some of her clothes. She  
calls out from inside." It's over. That's it. Now just leave me  
alone, and let me get packed. I've got a train to catch."

" So, that's it? It was nothing? Just a weekend? That's all?" She  
marches over to the closet, blocking the doorway. " I don't believe  
you. I don't. I could feel it. It was special…. It meant something  
to you. Talk to me! Tell me what's wrong!"

"Are you deaf?" Joyce turns around, her face red. " I told you.  
WE'RE wrong! What we did? That was wrong. It never should've  
happened. So, just go, Faith. I'm tired, and I'd really like some  
peace now." She turns back towards the hanging clothes.

" No, I don't believe you. I don't! It wasn't wrong, dammit ,and you  
know that. It was right. You and me, we're right! Don't you get  
that? We're so right, it hurts. Dammit, look at me!" Faith reaches  
out, grabs Joyce's arm and turns her around. " You know we're right  
together. We fit. You told me, Joyce. You told me you loved me. What  
about that?"

" I lied, don't you get that? I lied! I don't love you. I never  
loved you!"

" Joyce, please," Faith's voice goes soft. She moves in on Joyce,  
circling her arms around Joyce's waist. She lays her head against  
Joyce's back." Please, don't do this. Don't shut me out. Let me help  
you, baby. Let me make it better…"

" Don't… don't touch me," Joyce's voice quavers. " Get away from me,  
please get away!" She turns, and breaking Faith's grip, shoves her  
away. " I don't want you, I don't need you. Go away!"

" Joyce," Faith, her heart breaking, her face reflecting that, still  
goes back for more. " Please, honey, talk to …"

SLAP!

" Wake up, Faith! Don't you get it? The world isn't about just you!  
It doesn't revolve around you."

" Joyce…" Faith's hand flies to where Joyce slapped her. " Please…  
don't do…"

Joyce grabs her by the shoulders, starting to shake her.

" Wake up, can't you see it? It's wrong, and it'll never be right.  
Can't you just leave me alone? Wake up, Faith…"

"Wake up , Faith, for god's sake, WAKE UP…"

"… WAKE UP, Damn you Faith McKerrigan. Get your drunken ass UP!"  
Tina is slapping and shaking her.

"Wha…?" Faith's eyes fly open. " Joyce…?"

"No, not Joyce, you sot, Tina," Tina slaps her again. " Wake up. I  
can't carry your drunken ass outta here. Get up so I can take you  
home."

"Tina?" Faith looks amazed, then smiles. " Tina! Baby, " She pours  
on the drunken charm. " Hey, how are ya?"

"C'mon, get up," Tina sighs, trying to get Faith's arm around her  
shoulder. Made more difficult because Faith keeps pulling it away. "  
Stop that. Let me help you up."

"Hey, I'm great here," Faith pulls her arm away again, "You made  
it," Faith smiles at her, her smile loose and sloppy. "C'mon, have a  
drink with me. It's my 21st birthday, aint that cool?" She smiles  
wickedly, and puts her arms around Tina's waist. She pulls her  
close. "Where's my birthday kiss, babe?" She leans in, blowing her  
100 proof breath into Tina's face. "C'mon, baby, give us a lil  
kiss." She starts to paw Tina.

Yeah, you want me when your bleedin' drunk, right Faith? God.

None too gently, Tina resists Faith's advances, pushing her hands  
away. She grabs Faith's ear, and twists it hard.

"OW, Fuck, that hurts" Faith tries to bat at Tina's hand, but Tina  
ducks away from her arms.

" Get up, you sot, and let's get goin'. Jake is closing up soon."

Tina maneuvers herself behind Faith, and starts pushing her towards  
the door.

"Stop it!" Faith cries out, still waving her arms around. "That  
really hurts," She complains, as she heads for the exit. Spotting  
Jake, she tries to stop. "Jakey, help me, she's hurting me!"

Jake shakes his head, a sad look on his face. "Just get home, lass."  
He turns away, pretending to be busy with the glasses behind the bar.

"Thanks loads, Jake. Fine friend you are," Faith calls out. "See if  
I ever come here again!"

"Yeah, Jake, thanks loads," Tina echoes, a sour expression on her  
face.

Tina shoves Faith out the door, letting it slam behind her.

Once outside, the cool air sobers Faith up enough so she lands a  
punch on Tina's arm, causing her to let go of Faith's ear for a  
moment. Faith turns on her, shoving her away hard.

" Damn you, you nearly twisted my ear off, you stupid cunt. What the  
hell were you trying to do?" She shoves her again, angrily, "c'mon,  
you dumb bitch, answer me!" She balls up her fist, waving it at  
Tina, " I should…"

"What, hit me?" Tina smirks, bobbing and weaving a little, "Is that  
what you did to your girlfriend, Faith? Hit her? Is that why she  
left you?"

"You fucking…" Faith takes a swing, missing Tina and losing her  
balance a little, stumbling forward.

Tina shoves her, causing her to run into the wall. Faith bounces  
off, and comes at her, swinging at her again. She connects, but only  
with Tina's shoulder. Tina shoves her way, laughing.

"God you pathetic piece of shit. You're an idiot. Goin after some  
broad twice your age. You're an ass, Faith McKerrigan."

"Yeah, well, at least I went after someone with some class, Tina.  
Not some washed up, used up jaded ho like you!" Faith manages to  
slap her.

Tina sees red. Forgetting Faith's drunk, forgetting where she is,  
forgetting everything except she's madder than hell, she rushes at  
Faith, pushing her into the side wall of the bar.

"You fucking BITCH!" She screams at Faith, starting to punch her in  
earnest. Her blows land efficiently, hitting Faith in her upper  
body, face and stomach. "God, just like you! Just fucking like you!  
You think you're better than me, better than where you came from!"  
She starts kicking Faith, hitting her thighs and legs. " I'm tired  
of this. Tired of chasing after you, pulling your ass outta the  
fire."

Faith, overwhelmed by her fury and rage, just tries to block the  
worst of the blows.

"You're hurting. Well, boo- hoo, get over it. I'm sick of your  
whining. God you think you're the ONLY girl that's ever had her  
heart broken?" She starts hitting harder," I'm tired of coming to  
get you, I'm tired of getting calls at 3 a.m. to bail your drunken  
ass out of jail. God, I'm just tired of … SHIT!"

Tina yells when Faith, tired of being her punching bag, grabs her,  
and head butts her. Tina stands there for a second, dazed.

"How's it feel, bitch?" Faith taunts her. She raises her fist. "  
Gonna put you out, you little…"

Tina, recovering, gives Faith an uppercut to the jaw, putting  
everything she has into it. She literally lifts Faith off her feet,  
who goes flying back into the wall, and like an old movie, slides  
down on her butt, unconscious.

Tina looks down at her friend, and makes a disgusted noise

"God, whatta fucking waste."

She grabs Faith by the collar, and hauling her up the best she can,  
grabs her under her arms. She starts dragging her towards her car.

" Come on, useless, let's get you home."

3

Joyce sits at her desk, staring out at evening lights of Sunnydale.

Before her, on the computer screen is the final proposal for an  
estate auction her gallery is bidding on. She already pretty much  
had it worked out in her head. She knew what she wanted, what she  
was willing to pay, her negotiation percentage, all the other little  
things she need for this deal. Pretty much she just had to review  
the proposal in front of her, ok it or modify it, as necessary, and  
send it along. Easy stuff, something she could finish in 10 minutes.

Frankly, she's stalling. Once she finishes this up, she really has  
no excuse to not call it a day, pack it up, and go home.

Problem was, going home wasn't all that appealing these days. Truth  
be told, she dreaded it.

First of all, there was Hank. Or, more to the point, there wasn't  
Hank.

At first, after they got back together, he made what seemed to be a  
real effort to reconcile. He paid attention to her, included her in  
his business affairs, took her out and frankly tried to woo her  
back. Especially while they were in Boston, he did everything he  
could to mollify her, get her to go along and pretend to be the  
devoted, happy wife.

Knowing what he had on her, Joyce played along. Inside, she felt  
hollow. He had her against the wall, and there was no wiggle room,  
no way around it. She had to play along, or risk losing their  
daughters. She wasn't going to let that happen. So she played along,  
and Hank got his contract.

Even when they returned to California, it looked for awhile that he  
wanted to change his ways. He made an effort, even moving up to  
Sunnydale from L.A., to spend time with his daughters and her. He  
even made noises about a reconciliation, some way for them to be a  
family again.

Despite her reservations, despite their history together, she  
decided to try it. Dropping the divorce, she agreed to try to make  
it work again.

Maybe this is for the best. For Buffy and Dawn's sake. They should  
have their father around. It's only right. He is part of their  
lives. We can do this; we can make this work.

Hank soon started falling back into his old patterns. Now that he  
had to commute to L.A., he started spending more and then even more  
time away from home. Finally, he told them one night that to keep  
from having the make the two hour drive every morning and evening,  
he would be spending the week down in L.A., coming home on weekends  
to be with them.

The kids seem to buy it. Buffy, perhaps because she was closer to  
Hank than to Joyce, wanted it to be so. Wanted this family to be  
together. So she very much bought into the company line, or at least  
appeared to. Dawn seemed a little more skeptical, but like Buffy,  
she wanted her family to be intact. So, she didn't say anything,  
just seeming to accept the arrangement as normal.

Joyce wasn't buying into the lie. Even before he moved to L.A.,  
Joyce knew Hank was up to his old tricks. She tried to reach him at  
his office on more than one of those 'late nights', only to find him  
gone. And he wasn't even trying this time to hide the odor of  
another woman on his clothing. Like before, he withdrew from her,  
acting normally in front of the girls, but otherwise pretty much  
ignoring her.

However, this time, she was stuck. Hank had all the cards. All the  
evidence the sleazoid detective gathered on her he had in a safe  
deposit box at some bank. If she made noises, any noises, about  
divorcing him, leaving him, he merely reminded her that he would  
start legal proceedings to take the girls away from her. That he'd  
expose her as a moral degenerate, taking up with some woman half her  
age. That her reputation socially, professionally and personally,  
with the girls, would be ruined. So, she better shut up and put up,  
or frankly, she'd have nothing left.

The second problem was, well to put it in a word, Buffy. Ever since  
she got back from her trip, and they moved to Sunnydale, Buffy had  
been more and more distant from her. Also, when she was gone, Buffy  
had started hanging with a new group of kids. A group that Joyce  
wasn't particularly fond of. What she'd learned from Buffy in that  
phone call she'd made to Boston had been only the tip of the  
iceberg. It wasn't til she got back to L.A. that Joyce learned about  
this new, wild group of friends. Buffy had been breaking curfew, a  
lot. She came home more than once, in her Aunt's opinion, drunk or  
high. She slept late, was willful, and started acting out in a bunch  
of ways.

When they returned home together, that seemed for awhile to  
straighten Buffy out. On this front, both she and Hank were united.  
They needed to get Buffy away from this new group of friends. That  
was one reason they decided to go ahead with the move to Sunnydale;  
it was a chance to start fresh in a new town, and a new school.  
Maybe here Buffy would settle down and begin to act like her old  
self.

Still, Joyce was worried. Even though Buffy seemed to be trying to  
be her old, cheerleader, popular girl self, there was something else  
there, something worrisome. It flared up once in awhile, but not  
often enough to be really troublesome. Not yet, anyway. But it was  
just something else going wrong in her life.

Joyce just thanked god for Dawn. In contrast to Buffy, Dawn seemed  
to take things calmly, rolling along with the waves. She pretty much  
accepted the reality of what was happening and tried to make the  
best of it. Oh, that's not to say she was the perfect child. She  
could be stubborn, temperamental; at times, cutting in her remarks.  
But overall, she was adjusting better to things than Buffy. At  
least, as far as Joyce could see.

Joyce was glad that school was starting up soon. It would give the  
girls something else to concentrate on. Making new friends, worrying  
about what classes they would be taking, all the other activities  
she hoped they would get involved in would give them a sense of  
normalcy. At their ages, they needed that. They needed something,  
because Joyce knew in her heart, it was a sham.

So now what? What happens when it becomes obvious to the girls that  
Hank is back to his old ways? In a way, I almost hope they don't get  
it. At least, for awhile. All I know is right now, I just want to  
keep things peaceful, keep the girls happy, and try my best to just  
get by. Pass the time, and hope that eventually, I'll be able to put  
this all behind me…

God, that's what it's come down to. Pass the time. Not live, not  
love, not anything, but pass the time. Hope I make it through this  
night without going insane. Hope that this night, I can forget her,  
put her behind me, forget I ever met her. God, I miss her sooo  
damned much. Her smiles, the way she'd laugh at just laugh at  
anything Like the whole world was amusing, and she so enjoyed being  
in it. With me. The look in her eyes when she looked at me. The way  
she just casually took my hand and made my heart nearly burst out of  
my chest. God, the way she kissed me. And touched me, oh god I miss  
that so much. Everything about her, I miss so much. So damned much.

I don't even have a picture of her. But I really don't need one. How  
can I forget her eyes? Or the way her cheeks dimple when she  
smiles. Or her wild brown hair, so full and rich, and it always  
smelled clean and sweet? Or her hands, how soft and warm they are?  
Or her lips. God, how soft and full her lips are, how they felt on  
mine? I don't need a picture; she's burned on my brain. I can't  
forget her. That's what's the worst.

I just wish I'd never met her. Never gone to the Gardner Museum that  
day.

Before I met her, I was ok. I wasn't rolling in the happy field, or  
anything, but at least I was accepting. I didn't know what it was  
like to be in love, really in love. I thought my life, even with  
Hank, was ok. I thought that was normal, that's just what happens  
over time. You fall into love, you get married, and then life  
happens, and you fall out of love. Then you just got by, and hey,  
you were healthy, and you had security, so everything was just fine.

But she awoke things in me I hadn't felt in ages. Some things I  
never felt before, period. Just two weeks with her changed me so  
much, changed my perspective so radically, that I can't ever go back  
to how it was. I can't be just mom, or Just Hank's wife, and not  
want something for me. Something that's mine. Something that makes  
me, Joyce, happy. And I feel selfish feeling this way, because I  
should just be able to accept how life is. I should just deal with  
it, and get past it, and accept.

And I can't, dammit, I just can't!

Joyce becomes aware that everything's become blurry around her. She  
feels the sting of unshed tears in her eyes, and she grabs a Kleenex  
out of the drawer, impatiently wiping her eyes.

Wiping away the tears doesn't wipe out the achy emptiness she feels  
inside. She sighs, and turns to the computer screen.

10 minutes later, on the dot, she's reviewed the proposal, indicated  
her approval, and has sent it off. Finished, she turns off the  
computer and stands up.

She walks to the coat rack in her office, and retrieves her coat and  
purse. She walks to the office door, pausing only to shut off the  
lights. The office door closes quietly behind her.

Time to go home. Time to pretend to be happy. Pretend that  
everything's normal

Joyce knows that nothing's normal. Or happy. Or right. And she  
knows, she doesn't know any way to fix it.

All she knows is that she's in her private little hell.

To Be Continued.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Raiting: R

Pairing: Joyce/Faith

A/N: This is a Alternate Universe fiction every ones human. Joyce  
and Faith in a sexual situation. I know it's not fuffy give it a  
chance anyway you might like it.

A/N2 This is for the three people who were kind enough to offer  
feedback. Big smoochies, Thanks. i hope you like this chapter  
another one coming soon. sorry for taking to long.

Feedback: Yes

Change of seasons, part 7

1

Faith snorts loudly, then sits up suddenly.

_Where in fuck am I?_ She blinks and looks around. _How'd I get here? Where IS here?_

At first, disoriented, she doesn't recognize where she is. All she knows is that she's been sleeping face buried in a pillow on a sofa that isn't hers. Her tongue feels dry and spongy, and her eyes feel sore.

Then it hits her. The hang-over from hell. She almost bends over in pain, her head throbbing in pain. It feels if someone is using a jack hammer to drive heated 20 penny nails through her skull.

She almost bends over but doesn't, because her whole body aches as if someone sent her through mangle cycle on the washer a few times. She groans, not knowing exactly where to grab first.

She stands up, then sits right back down when a wave of dizziness hits her. She groans louder.

_What the hell happened last night? I feel like I went 10 rounds with Evander Holyfield, and had my hands tied behind my back. Not sure if there's a place that doesn't hurt… god… _She looks around through bleary eyes, and winces. _Crap, Tina's. I'm at Tina's. Fuck, how'd I get here? Last thing I remember is downing a shot of Irish whiskey at Jakes…_

"Oh, it lives," a sarcastic voice comes from behind her. "Not exactly sure how I feel about that."

Tina walks out into the living room wearing a pair of sweats and a wife beater. She makes her way to the kitchen, pouring herself a cup of coffee. She walks back into the living room, standing next to the train wreck formerly known as Faith.

Faith sits on the couch, hunched over , head in hands, moaning. She looks up at Tina, piteously.

Tina isn't having any of it. Frowning a little, she nods her head toward the bathroom.

"You smell like crap. Go take a shower. There's still some of your clothes in my room, use those when you don't smell like a fucking brewery anymore."

Faith sighs heavily, then stands up next to Tina. Tina makes a face, and waves her hand, indicating her disgust. Faith notices a bruise on her forehead.

"Where'd you get that?" Faith asks, staring at her hairline. Little bits of last night start to come back to her. "Oh shit…"

" Yeah, thanks, but you should see the other guy. Actually, you can. In the bathroom mirror. Go clean up before I puke, ok? You smell like barf." She turns, walking back to the kitchen, sitting at the table.

Faith stumbles into the bathroom, hitting the toilet first to pee. After she flushes, she gets up and stares at herself in the mirror. _Shit, look at me. I'm a fucking mess. Shit, when did Tina become Rocky Balboa, anyway?_

She peels of her shirt, wincing some as her muscles ache. She looks at her body and sighs. _Bruise, bruise…cut… bruise. God, she must've gone nuts on me. I wish I could remember it better._

Removing the rest of her clothes, she turns on the shower, waiting a second for the water to warm up. Then she steps in, and moans softly as the warm water cleanses off the wounds from last night.

She stands for a moment, shutting her eyes and letting the warm water pour over her. The warmth eases the throbbing in her head, as it reveals a whole bunch of new little scrapes she didn't know she had.

She grabs the soap, and gently begins to lather herself down, wincing as soap hits cuts and scrapes. Still, she carefully cleans herself; she gets every bit of skin she can reach.

Finally she just sits under the warm spray, letting the soap and tension flow off her; the water feels like a warm embrace. She sighs, feeling a little better. Turning off the shower, she steps out, carefully drying herself. She moves to the medicine cabinet, and spends a few minutes treating the larger cuts and abrasions. Mostly, she just bruised and aching.

She wraps herself in a towel, and walks to the bedroom. She doesn't look at Tina in passing; Tina seems to be ignoring her as well. Entering the bedroom, she sees an old pair of her jeans, and a t-shirt waiting for her, along with some clean underwear. Dressing quickly, still wincing a little, she walks into the living room, and heads for the kitchen.

Tina just watches her, shaking her head. _God, look at her. I really, really lost it last night. But dammit, she had it coming. She's acting like a baby, and I'm damned tired of picking her up, or cleaning up after her. She's gotta stop this crap._

"Feel better?" Tina asks, as Faith sits down across from her, a steaming mug in hand.

"No," Faith says shortly, staring at her mug.

Faith brings the coffee to her lips, and winces when the cut on her lip meets hot coffee. She swallows the coffee, and nearly chokes. She looks up at Tina, eyes wide.

"What is this crap? Are you trying to kill me?" Faith sets the evil liquid down.

"Espresso roast, double strength. I figured you'd need something strong this morning," Tina looks at her impassively. "After that little drunken fiasco last night."

Faith looks at her, then looks down at the coffee. She brings it back to her lips. Wrinkling her nose, she sips some, looking pained. She winces, and sets the coffee back down.

"Oh, c'mon you big baby, drink it. You'll feel better," Tina looks at her face, and then gets up, heading for the freezer. "I better get some ice for that face."

"Thanks," Faith mumbles, sipping more of the awful brew. She sighs and stares forward. "Look about last night…"

"Don't start bitching to me. I could've hurt you a lot worse," Tina comes over with the ice, wrapped in a towel. "Hold this against your face."

Faith does so, switching the mug to the other hand. "Yeah, about that. When did you become Mike Tyson, anyway? Fuck, I thought for sure you were going to rip my ear off. Never mind beating me to shit." She grins ruefully, first grin of the day.

"Well, what the fuck choice did I have? After you left, I fucking needed to take care of myself and the girls. I tried hiring muscle, but they wanted to either fuck me or screw me, if you catch my drift. Finally, I just decided to take matters in my own hands. Been working out, taking training on street fighting."

"Yeah, and if you run into some old girlfriend who's drunk, you can beat the shit outta her too. Bonus!" Faith chuckles, and winces. "Shit, now I can't even laugh. Fuck you." She frowns, pushing the ice closer.

" Don't get pissy on me, Faith McKerrigan. If you hadn't been fucking me around with this shit for the last few months, maybe I wouldn't be so pissed at you! Yeah, I'm pissed, you stupid Mick bitch." Tina gets up, red spots flaming on her cheeks, and gets some more coffee. "I shoulda just left ya there. Let Jake throw ya out in the street, and let ya get rolled or stabbed or worse. So shut up and be grateful I showed up."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, shit…" Faith sighs. "Just you really whaled on me, and I'm fucking hurting. Why didn't you just fucking knock me out and be done with it?"

"Maybe I'm tired of being called nasty names when I'm trying to help your skanky ass," Tina sits back down, frowning deeply. "Don't worry, won't happen again. The helping part, I mean."

"How many times do I have to say 'I'm sorry'? Things have just been going really shitty lately…" Faith feels cornered and frustrated. "I just can't seem to get control of nothing… it's all just slipping away from me…"

"You've stopped trying Faith. That's not the girl I know," Tina reaches out, touching Faith's hand. "The Faith I know fights, doesn't give up. She doesn't wallow, feeling sorry for herself. She gets back up, dusts herself off, and gets back in there…" She stares at Faith. " The girl I know wouldn't let a woman mess her up like this…"

"Shut up, Tina. You don't know shit about it. This is different." Faith's growls softly at her.

"Yeah, sure, different," Tina waves dismissively. "She dumped you. Face it, and get over it. Stop being such weak sister, moping around like a wounded bird. Get off your ass and get on with it."

"Whatever," Faith gets up, putting her cup in the sink, "I can see talking to you is wasted breath." She moves towards the living room to collect her stuff. "What do you care, anyway? Like you'd even know what it feels like."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tina almost jumps out of her chair, following her. "Who the hell's been bailing your ass out lately? Paulie? Don't thinks so. Last time I talked to him, he didn't even want to see you. He's tired of your fucking up. I'm tired of it too. What the hell do you expect?"

"Nothing," Faith gives her a dismissive look," I don't expect nothing. If you don't wanna help, don't. I'm not putting a gun to your head or nothing. Same for Paulie. Fuck you both."

"Sweet. Blow away the people that care about ya, Faith. Really smart," Tina sneers at her. " But Paulie was right about her, wasn't he? He told ya straight out that she'd dump ya, and hey, she did!"

"Where the fuck you hear that?" Faith turns on her.

"Paulie told me last time he went to bail your ass outta jail. Said next time he was gonna leave you there, that he'd warned you and was tired of your fucking self pity." She gets in Faith's face. "I told him he shoulda left you there that time. That you needed to learn to stop thinking you're better than everybody else. Think cause some rich bitch was hanging out with you, that you're shit don't stink no more, Faithy? You're nothing, Faith, and that goes double for that old broad you were hanging out with. She was slumming, Faith, don't you get that? She was using you, you dumb assed hard headed Mick. She didn't give a shit about you! God, even Merrie could see that!"

SLAP!

"Shut up, you stupid cow!" Faith yells at her. "You don't know shit!"

Tina touches her face where Faith slapped her.

"Think that changes anything, dumb ass?" She starts dancing around Faith like a boxer, weaving and bobbing. "C'mon baby, hit me again if it helps. But it doesn't change the facts. She didn't give a shit about you, and you were a fucking fool to care a damn about her! Still are, seeing how you're fucking up your life over her!" She taunts Faith as she dances around her. "You thought you were all so much better than me, didn't you, Faith? Look at you now, girl. Lost your chi-chi job, lost your fucking house, stopped doing anything but drinking and fighting. You loser. Look down your nose at me cuz I got a porn shop on Delancy street. Well, at least I got something, Faith. You got nothin'. Who's the loser now, Faith?" She moves in closer." You are, bitch. You're a big fat loser, Faith. Shit, don't blame her for dumping you…" She leans in close. "You always were kinda crappy in bed."

Tina poked the bear one too many times.

Faith grabs her around the neck, putting her in a half nelson. Using her weight, she drives Tina to her knees.

" Is that a fact, Tina baby?" Faith says, her voice soft, but with an ice cold chill in it. " Then how come you practically begged me to stay when I dumped you, bitch?" She puts the squeeze on Tina. "Remember how you offered me half the business, if only I'd stay?" She almost whispers in her ear. "I might've stayed too, but I didn't wanna get a disease from the skanks you were sleeping with behind my back." Breaking the choke hold, she uses her foot to push Tina away. She stands there, braced for Tina to get up and attack her.

But Tina doesn't attack her. For a moment, she just lies there, face in the carpet. Then she pushes herself up, and sits, looking at Faith standing over her.

Faith reaches down to help her up, but Tina waves her away. She pushes herself up off the floor; without saying a word, she goes over to the kitchen. She grabs another cup of coffee, and stares at Faith in the living room.

"I'm done bailing your ass out, Faith. I'm not running after ya no more if you get yourself in trouble. That clear?" Her tone is even and low.

Faith nods, and walks over to the table. She looks down at Tina." I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lost it there. I know you were just…"

" Bullshit. I was trying to hurt you, and I succeeded," She sips her coffee. "If it helps, you hurt me too." She licks her lips, then continues, "Ok, I need some help at the arcade. You know the routine; you've done it before. Have a big convention coming into town. Should be busy. You up for it?"

" Yeah, sure," Faith says. _Fuck, I need the money. What the fuck else am I gonna do?_ "I'm in."

" Take off your shirt…"

" What?" Faith makes a face.

" Get real. I just wanna see how bad you look. Gotta know if you're gonna be in shape by Saturday."

Faith lifts her shirt, exposing her cuts and bruises. Tina looks at them carefully, then nods. " Ok, didn't hurt you that bad. If you don't go out for like football in the next couple of days, you should be ok." She notes Faith hasn't put back on her t-shirt. "You can put your shirt back on now."

"You sure you want me to?" Faith grins at her. "I mean, you might wanna have a little practice session. Been awhile since we worked together." She kneels down in front of Tina, arching her back just a little so her breasts push out towards Tina." Maybe you need to audition me on the casting couch?" She runs her finger along Tina's thigh. "For old time's sake?"

"You're fucking unbelievable," Tina snorts. "Put the shirt on, dumb ass. This is strictly business, got it?" She sighs, and looks at the couch. "I guess you can't fuck that thing up much more than it already is, so you can sleep here… on the couch… until you can afford something for yourself. Of course, you'll pay me some rent out of your earnings."

"Sure we couldn't work out a trade deal?" Faith licks her lips. " Might work out for both of us."

_You fucking bitch. You'd do it, wouldn't you? And you know I'd probably do it, too, if you weren't playing the whore so good._

" Put your shirt on, ok?" Tina makes a sour face. "Glad you brought that up. I don't run a fucking escort service, so there's a strict no touching the patrons policy. Don't care what they offer you. Not getting shut down for prostitution." _Deal with that, bitch!_

It's Faith's turn to look sour. "Not stupid. Not all of us are slutty 'tards like Merrie." Faith stands up, putting on her shirt. "Anything else, boss? Or am I free to go?"

"Where you going?"

"Oh fuck. Is it gonna be like that? I gotta like ask permission to go out?"

"Yeah, until you show me I can trust you. I need you sober Faith. A drunk won't do me no good."

"Well, _mother_, I thought I'd grab some of my clothes and shit, unless you want to wear the same crap over and over again? I'd be smelling real pretty by the weekend, don't ya think? Then, I gotta figure some place to store my crap until I can find a new place." She looks at Tina balefully. "That ok with you?"

"There's a shed out back. I use it sometimes for storage, but it's empty right now. You can put your crap in that."

"Thanks," Faith says, heading for the door.

"Faith, one more thing," Tina calls out to her.

" What?" Faith asks, impatiently.

"You were ready to rip my head off when I insulted that… what's her face," Tina says, rubbing her neck. " Why didn't you fight harder for her?"

Faith stands there for a moment, thinking. Her lips tighten up, and her eyes narrow.

"Cuz she didn't want me to," She finally answers, "And I don't know why."

She turns and walks out of the door, slamming it behind her.

Tina stares at the door for a moment, then grabs her sweatshirt off the coat hook.

_Did you even ask?_ She wonders, leaving the apartment.

2

" Dawn! Buffy! Hurry up. You'll be late!"

_Oh yeah, we wouldn't want THAT to happen!_ Buffy thinks to herself, as she checks herself out in the mirror.

She is wearing a tight denim skirt. Tight, and very short. Her top consists of a tank top cut at the midriff, exposing her brand new belly ring. Large hoop earrings, two inch wedges and a denim shoulder bag complete the ensemble.

She turns this way, and that, taking in the look. She smiles, then frowns…then smiles again.

"You'll never get away with that, you know," Dawn, standing in the doorway, inspects Buffy's outfit.

"Shut up, brat. Anyway, what do you know?" Buffy says, doing another turn while checking herself out. "It's not about getting away with this outfit. It's all about the fine art of negotiation."

"Huh?" Dawn says, confused. "Hey! When did you get your navel pierced? The parentals are gonna freak!"

Buffy just smirks, and turns towards her. " It's all about negotiation, Dawn. I don't want to wear this…" She points at a pair of jeans on the chair. "This makes me look like a hooker. I want to wear the hip huggers. But you know if I go down there with them first, they're gonna say ' no way, upstairs, change now'. Or some crap like that. So, I go down like this…" she walks over, putting on an oversized black leather jacket"… and I know they'll freak, and send me upstairs. I come down in the hip huggers, and they're so relieved they don't make a deal out of it. Simple."

" You're nuts, you know that?" Dawn says, smirking, "All you do lately is figure ways to get around the parentals. What's the deal?"

"No 'deal', Dawnie," Buffy wanders over to her jewelry tree. She starts putting rings on her fingers. "Just tired of them telling me how to breathe. I'm a grown up, Dawn. Really don't need their fashion tips." She frowns. "Or their crap, for that matter."

" Buffy, what's with you? Why the hostile?" Dawn looks a little worried. This so wasn't Buffy. At least, not until this last summer when she started acting crazy.

" Buffy, Dawn! Come on! We gotta go!"

"That's our cue, Dawn. Let's motor." Buffy starts towards the door. "We wouldn't want to be late our first day at Mayberry high, would we?"

"You look like a slut," Dawn says, frowning. She knows, somehow, Buffy is going to get away with something else. _Or not, and then I get the fall out crap from it. Why does she have to make MY life miserable, too?_

"Perfect," Buffy smiles, heading down the hall.

Joyce fusses about the table a bit, setting down a couple of plates for Buffy and Dawn. She looks over to see Hank talking on his cell phone, his own breakfast untouched. She sighs.

_God, can't he put that thing down for a few minutes?_

" Hank, c'mon, Buffy and Dawn are going to be down in a minute. Can't you do that later?"

Hank Summers looks up, a little irritated. He covers the phone's mouthpiece. "This is important, Joyce. I'll be done in a few minutes."

"Henry Summers, this is the _only _time during the week the girls get to see you. Can't you at least…?"

"Joyce, I said I'd be done in a minute, now let it go!" He turns back to the phone. " Sorry about that. Yeah…I'm here… go ahead…" he listens to the person on the other end of the line.

_Yeah, wouldn't want to keep your girlfriend waiting._ Joyce thinks, bitterly.

Buffy and Dawn make their entrance, and head for the table.

"Hold on!" Joyce stops them in their tracks." What do you think you're wearing?" Joyce inspects Buffy's outfit.

"Oh, mom, don't have a Guernsey. It's just a dress…" Buffy says, trying to slip to the table.

"Sure, dear. Just a dress. Just one you're NOT wearing out of this house, "Joyce says, tone firm." Go upstairs and change into something less… revealing."

" What? Nothing's showing," Buffy shakes her head. "Don't be such a stick, Joyce."

Joyce feels the blood in her neck. " That's mom to you, miss. And you're not wearing that dress. Get me? Or that top… I have scarves that have more material in them."

" There is _nothing_ wrong with what I'm wearing!"

"It's not appropriate, Buffy. Stop arguing with me, and go upstairs and change!"

" Dad? Daddy!" Buffy turns to Hank. " Can I wear this? Please?"

Hank looks up from his call, and blanches a little. Joyce throws him a 'don't you dare let her wear that' look.

Hank frowns.

" Buffy, go change. That's something I never want to see you wearing again."

" But dad!" Buffy pushes it. She pouts a little, for effect.

" No, ' but, dad', Buffy. Go change!" Hank orders, turning back to his phone. "And hurry up, we're late already."

Buffy looks at the both of them, frowning. "God, you're both a bunch of Nazis," She cries. She turns around, and smiling so her parents can't see it, winks at Dawn. She hurries upstairs.

Dawn grits her teeth. For a moment, she's tempted to tell her mom what the scam was, but that would be breaking the no –nark rule. Plus, Buffy could make her life monstrously miserable in too many subtle ways to count. Better to just be quiet. _But darn it, I'm so tired of her getting away with everything, and I'm busted if I cross my eyes._

"Hi, dad," She says as she sits down.

" Hi, sweetie," He replies. He throws Joyce a 'at least you didn't ruin this one' look, and goes back to his conversation.

Joyce sighs, feeling the tight band across her forehead get tighter. _As if you're any help with the girls. I get them 24/7/365. You're here on weekends… if you don't have to work. _She sits down, sipping her coffee. _And we all know Buffy's a ' daddy's girl'. She's probably doing this deliberately, just to…_

Buffy reappears in the dining room, wearing the hip hugger and a top that while longer than the last, still doesn't quite reach her jeans. She smiles, and sits next to Dawn.

Joyce still isn't happy. _God, did you spray paint those pants on?_ But it's better than the last outfit. And she's really not wanting any more unpleasantness this morning. She sighs, and sips her coffee, to avoid saying anything. _But don't think this is over, young lady. I saw that belly ring… we're going to have a little talk about that later._

Hank closes his phone. Looking at his watch, he stands up, downing the last of his coffee.

"Sorry, ladies, but I've got to be going. I'm rather late already," Hank starts to move around the table. He stops by Buffy. "That's much better, honey. See? That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

"No, daddy," Buffy smiles, as Hank leans over to kiss her forehead. "Have a good week at work."

"Thanks sweetie," Hank says, turning to Dawn. " Goodbye, sweetie. Be good. See you Friday night." He smiles," Well, if I don't have to work, anyway."

_I'm not the one you got to worry about, Dad._ Even so, Dawn files Buffy's trick under things to remember.

" Bye, Daddy," Dawn says, kissing his cheek.

Hank goes around, and gives Joyce a kiss on the cheek. She has to use her self control not to shudder.

"See you Friday." He says, patting her shoulder.

She forces a smile. _I won't be holding my breath. _" Have a good week at work, Hank."

He looks at her for a moment, then shrugs and walks to the door. He grabs his coat, and leaves.

Buffy, eating her breakfast, looks at her mom. She's conflicted.

_How does she do that? I mean, you'd have to be stupid to not know what's going on. But she pretends like nothing's happening. What's her deal? Why doesn't she call him on it?_ She sighs. _Of course, if she weren't cold as an ice cube, maybe he wouldn't have to look elsewhere for affection._

"So, you guys looking forward to the first day of school?" Joyce tries to break the awkward silence.

"Oh, sure, mom. No friends, new school here in good old Sunnydale. Yeah, I'm just shaking with anticipation."

Joyce bites her lip, and counts to 10 quickly to keep from making an angry response.

"Buffy, don't do this, ok? You know why we moved up here. We all needed a new start."

"That's great for you and Dawn and dad, maybe, but all I know is I was in my last year at Hemery. This was supposed to be my hear, and now I'm stuck in some new school where I know nobody. It sucks!"

" Buffy," Joyce sighs, trying to smooth it over." It's going to be fine. You'll make new friends, and …"

Buffy stands suddenly, a sour look on her face. "I'm not hungry. I'll wait in the car." She starts out of the dining room.

" Buffy! Finish your…" but Buffy's already out the door. It slams behind her.

Joyce sighs heavily, and turns to her remaining daughter. "Am I the world's worst mom, or what?"

"The world's worst? No… I'm sure there are a couple out there worse," Dawn teases her. She smiles. "Don't pay attention to Buffy, mom. She's just being a brat. Surprise! NOT!" She grins. "I think she's just pissed because she doesn't get to be Guacamole Queen again, and isn't like Head Cheerleader and crap. She'll get over it."

_I wonder?_ Joyce thinks, frowning. _I wonder if she really will?_

"So, what? You don't want to be Guacamole Queen then, Dawn?" She teases her youngest daughter.

"Naaaw… anyway, I don't have to worry. I'm cuter, prettier and taller. I've so got it over her. I'm gonna rule Sunnydale High by the time I hit senior year." She puts on a goofy little smile. " Queen Dawnie. Yeah, kinda like the sound of that." She bursts out laughing.

_Thank you, Gods of teenage daughters, for this one. Thank you, thank you, and oh, thank you!_

"C'mon, we better join Buffy before she hotwires the car and takes off without us," Joyce says to Dawn. "Oh, god, I didn't mean that!" She blushes.

"Mom? I wouldn't put it past her," Dawn grins. She gets up, and exits the dining room.

A little tiny icicle forms in Joyce's stomach. _She would…couldn't… could she? I mean, lately I just… Oh stop it, Joyce. She's not going to start stealing cars. Get a grip._

She rushes to catch up with Dawn.

3

Faith struggles with the overloaded hand truck, pushing it down the uneven pavement of the alley behind Tina's boutique. It almost spills a few times, but she manages to keep it upright with the load intact. She finally reaches to door to the Tina's storage shed.

Tina, taking break, watches Faith grapple with the load, feeling some little amusement. After all she's been through with Faith lately, she's disinclined to actually help her. But watching her push the handcart along, hitting a pothole and almost losing it? Priceless. Finally, she gets up and meets Faith at the rear shed.

"Need help?" Tina asks, with faint interest. She stands by as Faith struggles to keep the cart upright and fish the key out her pocket.

"No, I got it. Now." Faith is well aware Tina's been sitting there watching her the whole time. " Did you like the show? Sorry, last load. Guess you'll have to find something else to amuse you." She almost loses the hand truck again when she switches hands to check her other pocket. "Damn… do you think you could hold that straight?" She looks at Tina.

"Dunno. Might fall on me. But I'd be happy to search your pockets while you hold it," Tina sniggers, watching Faith fumble around.

"No thanks," Faith mutters, finally finding the key. "Got it!" She says triumphantly, holding up the key. Then she realizes that she has to work the lock and open the door, all the while holding the cart steady, or it'll roll down the little incline to the shed, spilling her stuff.

Tina watches, hands on hips as Faith leans the hand truck against her body, and trying to reach out to the lock to manipulate it. _God, I couldn't buy better entertainment,_ she thinks, watching Faith's frantic attempts to work the lock. Finally, having been amused enough, she walks over and grabs the key from Faith.

" Here, let me get it," She smirks, walking over and unlocking the shed. She throws open the door.

"Thanks," Faith says, not all that gratefully, as she wheels in the cart. Tina follows her in, flipping on the light.

Faith trucks the load over to a corner where the rest of her stuff is sitting. She upends the truck, pulling it out from the bottom box. Putting the truck along the wall, she starts to try to organize the boxes she just brought in.

Tina's attention is caught by what appears to be an artist's easel, leaning at the far end of the pile. Next to it is something covered by blankets. She wanders over to investigate.

"Don't touch that stuff," Faith says, seeing where she's going.

"What?" Tina says, pulling away the blanket." What're you hiding? Drugs?" She turns and looks. And stops dead.

It's her portrait. The one Faith painted years ago, the one she used to have hanging in her house. Faith's first nude portrait.

"I thought this got lost when I moved… you still have it?" Tina turns to her, her cheeks flushed. "Why?"

"Dunno, guess I never got around to painting over it," Faith says, not looking at her. She makes herself busy.

Tina feels her irritation rise. "Paint over it? You'd do that?" Her tone is annoyed. "Look, if you don't want it, can I have it?"

The only answer she gets is a small grunt when Faith stacks a large box on top of another.

"C'mon, Faith. I mean, if you don't want it…"

"Didn't say that, did I?" Faith studiously avoids looking at her.

"You just said you were going to paint over it."

"No, I said I hadn't gotten around to painting over it," Faith says, turning towards her. "Maybe I never will."

"God, you're such a jerk!" Tina declares, turning away from painting. "Forget it. Don't want it anyway. It's crap."

"Yeah, you told me that before," Faith walks over to cover the paintings. "When we broke up. You said I was crappy at painting, and you didn't want it, and that you'd just burn it or something." She stares down at the paintings, then pulls out Tina's portrait. "Here, just take the damned thing. Do whatever… burn it or trash it …" She covers the rest of the paintings. "I don't give a damn." She lets Tina's painting lean against the rest, and walks away.

Tina walks over, and kneels by the painting. She stares into it, losing herself for a moment.

"Why'd you quit painting?" Tina asks, staring at herself staring back at her. "You were good…really good."

" Yeah, you told me," Faith, at the doorway, looks out. "C'mon, can we get outta here?"

"I mean it, Faith. I just said other stuff to hurt you," Tina stands up, going to her. "You were different. Better. You had something here…" She gestures at the painting. "I was pissed because you were leaving me, but I knew you had something…" She touches Faith's arm. "You should go back to it."

"Really not interested, ok? Got other stuff to do." Faith looks down at her, then looks away. "Gotta find somebody."

"Her, huh?" Tina's lips form a tight line. "Yeah, she really fucked you up, didn't she?" Her tone is bitter. "Can't think of nothing but her…"

"Not her, Tina," Faith shakes her head, "I know pretty much where she is," She turns to Tina. "No, she dumped me, I get that. I'm gonna get past it. But I gotta know why. She wouldn't tell me… not the whole thing. And I gotta know, you know?" Her face goes cold. "Yeah, she won't tell me, but I know someone who knows…and when I find that son of a bitch…"

" What? Who? Faith, you're making like no sense," Tina frowns. "Who the hell you talking about?"

" Bremer. Jack Bremer," Faith grins a sour smile. "You remember old Jack. Fishing hat guy."

Tina's eyes go wide, and her face darkens. "Oh yeah, I remember that bastard. Tried to run me outta business when I first bought the place. Guess the sleaze-o's around here didn't want me running the shop. He and some hired thugs tried to run me out," She smiles, but it's not a happy smile. "Remember I got a gun and stuck it under his chin to convince the bastard to back off." She looks at Faith. "Yeah, he was here before that even, when I was just running the place for the old guy. He tried to intimidate you. I remember you left him a couple of bruises…" She smirks, "So, that bastard's involved? Shit, I haven't seen him in nearly 2 years…"

" I saw him in Salem… when I was there… and he was at the meet Joyce had with … god, I guess it was her husband… couldn't have been no art dealer… all I know is after that she dumped me…and didn't give no good reason. I'm figuring, old Jack's got a clue," Faith's mouth twists down, "And I'm gonna beat it outta him."

"Faith, maybe you should just let it alone."

"Would you, Tina? Be honest. Would you just let it alone, if it were someone you loved?" Faith looks at her intently. "Would ya?"

Tina just stares into her eyes for a moment, then looks out the door.

"No, guess I wouldn't," She says, her voice flat. She starts back towards the store. "Gotta get back to work."

She starts across the alley, then stops. She turns back to Faith.

"I'll put the word out, see if anyone's seen him around. That guy's around somewhere, I'm sure. We'll find him."

" Thank, Tina," Faith says, smiling a small smile. " You're the best."

" Yeah, too bad you couldn't figure that out like, sooner?" Tina shrugs, and walks away.

Faith exits the shed, and locks it. She starts down the alley towards her car.

"Yeah, maybe," She says softly.

She exits the alley.

4

Buffy and Dawn stand looking at the sign in front of Sunnydale high, looking puzzled.

**Sunnydale High School**

**"Totus peto of scientia es exspectata hic."**

(All seekers of knowledge are welcome here.)

"What do you think it means, Buffy?" Dawn tilts her head to the side.

"Probably, the end of our lives as we know it," Buffy says, looking around at the campus. "Would ya look? They got fences around the campus. Geeze, they gotta lock 'em in to keep them in."

Neither is thrilled to be here. Back home in L.A. , both were relatively popular girls. They had their friends, they knew their place in the social order, pretty high up on the ladder, and they each had their 'special' guy.

Now, that was all done. They're here, in a knew school, the ' new kids' having to start all over. They'd never been ' the new kid' before, they'd always had their friends with them. They did know, however , how new kids are usually treated.

Like social diseases. Something you hear about, something that happens to other people. Something you don't want around you in case it's catching.

Buffy is particularly not loving this. She was very popular back at Hemery. A cheerleader throughout her career in high school, she'd just been elected Captain of the team. She was sure to have a lock on Homecoming Queen and Prom Queen… if they'd stayed in L.A.

_Why'd we have to come to this jerkwater town, anyway? I mean, mom and dad got back together. Couldn't we have stayed in L.A.? It was my last year at Hemery. This was so gonna be my year. God, would you look at this place? Could it be more Mayberry? God, I hate this. All of it. My life is sooo over!_

"Well, I guess it doesn't look too bad…" Dawn tries to smile, looking at the fences. " Maybe the kids will be cool…"

Buffy gives her sister a look.

" You're kidding, right? I mean, we've looked around Sunnydale. Geeze, what the hell do the kids do around here, anyway? Did you get a look at that joke they call a mall? And there's one movie theater, downtown, that seems to only play films made before 1970. One Starbucks, Dawn. One. Do they like line up to get their skinny lattes?" Buffy makes a rude gesture. " God, this is just a big waste of time, ya know? Why'd we have to move to this crummy little town, anyway?"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't started hanging with those creeps back in L.A., we could've stayed. Or did you forget you nearly got expelled from Hemery? You and you're moron friends really trashed the gym, Buff. What was that about?"

"You're blaming me for this?" Buffy makes a face. "I get suspended, so we move to Mayberry? Give me a break, ok? You know well as I do mom wanted to come up here. God knows why, but she did," Buffy's lips draw tight across her face. "We were cool in L.A. Why couldn't she just …"

"What, Buffy? Go along, forget that dad was…"

" You don't know he was …"

" You don't know he wasn't…"

" Excuse me!"

Buffy and Dawn turn to see a tall brunette girl, surrounded by a group, looking at them with a rather haughty expression on her face. They stare at her blankly.

"Move it," an imperious voice calls out just as they're shoved apart." Can't you losers find somewhere else to stand? Preferably not in my path?"

"What the…?" Buffy starts to reply, then stops speaking.

Probably the most elegantly dressed student she's ever seen stops and peers over her 300 dollar sunglasses at her. A smirk comes to her face, as she looks over Buffy and Dawn. She is surrounded by a coterie of girls, all similarly dressed.

"Well, well who have we got here?" She says to her group. "Barbie and Skipper."

The girls laugh. Buffy, on the other hand, feels a flush creeping up her neck. _Who does she think she is? And were did she get those Manolo Blahniks? God, to die for!_

"I gotta say, love the hair. Rather daring, don't you think girls? It's so… last month," The girl tilts her head. "Well, what can you expect?" She shrugs.

"Names Buffy. And while I'm not too impressed with Sunnydale, so far anyway, I gotta admit, they must pay the hookers pretty well," Buffy gives the girl a withering glance, "seeing how you're dressed honey."

The group of girls gasps. The tall brunette, however, just smiles. A nice, frozen smile with two tiny red dots appearing on her cheeks.

"Buffy?" The girl repeats, with a few drops of acid in her tone. "What kind of name is Buffy?"

Again, more laughter from the girls.

"You know something, Buffy? You're… spunky," The girl leans in, "I hate spunky. But, seeing you're new, I'll let it slide… this time. Do you have any idea who you're speaking to?"

"Well," Buffy says, with a straight face, 'I don't see a button saying 'I'm a stuck up ho, ask me how!' but, I figure that's close to the mark."

"Witty," the girl says, sourly," Spunky and witty. I see we're just going to have LOADS of fun together. Well, my name is Cordelia Chase. Hey, Skipper," She calls out to Dawn.

"Names Dawn, fashion victim," Dawn smirks.

"Dawn. How pretty. But you know what? I like Skipper better, so we'll just call you that. Just thought you might want to take notes, so you don't make the same social faux pas you're friend here's making."

" Oh, ok," Dawn pulls out her notebook with an elaborate gesture. She turns to the first page. "Let's see. Tall brunette dressed like a hooker, Cordelia Chase. Snotty 'tude to go with the outfit. Perfectly accessorized." Dawn close her notebook. " Got it, Cord_eelya_ . So, did you buy that dress, or just kill the cow yourself?"

The group around Cordelia titters at the remark, to immediately fall deathly silent when Cordy gives them a look.

The sisters turn and give each other the high five. They turn back, staring at a slightly incensed Cordelia Chase. They smile broadly at her.

"Well, aren't you two the snarky twins? I'd almost think you were related. You have that kind of washed out look in common."

"Actually, we're sisters," Dawn pipes up, "the Summers' sisters. You might wanna remember that. Maybe your toadies could write that down for you?"

Buffy and Dawn exchange another high five.

"Summers, two. The bimbo, nothing." Buffy grins.

"You know? For white trash, you two are almost clever. But then, that's not much, considering," Cordelia turns to Dawn," Listen up, Skipper. You might want to remember this. I rule this school. And I can make your life miserable around here. No, wait, I _WILL_ make your life miserable around here. So, if you're as smart as you pretend to be," She taps Dawn in the chest, "I'd make sure you stay out of my way." She pokes Dawn again. "Got me?" She pushes her a little.

She gives a little gasp when Buffy grabs her wrist.

"Hey, let go of me, Barbie." She tries to pull away, but Buffy holds on. "Let go!"

"Listen to me, _Ho_delia," Buffy glares at the taller girl. "I don't care who you _think _you are. No one touches my sister like that. Got me?" She drops Cordelia's wrist like a spoiled piece of fish.

Cordelia is about to make a cutting remark when she sees the fire in Buffy's eyes. For some reason, it makes her feel nervous. _God, what's her trauma? I was just trying to clue in junior._

"What's your trauma? I was just cluing in your bratty sister, " She raises her nose, as if she's smelled something foul. "Listen, both of you. Don't mess with me. Not if you want to make it through the first week." She turns to her group. "C'mon, I think we've mucked around enough with the peasants for today."

She turns, and starts up the steps, followed by her coterie.

Buffy, once they've gone inside, snickers.

"Whatta dork," Buffy shakes her head, "She might dress ok, but god, can you say moron?"

"Yeah," A male voice says from behind them, "She's pretty much a moron. But a dangerous moron."

Buffy and Dawn turn around to see a tall guy with black hair and a friendly smile, accompanied by a slender redhead, with a generous dusting of freckles and a slightly mischievous grin. They're both giving Buffy and Dawn the once over.

" Gotta admit, Xan, that was pretty gutsy of them, though."

" Yeah, but points off because they didn't know who Queen C is."

" Queen C?" Buffy looks puzzled.

" Cordelia, the one you just insulted," Dawn adds in.

" Oh yeah. The stuck up snotty bitch, got it. Queen C. How…quaint," Buffy says, smirking.

" Laugh now, grasshopper. But Queen C can make good on her threat," Xander, the boy, says. "She has the power of the dark force with her." He makes the sign of the cross in front of himself. "She's definitely evil."

" Grasshopper?" Buffy feels her neck reddening. She's a little touchy about her size.

" Xander, stop with the geek," The girl gives him a look. She turns to Buffy. "You got to forgive him. He sometimes just can't help himself."

" I was just giving a friendly warning to the new guys. Er, girls," Xander corrects himself. "I mean, you'd do that for anyone, right?"

" Who ARE you two?" Buffy can't decide whether to be annoyed or amused by the pair. " Are you like the social registry here, or what?"

" Or what, actually," The girl sticks out her hand. " I'm Willow, and this goofball is Xander."

"Hey," Xander sticks out his hand.

"Hey," Dawn takes Xander's hand. _Hmmm. Kinda cute. Geeky, but that's fixable. Could have yummy potential._

"Hey," Buffy says, a little put off by the two. " I'm Buffy, and this is my little sister, Dawn."

"Buffy? I'm taller than you," Dawn never gets tired of reminder her of that fact.

"Sorry," Buffy says, acidly, "My _kid _sister, Dawn."

" Not a kid, Buffy," She makes a face." Only two years younger than you, dope."

" Don't push it Dawnie," Buffy growls softly.

" I liked it better when you were a cheerleader. Then you were just overly peppy. The new grouchy? Not a good look for you."

" Cheerleader?" Xander and Willow look at each other, and step back a pace. "Sorry, we didn't know."

" They looked so normal," Willow says to Xander.

" You can't tell anymore by just looking at them. I think they all have a tattoo behind he right ear to identify them."

"Huh?" Both Buffy and Dawn are confused now.

"Being seen with us? Not good if you're like, going to be a cheerleader or something," Willow says, "When you stood up to Cordelia, we thought…"

"We thought wrong." Xander says, "Obviously, a power play." He looks at the Summers' sisters. "We'll go now."

Dawn sees the loss of a potential boyfriendly, and breaks from Buffy.

"Wait! I'm not a cheerleader," She says, moving towards Willow and Xander. "It's Buffy that's … well, pom-pom happy."

"I'm not a cheerleader!" Buffy protests, "Ok, I was a cheerleader, but I'm over it." _When did being a cheerleader become bad?_

"I dunno, she looks rather perky," Xander says, dead pan, " It could be a trick."

"Maybe we should take her by the trophy case. See if she breaks out into spontaneous cheering."

"She still has her old cheerleading outfit," Dawn says, "And her pom-poms."

"Sounds bad. Sounds really bad," Xander says, wisely.

Buffy looks at the three of them. She frowns, and backs away.

"You're crazy. Both of you. All three of you." She turns, and starts walking towards the entrance.

"Hey, hey… we were only kidding," Willow takes off after her, catching up. "It was just a joke."

Xander flanks her on the left.

"Yeah, I mean, we're in awe of what you did to Cordelia. We really like you."

"Get away from me," Buffy says, walking faster.

"Buffy, chill. It's just a joke," Dawn starts trotting to catch-up.

"Go away!" Buffy disappears inside the front doors.

"Where are you going?" Willow follows after. "You're new here. How do you know where you're going?" She disappears inside the doorway.

"Is she always so moody?" Xander turns to Dawn. "She seems majorly touchy."

Dawn shrugs, "She gets that way, sometimes. It's a blonde thing, I think."

"So, can I show you were the office is?" Xander smiles. _Pretty girl, isn't running the other way or trying to mace me. Bonus!_ "I mean, you got to go to the office, right? To check in."

" Sure," Dawn smiles.

The walk into the building together.

5

"I need a break, Tina"

Tina and Faith are sitting on the large bed, both nude. They're in a small 'peepshow' room, decorated to simulate a old Victorian style bedroom, including the imitation red velvet wallpaper, the four poster bed with a canopy, and other 'period' furniture. All in all the effect is somewhat cheap and tired, but effective enough for the clientele. They aren't there to look at the furniture.

"I told ya, Faith, there's a couple of conventions in town this weekend. We're making money hand over fist, and I can't afford to stop now. We don't get a lot of days like this."

"We've been at it all day nonstop. I need to get something to eat."

"Here, take this," Tina reaches across the bed to the nightstand. She opens a drawer, and comes out with a small plastic baggie. She opens it, and takes out a couple of pills. She hands them to Faith.

"What the hell are these?" Faith looks at the small white pills. _Like I don't know._

"Pure energy, babe. Take those, you'll be fucking flying, won't feel tired anymore," Tina grins. "Go on."

"Fuck you, Tina, you know I don't do this shit," Faith hands the pills back to Tina.

"Whatever, Fai. But not stoppin' the show so you can get a beauty rest. We're making 10 bucks for every 5 minutes, and frankly, this is the best it's been in awhile. So, no breaks, not for a few more hours."

Faith feels exhausted. She can't do another couple of hours without something. The look on Tina's face tells her she's not budging. She frowns, but puts out her hand. _What the fuck, who cares anyway?_

Tina grins, and hands her the pills. Faith pops them in her mouth, and swallows.

Just then a loud buzz is heard.

"Whoop! Showtime." Tina grabs Faith, and they go into an embrace.

The man, feeling nervous, draws the curtain on the private booth and goes to the single chair, sitting dead center a few feet from what appears to be a blank wall.

He's obviously had a few to drink, and is here on a 'dare' from his buddies. He's dressed conservatively, if somewhat inexpensively, in a gray suit and tie. He sits down, and looks around.

The booth itself is lit by a single overhanging bulb from the ceiling. To his right is a slot, the kind you see at vending machines that take bills. Over it is a little sign that says. " 10 dollars for five minutes." Mounted on the left side wall of the booth is a roll of paper towels, in case the customer needs to take care of him/herself. The final item is a small call box, with a button, mounted by the chair.

The man pulls out his wallet, and takes out a couple of bills. He slips a bill in the slot on the right, and a loud buzzer goes off. A large metal curtain rises, and behind it is revealed a bedroom, decorated in old fashioned heavy furniture, a four poster bed the centerpiece.

On the bed, two very naked women are in a passionate embrace, kissing and fondling each other. One is platinum blonde; the other has long brunette hair. Both seem unaware of his presence as they continue making out.

He sits quietly, but his breathing becomes shallower and louder, and his complexion takes on a reddish flush. He starts to sweat a little, and uses his handkerchief to daub at his brow. He continues to watch as the women seem to move onto more explicit, and sexually excited moves.

Finally, the brunette looks up at him and smiles. She grabs the blonde, and sitting up, holds her so she's facing the man. She starts playing with the blonde's breasts.

"Hey, baby. Like what you see? Like watching me play with my girlfriend?" Faith licks Tina's neck. "Pretty hot, huh?" She starts to rub her pelvis into Tina's butt. "So, stud, wanna play director? Put another 10 bucks in the slot, and use the call box to tell us exactly what you want us to do. We wanna make you hot, Stud." Faith winks at him.

The man gulps, and slips another bill into the slot. He then presses the call button.

"Can you… do you got one of those… well, fake dicks? I'd like to see you fuck your girlfriend" The man is almost salivating.

"Sure baby," Faith winks. She gets up, and going to the dresser, takes out a strap on. It's large, 10 inches long and 2 ½ inches thick. She slips the strap on over her hips, and adjusts it. When finished, she walks over the bed, standing so the customer can get a good look.

"Make her suck it," The man says eagerly, "God, I love to watch that."

"Sure, lover. Anything you want." She smiles seductively at the client.

Stepping back a little, she turns to Tina.

"C'mon, bitch. Come over here and suck my cock. Make it nice and wet so I can fuck your hot little cunt."

Tina slips off the bed, and walking over to Faith, kneels down and takes the dildo in her mouth. She starts to lick it and suck on the end, making little sighing happy noises. Faith holds her head, pretending to get off on getting her 'cock sucked'.

"Oh yeah, that's great. Do it more, take it down your throat," The man exclaims, reaching down and starting to rub himself through his suit.

For the next hour, the man kept feeding the slot bills as Faith and Tina simulated various acts of simulated sex. After awhile, he ' freed himself' from the restraints of his pants, using paper towels to contain his mess.

Finally, out of money, the steel curtain slid back down for the last time.

Somewhat embarrassed, he gets up and straightens his clothing, dropping a number of wadded towels into the small wastebasket. He looks at the wall longingly, wishing he had more money.

Finally, he exits the booth, head down so he won't be recognized.

And another customer enters, feeling nervous and anxious.

6

"Where is it?"

Joyce tears through her closet, looking for a specific blouse. Her lucky blouse.

She has a large deal today… one that could make this year a very good year. But there is still some negotiating to do, and she wants all the cards in her corner. So, she wants to wear her 'lucky' blouse.

This blouse has come through before, and she really wants it now.

But, she can't find it. She's looked everywhere, and the blouse just isn't anywhere. She's beginning to feel a little panic. This deal could really mean the difference between a good year, and a phenomenal year. She _NEEDS_ the confidence of the lucky blouse.

_Can't I ever catch a break? I swear, someone hates me up there. I need this blouse. Now, where is it? It's got to be here. It's HAS to be. I know I had it on the trip…_ She stops for a moment, thinking about the trip. About Boston… _I wore that the day I met Faith. That was… beyond lucky. So, don't you get it? I need that now! I need this now! You've taken just about everything else from me… her from me…_ She stops a second, the ache a little strong in her chest… _so, c'mon, give it up!_

As she's frantically pushing aside hung clothing, her foot hits something. She looks down, and sees a suitcase sitting on the floor of the closet.

_That's the one I took to Salem. I … god, I don't remember even unpacking it. Did I?_ Her brow furrows in thought, trying to remember if she did. She finally shakes her head. _No, I didn't. I just threw everything in there from the hotel room… and later, I didn't want to open it… it … god… could it be in there? But why would I pack it for Salem? Oh, god, never mind; just take a look!_

Joyce picks up the case, and moves to the bed. She puts it down, and stares at it for a moment. She reaches out, touching the case, almost caressing it. All of the things that happened in those couple of days come back, full force. It's like it occurred yesterday. She feels her eyes tear up, and she picks up the case, to return it to the closet.

_Forget it. I don't need a stupid blouse. Just stupid superstition, you know? God, if I can't make a deal without my 'lucky blouse', then maybe I should be doing something else. I really just don't need to open this can of worms…_

_And when exactly do you plan to open it again, Joyce? A year? Two years? 10 years? You're being stupid. Never mind the blouse, you've got to just deal with it, all of it. It's over, she's gone, and she's not coming back. Time to put it behind you, and accept what happened. What you told her that day was right. It just wasn't meant to happen. Sure, you lied through your teeth, telling her essentially you never loved her, but still… better you were cruel then, then string her along… right? You can't just keep it all locked up in some case now. Just …_

_Ok, ok, ok! I'll do it. But later. Not now. I've got to go now, get to the gallery. I've got an important deal to …_

_Now, Joyce. Right now, or you'll never do it. You'll shove it back in the closet, and try to forget about it, but it's always going to be there until you just deal and put it behind you! Just do it, and stop stalling!_

Joyce, still conflicted, takes the case back to the bed, flinging it down. She stares at the case, exasperated.

"I don't have time for this. I'll do it later," She mutters to herself. All the while, not moving.

_You know you won't. You'll find some excuse not to do it, and it'll never get done. What're you afraid of?_

"Nothing," She mumbles. She flips the locks, and opens the case.

Inside the case is a mess. She'd pretty much just thrown things in the bag, not wanting to hang around, but get out of there. She stirs around in the jumble, and pulls out a rather wrinkled blouse. She makes a face.

"Well, can't wear that," she grumbles, looking at her 'lucky' blouse. _Why'd I ever take it to Salem, anyway? God, teach me not to unpack a bag._ Sighing, she carefully folds it and puts it over a chair to be taken care of later. _Well, I guess this deal will just have to get done on my own skill and luck._ She pauses. _That's a scary thought, considering._

She walks back to the suitcase, about to close it up, when she stops. _What's this?_ She looks at it, and picks it up.

It's a maroon pull over sweater. Thing is, she doesn't have a maroon sweater. She doesn't particularly like the color on herself. And, it's not her size.

_Oh, god,_ it hits her, _it's got to belong to Faith. I must've gotten it mixed up with my stuff when I was packing…_

She stares at it, feeling the soft wool in her hands. She closes her eyes, and can almost see Faith wearing the sweater on that day in Salem. Unconsciously, she brings it to her nose, and inhales the remnants of Faith's scent still clinging to the sweater.

That day comes back to her in a flash, the good time they had, walking around, taking in the sites. The concert, the restaurant. And after. Definitely, the after. The memory is so strong, so bittersweet, it hits her like blow. The longings, the hurt all comes back in a flash. The way Faith looked at her, so hurt, when she told her it was over that next day. After that incredible night they'd spent together. That night that literally changed Joyce forever.

Without even realizing it, the tears start to flow down her face. She finds it hard to breath, until a small sob breaks out from her chest. She stands there, a little lost, clutching the sweater.

"Hey, Mom, do you think…" Buffy stops at Joyce's bedroom door, seeing her standing very still, shaking. " Mom? Is everything ok?"

" Buffy? Oh, sure, everything's fine," Joyce surreptitiously wipes away the tears. Stuffing the sweater back in the case, she closes it quickly, and returns it to the closet.

"Mom? Are you ok? Is something wrong?" Buffy asks, entering the room. "Have you been crying?" She notices Joyce's red face and eyes.

"No, sweetie. Everything's fine. Just a touch of allergies, you know?" She smiles, and touches Buffy's arm. "Did you want something, sweetie?"

"I was just wondering if I could hook a ride with you to the mall?"

"Sure, baby. I'm going past it on my way to the Gallery. Ummm… I need to finish dressing, Buffy. Could you give me 5 minutes?"

"Sure mom, " Buffy says, a slightly puzzled tone in her voice. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, honey, Fine. Don't worry, mom isn't falling apart or nothing. Wait for me downstairs."

"Ok, mom," Buffy says, leaving the room.

As she walks down the hall, Buffy has a bewildered expression on her face.

_She's lying to me. I know she is. Why? What happened? Why won't she tell me?_

_Why does she have to lie to me?_

7

Faith and Tina lay on the large Victorian bed, in a 69 position. Faith is on top, her head between Tina's thighs. They are both covered in fine sheen of sweat. They appear to be busily eating each other out.

The sound of the metal curtain separating the room from the viewing booth is heard, and as soon as they hear it clink on the floor, their apparent activity comes to a halt. They wait for a moment, to see if it's going to go back up. When it's clear it's not, Faith rolls off Tina, lying on her back. Both are panting a little.

They sit up, look at each other, and then burst out laughing.

"GAWD!" Tina almost shouts," I thought that son of a bitch was never gonna finish!"

"Shit, how long was that? How long were we performing for him?" Faith pants, overtaken by giggles.

"Dunno, musta been close to two hours," Tina wipes a little sweat off her brow." Shit, I don't remember. I think I fuzzed out after the first hour."

"How the hell did he like last so long?" Faith shakes her head." Fuck he musta taken Viagra or something. Crap, that stuff's gonna kill us one of these days." She laughs out loud. Then give Tina a look." That's not the only thing that'll kill us… geeze, Tina, what did you have for lunch?" Faith wrinkles up her nose.

"What? I had Chinese. Same as you!"

"Well, you musta gotten the bad batch, cuz whatever it was? Aint agreeing with you," Faith moves a little away from the smaller blonde. "I thought for sure you were gonna gas me to death."

"Sorry," Tina flushes. "I don't know where that came from. But hey, you could've brushed after. Breath, girl, whew!"

"Maybe. But at least I wasn't spewing cheap rocket fuel in your face."

"Hey, not my fault." Tina protests. "Couldn't help it!"

"You could've warned me, you know," Faith waves her hand in front of her face.

"You're evil!" Tina pouts, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Awww… did I hurt you widdle feewings…" Faith comes over, putting an arm around her. "…stinky butt?"

"Stop it!" Tina hits her, but giggles. Faith grins, giving her a hug.

" God, did you see how that guy was hung?" Faith's grin widens. "I swear, I've seen better hung squirrels."

"Faith, that's terrible," Tina frowns, then giggles. "True, but terrible."

"God, I wanted to give him a magnifying glass so he could find it. Looked like he was having trouble."

Both girls laugh at that.

It's been a few weeks since Faith started taking regular shifts at the boutique. Since her birthday, Faith has made a real effort to avoid needing 'rescue' again. She's started looking for Jack Bremer again, going to various bars and clubs around Southie to try to find the elusive sleuth. She hasn't been successful so far; but it gives her something to concentrate on. She knows if she can find the sleazoid, she can get some answers.

For Tina, it's been easier. No more midnight calls to drag her out of some bar, or 3 a.m. calls to bail her out of jail. She's still worried about Faith, however. This new mission, to find Jack Bremer, still is tied to the big problem. Despite Faith's words, she still hasn't really 'moved on' from Joyce. Any mention of 'Joyce' is likely to cause tension; she does her best to avoid the subject. Faith doesn't bring it up, and Tina certainly isn't going to bring it up. Still, it's worrisome to her; Faith could fall back off the wagon any time.

"So, ummm… think we can take a break?" Faith asks, looking at the shutters. "Things seem to have…"

At that moment, the red warning light goes off, along with the buzzer.

"Sorry, babe, looks like it's show time." She slips her arms around Faith," So, you wanna be on top this time?"

Faith shrugs, so Tina takes command, pulling her into a hot embrace as the steel curtain rises.

Faith, facing Tina and away from the window, starts to get into the kiss. _Could be worse,_ Faith thinks, as they start to fondle each other, _Some of the girls are just plain rough and stupid. Merrie, for one. God, that girl doesn't brush her teeth like… Ow! Hey! What the fuck?_

Tina has gone stiff in her arms, and is poking Faith.

"What? What is it?" Faith whispers, not sure what's wrong with her partner.

"Faith, look, look at the customer…" Tina whispers quietly at her.

" What're you talking about? I don't do that til later. Give them a little more show to …"

" Just look!" Tina hisses at her.

Faith takes a look behind her , and stiffens. She breaks the embrace with Tina.

" Son of a BITCH!"

Jack Bremer is pissed off.

"What the fuck's going on?" He growls, as the shutter starts to lower itself almost immediately after raising. "I paid my fucking money, what kinda rip off is this?"

He noticed the blonde girl reached over and pressed a button on the wall, and the curtain started going back down. _What kinda scam are they pulling around here? I paid up, show me the fucking girls. Stupid cunt closed the curtain. What's the deal?_

" Hey!" he gets up, walking to the window. "Open the fucking curtain back up. I paid for this, I don't like being ripped off. Get this shit back open." He starts pounding on the glass window. "Open it the fuck UP!"

When he gets no response, he blows his top.

"Goddamn stupid assholes! Who they _fuck_ do they think they're playing with? Jack Bremer don't get cheated, no sir. Fuck it, I'm going to the manager, and that fucker better do something, or I'm gonna…"

"What, Jack?" A female voice says from behind him. "What exactly are you gonna do?"

"What the hell? " He turns around to confront Tina and Faith. Both are dressed now; Tina in a black gi, Faith in sweats. "What're you sluts doing out here? You're supposed to be fucking each other over there!" he points at the window. "I'm so gonna get you bitches fired. I don't like being cheated!"

" Kinda hard, Jack, since I own the place," Tina says, moving in. "though, you did try to run me out couple of years back…"

"What the fuck you talking about, Blondie?" Jack asks, taking a harder look at you." Do I know you? How do you know my name? Fuck, I don't care…"

"Isn't that just like a guy?" Tina says to Faith. "Comes here, fucks around with you, and can he even remember your name? Whatta jerk, ya know?"

"… listen, Blondie," He starts to reach into his coat. "I don't know your game, but I'm gonna…"

Tina does a jump kick, slamming him into the wall. Faith comes over, and gut punches him.

"What were ya gonna do now, Jackie boy?" Tina kicks him in the stomach, "I didn't quite catch that."

Jack groans, holding his stomach. "What the fuck's wrong with you bitches?"

"Nothing wrong with me, Jackie boy," Tina feints another kick, and laughs when Jack tenses to block it. "My girl here, however, now she's pissed!"

Faith pushes Jack back hard up against the wall.

"Listen to me, sleazoid. Three months ago in Salem. You were working for a guy. Don't know his name for sure, but I think it's Summers. Remember that?"

"Don't know what you're talkin' about," Jack says.

"Whoa! Wrong answer," Faith brings her elbow up, smashing it across his face. " Does that help you remember, Jack?"

"Are you deaf?" Jack, starting to bleed from his cut lip, yells at her. "I don't know nothing about no three months ago in Salem."

"You're really not getting it, are ya, Baby?" Faith slams his head again, with the other elbow. "I know it was you, moron. You were that stupid fishing hat, thinking it makes you blend. It makes you stick out like a sore thumb. Now, again. What were you doing in Salem," She gut punches him.

"You stupid bitch!" Jack takes a swing at Faith, hitting her face. Tina kicks him, knocking him against the wall. She uses his stomach as a punching bag.

"Shit, why does everybody hit my face?" Faith says, furiously, holding her jaw. She comes over, and slams Jack against the wall. "Ok, mother fucker, I'm so done playing with you." She grabs his crotch." Now tell me what the fuck I wanna know or…" She gives his balls a gentle twist.

Even that is enough to make him groan. He looks at Faith, eyes wide.

" Talk, bastard! Or, I'm gonna fucking rip them off." She stares at him.

"Ok, ok, fuck…just don't…" He sweats a little. "What the fuck do you wanna know?"

"Salem. 3 months ago. You were working for a guy named Summers. What the fuck were you doing for him?" She makes like she's going to twist his crotch again." Tell me, you shit…"

"Fine, fine… yeah, I was working for that dude. I was trailing his wife. Tryin' to get some dirt on her." Despite his pain, he smirks at her. "God, what a joke. I couldn't get nothing in Boston. Not until you two went to Salem…" He sneers t her," then you two started getting all friendly like. Yeah, baby, really friendly. So I took some pics, and planted a camera in your room. Real nice stuff I got there."

"You fucking…" She twists his balls, hard. "Why, what was the deal? What did he want it for?"

Jack groans loudly, bending over.

"Divorce. She was suing him for divorce, and he wanted something on her. He threatened to take her kids away."

"What else?" She twists him again, as he groans loudly.

"Fuck, that's it. He was going to use the stuff I got on you two to have her declared an unfit mother," Jack babbles, afraid she's going to hurt him again. " Said he'd ruin her professionally and personally. God, the poor lady turned white…"

"You sleazy piece of shit," Faith drops her grip on his balls, and begins pounding on him. "You bastard. You fucking dickless crap" She goes a little insane, hitting him over and over. "How the fuck could you do that, you sonofabitch !" She keeps hitting him, back, head gut anywhere she can get to . He falls to the floor, unconscious. She starts to jump on him, but Tina grabs her, pulling her back.

"Faith, Faith!" She cries, pinning Faith's arms to her side. "He's out, stop! You're gonna kill him!"

"Let me GO!" Faith yells, trying to shake Tina off. "Fuck, I wanna kill the bastard. He deserves to fucking die!"

" FAITH!" Tina slams Faith against the wall. She hauls back, and slaps her, hard. " STOP IT! I'm not gonna let you kill him! Idiot, aren't things bad enough! COOL DOWN!" She presses against Faith, pinning her to the wall. "Just cool down, baby. Killing him won't help."

Faith, overwrought, all the pain she's stored up breaking loose, shoves Tina back, and goes for Jack. Right now he's the closest target, the focus for her anger. She jumps on him, starting to swing away.

Tina, knowing Faith will go too far, goes over, and kicks Faith in the head, knocking her out. She gently hauls her over to the corner, propping her up. " Sorry baby," She murmurs to the unconscious girl, " but you just get too crazy fucked up sometimes."

She walks over, and grabbing the unconscious man, drags him out of the booth.

Jack Bremer comes to suddenly, jerking awake. He tries to sit up, but someone's kneeling on his chest.

It's Tina. She's holding a 9mm Glock pistol to his head. He starts to sweat again.

" Don't move, don't even breathe heavy, got it scum boy?" Tina stares at him.

" I got it," He growls.

"Listen real good, cuz I'm saying this once, then I'll just fucking do it. Here's the deal. I'm gonna let you walk outta this alley alive. YOU aren't gonna do nothing to Faith. Got it?" She pokes the gun against his head. "I'm not hearing you. You got that, Jackie boy?"

"Yeah, I got it," He mutters. "Can I get up now?"

"We're not done yet, Jack," Tina says. "I don't wanna see you around here no more. Every time I see you, I get an ulcer. Cuz you're bad news, pal. So, do us both a favor. Stay the fuck away." She puts the barrel of the pistol under his chin. "Am I clear? Do you have any questions?" She jabs him with the barrel of the gun.

"I get it, I get it, ok?" Jack says, staring balefully at her.

She gets off his chest, all the while pointing the pistol at him.

"Get up, slowly," She orders, watching him. "Don't move fast, cuz I'm kinda itchy, and I might just kill you here and now."

Jack gets up, watching her like a bird watches a snake. He brushes himself off.

"Get going," Tina says, "Sooner I see your back, better I like it."

"I don't get it," Jack says, straightening out his cheap suit. "I get her getting so fucking upset. But you know it's just business. It's not personal. Just doing a job," he gives her a sidelong look. " What's your deal? She's just one of your sluts. Why're you getting involved? Why do you even care?"

"Maybe cuz you just make me sick, asshole," Tina snarls at him. "You're bad news. Fucking with my girls? Bad for business. So, get the fuck out."

Jack smiles enigmatically.

" Yeah. Business. Got it," He says. He turns, and starts down the alley. He stops halfway down, and turns back. " Can't figure it. She's really crazy about that old broad, huh? Who'd guess it?"

Laughing, he walks away.

Tina watches him until he turns a corner and disappears. She then slips the Glock into her waistband, and heads for her shop.

_Yeah, who'd figure it? _

8

Joyce leans against the wall of the warehouse, looking around at the freight that still needs to be opened, sorted, catalogued and stored away.

_I'm never going to finish it tonight,_ she sighs, looking around. _I should've had Taylor stay and help out. _She smiles. _But her beau was here, and the poor girl's got a life. Oh, well, not like I have anything else to do…_

Joyce recalls the frantic phone call she received hours ago from Taylor. She was at home, in the middle of dinner with her girls.

Maybe more accurately, in the middle of another argument with Buffy.

"Mom, c'mon, you promised!" Buffy says, frowning. "What the big deal? It's not a date. Just going to meet a couple of friends at the Bronze …"

"Did you finish your homework, Buffy?" Joyce asks, "you're not repeating last years grades, young lady. You're a senior now, you've got to think about college…"

"Oh for goodness sakes. I'm not gonna blow off homework, just delay it. It's only for a couple of hours," Buffy says.

"It's a school night, Buffy. When you're homework's done, we'll see…"

"It's not fair! Dawn gets to go!" Buffy complains, "I'm older than she is. I should be allowed to go too!"

"Dawn finished her schoolwork. You haven't. See the difference here?" Joyce says, growing a little irritated. "If you want me to treat you like an adult, Buffy, you've got to act like one. Meaning, you take care of your responsibilities, first."

"This is bogus!" Buffy exclaims, rising from the table. "You can't do this to me, I'm an adult."

"Sit down, Buffy, and finish your dinner," Joyce says, her temper on the edge. "You're acting like a child."

"Not hungry," Buffy says, "going up to my room. To do my homework," She adds, slightly sarcastically.

"Buffy, we don't just run out on meals around…" Joyce is interrupted by the phone. She gets up to answer it. "Sit down, Buffy. We're not done here."

Joyce exits into the kitchen.

Buffy notices Dawn staring at her.

"What?" She says, a little angrily.

"Do you have to do that? At every meal? I swear Buffy, I'd like to get through one dinner without a fight. Why can't you try to be less… " Dawn trails off.

"Less what, Dawn?" Buffy glares at her.

"Of a brat, Buff. Geeze, you had all afternoon to finish your homework."

"Had other things to do. I'll get it done, _mom,_" Buffy frowns at her. "Geeze, isn't one stick in the mud around here enough?"

"Buffy, mom's right. You could've finished your homework by now…"

"God, you always take her side, Dawn. You're such a suck up."

"Yeah, and you're such a fu… mom!" Dawn sees Joyce come in, looking worried. "What's up?"

"Oh, that was Taylor from the gallery? We got a large estate shipment in, and they need me down there to help unpack it. I'm going to have to go." She picks up her half eaten meal and heads towards the kitchen.

"Mom! What about the Bronze?" Buffy isn't going to give up on this.

"Sit down and finish dinner, Buffy. Then upstairs and finish you're homework. IF you get done and still have time, you can go… but no Bronze until you're done. Understand?"

" That's not fair!" Buffy exclaims.

" Buffy, I don't have time for this. No homework, no Bronze? Got it?"

"All right, ok, I got it," Buffy sits down, frowning.

Joyce takes her dishes into the kitchen, and Buffy breaks out in a sly smile.

" What?" Dawn is suspicious.

"Goin' to the Bronze." Buffy grins.

"You heard mom…"

"Yeah, I did. How's she gonna know? She's gonna be out…"

"I'll tell her…"

"Sure, Dawn, you do that. And I'll tell her about that lipstick you swiped from the mall the other day. Wonder how she'll like that one?" Buffy looks at her sister, grinning.

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me!"

"Fine, Buffy. Whatever. Flunk out, do whatever you wanna do."

"That's the plan, Dawnie," Buffy smiles. She's calmly finishing her dinner when Joyce returns.

"I'm probably going to be gone for awhile, girls. Are you going to be ok?"

"Mom, I'm almost 18, and Dawn's 16. I think we'll be ok alone for awhile." Her sarcastic tone is obvious.

Joyce bites back a response, just letting it go.

"If you need me, I'll be at the Gallery. The number's on the pad by the phone. Or call my cell." She walks to the front closet to retrieve her coat. "I'll try not to be too late."

"We'll be fine, mom," Buffy says in a world weary 'when will she leave' tone.

"Mom…" Dawn gets up, ready to bust Buffy.

"Dawnie," Buffy grabs her hand. When Dawn turns towards her, she licks her lips. " Don't."

"Dawn? Did you want something?" Joyce asks, coming back into the dining room.

" No, mom. Just drive safe, ok?"

"Sure honey," Joyce looks at her daughters . She gets a feeling something's going on. " everything ok between you two?"

"Just peachy, with a side of keen," Buffy says, brightly. "Right, Dawnie?"

"Yeah, just fine mom," Dawn goes along with it.

"Ok," Joyce says, not at all mollified. _Something's going on here._ "I'll try not to be too late."

"Bye, mom," Buffy says. _Don't take all night to leave mom!_

"Bye, mom," Dawn echoes.

Joyce walks to the front door, and opens it on Xander , whose hand is mid-air in a knock, and Willow, who looks somewhat flustered and surprised.

"Hello, can I help you?" Joyce asks, a little surprised.

"Uhhh… Hi, I'm Xander…" Xander says.

"And I'm Willow," Willow adds, "We're …"

"I'm going to make a wild leap here, and figure you're here to see Buffy and Dawn?" Joyce asks.

"Yes!" Willow says, looking a little relieved. " We're here to see Buffy and Dawn."

"Well, they're just finishing dinner. Did you want to come in?"

"Oh," Xander says, "We didn't know. We're ok here." He stands still, blocking the doorway.

"We can wait," Willow agrees, not moving.

"Uh, well. You see, I have to leave, so… someone's got to move," Joyce smiles. She backs up, waving her arm. "Come in, you can wait in the living room."

Willow and Xander enter, and walk into the living room. They stand looking at Joyce.

"Sit, it's ok. The furniture won't bite," Joyce can't help it, she chuckles. "I'll tell the girls you're here."

Joyce walks into the dining room, where Buffy and Dawn are staring at each other. Neither looks happy.

"You have company. A Xander and a Willow. They're waiting in the living room for you, when you're done," She looks at the girls, noting the tension. "Is everything ok in here?"

"Yeah, fine mom," Buffy says, giving Dawn a look.

"Sure mom, just fine," Dawn returns the look.

"Yes, well…" figuring it's better she doesn't know what's going on. _I'll hear it soon enough, I'm sure._" Finish up, and you're both on dish duty tonight, so clean up the kitchen, please? And Buffy?

"Yeah, mom?" Buffy turns to Joyce.

"I want that homework done before you leave tonight."

Dawn grins brightly, and Buffy's face darkens just a little.

"Aw mom," then she thinks better of it, and smiles. "Ok, mom, no prob."

"Goodnight, girls." Joyce says, leaving before anything else happens.

She walks back to the living room, where Willow and Xander have taken a seat.

"They'll be done in a few minutes." She smiles.

"Thanks Mrs. Summers." Willow says, smiling.

"Goodnight," Joyce walks out of the room, and leaves by the front door.

_I better remember to call later, to check up on Buffy. Make sure she finished her schoolwork. She gave in way too easy…_

_Joyce! Don't be such a mom! She's almost an adult._

_Yes, now, it'd be nice if she'd start acting like one._

Sighing, she enters her car, and after starting it up, pulls it out of the driveway.

Joyce looks at the loading dock behind the gallery, and sighs.

Crates and boxes have been dumped unceremoniously onto the platform. The truck that brought them is long gone.

"I'm sorry, Joyce, I didn't want to call you, but I didn't know what else to do," Taylor, Joyce's assistant, says. "They came into the shop while I was busy with a client, handed me a form to sign. It wasn't until later I found this…" Taylor sweeps her arms around to indicate the pile on the loading dock. " Tom had already left for the day. I… just couldn't get it all in by myself." Taylor looks flustered and apologetic. " I really didn't want to call you at home…"

"It's ok, Taylor," Joyce puts her arm on younger woman's shoulder. "You did the right thing, calling me." She sighs. "Well, I guess we'll just have to get the hand truck and get it in best we can…" She looks at the load of artwork and shakes her head. "I can't believe they didn't offer to help. Well, last time we use that delivery service."

"I'm really sorry. Really. I couldn't leave the customer, she seemed interested in the 18th Century panel, and I know you've been looking for a buyer… and I though Tom was back here supervising this…" her face falls. " this is such a mess…"

"Taylor, it's fine. We'll get it. Stop worrying about it," Joyce smiles.

Joyce is fond of her assistant, but sometimes the girl just gets too wound up over little things. _Not a tragedy, dear, really. _Joyce thinks, looking around. _At least it'll keep me busy for awhile. Better than hanging around the house._

Taylor Rourke is a third year art student at UC Sunnydale, majoring in Art History, and came highly recommended from the University and her last employer.

Joyce had been struck with her physical resemblance to Faith. She had the same basic build, the same long, dark wavy hair, and dark eyes. At times, Joyce almost called her Faith, she looked so much like her. _Is that why I hired her? Because of the resemblance? No, that's stupid. She's well qualified for the job._ Still, the resemblance was a little eerie.

Joyce was happy with the young girl most of the time, but unlike Faith, she was very shy and retiring. Not a real go getter, and sometimes, she panicked a little too easily. Still, she was efficient, hard working and eager to learn, so Joyce had no real complaints about her.

Joyce walks over to a covered box by the bay doors of the loading dock, and unlocking it, presses a button. The loading dock door slowly rolls up its track to reveal the back room of the gallery. She walks in as the door rises, switching on the lights.

" Taylor? IF you could start arranging the stuff into loads for the hand truck, that would be very helpful," Joyce calls out, disappearing into the large, cavernous space.

"Ok, Joyce," Taylor replies, starting towards the pile. "Oh, by the way, Billy will be here in 30 minutes to pick me up. Maybe we can put him to work." She starts stacking some boxes in a separate pile.

Joyce reappears, pushing the hand truck in front of her.

"Another date with Billy?" Joyce smiles, approaching Taylor. "Hmmm. Is this getting serious?"

Taylor blushes. "I dunno, he's kinda nice…" She moves some more boxes into the pile.

" Kind of nice, eh?" Joyce teases her a little. " Seems you're all smiles and blushes when he shows up." Joyce starts loading up the hand truck. "and the fact that he's a major hottie? I'm sure that doesn't hurt, either!"

"Joyce, please!" Taylor blushes a deeper shade of red. Then she smiles a little shyly. "He is kinda hot, isn't he?"

"Oh, yes," Joyce smiles. "Back in the stone age, when I was dating, we'd call him dreamy."

Taylor giggles, leaning against a box. "My mom uses that expression, too." She smiles. "She thinks he's nice."

"Well, there you go, two seasoned opinions. Billy does seem like a nice boy, " Joyce's smile fades just a little. "Still, you're young yet, Taylor. Don't get tooo serious, yet. Lots of fish in the sea."

" Oh, don't worry. I'm so not thinking of like anything serious. I haven't even graduated yet, and I still want a career."

"Good thinking, Taylor. Plenty of time for family and kids." Joyce nods, taking the first load back towards the warehouse. "Do a little living first."

" Oh, I plan on it," Taylor affirms, as she moves to get another box.

Joyce wheels the truck into the warehouse, and puts the load in the corner. She stands there a second, watching as her assistant sorts the freight.

_I planned on a career, too, and well, we know how that worked out. Just hope you're smarter than I was, dear._

Joyce turns and goes to pick up the next load.

Ninety minutes later, they're done. With the help of Taylor's boyfriend, they managed to get all the crates and boxes into the back room of the gallery. The three of them stand around, looking at their accomplishment.

"Thanks for your help, Billy," Joyce says, looking at some of the larger crates. "I wasn't sure how we were going to get those moved."

"Not a prob, Mrs. Summers," Billy says, grinning." Glad I could help out."

" We'll, can I get you two something to drink? You sure earned it." She says, looking at the piles stacked along the walls.

"Actually, Mrs. Summers, we've got to motor. We're already late to the party …" Billy says.

"Billy, I can't leave now," Taylor says, looking around, "I've got to help Joyce get this stuff unpacked and catalogued." She sounds a little disappointed.

"Don't be silly, Taylor. Go to your party. I can handle it from here."

" I can't leave you with all this. It'll take all night by yourself."

"Don't worry, Taylor. Not planning on finishing it tonight. I'll just check things off, and we'll work more on it tomorrow, ok? Don't miss your party."

"You're sure?" Taylor asks. More out of politeness than anything. She's been looking forward to this party.

"It's covered. Now get outta here," Joyce waves her off. "All work and no play, really is boring , you know?" Joyce laughs.

"Ok, thanks, Joyce. I'll see you tomorrow, bright and early."

" Not too early. I might be a little late."

" Ok, well goodnight." Taylor says, walking towards the exit.

" Goodnight, Mrs. Summers. Nice meeting you," Billy follows her out.

" Goodnight!" She calls after them.

A few hours later finds Joyce still at it, uncrating various pieces and checking them against the manifest. She stops for a moment, and looks around.

"I'm never going to get this done tonight," Joyce sighs, looking around.

The strain of moving the freight is telling on her; she has aches where she didn't know she had places to ache. Still, she was very devoted to the gallery, and wanted to get a good start on this, at least.

_Not like I have that much going on at home. I'll just work another hour or two, then call it quits._

She's just starting to open another crate when the phone rings.

"Damn? Who could that be at this time of night?" She's tempted to let the machine get it. _What if it's one of the kids? What if they need help or something?_ She runs to the front, trying to catch the phone.

"SunCoast Gallery, Joyce speaking…" Joyce says into the phone. "Hello? Yes, this is SunCoast Gallery. Yes, I'm sure… No, this _ISN'T _Frantone's Pizzeria. No, you dialed wrong. You dialed 555-8765 and you want to dial 555-8675. Yes, I'm very certain. Yes, try that number. Yes…I'm absolutely sure this isn't Frantone's. Yes. No problem. Goodnight."

Joyce hangs up the phone and sighs. _Kids. I swear, sometimes, they just don't listen. Probably some party, anyway… sounded a little drunk. Why aren't their parents…oh, stop, Joyce!_

She walks back into the back, chuckling to herself, and stops dead. The lights are out.

The entry door to the back room is open. _I swear I closed that. I know I did!_ She feels a chill go down her spine. _Damn, I must've forgotten to lock the door._ She looks around, but it's hard to see much with the only light source coming from the open door. _Flashlight! In the office. Yes, get that. Wait, better. Phone in the office. Go there, call the police…_

Joyce starts to back away quietly, hoping to make the phone and call the police before whoever came in sees her. But she bumps into a statue, causing it to teeter over. She catches it before it falls, but not before it makes enough noise to signal her presence.

_Good, Joyce! Really good. Why don't you just send up a flare to let the burglar know you're here!_

Joyce crouches down, looking for something to defend herself with. All she finds is a scrap piece of wood. _Oh, yeah, this'll do it. Yeah, I can just bat those bullets away when they start firing._

She hears a noise; she slowly raises up to take a look.

In the dim light, she can barely make out a dark figure. With a flashlight. _Swell, they have a flashlight. Neat. Now I can be spotted real nice… this is sooo bad. Bad, very bad._

She crouches down, hoping to hide. _Maybe they'll get whatever they want, and leave. I've got insurance. It's for things like this, right?_ Except the new shipment. It's not insured yet. Can't be insured until a valuation is put on it. _Damn it! I can't afford to lose anything from that. I'll… shoot. Ok. Try to scare them off. Maybe I can bluff my way out of this._

" You better get outta here! I've called the police, and they're on their way. And I'm armed!"

The figure swings around, the light arcing towards the sound of Joyce's voice. Joyce is blinded by the sudden light, and feels her heart start to thump in her chest. _Great move Joyce. Now you're a target._

"Go on, get out of here before I hurt you!" Joyce calls out, sounding a lot more confident than she feels. "I'll hurt you if I have to."

"A little late for that, don't ya think, Joyce?" The figure raises an arm, and Joyce ducks, afraid she's going to be shot.

_That voice! No, it can't be. It has to be a mistake._ Yet, Joyce feels herself start to shake, and her breath catch in her throat. _I… it's muffled. Maybe I… I just got it wrong._

The beam to the flashlight sweeps over her head, and Joyce scrunches down further, trying to hide.

"Joyce? Joyce! Where'd ya go? Shit, not gonna hurt you," The figure removes the helmet, looking around. "Shit, I'd never hurt you. Don't ya know that?" The figure shines the flashlight around the space." Where the fuck are the lights, anyway?"

_Oh god, oh god, oh god._

" F-Faith?" Joyce carefully puts up her head. Immediately the light swings around to her. "I-Is that y-you?"

The flashlight points at the bearer, revealing Faith. She's got that smart ass smirk on her face.

"Good one, Joyce. Nice you got that finally before you blew my head off." Faith looks in Joyce's direction. "So, where the hell are the lights, Joyce? I mean, kinda bad leaving the place open in the dark here, ya know?"

Joyce stands in the warehouse, stunned. _This isn't possible. I'm hallucinating. I fell and hit my head and this is some kind of dream or something. I don't remember falling… but I must've. _

"Joyce? You ever gonna say shit?" Faith swings the beam over where Joyce last was. "I mean, do you always just clam up when you see an old friend."

"How? I mean… why? Oh god, what's going on? Why're you here? I d-don't get it…"

"Does it really matter, Joyce?" Faith says, with a slightly distant tone. "The point is, I'm here."

"You can't be here… you gotta go…" Joyce stands very, very still. As if she doesn't move, none of this will be real. "You can't just show up here. How'd you find me? I … "

"Joyce, can we talk where there's a little more light? I don't know about you, but all the dark here is kinda creeping me out."

"You didn't turn out the lights?" Joyce still feels like she's frozen in place. _Well, of course not, stupid. She just said she was being creeped out by the dark. Why would she cut the lights? Oh, shut UP!_

"No… I just found it like this… I tried the front, but it was locked. So, I came around back… and I saw the door open and the lights… oh…" She suddenly drops on the floor, and crawls over to where Joyce is. " Do you think someone else is in here?" She whispers.

"I don't know," Joyce doesn't bother lowering her voice, "but if so, pretty much they already know we're here…"

There's a sudden crashing sound, followed by the sound of footsteps running. Joyce looks up in time to see a figure darting out the door. Faith is already on her feet, following the intruder out.

"Faith, no! Wait, stop! They might be armed!" Joyce calls out after her.

Faith is already out the door when Joyce gets there. Feeling cautious, she peers around the door carefully, to see Faith standing, hands on hips, looking down the alleyway. Faith shakes her head, and turns around. Seeing Joyce, she shrugs and walks back inside the warehouse.

Joyce feels for the light switches, and finding them off, turns them on. The warehouse fills with light. She closes and locks the access door. Then, angry, she turns on Faith.

"ARE you INSANE?" Joyce yells at her, going over and getting in Faith's face. "He might have been armed. He could've killed you. WERE you even thinking! God!" Joyce, frustrated, hits her arm. "Are you TRYING to get killed?"

"Geeze, Joyce, chill," Faith rubs her arm. "God, didn't know you cared." She frowns. "You hit hard for a girl."

"OF COURSE I CARE !" Joyce yells at her, "do you think I want to see you DEAD?" She starts shaking again. "Goddamn you, can't you think once in awhile rather than just jump in the fucking fire?" She starts shaking more violently.

"Joyce? Joyce!" Faith instinctively takes the shaking woman in her arms. "I'm ok, it's ok. Shhh." She starts rubbing her back.

"God, if anything happened to you…" Joyce trails off, burying her head in Faith's shoulder.

"Joyce?" Faith says softly. Joyce looks up into her eyes.

It's as if the intervening months never happened. All the bitterness, the pain, the hurt fell away, and they started kissing each other as if they'd only been separated for an hour.

"Oh, god I missed you so much," Joyce says, as she rains soft kisses all over Faith's face. "I love you so much. I'm so, so sorry I hurt you so badly." She continues to kiss her, finally finding her lips, and sharing a deep, passionate kiss. Their hands seem to have a mind of their own as they begin to caress and stroke each other wantonly.

"I know what happened, Joyce," Faith murmurs, her lips seeking Joyce's neck, "I know what that creep did to you…" her hands come up, starting to unbutton Joyce's blouse. "God, I need you…need to touch you…" .

Joyce, in her pent up need, seems to have lost any shyness she ever felt with Faith. Her hands seek out her top, doing her best to remove it as they continue to kiss and fondle each other.

"No… no, not here… in my office," Joyce sighs lustily, as Faith begins to fondle her breasts through her brassiere. 'I have a cot in there… I sometimes … sleep here when I… work…oooohhh…" Joyce moans as Faith's lips cover her bra cup, sucking on her nipple through it. " Oh, god oh God, Faith I love you sooo much" Joyce whines in need and passion. "I was… so stupid …."

Somehow, they stumble step back towards Joyce's office, mouth's locked together, hands working on buttons and stays and hooks. They shed their clothes along the way; by the time they reach the office they are down to their underwear. For a moment they get lost in each other, rubbing almost lewdly against each other as they share yet another passionate kiss.

Joyce finally, reluctantly breaks away and goes to the sofa along the left wall of her office. She reaches under the cushions, and pulls a leaver, then pulls the hide a bed out from the sofa. She's just getting it set down when she feels a pair of arms encircle her, pulling her up. She leans back into Faith, who is kissing her neck while running her hands over her breasts and tummy. She can feel Faith's hard nipples in her back; her own are so tight and erect in her bra that they are chafing on the lace, sending hot fires directly to her already damp pussy.

"I need you naked, now," Faith breathes in her ear, starting to tug at her panties. " I need to touch you all over, Joy. I need you sooo badly." She starts to hump her pelvis into Joyce's butt, flaming Joyce's own hot fires.

Joyce breaks away to remove her underwear, and turning around, sees Faith is already naked. Her heart almost stops in her chest. _God, I almost forgot how beautiful she is,_ Joyce thinks, feeling herself start to get even wetter between her thighs. Before she even realizes it, she's in Faith's arms again, hands caressing over the smooth, taut skin of her lover. Their mouths meet in a fiery kiss, and their tongues fight to be in each other's mouths. Faith thinks the world is tilting sideways, but it's only the two of them, clinging to each other, falling onto the fold out bed.

Faith rolls Joyce over on her back, and straddling her, leans over and kisses her. Her hands begin to play with Joyce's breasts, eliciting happy soft moans and sighs from the older woman.

Faith breaks the kiss, and begins covering Joyce's upper body with warm, wet kisses. Joyce feels her entire body flush, Faith's soft full lips driving her into a sexual frenzy. Seeing Faith's full breasts bobbing teasingly before her, she reaches up, cupping each with a hand, rubbing her thumbs over the erect nibbles. Faith moans her pleasure.

"God, Joyce, you're a lot more bold than last time, " Faith stops for a moment, enjoying Joyce's manipulations of her breasts. When Joyce pinches her nipples, she cries out in joy. "I gotta say, loving the change."

"I've thought so much about that time we had together, Faith. I couldn't think of anything else. Lot's of sleepless nights, missing you. God, I'd…" she blushes, trailing off.

"What baby?" Faith says, getting in the game, starting to rub and caress Joyce's breasts.

"I used to finger myself, thinking about you," Joyce says in low , soft voice. Almost a whisper.

"Oh, god," Faith moans. The idea of Joyce fingering herself to orgasm, thinking about her shoots major tingles straight to her vulva. She feels herself spasm, and her pussy becomes even more soaked. Unconsciously, she begins to rub herself against Joyce's tummy. She leans over, and kisses Joyce hotly, sticking her tongue deep into Joyce's eager, willing mouth.

"You won't have to do that no more, baby," Faith says, sliding herself down Joyce until her hips are between Joyce's thighs. "I promise you, baby." Reaching down between them, she gently pulls Joyce's lips apart and then pushes her self against Joyce. She slowly starts to rub her body against Joyce's, pushing against her as tightly as she can.

"Honey?" Joyce is a little puzzled. " What're you doing?"

" Shhh… trust me…" Faith pants. She wraps her hands around Joyce, trying to push herself tighter against Joyce.

It's not too long before it becomes clear that not only does Faith know what she's doing, but it's extremely fantastic. Joyce feels a strong tingle at first in her pussy, then it begins to build as she feels a fantastic feeling rushing throughout her entire body. The soft swishy feel of their skin rubbing together, combined with the squishing sounds made by their mounds rubbing and bumping add to Joyce's excitement. Slowly, she feels her orgasm building in her, her entire insides feeling as if they're winding up tighter and tighter. She wraps her legs around Faith, pulling her tighter and closer. Her hands rub over Faith's back and buttocks, and their lips meet in a warm, sustained kiss.

"Oh god, oh god Faith…baby this is so… oh god, I love this sooo much," Joyce pants, her breathing becoming shallower, more ragged. "I love you so… sooo much baby yes…. Oh god rub harder baby…please…god it's.. ohhhh… Ohhhh baby I'm gonna.. Oh … AHHH…Bababeeee…."

Even as her words turn to moans, she hears Faith's moans in answer, and this excites her even more, knowing she's as excited and close as she is. Their moans rise in pitch and volume as they're bodies rub faster and faster together, the pelvises pounding like pistons against each other. The friction, the sheer pleasure they're getting from one another is driving each higher and higher, their orgasms building to a fever pitch. Locked together, they're soon bouncing off the sofa bed, their pent up sexual energy being released as their voices raises to screams.

Almost simultaneously they come to a mind shattering orgasm, their bodies arching against each other, their hips still rolling and pounding together. They don't relent, either one, as the waves of their mutual pleasure crest over them. Slowly, slowly they stop humping each other, and fall back on the bed, breathing hard. They're wrapped in each other's arms and legs, and they kiss deeply, extending the moment.

Joyce, overwhelmed by emotion, starts to cry. Faith cuddles her, caressing her and soothing her.

"God, Faith…" Joyce says, nuzzling against Faith's chest, "I need you so much. I never realized how… awful things were… without you…god, I love you so, so much." She kisses Faith heatedly, rubbing her hands all over her lover's soft body. "I was such a bitch to you, but when I saw you here, tonight, I knew, I just knew somehow, I have to … we can't… I can't…" She starts crying again.

"Shhh… Joy, Joy baby…" Faith holds her tenderly against her breast, stroking her hair. "It's ok, baby, I'm here. Not going anywhere."

"Really?" Joyce looks up at her, love shining in her eyes." You mean it? You won't leave me? Even after how I treated you? Oh god, Faith, I'm so sorry I hurt you. I know I did, I saw it in your eyes. But Hank… he was gonna…"

"I know, Joyce. I found out. All about it," She cuddles Joyce. "It doesn't matter now. All I know is I love you, Joyce. I need you. I need you in my life. My life is shit, pure shit, without you."

Joyce draws Faith closer, and they begin to kiss passionately.

They spent the next couple of hours making love. After the first time, it was gentler, taken at a more leisurely pace. They explored each other, found out what each other liked and didn't like. Along with the moans and groans and sighs, there was laughter, and giggling. They enjoyed being with each other, just holding each other.

Joyce finally had Faith on her back, and was kissing and licking her way down Faith's body. Faith stopped Joyce when she got to her belly, and drew her up.

"Joyce, you don't have to do that. I know that…it might be a little squicky for you. That you didn't want to do it with Hank. So, if it's too… well, I don't want you to feel you have to do it."

" I want to, Faith," Joyce pulls away, kissing her way down Faith. "It's not like with Hank. He kind of demanded it, expecting I'd do it. I want to do it… because…I love you, and want to please you."

Joyce moves down between Faith's thighs, and laying little kisses on them, approached her fuzz covered vulva. She reached out, and gently caressed the puffy lips around her slit. Faith sighs deeply, and looks down at Joyce.

"That's nice, honey. Really, if you do that, it'll be just fine," She said softly.

But Joyce is determined. Moving closer, she notices the drops of moisture caught in Faith's pubic hair, and she gently licks it, getting a little hair in her mouth. She spit it out, and laughed.

" I don't think that was right," She giggles. She moves in, and gently licks along Faith's slit. That elicits a sigh from Faith. A big, deep, happy sigh.

Encouraged, she gently parts Faith's lips, looking at the moist pink inner lips. She slipped her tongue inside, and began licking her gently.

" Oh… yes… ok, that's.. .very, very nice…mmm…hmmm."

Faith notices that skill wise, Joyce was rather awkward and sometimes a little rough. Still, her enthusiasm made up for the little glitches, and Faith is touched by the little soft whimpers and gurgling noises she made while licking her. Then she found Faith's clit, and began licking and sucking on it. Faith just sits back, and lets the waves of pleasure roll over her, until the big one hit, drowning her in the biggest orgasm she could remember having.

She lay there, panting and exhausted, as Joyce climbed up her body, cuddling next to her. They kissed, and for a little while, just held each other. Finally, Joyce looked at the clock, and sighs.

"I've got to get home," She pouts, not wanting to leave. Not wanting this to end.

"I know," Faith says softly. "I know."

"You're not going to leave, are you? You'll stay? You promised, right? You're not going back on that?"

"I'm staying, Joyce," Faith says simply. "I love you. I really can't live without you. Kinda corny, huh? But I mean it; everything is just crappy without you." Faith sighs, getting up. "I guess we better get dressed…"

"Yeah," Joyce echoes, sitting up. _I don't want her to go. I don't wanna go. Why do we have to do this?_ She sees the pictures of Buffy and Dawn on her desk, and knows. _God, I hate this. I hate sneaking around! It's not fair, it's just not fair._

15 minutes later both women are dressed, standing by the access door to the warehouse. They sit there, kissing, not wanting to part. Finally, Faith hands Joyce a piece of paper.

"That's the name and address of the motel I'm staying at. I'm going to check into local junior colleges, see if I can get accepted."

"You really mean it, don't you? You're going to stay!" Joyce smiles broadly.

"Oh yeah, I'm here, you're stuck with me," Faith teases. "Whatever it takes, Joyce, I want to be with you."

Joyce makes a happy whimper, and they kiss again. It's a long, warm kiss. Finally they break it off.

"I better go. If I don't, I don't think you'll be getting home til morning. That might be a little hinky to explain," Faith says. She squeezes Joyce's hand, and then exits out the back way.

Joyce walks out, and watches as Faith starts up her bike, and roars off down the alley. Turning, there's a soft, natural smile on her face. Locking the door, she heads for her car, still smiling.

She's the happiest she's been in a very long time.

She finally has a little bit of hope.

To be continued.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: See previous chapters

A change of seasons, Chapter 8

1

"This is ridiculous!"

Joyce Summers drives into the driveway of the Revello Drive House in the Mom Mobile, her daughters' not always affectionate term for the SUV which transports the family to various destinations. She sits in the driver's seat, staring out of the windshield, hands tapping on the steering wheel to a tune only she can hear. She has a smile, a large smile, plastered on her face.

"Stop grinning like a moron, Joyce. It was just sex… right?" She starts to giggle, realizing it was so much more than sex. It was as if the world came alive again; as if her lungs started breathing again, as if her eyes could see color again. Everything seemed so alive, so real, and so … just so… so tasty. She feels light and … _Yes, Joyce, you feel happy. Something you haven't felt in an awful long time. Happy. HAPPY!_

She starts having a major giggle attack, sitting back in the seat, laughing helplessly. It's as if years of emotions are being uncorked in that minute, and she's helpless do anything but sit there and laugh crazily.

She laughs so hard and for so long that her sides hurt, and she gets a stitch in her side. Finally, the laughter starts to subside, and she sits there, eyes wet, shaking her head.

"Get a grip, girl. Geeze, you're going insane," She scolds herself, "It's not like the second coming…" The word starts her laughing again, holding her sides, trying to bring herself under control. But it's hopeless, and she gives into the pure silliness, sitting there laughing uncontrollably for a few minutes.

_God, Joyce, go inside and go to bed. You're still shell shocked from tonight. That huge art delivery coming in, being scared to death that someone was going to rob you… and Faith. Oh, god! Faith just showing up… and then the everything else. No wonder you're going crazy. Too much… just too much._

Joyce opens the doors, swinging her legs out and standing… then leaning against the SUV when she feels dizzy. _God, you're so in trouble Joyce. Your acting like you're drunk! Just straighten up and go inside, check on the girls and go to bed. God!_

Joyce negotiates her way to the front door, feeling a little woozy and wobbly and definitely out of control. More, it's as if her feet aren't even touching the ground, she feels so light; almost as if she's floating along rather than walking. _You're drunk, Joyce! Drunk without even drinking. This girl is so you're favorite drug! _She stops for a moment, feeling a little down. _I just wish we could stay together all the time! I want her , want to be with her. I need her! Face it Joyce, she makes it all real, all good for you. _Joyce straightens up. _Stop being a greedy guts Joyce. There's gonna be plenty more times. Mmmm… can hardly wait! Yummy. _She hugs herself.

Sighing, she walks to the door, fishing in her purse for her house key. _Get it together girl. You're home now. Time to be mom. God, how could I explain being like a giddy teenager to the kids? They'd so be suspicious. Ok, hon, take a moment here…_

She lets herself in the front door, quietly closing it behind her. She stands in the foyer for a moment, gather her thoughts. Her mind is a little wooly; thoughts of Faith, of what happened tonight have driven pretty much everything else out. _Time to come to earth, Joyce. You've got a life and responsibilities here. _

She starts towards the stairs, and actually gets her foot on the first riser when a voice comes out of the darkness.

"Oh, so you finally decided to come home?"

Joyce freezes, and turns towards the living room.

" Buffy?"

2

A lamp goes on in the living room, and reveals Buffy, sitting there staring at her. She's frowning.

"Buffy? Why aren't you in bed? It's…" She looks at her watch. "It's very late, and it's a school night!"

"Where've you been? It's after midnight!"

"I told you, I was at the Gallery, honey. A large art shipment came in. Had to get it in and check it out."

"Well, isn't that funny? Cuz I called the Gallery and got no answer!"

"Really? Oh my, I haven't gotten the extension put in the warehouse yet," Joyce says apologetically, "I haven't had time. I must've rung and I just didn't hear it. Why didn't you try my cell?"

"I called your cell, too. All I got was your voice mail. I mean, I must've left like a million messages."

"That's strange!" Joyce starts digging through her purse. "My cell didn't ring at all." Finding her cell, she looks at it and blushes. "Oh honey, I forgot to turn it on. I'm so sorry…"

"Lotta good that would've done if something had been like in emergency mode here," Buffy, angry, gets up. "What do you care, anyway? I mean, you're always at the stupid Gallery…"

"Honey, I'm sorry," Joyce tries her best to keep things level and calm, "But I'm trying to make the Gallery work here in Sunnydale, and it's not easy, with everything going on, and your Father not here but on weekends…"

"Yeah, I wish _I_ was only here on weekends… better, I wish I wasn't here at all!"

"Honey, I know it's been difficult for you and Dawn, this move, but we needed to do this. After the incidents at the last school…"

"Oh sure, sure. Blame it on me, right? This is all my fault!" Buffy throws up her hands. "I lose my friends, I lose my status, we move to this one Starbucks backwater that doesn't _even_ have a decent mall in it, and it's all my fault, right?"

"I'm not saying that, Buffy," Joyce tries to hold onto her temper, "things weren't good in L.A., and your father and I decided it would be best …"

" To ruin my life, right?" Buffy snaps at her." God, this was my senior year, mom. I know you're like, old, but you gotta know senior year is special. I was supposed to _rule_ this year, it was supposed to be my year. Now I'm here in Sunnyhell, a new kid, and I'm some kind of geek. My friends now are GEEKS! This totally sucks."

" Willow and Xander…that's their names, right? They seemed nice…"

" Yeah, if you're like Dawn, who's a geek too. Geeze, I was in the popular crowd, mom. Now I'm nothing, and it's all your fault," Buffy comes to her, face flushed. " Got it? It's all your fault!"

"Buffy Anne Summers! That's enough!" Joyce snaps, angry now. "You made your bed, now you've got to lie in it! You started up with that bad crowd in L.A., and they expelled you! I couldn't get you in a decent school in L.A.! Got it, young lady? We moved here so you start over, all of us could start over, as a family, and you just have to learn to accept that…"

"Yeah, a family," Buffy sneers. "That's working out real well, too…" She starts for the stairs.

"What's that supposed to mean, young lady?"

"Nothing…" Buffy mutters. "I'm going to bed."

"No, young lady, you stay right there," Joyce puts a restraining arm on her daughter's. "What do you mean?"

Buffy whirls around. "Are you blind or what? What kind of 'family' do we got here? A missing mom who's NEVER home, a Dad who's only here on weekends…" She makes a disgusted noise. "Dawn and I might as well be orphans, for all we see of you and dad…"

"We have to work, honey. I have the gallery, and your dad works in L.A. Getting home every night isn't practical for him. We just have to…"

"I bet he'd be home if he had good reason to be…" Buffy mutters.

"What? I didn't hear that!"

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Buffy spits out, "I know why dad almost never comes home, even if you pretend you don't."

"Pretend… what's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, stop acting stupid, would you?" Buffy frowns at her." Stop treating me like a child! I know the score!"

"Is that so? What do you think you know?"

"Why is dad always taking all those business trips, mom? Sometimes, he doesn't even make it on weekends… he's gone for weeks. Why is that, Mom?"

"It's his job, Buffy. He has to do that."

"Yeah, sure he does…"

"Oh, you know everything do you, young lady?" Joyce challenges her. "C'mon, Ms. Summers, you're so smart. Tell me, what's the reason?"

" Well, _Joyce,_ maybe if you were a better wife, and not such a cold bitch, dad wouldn't have to whore around looking for some loving…"

SLAP!

Buffy backs off, wide eyed. She looks at her mother as if she's gone crazy.

"Oh, Buffy, honey…" Joyce goes to her daughter, who backs away. "I'm sorry, baby. But that was just … mean! I lost my temper, but I didn't mean to hurt you…" She tries to take Buffy into a hug.

"Get away from me!" Buffy yells at her. "You've ruined my life! You've taken everything that means anything to me, and brought me to this hellhole. Stay away from me! Do you get that? You make me SICK!"

"Buffy, you don't mean that!" She reaches out for Buffy.

SLAP!

It's Joyce's turn for wide eyes and silence, after Buffy slaps her.

"You hit me!" Joyce says, voice low and surprised. She rubs her cheek. "That's it, young lady. I've had enough of this. You're grounded!"

"I hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

Buffy, angry beyond words, shoves Joyce away hard, and runs up the stairs. Joyce, also angry, follows after her, but she hears Buffy's door slam.

Joyce starts to go to her room, and stops. She closes her eyes, her fists clenched at her sides. _Calm down, Joyce. Calm DOWN! She's just upset. She said those things to hurt you. She didn't mean it. I know, you know, she didn't mean them. Be a mom, and stop being a child!_

Joyce goes to Buffy's door, and knocks quietly.

"Buffy, honey, open up, please? We need to talk, baby."

"Go away. I don't wanna talk to you!" Buffy calls through the door.

"Buffy, please…" Joyce calls through the door.

Buffy doesn't answer. Joyce knocks again, and waits for awhile. When she gets no response, she sighs, and moves away.

_Nice work, Joyce! Good mother you turned out to be. Hitting your daughter. You should be so proud!_

She moves down the hall, towards her room. She stops when she reaches Dawn's room. Opening the door, she looks in.

Dawn is lying quietly on her bed, back towards her, cover pulled up to her neck. She appears to be asleep.

"Dawn, honey? Are you asleep?" Joyce calls out softly.

Dawn doesn't stir. Joyce quietly closes her door.

_Thank goodness we didn't wake her. Poor baby. It's probably rough on her too, all this. _She looks at her younger daughter, and her heart swells with love. _At least she seems to be taking everything ok. God, she's such a sweetheart. I wish Buffy were more like her sometimes._

Joyce walks to her room, upset. Her good mood, all the good feelings, has evaporated like a morning mist. She enters her room and softly closes the door behind her. Moving to her bed, she sits down, head in hands. She starts to cry.

_Where'd it all go so wrong? Buffy isn't like this. She's a good girl. She started acting crazy last year, but she's probably upset because of what was happening at home. I should've been more attentive, tried to make it easier for her._

_But it was all so horrible. The way Hank was flaunting his infidelities in front of me. God, I didn't even KNOW Buffy knew about Hank! God, she thinks I'm to blame! How can she think that? I tried, I really tried to be a good wife, and a good mom. I tried really hard! I did!_

_Is she right? Maybe I was a bad mom. Maybe I did drive Hank away. Maybe this is all my fault. If only I tried harder…_

_No! No! I won't take the blame. I really tried, I really worked to make this marriage work. It was Hank, cheating on me, that caused all this! Hank, who's starting it up all again. That bastard! That lying, cheating …_

_And what about you? And Faith? Oh, that's so different!_

_He cheated first!_

_Right, so two wrongs make a right, is that it?_

_Wrong? How can it be wrong with Faith and me? It's so … beautiful. So wonderful. I love her, and she loves me! It's not like Hank! Nothing like with Hank! I love her… I want her to be part of my life…_

_Yeah, and Buffy and Dawn? What're they going to think when mom turns out to be not only a cheating wife, but a big old lesbian to boot? Think they're going to go " La, la, la We've got two mommies?" Especially when one of the mommies is nearly their age? How sick is that?_

_IT'S NOT SICK! IT' BEAUTIFUL! WE LOVE EACH OTHER!_

_Uh-huh. That's just how they're going to see it. True love. Sure, and Hank and his latest skirt? True love, right?_

_Stop it! I'm not going to let you make it bad! Not again! I'm NOT giving her up again! She's wonderful, and I love her. It's right, righter than anything I've had. I'm going to make it happen, and it's going to be good. It's going to work._

_Ok, so it's all good. And you're not ashamed of it. Why not tell them? I mean, I'm sure they'll understand. Right on sister ! and all that, right?_

_I need to get them ready. It's not going to be easy…_

_It's not going to happen. Face it, Joyce, they're never going to accept it!_

_Shut up! Not listening. It's going to happen, and they're going to be ok with it, and you don't know anything!_

_Mature, Joyce. Really mature._

Joyce gets up, and pulling back the covers, slips into bed. She sighs, staring at the ceiling.

_I hate this… All of this. _

Dawn hears the door to her room click close, and she turns over. Her cheeks are wet with tears.

She's heard the whole fight, and her stomach is churning. She hates it when her mom and Buffy fight. Or her mom and dad. Or anyone, as a matter of fact.

_Why can't they just try to get along? Isn't bad enough with dad gone all the time? Does it all have to be fight night around here? Why can't Buffy just grow up and stop being a brat? And mom? Why can't she be home more? I almost never see her anymore. And Buffy makes it pretty plain she doesn't want me around, hanging out with her._

_Well, you know what? I'm not letting either of them ruin my life. Yeah, I'm not loving it here, being the new kid. But I've got Xander and Willow. I'll make it work. I'm so gonna make it work. Not gonna be a gloomy Gus like Buffy. I'm not!_

She hears her mother crying in the next room, and sighs.

_Nice work, Buffy. Now she's crying. Happy?_

She hears Buffy start to cry in her room.

_Oh man. C'mon, Buffy… don't cry… god…_

_I HATE this place._

Sighing, Dawn lays back down, pulling the covers over her head. She hopes just for a little while, it'll all go away.

Just for a little while.

3

"C'mon, girls. Hurry up, you'll be late for school!"

Joyce fusses around the kitchen, making lunches for the girls. She is just finishing up when Buffy appears in the dining room.

Buffy doesn't say a word, she just sits at the table, staring at it.

"Here's your lunch, honey. I'm sorry I didn't have time to make breakfast, I'm running a little late. You'll have to eat cereal." Joyce puts the bag and a bowl down by Buffy.

"Don't care. Not hungry." She knocks the bag away. "Don't want that crap."

"You're not getting any money for lunch, Buffy," Joyce says, feeling her shoulder muscles tense up. "That'll have to do."

"Don't want it," Buffy says. She stares ahead, not looking at Joyce.

"Buffy, do we have to do this? Can't we start out on a better note?"

Buffy just stares, not responding.

Dawn comes into the dining room, smiling. She walks over to Joyce.

"Morning mom," She leans in and kisses Joyce on the cheek. "What's for breakfast?"

"Sorry honey. I'm running a little late. You'll have to make do with cereal."

"That's cool. Is there any Cocoa Crunchies left?" She wanders into the kitchen. "They're all gone. Buffy! Did you pig out on the Cocoa Crunchies again?" She comes back, carrying a box of cereal.

"No, squirt. You finished them last week, remember?" She turns to Dawn. "Mom probably forgot to get them at the store." She turns to Joyce. "She's so busy with the gallery these days. I'm surprised she remembers to go to the store." Her voice is dripping acid.

Joyce doesn't say anything, just frowns at her daughter.

"It's no big," Dawn smiles, feeling the tension and trying to keep things light. "If you could just get some next time you go, mom?"

"Sure honey," Joyce says, "I'll try to remember. Of course, since someone is so much of an adult, it wouldn't hurt her to go to the store once in awhile …"

"Gee, mom, how can I?" Buffy smirks. "I'm grounded, remember?"

"You got grounded?" Dawn asks, "When did that happen?"

"Last night," Buffy says, "guess mom doesn't like me asking where she as until midnight last night…"

"That's enough, Buffy. I was working, and I told you that. And you know that wasn't why you were grounded." She smiles and looks at Buffy. "I was thinking of revoking it, but maybe we'll just let it stand."

"That's not fair!" Buffy explodes. "I didn't do anything to be grounded for!"

"You know what you did, Buffy," Joyce says, her voice having grown chillier. "I want you to come home straight after school, understand?"

The front doorbell rings. Dawn pops up out of her chair.

"I'll get it. It's probably Xander and Willow."

She rushes out of the room.

"Do you understand me, Buffy?" Joyce crosses over next to her. "Right after school. No stopping off, no friends. You come straight home. Do you understand?"

"Gee, Joyce, what're you going to do? Hit me?" Buffy smirks at her.

"Buffy Anne Summers, that's enough out of you…"

"This is bogus!" Buffy stands up, giving her mother a look. "I'm outta here…"

"Right after school, young lady!"

Buffy turns to go, and almost runs into Dawn, who's returned from the front room, carrying a large vase of flowers.

"Watch it, spazmatic," Buffy growls, then notices the flowers. "Whoa, what's up, Dawn? Got a secret admirer?" She laughs at the idea.

"No," Dawn blushes a little, thinking of Xander. " They're not for me. They're for mom!"

"Me?" Joyce smiles, looking at the flowers. "Who'd be sending me flowers?"

"I bet it was dad!" Dawn says, "I bet he's missing you!" She hands the flowers to Joyce. "There's a card and everything!" She grins.

"You think?" Joyce smiles. _Gee, maybe Hank is missing me? Maybe I've been wrong?_

"Oh yeah, sure," Buffy says, sarcastically." They're from dad. Sure."

Joyce sets the flowers down, and taking the card, opens it and reads it.

_**Dear Joyce,**_

_**I had a hot time last night. So hot, I'm still wet thinking about it. I hope you're feeling the same way. So, what do you say? Want to have lunch today?**_

_**Love and lots of hot kisses**_

_**F.**_

Joyce blushes, and quickly hides the card. _Oh, that would be just great, if the girls saw that._

"So, are they from dad?" Dawn says, smiling.

"Yes, honey, they are," Joyce recovers quickly. "He sent them."

"Really, mom?" Buffy smirks. "What'd he say in the card?"

"Just… that he misses all his girls, and he'll be home this weekend. They're for all of us," Joyce ducks that bullet fast. She puts the flowers in the middle of the table. "Anyway, aren't they lovely? We'll just put them here."

"He said that? He misses us?" Dawn says, "I miss him too!"

Buffy just looks at the flowers, and then at her mother. She doesn't say a word.

"C'mon, if you guys want a ride to school…" She heads for the door. "We've go to go now…"

"Just a minute, mom," Dawn says. She turns to Buffy. "Did Willow and Xander say they were going to meet us here, or at school?"

Buffy, however, is staring at the flowers.

"Hmmm? I dunno, I think they said at school," She murmurs, not taking her eyes off the flowers.

"Oh, ok." Dawn calls out to her mom." We're coming!" She grabs Buffy's arm. "C'mon, we don't wanna be late." She starts pulling on Buffy.

"Oh, no, we wouldn't want that," Buffy says, sarcastically. "You might miss Xander."

" Shut UP!" Dawn blushes.

"Dawn loves Xander, Dawn loves Xander…" Buffy teases her.

"You're mean!" Dawn says, disappearing out the front door.

Buffy takes one last look at the flowers on the table.

_No way dad sent those. So, dear old mom lied. Someone else sent them._

_Wonder who's sending mom flowers, hmmm?_

Smiling to herself, she follows Dawn out.

4

"Ok, Buffy, what's the deal?"

Buffy and Dawn are walking towards the school after being dropped off by Joyce a block away. Dawn blocks Buffy's access by the school fence.

"What're you talking about, squirt?" Buffy says, trying to move around her younger, taller sister.

"You know what I'm talking about. The dining room this morning was as cold as a freezer…and it had nothing to do with the weather. What's going on between you and mom?" She gives Buffy a sidelong look. "What'd you do this time?"

"I didn't do jack, squirt," Buffy says, "now move your butt so I can get into school, ok?"

"Yeah, well mom didn't ground you for nothing. What's that about, huh?"

"None of your business, so move." She tries to push around Dawn.

Dawn doesn't move, and Buffy is stymied.

"Not moving, Buff, till you tell me why mom grounded you." Dawn spreads her arms and legs, effectively blocking the gateway. "So, if you wanna get in, you gotta spill it."

"Fine, don't move, see if I give a crap," Buffy shrugs. She pretends to move off, then quickly slides down between Dawn's spread legs, getting past her. "God, you're a moron, squirt." Buffy gets up and brushes herself off.

"Stop calling me that," Dawn, frustrated, turns on her. "I'm taller than you are, Buff."

"You know your height isn't why we call you squirt, squirt," Buffy teases her. She gets a wicked smile on her face. "Boy, just wait til Xander finds out about it." She laughs.

" You wouldn't tell Xander! … would you?" Dawn blushes, embarrassed. Lately, she's not exactly what Buffy will say or do. She puts on a bluff. "Anyway, why should I care what you tell Xander?"

" Tell Xander? Tell Xander what?" Xander, followed by Willow, joins the sisters. "What should Xander know?" He addresses Buffy. "Hey Buffy. Whatcha got to tell?"

"Hey, Buffy, Dawnie," Willow adds in. "Wasn't the Bronze like totally cool last night?"

"Shhh, Will. Buffy's got a secret to tell. About Dawn here," Xander beams brightly at Dawn. "Heya, Dawn."

"Hi, Xander," Dawn smiles at Xander. She turns to Buffy, and glares. "Don't you DARE tell them…"

"It was ok," Buffy says, talking to Willow, ignoring her sister. "Band was a little lame though, don't you think?"

" The Dingoes?" Xander puts in. "The Dingoes are totally cool."

"Hey, what's this secret, anyway, Buffy?" Willow asks. "What's Dawn hiding, eh?" She looks at Dawn, grinning.

"Yeah, what's the deal, Buffy?"

"If you tell them, Buffy Summers…"

"Well, you know I call Dawn squirt, right?"

"… I'll tell them about the 9th grade beauty pageant…" Dawn gives her the look.

Buffy's ears turn red. Always a bad sign.

" I told you what I do to you if you EVER told anyone about that, Dawn," Buffy growls at her sister.

"Whoa! Two secrets… this is mega…" Xander grins. "C'mon, Dawnie, spill it!"

"Oh, look, it's the Slummer sisters, joined by Dumb and Dumber. Hey losers, move your asses. Real people are trying to get through here!"

Cordelia Chase, with the Cordettes, stands by the school gate. She's smirking at the group of them.

Dawn, Xander and Willow immediately grow sour faces. Buffy, on the other hand, just smirks.

"Well, Cordelia Chase, how's it hanging? Not as low as that ass of yours," Dawn says, backing up. "Sorry, don't want to get in the way of those wide load hips of yours. Surprised you can make it through the gates without turning sideways." She makes an elaborate gesture welcoming gesture. "Please, after you and your herd of sheep."

"Ha-Ha, Skipper, " Cordelia curls her lip, "You're just too, too… you know? Guessing you're looking to be miserable," She gives Dawn the once over. "Of course, with that stick figure body, I'm betting you already are."

"Hey, love the hair, cow…" Dawn starts up.

"Knock it off, Squirt," Buffy say, pushing her sister. "Ignore her, she's got Tourettes. She can't help what she says."

"Buffy!" Dawn glares at her.

"Shut it, Dawn," Buffy growls at her. She turns to Cordelia. "She's a dork, but she's my sister, too. Look, I get it. This is your school. Yesterday? I was just feeling my way around. So, not gonna make trouble for you, and you just leave the dope alone, ok?"

"You couldn't make trouble for me anyway," Cordelia gives her an appraising glance. _What's her game? Maybe she's not as dumb as she looks. _"But, maybe you're not as dumb as you look. Tell ya what, Blondie. Meet me for lunch, we'll discuss terms for not making your sister an example."

" Yeah, ok…" Buffy is taking Cordelia's measure at the same time. "Why not? But, leave the herd at home." She nods at the Cordettes.

"Hey, I heard that!" Harmony Kendall, Cordelia's 'second', says.

"Great. Whoever said sheep can't hear?" Buffy grins.

Cordelia snorts a laugh, while Harmony burns.

" You gonna let her get away with that?" Harmony fumes.

"She's right, Harm. You are a sheep." Cordelia dismisses her. She turns to Buffy. "So, lunch then?"

"You got it Cordy" Buffy says, smiling.

"Don't call me that," Cordelia flushes. "Names Cordelia."

"Whatever," Buffy says, "Seeya at lunch." She walks back to the others.

Cordy watches her walk away, and one word comes to mind. _Tasty. Might not be overly dumb, either._ She licks her upper lip. _This might work out ok. Or she dies… heh._

"Are you going to let her get away with insulting us?" Harmony complains, when she rejoins the group.

"She insulted _you,_ Harm," Cordelia says, "Anyway, doing that's too easy to make a deal about. C'mon."

She and her group move off towards the school.

"What's the deal, Buff?" Dawn asks, obviously upset. "Why were you talking with the skank from hell?"

"Yeah, Buffy. You're not gonna really meet her for lunch, are you?" Willow says, worried. _Cordelia, bad. Cordelia and Buffy… oh, crap!_

"Yeah, I am. Just to keep her from making life miserable," She lies to the others. "I only got a year to go, and don't wanna have to suffer through her crap. It's not big. Not like we're gonna be friends or nothing…" _Unless I work it right. Be nice to be back in the power group, and away from the geek squad._ "Hey, I might even get her to ease off you guys," She smiles at Xander and Willow.

"Really?" Willow looks happy, "god, no one's been able to do that yet, That'd be a bonus."

"Still, I'd be careful," Xander sounds dire, "I hear she has a poison ring. Be careful what you eat."

"Xander!" Willow hits his arm. "Ignore him, he's trying to be funny, and failing miserably."

"Why're you doing this?" Dawn asks, suspiciously. She knows her sister all too well. "Why're you trying to protect me? You never did before…"

"Hey, Squirt, we're in this together. Sister power, you know?" Seeing she's not buying it, she goes on, "anyway, if you wanna change the power structure, gotta work from within…" She grins.

"That's more like it," Dawn says. "So, you thinking of knocking the bitch off her perch?"

"Maybe, Squirt…" Buffy says. _Or, get really close to the power around here._ "Anyway, we'll see what happens. Right now, gotta get to class…" She starts towards the entrance.

"Hey, Buffy! Wait up!" Willow says, following her quickly. " Why do you call Dawn squirt, anyway? I mean, she's taller than you…"

"Yeah, what's that about?" Xander asks, coming up behind with Dawn.

"Well, you see, Dawnie has this little problem when she gets excited…"

" Buffy!" Dawn squeals. "Don't you DARE!"

The four disappear into the building.

5

"Ah! Damn! How'm I supposed to judge this stuff, anyway?"

Joyce, sitting in her office, looks at the web page in front of her. It's an art auction site, and there are photographs of the pieces for sale, along with a history and a starting bid price.

_All well and good, but what moron took the pictures? You can't tell squat about them. Most of the stuff is too dark, and even if not, sometimes the stuff is in like a soft focus. Great for portraits, really lousy for art._

Disgusted, she closes the browser, and leans back in her chair. She can't really concentrate on art right now, anyway. Her mind keeps wandering back to last night. To this office, which was the scene of her rather fantastic and multi-orgasmic tryst with Faith.

Looking around, you couldn't tell anything other than business had happened here. She'd been very thorough in eliminating the evidence of their little encounter. Still, her mind was very active, and she could still hear the squeak of the fold out bed springs, along with the little sighs, whispers, moans and screams(_God, I never even KNEW I was a screamer before! I'm so embarrassed!_) that emanated from that corner. And, even with the cleaning products, she could still get an occasional whiff of the odors generated.

_And that card with the flowers this morning wasn't helpful in keeping my cool. God, every time I look at it…_ She picks it up, reading it again… _I start to get damp. Imagine, pushing 40 and finding out you're a slut. God, I'm sooo doomed._

"Joyce?"

Joyce looks up to see Taylor standing in the doorway of her office. She smiles.

"Hi, Taylor. What's up?"

"Nothing really, Joyce. Just wanted to let you know Tom and I got that shipment inventoried and catalogued. Took awhile, but we're done now."

"Yes, sorry about that. I planned on getting more done last night…" Joyce feels a twinge of guilt. _Yeah sure, then Faith showed up, and all that went out the windows…and your clothes went on the floor! _" … but I had an emergency."

"Oh, don't worry about it!" Taylor says brightly, moving into the office. "I didn't really mean to stick you with it last night," She moves to Joyce's desk, "I wanted to thank you again for letting me go to the party."

"Hey, like I said, you're young, shouldn't be cooped up doing some old inventory we could get to the next day. So, did you have a good time!"

"Oh yeah, the best. Lots of dancing and stuff…and…"

Joyce notices Taylor's kind of waving around her hand, indicating something. She smiles.

"Well, look at that!" She takes Taylor's hand, seeing a brand new ring on it. "What's this? Ooooo, it's pretty!"

"Billy asked me to marry him! Isn't that so cool!" Taylor is smiling and blushing.

"Really?" Joyce arches a brow, "so I guess it was serious after all."

"It was so unexpected," Taylor beams. "I was floored."

"I'm taking it…" She indicates the ring,"… you said yes?"

"Yes!"

"So… ummm… isn't this kind of rushing things? I mean, last night it seemed you wanted to wait for awhile, have a career and that kind of stuff."

"Well, sure, I mean, we're not like getting married right away. Billy believes in long engagements, and like I said, I have plans too."

"Ok, not trying to rain on your parade here, Taylor, just being be sure you know what you're doing. You really should do what you want, you know. Plenty of time for guys later." She grins ruefully. "They can take up a lot of time and attention, guys can."

"Oh, Billy's not like that. He's very supportive of what I want to do. He believes in women working. He thinks I should pursue my career and all, even after we're married."

"Uh-huh. I'm sure," Joyce is so very _not_ sure, "Still, people change, you know."

"He won't… I've known Billy… gosh, it seems like forever," Taylor laughs, "He's always been like this." She smiles brightly.

"Boys are always most charming when they're courting, Taylor. It's after you have to worry about."

"Look, Joyce, " Taylor leans in, face sympathetic, "I know you've had some problems with your husband and all, but it won't be like that with me and Billy. It's different."

_Mmmm-hmmm. That's what I thought about me and Hank._

"Ok, I'm sure you know what you're doing, Taylor. Just …" Joyce smiles, "Want you to be sure this is what you want."

"Oh, it is, Joyce, it really is!" She beams, again. "I guess I better get back to work. Just wanted you to be the first to know."

"Thanks Taylor."

Taylor, almost seeming to walk on air, walks out of the office.

Joyce watches her go, shaking her head.

_Sure he's all nice and sweet now, honey. But just wait a couple of years. Then he'll be bored with you, and start looking around, and find some other skirt to check out and… Gee, bitter much, Joyce? Not all men are Hanks… Yeah, well, so far, I haven't seen the other model… other model?… yeah, the enlightened, intelligent, sensitive and caring model… Yeah, bitter much, aren't you? … don't I have a right?…_

The phone on her desk rings, interrupting her thoughts. She picks it up.

"Hello, Sun Coast Galleries. Joyce speaking, can I help you?"

"Hi, baby," a familiar throaty contralto voice comes over the phone. "Mmmm… if you help me like you did last night, not sure I'll be able to walk for a day or two." Faith laughs softly.

"Faith!" Joyce almost squeals into the phone. Then her voice goes low and soft. " Faith, baby, hi! Got your flowers, they were lovely."

"Yeah, I was passing a florist this morning, and I saw them and they screamed Joyce. They were pretty, soft and smelled good… like you do."

"God, flattery will get you everywhere," Joyce giggles. "What's up? Why're you calling?"

"Well, it's getting close to lunch, and I was getting kinda hungry," Faith's double entendre isn't lost on Joyce, who blushes. "So, thought I'd call up my favorite girl. See if she were feeling hungry, too? Maybe have lunch with me?"

Joyce gets a low down tickle, and a definite dampness between the thighs when her mind thinks about the kind of snacking she'd like to be doing. _No, work, business… no time for that right now!_

"Gosh, honey, I'd love to, but I'm kinda busy…"

"Really? Gee, you don't look that busy. You look like you're checking out your assistant's butt. Not that I can blame you… she's a little hottie…"

_What the hell? That's so not…_

"Faith, what're you talking about? I'm…"

"You're sitting in your office, staring out the door, looking at your cute little assistant… and her ass. Now, look a little to your right…yes…a little more…"

Joyce follows directions, and sees Faith, holding a phone in one hand, a picnic basket in another staring in at her.

"There you go…"

"Faith! You… you…"

"Sexy thing?"

"Well…yeah…" Joyce's voice goes all soft and gooey. "What're you doing here?"

"Well, Joyce," The voice comes from her doorway, Faith having pocketed the cell, "Like I said…" She waggles the basket. "…I brought lunch. Hungry?"

Joyce rises from the chair, and pulls Faith in through the doorway. She closes the door, and shuts the blinds.

"Get in here, you," Joyce says.

Before Faith can even think, Joyce has her arms around her, giving her a hot, toe curling kiss. More, she feels Joyce's hands seek and find her ass, giving it multiple loving squeezes.

_Wow! I think I've created a monster here… mmmm… and loving it!_

"Mmmm…" Faith purrs after the kiss breaks, "Iffen I'd known the tips would be so damned good here, I woulda started delivering lunch a whole lot sooner…mmmm…" Joyce pulls her into another heated kiss.

"Got your flowers, but I loved the note more," Joyce pants when she breaks the kiss. "Very nice." She squeezes Faith's ass again.

"Joyce, you dog!" Faith chuckles, loving the grabbiness. "C'mon, better feed you soon… or this picnic is so gonna be wasted."

"What'd you bring me?" Joyce is like a kid, trying to look in the basket.

"Now, now patience, Joyce. Good things come to those who wait patiently."

"Tired of waiting, " Joyce pinches Faith. "Hungry now!"

"God, you're terrible!" Faith laughs, loving the playfulness. "Just sit down, and I'll take care of it. Stop that!" Faith wriggles away from yet another pinch. _God, horny MUCH, Joy?_

Faith takes the checkered cloth she brought, and after moving a few things, spreads it out over Joyce's desk. Then she starts unpacking the basket.

Along with cold fried chicken, potato salad, fruit and chips, she puts out a bottle of wine, and two glasses. She grins at Joyce.

"So, what do you think? Pretty classy huh?" She winks.

"Oh yes, very nice," Joyce isn't looking at the picnic at all.

The two spend then next half hour eating and talking, Faith telling tall tales about her time at Tina's, and how she's buffaloed the local University in accepting her.

"Really? You mean UC Sunnydale? You got in there?" Joyce asks, a little surprised and pleased.

"Well, gee, don't act so surprised, Joyce," Faith says, "Not a dummy. I mean, yeah sure, I'm gonna have to like take some remedial class. But I think I'm totally ready for this. Don't you think I'm like college material?"

"Of course, sweetie. I was just surprised. I wasn't sure you were even going to apply to the local JC's, and now you're in UC Sunnydale. I'm very proud of you, Faith."

"I told ya, Joyce. I'm here for the long haul. I'm planning on making something of myself. I want you to stay proud of me," Faith says seriously. "It's important to me." She leans in closer. "You're important to me, baby. Whatever it takes, whatever I gotta do, I want to be part of your life…"

"Oh … honey…" Joyce is out of her chair. She comes over to Faith, putting her arms around her. "I'm so proud of you…" She kisses Faith tenderly. "I love you so much…" She kisses her again, lingering on her lips. "… so much," She says, her lips moving against Faith's.

Faith snakes her arms around Joyce's neck, and Joyce somehow winds up in Faith's lap. The kissing becomes seriously passionate, Faith pushing her tongue into Joyce's mouth, claiming and receiving control. Her hand slips under Joyce's blouse, and slides up her tummy and side to Joyce's breast. She squeezes lightly.

Joyce moans appreciatively, and slips her hands around and under Faith's blouse, loosening her bra.

"Nice maneuver, Joyce. Where'd you learn that one?" Faith teases her, laughing at Joyce's blush.

There's a knock at the office door.

Both women scramble a bit to straighten up. Joyce goes and opens the door, revealing Taylor at the door.

" I'm going to lunch, Joyce. Is that ok?"

"Sure honey. Just … I'm going to be busy with a client in here. I don't want to be disturbed. Could you put up the ' be back soon ' sign on the front door?"

"Sure, Joyce," Taylor tries to get a look in the office, but Joyce blocks her.

"Also, if the office is locked when you get back, just … take care of business, ok? And hold my calls."

"Ok, Joyce," Taylor looks a little puzzled. "Is everything ok?"

" Yes, everything's fine," Joyce says. "I'll see you later. Enjoy lunch."

" Ok," Taylor gives Joyce a look, then retreats. Joyce closes the door, breathing a sigh of relief.

Faith can't help chuckling a little bit. "So, maybe we should go back to my place…?"

"No, we'll be ok here, now," Joyce says, "I often deal with difficult clients and artists in here. I had the office soundproofed to keep it from carrying into the gallery." She grins a little lasciviously. "I always knew it'd pay off someday…"

They spent the next hour or so making each other very, very happy. Faith played teacher, teaching her very willing student some new techniques in woman/ woman loving. It turned out that Joyce made a very wise investment in soundproofing, with some of the noises that came out of them.

Finally, sated, both lay side by side on the hide-a-bed, kissing and touching, not wanting it to end. Finally, sighing, Joyce sits up.

"I guess we better get dressed," She says, a feeling happy and blue at the same time. "God, I really don't want to."

Faith sits up next to her, putting an arm around her shoulder.

"Me either, honey," Faith hugs her. "But, seeing how things are, and all, really don't have any choice."

"Yeah, I wish things were different…" Joyce gets up, starting to collect her clothing.

"Hey, some good news. I think I have a line on a job…"

"Really?" Joyce smiles. "That's great, Faith"

"Yeah, well, not that great. I mean, it's like a bartender's job at a little pub by the campus. Good thing, it's close to campus so I can like work more hours. Bad thing? It's close to campus, and frequented by college kids. With all that crap thrown in."

"I'd love to have you here, Faith. But I just hired Taylor, and I'm still struggling to make a go of it…"

"What? You mean you're not firing your cute and competent assistant to hire me, your girlfriend?" Faith throws up her hands," Well, that's it, Joyce. We're through. I'm outta here…"

"WHAT?" Joyce feels a surge of panic.

"Joyce, just kidding!" Faith sees the panic in Joyce's face.

"Don't EVEN kid about that!" She moves away, upset.

"Joyce… Joyce!" Faith gets up, following her. She puts her arms around her waist. "Honey, I'm sorry. Really. I was just kidding. God, I couldn't leave you if I wanted to…" Faith leans her head on Joyce's back. "I was a total wreck without you. You leaving me, dumping me. I … " her voice softens. "…I've been living in hell, not knowing why you left me. Thinking you didn't care about me…"

Joyce puts her hand over Faiths. She leans into her.

"You're the best thing, the only thing I really got going for me right now…"

"Joyce," Faith says softly, hugging her a little tighter.

"That's not fair, not really. But things just seem so … I just don't know what to do…"

"What is it, Joyce? Can I help?"

"No, not really… " Joyce sighs. "I just see you, after all you've been through, putting your life together. And my daughter, Buffy, who's had it pretty good, seems to want to throw it all away. I… god, I'm just not getting it…"

As briefly as possible, Joyce explains what's been going on at home.

"… and for awhile, she seemed better. Things were getting better. But lately, she's been acting up again, and last night… we had a big fight… well, pretty big. I hit her…"

"Really?"

"And then, she hit me back!"

"Oh, Joyce," Faith says, taking her hand.

"I just don't know what to do with her…" Joyce shakes her head, "I love her dearly, but right now, I don't like her very much. It's as if she's doing this deliberately. I think she blames me for what happened in the marriage…"

"How can she blame you? It was Hank that was doing the running around… "

Joyce gives her a pained look.

"Well, he did it first, anyway! I'm sorry, but pretty much when we were together, I thought you were pretty much getting a divorce…" Faith feels a little defensive and flustered.

"Oh, god… no, honey… I'm sorry… I…" She reaches out, cupping Faith's head in her hands. "You… you're the one GOOD thing in my life right now. I'm doing everything wrong… I didn't mean to say this has anything to do with us, really, just… well, I did kind of cheat on Hank back… but it's not your fault. You see?" She leans in closer. "Please, don't be upset with me…"

Faith looks at her, and then just leans in and kisses her softly, gently. She pulls Joyce close, and just holds her, caressing her back. There are maybe a million things she wants to say; essentially, what they have? Isn't wrong, isn't bad, couldn't BE bad, ever. She knows, however, that words aren't what Joyce needs. She just needs to be held.

"I'm so confused, Faith. They're my babies," Joyce pulls away a little, looking at Faith. "They're the only good thing I've got out of that marriage… and now Buffy hates me… I'm a rotten mother…"

"That's stupid talk," Faith says, pulling her back in her arms, "Listen to me. You love your daughters. You're smart, you're beautiful; trust me, you'll figure this out. I know you will, Joyce."

"You think?" Joyce asks hopefully, "she's just so angry. I don't know how to make it better for her."

"Any time you need to talk about it, Joyce? Vent, or whatever, I'm here for ya… don't have a clue how to help you… but I'm here to listen…"

Joyce looks at Faith. "You don't know how much that means, Faith. It' means a lot, you know? It's easier, just having someone to listen," She pulls Faith into a hug, "Did I ever tell you how much I just love you?"

" Well, I wouldn't mind hearing it again…" Faith smiles.

"I love you," Joyce says with some deep feeling. She kisses her, then stands up from the bed. "God, I better get going. I've got a client I've got to meet."

"Yeah," Faith says, "I gotta check out that job. I need something to pay the rent and stuff," She grins.

"I really wish I could bring you on here, Faith. I do."

"Naw, maybe not. We'd be in the office all day, and your girl would get pissy and suspicious."

"Don't you think I have any self control at all?" Joyce says. She laughs. "Well, ok, maybe not enough." She pats Faith on the back. "So, will I see you later?"

"Dunno, will ya?" Faith grins. "You know where I'll be if ya want me."

"Well, we'll just see how things go tonight. Having a family dinner. Hopefully, that'll go well."

"You ok?"

"Yes, I'll be fine, Faith," Joyce smiles." Coming?"

_If I had my choice, I would be. Then you'd be… ok, Faith, concentrate…_

"Ok, doke" Faith hurries and catches up.

They leave the office together.

6

Cordelia's bored. Seriously bored!

"Did you see the way Missy was stuffed in that tube top?" Harmony snickers, " I swear, I was just waiting for the seams to start giving. God, I've seen sausages that weren't that packed in."

"Right, I know what you mean," Amanda nods. "That hair. Did she like run comb through it… ever? I swear it was sticking out in every direction. And what color do you call it? Sea Foam? Puke?"

The others, except Cordelia, titter.

_God, is this all they EVER do? Gossip about clothes and boys? Major yawner,_ Cordelia thinks. _There ARE other things in life. At least, that's what I'm told!_

"And still… somehow she managed to snag Brad Fields away from Melinda Peters. God, can you believe it?" Cindy, trying to restrain a laugh, because she sounds like a braying donkey when she laughs, bites her lip. "So totally against the laws of nature!"

"I dunno about that," Aura chuckles, "I mean, the clothes she wears? Always make her boobs look bigger. Sometimes, they look like they're going to fall out. Parade around like that in front of a guy, he's going to choose it every time. Guys and boobs, it's a natural, you know?" Aurora makes a face. "Sluts always win!"

"That's so, so true," The others agree, nodding wisely.

"Cordy, you ok? You're kind of quiet," Harmony leans over, speaking softly.

" Harm? How many times have I told you not to call me Cordy? I'm not made of strings, and I hate that nickname." Cordelia is all over her.

"Sorry, sorry… no one could hear," Harmony defends herself. "Gee, don't have a Guernsey."

"Then don't act like one, " Cordelia snaps. She waves Harmony away, and with a shake of her head, scans the crowd around her.

_Anything's got to be better than this._

She spots Buffy making her way around the tables, looking for a place to sit. She watches with interest as Buffy approaches and moves away from the geeks, freaks, nerds, band and outsiders. _Well, she's got good instincts, anyway._ She then tries the Jocks, who start with the ' hey baby, yeah baby'. Shaking her head, she turns to the cheerleaders, who give her a 'please, your kidding, right?' looks. Finally, she elects to go outside. _Ahhh… ok then._

Cordelia rises, and her coterie rises with her. She gives them a withering look. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Well, you were getting up to… " Harmony starts.

"Stay here. I've got something I've got to do. I'll see you guys later."

As Cordelia walks off, the other girls look at each other.

"What's that about?" Amanda asks, watch Cordelia leave the cafeteria. "We like go everywhere together."

"I think it's that new girl. What's her name? Muffy? Daffy? I don't remember. I think she's going to like, humiliate her, you know?" Cindy puts in.

"Yeah, well, if that's so, how come she didn't let us come? I mean, wouldn't she want us there if she were going to humiliate her?" Harmony looks puzzled.

"Maybe she wants her to like, join us?" Aura puts in.

"No WAY!"

"That's bogus!"

"She wouldn't do that, I mean, really."

"Well, she _is_ from L.A.," Harmony says, "you know how Cordy…er Cordelia worships everything L.A."

"Still, she was ragging on her," Cindy says. "Naw, I think she just wants to like… set her up, then she'll tell us and we'll figure a way to really humiliate her…"

"Yeah, that's it. It's a setup," Harmony agrees.

"This is so gonna be good. Did you see how snarky she was earlier?"

"Cordelia will cut her down to size, then spit her out. So cool."

"Yeah, cool," Harmony says. She's staring at exit. Despite what she said, she's suspicious. _Is Cordelia trying to like, replace us… me? I know she sometimes thinks I'm stupid, but no way I'm gonna let that happen. I'll cut that blonde bitches tits off first!_

Cordelia saunters outside, and looking around, sees Buffy eating on a bench by herself. She smiles to herself. _All alone. Perfect._ She casually makes her way over to the bench, standing over Buffy as she eats.

"Hey," Buffy says, looking up at Cordelia.

"Hey," Cordelia looks down on her. "Forget something, Barbie?"

"No, but you were grazing with the herd, so I figured you changed your mind," Buffy says, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"You know, insulting me isn't going to help you, Blondie," Cordelia shakes her head, "I thought you really were smarter than that. Oh well…"

Cordelia shrugs, and makes to move off.

"What can you do to me, Cordelia? I mean, really?" Buffy says, a bitter edge to her voice, "I was you last year. I ruled Hemery High. Now, I'm at Mayberry Central, stuck here until I can get the hell outta this grease spot by the highway. Why should I care what you or your group thinks?" Buffy shrugs. "I'm just lookin' to get outta this place fast as I can."

" Like I said, I _thought_ you had smarts. Sadly, I'm wrong," Cordelia sits down next to her. "I probably shouldn't waste my time, but you're from L.A., so that already makes you a cut above most of the losers in this school, so listen up… it's not what I can do _to _you. It's what I can do _for _you."

"Gimme a break," Buffy makes a face, "You wanna do something for me? What, you're Mother Teresa? Gimme a break. I know you, Cordelia. Like I said, I was you. There's nothing for nothing, ever."

" Good. Glad to see you're not brainless. Yeah, I want something. I want someone around that isn't a total suck up or brain dead moron. In the 'Dale? Not so easy to find," She looks at Buffy with slightly narrowed eyes. "So, Buffy, when you look at me, what do you see?"

Buffy gives her a slow once over.

"I see, the most popular girl in school. Probably you were Jr. Homecoming Queen and Jr. Prom Queen. Captain of the cheerleaders?"

"So far, so good. Go on."

"Judging by your Prada purse, you Gucci sandals and the Versace dress, I'm figuring Daddy's pretty rich. You pretty much got a lock on the power 'round here, cuz what you can't get on your own? Daddy'll buy for ya. I'm figuring you're dating the captain of the football team. Probably figure you're a shoo in for Homecoming Queen again, and Prom Queen? Yeah, you pretty much got it all." Buffy nods. "Yeah, pretty much, I'm figuring you're Queen of Sunnydale High."

"Yeah, pretty much," Cordelia agrees, "not bad. Like I thought, you're pretty smart, " She leans in, "but there's more to life than High School, Buffy." She smiles enigmatically. "A lot more."

Buffy shrugs. "Yeah, so? Tell me something like, new."

"I've been doing my homework, Buffy. Got a little look at your permanent record. Seems like you were quite the little scamp at old Hemery. Hear you got kicked out."

Buffy blushes red. "How the hell did you…?"

"I got somebody in the principal's office. I like to know what the what is around here." She pulls a notebook out of her backpack and opens it. She pulls out a sheet, and starts to read it over.

"Says here," she continues," that you pretty much trashed the gym at your old school. Why'd you do that?"

"You got my record there. Why don't you just read it?"

"Cuz, I wanna hear it from you."

"Hated the color scheme, What can I say? Institutional gray just bugs me."

"Let's see… fighting, yeah. Cutting class… gee, Buff, seems you went from an A student to a D student in one year. Pretty good, dumb ass…"

"Who asked ya, Cordy?" Buffy sneers at her.

"I'll let that pass, seeing how you're all upset," Cordelia mocks her, " but, don't call me that, moron."

"Ok, butthead, I won't."

" My aren't we touchy?" Cordy grins. "Oh, I see why. Explains the 'tude too. Seems there's problems at home. Tsk, tsk." Cordy shakes her head, "Seems your old Guidance Counselor suggested Family therapy. Guess that didn't work out to good, huh?" She puts down the paper, and leans in. "So, what's the deal, Buff? Is it Daddy or Mommy that's screwin' around?"

Buffy flips Cordelia the bird. "Screw you, bitch, I don't have to sit here and listen to this crap." She starts to stand up.

Cordelia pushes her back down.

"Relax, Buff. Believe me, I know the score. For me, it was mummy dearest. Seems she got another lover, and left Dad oh… couple of years back. Haven't seen the hag since." She grins at Buffy. "I could tell from the 'tude yesterday, you were pissed. Just had to figure out why."

"Well, whoo hoo for you, Cor…DEELYA…" Buffy claps, "So, what is this? Your own version of an intervention? So, is this where you tell me that there's like some support group or something?"

"Oh, please, not even!" Cordelia laughs. "look, Blondie, here's the deal. SunnyD is like … a joke, if you haven't noticed already. It's boring, and frankly, I can't wait to get my ass outta here. Soon as I get that sheepskin, I'm gone. 'Til then? I figure to party and have a good old time."

"Well, again, goody for you, Cordelia. What's that to me?"

"Well, if you'd shuck the 'tude for a moment, you'd see that the people around here are about as boring as the town is. My 'group' so to speak, is the crème of the crop, and that's not sayin' much. Frankly, you and that snotty little sister of yours is the most interesting thing to happen in the 'Dale for awhile."

Buffy gives her a look. "Boy, it must suck here then, if Dawn's interesting."

"Only to torture, Buffy."

"Leave her alone, Cordelia. She might be a pain in the ass, but she's my pain in the ass."

"Don't worry, don't want her. I want you."

"Well, isn't that gay of you?"

"Not like that, idiot!" Cordelia turns a little red around the ears. "I'm talking, I want you to be part of my group. Liven things up a bit."

"Yeah, well, thanks but no thanks." She gives Cordelia the once over, "I'm not figurin' I want to take orders from you."

"Not figuring on giving them to you, Blondie. Look," she leans in conspiratorially," my crew's ok, but pretty much lacking in brain power. I give 'em orders cuz they don't have the capacity to think for themselves. I'm figuring you're different. I figure, you and me? Could have some real fun. So, what do you say?"

"I say… bogus," Buffy shakes her head. "This is way not right. What do you really want, Cor?"

_Not as dumb as she looks. Good._

"Yeah, well, I'm not blind, Buffy. You're cute, in a cheerleader-y way. You could give me competition. Now, if it were last year? Fine, I'd pull out the stops, come out blazing, all guns, and leave you a grease spot on the sidewalk. But ya know what? It's my senior year. I don't wanna have to screw around all year fending you off. So, I'm giving you chance. Join me, don't fuck around with me, and I'll show you the real places to have fun around here." She grins wickedly, "unless, of course, you like hanging with those losers you've glommed onto."

"They're all right. A little geeky, sure…"

"Buffy, c'mon. You're not dumb. They're losers. Xander Harris and Willow Rosenberg? Look up loser in the dictionary, and their pictures are next to it. Why'd you ever take up with them, anyway? Sure not the kind of friends you had back in Hemery."

"Just trying to fit in, Cor. Not exactly Ms. Popularity here."

"Yeah, well, that's the deal, Buff. I'm handing it to ya. Hang with me, and you're instantly cool," Cordelia smiles. "Hang with them, and cool is never gonna happen. Your choice." Cordelia shrugs.

_What's her deal? What does she want? Yeah, maybe she's playin' the old "Keep your friends close, and your competition right under your arm in a headlock" but I'm thinking, there's more here to it. I know I can't trust her. Still… be nice not to be totally on the outs this year. And yeah, she could make it so I'm cool. But what's she gonna want, really, in return?_

_Well, shit, Summers. You got anything else better? You really want to hang out with Dawn and Xander and Willow? Really? Naw, don't think so. Might as well do this. I mean, really? What choice do I got?_

"Yeah, ok, why not?" Buffy shrugs, casually.

"Smart move, Summers," Cordelia smiles, "there's hope for you yet. So, uhhh… first thing? Gotta lose the losers."

"Not a prob. They're Dawn's friends, anyway."

"Ok, cool. Now, another thing? The cool kids? Don't really hang at the Bronze. I mean, please. They let _anyone_ in at that place. Me and my crew hang at The Ivory Tower over by UC Sunnydale. Lot better crowd, college kids. Totally cooler scene. We're gonna be there tonight. You comin'?"

" Can't. I'm grounded." Buffy shrugs.

" Ah, well… too bad," Cordelia says. "I thought you were like cool."

"I _am_ cool. Just cool… and grounded."

"Really? And still doing what_EVER_ Mommy tells you?" Cordy sneers, just a little. " That' sweet… lame, but sweet."

"No, it's not like that, Cordelia. Just, right now, I can't screw around. Things are bad enough, already. Just trying not to get grounded 'til I'm like, 30."

"Yeah, well, thing is Buffy? If you want to be cool, you can't be like mommy's little darling. You know? If you wanna make an omelet, gotta break some eggs…"

"Look, I'll try to get out, but I can't guarantee anything, you know?"

"Don't sweat it, girlfriend. I get it. If you can't make it, you can't make it. I'll just figure that being cool wasn't that important to you," Cordelia gets up. "I mean, not everyone can be part of the crowd."

"Cordelia, come on, be fair!"

"I am, dope. I'm giving you a chance, when I could just crush you. But you kind of amuse me…" Cordelia half grins. "But I get bored really easy… you know? Ta!"

Cordelia walks off, not looking back.

Buffy sits there, wringing her hands. _I gotta get outta the house tonight. Gotta get un-grounded… I can't be part of the geeker squad. I won't be! Damn it…_

Cordelia walks over, snickering to herself. _God, she's so… easy. Gonna be fun, ya know? Been a long time since I had a new toy to play with._

_Hope she doesn't break too easily…_

Cordelia, smiling, walks into the cafeteria.

7

"C'mon, mom! It's not fair!"

Buffy, Dawn and Joyce are in the dining room, eating dinner.

To be accurate, Dawn is trying to eat dinner. She's picking at the food in her plate, anyway.

Buffy and Joyce, on the other hand, seem to be winding up for a fight.

"Buffy, don't you understand the concept of being grounded? Do I have to explain it to you?"

"Mom, you told me you wanted me to get involved with school again. You told me I should go back to cheerleading. Well, here's my chance. I mean, I had to nearly beg the captain of the squad to let me try out, and this is the only shot I'm going to have. She agreed to let me audition at their practice tonight. If I don't go, I'm not gonna get on the team!"

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but you really should've thought about this before you started in again. Being snotty this morning didn't help your case one bit. I'm sorry, but I have to say no."

"You don't _have_ to say no. You want to say no," Buffy grouses. "you just wanna ruin my life, is all." Buffy stands up from the table. "Well, not going to just sit here and let you do it." She heads towards the living room.

"Buffy, sit down. You haven't been excused." Joyce gets up to follow her. "Where exactly do you think you're going?"

"To call dad. I'm going to ask him."

"Forget it, Buffy. Your dad's busy, and anyway, I'm here, and I'm setting the rules. Your dad would agree with me."

Buffy lifts the receiver, and starts to dial a number. "Let's ask him, shall we?"

Joyce comes over, and takes the phone from Buffy. She hangs it up.

"I told you, Buffy. We're _not_ bothering your father with this!"

"No! It's not fair!" Buffy grabs the phone away, and holds it close. "I don't deserve this. This is my one chance to get my life back, and I won't let you ruin it. Not again!" Again, she starts to dial.

Joyce, feeling her temper rise, grabs the phone cord, pulling it from the wall.

Buffy turns a bright red. "This is just so typical. You'll do anything to ruin my life, won't you?" She tosses the phone against the wall.

"I'm not trying to ruin your life, Buffy," Joyce tries to keep her calm, despite it all. "but you have to suffer the consequences of your actions. Acting like a spoiled child isn't going to help." She folds her arms over her chest. "Go to your room."

"No, I haven't finished dinner."

Buffy heads towards the dining room, and is about to sit down, when Joyce stops her.

"You're not listening to me. I'm tired of every meal around here being a battle zone because of your temper. Maybe for once, Dawn and I would like to have a civilized meal without the fireworks. When you start acting like the adult you so often claim being, you can come back. Now, go to your room!"

"Mom, please. Can't we just finish dinner…" Dawn puts in.

"Dawn, this isn't your business. Stay out of it."

"Yeah, Dawnie. Shut up, or she might send you to your room too," She turns on Joyce," I don't wanna eat this crap anyway."

She ducks around Joyce, and storms up the stairs. A few seconds later, her door is heard to slamming, hard.

Joyce stands there for a moment, her guts doing the familiar rumbling that happens whenever one of these scenes is played out. Turning, she goes to sit at the table, across from her daughter.

"Mom…" Dawn begins, but Joyce cuts her off.

"That's enough, Dawn. She's acting like a child, and as long as she does, she'll be treated like a child. Eat your dinner."

They both sit there in silence for awhile, each moving the food around their respective plates. Finally, Joyce sighs and pushes her chair back.

"I better go check on her, be sure she's ok," Joyce says softly. She rises, and notices her daughter isn't eating. "Eat something Dawn, ok?"

"I'm eating, I'm eating," Dawn says, a little defensively. She takes a bite of food, and pushes in her mouth, chewing mechanically. "See?" she says, when done.

Joyce shakes her head, feelings like she's been beaten up.

"I'm sorry Dawn. It's just she always…"

"Forget it. It's Buffy. What else is new?" Dawn looks down at her plate.

Joyce walks up the stairs, feeling a little guilty that Dawn has to pay all the time because of her elder, and most difficult, daughter.

"Buffy?" Joyce knocks on Buffy's door. "Are you ok?"

" GO AWAY!" Buffy yells through the door.

"Open up, Buffy. I want to talk to you! I'm not doing it through this door."

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!"

Joyce turns the knob, and pushes on the door. It's stuck. She grows more irritated.

"Buffy Anne Summers, you open this door right now. Do you hear me?"

There's a momentary silence, followed by what sounds like something being moved. The door opens suddenly, and Buffy is standing there, red faced.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Buffy barks at her. "You've already ruined my life. What more do you want? Maybe you wanna chain me to my bed or something, too?"

"Buffy, stop acting like a child."

"You treat me like a child, why shouldn't I act like one?"

"I treat you like a child, because you think everything is about you. It's not all about you, Buffy Summers. Other's have had to make sacrifices here!"

"Oh really?" Buffy sneers at her. "What sacrifices have you had to make, Joyce? You're right, this isn't _all about me!_ It's about YOU. What YOU want. You and you're stupid gallery and this STUPID TOWN! No one else wanted this besides YOU!"

"Your father and I thought it would be best…"

" Oh, please. Don't give me _that _crap again! Daddy didn't want this. Think he wants to be driving two hundred miles a day to go to work? No wonder he's only here on week-ends. I'm surprised he even manages that! All because YOU had to live in Sunnyhell, the edge of civilization. Just because you came from this Mayberry, why do the rest of us gotta live here? But now, It's always what _Joyce _wants, right? Yeah, great. You ruin everyone's life because you're selfish!"

Joyce feels the gorge rising in her, but shoves it back down, trying to be calm.

"You're father and I believed, after what happened last year, that it would be a good idea for you and your sister to get out of the L.A. environment for awhile. You, if you, remember, were getting into trouble left and right. We wanted to give you another chance in a place that didn't have all the negative influences L.A. had. We did this for you and Dawn…"

"Bullshit!"

"Buffy!" Joyce starts to lose her calm.

"No, _Joyce._ Let's try some truth here, shall we? You wanted to be here, with your family, because you wanted your stupid art gallery. You're too much of a coward to make a go of it in L.A., where you'd have some competition, so you uproot everyone, and drag us to this crap hole, all because of what YOU want! I didn't want this! Dawn didn't want this. Daddy SURELY didn't want this…"

Something snaps in Joyce.

"Poor Henry. Poor, martyred St. Henry," Joyce says in a low voice. "Ok, Buffy, you want some truth? Lets get to the truth, shall we?" She pushes her way into Buffy's room, and closes the door. She points at the bed. "Sit down."

"I'm not gonna sit down…"

"Elizabeth Anne Summers. Sit down, NOW!" Joyce commands.

Buffy, knowing her mom only uses her full name in extreme cases, sits down on her bed.

"What?" She grouses, looking hostile.

"I've been trying to keep this from you and Dawn, but you're right, Buffy. You're an adult now. You should know the truth. The whole truth."

"What? What're you talking about?" Buffy gets a funny feeling. Like she's not going to like what she's going to hear.

"The truth, Buffy. That's what you wanted, right?" Joyce says, sitting in the chair Buffy put before the door. " Here's the truth, Buffy. You're right, this move? Wasn't just about you and Dawn. The truth is, Buffy, I had to move here. I had to start the Gallery, and frankly, I couldn't get the financing in L.A. But I had friends here, Buffy. Friends willing to put up the money. Because, your father wasn't willing to help. So, I decided we needed to move here…"

"I knew it," Buffy says in a low, slightly edgy tone. "This was all about you and your stupid gallery. That's why you ruined…"

"Buffy, be quiet for once, and listen, instead of just interrupting all the time!"

"Fine, whatever." Buffy grumbles." Well, go ahead, _Joyce!_ Explain it to me!"

"Look, Buffy, I didn't particularly _want_ to start the Gallery. But I had to have some means of financial support for us, in case. I mean, I couldn't count on good old St. Hank to be there for us financially… not the way things were going…" she gets up, starting to pace. "I was an Art History major in college, and it's what I know. This was the only way I could see to support us decently. The other options wouldn't pay enough."

"What? What're you saying? Is daddy's business in trouble? Is that it?"

"No, Buffy, You're dad's business is fine. He and his partners are doing just fine. No, you see, Buffy, moving to Sunnydale wasn't just about you're behavior, or my starting the gallery. Frankly, you're father and I were getting a divorce …"

Buffy's face goes pale, and her eyes go wide.

"What?"

"I was trying to keep this from you and Dawn, baby," Joyce says, going to her. "I was divorcing your dad…"

"Why?" Buffy turns hostile again. "Why were you going to break up the family? Wasn't being a wife and a mother enough for you, Joyce?" She turns sarcastic. "Did you need… more?"

"You're not listening at all, are you Buffy?" Joyce sighs, feeling like a big rock is sitting on her shoulders. "I love that you love your father so much. That you're loyal to him. That's a good thing. I don't want to spoil that, but you have to know the truth, Buffy…"

"I know Daddy had that affair last year. But, I thought you forgave him that…" Buffy shakes her head. "Anyway, maybe if you'd been a better wife to him…"

"Is that what he told you? That it was because I was a lousy wife to him?"

"No, not really… no…"

"But that's what you assumed, right? That it had something to do with me?"

"Well, maybe if you weren't so wrapped up in your own thing, and the Gallery now, maybe he'd…"

"Buffy… that affair was just one of a string your father's had. That wasn't the first, nor the last… you're father's been cheating on me for over 5 years… that I know about, Buffy. The only… the ONLY reason I've tolerated it so long is because of you and Dawn. I didn't want you to have to go through the turmoil of a divorce, not at those young ages, and I didn't want you to know what kind of man your father is. I want you to love and forgive your father, Buffy. I do." Joyce sighs heavily. "You should love your father…"

Buffy just sits there, shocked. _Daddy… he couldn't… he wouldn't…_

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I really wanted to shield you from this. But I'm tired of taking the blame for all of this, when it isn't my fault. I've covered for your Father, pretended what was happening wasn't happening… all so you and Dawn could have a normal life. I know what it's like to live as a divorced child, my own parents having gotten divorced when I was young. I didn't want that for you, baby…you or Dawn."

"No…no…" Buffy shakes her head,"… you're lying to me… you want to…"

"Buffy, grow up!" Joyce snaps at her. " God, think, Buffy. Use that brain I know you have. Think. Remember, I was at EVERY game you were a cheerleader. I was always there when you had some function or other. Your dad… well, his attendance was spotty, at best. I made sure he was at the really important ones… I threatened to tell his partners about his little 'affairs'. They're rather conservative, and wouldn't have been too happy with him… he knew I'd do it too, because I wasn't about to let him hurt you or Dawn…not when it was important to you…"

Buffy is still shaking her head, as if she could knock the words from her brain if she shook them out.

"Why now then? Why divorce him now, if you didn't want to break up the family?"

"The last little affair… not the one you know about, but one after that? He got the woman pregnant."

"WHAT!"

"Yeah, good old Hank. I guess one of the condoms he wore broke, and she was too much of a stupid cow to use a contraceptive. I don't know all of it, I just know she was going to sue him for paternity. If that had gotten out, with the mindset of his partners, he would've been ruined. They would've kicked him out, and well… anyway, he managed to settle it, quietly. But it cost a lot, Honey, a whole lot. I'd had enough of his affairs, enough of his putting us at risk because he only thought with his…" She bites back the word, not wanting to make it even worse." Anyway, after that, I wasn't going to have him expose you or Dawn to this mess, so I decided to divorce him. Irreconcilable Differences… that's the only kind of divorce in California, did you know that? Doesn't matter that he was playing around… " Joyce is angry, thinking about it. "That's why I had to move us to Sunnydale, do this gallery… all of it… because Hank can't control himself." There's a bitter edge to her voice.

"But…but… you're not divorced…" Buffy is trying to make sense of this. "You… he… we're … I don't understand…"

"That's why I went on the buying trip across country, Buffy. I couldn't stand being close to Hank, not after what he'd done. I was waiting for the divorce papers, and planned on signing them. But at the last minute, things changed…"

"What changed?" Buffy is suspicious. "What're you talking about?"

"Evidently, his partners got wind of the divorce. It's like infidelity, they just wouldn't accept it. They gave your father an ultimatum. Make it go away, or he was out. Period. So, Hank, rather than taking responsibility for his actions, decided to blackmail me. He threatened that if I went through with the divorce, he would take you and Dawn away from me!"

Buffy just stares at her.

"He paid someone to make up some stuff about me, make it look like I was an unfit mother," Joyce lies, "he threatened to make it a long and ugly divorce. He had everything to lose, what did it matter if he lied or not? All he wanted was for me to drop the divorce. HE didn't care what effect this would have on you and Dawn, but I did. He knew I wouldn't let anything, anything at all, hurt you or Dawn. He had me over a barrel. Drop the suit, or he fights the divorce and makes things really ugly." Joyce's lips tighten when she remembers the scene in Salem. "I couldn't… wouldn't allow him to do that. Bad enough I knew what was going on. I wasn't going to drag you and Dawn through it, making your lives miserable. So… I gave in. I dropped the divorce, but I extracted a price. I made him sign an agreement to finance the Gallery. I wasn't about to let one of his peccadilloes ruin this family again. I had to be sure we had some means of support…"

Buffy sits on her bed, looking shell shocked.

"I'm sorry you had to learn it this way, Buffy. I didn't want you to know… but you're acting like this, blaming me for it all… "

"Liar."

"What?"

"You're a liar," Buffy says, her face blotching red. "You're lying about all of it!"

"Buffy!"

"How can you sit there, and expect me to believe that… crap? Daddy wouldn't do that. He loves me. He loves Dawn. God, you cold hearted, selfish BITCH!" Buffy gets up off the bed. "You just can't stand it that he doesn't love you, and with all the lies you're telling, who could blame him! He can't stand being with you, and neither can I! You… you're evil, lying about him like that! He wouldn't do that to me, to us! He loves us. You just… god, you disgust me, you cold, frigid bitch!"

"Buffy Summers! Don't you talk to me that way!"

"You're nothing but a big, fat liar!" Buffy gets up, advancing on Joyce. "Get out of here, you . I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

"Buffy…" Joyce, upset, still tries to reason with her. She knows how hard this has to be for her." Honey…"

" GET OUT!" Buffy screams at her.

Joyce retreats, realizing that for now, there's no reasoning with her daughter. She's stuck on an idea, and isn't going to give it up easily. She walks into the hall, turning to try to reason with her again.

Buffy slams the door in her face.

Joyce stands there for a moment, feeling paralyzed. _As long as I live, I'll never understand her. How can she be so… blind? So stubborn? If I had pictures, she'd say I made them up. To her, he's a prince, and nothing I say is going to change that. Will she ever see the truth? Is it always going to be like this? God, she's so much like her father, it's scary!_

Joyce, realizing she's nearing her breaking point, moves away from her daughter's door, and stands a ways down the hall, trying to cool off before going back downstairs. She knows trying to talk to Buffy anymore tonight is useless.

Feeling calmer, she walks downstairs to find Dawn staring at her plate. She walks over to her daughter, and sits down next to her.

"Are you ok, baby? I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"What's the difference, mom? See it? Hear it? Same thing," Dawn says. She gets up, taking her plate with her.

Joyce feels a chill in her stomach. _God, I didn't want Dawn to know about Hank…_

"Dawn? Did you hear the argument?"

"Just the loud voices, and Buffy yelling she hates you…" Dawn sighs. "It's like Thursday, right? Time for her to hate you again."

Joyce breathes a sigh of relief. _Thank god she only heard the noise!_

"Dawn, you should eat something…"

"Really, after that, you think I'm can be hungry? God, what's wrong with you two? Why do you have to fight all the time?" Dawn looks at her. "Sorry, I just don't feel like taking it anymore. I'm going to my room." She walks to the kitchen with her plate.

Joyce gets up, following her to the kitchen.

"Dawn, baby, please, I'm really sorry…"

"Yeah, sure, I know mom. Everyone's sorry… but the fights go on and on…" Dawn puts her plate in the sink. "Sorry if I'm just tired of listening to it. Just leave me alone for awhile, ok?"

"Dawn, don't be angry with me, please."

She looks at her mom, face sad.

"You don't get it, do you? I'm not angry. Just tired, Really tired."

Dawn exits the kitchen, and trots up the stairs.

Joyce, pouring herself a cup of coffee, sits at the dining room table. From where she sits, she can see the phone on the floor and the mark it made hitting the wall. She gets up, and puts the phone back on the table; plugging it in. Testing it, she gets a dial tone.

_Nice job, Joyce. Great parenting. You're so up for Mom of the year. One daughter hates you, ready to bolt. The other, just looks through you. Yeah, that's Angry Daughters, 2, Mom 0._

_I don't get her. I don't get how she can idolize her father so, knowing what he did. More, she blames ME! I tried to keep this family together. I gave up something really good, to hold this family together, and what? She blames me for it falling apart. God, how can she be so blind?_

_I thought I'd never think this, but I'm almost glad she's going away to college next year. That is, IF she doesn't mess this year up too. I'm just so tired of her attitude, and her anger, and her blaming me all the time. She just is so much like Hank, it's scary. She doesn't EVEN see what she's doing is affecting everyone. Even Dawn._

_Poor Dawn. She's trying so hard, and she's caught in the middle. I've really got to try harder with her, try to be there for her. I've been so worried about Buffy, I haven't been giving her what she needs. I've got to try to stop fighting with Buffy; find a peaceful way to deal with her. I don't need to upset Dawn anymore than she already is._

Joyce feels more alone than ever. She really hates the feeling. She clears the table, and puts the dishes in the sink. Coming back in, she spots her purse on the counter. She walks over, and opens the purse, pulling out a piece of paper with Faith's Hotel, room number and cell phone number.

She stares at it awhile, debating with herself. Finally, she makes up her mind, and picking up the phone, calls the cell number.

"Hi, honey… Yeah, I miss you too. Are you busy?… oh, you're working? You got the job? That's great!… I just… well, I… never mind, it's not important… no really, it's fine… yes, I'm ok… what? Sound funny? No… just… tired… yeah… ok, well, I'll let you get back to work… no, no, I'm sure I'm fine, Faith. Yes, I'll see you tomorrow? Lunch? Good… ok…goodbye…I love you…yes, goodbye."

Joyce sets down the phone and feels a little unfocused. She feels defeated; alone and sad, and not knowing what to do. Her skin feels a little cold. She hugs herself, needing a hug herself.

Walking upstairs, she feels a knot in her stomach. All her nerves are making a small acid feeling in her stomach. All of this, all that's happened over the last months, has led to this, and she's feeling less than happy.

_I can't do this. I feel as bad as Hank, fooling around behind everyone's back. But I can't give her up, either. She's the only good thing I have right now. She … without her life is so… it's not life at all. It's existing._

She stops briefly at Buffy's door, contemplating going in and talking to her. _And what do I say? What's to say? Just let it alone now, Joyce. Neither of you need another confrontation tonight._

She looks down the hall towards her room. _I know I did what I had to do. I had to be here with Buffy and Dawn. I couldn't let Hank do what he was going to do. Still, sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. I mean, Buffy seems to blame me for everything. And Dawn? Does she blame me too? God, have I made anything better, being here?_

Joyce walks to her room, and opens the door. _Gotta sleep. Feel so tired. Gotta end this day. I can't take much more of it._

She quietly closes the door behind her.

8

Buffy walks across the street towards the University Pub. She's still upset and angry about earlier.

_She's lying. I know she is. Daddy wouldn't do that to me… us. He loves us. No. She just wants to turn us against him. I'm so not falling for it. It's all a big lie. Damn her, she's not going to ruin my life anymore. I'm gonna do whatever I want, because if she thinks she can run my life, she's sooo wrong. Screw her… screw them both. Parents. What a joke!_

_God, I hope Cordelia's still here. I'm so late. If she ruined this for me, I'm so gonna… what? What're you going to do? You can't do shit about it. But if this is messed up, I'm gonna make her pay. Big time!_

Buffy shakes her head. She's just angry. She pulls open the door to the bar, and walks in.

She looks around, and at first doesn't spot Cordelia or any of her crew. She feels her anger rising. _Dammit, I'm too late. Great. Blew it. Thanks Mom, thanks a whole lot. Now I'm stuck with the geeks for the whole year. Hate this. Hate her. She's ruining my whole life!_

She's about to leave when she hears shouts from one of the tables way in the back. Curious, she wanders over.

A group of guys, looking college age, are with Cordelia, Amanda and Harmony. Amanda has a mug of beer raised above her head, chugging it down.

" GO, GO,GO, GO, CHUG, CHUG,CHUG, CHUG!" Everyone else at the table encourages her to down the beer as fast as possible. She finishes the mug and bangs it on the table. She looks around, goofy but triumphant smile on her face. Then she sits back, her eyes somewhat unfocused. She burps, and giggles hysterically.

"She's so drunk," Cordelia says, looking at Amanda.

"Not drunk, just buzzing…" Amanda grins. Then her grin turns upside down, and her face turns a little green around the edges. " Ohhh… not good…"

"Oh, shit…" Harmony says, "Get up, get up, she's gonna blow…"

Quickly, a bunch of guys and girls are out of their seats in the booth, and Amanda, staggering somewhat, beelines for the bathroom.

"Amanda never could hold her alcohol…" Cordy grins, watching her. She turns and for the first time notices Buffy. " Oh, you made it."

"Yeah, sorry. Had a hard time getting away…"

"Well, you're here now. That's the important thing, right?" She turns to Harmony, holding out her hand. "Pay up, Harm."

"What?" Harmony looks surprised; unpleasantly so. "I thought that was just a joke…"

"Yeah, but you woulda made me pay if she hadn't shown. So, pay up."

Harmony throws Buffy an evil look, then reaches in her purse, pulling out her wallet. She takes out a bill, and hands it to Cordelia.

"What's the deal?" Buffy looks confused, and a little offended. "you bet on me?"

"Well, yeah," Cordelia grins, folding the bill and sticking it in her pocket. "Harm here said you wouldn't show, and I bet her you would. So… I won, thanks" She grins.

"Gee, glad I could help you out there," Buffy says sarcastically, a sour look on her face.

"Oh don't get all huffy, Buffy. Heh. Huffy Buffy." Cordelia smiles. It's then that Buffy realizes she's more than a little buzzed. "Sit down baby." She turns to the guy sitting closest to Buffy. "Squeeze in a lil, let my main girl here sit down." Cordelia says with a sarcastic edge to her voice.

The guy moves, and Buffy sits. She's still frowning.

"Oh, c'mon, cheer up. We won, didn't we?" Cordelia grins sloppily. She grabs a mug, and fills it from the pitcher on the table. "Have a brew. Chill out, girl" She shoves the beer towards Buffy. It slops over a little, splashing on the table.

"I dunno, I got school in the morning…"

"God, don't be a buzzkill. Geeze, are you gonna be all Miss Goody shoes two or something?" She laughs a little, "C'mon, we're having a little party… meet some of the guys. Let's see… the guy next to you… that's Tad…"

"Ted," The boy sitting next to Buffy says, "I'm Ted."

"Yeah, Ted. And next to him is Brad?" They guy nods. " Brad. And this hunk o guy." She pats the guy sitting next to her, … is Charlie. And that guy, next to Harm? Pukey."

"Hurley. My names Hurley." He looks a little pissed.

"Sorry, Hurley." Cordelia grins brightly, if a little fuzzily. "That's the guys. You know Harm, and Amanda… where'd Amanda go?"

"She got pukey," Harmony, grinning a little maliciously, says. " remember? Couldn't hold her beer." She turns to Buffy. "How 'bout you? You hold your beer?"

Buffy can feel the waves of hostility rolling off Harmony from across the table. _God, what's her deal?_

"Yeah, I can hold my beer fine," Buffy says, staring back at her. _Who the hell do you think you are, loser?_ Buffy thinks, looking at Harmony.

"I hear a challenge!" Ted, sitting next to Buffy, says. "I think it's time for another chugfest." He turns to Buffy, grinning.

"I dunno…" Buffy says, staring at her beer.

"Aw, C'mon Huffy Buffy," Cordelia grins at her. "Loosen up a bit. You're behind everyone. Go ahead, don't let me down, girl. Been talkin' you up, ya know."

"C'mon, Buffy," Brad says, "It's fun."

"Yeah, Buffy," Harmony says, voice dripping with sugar. "Go ahead. Unless you're like… scared?" She grins at Buffy. "But, you're not scared, are you?"

_Not of you, dummy. Ah, screw it. Why not?_

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Buffy picks up the mug.

The shouts start up.

"CHUG-CHUG-CHUG-CHUG…"

Buffy lifts the mug, and opening her mouth, starts pouring the beer down her throat.

"GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!" the other encourage her, as she continues to chug the beer.

Buffy swallows the liquid, almost choking at one point, but she recovers and continues. Draining the mug, she slams it down on the table, and looks around, triumphant.

"Way to go!"

"Nice one!"

"Do another!"

Cordelia watches her, smiling to herself. She's no where near as buzzed as she's putting on. _Yeah, looks like Ole Buffy might just work out fine._

"Way to go, girl!" She winks at Buffy.

Harmony is also watching Buffy, with nowhere near the camaraderie the others express. _Stupid bitch. Who does she think she's fooling? She's looking to horn her way into the group. What a sleazy little slut!_

Amanda makes it back to the table, looking a little pale. She stands looking at the others, weaving a little bit.

"Not feelin' so good," She mumbles.

"Yeah, you're not lookin' too good," Harmony says, full of false sympathy.

" Maybe you should get her home, Harm," Cordelia says, turning to her blonde companion.

"Me?" Harmony looks at Cordelia, wounded. "Why me?"

"Well…" Cordelia smiles ," For one, you brought your own car. And I don't want her hurling in mine… no offense, Hurley."

"None taken," Hurley grins.

"And… I told you to do it, so do it."

"That's not fair!" Harmony complains. "I mean, why should I have to play nursemaid to her?" She points at Buffy. "Make her do it."

"Hey, I would, Harmony," Buffy says, smirking, "Except, I don't have a car. Sorry". It's obvious Buffy's not at all sorry.

"There you go, Harm. It's up to you…" Cordelia leans in, and says softly, "Don't make me ask again, Harm." Her tone is less than friendly.

Harmony knows if she doesn't hop to it now, Cordelia will probably kick her out of the group. That would be a disaster. Harmony alone? Less popular than a root canal. She needs the group, and Cordelia. Especially Cordelia. Still, she's angry. _It's her fault,_ She grumbles to herself, looking t Buffy. _Before she came, Cordelia wouldn't do this to me. _

"Fine, I'll take her home," Harmony grumbles, getting up and putting an arm around Amanda to steady her. "C'mon, Amanda. God, you better not puke in my car."

"Won't, promise Harm. Thanks," Amanda smiles blearily at her.

"Thanks Harm," Cordelia smiles at her. "I owe ya, babe."

Harmony gets a little thrill from that. From Cordelia, that's almost like praise.

"So, you guys be here when I get back?"

"Naw, prolly goin' pretty soon," Cordelia says. "We'll seeya tomorrow. Night, Harm."

_Dammit! This sucks! _She gives Buffy another evil look.

"What're you looking at?" Buffy asks, catching the look.

"Nothing," Harmony says, almost sneering. "Believe me, absolutely nothing. Come on, Amanda." She leads the hung over girl away.

Buffy watches them go, frowning a little. She turns back to the table.

"What's her trauma?" She asks Cordelia. "I mean, what the hell did I do to her?"

"Oh, ignore her," Cordelia dismisses Harmony with a wave. "She's just jealous. It's nothing new."

"Jealous? Of what?"

"You."

"Me?" Buffy looks puzzled. "Why would she be jealous of me?"

"Hey, who knows?" Cordelia shrugs. "Anyway, forget her."

"Not a prob," Buffy says, Harmony already forgotten. "Now what?"

Cordelia smiles.

An hour, a number of beers, and a sweet little pill Cordelia gave her, and Buffy is having a great time.

She's dancing, somehow winding up with Cordelia as a dance partner. The college guys from earlier have wandered off, and she and Cordelia have been moving from beefcake to beefcake, dancing and flirting madly.

Buffy is happy-happy. The heat, the beers, the pill and music have combined to make everything seem to be brighter, shinier, and prettier. The lights are all swirly, and moving and dancing have become very sensual and to a degree, erotic. Buffy is tingling all over, loving every moment of it.

Cordelia, having maneuvered to wind up dancing with Buffy, watches her carefully. She smiles as Buffy shakes it down on the dance floor across from her.

_Looks like lil Ms. Priss might have a wild streak in her, after all. God, can I call it or what? All I gotta do is find the key to unlock it. I think I'm gonna like shaping her…_

Cordelia is pleased. Also a little horny. X has that effect on her. And Buffy wiggling and shaking isn't making things any less steamy for her. _Wonder how our little blond Barbie is in bed? Wonder if she's ever been to bed with another girl? Hmmm..._

"Hey, Buff," Cordelia grabs Buffy's wrist. "Time for a little breather, girl." She starts to lead her towards a table.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, ok…" Buffy follows along, floating on her own plane.

They sit at a table closer to the bar. Cordelia pokes Buffy in the ribs.

"Hey, girl. Did you check out the bartender? A new one I think. Haven't seen her before."

"Huh?" Buffy looks over at the bar, noticing the brunette bartender serving up drinks. " So?"

"Kinda hot, don't ya think? I mean, she's kinda tasty looking," Cordelia smiles at her.

"I guess," Buffy says, agreeably. "hadn't really noticed." She shrugs.

"How could you miss her. I mean, she's totally hot…"

"Whatever. Not my thing…" Buffy giggles. "… girls, I mean…"

"Really? How do you know?" Cordelia looks at her, "I mean, ever been with a girl?"

"Huh?" She sees Cordelia's mocking look, like she's green. _So not green!_ "Yeah I have… just wasn't my thing, ya know?"

Cordelia gives her the once over. "Naw, I don't think so. I think you're a virgin."

"So not a virgin!" Buffy protests.

"Yeah you are…"

"So not!"

"Hey, it's not a deal, just don't think you should talk shit about what you don't know, is all."

"I so do know. I've been there, done that."

"Really?" Cordelia doesn't sound convinced. "Prove it."

"What? I mean, like how? Not like I took pictures…"

"Not asking for pictures, dope," Cordelia leans in. "Just, if you've been there, done that, then a little flirting shouldn't wig you should it?"

"Huh?"

"Well, she doesn't look real busy, ya know? Why don't ya go over and flirt with her a little. Get her phone number? You do that, and then I'll believe you."

Buffy looks at the bartender, and then back at Cordelia. "Hey, I got nothing to prove."

"Ok, sure," Cordelia nods. "I understand if you're like, scared."

"Not scared," Buffy protests." But- but what if she's like… well, what if she's not into that kinda thing."

"Oh c'mon, looking the way she does? Gimme a break," Cordy smirks. "She's totally into it… but I get it. You're scared."

"Not scared!"

"Then what's the harm?" Cordelia looks at Buffy and smiles. "I mean, if she's not liking it, what's the hurt? She can't like toss ya for flirting."

Buffy's trapped. On one hand, she's a little wigged. _Flirting with another girls? Ok, that's radical … _Still, she can't like let Cordelia know it's freaking her. _I'm from L.A. I'm supposed to be like, cool. If I back out, she's gonna think I'm green… shit, I hate this…_

"Fine, whatever," She says casually, as if flirting with a woman is something she does every day. "I'll be back." She stands up.

"That a girl," Cordelia grins, whacking her on the ass. "Go get her, girl."

She watches as Buffy walks towards the bar, enjoying the show her ass gives in her tight jeans.

_Tasty, _She thinks, as she sits back to watch the show.

Faith is tired, and feeling a little cranky.

_God, I forgot how much I hate tending bar,_ She thinks, sticking her hands in the dishwater to clean some glasses as things finally slow down. _God, and college kids? Got such a "I'm so better than you" 'tude going. Be glad to get outta here._

"Hey, can I get a drink here?" A voice interrupts her.

_Swell, another spoiled rich kid. You can tell by the imperious tone. _

"Be with ya in a sec," Faith says, grabbing a towel and wiping her hands. She turns around to see a cute little blond sitting at the bar. _Well, at least this one is cute._

"So, what can I get ya?" Faith says, giving Buffy the once over.

"Beer," Buffy says, smiling.

_Oh man. Another one. If this one is over 18, I'm straight._

"Fine. Need ID," Faith says, leaning on the bar across from Buffy.

"I'm legal."

"Great. So, showing me an ID won't be a problem" Faith grins.

"Yeah, ok," Buffy makes a pretense at looking in her purse. "Shit. I must've left it in my car. C'mon, be a sport. Just give me a beer, ok?" She puts on her pleading face.

"Well, baby, you better go to your car and get it. Cuz, I'm not serving you a beer until I see some ID." Faith starts to turn away.

"Wait…wait…" Buffy stops her. "Look, don't be that way. I mean, I've had a beer or two already. It's just I forgot to bring my ID…so, can't you just…"

"No. No ID, no service. And if you've been drinking already…" Faith leans over, catching her breath. "Whew, yeah you have. I think maybe you should go home…" Faith turns away, back to her dishes.

"Hey, look… I didn't want a drink, anyway…"

"Oh, really?" Faith chuckles. "Then why did you ask for one?"

"I… just wanted to talk to you… and I thought that was the easiest way…"

"What? Talk to me?" She turns back to Buffy. "Why'd you want to talk to me?" She looks at Buffy, expectantly.

"Well, ummm…" Buffy feels her mouth get dry. _God, this is so bogus…_ " Look, I saw you and you're cute, you know? And I was wondering when you got off?" She blushes a little.

Faith cocks her head to the side, sizing up the tiny girl sitting at the bar. She half grins, amused. "You're flirting with me?"

"Uhhh… yeah… cuz well, your like major cute, and I wanted to get to know you better?"

"You're asking me? You don't know?"

"No, I know… I mean, you're cute… and I wanted…" Buffy so wants to bolt, "I thought maybe if you weren't busy… we could like… get a drink…?"

"What? And I'm going to buy it?" Faith almost starts to laugh, until she sees the girl's expression. "How old are you, really?"

"I'm old enough… I told you, I forgot my ID is all…"

"C'mon, get real. You're like, what? 16?" She gives Buffy a sidelong glance. "You shouldn't even really be in here…"

"So not 16! " Buffy stands up. "Forget it. Sorry I bothered you…" She starts to leave.

"Hey… hey…" Faith lays a hand on her shoulder. "Stop, ok?" She smiles at Buffy. "My name's Faith. What's yours?"

Buffy looks at her. She shrugs. "Buffy."

"No, I mean, really. What's your name?"

"That's my name! Buffy!" She shakes her head. "Bad idea. Really bad idea. Sorry I bugged ya." Again, she turns to go.

"Buffy, wait!"

Buffy turns around.

"What's the deal, Buffy? Did your friend put you up to it? Go flirt with the bartender? Get her number, some crap like that? This some kind of initiation or something?"

"Huh? No…" Buffy sighs, knowing she's busted, and she's going to be humiliated here. "Yeah, sorta. I mean, she put me up to it… but really, you're kinda cute. I'm just not…" She blushes deeper. "… I'm not into …"

"Women?" Faith chuckles softly. "What makes you think I am?"

"I knew it!" Buffy cries out. "God, I'm sorry. Just, the way you're dressed… I thought… she thought… oh crap, I'm sorry…"

"Hey…" Faith leans over. " Don't sweat it. I am. I mean, I'm a lesbian… but don't go around assuming cuz someone dresses like me… they are too… you know?"

"Damn, I pissed you off. I'm sorry. Really," Buffy's contrite. "shit. I really wanted… she's so gonna razz me now. I mean, she thinks like I'm a virgin… with girls that is… and of course…"

"You had to prove you're not, right?" Faith nods. "I get it."

"Look, sorry again, ok?" Buffy , for the third time, starts to leave.

"Whoa up, Buffy" Faith catches her wrist." Tell me something, and don't lie, cuz I'll know it, ok?"

"Ok," Buffy gulps a little.

"Are you?" Faith looks at her. "I mean, have you ever…"

"Been with a girl… woman?" Buffy blushes, and almost whispers. "No. I mean, not with , with. I mean, I've done some kissing on sleep overs and junk… but nothing really…"

"Didn't think so," Faith nods. "So, this is some kind of test?"

"Yeah…"

"She won't let you in the club until you like … come back with some proof, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Let me give you a tip, Buffy. Next time, really flirt, ok? I mean, you're kinda cute, and a little flirting probably would've worked… well, not with me. I've got someone… but someone else…"

"I'm not a kid!" Buffy feels her ears burning. " I know stuff."

_Yeah, maybe not. But you gotta lot of growing up to do. But hey, not your mommy…_

"Look gonna do you a favor…" Faith grabs a marker from under the counter. " Gimme your hand."

"What?" Buffy looks a little scared.

"Oh, c'mon, Buffy. I'm not gonna like bite you… and it's not catching," Faith holds back a chuckle.

"Ok…" Buffy holds out her hand.

Faith takes her hand firmly in hers, and writes something on it.

"What's this?" Buffy looks at the number on her hand.

"My phone number. It'll like impress them like hell, ya know?"

Buffy looks up and smiles. "Gee, thanks!"

"Yeah, well, don't make me regret it. Show it to her, but don't let her have it. Not interested in high school girls, got it?"

"I'm not in…"

"Don't lie, Buffy. Ok? You're not even close to 21," Faith smirks. "Now, go back to your gal pal, and both of your get going. Don't know how you got the beers, but I'm so not wanting trouble with the cops. You both best get outta here. Got it? Don't want to have to kick ya out."

Buffy, a little disconcerted, turns to go. She stops and turns back.

"Thanks, really." She smiles. She turns and walks away.

Faith, watching her go, shakes her head and smiles.

_Kids._

9

Dawn picks up her cell phone, and speed dials the number again.

She waits and waits as the phone rings.

"Hello, you've reached the cell phone of Henry Summers. I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, but if you'll leave your name, number, and a brief number, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Dawn sighs, and waits for the beep.

"Daddy, Hi. It's Dawn again. I really, really need to talk to you. Please call me on my cell phone when you get this message. It's important."

Dawn ends the call, and stares at the time on her phone.

_11:40! Where is he? Why isn't he answering? God, I really need to talk to him. C'mon, Daddy, call back!_

Dawn tries to study the book open in front of her, but she can't concentrate.

The fight tonight keeps coming back to her. Tonight's fight, and the fight from last night, and this morning… _it's all starting again._

_Buffy's starting her crap again, ruining like, everything. She's gonna get everything ruined here, just like she did in L.A. Then, we're gonna have to move again. I don't WANT to move again. God, sometimes I wish she were like… gone. Why does she have to do this?_

_And mom? So not helping. She should know Buffy's doing what she's doing to get to her. And it's so working. I love mom, really. But sometimes, she's so clueless. _

_I can't take this fighting, fighting crap, either. I love both of them, but they're driving me insane! All it seems to be lately is another night at the fights._

She picks up her phone, and dials Hank's number again. She waits as the phone rings, and rings.

"Hello, you've reached the cell phone of Henry Summers. I'm sorry I can't…"

Dawn pushes the end button, not wanting to listen to the voice mail again. She's tired of leaving messages. She wants her dad home.

Now.

_Where are you, daddy? I really need you now!_

To be continued.


	9. Chapter 9

Change of Seasons, Chapter nine.

"It's so unfair!"

Dawn slams the bedroom door behind herself, and throws herself on the bed, a large frown on her face.

"I'm being treated like a child, and it's all Buffy's fault. Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. It's always about BUFFY! " Dawn punches the bed," just because Buffy is acting like a rebel without a clue, is that _my_ fault? Is it! NO, it's NOT my fault. Just because Buffy gets detention for cutting class, did I like hold the gate for her so she could slip away? NO! But, do I get punished because Buffy acts like a spoiled, rotten brat? OH, you BET I do!"

Dawn takes Bear Simon, her huge stuffed bear that has a favored spot on her bed, and picks him up, shaking him.

"How do you like that, Buffy? Hmmm!" Dawn slaps the bear, and then slaps it again. "How's that feel, Buffy? You're ruining MY LIFE, Buffy! I wish I could tear your hair out, BUFFY!" She tosses her bear across the room, watching it hit the wall and bounce, landing face down on the floor. She rushes over to the bear.

"I'm Sorry, Bear Simon!" She picks up the bear, and covers it with kisses. "I just get so ANGRY at her sometimes," Dawn looks at the common wall her room shares at Buffy. "She messes up, and I get to pay for it!" She brushes Bear Simon off, and takes him back to the bed, putting him back in his place of honor. She flounces down on the bed, and broods.

_All I wanted to do was go out on a date. With Xander. _Dawn gets a dreamy look on her face. _Xander, with the melty brown eyes, and the sweet smile that so makes my heart go pitty pat… he's sooo hot!_ Dawn frowns. _But no! Because Ms. Buffy Summers is getting into trouble, mom's afraid if I date a senior, I'm so gonna start smoking and drinking and running around and… GOD, MOM! I'm NOT BUFFY! I'M NOT A MORON! A CLUE, MOM! I'm NOT Buffy! _

Dawn sighs, and lays back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. _What's wrong with her, anyway? Why is she acting like… a brat? I don't get it. Yeah, ok, not saying I was crazy about moving here, either. Of course, that was BX --- Before Xander. And yeah, it sucked saying goodbye to all my friends, and especially Tommy Jackson, just the studliest guy ever… well, again BX. Still, I dealt… why can't she? No, she's all pissed off because this year she won't be like Homecoming Queen and Prom Queen or Guacamole Princess or something. Geeze… get a clue, Buffy. Maybe if you hadn't been like such a dumb ass last year, and hung out with the loser crowd, disguised as the Cool Kids, maybe we would even have to be here!_

_Oh… but if we weren't here, then I never would've met Xander…_ Dawn sighs prettily. _Never woulda looked into those deep, soft, soulful eyes. Never would've kissed those warm, soft lips… oh god, I'll never EVER get to kiss those warm soft lips, and it's all Buffy Anne Summers fault! Because mom thinks I'm going to act like Buffy. Darn it, mom, can't you see?_

Dawn almost flies off the bed, and goes over to her vanity, leaning on the top and staring into the mirror.

"I'm not Buffy, mom! I'm not ANYTHING like Buffy, mom!" Dawn spreads out her chestnut colored hair. "Not blonde mom. And I've got blue eyes, not hazel! And, I'm smart, real smart! Not a 'tard like my older sister, mom!"

Dawn sits down in the chair. She sighs heavily, the weight of the world on her shoulders.

"Can't you see, mom? Don't you get it? I don't want to be like Buffy! I don't want to be _anything_ like Buffy." She looks down, and grumbles. "I'm me, Dawn. So not Buffy!"

_God, all they ever do is fight anymore. Fight, or not talk to each other. Then it's like freezer time around here. I hate this! I hate ALL of it!_

_Yeah, but what're you gonna do, Dawn? Who's going to listen to you? NO ONE!_

Dawn spots her cell phone, lying casually where she left it on her desk. She gets up and goes to it, picking it up.

_Maybe not no one, if I can only get ahold of him!_

Dawn picks up the phone, and presses # 2 on the speed dial. She sits, tapping her fingers while the phone rings.

_C'mon, c'mon be there! Answer, please answer. C'mon…_

"Daddy?" Dawn says, when she gets a real live voice instead of voicemail. "It's me, Dawn. Yeah… I've been trying to call you for like… days… yes… I know, you're busy at work. But… I need to talk to you… yes, it's important… Yes, I swear. It's a matter of life or death….

_Either I get my own life, or I swear, it'll be Buffy's death!_

2

Joyce sits in the living room alone, watching television.

At least the set is on, and the volume is up. But she's not really paying attention to it.

Her stomach is rebelling against the leaden knot called dinner, her body reacting to another dinner eaten in the meat locker, aka the dining room these days. Meals aren't a time of getting together anymore; they're more an endurance trial. _See if you can get through it without the yelling started._

And she's feeling a little guilty about her reaction to Dawn wanting to date Xander. _My god, Joyce, she's 16, do you think she's going to be your little punkin belly forever? She's growing up, and Xander seems to be a nice boy._

_Yeah, I've seen that before. With Buffy. The boy acts all polite and respectful around the parents, but as soon as he gets them alone…_

_Ok, Joyce. Remember, Dawn isn't Buffy. Dawn's got a level head on her … well, most of the time. And she's not a dummy… her grades prove that. She's a good girl, and she won't let anything bad happen…_

_But why does she have to date a senior, anyway? Why doesn't she date a boy _HER _age? _

_Sure, and you dated boys your age when you were her age, right? Sure you did._

_Yeah, and look how well _THAT _turned out?_

_And god, do I need another Buffy on my hands? One teenage rebellious bitch queen from hell is enough…_

_Joyce! She's your daughter! Shame on you!_

_Yeah, and she's acting like the perfect slut. Who knows what she's up to?_

_God, I wish Hank were here sometimes. Only so he'd lay down the law. She listens to him. Maybe for once, she'd be angry with HIM instead of me! _

_Hank isn't here, Joyce. You are. You're the parent. You've got to make this right._

_I hate being the adult. Why can't someone else be the adult for once?_

Joyce sighs, and gets up. Picking up the remote, she zaps the TV and starts towards the stairs. _I'll just go up and try to talk to her. See if we can't find a way to stop fighting about everything. We're not idiots. We can find a way… I know we can…_

She just makes the stairs when the phone rings. _Now what?_ She sighs, and goes over to answer the phone.

"Hi, baby," Faith says, her voice a little throaty. "Busy?"

"Faith!" Joyce is thrilled and a little nervous at the same time. "Aren't you working?"

"Not tonight. And I was sitting here… all alone… feeling so lonely…" You can almost hear the teasing smile in Faith's voice.

"Oh god, honey," Joyce whispers quietly, afraid to be overheard. "I want to be with you… but I can't. I've got to be here with my daughters…"

"I know, Joy," Faith says, "but that doesn't stop you from talking to me, does it?"

Joyce is well aware that more than talking is going to happen here, if she continues with this conversation. She sighs.

_I should go upstairs… and talk with Buffy. We should work this out…_

But her heart isn't in it, not really. She's not ready for another yell fest, nor is she looking forward to more stony silence… the other alternative.

And talking to Faith? So much nicer.

"No, I guess not…" Joyce gives in to her desire," but really, let me call you back on my cell phone. One of the girls might pick up this line accidentally."

"Ok," Faith pretends to pout a little, while a huge smile is covering her face. " Just don't be too long… I'm all cold and shivery, laying here in just my panties and t-shirt…"

_Oh, god,_ Joyce groans internally, picturing Faith on her bed that way. She feels a little shiver of anticipation run up and down her spine. And a response from her center, which is getting very damp all of a sudden.

"I won't be long," Joyce says, throat dry all of a sudden.

She hangs up the phone, and heads for the stairs. As she climbs them, a little guilt hits her.

_I should really talk to Buffy,_ Joyce thinks to herself, _I know I should. But she probably won't talk to me anyway. _She pauses to look at her daughter's closed bedroom door. _Or, she'll start screaming at me again. I really just can't do that tonight. _

_We'll do this. Tomorrow. Yeah, we'll talk tomorrow._

3

Buffy sits up in her room, staring out the window.

Her books sit in a neat stack on her desk, unopened. She glances at them, and makes a face.

_Why should I even bother with that crap? What's the point? So I can be good little Buffy or something? What a joke!_

_I mean, how fair is this anyway? Stuck in this stupid room, again! Busted because I snuck out and met Cordelia and her gang, had a little fun. Wow, that was so terrible, right? Not like I was hanging with the druggies or losers. I was with the cheerleaders. She wanted me to get back to that. I TOLD her I had to meet with them, or not a chance. But no. Then she gets mad when I try to do what she wants me to do. God, is she like a loon? What am I supposed to do?_

_I guess sit up here in this room and rot. That's all I'm gonna do, it seems. First grounded because she gets all pissy at ME for wanting to call dad. Then, she grounds me for this. God, I'll be 35 before I'm done being grounded._

_Aw, who cares, anyway? Not like there's anything to do in this stupid town. The one cool contact I had, Cordelia? That's probably history. I mean, busted for going out? So, what now? Hang at the Bronze? Yeah, with the geeks and losers. Yeah, that's what I want. Bogus_

_This whole town, this whole life, bogus! _

Buffy moves away from the window, and goes over to the desk, looking at the books.

"Nope, don't want to do that… nope…". She shakes her head. She wanders over to her radio, and turns it on. Hearing a song she likes, she turns it up. _Yeah, finally something that isn't totally boring!_

She starts to sing the lyrics to herself, and getting into it, starts dancing to the music.

She's just really starting to get into it when she hears a pounding on her door. Not turning down the music, she dances over, opening it to reveal Dawn standing there, staring at her.

"Hey, Dawnie, hi," Buffy smiles, and grabbing Dawn, pulls her in. "Wanna dance?"

She starts to dance in front of and around Dawn.

Dawn, frowning, goes over and shuts off Buffy's radio.

"HEY!" Buffy comes over, "I was listening to that!"

"Yeah, and I was trying to study… but who can, with that noise?"

"Well, _mom,"_ Buffy answers irritably, "Not noise. Music. And I was listening."

Buffy turns the radio on, louder this time.

"Darn it Buffy! Just because you don't care about your grades, I do. I can't think with that blasting full volume." She turns off the radio again.

"Darn it , Buffy!" Buffy mocks her, " You can't even swear a little. But that's you, right Dawnie? The perfect little student, the perfect little daughter, the perfect little suck up!" She turns on the radio, cranking up the volume. "Get out, Miss Priss. I'll do what I want in here, at least." Turning her back on Dawn, she starts dancing again.

Dawn walks over to the radio, turns it off, and pulls the plug.

"What the heck is with you, Buffy?" She turns on her sister, red faced. "You didn't used to be a big jerk. You used to be almost cool. What the hell is your deal, anyway?"

"Maybe I just got smart, Dawn," Buffy says as she moves to plug the radio back in.

Dawn moves to block her, not letting her pass.

Buffy stands up, looking slightly up at her taller, heavier sister.

"Move it squirt," Buffy glowers at her. "Get outta my way."

"Not until you tell me what's going on with you, Buffy. Why're you acting like a moron?"

"God, get a clue," Buffy ducks around her sister, plugging in the radio. "Are you really that stupid, Dawn?" She turns on the radio again. Very loud.

Dawn, frustrated, grabs the radio, jerking on it to pull the plug from the wall.

"Stop it, Buffy! Stop acting like this, or I'm gonna toss this out the window!"

"You do, and you're going after it squirt… through the window," Buffy shoves her.

Dawn tosses the radio on the floor, hard. It bounces, slides across the floor and hits the wall.

"You asshole!" Buffy pushes her sister again, then goes after the radio. "If you broke it, I'm gonna break you." She shakes the radio by her ear, listening for anything rattling.

"You and who's army, _shorty,_" Dawn gets her own barb in.

"Oh, I'm so hurt," Buffy says, miffed. "Shorty. Gee, did you think that up all by yourself? Or did your geeker boyfriend help you with that?"

"You shut up! You don't talk about Xander like that!" Dawn, losing her patience, comes over and slaps Buffy. "Xander's worth about a dozen of you, slutty!"

"What did you call me?" Buffy's voice becomes dangerously soft.

"You heard me, _SLUTTY!"_ Dawn sneers at her.

Buffy drops the radio, and uncoiling like an over wound spring, tackles her sister, knocking her to the floor. Crawling up, she sits on Dawn, hand raised.

"Take that back, you little whining squirt. Take it BACK!"

"Yeah, well, I wasn't the one that spread my legs like bitch in heat for Dennis Potter, was I?" Dawn says defiantly," ' OH, Dennis, Oh Dennis, Oh…OW"

Buffy slaps her sister, hard.

"SHUT UP!"

"YOU HIT ME!"

"You aint seen nothing… OUCH!"

Dawn grabs Buffy's hair, pulling hard.

Buffy starts slapping her again and again. Dawn bucks underneath her, and rolls over, knocking Buffy off. She jumps on Buffy, straddling her. She starts slapping Buffy.

"Let's see how you like it!"

" WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!"

Both girls look at the doorway, where Joyce, red faced in her robe, is standing. They freeze.

Joyce strides over to Dawn, and tugs on her arm. "Get up, Dawn. Off your sister. NOW!"

Dawn makes a face at Buffy, then gets up, looking guilty and sullen.

Joyce goes to help Buffy, but Buffy waves her off, getting off the floor. She, like Dawn, stands sullen.

Joyce looks from one daughter to the other, her anger rising on each turn of her head.

"Ok, what exactly is going on here, anyway?" She looks at Dawn. " Well?"

"Nothing," Dawn mutters, throwing an evil look at her sister.

"Ok, you," She turns to Buffy, "What's going on?"

"Nothing."

Joyce shakes her head, sighing her frustration.

"So, nothing happened. You just decided to beat on each other for no reason?"

Silence.

"Fine, who started it then?" She looks from daughter to daughter.

"She did!" the two point at each other, saying it in unison.

"You're such a liar, Dawn. You started it!"

"Look who's talking, you …" Dawn decides to avoid the _S _word with mom here. "… you witch!" She turns to Joyce. "She started it!"

" I so did not!" Buffy turns to Joyce," she came in here, and threw my radio on the floor!"

"Because you wouldn't turn it down! God, I couldn't think with that thing blasting away!"

"Of Xander? Over there mooning over tall, dark and geeky?" Buffy sneers at her.

"Shut UP!" Dawn turns red. "You're nothing but a big old Butt Hole!"

"Oooo! I'm scared now, Dawnie," Buffy snickers, "What're you gonna do now? Cry?"

"STOP IT!" Joyce yells at them. "Both of you! I've had enough!" She turns to Dawn. "Go to your room."

"Mom!" Dawn protests.

"Go to your room now, young lady."

"So unfair," Dawn mumbles as she leaves, "Buffy messes up, and everyone else pays. Just so typical…" She leaves, slamming the door behind her.

"What's wrong with you?" Joyce turns back to Buffy when Dawn has left. "Why can't we just have one quiet night around here without you making trouble, Buffy?"

"So, of course, this is my fault, right?" Buffy mutters, flopping down on her bed. "Dawn had _nothing_ to do with it."

"Don't worry, I'll be talking with Dawn, too. But this is about you, Buffy Anne Summers. We can't go a day around here without something going on. Why are you acting like this?" Joyce comes over, and sits next to Buffy. "What is it, Buffy?" She softens her tone. "What's making you so angry?"

Joyce sees a brief flicker in Buffy's eyes, and for a moment she thinks Buffy might actually open up to her. However, Buffy's lips tighten, and she moves away a little.

"Nothing," Buffy says, "Everything's peaches, can't you tell?"

"What were you and Dawn fighting about?"

"Nothing."

"Ok, Buffy. If that's the way you want to play it, fine. I hope you like your room, Buffy, because you're going to be seeing a lot of it. Until I decide differently, you're on restriction. You will go to school, and after, come home. You will be restricted to this room except to eat and use the bathroom. That includes weekends and holidays. No friends, no going out, nothing except school and this room. Clear?"

"That's not fair!" Buffy explodes, "I'm not doing it! I'm an adult…"

"Not until you're 18, and that's a number of months off yet."

"Yeah, well, then I'm so gonna do what I want!"

"Not while you live in this house, Buffy. You live under this roof, you follow my rules."

"And if I don't?"

"There are alternatives, Buffy. Perhaps we'll need to arrange a private boarding school until you're out of school…"

"Boarding school? No WAY!"

"I'm tired of you disrupting this family, Buffy. We've tried to be patient, tried to understand you, tried to work it out. You're not cooperating at all."

"Daddy wouldn't let this happen! He won't let you do this!"

"You're father wanted to send you away at the end of last year, Buffy. I stopped him." Joyce's face becomes grim. "I thought if we got away from the bad influences, you'd be ok. I might've been wrong…"

"You're lying! He'd never do that!" Buffy goes towards her cell phone. "I'm going to call him, tell him."

"Please do. But you might not like what you hear."

Buffy rushes over and picks up her phone. She turns to Joyce, who is standing calmly looking at her. _She's lying. I know it! Daddy wouldn't EVER send me away. She's lying!_

_What if she isn't, Buffy? What if she's telling the truth? Then what?_

_I'm calling, I'm so calling…_

But she puts down the phone, and her face reflects her uncertainty and anger. She almost throws herself on the bed.

"Fine. I'm whatever. On restriction. Fine." She turns away from Joyce, staring at the wall.

" Buffy, I don't want to do this, "Joyce approaches her back. "Just talk to me, tell me what's going on. Please."

"Are you still here?" Buffy says over her shoulder, coldly. "Can't I have any privacy, even here?"

Joyce stares at her a moment, then shaking her head, turns to walk away.

"I know what's going on." Buffy says to her back.

"What?" Joyce stops dead in her tracks.

_What is she talking about? There's no way she can know about Faith…_

" Something's going on," Buffy bluffs. "You think I don't know, but I do."

"I haven't a clue as to what you're talking about, "Joyce also bluffs.

"You think I'm stupid, like Dawn. But I'm not. Those flowers, for instance…"

"They were from a client," Joyce says quickly, "I told you that before."

"Hmmm… sure they were, Joyce," Buffy looks over her shoulder for the first time. "Every client sends _red roses_ as a gift. Right." Buffy smiles an unpleasant smile. "You might be able to fool the squirt, but not me. Something's going on, and I'm gonna find out what. And… gee, wouldn't daddy just be so interested in that?"

"Buffy, I'm sorry you're father is …less than perfect. I'm sorry I had to tell you about it. I know it hurts, honey. But, if you think that making up wild stories about me is going to make a difference, it won't. Tell you're dad whatever you think. I've got nothing to hide." _Liar! Liar, liar, oh, and … liar!_

Buffy is taken aback a little at Joyce's calm. But she doesn't give up the bluff.

"We'll just see, won't we?"

"Good night, Buffy," Joyce, without any further ceremony, leaves.

Buffy lays her head back down, angry and frustrated.

_Cool move, Summers. Now you're grounded forever. And, you're little bluff didn't work, either. She didn't flinch._

_Still, I know something's going on. Something's not right. She's not acting like herself… not like mom… something's really wrong with this picture… I just gotta find out what…_

_Yeah, and how're you gonna do that, anyway? You're grounded, remember?_

_Not like I haven't snuck out before, right? Maybe we'll just follow mom on one of these little ' client meetings' she's always having. Maybe we'll catch her doing something. Maybe we will._

She smiles an evil little smile. _Yeah, then we'll see what's what around her. Things will change… or…_

Buffy just smiles.

4

Joyce, after having a long talk with her younger daughter, enters her bedroom, feeling washed out. She lays down on the bed, and sighs heavily.

_God, just what I need! Buffy being suspicious. Now she's going to be watching my every move. _

She looks the cell phone. It's still open, having put it down just after dialing Faith.

_Maybe I shouldn't call her. I mean, if Buffy's going to be playing detective, I don't need to hand her ammunition, right?_

_Ok, now you're paranoid, Joyce. Buffy's in her room. She can't hear you in here, and she can't overhear your conversation on the cell phone._

Joyce dials Faith's number, waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

" Hi, Faith. It's me."

"Joyce! Oh my god! I thought something happened to you! Are you all right?"

" Yes, I'm fine. Just, my darling daughters decided to play WWF wrestling, and I had to break them up."

"Oh, man!" Faith sounds sympathetic. "Did they hurt each other? Are they ok? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, everybody's fine. Just, I'm the mean old mom from hell, because I grounded the both of them."

"Well, hey, what did they expect, you know?" Faith comforts her, "I mean, fighting and all?"

"Yeah."

Faith catches the tone. "Hey, you really did the right thing, you know?"

"I know, "Joyce agrees, reluctantly, "just sometimes I wish that I'd had boys…" Joyce sighs. "They've got to be easier."

"I'll let ya talk to my mom. I'm sure she'd agree with you…" Faith's tone gets a little bitter.

"Oh, honey, I don't mean you."

"No, sorry. Just, I know where you're coming from, but I kinda get where they're coming from, too. I mean, all of this has to be rough on them…"

"It's rough on me too, Faith," Joyce sounds a little angry, "think I like punishing my daughters?"

"No, of course not," Faith tries to pull her foot out of her mouth, "sorry, sometimes the mouth takes off before my brain kicks in…"

"God, listen to me!" Joyce berates herself, "you didn't do anything, and I'm just being touchy. I know you're just trying to help. You just don't understand what it's like raising a couple of teenage girls…"

"Yeah, you're right, I don't," Faith has an odd tone in her voice. "Sorry again."

"God, I didn't mean … I'm really screwing up tonight. Maybe I should just go before I make you hate me too…"

"No! I'm sorry. I'm giving advice on stuff I don't have a clue about. That's just me, interfering again."

Joyce feels like crap. _God, can I just get a break here? Why am I messing everything up? _

"Look, really, maybe I should just go. I'm too wound up and cranky to be good company tonight, Faith."

"Joyce, please talk to me. Ok? I'm sorry, I won't like stick my nose in; I'm just here to listen…"

"Faith, I know. I love you for that, but really, tonight I'm … I just can't. I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah, ok, Joyce…"

"Ok, sleep well, honey. I love you."

"I love you too."

Joyce hangs up. Putting the phone on the nightstand, she turns off the light. She tries to snuggle into the sheets, hoping to sleep and shut out the day. But she can't get comfortable, and winds up staring at the ceiling.

_She was just trying to help. Why did I cut her off?_

_She can't understand. I know she means well, and I wish she could. But until she has daughters of her own, she just won't get it._

_And… how is that going to happen? Considering? Nice move, Joyce. Nice._

Joyce rolls over, and pulls the covers over her head. Despite her best efforts, she feels tears stinging her eyes.

_I hate this. I hurt Buffy, Dawn and Faith tonight. Perfect, just perfect. I'm so useless. _

_I wish I could just run away and never look back._

_I'm such a moron._

Faith closes her phone, and sighs.

_Good going, Faith. You're the expert on anything… how? God, can't you just keep your mouth shut? Once?_

_Still, I wish she'd trust me enough to lean on me, just a little. Doesn't she get it? I'm here for the long haul. I want to be there for her, if she'd only let me._

_Yeah, that's going to happen. Right._

_She's never going to let me in. _

_Never._

5

Breakfast the next morning was a tense affair. There was a definite chill in the air, having nothing to do with the weather.

After muttering a rather curt greeting, Dawn headed for the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, pouring cereal and milk into it. She walked into the dining room and sat down, stirring the cereal around in the bowl.

Buffy didn't even bother with that ceremony this morning. She took one look into the dining room, said "Forget this" and started for the front door.

"Buffy, you have to eat some breakfast," Joyce called out to her.

"I'll grab something on the way," Buffy said as she was going out the door. "I'm late…"

"Don't you want a ride?"

By that time, the front door had slammed, and she was gone.

"Well, that was rude…"

"I gotta go too," Dawn stands up, grabbing her bowl and heading for the kitchen.

"Dawn? Don't you want a ride to school?"

"I really rather walk, mom," Dawn walks to the front door.

"But…"

"Bye mom," Dawn is out the door before Joyce can say anything more.

Joyce stares briefly at the closed door, then looks down at her own breakfast. She suddenly feels a little sick. Picking up her plate, she heads for the kitchen.

_Well, it's official. I'm the world's worst mom. _

_And, Faith is probably angry with me, too._

_This is going to be a heck of a day._

"Nice one, Buffy!"

Dawn finally catches up to her older sister at the steps leading into Sunnydale high. She looks a little out of breath, and a whole lot angry.

"What? You like my blouse?" Buffy mocks her gently. "Not too slutty?"

"Don't play dumb, Buffy. You know what I'm talking about!"

"Actually, brat, not a clue," Buffy dismisses her with a shrug, starting up the steps.

Dawn grabs her arm.

"Why'd you tell mom I started that fight?"

"Well, you did, didn't you?" Buffy gives her a withering look.

"_I_ did ! That's so wrong! I only came in your stupid room because you were playing your music so loud it was impossible to think, never mind study."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. You're perfect. You never get mad and throw a tantrum and run to your room, cranking up the tunes to like, mind numbing? Gimme a break, Dawn!" She smirks at her sister. "At least I never came in your room and tried to break your stereo!"

"You only did it because you were like already in trouble, and wanted me to get in trouble, too!" Dawn blurts out, "you're such a bitch, just cuz you screwed up, you don't want anyone else happy, either!"

"Oh, please! Get over yourself, Dawn. Like I care what you do?" Buffy makes an annoyed face. "You think you're so cool, but you're a geek, just like your friends. I wouldn't waste my time on you, except you keep getting in my face. Go away," Buffy turns her back, starting up the stairs.

"No!" Dawn runs up the stairs, blocking Buffy. "This isn't over!"

"This is so over, Dawn," Buffy pushes her aside. "And a tip? I didn't tell mom anything. She played you, Dawn. She knew you'd cave if she said I said you started it, and well, guess you did huh? So, guess you gotta be pissed at yourself now, moron."

Buffy enters the building, leaving Dawn to stew on the steps.

A little back, Cordelia has been watching the whole thing, and smiles. _Well, well. Looks like there's trouble in Summersland, huh? Guess sister unity just took a header. Now, isn't that interesting?_

Cordelia starts up the steps, and stops the fuming Dawn.

"Hey, Skipper. Looks like you and Barbie are on the outs," She leans in a little closer. "Guess you better watch your back, girl. Doesn't look like big sis gonna do it anymore."

"Shut up, Hodelia. Nobody asked you!" Dawn snarls at her.

"Well, looks like Skipper is all pissy. Too bad, baby. I'm so gonna enjoy making your life miserable." Laughing, Cordelia walks away.

Dawn stands on the step, fists balled up, flush creeping up her neck.

"Hey, Dawnster! What's up?" Xander, flanked by Willow, comes up to the youngest Summers. "What did the wicked witch of Sunnydale High want?"

Dawn, face blotchy, eyes brimming with tears, looks at him like he's not there. " Nothing!" She almost cries out, then turning, runs up the stairs and through the entrance.

"What did I say?" Xander, looking puzzled, turns to Willow.

Willow shrugs helplessly.

"I dunno, Xan. But maybe you should go after her?"

Xander, though a senior, is still somewhat confused about the female animal. What makes him unique? He admits being confused. He hesitates, not sure what to do.

"Go, Xander," Willow gently pushes him along. "Despite the weirdness, I'm thinking she really needs you right now."

Xander, knowing better than to go against Willow's instincts hurries off, following Dawn into the school.

Willow watches him go, a little smile playing on her face.

_Poor Xan. He's so in for it. I don't know the details, but I got the general idea. And he's … so sweet, but sometimes a little clueless. I hope he doesn't mess it up too badly._

Willow adjusts her shoulder bag, and enters the school.

Xander finds Dawn leaning against the lockers, kicking them idly with her heel. She's staring down at the floor.

"Dawn?" He asks, before approaching. "Are you ok? Did I mess up or something? Are you upset with me?" He stands a couple of feet away, in case she comes out swinging.

Dawn looks up at him, and tries very hard to smile. But she can't quite do it, and her lip begins to quiver.

"Not mad at you," She says softly, almost inaudibly.

"Dawn, what is it?" Xander gets closer, "can I help?" He reaches out, and puts a hand on her shoulder. "I mean, I'll admit, not so good with the girl stuff, or relationship stuff, or … well, any of the emotional stuffs, but I can listen…"

"Oh, Xander!" Dawn cries, suddenly wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. "It's just so screwed up. Everything is so screwed UP!" She says into his chest.

She starts to cry, not caring what anyone thinks or says.

Xander, somewhat confused, and oddly pleased, that Dawn finds some comfort in his arms, slowly brings them around her. He pats her on the back, gingerly.

"There, there," He says, looking more lost than she does. "It's going to be ok. I promise."

"It's going to be fine."

6

"Ok, this is just ridiculous!" Joyce exclaims, frustrated.

There is a pile of art catalogues on her desk, and a couple open in front of her. She's feeling somewhat annoyed.

She's working with a decorator who's refurbishing a mansion in the Sunnydale Heights area. He's looking for a series of pieces, all tied to a particular style he's doing the mansion in. So far, finding what he wants has been less than successful.

_If he weren't such a fussbudget, there are a number of pieces that work. But he wants them to be 'just so', and it's not happening. God, this is a lot harder than I thought it'd be when I agreed to do this. He's simply going to have to adjust his expectations a little._

Sighing, she closes the art catalogue. _Nice excuse, Joyce, but you know it's also because of last night. Never mind you got like 30 minutes of sleep, and your eyelids feel like sand encrusted lead this morning. Or that you can't keep your mind on things. But you've GOT to concentrate. This is your business, Joyce. If you don't start giving it more attention…_

She hears something plop onto her desk, and she looks up.

On the desk, leaning on the art catalogue is a rose. A red, long stem rose.

"What in heaven?" She picks up the rose, and brings it up to her face to look at.

She hears another plop. Another rose has appeared on her desk.

She cocks her head, and reaches for the second rose. Just as she's pulling back her hand, another rose comes flying through the air, and lands on her desk.

"What's going on?"

Another rose joins it, then another and another. She looks up in time to see a number of roses heading for her desk. She stands up, not sure if to laugh or be afraid.

Then a familiar face, attached to a familiar body, appears in her doorway, leaning against the doorjamb.

"Faith! What're you doing?" Joyce tries to sound stern, but starts giggling when Faith throws the last of the roses on her desk, grinning broadly. "What is all this?"

"Heya, cutie," Faith almost swaggers in, stopping at Joyce's desk. She picks up the roses loosely in both hands and lets them fall back on the desk. "After last night, I thought you could use a little cheering up. So I gotcha some roses. Like em?" She grins mischievously.

"They're uh…" Joyce stands there, feeling a little foolish, and grinning. _How does she do that?_ " They're lovely. But, most people bring them in a vase, or a box, or something..."

"Yeah, but what fun is that? I mean, I thought this was a whole lot more fun, ya know?" She gestures over the desk, and the chaos of roses on it.

Joyce feels a little consternation mixed with a whole lot of pleasure. She shakes her head, but can't help the big grin on her face.

"Yeah, now that's what I like to see. My woman smiling." Faith grins. She comes over, and gives Joyce a small soft kiss on the lips. "So, how are ya, babe?"

Joyce feels the familiar tingles running through her. _She is shameless. Full of her self, and shameless. Cocky, full of herself, and shameless. God, I love her!_

"Better now," Joyce says, heart doing a fast tattoo in her chest. "Now that you're here."

"Yeah," Faith winks at her, "I got that effect on women. It's a gift."

"My, aren't WE full of ourselves today?"

"Hmmm, well I got a reason, ya know. I charmed the pants off that Dean of the art school at UC Sunnydale…." She reaches in her pocket, and pulls out a letter, "… and I got this today." She hands the letter to Joyce.

Joyce opens the envelope, and pulls out the letter. She begins to read it.

" Dear Ms. Lehane," Joyce looks up, "That'd be you…" She read some more, and then gets to the important part, "… we're happy to inform you that application for admission to the college of Art at UC Sunnydale has been accepted, and …" Joyce looks up, smiling broadly. " Oh my god! You got in! That's wonderful, Faith!" She impulsively grabs Faith and kisses her. It's a long, and rather wet, kiss.

"Hmm… really got to get more of these admission letters, if this is your reward." Faith chuckles when the kiss breaks.

"I knew you could do it, Faith! I knew it. I know you're talented, and if you applied yourself, you'd get in. I'm so proud of you!" Joyce gushes a little.

Faith cups Joyce's face with her palm. "You always did, didn't you? You believe in me," Faith turns serious. "I mean, the other people I knew, thought it was just like… nothing, but you…"

"I always knew you were special, Faith," Joyce goes quiet, and also serious, "you kind of scared me a little, at first, but even then, I knew you were special. That you could do anything you wanted to do, if you put your mind to it."

Faith pulls her in for a kiss. It's long and warm, with lots of passion behind it. Both women are a wee bit breathless when it ends.

" I want to celebrate, ok? I mean, you and me, together, on a date?" Faith looks at Joyce, hopefully. " there's this new place, the Jazz Spot, over on Adams. It's supposed to be swank and all… thought maybe…"

Joyce hesitates, thinking about what Buffy said last night. _What if she finds out? Then it'll be a total mess. _But, seeing the look on Faith's face, she melts.

"I really want to Faith, but … well…I dunno…"

"Aw, c'mon, Joyce, it'd be great, don't you think?" She sees the hesitation in Joyce's eyes. "Is this … is it about the girls?"

"Yeah, kind of," Joyce admits. "I sort of have them both on restriction, and well, not sure it's a good idea to leave them alone…"

"Joyce, look. I'm no expert here, believe me I know that," She tries to forestall protests, "but maybe it would be good for all of you if you…well, face it Joyce, you need a night off from them, and maybe if you show you trust them, they'll respond? I dunno… just a guess… you're the expert here…"

_This is stupid! Buffy's nearly 18, and Dawn is 16. I can't watch over them every minute of every day. And Faith is right. I need some time where I'm not mom. At least a few hours._

"Ok," Joyce agrees, "but this isn't going to be like the last date, is it? I like hamburgers, but really, kinda felt weird sitting in the car, eating them… then making out like a couple of teenagers after…"

"Hey, they were supposed to be the best burgers in town. How'd I know they'd have no tables to eat the burgers at? Anyway, this is a club. It's supposed to be top notch. Cool jazz, good food, hot woman… how can you resist?"

Joyce looks at the sexy hot woman before her, and sighs to herself. _That's my problem. I can't resist._

"Go close the door, Faith," Joyce says, her voice suddenly a little husky.

Faith looks at her, and smirks. "Someone's a little…"

" A lot. Now, close the door!" Joyce barks at her.

"Oooo… she's so butch," Faith chuckles, as she walks to the door, closing and locking it. She also lowers the blinds. She turns around, and chucks off her coat. "I like it."

Joyce walks over, and slips her arms around Faith, pulling her into a warm hug. Her hands wander down to Faith's firm ass, and she squeezes it, eliciting a soft sigh. She leans in and whispers in her ear.

"You better."

7

Buffy sits alone at lunch, munching on an apple.

She's not really enjoying it, despite being hungry. Everything is kind of tasteless right now.

_Well, out with the losers. This is turning out really great,_ she sighs, putting down the apple on her tray. _God, can it get worse? Now I belong like nowhere._

_I shouldn't have given Dawn such a hard time this morning, but damn, she just assumed I squealed on her. So typical. Really pissed me off. But she was probably pissed off too. Still she shouldn't have just figured I narked on her._

_Well, swell. I'm two for two. Mom hates me, and now Dawn can't stand me. God, was her shoulder covered with ice when I tried to talk to her or what?_

_Why'd she have to get so pissy last night, anyway? All I was doing was listening to my radio. Not like I had a lot of choices, you know? I'm trying here, really. And what do I get? More punishment._

_It's just not fair. It totally sucks. Not my fault that Mom can't make her marriage work. Why is she taking it out on me? Damn it, this really, truly sucks!_

She picks up her apple, and bites into it. She makes a face.

_This apple sucks, too._

She picks it up, and taking aim, tries to make it into the trash. She misses.

_Damn!_

She gets up to retrieve it, but is stopped by a familiar voice.

"Missed."

She turns and sees Cordelia grinning at her.

"Yeah, well, wasn't trying out for the basketball team, anyway," Buffy mutters, dropping the apple in the trash. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing really. Just didn't see you inside," She nods towards the cafeteria, "figured you might be out here."

"Yeah, well, not a lot of room in there. Kinda everywhere is taken up by one group or the other." She shrugs. "So I decided to dine al fresco."

"You could've sat with us, me and my crew."

"Yeah, maybe. Except what's her face… the blonde? She's always giving me looks like she'd be really happy if I fell over dead. Didn't feel like that."

"Yeah, I saw your fight with your sister this morning."

"Aw, that's nothing. That's just Dawn," Buffy waves her hand. "Who cares what she thinks?"

"I bet she can be a real pain in the ass," Cordelia says, solicitously.

"Only all the time. Comes with having a sister, I guess."

"Wouldn't know. Don't have one. Only child."

"Really? Must be cool. Sometimes wish I were an only child. Like, now."

"It's cool, yeah. But the parentals get weird ideas about you, have all these expectations."

"Tell me about it," Buffy complains.

"Oh-oh, trouble in Casa Summers?" Cordelia asks.

" Oh yeah. God, my mom is such a…" Buffy trails off. "Anyway, I mean like last night. All I was doing was playing my radio, and Dawn gets all upset and comes in and starts giving me a load. So, we get to arguing, and my mom comes in and damn, if she doesn't add to my grounding. I didn't do anything! Dawn tossed my radio across the room, and I get grounded. Is that fair?"

"Doesn't sound like it, " Cordelia says, sounding sympathetic. "Parents so suck."

"Oh yeah, no argument here."

"Hey, look. I got something that'll cheer you up," Cordelia smiles. "Big party. At the Alpha Mu Fraternity this weekend. It's gonna be totally the place to be. I'm going, wanna come along?"

_Man, figures. Great party, and I'm stuck being grounded._

"Can't, I'm grounded, remember?"

"Oh, c'mon. It's gonna be great. College guys, beer, dancing, it's gonna be a hoot. You gotta come."

"I want to, believe me. But I got busted when I snuck out the other night to meet you guys, and I know mom's gonna be watching me like a hawk." Buffy frowns. "If she catches me again, I'll be grounded til I'm 30."

"Oh, c'mon, she won't catch you again. You can get out. I do it all the time."

"Sorry," Buffy shrugs.

"Whatever," Cordelia's tone gets a little cold. "I thought you were cool. You seemed smart. Guess I was wrong, huh? Oh well, your loss. I mean, I was really thinking of maybe letting get on the cheerleading squad… but now…" She shrugs. "Really don't need losers on it."

"I'm not a loser. I'm just grounded."

"Yeah, well, prove it. Come to the party."

"I told you, I can't." Buffy moans.

"Well, guess that makes you a loser," Cordelia gets up. "Really don't need to be seen hanging with losers." _There's the hook, hon. Just swallow the bait like a nice little fish._

"Wait, wait." Buffy gets up, stopping her. _Damn it! I'm tired of mom ruining my life. So gonna go. Screw this goody goody stuff._ "When's the party?"

"Saturday night. We're gonna meet at the Bronze, then go from there. So, ya gonna show? Or …?" Cordelia trails off.

"I'll be there."

"See? That wasn't so hard," Cordelia lays her arm over Buffy's shoulder. She leans it. "Trust me, it's so gonna be worth it." She drops her arm, and gives Buffy a quick pat on the rear. "Seeya later, Summers." She starts off.

"Hey, about the cheerleaders?"

"After the party babe. Let's see how that goes, then I'll let ya know."

Cordelia walks off, grinning like the cat that just ate the cream.

_So easy. Now, we just gotta get her really nice and sloshed, and baby she's mine. Bet she's all sweet and tasty. Mmmm … getting wet thinking about it. Might have to give Harm a call later. _

Chuckling, she walks down the hall.

Buffy stands there, watching her go. _Ok, what was the butt pat for? Aw, forget it. Gotta figure what I'm gonna wear to the party. College party! Cool! So gonna go. Mom can't stop me from having some fun. So tired of all her rules and…_

"Hey, Buffy," Willow walks up alongside her. "What did Cordelia want?"

"Huh? Oh nothing," Buffy lies. _Yeah, I'm so gonna tell you, right?_

"You two seem to be getting kinda friendly," Willow's tone is doubtful.

"Yeah, Buffy," Xander walks up with Dawn." You kinda want to be careful there."

"Hey, it's nothing, ok?" Buffy gets a little defensive. "Just, if I want to do anything around here besides be a loser, gotta keep her friendly, ok?"

"Ok, ok," Xander puts up his hands. "Just trying to warn you."

"She's bad news, Buffy," Willow adds. "You can't trust her."

"She wants something from you. Once she gets it, she'll turn on you real fast," Xander agrees.

" Gee, thanks mom and dad, but I know what I'm doing, ok?"

"Knock it off, Buffy," Dawn says, "They're just trying to clue you in."

"Yeah, well, thanks. But I already got a mom and dad. Don't need another set." She glances at her watch. "Gotta motor, or I'll be late to class. Seeya"

Without another word, she takes off towards the classrooms.

"What's her deal?" Xander says, watching her go. "what's with the 'tude?"

Dawn shrugs. "It's Buffy. Who can figure her?"

"Well, she better be careful," Willow warns, "Cordelia is totally evil. She'll use her, and then dump her. Probably humiliate her too. She's…" Willow makes a face.

"Sounds like you have Cordelia issues," Dawn teases her.

"Yeah, well, if you're alive and go to this school, you've got Cordelia issues," Xander backs up Willow.

"Uhhh … Xander?" Willow says, as the three start towards class. "How can you not be alive and go to this school?"

"Huh?" Xander says, "you know what I mean!"

"Sure, Xan," Willow grins. She reaches up, mussing his hair. "That's my friend. Cute, not too bright."

Dawn and Willow share a laugh. Xander turns a nice shade of red as the trio head for class.

8

"Hurry up, girls. Dinner's ready."

Joyce calls for the girls as he moves around setting plates down for them. She's dressed in a black cocktail dress, covered by an apron.

Buffy and Dawn troop into the dining room, neither looking particularly happy. They each move a plate so they don't have to sit next to each other. Joyce notes this, and a frown appears on her face.

_They're still angry at each other. This doesn't make sense. Sure, they fight a lot. Sisters do that. But usually they make up pretty quickly._

"What's going on, mom?" Dawn asks, sitting down. "Why're you all dressed up?"

"Yeah, mom," Buffy adds, "gotta date?"

"It's nothing like that, Buffy," Joyce, despite her resolve, feels her lips tighten. "I have a client I'm taking to dinner this evening. It could mean a lot for the gallery."

"Oh yeah," Buffy gives her mom the once over, "gotta advertise the biz." She looks down at her plate, smirking.

Joyce closes her eyes briefly, counting to 10. Then to 10 again.

Dawn, feeling the tension building, tries to avert it. "So, mom, where were you going again?"

"There's a new club in town called the Jazz Spot. The client wanted to go there. I felt this would be more appropriate for a club atmosphere."

Buffy doesn't say a word. However, a somewhat rude snort is made from her direction.

"Was there something you wanted to say, Buffy?"

"Me?" She looks up, eyes wide. "Nope." She looks back down at her plate.

"Buffy…" Dawn sighs, shaking her head.

"What, squirt? I didn't say anything."

"Well, I want to say something. To both of you," Joyce decides to head this off before it gets out of hand.

Both girls look at her.

"Look, I'm aware that things have been a little strained here over the last couple of months, and I want to try to see if we can't find a way to alleviate it," She turns to Buffy. "I know this has been particularly hard on you, honey. And I'm sorry, but it was necessary. Still, I want to see if there isn't a way we can work this out, make things easier around here?"

"Sure. We could move back to L.A." Buffy looks at her mom.

"Buffy, you know that's not going to happen. You know why."

Buffy again doesn't say a word, just returns to her supper.

Joyce turns to Dawn.

"Any ideas, Dawn? Anything we can do to make things better?"

"Yeah. Can we trade in Buffy for a new sister?" She looks at Buffy out of the corner of her eye.

"Shut up, squirt," Buffy grumbles.

"Ok, that's enough. I want you two to let this go, and make up. You're both too old to be acting like 10 year olds."

Buffy and Dawn stare ahead of themselves, not looking at each other.

"Come on you two," Joyce prompts them, "you're sisters, and that's not changing while you're alive, so make up."

Both roll their eyes and sigh as if this were the most onerous task that had ever been asked of them.

"I'm sorry," Dawn mumbles. _That I didn't break your radio over your head!_

"Yeah, me too," Buffy mutters, not looking at her sister, "I'm sorry." _That you were ever born!_

_Oh, that was heartfelt._ Joyce looks at her two daughters. _God, how'd they ever get so stubborn? Must be from Henry._

"All right, see? That wasn't so hard," Joyce tries to put a good face on it, which falls rather flat. "Anyway, I know things have been hard on your both, and there's been some tension around here. I'd really like to work that out. So, I'm going to make you a deal, ok?"

Both look at her without comment.

"I have to go out. I'm going to leave you alone, but I'm trusting you to be on your best behavior. I want the dishes done, the living room straightened up, for you both to do your studying," this last directed more at Buffy than Dawn," and then go to bed. If you do that, without fighting with each other, then we'll talk about rescinding your groundings."

"Really?" Dawn smiles for the first time tonight.

"Really?" Buffy's tone is somewhat more cynical. _Yeah, in what universe is that going to happen?_

"Yes, really," Joyce stands up. "Look, I know this move, me having to spend so much time at the business , and your dad being gone all week has been hard on you two. Things have been difficult, but I think we can work it out, make it better. I'm willing to try. How about you?"

Buffy pauses, thinking. _Scam. Totally. She's up to something. Still, it'd be nice not to be in Summer's prison for awhile. Sure, that's going to happen. Well, it won't if you have that 'tude. Just go along with, and what really can you lose?_

"Yeah, ok, sure," Buffy says.

"I'll try," Dawn chimes in, trying to trump Buffy. _No restriction means I can date Xander. Sweet._

"Ok, good," Joyce smiles, wanting to believe this might work. "Now, I've got to go. The number to the club is on the refrigerator, and you have my cell number, in case. You two _will_ be ok alone, right?"

"Sure, mom. Go do your business dinner thing," Buffy says, waving her hand. "Me and Dawnie will be just cool, right squirt?"

Dawn looks at her sister. _God, for once, Buffy, don't mess this up!_

"Yeah, we'll be great, mom."

_Why oh why don't I believe them?_ Joyce sighs. _Stop it, Joyce, give them a chance!_

" Ok, girls. I'm leaving. I should be home before midnight. It's a school night, so don't be up too late."

"Bye, mom," Buffy says, turning back to her meal.

"Bye mom."

Joyce walks to the front door, taking her coat out of the closet. She looks back at the girls, who are eating peacefully.

_God, please, nothing else, ok? Just let me have this one?_

She walks out the front door, closing it softly behind her.

9

Faith stands by the entrance of The Jazz Spot, waiting for Joyce to arrive.

Breaking into her stash of tip money, she'd bought herself a new outfit. Black chinos and blazer, and a lavender blouse. Around her neck was a symbol of her catholic upbringing; a small crucifix on a thin gold chain. She'd polished her boots to a high gleam, and a small shoulder clutch completed the outfit.

She really wants this date to be special. After what happened in Salem, after the last little 'date' which wound up with them eating in Joyce's car and then making out like hormonal teenagers… _ok, that wasn't sooo bad… _she wanted this to be special. More an 'official' first date here in Sunnydale.

She has an ulterior motive. She wants Joyce to start feeling more comfortable about being seen with her. She doesn't want to press it; she knows Joyce is still gun shy about being together with her. On the other hand, she doesn't want to be 'the other woman' either. She wants something real with Joyce, someday hoping to overcome this game of hide and seek and coming out into the light with her.

_Don't get greedy, girl. Don't push it. Just make it nice for her. Let her feel comfy being with you. Being out with you. God, this is hard. I love her sooo much. I want to tell everyone she's my woman… Geeze, go country much, Faith? Get a guitar and gun rack and pickup, and you can start writing the songs. Geeze, chill. It's just a date…_

"Hey, you," A soft voice interrupts her thoughts, and she looks up to see Joyce smiling at her. " Thought for sure I was going to have to start jumping around to catch your attention."

"Sorry, Joyce, just wrapped up in my thoughts…" Faith feels a little heat in her neck, wondering how long Joyce was standing there, watching her. _God, that's embarrassing. Not even noticing._

"Well, I have to say you cleaned up nicely," Joyce says approvingly of Faith's outfit. She lays a hand on Faith's arm. "You look very nice."

"So do you," Faith says, admiring the way Joyce looks in her dress.

"Well, I wanted to look good for my girl."

Faith feels a little thrill go through her. She can't hear that enough. _My girl!_

Looking around, Faith slips her hand behind Joyce's neck, and pulls her into a brief warm kiss. Faith can smell Joyce's perfume mixed with her own natural odor. She feels a little light headed.

Joyce smiles as the kiss breaks, arching a brow.

"Did I say you could do that?" She asked coquettishly.

"No. Did you want me to take it back?" Faith looks at her, her eyes sparkling under the reflected lights of the evening.

"You better not," Joyce grins, then slips her arm through Faith's. "So, what's a girl gotta do to be taken inside?"

Smiling, Faith leads her into the club.

Hank Summers pulled his car into the driveway, and parked.

He didn't jump out of the car immediately, instead choosing to look out the window at the house in front of him.

_Home sweet home,_ he thought, _yet doesn't seem very much like home anymore. Never has been much of one for me._

He wonders for a moment if things could've been different. If maybe he'd really tried harder, things would've been better. _Maybe I should've made a real go of it. Tried to make this family work. Maybe found a way to be here more than…_

_Forget it, Hank. You didn't. You didn't try. Time for trying was before this all happened… and you couldn't care less, could you? You had it all, the wife, the family, the cute little mistress… you thought it'd go on forever._

_Then Joyce grew a pair, and decided to dump you, and you just couldn't have that, could you? Especially when it meant getting fired. Well, you fixed that good, didn't you?_

He looks at the house, seeing the lights in the windows. He doesn't feel any warmth, however. Only a chill. A coldness starting at his heart, and radiating out from there. He opens the car door, and grabbing the packages on the seat, gets out.

_Let's just get this done,_ he sighs, walking towards the house.

Faith and Joyce, led by the hostess make their way to small booth in the back.

At the front is a stage, light by lights. Currently there is no band or combo playing; the fusion jazz was provided by recording over the sound system.

The club itself is dark, lit only by the discreetly placed blue gelled spotlight. The tables and booths each had candles, also shaded in blue.

The hostess weaves her way knowledgably to the back booth, avoiding collisions in the near darkness. She stops and waves at the booth.

"Here we go ladies. There will be a server around shortly to take your orders. Hope you enjoy the Jazz Spot."

Joyce sits, and then Faith follows , sitting close to her. The hostess hands them menus.

"Is there going to be a live band tonight?" Faith asks, looking at the stage.

"Actually, Thursdays are dark. The bands usually play weekends."

"Ah, thanks," Faith says, sounding a little disappointed.

"Will there be anything else?"

"No, we're fine, thanks."

Nodding, the hostess disappears into the gloom.

"Sorry, Joyce," Faith shrugs, "thought there'd be live music tonight."

"Don't be silly," Joyce smiles, straining a little to look at the menu," This is nice."

Faith grunts, a little disappointed. She opens the menu.

"Cozy," Joyce adds, pulling the menu closer.

"It's damned dark. I can barely make out the menu." Faith chuckles, shaking her head. "I thought this would be a little classier than the last place…"

"Faith, it's fine," Joyce turns to her, smiling. "I'm with you, that's all that matters." She reaches out, taking Faith's hand and squeezing it reassuringly. "I can see you, that's all that matters."

Faith feels a warm flush suffuse her body. She smiles at Joyce.

"Good evening, my name's Shelly. I'll be your server this evening."

The waitress seems to appear out of nowhere.

"Can I get either of you a drink?"

"I'll have a white wine spritzer," Joyce says, smiling at the waitress. " Faith?"

"What's on tap?" Faith asks Shelly.

" Michelob, Bud, Heineken, and Black Forrest."

Faith pauses for a moment.

"Do you have Sam Adam's Black Lager?"

"No, only the Pale Ale or Boston Lager"

Faith sighs, and orders the Pale Ale.

"I'll need to see some ID, please," Shelly looks at her.

"I'm 21."

"I can't serve you without it, sorry."

Sighing, Faith opens her clutch, pulling out her wallet. Digging through it, she pulls out her Massachusetts license. She hands it to Shelly.

Shelly's brow furrows. "Don't you have California ID?"

"I just moved here recently. I haven't had time to get a new license."

Shelly looks at the license carefully, then, satisfied, hands it back.

"Are you ladies ready to order?" She indicates the menus.

"We'll order when you return with the drinks," Faith interjects, then turns to Joyce. " That ok?"

"Yes, fine. I haven't made up my mind yet…"

"Very good. I'll be back shortly."

Faith takes her ID, and starts to return it to her purse. She shakes her head, and sighs.

"Something wrong?"

"Just thought I'd be done being carded. Makes me feel like a kid." Faith chuckles, putting her license back in her wallet.

"Don't worry, Faith. Enjoy it while it lasts. Soon enough you'll be like the rest of us old ladies who never get carded." Joyce's tone is mildly mocking.

"What old ladies? I don't see any old ladies at this table," Faith slides over closer to Joyce. She leans in. " Just a sexy hot woman I can barely keep my hands off of." She leans in, and kisses Joyce on the neck.

"Faith!" Joyce hisses, but gets all tingly and quivery. "Behave!"

"Can't help myself," Faith mumbles, her lips on Joyce's neck. Her hand seems to land on Joyce's knee, and starts a slow slide northward.

"Faith!" Joyce flushes, getting much more tingly now, "what're you doing?"

"Hmmm… kissing you?" She licks Joyce's neck, causing Joyce to shiver. Her hand moves farther up Joyce's thigh.

"Your hand," Joyce breathes, getting a little warm. Too warm.

" Right here," Faith holds up her free hand, waggling it.

"Not that hand," Joyce growls playfully. She's already become rather stimulated by Faith's advances.

"Oh, you mean this one," She squeezes Joyce's thigh high up.

"Yes… stop it," Joyce chides her, " The waitress will be back any second …"

"Hmmmm…" Faith sits up, but leaves her hand on Joyce's thigh.

"You're hand, young lady!"

"How can she see anything?" Faith smirks, moving her leg closer to Joyce's. "Unless you let her know?" She rubs her leg against Joyce's.

" Here we go, ladies," Shelly places their drinks on the table. "Are you ready to order?"

"Oh yeah, I'm starving," Faith smiles at Shelly. "I'll have the Sirloin, medium rare, baked potato, butter and chives, and the baby carrots."

"What can I get for you?" She turns to Joyce, smiling.

Joyce by this time is blessing the darkness, which hopefully is covering her flush, which she is almost convinced is glowing by now. Faith's fingers have been getting frisky, and she's having a hard time concentrating on food.

"Ummm… what do you suggest?"

"Well, the Crab legs are very nice. Fresh, moist and tender. They come with a nice, spicy garnish." Shelly suggests.

She's a little puzzled when Faith chuckles, and she hears a light groan from Joyce.

"Oh, maybe you'd prefer meat?" She asks, " The Chicken Marseille is very nice, and has a very nice cream sauce."

"Maybe I'll just have the steak, also. Rice pilaf, asparagus."

_Why didn't she just say that in the first place?_ Shelly wonders as she scribbles the order on her pad. _And what was so funny?_

"Will there be anything else?" She recovers her smile.

"No, that'll be fine for now."

Shelly leaves, heading towards the kitchen.

Joyce quickly stops Faith's hand by clamping her thighs tightly.

"Faith, stop it! You're being evil now!" Joyce complains, feeling more than a little flustered.

"Really? So who's got whose hand caught between her thighs, hmmm?" Faith asks innocently.

Joyce's thighs spring apart, freeing Faith's hand.

"I swear, Faith McKerrigan, if you weren't so…" Joyce sounds exasperated. Yet, somehow she can't get the girlishly pleased note out of her voice.

"What?" Faith says softly, leaning in and nibbling on Joyce's ear. Her hand moves up to Joyce's underwear, and she gently strokes her sweet V.

"Oh, goodness," Joyce sighs, feeling a little helpless and very turned on.

Faith chuckles as her fingers slip under Joyce's panties, gently stroking Joyce's now wet slit. Her fingertip slides easily over the damp folds.

"Someone's very, very wet," Faith breathes into Joyce's ear. She lips her fingers into Joyce's vulva.

"Why do you think that might be?" Joyce pants heavily. She's pretty much given up any hope that Faith is going to behave, and just hopes she can keep from embarrassing herself.

"I dunno…" Faith grins, sensing Joyce's surrender. Her finger slips inside Joyce.

Joyce gasps softly, feeling her whole body begin to flush with blood and heat. Her juices begin to flow freely.

Faith slips her arm around Joyce's shoulder, covering Joyce's mouth with her own as she enters into a passionate kiss with Joyce.

Tongues dance merrily between the women, punctuated by moans as Faith find's Joyce's clit with her finger, and begins to stroke it.

"Faith, you gotta stop… I'm going to… oh goodness… I'm going to cum if you don't stop," Joyce says into Faith's mouth between moans.

However, it's beyond too late as Joyce feels her body shivering as an orgasm rips through her body. It takes her whole will not to let out a scream. As it is, she lays back in the booth, leaning heavily against Faith.

Faith laughs softly, holding Joyce close as she feels her hand drenched in Joyce's love honey. She gently withdraws her hand, and bringing it up, licks it clean in front of Joyce, making Joyce shiver in desire, and a little lust.

"God, what you do to me!" Joyce's voice is husky and low. "I gotta go clean up now. You're very bad, you know that? Very, very bad."

Faith smiles, licking her lips of Joyce's musky sweet taste.

"Maybe. But I'm thinking you love it."

_God, yes! _Joyce thinks as she slips out of the booth, _but damned if I'll tell you._

"Want me to come with?" Faith asks, all innocence." I could help you clean up…"

"Oh, no, I think you've done quite enough, thank you!" _I can just imagine how you'd help! Oh, no… don't EVEN go there, Joyce!_ "I'll be back."

She scurries away before Faith can even get another word in.

Faith watches her disappear toward the ladies room, smiling big time. She sniffs her fingers, licking them to get another taste.

_Well, maybe after dinner. Maybe for dessert…heh._

Joyce enters the bathroom, and almost back out when she sees Taylor standing by the mirrors, adjusting her makeup.

_Oh, great! What's she doing here! God, do I smell like sex? God, maybe if I can just get past her…_

"Joyce!" Taylor, seeing Joyce in the mirror, turns around, smiling. "What're you doing here!"

Before Joyce can duck out or around the young woman, Taylor has her in a hug.

"Ummm… here with a client," Joyce says, breaking the hug. " They wanted to come here, so … here I am!" She swallows hard. "What're you doing here?"

"Oh, well, Billy wanted to come. He's into Jazz, and all. Me, not so much. He's a little disappointed there won't be a live band tonight." She smiles a little dreamily, "Anyway, it's nice and romantic…" She notices for the first time Joyce's slightly flustered demeanor. "So, a client, huh?" She leans in conspiratorially. "Is he like, cute?"

Joyce, already a little disconcerted running into Taylor here. _This is great. If she finds out who I'm with…_

"Taylor! It's just a client. This is business."

"Mmmm… still, it's a nice place, and very romantic, and you're very attractive, Joyce…"

"I'm married, Taylor…"

"That doesn't mean you're blind is it? Is he hot? Like that Dutch guy that came over last month. He was sooo hot!" Taylor blushes.

"Is this the same shy girl that was so thrilled by Billy's proposal say… less than a week ago?"

"I'm still thrilled. But just because I'm going to marry Billy doesn't mean I have to be blind deaf and not notice hot guys, right? So, is he hot?"

"Taylor, I really don't think it's inappropriate to discuss a client's … ummm… hotness… don't you?" She pats Taylor on the arm, getting up. "And I'm married, so I have to be blind, deaf and unaware of such things."

Joyce heads for the stalls, hoping Taylor will be gone by the time she gets out.

However, Taylor follows her, and stops her before she enters.

"Taylor, please, I really have to …" Joyce nods at the stall.

"Ah , ok… can I wait? I need to talk to you…"

"Taylor, can it wait til tomorrow? I really need to get back to the client."

"Oh… sure, ok… I'll talk to you tomorrow then," Taylor smiles, turning back toward the mirrors.

Joyce feels bad, because she feels some genuine affection for the younger woman. But she needs to take care of her little problem, and then get back to Faith. She's been gone awhile as is, and talking to Taylor might keep her here longer.

Still, as she retreats to the stall , she has second thoughts. _C'mon Joyce, it must be important if she wants to talk to you rather than get back to her date. What would five minutes hurt?_

"Taylor, are you still out there?" She calls from the stall, readjusting her underwear.

Silence.

Exiting the stall, she confirms that she's alone. She walks over to the mirror, to check her own makeup.

_I wonder what it was she wanted to talk about?_ She feels a little guilt, but then dismisses it. _Must not have been too important, or she would've waited regardless, right? I'll talk to her first thing tomorrow. I'm sure it's nothing big._

Still, a little pall has been thrown over her mood, and she leaves the bathroom feeling a bit more sober than when she entered it.

"Well, mom said she would!"

Dawn and Buffy are in the front room, straightening up a little. It's obvious the two are at it again; you can tell by the somewhat angry looks they throw each other as each as they go about their tasks.

"And you bought that?" Buffy shakes her head as if she can't believe what she's hearing.

"What're you saying, Buffy? Mom's lying?"

"Not like she hasn't in the past. Not that far past. Like, last night, with you?"

Dawn mutters something as she picks up some magazines off the sofa and puts them on the coffee table.

"Didn't catch that, squirt. Wanna repeat it?" Buffy says.

"I said… that's what you say." Dawn says louder. "For all I know, you did say I started the fight."

"You're calling me a liar?" Buffy feels her neck flush red.

"Well…" Dawn says in a sing song voice, "If the Gucci fits …"

Dawn ducks just in time as a well aimed magazine goes flying by her head, hitting the wall behind the sofa.

"Hey!" Dawn frowns at her sister, and then looks over the back of the couch. "Now I gotta crawl back there and … where are you going?"

"To my room. I'm done here," Buffy heads towards the stairs.

"We're not done cleaning up yet."

"I'm done."

"But we still gotta clear the table and do the dishes," Dawn complains, "You're supposed to help me!"

Buffy shrugs," you seem to know it all, Dawnie. I'm sure you'll figure it out." She turns and starts up the stairs.

Dawn runs over, going up after her. "No way. You're not sticking me with all the work again, Buffy. You've gotta do your share. You're washing, I'm drying!"

"Yeah? Who's gonna make me?"

"I'm gonna make you," Dawn says, grabbing her arm.

"Let go of me squirt," Buffy shakes off her arm. "I mean, you really expect me to bust my butt helping you after calling me a liar?"

"I didn't call you a liar."

"You all but said it, Dawn. Forget it. You're on your own!"

"Like that's new?" Dawn growls at her.

"What're you talking about?"

"You're getting might cozy with a certain snarky cheerleader who'll go unnamed but it rhymes with Fordelia."

"Since when does it matter who my friends are, Bratticus?" Buffy stares at her. "Maybe I don't want to hang with those losers you call friends, you know?"

"Willow and Xander aren't LOSERS!" Dawn yells at her.

"Yeah, sure, you keep on thinking that, Dawn. And around graduation you'll be a member in good standing of the A/V club."

"Yeah, well, Buffy, at least I won't be sleeping with everything in a jock strap like you will if you keep hanging around with Cordelia!"

Dawn cups her mouth, eyes wide. _Oh god, did I just say that? Damn._

"What did you say, Dawn?" Buffy turns around, glaring at her. Her eyes are narrowed. "Did you just imply I was a slut?"

"No, no… Buffy, I meant Cordelia is… oh… damn…"

"Listen, squirt." Buffy descends the stairs, grabbing Dawn's blouse. "Just because Cordelia is popular, doesn't make her a slut. I was popular too, or are you saying I was a slut?"

Dawn, looking frightened, shakes her head.

"Just because that geek of a boyfriend of yours wouldn't know where to put it even IF he got the chance, doesn't give him the right to talk trash about my friends…"

"So, she is your friend?" Dawn suddenly grows angry. "Great. Did you know your friend threatened me today?"

"You're so full of it…"

"I'm not! Before school, after you were such a bitch…"

"Now you're calling me a bitch too?"

"No, but you were before…"

"What's next, Dawn? Gonna call me a Ho, too?"

"What's going on here?"

Both girls freeze mid word. They turn around in unison and look down the stairs to see Hank Summers standing at the foot, looking up at them.

"Daddy?" Buffy says, looking puzzled. _It's only Thursday, he's not supposed to be home today!_

" Daddy!" Dawn exclaims, running down the stairs. "You made it! You came!"

Dawn almost knocks Hank over, throwing herself in his arms. Hank laughs, and then, like when she was a child, lifts her and gives her a twirl.

"Well of course, when my little Punkin belly calls, saying there's trouble at home, I gotta come, you know!"

"But you told me you were busy, you couldn't make it! Not til this weekend, anyway…"

"Dawn called you?" Buffy, a little suspicious, comes down the stairs.

"Don't I get a hug?" Hank deflects the question.

Buffy trots down the stairs, giving her dad a long, hard hug. He looks down at her when the hug ends.

"Everything ok, buff-puff?"

"Sure, dad. Everything's peaches," Buffy is still suspicious. "Dawn called you?"

"Yes, she did. She said you and your mother were fighting," he turns to his younger daughter," made it sound pretty serious, too. Right Dawn?"

"What exactly did Dawn tell you, dad?" Buffy is looking at her sister, who's not looking at her.

"Just you and your mom were going at it hammer and tongs, and that I needed to come home to separate you." He looks around the house. "Where is your mother, anyway? I didn't see her car in the driveway."

"She's out…" Buffy says.

"Out?"

"With a client," Dawn adds, looking at Buffy. "She needed to talk business with a client."

Hank has the feeling something isn't being said here.

"Is that right, Buffy?" He turns to his eldest daughter. "She's out with a client?"

"That's what she said," Buffy smirks, heading down the stairs. "I think we need to talk, dad." She goes into the living room.

"What's going on Dawn?" Hank looks at Dawn, who's still on the stair. "Do you know what she's talking about?"

Dawn shrugs, and follows Hank, who looks somewhat confused, into the living room.

"Is something wrong with your food, Joyce?"

Faith has noticed that Joyce has grown somewhat quiet during dinner. As a matter of fact, she's been quiet since she returned from the restroom.

"No, it's fine," Joyce says, quietly eating her dinner. She seems somewhat distracted.

"Ok, Joyce, what is it?" Faith puts down her fork, looking at her. "What's bugging you?"

"Nothing," Joyce puts on a smile. "Everything's fine. You should finish your dinner, Faith."

"Joyce, not your daughter, ok?" Faith moves closer to her. "You've been quiet since you returned from the bathroom. What's up? Did something happen?"

"No!" Joyce insists. Then sighs. "It's Taylor, my assistant."

"Taylor? Did she call? Is something wrong at the gallery?"

"No, Faith, she's here, with her boyfriend."

"Oh. Here, here. You saw her on the way to the restroom, then?"

"Something like that, "Joyce nods, not wanting to get into it. "I told her I was here with a client. She assumed a male client, and I didn't disabuse her of that notion." Joyce peers out into the darkened room, trying to spot Taylor. "She and her date are out there somewhere, and well, frankly, if she sees me with you, it might be hard to explain…"

Faith sits very still, feeling slightly insulted, and slightly dirty.

_But it's cool to go to bed with me, right?_

_Stop it, Faith! She's in a difficult position here. You know she has to be discreet about this. She has a lot to lose here!_

_Right, and I don't have _anything _to lose, right? Never mind I left Boston and my so called life to be here, with her. I followed her across the country, and this is it? To hide in dark places, hoping not to be caught? That's what I get?_

_Calm DOWN! Think of her, and her situation, ok? You love her, right?_

_Right?_

_Yes, yes! Ok, ok, ok!_

"Faith, are you ok?"

Faith turns, and sees the worry and concern in Joyce's face, and her heart melts. _She loves you, dope. Just show a little maturity and patience!_

"Yeah, I'm fine. So… ummm… maybe it's best we leave separately? Want to go first? I'll hang back, pay the bill, and then join you outside?"

"That sounds good. See you outside," Joyce says, starting to get up out of the booth. Then she stops, slips back in the booth, and takes Faith's hand. "I really love you, Faith. I'm so sorry about this; I know it's not fair. But I promise, someday, it won't be like this." She leans in and kisses Faith's cheek, then gets up and is gone.

Faith watches her disappear into the gloom, and digs in her purse to pay the bill.

_Yeah, someday._

Faith emerges from the club, feeling the cool night air hit her face. She breathes in deeply; after the club's closeness, it feels good.

She looks right and left, and sees Joyce standing a little ways down the street, looking across at the small town square park. She moves to join her, struck by how small and alone Joyce looks, how lost. She feels an overwhelming desire to take her in her arms, and protect her. Make it all right for her.

Instead she comes up next to Joyce, and slips her arm through hers.

"So, now what, sexy? Your place, or mine?" Faith says in a mock sultry voice.

Joyce turns to her, smiling. It's a slightly sad smile.

"Actually, honey, I think we need to talk." She nods towards the bench in the little square across the street. " Join me?"

Faith nods, and they make their way across the street, arm in arm.

_'We need to talk.' Oh, that's never, ever good. Damn!_

Faith feels a leaden knot settle in her stomach where her steak was sitting relatively comfortably before. Her mouth starts to feel dry.

They sit, and for awhile, nothing is said. They only hold hands. Then Joyce turns to Faith, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

"You know how I feel about you, right?"

"Yeah, though of course, I don't mind hearing it again." Faith tries to keep it light, all the time her stomach is turning over slowly.

"I love you, silly. I love you a lot. More than I ever loved Hank."

_Yeah, well, considering? That isn't all that comforting, Joy._

"I love you too, Joyce. You know that."

"I know, Faith. You've more than proved that to me. That's what makes this so hard."

_Oh god! No! She's breaking up with me! She's going to dump me, again!_

"Uhhh… Joyce…"

"Just let me finish," Joyce turns to her. "I love you so much, I can't see my life without you in it. I really can't, because the light, the color, the good stuff? All that you give me. I want someday Faith, to walk hand and hand with you down Main street, proud for anyone to know you're my lover, you're my partner, you're my everything. I want that so bad I can taste it. It hurts having to do… this… this hiding in the shadows, because I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you and happy with you."

Faith bites her lip to hold back her tears. Her happy, joyous tears.

"Right now, however, honey, I do have to be discreet. I'm sorry about back there, but things are still strange with Hank, and I can't afford for him to catch us together. I might lose everything then; he could still take my daughters away from me. So, I need to be careful, and I need _you_ to be careful."

"I'm being careful, really, Joyce," Faith says, voice low. She's afraid to trust her voice too much.

"I know. But those flowers you sent to my home? And your showing up at the gallery? I love it believe me I do. But it's that kind of thing that could get back to Hank, and then…" She shakes her head. "I know this isn't easy for you, but I promise, someday things will be different…"

Faith looks at Joyce. Looks at her face, her eyes, as if trying to burn it all into her memory. She suddenly gets a chilling thought.

_But what if it's never different? What if that someday never comes? What then? Will we be here, doing the same thing, a year from now? 5 years from now?_

She pats Joyce affectionately on the knee, then rises.

"Where are you going, Faith?" Joyce asks, "I thought we'd …well, go for dessert…" She puts on a playful, sexy voice. "Don't you want dessert?"

Faith smiles at her warmly.

"You know what a sweet tooth I got, Joyce," Faith sighs, "But I'm thinking I'm gonna have to skip dessert tonight. I need to do some thinking, baby. About things, about what I want. Can't do that with you nibbling on me."

Joyce cocks her head, and her expression changes to a worried look.

"Faith. Did I say something wrong?"

"No baby. You're right. We gotta be discreet…" Faith kneels in front of her, putting her hands on Joyce's knees." Look, baby. I love you. I'm hopin' that's kinda obvious since I followed you across the country to be with you. I know you got a lot to lose, and you gotta be careful, and … well, honey, I gave up some stuff to be here. I was makin' something of my life. Slowly, sure, but I was. I gave up being in Boston, being with my friends, and what family still is speaking to me, to be here with you. I gotta do some thinking about what I'm looking for here, with you. You know? Cuz, I wanna be with you. I want that more than anything . I'd be the happiest girl in the world, if I could walk down Main street hand in hand with you. But I gotta know it's gonna happen, Joy. I gotta know it's gonna be real, and that you're gonna work for it to be sooner rather than later, you know? I need to think, and so do you. I don't have to be number one in your life; that's your daughters and I respect that. But I gotta be number two. I gotta be."

"You are, Faith. You are."

"I'm gonna do what it takes to be with you. You just gotta be sure that's what you want. Once you do, baby, it's gonna fall into place," She leans over, and kisses Joyce lightly and briefly on the lips. "I'm patient, baby. I'll wait for a long time, but not forever."

"Faith!"

"I gotta go honey. I'll call ya tomorrow. Maybe we can meet for lunch… away from the gallery."

"Faith, wait. Please, I…"

But Faith is already crossing the street, making her way back to the restaurant and her bike.

_Get UP! Go after her! Tell her everything is going to be ok, that you'll work it out, and that soon things will be better…_

_Will they? Really? Because right now, Joyce, things look…_

Joyce sighs, watching Faith's retreating form. She sits there, wondering what exactly went wrong tonight.

Wondering if it'll ever go right, be right?

Wondering if the night didn't just get a little bit darker?

She gets up, walking towards her own car. As she walks along, an old song by a rockabilly band known as CCR comes to mind.

_Well, I'm here to tell you now each and ev'ry mother's son  
You better learn it fast; you better learn it young,  
'Cause, "Someday" Never Comes."_

Joyce pulls into the driveway of the Revello Drive house, and at first the anomaly doesn't hit her. Her mind is still on the restaurant, and the talk after.

_Am I being fair to her? She's young, she should have a life, and love, and all the good stuff. Am I being selfish, holding her back? She could be so much, do so much._

_If you really love her, Joyce, you'll think about her. Not you, not what you want, but what she wants. What she needs._

_I just don't know. God, it's all so confusing. I just don't know anything._

She feels the tears begin to threaten again, just as they have been threatening all through her drive. She looks out the windshield at the car parked in the driveway, and then it hits her.

_That's Hank's car! What's it doing here? He's not supposed to be home tonight!_

A cold, icy feeling grips her stomach. _Oh, god! It's the girls! One of the girls got hurt! But, why didn't they call me? I have my cell…_

She looks through her purse, frantically, and for a moment, can't find the cell phone. _Where is it? Did I lose it? Oh god, what if one of them tried to get me and couldn't?_

Then she finds it, and finds it's on. She checks, but there are no messages.

_Ok, this is just getting strange now. No messages, no frantic calls. It's not one of the girls. So, why _IS _Hank here?_

She glances over at the house, noting the lights are out.

_Asleep. Everyone is probably in bed._ She checks her watch. _Past midnight, no wonder! Well, I guess the mystery of Hank waits until the morning, then._

Exiting her car, she makes her way up the walk, her mind still troubled by tonight.

_God, I'm so glad Taylor didn't see me with Faith tonight. If she had, and it somehow slipped to Hank, it'd be a disaster. We've got to be more careful._

_Yeah, and you might just careful Faith right out of your life!_

_God, doesn't this ever get easy?_

She slips her key into the lock, and turning it, lets herself in.

She stands briefly in the foyer, listening. All she hears are the sounds normal to the house at night.

_Thank god. I really wasn't up for another round of Hank. Tomorrow will be way soon enough._

She makes her way to the stairs, and is just starting up when a light goes on in the living room.

Hank is sitting there, in the chair, looking towards her.

"Joyce, it's after midnight. Where've you been?"

"Hank? What're you doing here? It's Thursday. You're never here on a Thursday."

"This is my house too, Joyce. I really don't have to explain myself to you. You didn't answer my question. Where've you been?"

"Didn't the girls tell you? I was with a client. Sorry, but it ran late."

"Yeah, it did. Very late, " Hank's voice is cold and distant. "And about that 'client'? I think we need to talk."

_Crap!_

Joyce turns and walks down the stairs, entering the living room.

To be continued.


	10. Chapter 10

Change of Seasons, Part 10a

1

Joyce pauses briefly in the doorway to the living room, looking at  
Hank. She feels her lips tighten in anger. Look at the smirk on his  
face. God, how did I ever think I loved that man?

"I don't know why you're here, Hank. But can't this wait until the  
morning? It's been a very long day." She leans against the doorjamb.

"No, it really can't wait. I drove up here from L.A. I want to know  
what's going on around here."

Exhausted, she walks over, and deliberately sits at the end of the  
sofa, as far away as she can get from him. She frowns.

"Ok, Hank, what's going on? Why're you even here? It's Thursday.  
What happen? Did your current slut throw you out?"

Hank ignores the comment. "I'm here because Dawn called me. She was  
afraid you and Buffy were going to kill each other. What exactly is  
going on here, Joyce?"

Joyce feels a slight twinge remembering the night she and Buffy  
slapped each other. But she covers it, and moves on the offensive.

"This is amazing, coming from you, Hank. I can't remember the last  
time you asked about the girls. When you're here on the weekends,  
you practically ignore them. And now you're all concerned?" Joyce  
shakes her head.

"I care about the girls!" Hank says defensively. The flush rises in  
his face. "I care about my family."

"That's a joke, right?" Joyce says, getting up. "The last time  
you 'cared' about your family was when you were about to lose a  
major account because they were family oriented business. The only  
thing you care about, Hank, is having your cake and eating it too.  
You only think about how to get into your secretary's pants," She  
gives him a disparaging look, "considering, that must take some  
planning. All you ever want to hear is that everything's fine; you  
don't EVEN bother to look beyond the surface, Hank. So, I'm finding  
it really hard to believe you really care now."

"Hey! I work hard! I put in a lot of hours. The last thing I want  
when I get home is a bunch of whining and moans about how this is  
wrong, or that is wrong. I need some peace. I'm just looking for  
some peace and quiet."

"And I don't work hard? Never mind, in addition to working long  
hours, I'm dealing with whatever comes along."

"You don't have to work, Joyce. That's your choice!"

Joyce laughs bitterly," Sure, Hank. I don't have to work, what with  
the money I don't see coming from you, exactly how am I to oh… pay  
the mortgage, the bills, put food on the table, make sure the girls  
have something to wear, and all the rest?"

"That's ridiculous, I give you money…"

" Right. 1500 dollars a month. Wow. Do you know how far that goes  
these days? Nowhere, Hank. Nowhere! You have two teenage daughters  
under this roof. That barely covers feeding and clothing them. I  
have to pick up the slack, Hank. That, and make the business go.  
Even as it is, it's tight. But without me working, we'd be starving  
here. So, don't give me that crap about how hard you work. I'm  
working hard here, too. A lot harder than you!

"Maybe if you budgeted more carefully, it wouldn't be a problem!"

"That's your answer? Budget more carefully? Ok, what do I cut out,  
Hank? The lights? The water? Maybe we can cut down on food, Hank?  
Maybe the girls won't mind shopping at the Goodwill, Hank. Do you  
think 1500 dollars a month can even begin to cover expenses? If so,  
you're pretty stupid, Hank!"

"I'm doing the best I can. Business has been down, lately…"

She just stares at him, not saying a word.

"What?" He asks, feeling defensive.

"There was a time, Hank, when I would've believed that. But that's  
long past," She frowns, crossing her arms over her chest. "This  
isn't working, Hank, and you know it. And I'm tired of pretending it  
is."

"What're you saying?"

"I'm tired of you ruining my life, Hank. I'm tired of you pretending  
to be a father, when you can't even be bothered to know what's  
really going on around here. You never EVEN asked that, did you? How  
Buffy's acting up again. How she's making it hard for Dawn, too. Did  
you ask WHY the groundings occurred? How I caught her sneaking in  
after being at a bar all night? Or how she started a fight with her  
sister? It's starting all over again, and you couldn't care less.  
All you can do is ride in here, pretending to give a crap, and make  
things WORSE!" She walks over to where the packages Hank brought  
with him are stored, and tosses them at him. "You can't buy them,  
Hank. You need to be here, as a father, when they need you. Not  
just when it's convenient with you. "

"I care about my daughters!" Hank reddens. "I told you, I have to  
work. Things have been down, lately. I can't just do a 9 to 5  
routine, and drive two hours every night to be here. It's just not  
practical right now!"

"When will it be practical, Hank? When you tire of the current  
girlfriend? Or after the next girlfriend? Or the next?"

Hank's face gets red, and he almost explodes out of his chair.

"I told you, Joyce, I'm working. I'm really busy right now…"

"And I told you the time when I would believe that story is long  
past, Hank. All you care about is trying to be the stud to your  
latest girlfriend. All you want is to be with her. Well, go ahead,  
be with her. Just don't be coming around here anymore!"

"Oh, really?" Hank stands, face red. "Look at the pot calling the  
kettle black? Exactly how have you been spending your nights lately,  
Joyce? Buffy seems to think your out running around…"

"What?" Joyce is flustered for a moment.

"Mystery men sending you flowers," Hank narrows his eyes. "Exactly  
what's that about, Joyce?"

Those flowers were a gift, Hank, from a client that was pleased with  
the help I gave him getting a rare piece of art he's been looking  
for. I suppose you've never had a grateful client give you anything?"

"Well, what about all these 'client' meetings at night?"

"That's a little strange, coming from you, Henry Summers," Joyce  
stares at him, hands on hips. "However, mine were legitimate. I have  
to meet the clients on their schedule, not mine. It was the only  
times I could meet the clients. Like, tonight."

"It's twelve in the morning, Joyce. A little late for a Client  
meeting , don't you think?"

Oh for god's sake, Hank. Not everyone is a cheating bastard like  
you! I'm starting a business here. It takes a LOT of time. YOU know  
that. How many all- nighters did you pull when you were starting in  
business? God!" Joyce storms away, exasperated.

She stand there for a moment, fuming. Then she turns back to Hank.

"That's it, Henry, this is over."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hank says, an edge to his voice.

"This, Henry. This sham we're playing. This so called marriage.  
It's over."

"I don't think so," Henry says, jaw tight. "Did you forget about  
certain pictures I have of you?"

"No, but maybe you forgot. I gave that up, for the girls.  
Strangely," She smiles tightly at him. "you didn't."

"You think a judge is going to care about that? You had a lesbian  
affair."

"True. I did. In the middle of divorcing you, while you were giving  
me a very difficult time, emotionally. Harassing me, extorting me.  
How would a judge view that, Hank?"

"I have a right to protect my daughters."

"And so do I!" Joyce leaves the room, returning in a few minutes  
with a thick envelope.

"What's that?"

"Well, you see, Henry, I took a page out of your book," She walks  
over, and opening the envelope, pulls out a file folder showing it  
to him

Picture after picture of him with various women, a number in the  
nude and in embarrassing sexual positions were in the envelope.  
Along with it were copies of receipts for credit card billings, for  
rooms, dinners, weekend trips.

"Where'd you get these ?" He smiles. He seems more interested in the  
pictures, than any implications they might hold. "God, I remember  
that. Exhausted for a week."

Joyce makes a disgusted noise. God, he doesn't even have the decency  
to be ashamed. And I'm surprised by that?

" I got those from Cheryl. Remember her? You're secretary? You slept  
with her, remember? Then dumped her?" Joyce leans a little  
closer. "You tried to fire her, after? Remember? And she hit you  
with the sexual harassment suit? The partners kept her on, to make  
it go away?"

"Oh, I remember Cheryl, all right. God, how could I forget her?"  
Hank sneers." Who would've thought I'd pick another cold frigid  
bitch to sleep with?" He leans in a little. "She's probably some big  
old dyke like you."

Joyce looks at him, feeling revulsion. "If she is, you're probably  
the one who turned her." She sees a flicker of anger in his eyes,  
and smiles.

"Well, if this is all you've got, you're screwed," Hank recovers  
quickly. "This is old news. And what judge is going to choose a  
lesbian dyke over a concerned father?"

"Well, you see, Hank, that's not all I've got." Her smile  
widens. "Seems you've been a naughty boy, Hank, in more than one  
way."

" What're you talking about now?" Hank dismisses her. "You know  
you've lost, and now you're desperate!"

"Am I?" She turns to him, a small smile on his face. "You know,  
Hank, you think you're very clever. But you really should be more  
careful about who you burn with your little affairs."

"God, Joyce, what're you talking about?"

"Funny thing is, I didn't go to her. She came to me," Joyce says,  
waving him off, "we used to be friends, Cheryl and I, before you're  
little affair. And, after a lot of drinks and some words, we are  
again. And she told me the most interesting story…"

"Just spit it out, Joyce!"

"I didn't even have a clue," Joyce ignores his impatience, "Guess I  
should've figured, you know? I mean, cheat on your wife, what does  
that say about your other dealings?"

"Quit playing games, Joyce!" Hank shouts, losing patience. "What the  
hell is this about?"

"This is about the two sets of books you're keeping, Hank. The one  
set you show the IRS and the partners, and the other, real books.  
The ones that show the actual earnings of the company. A little  
disparity there, Hank. Actually, a very large disparity." She pulls  
another folder out of the envelope. "you might want to look at this,  
Hank."

"What kind of insanity are you spewing now, Joyce?" Hank looks at  
her, a slight sneer on his face. He takes the other folder, looking  
at her," Are you sure you're not having some kind of episode or  
something? You're talking crazy." He shakes his head. Hank looks at  
the folder, his face flushing.

The color drains out of Hank's face. That's the only confirmation  
she really needs.

"You're delusional!" Hank yells at her. "You're mad, and you're  
making this up to try to hurt me, well, it's not going to work,  
Joyce. No one will believe you!"

"See, that's the thing, Hank. They don't have to believe me. They  
only have to look at the evidence Cheryl gave me, then take a close  
look at the books at your firm. Then, they'll know the truth."

Hank sits very still. The look on his face is one of disbelief,  
quickly covered with scorn. Hank looks at her, and sneers. Taking  
the file, he tears it up.

"Where's your proof now, Joyce?"

"Oh, those were your copies, Hank. I planned on giving you them  
this weekend, anyway, you just came home a little early. I have  
other copies, in a safe deposit box in my name. Along with the  
negatives and originals of the receipts…" She moves over to him,  
standing next to him. "It'll stay there. As long as you get out of  
my life. Mine and the girls."

"I don't believe you! You don't have any proof. You're making it  
up!" He stands, looking down on her. "It's my word against yours.  
They're never going to believe you. They'll know you're just  
jealous, just trying to hurt me." He convinces himself, if no one  
else. "No, you lose, Joyce. Not gonna happen!"

"Oh, it's going to happen, Hank. Unless you do what I tell you."

"I still have the pictures of you and your dyke girlfriend," Hank  
says, desperation in his voice. "I'll ruin you!"

"Ok, have it your way, Hank," Joyce turns away from him, moving  
across the room. " Do your worst. Just remember, I warned you. I  
wonder what your partners are going to do to you when they find  
out?" She looks over her shoulder for a reaction. "Probably call for  
an internal audit. Then, probably turn you over to the police for  
embezzlement. You know they're getting rather hard on white collar  
crime these days, Hank." She turns back to him. "And what will your  
daughters think when they find out their father's a thief?"

"You're my wife," Hank says, starting to sweat, "you can't testify  
against me!" Hank forces a smug smile on his face. "Too bad, Joyce."

"Ummm… no, you're wrong. I can't be forced to testify against you,  
Hank. Doesn't mean I can't volunteer."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"After what you've done to me? I think I would, Henry. Thing is,  
Henry, I've got all the cards, and you've got squat." Her lip curls  
in a sneer. "I'm divorcing you, Hank. And there's not a thing you  
can do about it. You see, I never rescinded the previous suit for  
divorce. And it's still active." She smiles coldly at him. "I was  
going to, but you went back to your old screwing around, Hank. So I  
didn't." She hands him another envelope. "There's a copy of the  
divorce papers in there."

He pulls them out. "These aren't any good. You'll have to refile."

"Actually, I won't. Look at the dates on the papers, Hank. They're  
good for a year from their issuance. It's only been 6 months." She  
points at the papers. "Sign them, Henry."

"I'm not signing anything!"

"Really?" Joyce shakes her head. " You're so worried about your  
daughters, Hank. It's almost touching, "Joyce has a sarcastic  
tone, "think of what your daughters would think if they saw those  
pictures, Hank. What do you think they'd feel about you if they knew  
what kind of man you really are?" She grins a twisted smile. "Think  
they'll visit you in prison, Hank?"

"That's so much like you, Joyce. Vindictive. You'd ruin my  
relationship with them because I found you cold and unresponsive."

"You're blaming me for you're whoring around Hank? I'm so  
surprised!" Joyce's tone takes a sarcastic edge. "Typical, Hank.  
Things don't go your way, so you blame everybody else for your  
failure. As a husband, as a father…" She turns away from him,"… as a  
man…"

She doesn't see the look on his face.

"You won't get away with this, Joyce. If you try to poison my  
daughters against me, I'll…"

"You'll what, Hank?" Joyce smiles a small, dismissive smile. "Screw  
with me, Hank, and I'll go to your partners with this information."

"I don't believe you!"

"Wonder how long Boscorp , your biggest client, would continue to do  
business with your company when they find out about your little  
affairs, Hank?" She turns to get his reaction. "or when they find  
out what a cheating, thieving bastard you are?"

Hank just glares at her.

"Now, sign them Hank, or I'm going to reveal what a scummy, immoral  
prick you are!" She slams the papers in front of him. "Sign them!"

Hank just stares at her, his eyes narrowed, his mouth a line across  
his face.

"Do it Hank," Joyce's face hardens, "Or tomorrow the world knows  
exactly what kind of man you are."

They stare at each other for a few moments, then Hank breaks the  
stare, looks down and pulling a pen from his pocket, signs the  
divorce papers. Joyce quickly retrieves the papers, and turns to put  
them away.

"Good," she says, as she walks towards the den," now, leave. I'll  
have my lawyer contact your…"

She stops dead when a lamp just misses her and crashes against the  
wall. Turning and ducking, she sees Hank behind her, right behind  
her.

SMASH!

He hits her directly in the face with his open palm. The force of  
the blow knocks her into the wall, stunning her. She slides down the  
wall. He walks over, and grabbing her by her hair, pulls her too her  
feet. Joyce screams.

"Listen to me now, you lousy, frigid bitch. You won this round, but  
this isn't over. Not by a long shot, Joyce. You better watch your  
back, because I'm going to make you pay."

He starts to slap her again, but Joyce instinctively kicks him where  
it hurts the most. He lets go, groaning and sinking to his knees.  
She starts kicking him.

"Get out! Get out NOW, you SON OF A BITCH!" Joyce screams at  
him. "GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE ON YOU!" She starts hitting  
and kicking him.

Hank, recovering, shakes her off, and back hands her again, knocking  
her back. He retreats to the front door.

"You just better watch it, Joyce."

He ducks through the front door, and slams it after himself. A  
minute later, his car is heard to roar to life, the tires screeching  
on the driveway as he leaves.

Joyce, feeling faint, still clutching the signed divorce papers in  
her hand, sinks to the floor, sitting heavily.

A few moments later, she hears Hank's car engine roar in the  
driveway. The screech of tires tells her he's gone.

Slowly, painfully she pushes herself up off the floor. Standing  
there, she feels woozy. She stumbles over to the dining room table,  
and sits heavily in the chair.

Head throbbing from the blows, she gingerly puts her head in her  
hands.

Now what, Joyce? Now what do you do?

The pain, the anger, and the frustration come to the fore, and  
before she can stop it, she's crying.

She doesn't know how long she spends at the table, shaking silently  
as the pain and hurt from the months since Salem come pouring out.  
I hate him! I hate that bastard! I should do it anyway! I should  
destroy him, for what he's done to me.

Then she pauses, drawing a breath. Slowly, her anger cools, and fear  
sets in.

And if I do, what'll he do to me? Or the girls? God, I can't… I  
can't risk he'd hurt them!

She feels the tears come again, and another round of body wracking  
sobs hits her.

Finally, she pulls herself together and wearily rises. She walks  
into the living room, and after straightening up a bit, more from  
habit than need, she douses the light and heads for the stairs.

She pauses at the first stair, remembering Hank's parting words. Her  
head feels worse; throbbing, and her eyes feel hot and scratchy and  
she can barely keep them open.

How the hell am I going to explain this to the girls tomorrow?

Making her way slowly up the stairs, she wonders if dead is her  
worst option.

2

The next morning doesn't find her feeling much better. Perhaps  
because she didn't get much sleep the previous night. The last thing  
she feels like doing is going to the gallery and making nice with  
the clients.

Right, and what choice do you have, exactly? She wonders, staring at  
herself in her vanity's mirror. She sees a tired looking, fortyish,  
unsmiling woman look back at herself. Her laugh lines are deeper,  
her eyes a little bloodshot, and … Oh, my god! Is that a zit? She  
sees the nasty little blackhead at the bridge of her nose, where it  
joins the brow line. God, I thought I left those behind in high  
school. Sighing, she takes a little additional base to cover it.

Well, at least Henry didn't leave any marks on my face. Good thing.  
I'd hate to have to explain those this morning. She sighs, shaking  
her head. Hard enough explaining the mysterious disappearing Hank  
Summers. I should have this down by now, though. Had lots of  
practice.

She knows soon she's going to have to tell the girls that she and  
Hank are divorcing. Again. There's no way to duck it, and anyway,  
she wouldn't try. She believes they have to know the truth.

Just, not today. Not this morning. She felt really crappy, and  
didn't feel like the emotional outburst that would result.

No, just tell them a lie. Not like you haven't done that before. She  
looks at herself in the mirror and frowns. I'm tired of lying. About  
Hank, about me, about everything.

Still she's not ready to tell them the truth. And they're not ready  
to hear it. Soon, but not now.

Just another lie. She walks to the door, pausing. One more stupid  
lie.

She exits the bedroom.

"When did he leave?" Buffy asks, looking at her mother  
suspiciously. "I didn't hear him go."

"Very early this morning, Buffy. He wanted to beat the traffic back  
to L.A."

"Why didn't he say goodbye at least?" Dawn chimes in. "He always  
says goodbye before he leaves."

God, I feel like I'm at the Inquisition here, Joyce sighs silently  
to herself.

"He didn't want to wake you, Dawn," Joyce says, "It was very early."

"Is he going to be back tonight?" Buffy asks.

"No, honey. He has to work this weekend. He's very busy at work."

Liar, Buffy thinks to herself, glancing at her mother. He wouldn't  
just leave like that. He said he was going to stay til he found out  
what was going on. Now he's gone? No, there's something else going  
on. Something she's not saying!

"Look, girls. We're going to have to get used to the idea that your  
dad isn't going to be around much for awhile. He's doing a major  
project at work, and won't be able to get home very much." God, lie,  
lie and lie some more, Joyce! "We'll just have to do our best to get  
along without him."

"But mom, didn't he talk to you at all, last night? About things?"  
Dawn seems confused, and disappointed. Hank had told her he'd talk  
to Joyce, make it right. Now it seemed that nothing was discussed.

"Yes he did, Dawn," Joyce turns to her youngest daughter. "I just  
wish you'd come to me before running to your dad, bringing him all  
the way here from L.A." She frowns a little. "We could've talked  
about this."

Dawn blushes a little, embarrassed. Buffy snorts.

"Is something funny, Buffy?" Joyce asks her, her tone not sounding  
too pleased.

"Just, when do we talk to you mom?" Buffy says in a slightly edgy  
voice. "you're gone most of the time, working or out with a client."  
Her tone indicated she wasn't buying either reason.

"And you think I'm out … how did your dad put it? … oh yes, running  
around with someone… that's what you told him, isn't it?" Joyce  
stares at her daughter calmly.

Buffy blushes, and doesn't say anything. Her embarrassment generates  
anger, and she grips her fists tightly.

"I'm sorry you don't understand this, Buffy. But I'm running a  
business," Joyce says to her oldest daughter. "That takes a lot of  
time. I don't go out with the clients socially… it's business."

"So what? Now we have to have an appointment to see you?" Buffy asks.

Dawn feels her stomach turning over. Shut UP, Buffy! God, just quit  
it!

"Of course not, Buffy, " Joyce lets a little exasperation creep into  
her voice. God, why does she have to make this so hard all the  
time? " But you've got to understand that I have to make this work!"

"Why? You don't have to work, mom," Buffy says, slightly surly. "You  
want to work. You like working, cuz then you can get away from us!"

"That's not true, Buffy Anne Summers, and you know it. Or would, if  
you weren't so much like your father," Joyce snaps at her.

"I'd rather be like him, than be like you!" Buffy says, getting  
up. "This is bogus. I'm out of here!"

"Sit down, Buffy," Joyce says, pointing at the table.

"No," Buffy stands, defiantly.

Joyce is beyond her limit. She stands, her face flushing red.

"Sit down now, Elisabeth Anne Summers. Now!" Her quiet voice is  
backed by steel.

For a moment, the two glare at each other, then Buffy backs down,  
sitting at the table. Joyce remains standing.

"Ok, I'd prefer not saying this, but I guess I really have no  
choice," Joyce turns away for a moment, thinking up something to  
cover the situation without telling them about the divorce… yet. "  
You girls are old enough now to know the truth, so here it is.  
You're father's company isn't doing so well. Right now it's a very  
difficult time for him, and he has to spend a lot of time there,  
trying to turn things around. He can't be here very much, if at all,  
until things are better," She looks at them. "Do you two understand  
that? That means, don't be calling him with home problems. He has  
enough to deal with."

"Ok, mom," Dawn says, quietly.

"Ok," Buffy says, still a little surly.

"That said, you have to know right now, money is tight. I'm doing ok  
with the gallery, so we'll be ok, but money is kind of tight. You're  
dad isn't able to give us as much as he used to. So, I need to work  
harder to make it up. That means long hours at the gallery, and  
sometimes, I have to do business dinners, simply to keep competitive  
with the other galleries. I know it's hard on you too. It's hard for  
me too. I want to be here with you guys, believe me!"

Sure, Buffy thinks to herself, sure you do.

"Look, I know it's hard on you guys. It's hard on me, too. I love  
you guys, and love being with you. Just right now, I don't have a  
choice. And, you two are old enough now to accept the way things  
are. You're both nearly adults now…"

"Yet, you treat us like children," Buffy mutters.

"That's because, Buffy, you sometimes act like children." Joyce  
softens a little. "But I've done some thinking over the last couple  
of days, and I think we need to start again, with clean slates."  
She looks at each of them in turn. "What do you say?"

The girls look at each other, and then Dawn pipes up.

"Does that mean we're not grounded anymore?"

Joyce smiles, and nods. "Yes, Dawn, that's what it means. We start  
over, all's forgiven, ok?"

"Really?" Buffy asks, still suspicious. "What's the catch?"

"No 'catch', Buffy," Joyce sighs. Damn, can't she ever give me a  
break? "I'm lifting your restriction, just try to act like a  
responsible adult. Since that's how you want to be treated."

Buffy can't believe her ears. But she's not going to look a gift  
horse in the mouth.

"Thanks, mom," She gets up, smiling. " Gotta fly." She wants to get  
out before mom changes her mind. She starts towards the door.

"Buffy?" Joyce stops her just as her hand hits then doorknob.

Shit! Knew it was too good to be true!

"Yeah, mom?" She turns, feeling her heart sink.

"You forgot your lunch, dear," Joyce says, smiling.

Buffy treats Joyce to a rare smile, then heads towards the kitchen  
for her lunch.

Joyce notices her youngest daughter has gone silent. She looks over,  
and sees Dawn looking worried. God, I hate lying to them like that.  
But can I really tell them about the divorce yet? Or what a shit  
heel their father is?

"Dawn, honey? Is something wrong?" Joyce says, feeling a little  
worried for her youngest.

"Mom? Is it going to be ok? I mean, money wise? I could get a job…  
help out…" Dawn says, her brow furrowed.

Joyce feels her heart melt, and simultaneously, like a shit heel.

"Honey, we're going to be ok, " Joyce says, going over and putting a  
hand on Dawn's shoulder. She squeezes it reassuringly. "It's just a  
rough patch. Things will get better soon. I promise."

"Are you sure, mom? I'd really like to help out, if I can."

"I know you would, honey. But it's going to be fine, ok?" She leans  
over, "Just be you, the student, ok? That's your job right now."

"Ok, mom," Dawn smiles. She gets up, and heads towards the kitchen  
for her lunch.

Buffy is standing by the front door, waiting somewhat impatiently  
for her sister.

"C'mon, Squirt. We don't have all day."

"Quit calling me that, Buffy!" Dawn comes out of the kitchen with  
her lunch.

"Quit being a moron, ok?" Buffy disappears through the door.

" Bye mom." Dawn follows her out.

"Bye girls!" Joyce follows them to the door.

She watches as the sisters make their way to school, immersed in the  
usual sisterly competition. She smiles, feeling an incredible  
warmness for them.

I wish I could just tell them the truth. The whole truth.

Quietly, she shuts the front door.

3

Cordelia Chase stands in front of the group of eager girls, enjoying  
her power.

Being the captain of the cheerleaders has its perks, she admitted to  
herself, looking over the prospective candidates.

Like anyone well suited for their vocation, Cordelia holds the reins  
of power confidently, easily. She knows being a cheerleader is a  
coveted honor at Sunnydale high. It leads to social superiority over  
the rest of the herd. And she has the power to convey this to  
anyone she so chooses. She can make or break someone's high school  
career, and she revels in the utter power of it all.

Her eyes lock on the nubile form of Buffy Summers, and she  
unconsciously licks her lips. There's one that I want to make and  
break, she thinks to herself, a smirk gracing her expression. She's  
attracted to Buffy's innocence wrapped in a thin veneer of  
sophistication. She feels a twinge between her thighs as she feels a  
craving to taste that innocence; taste it, break it and corrupt it.

Harmony Kendall, standing next to Buffy, sees Cordelia's gaze, and  
at first thinks it's for her. She feels a shiver of delight,  
followed by another, warmer tingle. She preens a little, basking in  
Cordelia's lusty gaze.

Then she sees Cordelia isn't looking at her, but at the girl next to  
her, and surge of jealousy courses through her body. She glances at  
Buffy out of the corner of her eye, and feels a strong urge to bash  
her face. Stupid little slut, she thinks to herself, her body  
unconsciously trying to attract Cordy to her. Who does she think  
she is, anyway? Why is Cordy drooling over her? She's nothing!

"Ok, Ladies," Cordelia clapped her hands to get the group's  
attention. "I'm Cordelia Chase. For those you who were born in a  
cave and just recently escaped, I'm the captain of the cheerleading  
squad. Girls already on the squad? Raise your hands."

A number of girls in the group, including Harmony, raise their hands.

"These are my girls, and I put them out there to watch you and  
evaluate you. They'll help me make my final decision, but I'm the  
one who decides who'll be on the squad, so, show me your best stuff.  
Let's begin."

Cordelia finds a seat and sits down, crossing her long legs and  
watching the action. She smiles as one after another, the girls do  
their best to impress her. Most don't, but she still has to give  
them A for effort. The fact that she spread the word that only the  
cute and pretty need apply spared her the embarrassment of watching  
the hippos or geekettes try out for the team. Even so, she's  
somewhat dismayed at the lack of grace some of the girls exhibit. I  
mean, this is the cheerleaders, folks. You could've taken a few  
dance classes, work on your routines.

Buffy, standing towards the back, looking at the girls with the same  
practiced and somewhat jaded eye that Cordelia reviews them. Oh,  
man, this is gonna be so easy, she chortles to herself, watching  
girl after girl make blunders or end up awkwardly or generally  
eliminate themselves. A few show real talent, and she knows she has  
to watch out for them. I can do better, she thinks to herself.

Getting on the cheerleading squad is a life and death thing for her.  
She needs to find some way to get back to a power base, and this  
seems to be the logical method. She just needs to do well here, and  
she's back in with the 'cool' kids. Once there, she knows she can  
rise to the top easily. After all, I'm the cream of the cream.

"Buffy Summers? You're next!" Cordelia calls out. She settles back  
to watch, feeling a little tingle between her legs. This could be  
fun. And educational.

Buffy cuts out from the crowd of girls, and is so concentrated on  
her routine she doesn't see the foot that casually finds its way  
into her path. She trips, skidding forward on the highly polished  
floor. There are giggles and repressed titters from the crowd of  
girls.

Flushing from embarrassment, she looks back in time to see Harmony  
looking at her with a little smirk on her face.

What's your trauma, Dork-o? she fumes, starting to rise from the  
floor.

Harmony scurries over, and bends over to help her.

"Gee, did you trip?" Harmony says, all innocence and concern.

"I had help," Buffy shoots her a look, shaking her off.

"Just trying to help, " Harmony says with her trademark perkiness.  
She slaps the now standing Buffy hard on the back, causing her to  
skitter forward on the floor. "Good luck!"

I should wipe that smirk off her face, Buffy grumbles to herself.  
Then lets it slide. Aw, screw it. She's probably afraid of the  
competition. She should be.

What Buffy doesn't see is the sign Harmony put on her back. It  
reads, "I'm a Spaz, cheer me on!"

She gets center floor, and starts into her routine. Locked! I'm so  
got this! No one's even CLOSE to me! She thinks, as she starts to  
the beat of the music.

She hears the cheers coming from behind her, and feels her  
confidence zoom. Oh yeah, even these hicks know talent when they see  
it, Buffy smiles to herself, putting more and more into her routine.

Cordelia for her part, is watching with interest. She saw the little  
display Harmony put on, and was amused by the obvious jealousy and …  
well, spine… that Harmony showed by trying to sabotage Buffy. Who  
woulda thunk she had it in her. Cordelia smiles, watching as the  
diminutive blond goes through her routine. Still, kind of wasted.  
This girl is good. Even the other girls think so. Can't exactly cut  
her from the team, now can I? She smiles to herself. As if I wanted  
to. I mean, I got plans for her…

Buffy turns around, shaking her hips and butt in a particularly  
sexy, seductive way, and it's then that Cordelia sees the little  
sign that Harmony put on her. She chuckles, and claps, enjoying the  
joke along with the rest.

Wow, she's really digging it! Buffy preens, knowing for sure now  
she's got this locked up tighter Ft. Knox. She aint seen nothing yet!

Buffy pauses, then goes into the end of her routine, doing a  
backwards double flip ending in the splits, arms raised in victory.  
As she flips backward, the sign comes lose, fluttering to the floor  
like confetti.

There is some applause as Buffy extricates herself from her splits.  
She notices the paper on the floor, and picks it up. Reading it, she  
realizes this has been on her back the whole time. How the… she  
looks over at Harmony, who's smiling broadly, standing next to one  
of the other candidates. Buffy's eyes narrow.

Ok, bitch. You want war? You got war!

Cordelia notices the look, and almost can't keep her laughter to  
herself. Well, well! These try outs might be amusing after all.

"That was very… athletic, Buffy. If you would stand over there."  
Cordelia points towards where Harmony is standing. This could get  
really good, she chortles to herself.

Buffy smiles brightly at Cordelia, but as soon as she turns, her  
smile disappears. Her face flushes as she huffs over to Harmony,  
murder in her eye.

"Well, she must've seen something she liked," Harmony says to the  
girl standing next to her, as Buffy draws near. "Couldn't see it  
myself. God, can you get more clumsy than tripping over your own two  
feet?"

The girl next to her snickers, then shuts up quickly as Buffy  
approaches. Buffy cuts between the two girls, and shoves Harmony.

"What's the idea, Harmony?" Buffy growls at her. "Afraid of a little  
competition?"

"From you, shorty? You're kidding, right?" Harmony sneers at  
her. "Where'd you learn your routines? At the freak show you escaped  
from?"

"Only freak I see around here is you," Buffy snipes at her. "  
Guernsey girl. Half cow, half slut"

"Oh, I'm a slut, huh? Cordelia told me how you came on to the  
bartender at bar the other night," she turns to one of the other  
girls. " a GIRL bartender. Well, I guess you'd sleep with anything…"

"Not with a fido like you, Harm," Buffy sneers.

"Who's a fido?"

"If the collar fits, Fifi…"

"You stupid CUNT!"

Harmony, already full of jealous anger, loses it. She charges Buffy,  
pushing and bitch slapping her. Buffy, frustrated, fearing losing  
her spot on the squad because of Harmony, starts fighting back.

"FIGHT! FIGHT!"

The girls around the two start chanting, circling them.

Cordelia, hearing the shouting, looks over to see Harmony and Buffy  
going at it. She pauses a second, an evil little smile playing over  
her lips. Oh yeah, really good.

She pushes her way through the crowd, reaching the two combatants.  
She shouts at the top of her voice.

"BREAK IT UP!" She turns, and spotting some of her squad, waves at  
them.

"Get over here and break them up!" She barks at them.

The squad intervenes, separating the two girls. Both struggle,  
trying to get at the other.

"Ok, this isn't wrestling, this is cheerleading. What the hell is  
going on here?" Cordelia barks. Secretly, she very pleased at the  
little exhibition. But she can't let that cat out of the bag, can  
she?

"She started it!" Both point at the other.

"She attacked me!" Buffy growls, still struggling.

"She called me a dog!"

"She called me a slut!"

"You called me one first!"

"ENOUGH!" She claps her hands loudly.

Both girls subside, settling for shooting dirty looks at each other.

Cordelia puts her hands on her hips.

"This is cheerleading , girls. We work as a team around here, don't  
know how you did it in L.A., but that's how it goes here." Cordelia  
addresses this to Buffy, who blushes red. " And YOU, Harmony. You're  
on the team. You know better. I expect more from YOU!" She scolds  
the other blonde, who wilts like a flower in the desert. "What do  
you two have to say for yourselves?" Would you look at them? Like  
two kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. This is gonna be  
a fun year, I'm thinking. "Well? I'm waiting!"

"I'm sorry," Buffy says, as if the words hurt her mouth.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too" Harmony also seems to struggle with the words.

Hmmm… like clay. I just love playing with clay, Cordelia thinks to  
herself, keeping a stern expression on her face.

"That's better," She raises her voice. "I want you ALL to hear this.  
This is a team, folks. Like basketball or football. We work as a  
team, for the benefit of the team. THERE IS NO PLACE FOR EGOS! GOT  
IT?" She looks around at the others. "If you gotta beef, take it  
outside. But if you do it while you're on my team, you can just keep  
walking. Is that clear?"

There are general murmurs of assent.

"Ok, then. I have try outs to run," She looks at the two girls, who  
won't quite meet her eye. " Can I trust you two not to get into it  
again? Or would you just like to leave now?"

"Yes!"

"No!"

The two look at each other, throwing daggers with their eyes. Buffy  
finally speaks up.

"Yes, you can trust us, and no we don't want to leave."

"Ok, then,"" Cordelia says. She turns to the group. "Ok, playtimes  
over. Back to work!" She moves back to the front of the group. No  
one sees the triumphant little look on her face.

"You better watch it, Buffy," Harmony hisses at her," Stay out of my  
way. IF you make it on the squad!"

"Oh, I'll make it," Buffy says firmly, not looking at Harmony.

Not if I can help it, Bitch.

The rest of the auditions go relatively smoothly, and Cordelia  
eliminates a number of girls. She moves on the second stage of  
auditions.

She gathers the much smaller group of girls around, and addresses  
them.

"Ok, ladies. I've weeded out the natural born clumsy, and it's down  
to you. I want you to pair up in teams. Let's see…" she walks down  
the line. " You… you…" she moves on down, " you… and you…." She  
comes to where Harmony and Buffy are standing. " And you two…" She  
looks at Harmony and Buffy. " Think you can work together now?"

"Yes," Buffy says. It strangely sounds like "if she doesn't get her  
fat ass in my way."

"Yes," Harmony echoes, sounding more like, "If she tries anything,  
I'll claw her eyes out."

"Fine. You two team up."

Both girls groan.

" Did I hear you says you wanted to leave?"

"No!"

"No!"

"Ok, then…" Cordelia continues down the line, picking the rest of  
the teams.

Buffy and Harmony glare at each other, but don't say a word. Good  
thing, this is a family story.

The rest of the auditions used the teams to show how well each  
person could work with a partner, and in larger teams.

It was a comedy of errors.

Harmony and Buffy did their level best to sabotage each other, using  
hip checks, misplaced feet, and every other method to make the other  
look like an uncoordinated dork. They each retained a chilly  
politeness towards each other, all the while doing their best to  
make the other storm off.

Cordelia was in heaven. It had been awhile since two girls had  
fought over her; Harmony pretty much frightened off any competition.

Buffy, however, with her own agenda, wasn't going to allow some cow  
in a cheerleading costume scare her off. She gave tit for tat, and  
didn't back down. She was going to get on this team if it killed  
her. Or, preferably, Harmony!

It almost became an outright brawl when Harmony, grouped with a  
couple of other teams to form a pyramid, deliberately hit Buffy  
with her hip, causing her to teeter and fall out of place. The  
pyramid collapsed like a house of cards.

"You stupid clumsy cow!" Harmony yelled at Buffy. "Can't you even  
stay still long enough to hold up a pyramid?"

"WHAT?" Buffy yelled back at her, red faced. "You used those wide  
load hips of yours to knock me out!"

"I so did not. I can't help it you're as graceful as an elephant  
with broken ankles!"

"You've been trying to sabotage me all day!"

"Why bother? You're so clumsy, you couldn't make it anyway!"

"I'm gonna …."

"OK, ENOUGH!" Cordelia clapped her hands together.

The two started to square off, but Cordelia came between them. "I  
said, Enough!"

"She tried to…"

"She's a big old …"

"Hit the showers, and cool off!" She turned to the others. " Ok,  
Auditions are officially over. Hit the showers. The winners will be  
posted on the bulletin board by the gym Monday!"

Buffy, seeing her chances starting to disappear, turns a deep  
crimson red. She throws Harmony an evil look, then turns and storms  
off towards the locker room. I'm gonna kill that bitch!

Harmony, equally angry, and jealous, storms off towards the locker  
room, carefully avoiding the skank trying to take her Cordelia away  
from her. Gonna grind that bitch's face into the dirt!

Cordelia watches the two angry girls and smiles to herself. She  
can't remember the last time she enjoyed an audition so much.

Humming a little tune, she heads for the locker room.

"She's a weasel," Harmony complains to Aura as she changes in the  
locker room. "I mean, did you see how clumsy she is? And then she  
tries to blame me when she trips over her own feet. I mean, how  
skanky is that?"

"I heard," Aura says, leaning in towards Harmony," That she like got  
in major trouble in her old school, you know? Like, she and her  
loser friends got mad and like trashed the gym or something."

"Well, it figures," Harmony shakes her head, "I mean, she obviously  
can't work with others. Did you see how she totally wrecked the  
pyramid today? She tried to show off, and ruined everything!"

Buffy, sitting in the next aisle, hears Harmony and Aura talking  
about her, and does a slow burn. I should go over and smash in that  
slut's face. She totally wrecked the pyramid, and then blames me. If  
she hadn't been trying to sabotage me all day…

"… she such a loser," Harmony continues, "I mean, I don't even know  
why she bothered to show up to try outs, anyway. Cordelia would  
never put her on the team. I mean, we've got standards. She thinks  
she's so hot, cuz she's from L.A., but she's just like white trash.  
She lives over on Revello drive. Does that tell you anything?"

"Yeah, like her parents are such losers, they can't afford anything  
in the decent part of town," Aura giggles. "And that sister of hers…  
what's her name?"

"Dawn?"

"Yeah. Dawn. God, what kind of name is that?" Aura asks. "Anyway,  
she's like so much a geek. Hangs out with that Loser Harris and  
Willow Rosenberg. And you know what Rosenberg is right?"

"Yeah, total dyke. Doesn't admit it, but it's like common knowledge.  
Wouldn't surprise me if her sister's a dyke, too. I mean, look who  
she hangs out with!"

"Eeew… a lesbo?"

"Oh yeah," Harmony goes on, " Probably Buffy's one too. I mean, Cor  
told me how she tried to come on to some bartender at this bar. God,  
the Dyke sisters!"

Harmony is interrupted when she's shoved hard from behind. Turning,  
she sees Buffy standing there, red faced.

"God, what's your trauma, bitch? That's the second time you shoved  
me!"

"Shut your pie hole, you stupid cow. I don't care what you call me,  
but you don't call my sister names!" She bangs her fist on the  
locker. " Hear me, you fucking cunt?"

"Whatcha gonna do about it, Buffy?" Harmony sneers. "You little  
pipsqueak, you couldn't whip cream. And it's not my fault your  
sister's some kind of lesbo dyke. Maybe if you weren't one ..."

"Shut UP!" Buffy turns almost blood red. She starts advancing on  
Harmony, who backs up. "You take it back, you scummy bitch!"

"Screw you, Summers…"

"Hey! HEY!" Cordelia appears around the corner. "What's going on?"  
She goes over to Buffy, holding her back. "Chill out, girl!"

"Tell your attack dog to back off, Cordelia," Buffy says,  
fuming. "I'm tired of her trashing me and my sister."

"Hard to trash trash, Buffy!" Harmony yells at her.

"Harmony?" Cordelia turns to her, frowning." Shut your pie hole!"

"But she…"

"Shut it, Harm!"

Harmony gives Buffy an evil look, but she shuts up and turns around.

"That stupid little bitch. I'm going to tear her bleached roots  
outta her head!" Buffy tries to get around Cordelia, who holds her  
fast. She turns the smaller girl around, and leads her away.

"C'mon, Buffy. Don't get all fried," Cordelia turns the smaller girl  
around. "Walk with me."

Cordelia steers Buffy across the locker room away from Harmony and  
the rest, and sits her down. Buffy sits there, face red, smacking  
her palm in her fist.

Cordelia sits next to her, putting an arm around her  
shoulders. "Hey, hey, c'mon, don't let Harmony get ya. She's a dumb  
ass sometimes."

"I don't like anyone trashing my family," Buffy mutters, "She called  
my sister a dyke!"

"Look, Harmony's a moron, ok? And, she doesn't have half your  
talent, Buffy. I gotta admit, I was impressed today with your  
audition." She smiles at Buffy. "You're really good!"

"Really? You think so?" Buffy looks at Cordelia, and returns the  
smile. "Thanks"

"Look, I couldn't say it today, because I can't announce it until I  
post the results, but you're on. You made it girl. You're on the  
team."

Buffy looks at her suspiciously.

"You're not shitting me, are you?"

"No way. You're really good. We can so use you on the team. I want  
to make the state championship this year."

Buffy squeals, and impulsively hugs Cordelia.

"Thanks! That's so great. Wow!" She wraps her arms around Cordelia,  
hugging her tight.

Cordelia hugs her back, rubbing her back. Mmmm… nice and soft… nice  
tits, too…

"Hey, it's cool," Cordelia lingers a bit, enjoying the feel of  
Buffy's body next to hers. "I know talent when I see it."

"What about Harmony?" Buffy breaks the hug, sitting back. "She's  
like your best friend. I don't think she wants me on the team. No,  
wait. I know she doesn't."

"I run the team, Buffy. Not Harmony," Cordelia leans in a bit. " Can  
I be straight with you?"

"Yeah…"

"Harmony… look, Harmony wouldn't even be on the team, if she weren't  
like my oldest friend. I mean, the girl's got no rhythm, know what I  
mean? I've tried dropping anvils, to get her to quit, but she's kind  
of thick, you know?"

"Tell me about it," Buffy nods.

"She wants to be a cheerleader, so cuz we like go back forever, I  
keep her around. But frankly, if she starts making trouble for you,  
just let me know. If I have to choose between you, I'm gonna choose  
you, Buffy." Cordelia stares directly into Buffy's eyes. "Get it?"

Buffy has a slightly strange feeling, but she puts it down to  
nerves. C'mon, Buffy, don't wig now. This is your chance.

"Thank, Cordelia," Buffy smiles at her. "I won't let you down."

Oh, believe me baby, I won't let ya, Cordy smiles at Buffy, licking  
her lips, when I'm done with ya, you'll be begging me to… Cordy  
feels a shiver go through herself.

"Hey, you're coming to the party tomorrow night, right? I mean, it's  
really important to me that you be there."

"Sure, Cordelia. I'll be there."

"Call me Cor," Cordelia smiles, "All my friends do."

Buffy smiles. "Sure, Cor. You can count on me."

"Cool. Now, get cleaned up. And, be ready to work your tail off  
starting next week. You're good, but you still need some work,  
baby." She gives Buffy a playful smack on the behind. "Get going.  
Take a shower, you're starting to stink up the place."

"Ok, Cor," Buffy starts to walk off. "See ya tomorrow."

"Yeah, seeya, Buff," Cordelia watches Buffy walk off, admiring the  
nice little swing to her ass. She licks her lips.

Yeah, baby. Be seein' a lot more of ya. Real soon.

Chuckling, she makes her way back to her locker.

"You put her on the team? WHY?" Harmony paces back and forth in  
front of Cordelia.

It's later, after the other girls have gone. Harmony and Cordelia  
are alone in the locker room. Harmony is half dressed, as is  
Cordelia.

"Harm, you're not listening," Cordelia says, an impatient edge to  
her voice. "I told her I put her on the team. It's all part of the  
plan."

"Huh?"

"Harm, I told you I had plans to take the snotty little bitch down a  
few pegs, right?"

"Yeah… how does being on the team do that?"

"She's NOT on the team Harmony. C'mon, keep up!"

"I don't understand."

"Well, duh!" Cordelia says, shaking her head. "I told her on the  
team, cuz I'm trying to win her confidence, and it worked. She's so  
gonna be at the party tomorrow night. That's the plan, remember?"

"Yeah…" Harmony says doubtfully. "What was the plan again."

God, why do I attract the mentally challenged, anyway?

"We go to the party. We get her drunk. I slip her something, and  
she's like half out of it. I take pictures of her having sex with  
one or more of the College jocks, and on Monday, I pass them out.  
Viola, she's like the whore of Sunnydale High. She'll never recover  
from that."

"Oh, yeah!" Harmony smiles. Then she frowns. "But then what?"

"What?"

"I mean, after. Then what?"

"What're you babbling about, Harm?"

"I saw the way you look at her. Like you want to get in her pants.  
What's that about?"

Cordelia looks at Harmony. She smiles.

"Harmony Kendall. I do believe you're jealous!" Cordelia slides over  
closer to her. "Are you jealous, Harm?"

"What? Of that skank? You're kidding, right?"

"C'mon, Harm. I saw you today. You were so trying to make her look  
bad."

"I was NOT!" Harmony insists. "I can't help she's clumsy…"

"Harm…" Cordelia says in that ' don't try to BS me, girl' voice.

"Well, ok, maybe I was. I mean, you've been all obsessed with her  
and everything, and it's totally bogus because…"

"Well, I thought it was cute," Cordelia says, with a slight mocking  
tone to her voice. "you getting all jealous, over me."

"Really?" Harmony looks at Cordelia hopefully. "You're just making  
fun of me, aren't you?"

"Oh, no, baby," Cordelia slips her arm around Harmony's waist,  
resting her hand on her thigh.

Harmony has a major tingle moment.

"I mean, it's really sweet you feeling that way, you know?" Cordelia  
pushes her breast against Harmony's arm. "You know how much I care  
about you, don't you baby?"

Harmony melts like a snow cone in July. She moves into Cordelia's  
embrace.

"I care about you too, Cor," Harmony says, her voice growing  
husky. "A lot."

"Hmmmm… maybe you should show me?" Cordelia swings her leg over the  
bench, and raises her skirt.

Harmony, seeing Cordelia's lace thong barely covering her most  
intimate spot, licks her lips.

"Maybe I should, " Harmony says, slipping off the bench.

Cordelia leans back and smiles. She thinks about another blond as  
Harmony does her best to make her feel very, very good.

That Buffy is one sexy little number. I'm thinking after Saturday,  
she's going to be very open to new experiences. Oh yeah… very open.

If she knows what's good for her…

4

Joyce settles at her desk, pushing aside the lunch her stomach  
simply refuses to accept.

She pulls open her desk drawer, and pulls out a folder she put in  
there this morning. Opening it up, she sees the divorce papers Hank  
signed.

Even though this is what she wanted, it's still hard for her to  
accept it's real. All she has to do now is file the papers with the  
court, and after a brief waiting period, she'll be divorced.

She can't help feeling a sense of loss. I spent twenty years in this  
marriage… over half my life. And now, it's gone… done. It wasn't all  
bad times; there are good times she and Hank had together. It's just  
hard to pinpoint where it went wrong. Was it when Hank decided to  
leave the firm he was with and strike out on his own? The late  
nights, the lost time together, the vacations we didn't take? If  
we'd been together more, would it have made a difference?

She can't help feeling some responsibility. Even though she's sure  
she tried her best to make the marriage work, there's always the '  
could I have done something different? Something better?' question  
that bounces around in the mind. Oh yeah, Hank started it by  
cheating on me. But maybe I didn't always understand his needs,  
either? Maybe I should've tried to understand what went wrong; tried  
harder to make it better.

Joyce is a smart, intelligent, driven woman. Her marriage failed.  
Failure is never easy to accept.

I'm going to have to tell Dawn and Buffy. Oh, that's going to be  
pleasant. Especially with Buffy. I know she blames me for her dad  
running around; I guess it's easier to blame me. I'm around to  
blame. And Dawnie, despite her more even temper, is going to be hurt  
and confused by this. God, please, just don't let her act out like  
Buffy. Let me somehow reach her, help her through it. Let her know  
that her father does love her… at least, let her think that.  
Sometimes, I'm not sure what Hank loves.

Oh boy. What if he carries out his little threat? What if it's not  
over? What if he … stop it, Joyce! Stop it now. Going there isn't  
going to help things. I just … really shocked him. Hank's weak, and  
a player, and a cheat… but he's not a violent man… not really.

He hit you, Joyce. That shows violence. Bad violence.

He just was frustrated. He couldn't deal with the fact that it was  
really over, and not on his terms.

GOD, Joyce! You're not married to him anymore, and you're STILL  
defending him.

"Joyce?"

Joyce, startled, looks up to see Taylor standing at her office door.  
Recovering her composure quickly, she stands.

"Taylor? What is it? Is anything wrong?" Joyce notices the look of  
concern on Taylor's face.

"No, I just… well, I was wondering if you had a minute?"

"I really should get to these proofs for the catalogue, Taylor…" She  
sweeps her hand over the piles of galley proofs on her desk.

"Oh. Well, you seemed to be … well… daydreaming a little. And I need  
to talk to you, and I was wondering if now might be a good time?"

Joyce smiles a little ruefully, and waves to the chair in front of  
the desk. She sits.

"Well, yeah, I guess now would be as good as any."

Taylor closes the door behind her and sits where Joyce indicated.  
Joyce, a little surprised, leans back in her chair, wondering how  
serious this little talk is going to be.

"So, hon, what can I do for you?"

Taylor looks at Joyce, then blushes lightly, and turns away. She  
bites her lip, which Joyce can't help but think is the tiniest bit  
adorable.

Why is she so tongue tied? I can't be THAT much of an ogre of a  
boss. Can I?

"Taylor? Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine, Joyce. I'm… well, I'm just having a hard time coming  
out and saying what … are you bi?"

Joyce looks at Taylor blankly. Taylor, for her part, blushes deeply.

Nice one, real nice. She's so going to fire your butt for that,  
Taylor!

"Excuse me? I'm not sure I understand?" Joyce looks at Taylor,  
feeling a little confused. "Bi?"

Taylor shifts uncomfortably in her chair, looking at her hands; she  
definitely doesn't want to look at Joyce. Finally, however she  
raises her eyes, and nods.

"Yeah, Bi. Bisexual. That is, you kinda like men AND women… know  
what I mean…?"

"Taylor, I'm married. What gives you the idea to ask that particular  
question?"

"Well, I saw you at the club last night, Joyce, and the client? Was  
a young woman, but you told me in the bathroom it was a man," Taylor  
looks at her, "And, well, frankly, I saw what you two were doing…"  
She smiles, a little embarrassed. "Actually, you looked quite… well,  
familiar with each other?"

Joyce can hear the sound of her world crashing down around her. It  
isn't a pleasant sound. Oh, god…

"Taylor, look, I can explain…"

"No need to explain, Joyce. I mean, I kind of figured it out… no… I  
mean, look, I'm not sure exactly what I mean, except I wanted to  
tell you I'm cool with it. That's what I was trying to tell you last  
night. I knew you weren't with a guy, and I was sort of trying to  
draw you out…" She gets a slightly uncomfortable look on her  
face. "Just, the thing is, aren't you like, married?"

Joyce, you're rather screwed here. You can either deny it, and  
Taylor will know your lying, or let her in on it, and hope she'll  
keep your secret.

Oh, this is really so not how I wanted things this time. Really, I  
didn't.

"Taylor, can I speak with you frankly?"

"Sure, of course, Joyce," Taylor says, leaning in.

"I want to show you something, but I need to keep it on the QT for  
now, ok? I mean, you can't tell anyone, do you understand?"

"Yes, sure. I get it," Taylor says in a conspiratorial tone.

Joyce opens a drawer in her desk, and pulls out the file folder with  
the divorce papers in it. She opens it, and hands it over to Taylor.

Taylor reads over the document, then looks up at Joyce, wide-eyed.

"You're getting a divorce!" She says in a loud voice.

Joyce cringes a little, and frowns.

"Taylor? A little more quietly, please?"

"Oh, sorry," Taylor blushes, "you're getting a divorce?" She asks,  
almost whispering.

"Yes, I am. Right now, things are a little… difficult, so I need you  
to be discreet, if you know what I mean? I really need you to keep  
what you know to yourself."

Taylor looks at her blankly.

"Taylor, my business deals with a lot of wealthy clients. Wealthy  
people tend to be conservative…" Joyce sighs. "I don't think they'd  
understand me being with someone else, not being exactly divorced  
yet. Especially another woman. Do you understand?"

"Oh… sure, Joyce, I get it," Taylor nods.

"My business is built on reputation, and well… if this got out, I  
could be out of business."

"Don't worry, Joyce, I won't tell anyone. Not even Billy. I promise!"

"Nobody, Taylor, promise?"

"I promise."

"Ok, well… hmmm… you asked me if I'm Bi? I really don't know the  
answer to that question. I mean, I've never felt like this… felt  
love like this… for another woman, you see? And I'm not interested  
in other woman, particularly."

"I can get that. I mean, I guess there always has to be a first,  
right?"

"Well, I'm not looking for a second, if you understand my meaning,"  
Joyce smiles a little. "I've never been particularly adventurous,  
sexually, you know? I mean, well… Hank was my first…"

"Hank?" Taylor asks, "Your husband Hank?"

"Soon to be ex-husband, yes."

"You mean you never like… well, fooled around in college or  
anything?" Taylor can't believe her ears.

"No! I mean, well, I wasn't a prude or anything," Joyce adds,  
picking up Taylor's tone, "but it never was an issue. I mean, it  
wasn't a big part of my life…"

Taylor looks at her, a puzzled expression on her face. She starts to  
say something, then stops, then finally just blurts it out.

"Ok, I don't get it. You told me that Hank was your only…well, he  
was your first and only person you had sex with. You say you never  
like, experimented in college, or anything. But I saw you with a  
woman, and you were… well, it was… I'm really confused here…" She  
looks Joyce in the eye. "How'd you wind up with the hottie?"

Joyce isn't sure whether to be insulted, or amused. She chooses the  
later, chuckling a little.

"I'm sure Faith will be happy to know you think she's a hottie. She  
mentioned she thought you had a cute butt."

Taylor blushes pink. "I wasn't trying to … oh, gosh, I've messed  
this up. All I meant was, you've only really been with one man in  
your life, not even with a woman before. How'd you decide to go  
after Faith?" She looks at Joyce questioningly. "The name is Faith,  
right?"

Joyce nods.

"Actually, I didn't go after her… she went after me."

"Huh?" Taylor is stunned.

Again, Joyce would be offended, except Taylor seems to be genuinely  
curious; not condescending. She outlines what happened in Boston  
over the summer, and the events that happened after, including  
whatever Faith told her about their time apart. She abbreviates  
where she can, but even so it's nearly an hour before she winds up  
her tale. She leaves out the part about Hank hitting her, figuring  
that was private. And she didn't want to get into that aspect of it.  
God, just as long as he's gone!

By the end of it, Taylor is sitting across from Joyce, tears  
streaming down her eyes.

"Oh my god, that's just so, so romantic! She just like, showed up  
here, like that old movie with that old guy in it?"

Joyce is a little confused by Taylor's reference. "Old movie? Old  
guy?"

"Yeah, you know, that old guy. Good looking… oh… darn… the rich guy  
in ' Pretty Woman'. You know, he played in some old movie… he was  
like a Navy guy, and what's-her-face , you know, the one that played  
the stripper?… was like this girl on the wrong side of the tracks or  
something, and they can't be together for some reason, but then he  
shows up at the factory that she works, all dressed up in like a  
navy uniform, and he goes and picks her up and carries her off and  
they live happily every after?"

It takes Joyce a while to digest and process this.

"Oh, are you talking about Richard Gere and Debra Winger? An  
Officer and a Gentlemen? That movie?"

"Yeah, that's it! That old movie, right!" Taylor nods. " Faith is  
like that Gere dude, and you're like Debra Winger, well, except  
she's from the wrong side of the tracks, and you're like the  
respectable one and well… ok, maybe that wasn't so close, but it was  
romantic like that, see? And like that Gere dude, she came here  
after you, right?"

I wonder how Faith would feel being compared to Richard Gere? I  
mean, I don't mind being compared to Debra Winger… she's kind of  
well, sexy, but … Joyce smiles at Taylor. Still, even with the silly  
comparison it was nice to actually talk to somebody about this. God,  
this is the first time I've actually told anyone! It feels… good!

"I can see what you mean. I guess it does sort of seem like that, a  
little," Joyce nods, smiling. "Just, well… it's been kind of hard,  
and now with the divorce going forward and all, I need things to be  
successful here at the gallery. I can't count on Hank in any real  
way, financially. So, this has to be just between you and me, ok?"

"Yeah, sure Joyce, I got that. Zip the lips. Quiet as a mouse,"  
Taylor makes a motion with her hand across her mouth, "So, how did  
the girls take it?"

Joyce makes a little face.

"Joyce, they don't know?"

"No, they don't…" Joyce sighs.

"About any of it? The Divorce?"

Joyce shakes her head. "I really… after I came back here with Hank,  
I really wanted to make it work. I thought we could patch it up,  
make it work. Especially since I thought Faith was gone for good.  
But that… Hank didn't want that, I see that now. He was just looking  
out for himself, again, and after awhile, he just started back in  
his old ways again…" Joyce shakes her head," And the divorce was  
just settled last night, really, so I haven't had time to really  
tell them yet." Joyce sighs deeply this time. "I know that Buffy in  
particular isn't going to take it well."

"Well, what did Faith say when you told her?"

"I haven't had time to tell Faith," Joyce says, her brow wrinkling a  
little. "This isn't something you can like do over the phone, you  
know? And there just hasn't been time yet." She looks around the  
office, as if trying to find something to hold on to. "This is going  
to change things between us. I mean, I know she's going to be happy  
about it, and all. And I'm happy and all. But this is … well, it  
changes things," She looks at Taylor with some concern. "I'm kind of  
scared. She's going to have expectations. And the girls? How are  
they going to take us… me and Faith… being together? And…" she  
trails off, shaking her head.

Taylor gets up, and comes to Joyce, giving her a hug. "Poor Joyce.  
You sound like you're living in a soap opera!"

"I know, I know. It's crazy, isn't it?" She laughs a little. "God, I  
wish I could just go in a coma for like 8 months. And when I wake  
up? Everything is magically fixed." She lets out a little sigh. "It  
never works that way though, does it?"

"Not for anyone I know," Taylor agrees. She breaks the hug and walks  
back towards the door.

"Well, thanks for listening to me vent, Taylor," Joyce smiles

"I hope you know, any time you need to talk… about it, any of it?  
You can talk to me, ok?" Taylor says, turning around. "I'd like to  
think we're friends too, not just boss and employee."

"I'd like that." Joyce changes the subject, still a little  
embarrassed baring her soul that much. "Uh, how is the set up for  
the Giroux exhibition this evening?"

"Almost done," Taylor nods, realizing Joyce wants to get back to  
business. " The back gallery has been cleared out, and the paintings  
are being hung as we speak."

"Very good. We need to have everything in place by 7 p.m. Could you  
check on it, make sure Tom gets it done properly? And, contact the  
caterers, make sure they have the refreshments here by 6:30."

"On it Joyce," Taylor starts out, then pauses. "Hope you get  
everything worked out ok." She walks into the main room of the  
gallery.

Everything ok? God, that'll be the day.

Joyce leans back in her chair, hands behind her head. She stares at  
a spot on the ceiling. She knows she should call Faith, talk to her.  
Tell her aboutHank and the divorce and the rest. She knows this  
will be a major change in her relationship.

She knows this, and hesitates.

She thinks about what Faith said last night. About needing to think  
things over. Get an idea of what she wants out of this relationship.  
Am I losing her? Did I waffle too long? Is she wanting more, and I'm  
just not willing to give it to her? God, if I lose her… Joyce  
doesn't even want to go there.

Call her! Talk to her!

Joyce reaches for the phone, picks it up, and pauses. No, this can't  
be done on the phone. Meet her somewhere…

She dials the number for Faith's cell phone.

The phone rings and rings, and finally her voice mail answers.

"Hi, this is Faith. Can't make it to the phone right now, I'm all  
tied up. Leave your name, phone number and a brief message, and I'll  
get back to you as soon as I figure how to untie these knots…"

Joyce snorts a laugh. God, that's so her!

"Faith, this is Joyce. 555-7243. I really need to talk to you. Meet  
with you. Call me back as soon as you get this message. Thanks,  
honey."

Joyce hangs up the phone, and she suddenly realizes something. She's  
never reached Faith's voicemail before.

God, Joyce. She's got a life. And is trying to get into college, and  
is working. What, you expect her to wait by the phone until you  
deign to call her? A little selfish, don't you think?

Still, as she sits back in her chair again, she can't help wondering  
if she should be a little worried.

Or a lot worried.

5

"Whatta pit!"

Buffy stands close to the entrance to the Bronze, looking in at the  
main floor. She makes a semi-disgusted face.

It's Friday night in Sunnydale in the only cool place in the town(if  
you don't count the videogames at the Burger King), and the club is  
wall to wall people. There's a live band onstage… Well, if you call  
that a band. Sounds like they just escaped the garage band circuit…  
barely… and the dance floor is packed. She looks around with a  
slightly sinking feeling.

How the heck am I supposed to find them in this? Do I really want  
to find them in this? She rolls her eyes. She promised her mom  
she'd look in on Dawn's date, make sure it was going ok and that  
Xander wasn't getting too forward. Geeze, mom, Dawn is like 16. She  
can handle herself, right? Oh, and playing mom's spy? Just so much a  
bonus.

Still, she didn't want to piss off her mother. She did lift the  
grounding, and she even let me go to the party tomorrow night. Of  
course, I didn't mention it was a college party. That would've made  
it so over. A little creative bending of the truth… ok, lying… and  
she thinks it's in SunnyD… at Cordelia's house. Well, she'll never  
know the diff, and I know she wouldn't let me go to a college party.  
God, I'm 18 mom, not a kid…ok, well, almost 18 … still…

Just find Dawn so you can say you did your duty, and can get outta  
here. She's got to be around here somewhere…

Not looking where she's going, she bumps into someone.

"Hey, sorry," Buffy blushes.

"No prob," The person turns around. "I'm kind of used to getting run  
into. Happening a lot lately… whoa, Buffy! Hi! Didn't expect to see  
you here!" Willow smiles.

"Willow, hey," Buffy says, "You seen my sister?"

"She's with Xander."

"Yeah, I knew that. I was wondering if you saw her here, tonight?  
Mom wants me to check up on her. I just love being like her  
watchdog," Buffy smirks.

"I meant, she's with Xander," Willow points over to one of the  
alcoves. "We have a table over there. Wanna come with?"

"We? You mean you're here with Xander and Dawn? On their date?"

"Oh yes? Didn't you know? We've got a thing going, the three of us.  
We plan on having a ménage a trois later." She lets out a slightly  
dramatic sigh. "Ours is a forbidden and slightly kinky love!"

TBC.


	11. Chapter 10b

Cont.

"Willow!" Buffy looks at the redhead like she's gone mad.

" Just kidding, Buff. I was here, they showed up, they invited me over to their table… coinkidink, you know?"

"Really," Buffy says as if she doesn't believe it.

"What?"

"Well, I mean, you and Xander were together. Then my sister shows up, and suddenly they're together. I mean, my sister isn't like horning in on your action?"

"Huh?" Willow looks at her. Then she laughs.

"What's the funny?"

"You, goofus. Me and Xander? You're kidding, right?"

"No, why would I? I mean, you two seem really close."

"Well, we are close. We've known each other since like playgroup. That's when he stole my wonder woman Underoos…"

"Huh? He stole your underwear? Xander?" _Hmmm… maybe mom has a point!_

" Well, we were playing doctor, and…" Willow shrugs. "He thought they were cool. He didn't get the idea of anatomical differences between boys and girls, and how my underwear might not fit quite right…" Her brow furrows. "He's always been a little backwards that way."

"He knows the difference now, right?"

"Oh sure, I pointed it out to him…" Willow gets a concerned look on her face. "At least, I think he knows…" She watches Buffy for a reaction, and then bursts out laughing. "God, if you could _see_ the look on your face!"

"You're funny," Buffy says, "really funny." She gives Willow a look. "Still, I mean you guys have been together a long time. I thought you guys would be like… well, close…" She makes a gesture. "You know… close, close."

"Look, Buffy. Me and Xander? We're friends. Best friends. But that's it." She stops, looking at the crowd ahead. "Gosh, this place is packed tonight." She manages to squeeze through, pulling Buffy along with her. " We're only friends. Nothing more."

"Ok, no skin off my butt," Buffy shrugs. "Just, didn't you ever like want to be closer?"

"Oh, we dated, briefly. In junior high. That lasted about a week."

"What happened?"

"He kissed me."

"Oh. It was bad, huh?" Buffy says, sympathetically.

"No, I mean, he did it right. It was just…" Willow makes a face. "It was like when I kissed a cousin once. Kinda ick."

"Oh."

"I think it was the same for him. Anyway, we never did that again, by mutual consent."

"Oh," Buffy repeats. "But your friends. Best friends?"

Willow catches something in Buffy's expression.

"What?"

"Nothing, just… well, how can a guy and girl be best friends?"

"We have a lot of the same interests. He likes movies, I like movies. He likes double mochas, so do I. He likes soccer, and so do I, and well…" She glances at Buffy out of the corner of her eye, " … we both like girls…"

Buffy stops dead in her tracks.

"Huh?"

"We both like girls, Buff."

"Yeah, ok," Buffy says, getting a little weirded out. "I have girlfriends, too…"

"No, Buff… Xander and I like girls the same way…"

"oh" Buffy eye's go wide. "OH!" She backs away from Willow a little bit." You… you mean you're like… ?"

"Yeah, Buffy. I'm gay." Willow sighs a little bit, seeing Buffy's reaction. "thought you should know, seeing we're friends and all, and … well, I just thought you should hear it from me, rather than just through the grapevine."

Buffy becomes very aware suddenly that Willow is holding her hand. She extracts herself from Willow's grip. Willow can't fail to notice.

"I see… this is freaking you out," She says, quietly, looking at Buffy's slightly nervous expression and her sudden separation. "It's not catching, Buffy."

"It's not like that, Willow," Buffy protests.

"Really? What's it like then?" Willow frowns slightly.

"You took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting something like that. I mean, kinda nuked me there with that news, Willow."

"That's funny, Buffy. I mean, I don't hide what I am. Pretty sure it's common knowledge around Sunnydale High. Yeah, I told you just now, but really only to confirm what you might've heard. I figured I owed you that… but I see it's freaking you out."

"Not freaking me out!"

"You're looking at me like I grew a third eye, Buffy. Being gay isn't the end all and be all of who _I_ am, Buffy. It's just part of who I am."

"Well, yeah," Buffy says, recovering a little. "Sure. I know that."

"Then why are you all of a sudden wigging, Buffy?"

"I'm NOT wigging!" Buffy exclaims, "I think you got a problem, not me. I got nothing against gay people."

"Mmmm … right," Willow nods, still tight lipped. "You just wouldn't want your sister to marry one."

"What? You and Dawn? You're… You two…?"

"No, Buffy. It's just an expression!" Willow feels the blood rushing into her neck. "God, Buffy. She and Xander like each other. I wouldn't come between that, even _IF_ I could. It's NOT like that Buffy. Crap," Willow shakes her head. "I don't hit on every woman I meet, Buffy. And Dawn isn't my type, anyway."

"Who _is_ you're type?"

"Certainly no one around here," Willow looks Buffy straight in the eyes. "You know what? Bad idea even mentioning this to you. Let's just drop it. Just thought you should know."

"Fine, fine by me." Buffy says, a little huffily. "You brought it up, I didn't"

"Look, sorry I mentioned it, Buffy," Willow puts up her hands. "Let's just forget it, ok? I like Dawn… as a friend… and I know Xander is mildly crazy about her. I just wanted us to all get along, and I thought you knowing _everything_ would be best. No surprises, you know? I thought we could be friends, too. But I'm thinking that's not gonna happen."

"What did I do? I just came to see how Dawn was doing, maybe hang out. What's the big?"

Willow looks at Buffy with a tight expression, then waves towards the alcove. "Well, we're over here. C'mon." She turns and walks towards the alcove, leaving Buffy standing there.

_God, fine. Get snotty! I didn't do nothing!_ Buffy follows her in.

Xander is sitting on the sofa, Dawn on his lap, arms around his neck, kissing him. They seem oblivious to anyone else but themselves. Willow looks at Buffy, arching a brow.

"They've been like this most of the night. I'd be uncomfortable, but I don't even think they remember I'm here." Willow sits on the loveseat cattycorner to the sofa.

"Ahem," Buffy says, clearing her throat.

Dawn and Xander break the kiss, and look at Buffy.

"Buffy, what're _you_ doing here?" Dawn sounds a little annoyed.

"Obviously, not what you're doing here," Buffy smirks. "Wanna get off the boy now? Let Xander catch a breath?"

"Hey, Buff," Xander grins, giving Dawn a little squeeze, "I'm fine. Real comfy. Dawnie doesn't weigh a thing."

"Yeah, you look real comfy. But I'd rather not be treated by the sight of my little sister making out with her boyfriendly, if that's ok with you."

She looks around for a place to sit, and seeing a chair, pulls it up. This isn't lost on Willow, who has plenty of room next to her on the loveseat.

"No one asked you, Buffy. You're not boss of me," Dawn says, giving her sister a look. "Again I ask, why're you here?"

"Well, mom wanted me to check on you, be sure Xander didn't go UN on you."

Dawn gives her a puzzled look.

"Roman hands, Russian fingers."

"Oh for god's sake," Dawn gives a huge, put upon sigh, and slips off Xander's lap. "Mom treats me like a kid! I'm 16 !"

"Yeah, well, now you know how I feel, Squirt," Buffy looks at Dawn's blouse. "Is that my blouse?"

"No"

"Ok, not a question this time. That's my blouse. Did you ask if you could borrow it?"

"No," Dawn gives her yet another look. "Want it back?" She makes to start to unbutton it.

"No, not now. Just, nice to get all nice and sweaty in my blouse, Dawn," Buffy shakes her head. "Now I'll have to burn it."

"God, Buffy. What's your problem. What's with the tude?" She flounces down next to Xander, frowning.

"What 'tude?"

"You'd think you'd be happy, mom letting you off restriction just before that party you want to go to…"

Buffy shoots Dawn a look, but Dawn ignores it.

"Party?" Xander perks up," There's a party?" He looks at Willow. "There's a party and we weren't invited?"

Willow shrugs, "Are we ever?"

"Good point!" Xander grins lopsidedly. "So, going to a party, Buffster?"

"Buffster?"

"Oh, Xander does that to everybody," Willow says, lightly. "He calls Dawn Dawnster now. I'm the only exception. He knows better than to call me Willster. I'll beat him up."

"Yeah, never could take you in a fight, "Xander grins. He leans over to Buffy, "She fight's dirty."

"I do not, Alexander Harris!" Willow blusters. "You're just a weakling, is all."

"Hey, don't call my Xander Bear a weakling!" Dawn protests.

"Xander Bear? Oh god," Buffy mock groans. "I think I need insulin!"

"Shut up, Buffy!" Dawn growls. "Just because you don't have a boyfriend…"

"I'm a boyfriend?" Xander looks at Dawn. "You think I'm boyfriendly?"

"Oh yeah, Pookie lips," Dawn coos.

"Love ya, pooh butt," Xander coos back.

They kiss.

"Ack," Buffy makes fake choking sounds. "This is beyond sugar shock." She looks at Willow. "They do this all the time?"

"Yeah, sad to report. They're hopelessly cute. I think it's a terminal case."

Buffy makes a rude noise.

"So, what's this about a party?" Xander comes up for air from Dawn's lips. "When is it?"

"Oh, tomorrow night," Buffy says, trying to make it casual.

"Who's throwing it?"

"Some college fraternity. Alpha Mu? No one you know, anyway."

"College party? With like, college women?" Xander gets a dreamy look on his face. " Coeds… hmmmm."

"HEY!" Dawn punches him on the arm.

"OW!" Xander rubs his arm, "Aw, c'mon, Pooh butt. You know you're the only girl for me."

"Yeah, well, you seem awfully interested in the Coeds all of a sudden."

"I'm a high school guy. It's a genetic thing. A guy thing." Xander says, defensively. "I can't help it."

Dawn pouts, not looking at him.

"Aw, c'mon cutie-patootie, don't be that way," Xander begs.

"Well… maybe I should just look for a guy who'll want to be with me, and not some slutty college coeds."

"You think they'll be slutty?" Xander asks, getting that dreamy look again.

Dawn hits him again. "Stop it!"

"Ouch! You hit hard!" Xander chuckles, rubbing his arm.

"Well, maybe I should just go," Dawn says, sounding a little miffed.

She starts to slide away on the couch, not trying TOO hard to get away. Xander catches her, and pulls her back next to him.

"Aw, you know you're the only one for me, Dawnie."

Buffy and Willow are both rolling their eyes by this time.

"Well…I dunno…" She giggles, and throws her arms around Xander's neck, "Ok, kiss and make up?"

"Oh yeah."

And they do.

"I don't think I can take much more of this," Buffy says, rising, "I'm gonna go into a diabetic coma soon, if they keep it up." She looks over at the bar; the crowd around it has thinned out. "Maybe I'll get something to drink."

"Yeah me too," Willow says, getting up. "You can only be a third wheel so long before it gets old."

The two women leave the alcove, leaving the lovebirds to their smooching.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry," Buffy says, sipping her drink.

She and Willow are at the bar, sitting on stools. They both decided going back to the alcove right now wouldn't be good for their blood sugar level.

" 'bout what?" Willow says, sipping her soda, looking around the Bronze.

"You know, about the whole… thing." She blows out her breath. "I mean, it's your life, right? You gotta live it as you see it. I just… wasn't expecting the little announcement." She shrugs. "Kinda threw me. I mean, I heard things… but I thought it was just gossip."

"Look, Buff. I'm comfortable about who I am. I've already gone through the FUD. My dad was especially freaked when I told him; he's like really conservative and all that stuff. Mom was a little cooler, but she's all into the child psychology thing; I think she thinks it's just a rebellious phase, you know? All I'm saying is, I'm not looking for anyone's approval. Not even my parents, ok?"

"Ok, ok," Buffy shrugs. "I wasn't talking about that. I behaved badly, and I'm sorry."

"No big, Buff. I get it." Willow changes the subject. "So, what's this party all about. College Fraternity huh?" Willow looks at her. "How'd you get invited?"

"Oh, ummm… well, Cordelia Chase was going, and she asked if I wanted to go, and well… I thought, why not?"

"Cordelia, huh?" Willow frowns a little. "You and her are getting kinda chummy…"

"I guess we gotta be," Buffy says, "After all, I'm on the cheerleading squad now."

"Really?" Willow smiles, "Hey, that's great. Congratulations!" Her brow furrows. "Wait, I thought the list wasn't going up til Monday…?"

"Well, Cordelia told me today, after tryouts. That I'd made it. Cool, huh?"

Willow looks at Buffy's beaming face, and can't help returning the smile. Still, she had reservations. _Why does she even want to be a cheerleader, anyway? I mean, she could be so much more…_

"Well, I thought you did really well when you were doing tryouts…"

"You were there?"

"Oh yeah, all of us were. Me, Xander, Dawn. They even took a break from tonsil swabbing to watch. We all thought you did great."

"I didn't see you guys…"

"Well, we kind of hung back around the exits. We're not exactly Cordelia's favorite peeps, you know? We didn't want to like, let her know we were there…"

"What is it between you and Cordelia? Why don't you like her?"

"Did I just hear Cordelia's name?" A voice, Xander's, comes from behind Buffy. She whirls to see him and Dawn walking up to the bar. "I think I need to hit the head. I'm feeling nauseated," Xander says, frowning slightly.

"Both of you," Buffy looks from Willow to Xander and back, "what's the deal? Why don't you like her? I don't get it. I've talked with her and all and she's nice enough…"

"Is that why she threatened me Buffy?" Dawn asks, also frowning.

"Threatened you? You mean that first day? C'mon, that was just her doing her power thing. We were ragging on her. It didn't mean anything…"

"No, Buffy. After that. Remember that day you ragged on me on the front steps? Well, you're buddy Cordelia came up to me after, and said that looks like she was going to be able to give me hell now. Now that you and I were fighting. I guess that's what she was thinking… I don't know… all I know is she's planning on something… "

"You're delusional, squirt. First of all, you're pretty full of yourself to think you're even on her radar when you're not in her sight, and secondly, she's only ragging on you. She's not going to do anything to you…"

Willow and Xander exchange a significant look.

"… look, we're friends now, ok, Dawn?" Buffy puts her hand on Dawn's arm. "She's not going to mess with you, promise."

Dawn doesn't look in the least mollified. She continues to look at Buffy like she's grown another, stupider head.

"You guys got her all wrong. She's ok once you get to know her… look, why don't you go with me to the party tomorrow. Maybe if you hang out with her some, you'll get to know her better?"

"Cordelia's going to this party?" Xander asks, looking at Buffy.

"Yeah, she asked Buffy to come along," Willow adds in.

"Think I'll pass, thanks Buffster," Xander says, "Being in the same space with Cordelia Chase when I don't have to be? Naw, don't think so."

"Yeah, me too," Willow adds in, "Sorry , Buff, but there's just some things I won't do. Tear the labels off of mattresses, lick postage stamps with my tongue, socialize with Cordelia Chase. All those things are just wrong."

Buffy looks at her sister. "I'm not going if Xander's not going. God, why would I want to be with the Wicked Bitch of Sunnydale High, anyway?"

"Fine, don't go. No skin off my rear," She shrugs, "You guys are something." She shakes her head.

"Buffy, you don't know her like we know her," Willow says, "I'm warning you. She's trouble, with a Capital T and that rhymes with C and that spells Cordelia. I won't say don't go to the party; just be careful. Watch your back."

"Yeah, what she said, but I will say, don't go to the party, Buffy. She's setting you up." Xander adds. "Make sure she doesn't know anything you don't want _everybody_ to know."

Buffy shakes her head, a disgusted look on her face.

"I can't believe you… any of you," her nostrils flare a little. "You talk about being tolerant and non judgmental and all that, but you're as bad as you're accusing her of being."

"Buffy, we know what she's capable of. We're just trying to warn you!"

Buffy slips off her stool, grabbing her purse.

"You know what? I'm feeling kinda tired. Think I'll go home. Not sure I want to be here anymore." She starts off towards the exit.

Dawn follows her, grabbing her arm.

"Wait, Buffy. Don't be an idiot. Come on, think. She treated us like crap that first day. Why do you think all of a sudden she's doing a 180? She's setting you up!"

"You too, huh? They got you brainwashed. Well, that's your choice. Frankly, intolerance doesn't suit you , Dawnie."

"You're being a dope, Buffy!"

"You're right," Buffy says, pulling away her arm. "Hanging with you and your loser friends? Total moron." Buffy turns and waves over her shoulder. "Later, Dawn. If you wanna hang in loserland, that's fine. Just don't ask me to."

Buffy disappears in the crowd.

Dawn watches her sister blend into the crowd, and shakes her head. _God, you're a moron, Buffy. Wait, it's Buffy! She's always a moron!_

She makes her way back to the bar. Xander and Willow are waiting for her.

"So, what did she say?" Willow asks, looking a little worried.

Dawn shrugs. "She's being Buffy. A total airhead with concrete casing. No talking to her."

"Well, you did your best, Dawn," Xander comes over and puts an arm around her shoulder. "You can't think for her. She's gotta find out for herself, I guess."

"Yeah," Dawn agrees, leaning a little against him.

"I just hope it doesn't cost her too much," Willow frowns, looking in the direction Buffy disappeared.

6

Joyce dials the number again, then holds the cell against her ear to hear it ring.

She's been trying to reach Faith all day, without success. All she's gotten so far is her voicemail.

Sighing, she listens to the rings, expecting to be connected to the cheery, if slightly bent message Faith left on her mailbox. Deciding she didn't want to leave another message(she's left 6 already), she's about to press the 'end' button when a voice answers.

"Hello?"

"Faith?"

"Joyce? Hi, baby," Faith says with a soft, almost purring quality.

Joyce feels a major flood of tingles pour through her body. _God, that woman makes me hot just talking!_

"I've been trying to reach you all day!" Joyce says it a little more petulantly than she'd planned. She immediately is sorry. "I was a little worried," she adds quickly."

"I'm sorry. I had the thing off. It's been a crazy day."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, running around campus, getting ready for school and all. God, I forgot how hard all this crap was," Faith laughs.

Joyce feels her heart beat a little faster with Faith's laugh. _She doesn't sound angry! Good!_

"Sounds like fun," Joyce says, almost enviously. _I wish I could just worry about school and such._

"Not all that much fun. Geeze. Fundamentals of Chemistry? Theory of Civilization? Political thought in mid-19th century Europe? All I want to do is paint, and I've got all these brain buster courses," Faith sighs. "Maybe this was a big old mistake…"

"No, Faith, no," Joyce jumps in, " believe me, it sounds hard now, but you're smart; a lot smarter than you think. You'll do fine. And I wouldn't want you to miss this experience for the world. You can make a lot of good contacts in College; contacts that'll stay with you all your life."

"All I wanna do is paint, Joyce. Tell me how Algebra 201 helps that?" Faith sounds a little discouraged. "I'm not as smart as you think!"

"Pish tosh!"

"Pish tosh?" Faith repeats, almost chuckling. "Is that like for real?"

"I'm just saying, you're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for, and anyone not named Faith Lehane can see that!"

"You think I'm smart?" Faith says, almost teasingly, "You mean you don't just love me for my hot ass?"

Joyce experiences another flood of tingles, along with a couple of very warm blushes, thinking of Faith's 'hot ass'.

"Of course not," her voice is a little smoky, despite her best efforts. "You're hot ass has very little to do with how I feel about you!"

"Mmmm, I see. So, you don't like my ass then?"

Joyce feels a moment of frustration. _God, she can be so… so … sometimes! If she weren't so utterly adorable, I might put my foot to that hot ass of hers, hard. Or my hand…_ Joyce gets a major tingle moment at that thought. _Stop it, Joyce. There's serious stuff here to think about!_

"Faith, I need to talk to you," Joyce says, changing the subject. Maybe just a moment too late when she experiences that familiar dampness between her thighs Faith always engenders.

"Oh, man. I'm sorry Joyce, but I'm on my way out the door. I gotta get to work…"

"After work?"

"That's gonna be like 2 a.m., Joyce. I gotta close tonight. And I gotta get up early tomorrow. Got lots to do, and there's a student orientation going on tomorrow I gotta go to. And I gotta work tomorrow night, too…"

"Oh," Joyce says, disappointed. _Well, what, Joyce? She's got a life outside the bedroom. The fact you can't see her is your decision, not hers. You're the one that wants it QT._" Hey, I understand. I just needed to tell you some stuff…"

"Well, go ahead, Joyce. You got me now."

"Not on the phone, in person…"

"Oh… sounds serious…" Faith thinks a minute. "I could blow off work if …"

"No! It's.. it can wait, you know? I just… really wanted to see you…"

"Me too, baby, but this weekend looks crazy – crazy. Maybe Monday? I'll take you to lunch or something?"

"Yes, ok, that sounds fine," Joyce says, trying hard to hide her disappointment. "Monday's fine."

"Ok, babe. I really gotta motor."

"Ok, Faith, well… I'll see you."

"Back at ya, sexy," Faith can feel the blush through the phone.

"Love you…" Joyce says.

But the call has ended. She sits a moment, staring at her phone. Then she leaves her office, heading for the back gallery.

Faith stares at the cell in her hand, and feels some little guilt.

_Nice one, Faith. Blow off the most important woman in your life, cuz you're feeling a little hurt._

_I didn't blow her off! I just have things to do. And anyway, it's more than that._

_Things to do, huh? So much you couldn't find a little time tomorrow to meet her? Gee, what are you, like Donald Trump? Too busy with your important junk you can't make time for the most important person in the world to you?_

_Yeah, well, why'd she have to say those things? Make me feel like a child? I mean, I gave up a LOT to be here. My family, my friends, my life…_

_Yeah, great life. Being a sex toy for you're ex girlfriends porno shop, showing it off for the pervs. Great life you had there._

_I would've done something else, once I got outta the hole. I woulda gone back to my painting, gone to school, all the rest._

_Yeah, sure you would. You know she's the first person that really believed in you! Believed you were more than some Southie chick that would waste her life on nothing. God, you're a real shit sometimes, you know?_

_Yeah, well, she made me feel like shit. Like some kinda slut, the other night. I mean, she's ashamed to be with me! God, it's like I'm dog turd sometimes, I'm thinking!_

_Bullshit, and you know it. You know what kind of guy her ex is. What he'd do if he caught you two together. He'd take the kids from her, and they're super- important to her. You know that! But no, you gotta act like some kid who got caught stealing candy. Grow up, Faith. When she's ready, she'll make it known. Stop being a child!_

_I love her! I'm proud of her! Why can't she be the same with me?_

_Because she could lose everything that means anything to her. If you really loved her, you'd see that and stop acting like this!_

_God, I hate it when you're right! I really do!_

_So, what're you gonna do about it?_

_I dunno, call her tomorrow, surprise her. See if maybe we can get together._

_Finally, you're getting a brain. About time! I mean, especially if you're going to take Fundamentals of chemistry. Whew!_

_God, don't remind me! _

Faith, feeling a little better, resolved to patch up this little tear, walks towards her bike.

_It's gonna be ok, you watch!_

She starts up the bike, and with an extra accelerated roar, takes off towards the bar.

7

"I don't know, Buffy," Joyce sounds doubtful, "You should've asked me about it sooner!"

"Aw, mom!" Buffy huffs, sitting across from her mom at the breakfast table. "You gotta let me go!"

"I don't 'gotta' do any such thing, Buffy," Joyce's voice hardens just a shade, indicating she's entrenching her position. "You know the rules about parties."

"I know, mom, but I only learned about it last night," Buffy says, "I couldn't ask you last night, because you were already in bed. I asked you as soon as I could."

Dawn, sitting a little away from Buffy at the table, groans internally. _God, lie much, Buffy? Never mind you're ruining another meal. You're such a selfish …_

"I don't like it, Buffy. There are reasons for the rule. I don't know this Cordelia Chase person. Who is she?"

"She's like the daughter of the richest man in Sunnydale, Mom. And captain of the cheerleaders. This whole party is to welcome the new people to the team. I mean, you wanted me to get back involved with this stuff, right? How's it gonna look when I can't go? Like a snub, that's what! And _even_ if that doesn't get me kicked off the team, It'll be like I'm some kind of snob too good to go to the party. You gotta let me go, mom!"

"Again with the 'gotta', Buffy. I don't have to do anything, young lady."

Dawn takes another spoonful of cereal in her mouth and grins to herself. _Good, mom. Don't let her go. She's just going to get in trouble again, and make life like miserable around here again!_

Buffy, seeing she's run up against a wall, changes tack. She puts on a softer, calmer tone.

"Mom, I'm really sorry. I really didn't know about this party beforehand, or I would've told you about it."

_Liar, Buffy. You knew about this days ago!_ Dawn thinks, eating her cereal.

"It's not like before, mom. I promise. This is the cheerleaders and maybe some guys from the football and basketball teams. No losers, no druggies in the bunch. I know how bad I was last year, but I'm really trying to change," Buffy almost pleads with her, "I want to be a better daughter and student, I really do!"

_Lay it on thick, Buffy. Geeze._ Dawn stares down at her bowl.

"I know you do, Buffy," Joyce concedes, "and I don't want to be the mean old mom here. But after last year, I have to be careful…"

"Mom, I have to go to this. I really do, if I'm going to stay on the team. It's all about being part of a team, and not showing up would be an insult. Saying like I don't care if I'm on the team or not. Please, mom, just this once?"

Joyce sighs. She's tired of being thought of as "mean old mom". She loves Buffy, and she wants her to be happy. _And one little party can't be all that bad. And it's going to be with a good crowd…_

"Where's this party taking place, Buffy?"

"At Cordelia's house. Mr. Chase will be there to supervise," Buffy lies calmly through her teeth.

Dawn almost spits her food back into her bowl. _You great big liar! Oh, Buffy, I'm so gonna use this …_

"Where is that, exactly, Buffy?" Joyce inquires, looking sternly at Buffy.

"Over in Sunnydale Estates. It's a private, gated community. Security and everything. Gotta have an invite to get it. It's going to be safe, trust me."

_I wouldn't if I were you, mom!_ Dawn stares at the audacity of her sister.

Joyce thinks about it. _She's almost 18 now, almost an adult. I've got to let the reins go a little, give her a little sense of responsibility. I've got to learn to trust her a little bit… she's really trying, she's been better since I lifted restriction. And with everything going on, we all deserve a little fun, right? Geeze, Joyce, loosen up a little._

"Ok, Buffy. I'll make an exception. This once! But I want you home by 11."

"Mom, it's a weekend night! 1 a.m."

" This is not a negotiation. Midnight."

"Ok, mom, midnight." Buffy says, as if it's a great burden. But she's almost rubbing her hands in glee. _Did it! I did it! YAY ME!_

"That's totally unfair!" Dawn pipes up, "When I wanted to go to Melissa James birthday party last spring, you so didn't let me!"

"That was being held at some nightclub I'd never heard of before, and there weren't going to be any parents."

"It's still not fair," Dawn subsides. _Oh, Buffy. You're gonna owe me your ass for this one._

"Thanks, mom, you're the best!" Buffy jumps out of her chair, and goes over and hugs Joyce.

Joyce relishes the spontaneous affection of her daughter, so rare these days. She returns the hug.

Buffy starts off, heading for the door.

"Where are you going, Buffy?"

"Shopping. Gotta get something totally new and gossip worthy for the party."

"What's wrong with what you've got? You've got a lot of fine dresses you can wear to the party." Joyce says.

"They're so… last week, mom," Buffy shakes her head, never getting parent's priorities. "This is special, gotta get something special."

"Well, you've got chores to do first, young lady. Then if there's time, you can go shopping."

"Aw, mom!"

" Buffy. Chores first, or we can just forget the party."

Buffy rolls her eyes impatiently. _God, the things I gotta do!_ She walks back to the dining room.

Dawn chuckles quietly over her breakfast.

"What's so funny, Squirt?" Buffy frowns, picking up her plate.

"You are, Buffy," Dawn says, standing up with her bowl. She pauses by Buffy, and leans in close. "You so owe me, Buff." She whispers. She straightens up and heads for the kitchen.

Buffy, grabbing her bowl, follows her.

"What're you babbling, brat. How do I owe you?"

"For not telling mom where the party is _really_ going to be, and how there won't be a parent in sight." Dawn smiles wickedly. "Oh yeah, Buff. You owe me big time."

"Really?" Buffy arches a brow. "Well, if you feel that way about it, go tell her."

"Don't think I won't, Buffy."

" Go ahead, I mean you gotta do what you gotta do…"

"I will tell her Buffy. Then you can forget that party, and probably anything else after she grounds your butt," Dawn starts for the kitchen door.

"Brian Green," Buffy says, mildly.

Dawn stops in her tracks.

"What about Brian?"

"You know exactly 'what' about Brian, Dawnie," Buffy says in a sing song voice. "Wonder how mom would feel about what you did with him last summer?"

"You wouldn't!" Dawn turns an unpleasant shade of red. "You promised you wouldn't."

"Hmmm… well, since we're getting things off our chest, Dawnie, I figure I have this need to confess what I know…" She looks at her sister. "Wonder how mom would react to her little angel playing the skin flute?" Her grin turns hard. "Kinda makes the party pale in comparison, don't you think?"

Dawn's lips compress into a hard, straight line. Her eyes are frosty cold, and full of daggers.

"I hate you, Buffy Summers!" She hisses.

"Yeah, well…I'll live. Matter of fact, I'm thinking, you're going to volunteer to do my chores."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah, I need to go shopping you see, and I really don't want to have to rush. So, how bout it squirt?" She leans on the counter. "Or maybe mom would like to know where that nickname came from?"

Dawn looks like she wants to hit her sister. Instead, she just glares at her.

"Have fun, Dawnie," Buffy grins, walking out of the kitchen.

Dawn stands there, fuming.

_Enjoy it now, Buff. But I'm gonna get back at you for this._

_Believe it!_

Dawn, jaw clenched, leaves the kitchen.

8

"Sex on the Beach!" "Tequila shooter!" " Beer!"

Faith hustles around the small bar in the Alpha Mu house, feeling the sweat build on her forehead. She's been here a number of hours, coming before the party to help Mike set up the portable bar.

"I wanna Alabama Slammer." " Gimme a cold one." " Geeze, you call this a Cosmopolitan?" "Hey, where's my Mojito?"

Faith looks up at the crowd surrounding the bar, her hands flying over the bottles, pouring, shaking, serving. The clink of the bottles, the clatter of ice, the shaker and the glasses, the throbbing rhythm of the over cranked stereo, the shouting to be heard over the music are all serving to make her head pound. _Shit, this is worse than a Friday night shift, _Faith grunts as she dumps more ice into the tray in front of her. _Except these cheap bastards don't tip worth shit._ She notes her tip jar has very little in the way of appreciation .

"Hey, c'mon, where's my beer?" " Hurry up, I've been waiting forever!" "Did you get that? Jack on the rocks, no water…" " Geeze, can you go slower?"

Faith wonders why she took this gig again? _Oh yeah, needed the cash. And Mike said these parties tipped well. _She looks over at her nearly empty tip jar, and grimaces. _Well, that was a lie. Well, at least he paid me time and a half to do this gig. Now I know why… no one else would. _She turns around to get another group of bottles to replace the ones she's emptied, feeling the sweat start to build up under the uniform Mike made her wear. _Shit, I feel like a Vegas Dealer in this stupid costume,_ She grumbles, pulling at her tie to loosen it a bit. _At least a dealer gets a break between hands. Shit. _

The worst part were the morons trying to flirt with her while she was sweating her ass off to get the drinks out. You could always tell them, because they started ordering the sexually suggestive drinks : Buttery Nipple, Blow Job, Bald Pussy, and the rest. She'd glare at them, then tell them she didn't have the blender and/or ingredients for the drinks, and move on. Most would get the hint, but a few she had to bat drunken, misplaced hands away.

_So gonna get Mike for this. Easy gig my ass. God, I won't _Have _an ass after I finish tonight. _

"Where's my Mai Tai?" " Hey, c'mon, get me my beer." "Club soda. Think you can handle that one?"

Faith grins, and thinks up revenge scenarios involving well planted bombs up certain snotty college types' asses. She knows they're the customers, but they could be a little less rude about it. Still, she needs the job, and the money, she hauls ass trying to keep up.

"Hey, bartender, we need another keg upstairs," One of the frat brothers, Riley, shouts out to Faith.

"Kegs are in the common room. Go for it." Faith says, moving on to the next customer.

"Me? Hey, you're working here. Get it upstairs."

"Look, pal," Faith says while mixing a few drinks, "If you haven't noticed, I'm kinda busy here. Don't have time to haul a keg upstairs."

"Make time. We're not paying you to stand around." The frat boy slaps the bar, his cronies around him laughing. "You forget who you're working for?"

Faith, pushing a bunch of drinks at an anxious crowd, turns and glares at him. _Just be glad I don't have the ice hammer in my hands right now, baby, or I might pound out a tune on that conga drum you call a head._

"Look, I can't leave now. If you want it now, haul it yourselves. Otherwise, you wait til it slows down."

"Whatever, give me a four beers to go. Get the keg up there in half an hour, or I'm calling your boss, got it?"

Faith draws the beers, and shoves them towards Riley. She turns away, fuming. _Stupid spoiled rich prick. Yeah, call Mike. Right now, I'd tell him where to stick this fucking party._

"You think I can get my drink today?" " Hurry up!" "Where's that beer?" "What happened to my…"

Faith sighs, knowing this is going to be a _loooong_ night.

Buffy arrived at the Alpha Mu house about an hour earlier, ready to party. Dressed provocatively in a very short skirt, midriff top and heels, she was ready to take her place in with the 'cool ' crowd. The crowd that didn't go to the lame-o parties, but hung out with the college crowd. She looked hot, and knew it.

Opening the door, she is hit by a wall of sounds, sights and smells that screamed 'get your fine ass in here, get down and party, girl. No losers allowed.' She pushes her way through a crowd of people, looking for Cordelia and her gang. The noise is earsplitting: loud music competing with even louder shouts and laughter and chatter from the guests draped every which way on any surface that would hold them. She feels the sound in her bones even as her ears began to ring. Beer is the pervading perfume wafting through the air, mixed with cigarette smoke, pot and a few smells she can't, and didn't want to, identify.

Buffy is feeling a little nervous. It isn't that she hadn't been to parties before. Buffy is and ever will be the social animal. She's been to plenty of parties in her young life. What's freaking her a bit is she didn't see anyone she knew. She's used to mixing, and it's really hard when you didn't know _anyone_ at the shindig.

She's also feeling a little pissed. She was a few minutes late arriving at the Bronze … _Ok, half an hour. But I couldn't get away from my house any sooner. God, mom just HAD to think of last minute things I needed to do before I could go… you'd think they could've waited half an hour. Shit!_ Fortunately, Cordelia had left her a note with the Bronze bartender, telling her where the party was. Sooo… along with everything else, she had to pay for a cab to get here. _Damn, there goes this weeks allowance…_ and now, she couldn't find Cordelia, or any of the others. _Where the hell is she? This is the right house, right?_

"FRESH MEAT!"

Buffy, hearing the shout, turns and stares in horror as some drunken lout seems to be making a beeline for her. _Ohhhh… shit!_ She looks around desperately for an escape route; her way seems to be blocked on all sides. She braces for impact.

At the last moment, a tall guy steps out of the crowd, halting the drunken freight train pretending to be a student in its tracks. Buffy, feeling all sorts of relief, sighs audibly.

"Hey, whoa, Ralphie. Hold up. The girl's with me."

Ralph looks at the newcomer with a slightly out of focus look. " Riley? Old Buddy! Hey, man, wow. She's kinda hot. She's with you?" He turns, almost knocking Buffy out with his 150 proof breath. "He's with you?" He weaves in place.

"Oh, yeah, we go way back. Way, way back." Buffy says, linking her arm through Riley's.

"Oh, really? Well you looked all alone and lost there, just a minute ago …"Ralph burps magnificently. " 'cuse me. So, you go way back, huh? So what's your name, darlin?"

"Buffy."

"I never heard ole Riley boy here mention a Buffy before," Ralph looks at her suspiciously, which with his moon face, looks a bit piggish. "So whaz his name, then, if you know him so well, huh?"

"Riley," Buffy says, quietly.

"Yeah, that's right…" Ralph frowns. " What's her name?" Ralph turns on his erstwhile friend. "Huh? What is it, huh?"

" Buffy. I told you about Buffy, Ralphie," Riley smiles a ' Hi' to Buffy. He turns back to Ralph. " Don't you remember?"

"Huh? You did?" Ralph looks at him, then he gets all apologetic, his frown turning into a slightly apologetic smile. "Gee, sorry Riley. I forgot! I 'member now. Hey, Buffy, good to seeya again."

"Hi, Ralphie," Buffy smiles a little, waving to him.

"Well, sorry again…" Ralph looks around, and spots another cute girl. " FRESH MEAT!" He yells. He starts off, then stops and turns around. "Sorry, kids, gotta go. Gotta get the girl…" He stumbles away.

"Thanks," Buffy smiles up at Riley, who is rather easy on the eyes. "I wasn't sure if he wanted to dance with me, or trample me."

Riley grins, upping him even further on the Buffy cute guy scale. _An 8.5… maybe a nine… definitely cuteness potential here. Maybe with some later mass kissage._

"Don't mind Ralphie. He's ok, just gets a little rowdy when he gets in his cups," Riley puts his hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Of course, with Ralph, being drunk is a lifestyle, so he's often a bit of a lout. But a loveable lout. Just duck him and you're pretty safe." Riley smiles a megawatt smile, giving Buffy some definite tinge-worthy seconds. "So, haven't seen you at one of our parties before, Buffy. You knew to UC Sunnydale?"

"Actually…"

" Buffy! There you are!" A voice interrupts her before she can continue.

Cordelia, followed by Harmony and Aura, breaks through the crowd. Each is accompanied by what could only be called a college jock: Tall, muscular and handsome in a blank, don't use the brains too much kind of way.

Cordelia separates from the entourage, and going to Buffy, takes her in a hug.

"Hey, you. I was about to give up on you. Glad you could make it!"

Buffy smiles, feeling the love. Then she gets a little squicky feeling in her tummy when the hug seems to last just a bit beyond her comfort zone. She gently breaks away, still smiling.

"Sorry I was late. I had like a bazillion things that I had to do at the last minute."

"No worry, Buff. You're here now, that's what's important." She gives Buffy the once over, and gives her a low whistle. "Nice outfit, girlfriend. New?" She reaches over, and jiggles Buffy's belly ring. "How 'bout this?"

Buffy feels Cordelia's eyes raking over her, and her touchy feely approach is beginning to get a little uncomfortable. _Oh, lighten up, Summers. It's a party, she's probably had a few and is feeling good, is all._

"That old thing?" She grins. "I got that last year. The outfit, however, is new. You like?"

" Oh, I like," Cordelia smirks, noticing Riley also giving Buffy a few good glances. She leans in. "I see you met Riley. He's ROTC. Major cool, huh? I think _he _likes, too."

Buffy blushes, and Cordelia makes a mental note. _Hmmm… well, maybe I see who's going to break in this filly tonight. _

"Hey, you know the girls, Buffy. Guys, this is Buffy, the one I was talking about. Buffy, this is Peter, John and… what was your name again, cutie?" She addresses the boy with Aura.

"Luke" He says, grinning. "Nice to meet you, Buffy."

"And it seems, you already met Riley," Cordelia gives Buffy a nudge. "Way to go, girl."

"Yeah, Riley here rescued me from the Raging Ralphie," Buffy smiles at Riley, who smiles back, a little shyly.

"That's our Riley," Peter, the one with Harmony, pipes up. "A regular boy scout. Always out to rescue the damsel in distress. Especially if she's a cute blonde."

"Hey!" Harmony playfully hits Peter's arm. However, her eyes are anything but playful.

"Well, you're a cute blonde, too, Harm," Peter chuckles, "Just you haven't needed rescuing… yet."

"Hey, what're we standing around here for, anyway?" Cordelia says, "The real party's upstairs."

"The real party?" Buffy looks around at the crowd. "What's this? A church meeting?"

"No," Riley, coming up next to Buffy, laughs. "This is the plebe's party. For the lower classmen. We have our own party upstairs. Wanna come?" He grins at Buffy. "I promise, Raging Ralphie won't find you up there."

"Sounds good," Buffy smiles at him. Her head is already beginning to pound a little from the noise and smells. "I'm hoping it's a little … noisy?"

"Oh yeah," Luke puts in, "You can actually hear yourself think up there." He covers his ears, shaking his head.

"What're we waiting for?" Buffy says, brightly. "Lead on, McDuff."

"Er, name's Luke," Luke says, taking Aura by the arm, and heading towards the stairs.

_Hmmm… ok, not so good on the brain power, _Buffy thinks to herself. Then she watches John , Peter and Riley follow. _Of course, I'm not here to party with Einstein, either. _She grins.

"So, what do you think?"

Buffy almost jumps out of her skin. She forgot Cordelia was standing next to her.

"I'm thinking… if all college guys got such cute butts, I'm looking forward to college."

Cordelia smiles, nodding. "Yeah, they are definitely drool worthy. And I'm thinking Riley is really digging you…" She watches Buffy out of the corner of her eye.

Buffy blushes pink. " You think?"

"Oh, yeah," Cordelia says, hooking her arm through Buffy's "I definitely think." She pulls Buffy along. "Let's motor, girl. Party awaits."

As they climb the stairs, Cordelia is definitely aware of the warmth of Buffy's skin on her arm, and the slight, vanilla citrus smell she gives off.

Cordelia can barely contain the strong urge to push Buffy up against a wall, and give her a tongue lashing she'd never forget. Already a bit tipsy on beer, Buffy being so close is definitely making her warm. Very warm.

_And it's going to get a whole lot warmer before morning._

"Oh yeah, now this is better."

Buffy sits back on the couch, relaxing a little. Unlike the downstairs party, this is a lot quieter. The music is still dance music, but not ear splitting. There are fewer people, and they are either dancing, or sitting on sofas, chairs and pillows around the room, talking at reasonable levels. No breaking glass, no screams and no wandering jocks pretending to be rhinos in mating seasons. All in all, a much more _mature_ party.

She's still a little wound up, and feeling a bit out of sorts. However her jangled nerves are starting to un-jangle, and sitting next to Riley is proving to be very comforting. _He's been sitting next to me for half an hour, and hasn't tried pawing me. He's a real nice guy._ A slightly puzzled look comes over her face. _Why is that? I mean, aren't I like cute and sexy? Doesn't he like me?_

"Hey, brought you something," A hand comes down on her shoulder, and she looks up to see Cordelia looking down at her. "Thought you could use a little liquid reinforcements." _And maybe a little of the liquid happy I added to it._

"Thanks," Buffy says, taking the glass from Cordelia. She looks at the glass for a moment, then leans forward to put it on the table. "Maybe I shouldn't."

"Aw, c'mon, Buff. It's a party," Cordelia slides over the sofa, sitting next to Buffy. A little of her own drink spills. "Oops." She giggles, and leans in. "C'mon Buffy, it's just _beer._ I know you've had _beer_ before. C'mon, don't be a wuss."

"Not a wuss, Cor," Buffy protests, "I just got off restriction. Trying to stay off for awhile, ya know?" Buffy shakes her head, "When I came home from the last little adventure we had, I got grounded for a month cuz I was tipsy."

"Oh, for god's sake, Buffy. One beer isn't going to make you tipsy," Cordelia makes a face. "C'mon. Riley is looking at you. He's probably wondering if you're adult enough to have a drink. Geeze, Buff. Do you want him to think you're a kid?"

Buffy looks over, and sees Riley looking at her. _Damn, he's sooo cute. God I don't want him thinking I need diapers. Cripes! It's just one beer…_

"You're right. God, I'm being like totally weird," Buffy laughs, a little nervously. She leans over, retrieving her glass. "I mean, it's a party, right? Right?" She takes a sip of the beer. "Mmmm, good…"

"Hey, Buffy. You're new here, " Riley says, sliding closer. "We have a tradition at Alpha Mu. Newbies gotta chug their first drink. "

"What?" Buffy looks doubtful.

"C'mon Buff. Everyone's looking. Don't let me down here," Cordelia prods her a little.

"It's pretty weak kneed beer, Buffy," Riley leans over, encouraging her. "Heck, one chug won't do squat. Trust me."

"Do it, Buffy."

"Yeah, c'mon Buffy," Harmony, standing behind the couch, leans over. "We all had to do it. What's wrong, chicken?"

Buffy, hating the sneer in Harmony's voice, needs to show her up.

"Show YOU who's chicken," Buffy mutters. She tilts back her head, and opens her mouth, pouring the beer down her throat.

"Chug, Chug, Chug, Chug!" The chant goes up around the room.

Buffy shotguns the beer down her throat, the sits forward, and brings the glass down with a crash. " There ya go!" She looks around, smiling.

A cheer goes up around the room, and suddenly Buffy feels a warm glow suffuse through her. _They really like me! They totally think I'm cool!_

The glow spreads through her, making her feel warm and wonderful. She feels her inhibitions start to drop away.

"Yeah!" She cries out, picking up her glass and slamming it down again. "Another beer!"

"That's a girl," Cordelia squeezes her arm, grabbing Buffy's glass. As she walks over to the keg, she grins to herself.

_My little girl is on her way. Hmmm… this is gonna be sooo fun…_

Faith is leaning against the doorjamb in the kitchen, taking a much deserved break.

Her whole body is aching, and she has a raging headache. _God, between the cigarettes and the pot, I can barely breathe in here._ She takes a lungful of fresh air, trying to revive herself. _Haven't these guys heard of air conditioning?_

She looks at her watch. _Thank god, only another hour. Then I can pack up the bar and get my weary ass outta this joint. Man, I don't care if I never get a weekend shift. I'm not doing one of these again._

"Hey, there you are," Riley walks across the kitchen. "You forget something?"

_Aw, fuck!_

"Hey, just taking a break. Be right with ya, ok?"

"No, not ok. I told you to bring up that beer half an hour ago, and we still don't have it. Did you forget you're working here?"

_Man, if only!_

"No, but I gotta right to a break, pal, same as anyone. Been busting my hump for hours, ya know? I'll be with ya in …" She looks at her watch,"… 5 minutes."

"I guess you're not comfortable with the whole employer/ employee dynamic, are you?" Riley looks at her with some distaste. "Get it straight. You're on the clock for another hour. We paid for the service, and frankly, you're not performing your duties as expected. We do a lot of business with your boss, and I'm pretty sure he'd be upset if we pulled our business because one of one of his employees refusing a reasonable request. Never mind I've heard a lot of complaints about you already from our guests. I mean, have you ever tended bar before? So, I'd get your butt off the doorjamb, and get that beer upstairs pronto. Or, I'm going to have to make that call."

Faith stares at him for a moment, then pushing off the doorway, walks into the kitchen. She walks up to Riley, and pats him on the chest.

"Don't worry, bud, you're gonna get your beer right now," She smirks at him. She starts to walk away, then turns, and smiles at him. "Know what? Every time I've had a guy give me a speech like that, I usually find they have balls the sizes of a pea, and a toothpick dick. So, tell me, Jock boy. Can I pick my teeth with your dick?"

Not waiting for an answer, she walks over, and grabbing the little hand truck, slides it under a keg. She turns, and chuckling, walks the keg out of the kitchen.

An hour later, after chugging quite a few more beers, Buffy is really, really in the party hearty mood. She has somehow lost her heels, and now, just in her stockings, she's on the coffee table, doing a little impromptu belly dance for an admiring crowd of jocks, who have surrounded her. Her hips are rolling back and forth, and she's shaking her tummy and chest, showing off her belly ring. Her top has magically come off, and she's down to a bra, using the top like a boa, sliding around various admirers' necks. Some reach out and try to get a free feel of her cute little ass or other charming assets, but she giggles and slaps them away, teasing them further.

Cordelia leans against a wall, watching Buffy's little show. She smiles , knowing the GHB she slipped in Buffy's drink is working perfectly. She licks her lips, thinking how nice it'll be to taste that little tease, licking her clean of the cum deposited in her sweet box. She particularly enjoys the taste of mixed sexes cum. _Just a few more beers, sweetie, and those legs of yours are gonna fly apart for anyone. Just think of it as initiation, lover. All my other little whores have pulled the train, it's just your turn to hook up the cabooses, baby._ She smiles, feeling a strong wet warmth between her legs. _Maybe I'll even join you in the fun, Buffy. After all, been awhile since I've pulled the train. Might be nice… and after, honey, I'm gonna make you scream like you've never screamed before._

She pushes off the wall, approaching the coffee table where Buffy's dancing. Elbowing her way in, she leans up next to John, her 'date' for the evening.

"Enjoying the show?"

"Oh yeah," John turns to her, leering a little. "You're right, this one is a little hottie."

Cordelia slides her hand over his pants, feeling his interest.

"So I see," She purrs. "Your boys are going to have some fun tonight. I might even join in." She squeezes him gently. "Would you like that?"

"Oh yeah," John's breathing becomes heavier. "Been awhile since you put it out there. I know how good it can be."

Cordelia looks over, and watches Buffy gyrate. She notes the glassy cast to her eyes, and nods.

"Maybe it's time you took her next door and got her ready."

John smiles, and signaling some of the other guys, starts to walk towards Buffy. Cordelia catches his sleeve.

"Just remember. Afterwards, she's all mine. Got it?"

"Don't worry, Cor. I know the drill," John smiles, pulling away.

_Yeah, I know you do. And how to use it._

Faith exits the little service elevator, and pushing the little hand truck in front of her, walks down the hall towards the music.

_Well, at least it's not blaring up here, thank god._

She walks into the common room upstairs, and over towards the empty keg. Hauling it down, she puts up the fresh keg, and taps it. Testing the nozzle, she then puts the old keg on the truck and starts to leave.

_Geeze, what was peanut brain's hurry, anyway? Everybody seems to be cool…_

She looks around, noticing most are busy doing something even more common to college kids than drinking. _Group grope,_ she chuckles, shaking her head. _So, this is college life, huh? Looks like any sleazy club after midnight. Except the clubbers dress better._

She leaves the party, heading back towards the elevator.

"NO!"

A voice, sounding definitely distressed, comes from behind her. She stops, and turns around.

_What the fuck?_ She listens for a minute, and not hearing it repeated, shrugs and turns to leave.

"No! STOP IT!"

_Oh, fuck… that doesn't sound good._

_Yeah, well, what're you gonna do about it, huh?_

She stands there a minute, frozen.

"HELP! STOP! NO, PLEASE… STOP!"

_Aw, shit!_

Pulling out her cell phone, she dials 911 while she heads down the hall.

Buffy isn't sure what's going on, but she knows she's not liking it too much.

She finds herself surrounded by a bunch of men, and they're pulling and tearing at her clothes.

"Lemme alone!" She yells, batting weakly at a guy who's grabbing her, holding her still.

"Stop fighting it, bitch. It's going to happen," Riley hisses at her, holding her arms behind her. "Just relax and enjoy it." In one swift motion, he rips off her skirt.

"No… no… STOP IT!" She yells, trying to hit or scratch or bite him. Something to stop him.

"Buffy, stop fighting it!" Cordelia, already half naked, comes over to her. She stands next to Buffy, caressing her face. "It's gonna be fun, trust me."

"I don't wanna do this!" Buffy whimpers, looking at the guys around her. Most are halfway naked, having lost their shirts. "I've never… " She looks at Cordelia, and whispers "I'm a virgin!"

"She's a virgin? Shit, I've never had a virgin before!" Riley grins, pawing at her. "Nice one, Cor."

Buffy looks confused, and she looks at Cordelia. " You did this? You set this up?"

"It's going to be ok, Buffy. Believe me, virginity is way overrated," She slips her arms around Buffy. " We'll be gentle." She leans in to kiss Buffy.

"NOOOOO stop IT!" Buffy struggles to get away from her. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

There's a crashing sound, followed by the door flying open. Faith enters, holding what looks to be a thick table leg in each hand.

"Back off, boyo. She doesn't want it."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Riley growls, turning to face Faith.

"Well for one, keeping you from raping the girl," She starts swinging a leg like a baseball bat. She gets a good look at the victim. " You!"

"What're you guys doing? Get the bitch!" Riley yells.

"I wouldn't do that," Faith yells, holding up the bats. "The police are on the way right now. Wonder what they're gonna do to you for raping a minor?"

The others, already confused, hesitate.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Riley, frustrated, pushes Buffy away from himself. He advances on Faith. "I shoulda kicked your skanky ass outta here an hour ago."

Faith doesn't hesitate. She brings both table legs together alongside Riley's head. He goes down like a tree hit by a sharp axe.

"Anyone else?" She swings around, facing the crowd, both arms raised.

The others, seeing Riley go down, back off. They stand around looking, well, sheepish. Like little boys caught in a circle jerk.

Faith smirks. "Didn't think so," She goes over to Buffy, who's standing next to Cordelia.

"Thank god you showed up!" Cordelia comes around Buffy, looking terrified. "They were gonna… rape us!"

Buffy, looking confused and zoned, just stands there, not moving.

_Something really stinks here,_ Faith thinks to herself, taking an immediate dislike to Cordelia for no rational reason.

"Well, get the fuck outta here," Faith growls, pulling Buffy along with her. "I figure the police will be here any minute."

The faint sounds of sirens can be heard in the distance.

"Shit. Shit, shit. shit!" Peter, one of the participants, seems to wake up. "We're gonna be busted. SHIT! This CAN'T HAPPEN!" He turns to the others. "C'mon, we gotta get outta here!"

Faith, not waiting to get caught in the panic escape, drags Buffy along with her, running down the hall.

"C'mon, kid, hurry up," She growls at the drunken Buffy, who is stumbling and falling, slowing their progress. "Don't think you wanna be here when the cops show up."

She gets halfway down the stairs, and stops.

The house is in general panic. People are rushing the exits, trying to get out before the police show up. There is the sound of toilets flushing, and people screaming as some start to get trampled in the general panic.

"Shit, this isn't going to work," She groans, as Buffy again stumbles into the stair railing, almost going over.

Whether out of panic or just frustration, Faith grabs Buffy, and grunting heavily, manages to throw her on her shoulder. Struggling a little under the sudden added wait, she makes it down to the first floor.

Seeing the crowd heading towards the front entrance, she works her away around, heading for the kitchen. As she passes, she sees the portable bar. It's been trashed in the general melee.

_Mike's gonna have a fit! _ Faith thinks, forcing her way through to the kitchen. Once there, she crosses to the still open door and out into the night.

Faith makes her way across the lawn, towards her bike. She sees the patrol cars starting up the lane, and she stops.

_Shit, don't wanna explain why I have a naked teenage girl on my shoulder, and running away from the scene. And fuck, I can't get her on my bike, anyway. Shit, shit, shit!_

She turns, and starts off in another direction, hoping to make some kind of cover before the police pull up. _God, this totally sucks. Why does this shit always happen to me?_

She spots a group of bushes ahead, and makes for it. "Perfect," she mutters.

"Hold it right there!"

Faith freezes. She slowly turns around, to see a Campus security officer approaching her.

"What's going on?"

"Oh man, I'm so glad you're here," Faith decides to bluff, "We were at the Alpha Mu house, and someone was getting raped. I got my friend out here, but there's still a lot of shit going down back there."

"Why're you carrying her? What's wrong with her?" The officer approaches closer.

"She's drunk, Officer. I told her not to go to the party, but she didn't listen. She's already like on probation; this'll get her kicked outta school. Please, don't report us. Please? Just let me get her back to her dorm, so she can sleep it off. Please, sir?"

The officer hesitates for a moment, then waves her off.

"Get her home. I think she's been through enough."

"Thank you, god, thank you!"

Faith turns, starting to walk away.

"Wait a minute!"

_Aw, shit!_

"Officer?"

"Here," The officer shrugs off his coat, offering it to Faith. "you better get her covered up. You can return it to the security office later, ok?"

"Thanks. Thanks a lot!"

The security officer starts away.

Faith, tired, lowers Buffy off her shoulder, and to the ground. She pulls her to her feet.

"Can you stand? Can you walk?" She asks of the dazed girl

Buffy just stares at her blankly.

_God, how do I get myself into this crap!_

"Here, put this on." She puts the officer's coat around Buffy's near naked body. "God, how did you get yourself in that mess, anyway?"

Not expecting an answer, Faith goes to put Buffy back on her shoulder, when Buffy pushes her away.

"I.. I can … walk," Buffy says, trying to wrap the coat around herself. "Don't need help!" She turns, gets about 4 steps, and her knees start to give out on her. She sinks to her knees. "Oops."

"Yeah, sure you can," Faith comes over to her, helping her up. Throwing Buffy's arm over her shoulder, she puts an arm around her waist. "C'mon, dumb ass, let's get you home."

Buffy pushes at her, trying to free herself. "Not a dumb ass. Let me alone!"

Faith grips her tighter around the waist, and starts walking.

"Maybe not. Just a spoiled brat that almost got herself raped tonight. Wait, that pretty much spells dumb ass in my book."

Buffy shoves Faith hard, managing to break free.

"Get away from me! Tole you, don't need no help!" She stumbles off, and gets a couple of yards this time before going to her knees.

Faith comes over, and grabs her roughly, pulling her up.

"Fuck you!" Buffy sneers at her, but doesn't fight to get away.

"Not in a million years, Blondie," Faith grips her tightly. " now, lets go."

Slowly, trying to guide the stumbling, resistant girl, Faith heads towards town.

9

It's well past midnight before the cab pulls up at 1630 Revello drive.

"Are you sure this is the place, _this_ time?" Faith growls.

So far, Buffy has given her half a dozen different addresses, all wrong.

After leaving the campus, Faith used her cell phone to call a cab. Then, they had to wait half an hour for it to show up. When it finally did, it took some fast, creative talking to get the cabbie to actually pick them up.

Then came the joyride. Faith asked her where home was, and Buffy told her an address. They got there, but it was an empty lot. The next address? The Bronze. Then a store in the main drag; a house, but the wrong house; the mall; and finally, here.

"Are you _sure_ you live here?" Faith turns to her. "This is your house, right?"

"Uh-huh," Buffy nods.

"Well, if it aint, I'm just dropping you on the porch, and you can make your own way home. I'm tired of this crap."

Faith is especially tired because Buffy has turned from hostile to amorous, over the course of the cab ride._ This is just great. I can see just see the conversation with Joyce on Monday. " So, how'd your night go on Saturday?" "Just swell, Joyce. I did a party with a bunch of rude, obnoxious college kids. And, oh, nearly got my head ripped off by some guy trying to rape an underage kid. Oh, and I took the kid home and she started hitting on me. Best night of my fucking LIFE!"_

"C'mon, dumb ass, let's get you inside," Faith says, simultaneously trying to pull Buffy out of the cab while Buffy tries to get into Faith's pants. _Shit, this couldn't have happened to me when I was like 17. _" Stop that!"

Buffy pouts, standing outside the cab dressed only in an oversized uniform coat. Faith pays off the cab.

"Ok, girl. Let's get ya to your door, see if ya got a key, and get ya inside. Shit, I should ring the bell and let your ma take care of ya." Faith, exhausted, falls back on her Southie accent. "Yer nothin' but a peck o trouble, are ya, ya little git."

"You talk funny," Buffy smiles. "Kinda cute."

"Yeah, well ya smell funny. Not at all cute." Faith wrinkles her nose. "C'mon, let's go."

The two make it up the sidewalk, Buffy leaning heavily on Faith, much more than she needs to. Faith keeps stopping, having to slap away her hands, which keep trying to unbutton her clothes.

"God, what the hell did they feed ya at that party? Stop it!" She growls, maneuvering the drunk and amorous Buffy up onto the porch.

"Where's your key?" Faith asks, suddenly getting a sinking feeling._ Aw, crap!_

"In my purse…" Buffy looks confused. "Where's my purse?"

"I'm thinking, back at the Alpha Mu house." Faith sighs. "Well, guess there's no help for ya, Blondie. We're gonna have to knock."

"No, we don't gotta. We could climb on the roof…" Buffy points up at the porch roof. "My bedroom's right up there."

"Na uh… I'm thinkin, I don't want to be facing the business end of your daddy's shotgun, thanks."

Before Buffy can protest, Faith knocks loudly on the door.

"Why'd you do that?" Buffy suddenly sounds panicked. "I'm so gonna be in trouble! Shit, why'd you knock?"

It's too late for questions as the porch light comes on. Faith disengages herself from Buffy, merely supporting her at the back so she doesn't fall over.

The door starts to open, and Faith starts talking before she can see who's at the door.

"Sorry, Ma'am, but I found this at a college party and I was thinking…"

She gets that far when she sees who's standing at the door.

"Joyce?" Faith's stomach starts to churn.

"Faith?" Joyce stares at Faith, then turns to the girl standing next to her. " Buffy?" Her eyes go wide, and she turns back to Faith." What're you doing with my daughter? And why is she nearly naked?"

_Aw, shit!_


	12. Chapter 12

A change of seasons, Part 11 

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Feedback: yeah

1

Joyce stands in the doorway, looking at Faith with a tightened jaw and compressed lips.

"Well, do you have anything to say at all?" Joyce asks, impatiently.

Faith on the other hand, stands there feeling foolish and slightly guilty. She struggles to hold up Buffy, who's almost dead weight in her arms, and tries to come up with some explanation. Then it hits her.

Wait a goddamn minute! I didn't do anything WRONG!

"Joyce, don't ya think maybe we should get Buffy upstairs first"  
Faith says quietly, "We can talk about this later, right?"

"Mom!" Buffy suddenly comes alive, looking at her mother with slightly out of focus eyes. "Look what I found!" She turns to Faith, draping her arms over her. "Isn't she cute? Can I keep her?"

Thanks a bunch, Blondie. You're so helping here. Faith lets out a sigh.

"What's wrong with her?" Joyce says, "Why is she acting like this?"

"She's drunk, Joyce. And I think they slipped something in her drink." Faith is fighting off Buffy, who at the moment is trying to pet her like a poodle. "Can we just get her upstairs and put to bed?"

"Bed? I'm not sleepy. I wanna… have fun!" Buffy breaks away from Faith, and starts dancing around a little on the porch. "Hey, whoa!  
Who's spinning the house?" She leans wobbly over to Faith, "is it you? Are you spinning the house? Hmmm?" She starts to giggle, then her legs give out from under her. "Whoops!" Then the happy look disappears, and her forehead wrinkles. "Hey, I don't…" then she falls over on the porch.

Faith sighs, and goes to pick up the fallen girl. Joyce comes out to help, and between them they start to lead the semi-conscious Buffy towards the stairs.

Joyce is silent, but Faith can read the anger in her eyes. What? She thinks I did this to her? I took her out and got her drunk? Faith feels her anger rising as they ascend the staircase. Well, I guess it's true. No good deed goes unpunished…

At the top of the stairs, Buffy suddenly comes alive, stiffening in the two women's arms.

"I… don't feel so… good…" Buffy moans, her face taking a sudden greenish cast. She starts to struggle in their grip.

"Oh… shit…" Faith turns to Joyce, "Where's the bathroom?"

"This way," Joyce leads the way, mom suddenly taking over. "Help me get her to the…"

But it's too late. Buffy suddenly lurches a bit, and hurls on the bathroom floor.

"Fuck!" Faith swears, taking the sick girl from Joyce and forcing her towards the toilet. "I got her. You might wanna clean that up before we all start barfing," Faith feels her own gorge rise,  
smelling Buffy's vomit.

She holds the young woman's head over the toilet as Buffy vomits some more.

Joyce sighs, watching her eldest daughter being sick while held by her lover. She turns and starts to fetch a bucket and mop from the pantry downstairs.

"Mom?"

Joyce turns to see her younger daughter in the hallway, rubbing her eyes and looking sleepy.

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing, Dawn. Go back to bed."

"I heard the commotion, and… " She looks in the bathroom, and sees Buffy being held by another woman. A strange woman. "Who's that"  
She looks closer. "Is Buffy naked?" Her eyes go wide. "Buffy's NAKED!"

"Dawn, please. Buffy's ill. Just go back to bed; there's nothing you can do!" Joyce snaps at her, losing her patience.

Dawn looks at the tableau in the bathroom, than back to her mom.

"But…"

"Now, Dawn! Go to bed!"

Dawn gets that look only teenage girls can get when thwarted.

"Fine!" She turns on a dime, and huffs back to her room, closing the door none too gently.

Joyce lets out a breath, then turns and goes to get a bucket and mop.

Dawn has no intention of following her mother's orders. She peeks out, and seeing Joyce gone, hurries to the bathroom.

She's greeted by the stench of drying vomit, which makes her stomach turn over. She looks in, to see Buffy, looking pale and wan,  
holding onto the toilet. Over her, holding her head in position, is a strange brunette woman.

"Hey," Dawn whispers.

Faith looks up, and arches a brow.

"Hey, who're you?"

"That's my question," Dawn says, "Who're you?" She looks at Buffy. "What happened to her?" She smirks. "Why is my sister naked?"

"She got drunk… now she's paying for it." Faith turns back to Buffy,  
who has a session of dry heaves.

"God, it stinks in here," Dawn pinches her nose to keep the smell out.

"No kidding?" Faith lets out a breath. "So, who are you?"

"You first."

Faith rolls her eyes.

"I'm Faith. I kinda brought your sister home."

"Hey, I'm Dawn."

"Glad to meetcha…" Buffy suddenly has another spasm. "Whoops, here we go again." Faith holds Buffy's head while another ribbon of spew comes up.

"Oh, GROSS!" Dawn makes a face.

"Dawn Marie Summers!" an angry voice makes Dawn jump. "Didn't I tell you to go to bed!"

She turns to see her mom, red faced, glaring at her.

"But, mom…"

"No buts, young lady. Bed, now!"

"Aw, poop. You never let me in on the good stuff," Dawn turns to go back to her room. "I'm not a child, you know!"

"Da-aa-awn!" Joyce's voice gets that tone that says one more word and you're in trouble missy. Dawn backs off.

"I'm going, I'm going, geeze" She mutters, walking towards her room. "God, Buffy screws up and I get the heat. It's not fair." Her door slams, again.

Joyce feels her shoulder's slump, and she can feel the hurt welling up in her breast. She covers it, though, and instead puts down the bucket and pulls out the mop.

Joyce's body language isn't lost on Faith, however. She gets up and takes the mop.

"I'll get that. I think she's done… for now. Maybe you should put her to bed? Well…" She looks at Buffy, and notes the vomit on her body. "Cleaning her up a bit first might be better."

Buffy sits leaning on the toilet, looking pale. She mutters something over and over.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Joyce goes to her daughter, and helping her up, steers her toward the tub.

Faith grabs the rags Joyce brought, and spreads them on the floor,  
to pick up Buffy's little gift. After the rags do their work, Faith piles them in a corner… hopefully, she'll burn them… and gets the mop, starting to clean the floor.

Joyce at this point has shoved her daughter into the shower, and turning it on, gets squeals out of Buffy.

"Wha? What're you doing? Drown me? Trying to drown me?"

"Buffy, hold still," Joyce says firmly. Using a bath sponge and soap, she starts to wash down her daughter's front. "Stop wriggling around, Buffy!"

Buffy bats at Joyce's hands, trying to make her stop. She moves away from her, opposite the doors, arms crossing over herself protectively.

"Don't. Lemme alone. Don't!" Buffy bats at Joyce, "Don't DO that! I don't wanna…" She starts to weep. "Just lemme 'lone, lemme go!"

Joyce, struggling with the recalcitrant teenager, is getting rather soaked by the shower.

"Buffy, stop acting this way. I just want to clean you up and put you to bed…"

"Joyce, let me help…"

"Haven't you helped enough?" Joyce, frustrated, whirls on her. "I can handle my daughter."

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, she's regretting it. She sees the look in Faith's eyes, and her heart sinks. Shoot, what the hell am I doing? She's just trying to help me.

"Faith, I'm…"

"It's ok, Joyce," Faith says, grabbing the bucket and mop, stuffing the stinking rags under her arm. "I'll take care of these. You take care of her."

"Faith…" Joyce calls out, but Faith is already out of the bathroom.  
Again, she feels a stab of hurt, but again covers it, turning to her daughter.

Buffy is standing under the shower now. She's gone quiet, compliant.  
She looks like a drowned hamster.

"Ok, Buffy, let's get you finished," Joyce says, turning off the taps, and pulling Buffy out of the shower.

"Mom?" Buffy seems to be more aware, more sober. "What's going on?"

Joyce grabs a towel, and starts drying off her daughter. It's déjà vu time for her. This is something she used to do when Buffy was a little girl. Except that was pleasant, and this wasn't.

"We'll talk about it in the morning, Buffy."

Joyce shucks off her robe, now half soaked, and leads Buffy to her room. Sitting her daughter on the bed, she goes over, and gets a large nightshirt for the girl; Buffy's usual sleepwear.

"Put up your arms, honey," Joyce says, slipping the shirt over her head as Buffy raises her arms. "There… now, you should get some sleep."

"Where'd she go?"

"Who, Buffy?"

"The girl. Faith? Where'd she go?"

"She went downstairs, Buffy."

"She hates me, right?" Buffy says, looking down at her hands.

"No, Buffy, she doesn't hate you," Joyce sits next to her. "I think she's shook up by what happened, but she doesn't hate you."

"You hate me though, don't you?" Buffy slides away a little.

"No, I don't hate you either. I'm upset, yes, and I'm disappointed.  
But I could never hate you, honey."

"I'm sorry, mom," Buffy says, looking up at her, "I really am."

"I know, Buffy," Joyce has heard this before. "Get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

Buffy lies down, and Joyce stands up, heading towards the door.

"Mom?"

Joyce turns to look.

"What is it, dear?"

"C-Could you tell her I'm sorry, please?"

"All right, Buffy, Joyce switches out the light. "Good night."

She walks out the door, closing it behind her.

Buffy lays in the darkness, eyes wide open. What happened? What did I do? Did I … I remember drinking beer and feeling really … mmmm …  
good … and… oh…then there were all these guys, and…I don't remember…  
I don't REMEMBER!

I didn't do nothing! I know I didn't! Did I? Oh god, am I some kind of.. NO! Maybe?… it's so fuzzy… I wish I could just remember…

Do you? Do you really? Then what? I mean, what does it matter, after what you've done, Buffy? Hmmm? And did it help, really? Did it change anything? No!

You know you're worthless, Buffy. You're a waste of space. No one wants you; they'd be happier if you'd just disappear. It's all the same; just like before. You can't do anything right…

She buries her face in the pillow, biting it to stifle her sobs. If only she could just not think about it anymore.

If only she could stop thinking about everything. If she could just stop.

She just wants to sleep. To forget.

2

Joyce finds Faith down in the living room, pacing back and forth in front of the window.

Faith looks at her with hardened eyes, her mouth a grim slash on her face.

"Is she ok now? Did you get her settled down?" Faith asks, her voice tight.

"Yes she's sleeping. At least, she's laying down quietly," Joyce moves into the living room, standing just inside the doorway. "Thank you, Faith, for bringing her home safe."

Faith just looks at her, and for a few moments there's nothing but silent tension between the two.

"I guess I better be going then," Faith heads towards the door. She stops and sighs. "Can I borrow some money for cab fare? I left my bike at the college. I used what I had getting us here."

"Faith, you don't have to go," Joyce walks over to her. "Why don't you stay? I mean, you can sleep on the sofa. I'll get you some blankets and a pillow, ok?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Joyce," Faith looks at her with smoldering eyes. "I really need to go. Can I borrow the money or not?"

"Faith, please don't be stubborn. Stay. I need you to stay," Joyce lays a hand on her arm. "I really need to talk to you about what happened…"

"There's nothing to talk about," Faith says, shaking off her hand. "You've pretty much made up your mind what happened. And I really need to be elsewhere right now…" She shakes her head, and walks to the door. "Forget the money, I'll walk home."

"Faith, don't be ridiculous. It's nearly 5 miles to your place. You wouldn't get home til dawn."

"Wouldn't be the first time." She opens the door, "later, Joyce."

A chill passes through Joyce. She realizes if Faith walks out that door now, she may never see her again.

She rushes to Faith, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Joyce, please, let me go, all right? Right now, I don't want to be here!"

"Faith, stop! Please!" Joyce runs over to her, catching her arm. "Don't go, please…I'm divorcing Hank!"

If Joyce wanted to freeze Faith in her tracks, she succeeded beyond her expectations.

Faith looks at her, mouth half open.

"What?"

"I'm going to divorce Hank."

Faith suddenly seems to come alive. All the anger seems to have vaporized out of her eyes. She starts to slide her arms around Joyce's neck when they hear a creak on the stair. Startled, they almost explode away from each other, as if they were doing something wrong.

Buffy, looking pale and bedraggled, walks into the foyer. She catches the look on their faces, however.

"What's going on?"

"Buffy, what're you doing out of bed?" Joyce asks, going to her daughter.

"I feel ucky. I was getting some water." She looks back and forth at them. "What're you to doing, anyway?"

"I was trying to get… uhhh…" Joyce pretends not to remember Faith's name.

"Faith," Faith adds in, playing along.

"Right, Faith here to stay overnight. She evidently left her bike at the party… right?"

"My motorcycle, yeah," Faith affirms.

"Motorcycle? Those are kind of dangerous…"

"Mom, please!" Buffy says, sounding embarrassed. She turns to Faith. "She's like that. She tries to be mom to everybody. Don't even listen to her… well, except about the staying part. You'll stay , right?" She moves over and takes Faith's hand. "Please?"

"I dunno, I should get home…"

"Don't be silly, Ms… ?"

" McKerrigan, Faith McKerrigan. You might want to write that down."

"Ms. McKerrigan," Joyce gives her a little look. " We have pillows and blankets, we can make you comfy on the couch. What do you say?"

"She could sleep in my bed!"

"Buffy!"

"Mom, geeze. I mean, she can like sleep in my bed and I'll take the sofa. God!" She turns to Faith. "My mom is totally weird. Ignore her. But stay, ok?"

"Buffy, I think you should go back to your bed. Get your water and go."

"Mom!"

"Elizabeth Anne Summers. You're still in trouble, lots of it. Don't push the respite, got it?"

"I'm going, I'm going," Buffy retreats, knowing her mom using her three names?… means 'I'm at the edge of my patience with you, young lady.' She turns to Faith. "But, you're gonna stay, right?"

"Ok, ok, I'll stay!" Faith puts up her hands in mock surrender. "Boy, most people are happy to see my back."

"Great, that's great. Mom makes the best waffles. You'll love 'em"  
She turns to her mom, "You'll make waffles, right?"

"Buffy, bed! Don't make me repeat myself!"

"I'm going…" Impulsively, Buffy goes to Faith and kisses her on the cheek. "Thanks…" She smiles, rubbing her hand on Faith's arm. She hurries off to the kitchen.

Joyce half grins, looking at her daughter, then back at Faith. "Well, she really likes you." She smirks a little. "If I didn't know better, I'd say a certain daughter of mine has a crush on you."

Faith shakes her head. "She barely knows me."

Buffy comes back, carrying a glass of water.

"Goodnight, guys," She sips her water. "You'll be here in the morning, right?" She asks Faith.

"I guess."

"Cool." She leans over, and surprises Joyce when she kisses her on the cheek. "G'night, mom." Buffy turns and hurries upstairs.

They watch her go, and then Joyce turns to Faith, smirking. She rubs her cheek.

"Oh yeah, big crush."

"That's ridiculous, Joyce!"

"Hmmm… dunno. I can understand it, as you say, totally." She smiles at Faith. "So, Will you stay? So we can talk?"

Faith hesitates, frowning.

"Were you shitting me… about you and Hank?"

Joyce shakes her head, afraid to speak. Afraid she'll blow it.

"Yeah, ok. But can I get some coffee? I'm fading here. It's been a long day…"

"We could talk in the morning, I guess…"

"No, we better talk tonight."

They walk towards the kitchen. Faith sits at the breakfast bar,  
while Joyce goes to make coffee.

"Joyce, did you know Buffy was at a college party tonight?"

"What!" Joyce almost drops the coffee pot. "College party? No…  
she was supposed to be at the party of one of her school friends"  
She stares at Faith. "You were there… at a college party?"

"I was working, Joyce, tending bar. I wanted some extra money."

"Oh… sorry…" Joyce blushes a little. God, Joyce, don't make it worse!

Dammit, Joyce! When are you going to start trusting me? Not everyone cheats. I'm NOT HANK! I love you, came 3000 miles to be with you. I don't want anyone else but you! Faith burns a little, thinking Joyce is never going to trust her.

"Look, that's not important right now," Faith says out loud. "What IS important is that Buffy was at that party, and you didn't know about it."

Joyce feels the anger rising in her. "I'm going to ground her until she's 35! God, what was she thinking?"

"Obviously, she wasn't. And that wasn't the worst of it, Joyce."

Joyce sets a cup of coffee in front of Faith, and turns to get a cup for herself. She gets a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Not the worst?" She sounds worried. "What? What else happened?"

"I don't know how to tell you this, Joyce, so I'll just come out with it," Faith stares at her cup. "Buffy nearly got raped tonight."

She hears a clatter, and looking up, sees Joyce has dropped her cup.  
She's standing there, staring at Faith, her face colorless.

"Raped?" She says, her voice a whisper.

"Joyce, it's ok. She's ok. I didn't let them touch her. But … if I hadn't been working that party…"

"Oh, my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Joyce just stands there in shock. "oh god, how could I let this happen! My baby almost… oh god, oh god, oh god!"

"Joyce!" Faith is up off the stool, and into the kitchen. She puts her arms around Joyce, holding her. "It's ok, now. It's all ok now."

"No, it's not ok! It's not OK!" Joyce almost yells at Faith. "I'm the worst mother in the world! I let my baby go to some party without checking it out, and she comes home drunk, and now I find out she nearly got raped! Not ok, Faith! Not even close to ok"  
Joyce tries to wriggle out of Faith's embrace, but Faith won't let her. "I'm so stupid! I'm the worst mother EVER!" She starts to cry. "I'm horrible! God, my poor baby!"

"Joyce, Joyce! Stop it!" Faith hugs her tighter. "It's not your fault. There was no way you could've known. None. This isn't your fault!"

"I don't know what to do, I don't!" Joyce cries, clinging to Faith. "It's starting all over again. I thought we'd… she'd be safe here. Away from those kids in L.A. Away from that place! But god,  
it's like before. I don't know how to reach her! I don't know how to fix this!"

"Joyce no, it's not like that. Buffy fought back! She did! She cried out for help… she didn't just zone out and take it. She fought back.  
That's how I found her, and … she's not a bad girl, Joyce. Just confused. Just…"

"I've tried so hard. I've tried to make it a good place for her, a good home. But it's been so hard, with her dad away. She really loves her dad… and then he showed up Thursday night, and …"

"He showed up?" Faith pulls back a bit, looking at Joyce. "He was here, this Thursday?"

Joyce nods. "He was here, waiting for me, when I got home…"

"Oh, Joyce, oh man … that's bad … did he … did he know… about us?"

"No… no…" Joyce smirks a little. "He accused me of running around with a client… a male client… but he didn't know I was with you…"

Faith lets out a sigh of relief. She knows what Hank did the last time he found out about them. God, if he ever … oh god, I don't even want to think about that!

"Joyce, I don't get it. Why was he here? I thought you said he only came home on weekends… ?"

"That's just it. He does. I was shocked. But evidently, Dawn called him, to try to… Buffy and I had been fighting a lot, and Dawn was worried, and called her dad to come and try to make peace between us…" She shakes her head. "That's so ironic, it's almost funny. Hank…  
doing anything for this family… is a joke…"

"What did he do?"

"He started in on lecturing me, and… well, to cut to the chase, he started giving me a ration of crap, and I told him to get out…"

What?

"What?"

"I'm so sick of him, Faith. I've had it up to here. So I told him to get out… I'm divorcing him again, Faith." She smiles a little at Faith. "That's partly what I was trying to get ahold of you about.  
The old divorce papers were still active… and I got him to sign them. Once I file, after the waiting period, it's over… I'm free of Hank Summers forever!"

Faith's face suddenly clouds over. She looks at Joyce with strangely.

"How. How did you get him to do it? I mean, it seemed like he loved torturing you by not divorcing you," Faith is worried. "What did you have to do?"

Joyce smiles a wicked little smile.

"I took a page out of his book, Faith. I found out something on him that could ruin him, professionally and financially. He was …  
willing to sign, provided I kept things to myself."

Faith stares at her, eyes wide.

"What?" Joyce asks, misinterpreting Faith's response.

"You're… so evil!" Faith snickers. "God, I would've love to be a fly on the wall to see his ugly face when you got him! "

"I'm finally free of that bastard," Joyce is almost exultant. "God,  
it feels great to be free."

Faith feels a small knot in her stomach. Free? Is that what she wants? Maybe that's what she needs. Maybe being with me right now isn't what she really needs. Maybe there's no place for me here… not now…

"Hey, Joyce, this is like…this is great, you know? I'm so happy for you." Faith forces a grin. She pushes away the coffee and stands up. "Anyway, we talked. I'm glad you're finally divorcing that cheating rat. But it's getting late, and I gotta lot to do tomorrow…

"Faith?" Joyce looks puzzled. "You're leaving?"

" Oh yeah," Faith smiles, jollying up her tone, "I really gotta get my bike back tomorrow, and then talk to Mike. See if I gotta job,  
you know? And there's the whole school thing. Busy, busy girl here, " She starts towards the door, " hey, I'll talk at you later,  
ok?" Faith turns, starting towards the door. "Or call me, ok? When you get time…" half her grin collapses as she feels the knot in her stomach getting larger. " Seeya, Joyce."

Joyce sees her going, and her heart sinks. What's going on? Why is she leaving? What did I say?

"Faith, wait. We still have other things to talk about. Buffy and…"

"That's family stuff, Joyce. Nothing I'm part of. And I'm really bushed…"

Something clicks in Joyce's brain. Oh god. She thought when I was happy to be free, she thought I meant I… oh no, I'm going to lose her for sure now!

Joyce does something radical. She needs to, if she's going to get Faith's attention.

"Faith!" Joyce calls out to Faith's back.

God, Joyce, can't you just let me go? Do you have to keep rubbing it in? I'm going, ok? Don't make it harder. Faith sighs. She turns to Joyce, and her jaw drops.

Joyce is standing there, nightgown pooled at her ankles. She's totally nude.

"J-Joyce?" her voice almost squeaks.

Joyce almost revels in Faith's reaction. She feels her nipples harden as she sees the confusion mixed with lust on Faith's face.

Stepping away from her nightgown, she walks towards Faith. She approaches the girl cautiously, not wanting to scare her. She takes Faith's hand in her own.

"You're very much a part of this family, Faith, " Joyce says softly,  
gently squeezing Faith's hand. "Very much a part of it." She brings her body next to Faith's, her breast pressing gently into Faith's arm. "Don't you realize that yet?" She gently strokes Faith's back.

Faith stands still, very still. She feels like the bird being surrounded by the serpent. Her heart beats rapidly in her chest. Is it fear, or is it… lust?

Why is she doing this to me? Why can't she just let me go? God, why does she have to torture me this way? Faith feels major tingles starting in her body, and her mind starts to fog a little. God, am I crazy? Torture me, god, torture me some more!

Joyce slides herself around Faith, coming up behind her. She slips her arms around Faith, encircling her waist. She leans her head on Faith's shoulder.

"Baby," She coos softly, "do you gotta go? I mean, really?" She leans over, nibbling on Faith's ear. "I've been sooo lonely without you. I've missed you so much these past couple of days…" Her hands move up from Faith's waist, cupping her breasts. "Isn't there some way I can get you to stay?" She squeezes Faith's breasts lightly,  
smiling to herself when she hears a heavy sigh out of Faith. She starts to rub herself against Faith's back. "I mean, don't you wanna be with me anymore? Not even a itty bitty little bit?" She sticks her tongue in Faith's ear. Faith moans softly.

"Joyce," Faith pants, her center shooting fire throughout her body. "What're you doing?" Thoughts of leaving disappear as she feels her nipples harden achingly at Joyce's touches. "We can't… the girls… they might… oh god…" She quivers slightly when she feels the tip of Joyce's tongue touch the back of her ear.

"Shhh, baby. I have a little sofa bed downstairs in the basement.  
Like the one at my office? Think we could find a use for it?" Her tongue traces a line down Faith's neck.

"OH… god yeah…" Faith turns in Joyce's arms, and suddenly she's got her lips glued to Joyce's mouth, her tongue demanding access, which is gladly given. Her hands are on Joyce's butt cheeks, squeezing them almost roughly. Joyce moans into her mouth.

"I love you, baby," Joyce mumbles as she lays kisses on Faith's face. "I love you so much, I've missed being with you so much," she pants, her lips locking on Faith's again. Their tongues duel in sweet passion, caressing and stroking, dominating and submitting to each other's fire. "I need you here, with me, all the time, lover.  
Please, don't you want to be here with me?"

Faith moans, and suddenly Joyce feels herself being lifted off the floor. She feels Faith cradle her in her arms, and she chuckles softly.

"Silly girl, you don't have to carry me," She nonetheless puts an arm around Faith's neck. "I can walk." She snuggles closer.

Faith, for her part, is having a hard time maintaining balance. Her knees are trembling from the fires Joyce has lit in her, and Joyce is taller and a little heavier than she is, making holding her this way a bit awkward. Still, she soldiers on.

"Don't be a dope, Joyce. Not lettin' ya down til we reach that bed"  
Faith kind of circles around, looking for a door. "Er… exactly where is the basement?"

"Over there, goofball," Joyce laughs, pointing at the cellar door.  
She leans over, sucking on the sensitive skin of Faith's neck. "Mmmm, tasty."

Faith's chest is heaving, and her arms are trembling along with her legs now.

"That's so not helping me, Joyce." She pants, walking towards the cellar.

"How 'bout this?" Joyce playfully squeezes her breast through her shirt.

"Ah geeze," Faith feels a very familiar dampness developing between her thighs. "Joyce, that's really not helping…"

Still, somehow(with a little assist from Joyce with the door), she manages to get Joyce through the door, which she kicks closed after.

3

Once downstairs, Faith sets Joyce down on the floor, and starts to open up the sofa bed. Joyce playfully starts to tug at Faith's clothing, as if she can't wait for the younger woman to get naked.  
Her hands start to wander over Faith's ass, now a prime target since she's bending over.

"Mmmm… pretty behind," Joyce coos softly, rubbing and squeezing Faith's derriere.

"Do you want me to get this open or not?" Faith complains, as Joyce's playfulness makes it harder and harder for her to concentrate. "Gimme a break here…" She says, as she finally gets the mattress extracted from the sofa.

"Oh, I'm going to give you something, honey," Joyce says, pulling Faith up into her arms. She begins to kiss her hotly, as her hands start to unbutton her blouse. Impatient with the buttons, she starts tearing off the buttons.

"Joyce, god, that's the only one I got to wear!" Faith tries to push Joyce away, but Joyce won't be denied.

"I gotta blouse upstairs you can wear," Joyce says huskily, pulling the blouse out of Faith's pants. She starts on the pants. Her fingers fumble over the belt. "God, I can never get these things open."

"I got it, I got it!" Faith chuckles, stepping back and undoing her pants. A nasty little thought occurs to her.Teasingly, she starts a slow little strip tease for Joyce's benefit.

She lower and raises the zipper on her pants, then starts to roll her hips, sliding her pants down then pulling them up. Turning, she does the same, playing peek-a-boo with Joyce, revealing and covering her panty clad ass.

"Stop it, you meanie!" Joyce grumbles, her labials getting wetter by the moment. "Get NAKED!" She groans.

Faith chuckles, and lets the pants drop to the ground, shaking her ass tauntingly at Joyce. Using her feet, she slips off her slip on boots, kicking them across the floor. Her socks are next, and then she's standing there, ripped open shirt, her vest, bra and panties the only thing separating her from total nakedness.

Joyce drools as Faith continues her little strip tease, shrugging off the vest and thrusting her chest out. She toys with her shirt,  
sliding it off her shoulders while facing away from Joyce, wiggling her bottom at her at the same time. Then she slides it back up,  
hearing Joyce's groan and chuckling. She finally lets it drop, and reaches around to undo her bra.

Joyce is like an overheated radiator stuck on high. The more Faith teases her, the more steam builds up in Joyce. She feels a strong quiver in her mons when Faith turns and slides down her bra straps,  
in preparation of losing it entirely. Oh god, she's so nasty! Why doesn't she just lose that damned thing and let me get at her beautiful breasts? Joyce feels the desire to grab the girl and cover her with hot wet kisses grow harder to resist.

Without even realizing it, her hand has crept southward, and is at the moment gently stroking her vulva.

Faith notices it, and feels her own strong shudder way down low.  
Watching Joyce masturbate over her is making Faith incredibly hot.  
She lets her brassiere drop, revealing her breasts. Her nipples are standing up proud and hard, ready for Joyce's close inspection.

Losing her train of thought, she just gives up and strips off her panties, revealing her sweet dark V of trimmed fur bordering her slit. She starts to pant in anticipation. Her own hand slips down to her mound, and she starts to mirror Joyce's action.

"Oh my god that's so hot," Faith growls, watching Joyce intently.

"What?"

"Watching you masturbate, baby. It's hot," Faith pants, her own finger sliding up and down her slit.

"Oh god, I didn't even…" Joyce stops and turns red, "I was just so turned on I…"

"Don't stop!" Faith groans, "I love watching you playing with yourself!"

"You do?" God, she never ceases to amaze me! Joyce gets a wicked little smile on her face. She walks over to the bed, and sits down,  
spreading her legs. "Come here."

Faith stumbles over to Joyce, as if pulled by an invisible string around her waist.

"Kneel down, honey," Joyce says softly. Faith complies.

Joyce slips her fingers sexily to her mound, and begins to rub herself. She hears Faith moan.

"You like that?" Joyce says softly, her voice husky with passion.

"Uh-huh," Faith, kneeling in front of Joyce, rubs herself furiously.  
Her eyes are glued to Joyce's fingers and pussy.

"Does that make you hot, baby? Me playing with myself?" Joyce moans softly, as strong rivers of ice and fire start to flow in her core. "You like watching me?"

"Yeah, goddamn it's sooo hot." Faith almost groans the response.  
Losing anything remotely like control, Faith almost lunges at Joyce,  
grabbing her thighs and burying her face between them.

"Oh god, Faith, yes …" Joyce sighs, laying back as Faith takes over.

Faith uses her tongue like a feather, lightly stroking it over Joyce's puffy lips. Joyce moans softly, appreciatively as Faith caresses her pussy, her hips starting to rock gently back and forth.

Faith revels in Joyce's taste, a combination of sweet and sour,  
musky and spicy. Her tongue gently parts her lips, stoking teasingly in a vertical motion, occasionally pausing at Joyce's clit, peeking cutely from it's hood.

Joyce moans increase in volume as Faith works. Her tongue slips inside Joyce, flickering softly on the vaginal walls. Faith uses her thumb to draw teasing circles around Joyce's erect clit, causing Joyce to buck her hips, wanting more.

"Oh… baby…that's sooo … oh god, Faith I adore you sooo much… oh…  
YES… there… baby please, don't tease me… do it THERE… yes… mmmm…  
oooohhhhh… oh god, oh god that's sooo… babbeee I love you sooo much…. Uhhhhhh…."

Faith smiles, knowing she's driving Joyce crazy in the best way. She uses her thumbs to part Joyce's lips, and pushing her face forward,  
stabs her tongue deep up Joyce's love canal.

Joyce's hand comes down, pressing Faith's face into her pussy. Her head is rolling back and forth on her pillow, her face flushed in need and desire. She gasps as she feels Faith's finger flicking her clit.

"GOD YESSSS DO THAAAATTT!" Joyce groans loudly. Her butt starts to bouncing on the bed.

But Faith has other nasty ideas in mind. She gently pushes Joyce's legs up, causing her to reveal more of her bottom. Stopping her oral ministrations for a moment, eliciting at protest from Joyce, she gently sucks on her middle finger, coating it with her saliva and Joyce's juices. Smiling, she returns her mouth to Joyce's pussy.

"God, don't TEASE me like that!" Joyce growls, obviously at a point of needing to cum. " That's just nasty!"

"Oh? How 'bout this?" Faith mumbles… and slips her wet finger through Joyce's rear puckered hole.

Joyce lets out an appreciative below as Faith begins go finger fuck her tight little rear hole.

"GODDDD YEEESSSS oh FAITH BABY I LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!" Joyce screams feeling the pressure in her start to build and build. " OH baby you're so nasty I just love it do that Yes baby do that love that oh god oh god oh god I'm gonna…."

Joyce lets out a high scream, and the floodgates open.

Faith smiles as Joyce's sweet honey flows out of her. She rubs her face in it, reveling in the smell and taste. Her tongue hungrily begins to lick over Joyce's mound, pussy and legs, devouring Joyce's sweetness.

Joyce is bucking crazily on the bed, her thighs clamping closed on Faith's head. Faith holds of for dear life, knowing Joyce gets quite physical when she cums.

Wave after wave crest over Joyce, her cries gradually softening into moan, the gurgles of happiness and satisfaction.

Faith cleans her lover as best she can, gradually working her way up her body. She kisses the soft skin of Joyce's belly, loving the taste and texture. She works up, licking, kissing and tenderly nibbling at the skin. When she reaches Joyce's breasts, nipples still erect, she gently uses her teeth to pull on them, knowing Joyce enjoys that.

Joyce, tired, happy, and a little shaky, throws her arms around Faith, and pulls her up into a wet, hot kiss.

Joyce rolls Faith over on her side, her arms caressing her warm,  
soft body.

"Oh god, Faith I love you so much. I need you so much, " Joyce babbles as she strives to touch ever little bit of her sweet lover. "You make me feel so special, so needed. I need you ever day,  
every minute, baby."

She covers Faith's face with wet soft kisses, her hands wandering over Faith's back and gently cupping Faith's ass.

"You're so beautiful, lovebug. Every time you smile at me, I feel my heart beat fast in my chest," Joyce strokes Faith lovingly. "You make me feel like no one's ever made me feel before. I need you baby, I so need you!"

Faith, normally the aggressor, submits to Joyce's caresses. She senses Joyce needs this, and she wants to give it to her.

Joyce rolls Faith over, and she slides on top of Faith.

"What're you gonna do, baby?" Faith asks, looking up in her lover's eyes.

Joyce just smiles, then cover's Faith's rich, sensual mouth with her own. She kisses her deeply, sucking on her soft lips, and gently pushes her tongue into Faith's willing mouth.

Taking at trick out of Faith's book, Joyce arches herself up,  
aligning her hips with Faith's. Reaching between them, she gently pulls Faith's lips apart, then pushes her own pussy against Faith's.  
She slowly begins to rub against Faith.

"Oh, you bad, bad girl!" Faith squeals, slapping her hands on Joyce's humping globes, then pulling her closer, She begins to hump back at her. "God I love this…" She sighs, already beginning to feel the wonderful sparks flowing from her pussy through her body.

"Shhh," Joyce quiets her with another kiss, as she begins to hump Faith harder, rubbing against her moistening lips.

Faith wraps her legs around Joyce's hips, and adjusting carefully,  
manages to bring their engorged clits together.

Sparks turn to infernos as the sensitive nubs rub together.

"Yeah, yeah, oh Yeah, Joy! Yeah, fuck me baby, fuck me good. You fuck me sooo good," Faith moans, her fires building into raging flames. She feels Joyce's whole body move in the action, rubbing her breasts against her own.

Joyce captures her lips in another overheated kiss, tongues fighting, caressing and loving each other as their bodies hump in a frenzy.

Both feel the familiar pressure building, and that only causes them to rub harder, faster together. Their buds are red, the stimulation and rubbing causing them to swell even further with blood. Their hips are almost banging together, then rolling, sensually to the point of obscene.

Both women's cries are muffled by their lover's mouths.

Almost in unison, their bodies stiffen as huge orgasms take them over, rocking them in the waves of their mutual passion. They cling to each other, shuddering, trembling, caressing, their mouths still locked in a passionately fiery kiss.

They lay there for the longest time, Joyce on Top, Faith under her,  
holding each other tightly. They finally roll over on their side,  
hands moving to caress and touch each other.

Faith moves down a little, nuzzling her face between Joyce's breasts. She turns, and lightly begins to lick idly at Joyce's nipple.

Joyce's eyelid's flutter at the touch of Faith's tongue. Her eyes open, and she looks down and smiles.

"Hi," She says breathily, still trying to catch her breath. She came so hard, she's still a little dizzy. "That was… wow!"

"Oh fuck yeah, that was so wow!" Faith agrees. Her hand rubs lovingly over Joyce's tummy. "Fuck you're so hot!"

"Mmmm… you were pretty damned inferno like yourself," Joyce smiles,  
looking at her lover. "Come here, you, I want a kiss!"

Faith slides up, and obliges, pushing her tongue deep into Joyce's mouth. They share a warm kiss, tongues lightly caressing and dancing in each other's mouths.

They spend some time just kissing and caressing each other,  
looking into each other's eyes.

"I love you so much," Joyce says, pulling Faith close and hugging her. "I so happy you're going to be here with us now. God, I want you all the time." She kisses Faith passionately.

"I adore you, Joyce," Faith mumbles against Joyce's mouth. " This is like a dream… I can't believe it's real…it's actually happening"  
She returns the kiss with fervor.

"Believe it," Joyce says, panting as they break the kiss. "It's very real."

"Mmmm," Faith murmurs softly. She snuggles closer to Joyce.

They kiss some more, and Faith slips her arm around Joyce, holding her close to her. They settle down to enjoy the afterglow.

"Joyce… what about Dawn and Buffy?"

"Let 'em get their own girl," Joyce teases, pinching Faith on the bottom.

"You little shit," Faith pinches her back. "I'm serious. This is gonna be kind hard for them. I mean, accepting me as… well, us being a couple, you know?"

"I know it will, " Joyce says softly, " but I also know I need you as part of my life, Faith. I really do! I can't imagine living without you."

Faith feels that all too familiar melting of her heart like a Popsicle in August. She pulls Joyce even closer, if that's possible.

"God, I love you!" Faith rubs her hands up and down, over Joyce's back and ass.

"You better, girl. Or I'm going to be really hurt after you seduced me!"

"Me? It was you that got naked as a jaybird upstairs! Coming over and rubbing that sexy hot body all over me…"

"I'm talking about back in Massachusetts ," Joyce teasingly slaps her ass. "God, you came on to me like a runaway train."

"Yeah, well, I didn't hear you protesting TOO loudly… though screaming was heard…"

"You …you… doll!" Joyce kisses her again. She starts to kiss her way down Faith's neck, her soft lips sending lovely tingles through Faith.

"Ok, enough," Faith chuckles as she gently pushes Joyce away. "We really have to talk about this. Buffy and Dawn are important here too. I don't want them hating me for stealing their mother away from their dad!"

"Faith… maybe we should wait a little… I mean, about us being a couple…"

"Oh," Faith can't quite hide her disappointment.

"Honey, look. Buffy obviously thinks you walk on water, and I know Dawn will adore you too. I mean, they are my daughters. They've got good taste…" She smiles at Faith, "… and once they're used to you being around, we'll tell them. I promise."

Faith sighs. God, more hiding. Still, at least I'll be around…and it won't be forever…

"Ok, Joyce, I understand," Faith nods. "probably best anyway. I mean, they must be pretty upset about the divorce and all…"

Joyce makes a guilty face.

Faith doesn't fail to see it.

"Joyce, they know about the divorce, right?"

Joyce swallows hard.

"They know, right?" Faith is more insistent.

"I… well, with everything? I haven't told them yet. I was waiting for the right time…"

"WHEN? When they're 30?" Faith sits up, leaning on her knees.

"Faith! God, I just got Henry to sign the papers Thursday night.  
Please, I just need to…"

"Tell them Joyce. They've got to know. You've got to tell them. They deserve that!"

"I know, I know…"Joyce looks at her. "Tomorrow. I'll tell them tomorrow…"

"Ok, well, maybe I should go before they get up, you know? I mean,  
this is family stuff…"

"Oh, god no! I need you here, Faith, please. This is going to be so hard. I need the moral support to get through it."

"Won't they be kinda suspicious if I'm still here when you tell them? I mean, they aren't stupid, Joyce. They're gonna figure something's going on."

"We'll work it out… if need be, I'll put off about the divorce for a couple of days, until things settle down a little."

"No! That you have to tell them. Maybe I should stay away for awhile, until after you've told them…?"

"No!" Joyce grabs her, and pulls her close. "NO! I … need you here now, Faith McKerrigan! Now!" Before Faith can protest, Joyce gives her a toe curling kiss.

When the kiss breaks, Faith licks her lips. They feel slightly abused.

" Well, when you put it that way…" She grabs Joyce, who giggles again, and they kiss hotly.

Breaking the kiss, Faith jumps up, and shouts at the top of her lungs!

"WHOO HOOOO!"

" Oh my god, FAITH!" Joyce turns three shades of red. "The girls!  
They'll hear you! They might come down looking for what's causing the ruckus!"

"Let 'em," Faith growls playfully. "I got nothing to hide!"

Faith bounces on the bed.

"You're terrible!" Joyce shakes her head. She grabs at Faith's leg,  
and Faith comes crashing down, right on top of Joyce. "OOOOFFFF!  
And you weigh a ton!" Joyce laughs.

Faith sits up, straddling Joyce. She leans over, raining little kisses all over her upper abdomen.

"Faith! What're you doing now?" Joyce laughs, " That tickles!"

"I'm kissing the boo boos!" She grins, and starts stabbing her tongue at Joyce's breast. "Mmmm… ok, now I'm kissing the boobies."

"Stop!" Joyce pushes her away. "No time for that now! We've got to figure this out!"

"God, you're no fun at all!" Faith pouts as she gets off Joyce. She flounces down on the mattress next to her.

"Now, now, I didn't say we're NEVER going to do it again," She pats Faith on the leg. "just, there's so much that needs to be worked out."

"Planning too much? Never a good idea," Faith protests. "Seems every time you plan something out, something comes along to mess it up!"

"I know, still…"

"I mean, like your divorce the first time? Everything was fine until Hank came along and…" Faith shakes her head. "I can't believe that guy. I mean, he doesn't love you. He fucks around on you, and yet he doesn't want to let you go. What's his problem, anyway?"

"I dunno, Faith. He's a selfish prick, that's all I know…"

"Well, at least this time you got him to sign off without any trouble."

"Yeah," Joyce remembers that night, and her tone reflects it.

Faith catches something off in Joyce's tone, and looks at her.

"He did sign off, right? You said he signed the papers."

"Yes, he did, Faith," Joyce agrees. "Just, he wasn't really gracious about it."

"Well, what do you expect? He's a sore loser!"

"No, I mean… he got rather upset."

"Upset?" A little warning buzzer goes off in Faith's head. "What do you mean?"

"Upset! I mean, he got angry…" Joyce shrugs. She turns away, not really wanting Faith to read her face at the moment.

"Joyce…?" Faith feels something's not being said. "Joyce, what? What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing, "Joyce evades. "look, it's over, ok? I got him to sign,  
that's the important thing." She turns back to Faith, a wicked smile on her face. "Anyway, who wants to talk about old Hank Summers anyway? I mean, can you think of a bigger mood killer?" She moves over on Faith, and starts tickling her. "And baby, I'm so in the mood." She starts raining little kisses on Faith's face, as her hands pinch and poke at Faith.

"Stop it! STOP IT!" Faith giggles, batting her hands away. "C'mon,  
Joyce, this isn't going to get anything done. We have to talk about this."

"Too much talking," Joyce gets more aggressive, pushing Faith back on the bed. "Playtime now…" She starts to get seriously friendly with her mouth and hands.

Faith feels all the familiar tingles and urges, and it would be sooo easy to just go along with it. But she just can't. NO! She's hiding something.

"Joyce, No! STOP!" Faith pushes Joyce away, sitting up and crossing her arms over her chest. "We've got to talk. You're not telling me something."

"I told you everything!" Joyce protests, sounding irritated. "God,  
what do you want, a notarized letter? There's nothing more to tell.  
Hank came, I made him sign the papers, and that's the important thing!"

"No, us, you and me, being honest with each other! That's the important thing, Joyce. The last time we didn't tell each other everything? It nearly broke us up for good. So, I wanna know. What else?"

"Faith, can't you just let it go? It's not important anymore…"

"Joyce, tell me!"

Joyce sighs. She was hoping to avoid this. She knows how angry Faith can get.

"Look, as I said? He didn't take it well, at all. He got really mad.  
Madder than I've ever seen him…"

"And?"

"And… he threw things…"

"And, what else?" Faith feels a knot of anger growing in her stomach.

"And… " Oh god, don't let her explode " … he hit me…" Her voice trails off.

Faith sits very still. Her face loses its color, and little spots of red appear on her cheeks. Her eyes narrow.

"That son-of-a-bitch" She growls very softly.

"Faith, forget it. It's done and over…"

"No, it's NOT over…" Faith hops off the bed. She starts looking for her clothes.

"Faith!" Joyce gets up, following her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm looking for my clothes!" She looks around. "Shit, where's my other boot!"

"Faith! Stop this! It's over, let it go…" Joyce grabs her arm,  
trying to pull her back to the bed.

Faith shakes her off.

"He hit you, Joyce! I can't just stand by while he hit you!" She starts throwing clothes. "Where the fuck did my boot go?"

" Faith!" Joyce grabs her, whirling her around. "What the hell do you think you're going to do about it?"

"I'm going to find that miserable excuse for a man and beat him senseless, Joyce!" Faith pushes her away. "now, let me do what I gotta do…"

Joyce, scared, gets desperate. She comes behind Faith and pushes her against a wall. She leans on her, not letting her move.

"You'll do no such thing, Faith McKerrigan. You'll stay here and let this alone!"

"No, I won't!" Faith pushes back, throwing Joyce off. "he's gonna be one sorry son of a b…"

She hears Joyce moan, and turns to see her on the floor.

"Oh… god, Joyce… Joyce, baby, are you ok? I didn't mean to…" She rushes to Joyce, kneeling next to her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Joyce waves her off. She sits there for a minute, then stands.

Faith stands up, looking and feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry, Joyce, I didn't mean to…"

"But you did, Faith. That's the point. You got angry, and out of control, and you hurt me. How's that different from what Henry did"  
Joyce turns, and walks back to the bed, sitting down.

"Joyce… oh, god, Joyce I'm so sorry!" Faith comes over to her,  
kneeling in front of her. "I'm … please, don't be angry. I didn't mean to…" She wraps her arms around Joyce's legs, laying her head on Joyce's lap.

"I know, I know, honey," Joyce says soothingly, stoking her hair. "But you let anger get the better of you. You lashed out,  
angry at him, and hurt me."

"I'm sorry," Faith looks up, tears in her eyes.

"Honey, I'm not mad. Just, hasn't there been enough of this stuff? I mean… what good will it do if you're in jail because you assault Hank? He wins, again. He splits us up, again! Don't let that Irish temper of yours let him win." She cups Faith's face in her hands. "Promise me you'll let this go now…"

"But…"

"Promise me, Faith. I need you here. Not in jail."

Faith looks down and sighs, feeling a little frustrated. "I promise."

"Good," Joyce leans over, kissing her softly on the lips. "It's all gonna be good now."

"He better not show his face up here, trying anything like that again, or all bets are off, Joyce!"

"He won't. He's too much of a coward, and he has too much to lose.  
If he tries something, I'll have the police on his ass in a second.  
And it won't be just because he threatened us," Joyce lips tighten.

"But he might. He's not… like you said, he's a coward. And he's likely to pick on someone he thinks is weaker than him. Maybe not you, but what about the girls?"

"He wouldn't do that. They're his daughters. He loves them."

"Joyce, he hit you. Do you think he'd stop at hurting them, if he thought it would give him leverage over you?"

Joyce looks at Faith, and her expression changes to one of worried mom.

"Oh god, what am I gonna do? I can't be with the girls all the time.  
What if he shows up here, and I'm away? He might…"

"Joyce, I got an idea."

Joyce turns to her, expectantly.

"Look, you're right. You can't be here all the time. Especially nights, when you have a showing or whatever. I'm pretty sure the girls will be safe in school. But maybe, someone should be around when you're not here, and they are."

"Like a guard? A bodyguard?" Joyce shakes her head, "I can't afford that. I mean, I'd do anything to protect the girls, but a bodyguard costs a fortune, Faith. I couldn't swing that."

"Well, I know someone who could do it say for… oh, room and board?"

"Who?"

Faith smiles broadly at her.

"You?"

"Hey, don't give me that look, Joyce Summers. I was raised in South Boston. Fighting is a way of life there, and you ask around. Faith is no slouch when it comes to protecting herself or her loved ones."

"Loved ones?" Joyce smiles a tiny smile.

"Well, you love 'em, and I love you. So that works out." Faith's tone turns serious. "Look, Joyce, I'm serious here. Hank might've backed off, but he might be back, and he might hurt you. Or the girls. Maybe we can't totally protect them, but together we can do a better job of it than apart, don't you think?"

"Faith, thank you. Really. But it's not fair to you. I mean, what about your job? And School? I won't let you give that up for me and the girls."

"Look, Joyce, frankly? After what happened tonight? I'm probably out of a job. And, I didn't know rents were so high out here. It's been a real struggle making ends meet, you know? Why do you think I took the weekend gig? I needed the money…"

"Yet, you go and buy expensive flowers and things for me," Joyce blushes, a little embarrassed.

"Hey, gotta treat my girl right, don't I?" Faith reaches over and hugs her, giving her a kiss.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having money problems?" Joyce says,  
after the kiss breaks. "I would've helped you out."

"Not a moocher, Joyce," Faith says with some pride. "I take care of myself. Always have."

Joyce looks at the proud, dignified(even if naked) girl across from her, and feels her heart swell in pride. And she loves me. God, I'm the luckiest woman ever!

"You know something," Joyce says quietly, "I like it. I like the idea a lot. I know I'd feel a lot better with someone in the house that can take care of herself. And you could have your own little space, right down here… " she waves her hands, indicating the cellar. "We can fix it up a little, give you a proper bed and desk,  
and there's room for you to set up an easel, if you wanted to do some painting. Yes, this could work out very nicely…"

"I don't take charity, Joyce," Faith says, catching on to Joyce's intention. "I'll figure a way to pay you…"

"You'll pay me in peace of mind. I'd feel a whole lot safer with you around, Faith. And believe me, there's ALWAYS plenty of chores to go around…"

"Damn, I thought I left chores behind when I got kicked outta my parent's place." Faith pretends to think about it. "That might be a deal buster."

"Faith," Joyce puts on a mock stern expression, "everyone pulls their weight around here…"

"Yeah, but I'm sleepin' with the boss," Faith slides into Joyce's lap, putting a pouty expression on her face. "Doesn't that count for nothin'?" She slips her arms around Joyce.

"Well, I thought that was part of the benefit's package." Joyce puts her arms around Faith, and they kiss.

"Hmmm… you're a tough negotiator," Faith smiles, kissing Joyce again.

"So, we've got a deal, then?" Joyce says into the kiss, her hands stroking over Faith's back.

"Mmm-hmmm…" Faith murmurs.

They kiss for awhile longer, things getting a bit more heated. Then a loud sigh emits from Faith, and she pulls away.

"Faith? What is it?" Joyce says, trying to pull the girl back.

Faith shakes her head, and slips her pretty bottom off Joyce's lap.  
She sits by the edge of the bed, turned to face Joyce.

"Faith, what is it? What's wrong?" Joyce grows a little worried.

"Look, this new ' not hiding stuff' thing we agreed to? There's something I haven't told you…"

Joyce is getting really worried now. "What is it Faith?"

"It's about Buffy."

Joyce sighs. When isn't It about Buffy? "What about Buffy?"

"I wasn't hiding anything from you, Joyce," Faith says, hands in lap, "this happened before I knew Buffy was your daughter…"

"Faith? What?"

"Last night wasn't the first time I met Buffy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, when I was working at the bar, she came in one night…"

"I don't understand?" Joyce feels confused.

"I'm not ratting her out here. It's not about that. She came in, and she came up to the bar, trying to buy beer. Well, I knew just looking at her that she wasn't 21, so I refused to serve her, and pretty much threw her out of the place. You're really supposed to be at least 18 to be in there, and 21 to buy anything besides a coke…"

"When was this?" Joyce asks, suddenly very interested.

"I dunno… week, two weeks ago?"

"That must've been the night she snuck out of her room… I caught her sneaking back in ,and she had beer on her breath."

"Well, yeah, that's the thing. She was with some people. They had beer. I think they dared her to like try to get beer from me… well,  
beer and more…"

"What?"

"Well, she kind of flirted with me, wanted to get my phone number and you know…"

"Oh my god! My daughter picking up strangers in bars. What's next?"

"Joyce, that's not the point."

"What is the point?"

"Joyce, she was with a group of people that night. Particularly, she was with a group of girls. All I think she goes to school with. One in particular…"

"I'm not following you…" Joyce is getting more confused by the second.

"She was with this girl at the bar, and tonight… well, last night now… she was with the same girl at the party…"

"And you think…" it's suddenly dawning on Joyce, "… you think this girl brought her to the party?"

Faith nods.

"She was pretty chummy with Buffy at the bar, and she was in the same room I found Buffy in when I got her out of that party…" Faith puts up her hands. "I'm not accusing anyone of anything here; the girl said she was duped like Buffy. But…"

"You don't believe her?" Joyce says right out.

"Like I said, I'm not accusing her of anything. Just, she didn't seem to be playing it straight with me… that's all… I think she knew more than she was letting on… no proof here… just a feeling."

"What's the girls name?"

"Dunno, really. I mean, in the confusion, I didn't stop and ask"  
Faith thinks for a moment. " Buffy did mumble something about a Cor…  
or Cordy… or something like that … while we were driving around,  
looking for home… but…" Faith shrugs. "…might've been someone else…"

"Oh man…" Joyce seems to shrink a little. " Buffy's doing it again.  
Hanging with the wrong kids. Obviously this girl is getting her in trouble…" She looks up at Faith, brow furrowed. "I just don't have a clue how to handle her anymore. I mean… grounding isn't working… and I won't spank her… I can't, that's not right to hit your kids… but…  
sometimes… I just wish I could run away and forget all this…"

"I know, I know," Faith moves over to her, taking her in a hug. "It'll be ok. Buffy's not a bad kid, I don't think. She's just confused…"

"God, about what? I'm just finding out I might be a lesbian, I'm getting divorced, and I have two daughters I'm finding out I don't have a clue about… I'm confused!" She looks at Faith. "I don't suppose you wanna be mom for awhile, huh?"

Faith shakes her head.

"No, I'm mom, I gotta figure it out," Joyce says, "just wish I knew what was going on in that head of hers…"

"Maybe I can talk to her. I mean, I can empathize. Not exactly the same thing, but my parents sort of divorced me…"

"You'd do that? Maybe she'll listen to you…"

"Joyce, I'll talk to her, but you're still going to have to punish her."

"Don't suppose I could chain her to her bed?" Joyce says, only half kidding.

"I don't think so, " Faith chuckles. "Look, it'll work out. Just do what you gotta, and I'll try to talk to her, and maybe we can learn what's up with her."

"God, I hope so. I can't take much more of this, " Joyce runs her hand through her hair. "I'm going to be totally gray if she keeps this up."

"Hmmm…" Faith leans in, grabbing Joyce, "I think gray is sexy." She starts to kiss Joyce's neck.

Joyce slaps her lightly on the arm, "You're just horny…" Joyce giggles as Faith starts laying raspberry kisses on her shoulders.

"And that's bad… how?" Faith mumbles through her kisses.

"Well for one thing, it's getting… " Joyce looks at the window,  
seeing daylight" … it's morning. Oh my god, it's morning!"

"Hmmm… love to make love in the morning…" Faith starts squeezing one of Joyce's breasts.

"Stop!" Joyce bats her hand, pulling away. "That's all nice when your single, Faith, but I've got a family… and oh my god, my clothes! I've got to get my clothes. They're still in the kitchen!"

"Ok," Faith shrugs, pulling back. "you don't know what you're missing."

"Got a pretty good idea of what I'm missing, but I've got to get my clothes, and take a shower, and make breakfast…"

She waits, looking at Faith.

"What?" Faith says, sitting there.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Get dressed, and get my clothes from the kitchen."

"No way. Who was your servant last week, lady?"

"Hey! I can't go up there like this!"

" Looks like your gonna have to."

"Faith, please, go get my clothes!"

"You get them, I dare you!"

"What are we? 12? You dare me?"

"Yeah. I dare you…" Faith smirks. "I double dare you!"

"Fine!" Joyce throws up her hands. "I'll get them!"

She stands up, and walks away, heading for the stairs.

Faith watches her, and lets out a low wolf whistle.

Joyce can't help the little thrill that goes through her body. She stops halfway up the steps, one hip thrust out.

"You know, I'm going to have to take a shower before I come back down… I wouldn't mind a little company…" She gives Faith the once over, and then continues her journey up the stairs.

Faith sits there for a moment, drinking in the sexy little sway Joyce added to her walk. Then she's off the bed, and quickly runs up the stairs behind her.

4

"Stop it!" Joyce complained, giggling.

All the way to the shower, Faith and Joyce engage in a running game of grab ass. When they weren't taking a kissing break, of course.  
Such as the one they took in the kitchen when Joyce retrieves her clothes, and one at the bottom of the stairs, lingering a bit as tongues swapped between their mouths. Then they ran upstairs, Joyce leading, Faith in hot pursuit, grabbing and pinching at her swaying butt.

At the top of the stair, Faith grabs Joyce, and tickles her mercilessly.

"Stop it!" Joyce tries to wiggle away, but Faith blocks her exit.  
Her fingers sweep over her naked lover, causing her to bite her lip so she doesn't laugh too loudly.

"Please, Faith, they'll hear us. They're just down the hall!"

"Guess we'll have to do something about that, huh?" Faith smiles wickedly.

Before Joyce can react, Faith grabs her wrists, and pushes her up against the wall, holding her wrists above her head. She presses herself up against Joyce so she can't move, then kisses her deeply and passionately.

"MMMmm" is all that's heard from Joyce as Faith continues to kiss her.

Faith rubs her body up against Joyce, and Joyce responds, her own body moving against Faith's.

"We gotta stop. We gotta," Joyce pants, breaking the kiss. "Dawn and Buffy will hear us!"

"Spoilsport," Faith releases her, and sets her lips in a moue, "You're no fun at all."

God, she's sooo adorable, Joyce looks at Faith's pouting face. And damned if she doesn't know it!

"C'mon," Joyce takes her hand, leading her in the bathroom. "I need a shower, and so do you. Probably icy would be best to cool us off."

"Is that what you really want?" Faith reaches around to cup Joyce's breasts as the door closes behind her. Giggling is heard.

"Whaaat?" Dawn sits up suddenly in her bed, looking around. She brushes the errant hair out of her face and looks around. "What's that?"

She listens for a second, and hears a light bump on the wall down the hall. She listens again, but the bump isn't repeated. Yawning,  
she's about to go back to sleep when she hears some giggling.

"What's going on out there?" She mutters to herself. Throwing off the blankets, she rises out of her bed.

Padding over to the door, she listens for awhile, but no noise is repeated. I'm dreaming. I wish. I was having the nicest dream where Xander had his arms around me, and was kissing me sooo tenderly…  
what's that?

She hears a soft moan, then some more bumps against the wall.

What the heck is going on out there?

She opens her door, and peers out. She's just in time to see the bathroom door closing.

Oh, man. Must be Buffy. Probably still a little drunk, and a lot hung over. Probably bouncing off the walls. God!

Shaking her head, she retreats to her room. Walking over to her bed,  
she notices it's 5:30 in the morning.

"Good," She mumbles, as she flings herself back into her bed. She snuggles down into the soft warmth, and soon feels the tendrils of sleep wrapping around her. Maybe I can get a few more Z's and a few more Xander Dream smoochies before I gotta get up.

She's soon back to sleep.

Buffy feels the sun on her face, groans, and rolls over, pulling the blanket over her head.

So don't want to wake up. Just want to lie here and die. Die quietly, without this pounding headache. Oooh man, it hurts.  
Everything hurts. My hair hurts… stupid, why did I go to that party,  
again? Oh yeah, Cordelia invited me. I thought we'd meet some buff guys, flirt a little, whatever. Instead I feel like I got hit by a really angry truck. And my tongue. Did they like dance on my tongue?

Feeling like crap isn't the only reason Buffy wants to hide. She knows her mom is going to be on her like flies on a corpse.  
Appropriate, considering how she feels. Just wish I could remember what happened. I had a lousy beer… ok, maybe two, next thing I know I'm on a table dancing and a bunch of guys were… what? God, I can't remember. I can't THINK with this throbber… Oh, well, I'm sure Faith filled her in on the details. Damn, I'm going to be grounded until I collect social security. This blows, so blows. I don't EVEN remember if I had fun. Everything is sooo hazy!

What am I gonna tell mom? I know I'm going to get the look. The Mom look of death. I gotta come up with something… Ok, went to Cordy's party, and we decided to move it to the Frat house? No, that won't work. Ok, ok… Cordy got a call at her party, and a friend was stuck at the Frat house. She needed our help… yeah, that's good… so we went, just to get her out of there, but… let's see… when we got there… we couldn't find her. We were looking around, and got directed to that room upstairs, and hey, everything seemed ok… it was quiet… and they said her friend would be right out, and they gave us a beer… and I know I shouldn't have drunk it, but it was only a beer, right? But they must've put something in it, and … I don't remember much after that. That's not a lie, for sure! And then Faith came in and found me, and we bolted outta there. Right, right…  
ok, that's good… was I dancing on the table? Geeze…

Buffy peeks from under the covers, and seeing the sun, drags her head back under. Ok, maybe if I'm quiet, and I stay here no one will notice I'm not there and then this drum machine in my head will stop and I'll feel better and be able to think…

"Buffy!"

Aw, crapolla ruhola! What the hell?

"Buffy! Wake UP!"

Buffy throws off the covers, and sits up, grabbing her head when the invisible spikes slam into her brain. She looks through slightly foggy eyes at her sister, dressed and standing in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. And smirking. The brat is smirking at me!

"WHAT?" Buffy growls at her, holding her head. "It's not … it's Sunday, let me alone!" Buffy collapses back on the bed.

"Mom's been calling for you like for 15 minutes… she doesn't sound happy," Dawn is almost chortling in glee.

Buffy glares balefully at her sister, wondering what shade of purple she'll turn if Buffy gets up and wraps her fingers around her smart alecky neck. With a loud groan, Buffy sits up and swings her legs to the floor. She feels dizzy, and braces herself on the bed.

"I'm sick," Buffy mumbles wretchedly, "Tell mom I'm too sick to come down right now."

"No way. Think I'm gonna get in the way of the Wrath of Mom?" Dawn laughs. "Man, you look horrible!"

"Well, you're no sight when you drag outta bed, either, squirt!"

"Yeah, well, at least I don't look like I tried to drink the party dry all by myself," Dawn makes a face, waving her hand. "You reek,  
Buffy."

"Excuse me, little Merry smart ass. I haven't had a chance to shower or nothing…"

"Yeah, you better after last night…"

" What about last night? What do you know about last night?"

"Only that you were hugging the toilet like it was your last friend,  
and vomited on the floor and junk," Dawn leans against the door jamb, her smirk bigger. "You were so bad that girl … Faith?… had to hold your head while you puked."

Buffy closes her eyes in some pain. God, she must think I'm totally gross!

"… I wouldn't worry to much about it though," Dawn says lightly, "I don't think she noticed to much after you threw up all over yourself."

Buffy groans audibly. She starts to pull the covers back over herself, desperately hoping this day, and the nightmare, will just go away.

"Hey, don't do that," Dawn comes in. She grabs the blankets and pulls them off her sister. "Mom wants to see you…"

"Get OUT!" Buffy barks, kicking out at her sister. "Just let me alone."

"Uh-uh. Mom's got that 'look' going. No way I'm telling her your not coming down. Get up, wash up and go downstairs." She grabs at Buffy's arm, pulling her up.

"You're evil, you know that, don't you? You're a changeling. They switched you with my real sister at birth," Buffy protests as Dawn drags her away from her bed, towards the door. "Your mother was a howler monkey, and your daddy…"

Her speech is cut off when Dawn shoves her in the hall and closes the door after her.

5

"Buffy! Dawn!"

Joyce stands at the foot of the stairs, looking up. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and there isn't a happy expression on her face.

"Would you girls hurry up! Breakfast is getting cold."

Dawn's face appears at the top of the stairs.

"We'll be right down, mom. Almost ready."

Her face disappears.

Joyce sighs, and turns towards the dining room, going over to stand next to her chair. She nervously grips the back, staring at the entrance to the living room.

Faith is sitting close to the end of the table, watching Joyce. She outwardly appears to be calm, but she's worried. Joyce has been fluttering about since they came downstairs.

"Joyce, sit down. Try to relax, honey."

"Relax? How can I relax?" Joyce is clearly agitated. "My eldest daughter lies to me, and goes to some college party, where she nearly gets raped. She's been pushing the envelope for awhile, but this burst right through it. My god, I don't even have a clue how to control her anymore. Talking to her doesn't work, I've tried grounding her. God, I even hit her when she got me so angry…" Joyce finds herself suddenly short of breath. "God, I can't even breathe now…"

Faith gets up, and goes to Joyce, putting her arm around her.

"Baby, it's not gonna help if you get yourself all bent. Nothing happened to Buffy, she's fine. And believe me, she's going to be suffering for awhile with a killer hangover. I don't think she'll be pulling any crap like that again."

"God, I wish I could believe you. But I can't even trust her out of my sight anymore! God, what if she'd been hurt… or worse? If you hadn't been there…"

"But I was, Joyce, I was…" She tries to hug Joyce, but Joyce pulls away. Sighing, Faith returns to her seat. "It's not really about her though, is it?"

"Of course it's about her! This is the last straw! I'm really considering boarding school. I just can't take this anymore…"

"Joyce, you know as well as I do that you're supermom. You'd figure this out. It's the other… isn't it?"

A string seems to be cut in Joyce, and all of a sudden, she slumps,  
sitting heavily in her chair. Leaning on her hand, she looks at Faith.

"How am I going to tell them? I mean, they're going to be devastated."

"I'm no expert, Joyce, that's a fact. But I don't think you raised dumb daughters. They gotta know things haven't been hunky dory 'round here for awhile. And it's not like this is the first time you went through this with them. They aren't gonna be doing cartwheels, that's for sure. But they're not gonna be bowled over,  
either. Not if they got any sense at all."

"Easy for you to say. You've never been through this…"

"Yeah, well, it wasn't a bunch of roses when I came out to my parents, Joyce," Faith says, her eyes narrowing a little. "They pretty much divorced me. Well, cut me dead might be a better description…"

Joyce, immediately regretful, reaches out and cover's Faith's hand.

"I'm sorry, Faith. I forgot. That must've been horrible for you."

"It wasn't Sunday in the park, gotta say. But the deal is, I got over it, Joyce. Not saying it doesn't bother me at times, but I dealt. They'll deal, too. If they're anything like their mom,  
they'll deal ok." She squeezes Joyce's hand. "Everything's gonna be 5 by 5 Joyce, trust me."

"5 by 5? What's that mean?" Joyce looks puzzled.

"Sorry. An expression I picked up from my dad. He was in the military, Air force. It really good, at least that's how I mean it…"

"You really miss them, don't you? Your folks?"

"Yeah, gotta admit I do. I mean, they're a bunch of bigoted,  
stubborn Mick potato eaters, but they're my folks, Joyce. I love 'em, even if the feeling's not mutual…" Faith frowns a little.

"Trust me. They might be … disappointed, Faith, but they love you.  
They do. I'm a mom, I know these things. I bet they miss you too."

"Sure they do. So much so that when anyone asks after me, they say they got three sons, but don't got a daughter," Faith chuckles, but it's a bitter laugh.

"Oh, Faith," Joyce squeezes her hand back, "I'm sorry. I mean…"

"Forget it, Joyce. What's done is done, can't undone it."

"Have you talked to Paulie lately?"

"Ya mean that big galoot I introduced you to in Boston? The one pretending to be my brother?" Faith grins crookedly. "We aint on the best of terms, if you catch my drift."

"It's because of me, isn't it?" There's a little guilt in Joyce's voice. "I remember he didn't like me too much."

"Aw, what does that mook know, anyway?" Faith makes a rude noise. "He's just pissed cuz I decided to come out here after ya.  
He's a dope… I mean, look at his parents." She grins.

"Faith! He's your brother. He stuck by you even after your parents didn't. You should make it up with him." Joyce sighs. "I know I came off bad with him, and considering what happened in Salem, can you blame him? He must see me as the conniving bitch that broke his little sister's heart." She smiles at Faith. "I like him, even if,  
as you say, the feeling's not mutual."

"Aw, he's a dope Joyce. He don't know ya like I do. If he did, and wasn't such a blockhead, he'd see what a classy lady you are!"

"You're such the charmer, aren't you?" Joyce says, but she can't help blushing a little from happiness. God, she's the sweetest thing. How could her parents not adore her?

The sound of footsteps is heard on the stairs, and the two let of each other's hands, returning them to their owners.

" Would you stop, already?" Buffy's voice full of impatience, is heard ." Stop making a big deal out of it."

"Fine, whatEVER!" Dawn shoots back, sounding disgusted. "Look like a drowned rat. See if I care!"

"Well, I sure don't. I mean, it's only mom, for god's sake. I feel like crap, what do I care if I look…"

Buffy enters the dining room and stops dead in her tracks when she sees Faith sitting at the table. A large blush suffuses her face.

Dawn, not paying attention, runs into her sister, knocking her forward, almost into the table.

" … crap!" Buffy swears.

"Move your … oh… hey, what're you doing here?" Dawn notices Faith for the first time. She walks around Buffy and smiles. "Ignore my stupid older sister. Hey."

"Hey," Faith responds, raising a hand.

"What're you doing here?" Buffy's tone is surprised, suspicious and embarrassed. She's suddenly very aware she's in some rather old clothes, and her hair is lying limp on her head.

"I asked her to stay," Joyce says simply, her tone neutral. " I mean, she did bring you home last night, and she left her motorcycle at the college. She didn't have any way to get home except walk, and I wasn't going to let her walk that late at night. And anyway, I would think you could be a touch more grateful, young lady,  
considering!"

Buffy looks upset, humiliated and contrite all at once. Oh, great going, Buffy. Make her feel unwelcome, why don't you. Are you congenitally stupid, or did you just pick that up on your own?

"Hey, I'm sorry," Buffy says, looking down, "really. And thanks, I mean it." She looks up.

"Hey, it's cool, don't sweat it," Faith says. "And you were right,  
Buffy," Faith indicates the empty plate in front of her, " the waffles were great. Thanks again, Joyce."

Oh, we're on first name basis now? Buffy looks at the two of them.

"A pleasure, Faith," Joyce nods.

"You made waffles? So cool, mom," Dawn smiles. "Can I have some?"

"Help yourself, honey, they're in the kitchen."

"Thanks, mom," Dawn starts towards the kitchen. Buffy starts to follow her.

"Where exactly are you going, Buffy?" Joyce says, stopping her with her voice.

"!… was going to get some breakfast…"

"I think we need to have a little talk, don't you?"

Buffy frowns, but turns back towards the table.

"Joyce, maybe you should let her get something to eat. She looks pretty awful. She might listen better on a full stomach."

Buffy shoots Faith a grateful look.

"I really will, mom. Please?"

Joyce waves impatiently towards the kitchen; Buffy bolts before she can change her mind.

"I really wish you wouldn't do that," Joyce says, a little annoyed .

"What?" Faith looks a little puzzled. "Joyce, I know hangovers,  
believe me. I specialized in them for awhile. Thing is, if she's like me, she has a drum beating in her head right now, and she wouldn't hear hardly anything you said. Eating will help that a little."

"I really wish I felt sorry for her, but I don't, Faith. She did this to herself." She frowns. "You interfering for her won't help any."

"Ok, I'm sorry, ok?" Faith shakes her head. "Won't say another word,  
ok?"

" Great waffles as usual," Dawn comes bursting in, carrying a plate and breaking up the conversation. "Thanks again, mom." She makes her way to the table, deliberately sitting across from Faith. "Aren't you gonna have any?" She starts on her breakfast.

"Hey, I already ate like 3, you know?" Faith grins. "They're great,  
but I'm stuffed."

Buffy comes in, carrying a plate. She sees Dawn sitting across from Faith, and frowns. She sits down across from her mom, and looks down at her plate.

"So, you got a bike, huh?" Dawn says, ignoring her sister and talking to Faith. "I think that's so cool."

"it's nothing, really. Just an old junker I brought back from the dead. It's not fancy, but it gets me there."

"Wow, you like repaired it yourself? That's awesome." Dawn grins at Faith.

"Yeah, well, where I grew up, if ya didn't do it yourself, you weren't gonna have it. Not lots of money to go around for like bikes and stuff. Anyway, I had 3 idiot brothers to help me with the heavy lifting," Faith chuckles. "They're all thumbs when it comes to bikes, but my brother Paulie is pretty good with cars."

"Buffy, are you planning on eating those, or just going to stare at them?" Joyce asks, a little impatiently.

"I'm not hungry," Buffy mutters, pushing the plate away. She starts to get up.

"Sit down, young lady. We've got some talking to do."

Buffy looks as if she's going to say something, but thinks better of it. She sits back down.

"What?" She says, looking at her mom.

"Well, I'd rather like an explanation for last night, Buffy."

"God, mom!" Buffy looks over at Faith. " Geeze, we have company for god's sake!"

"Hey, maybe I should split," Faith stands up. "I gotta get my bike back anyway and …"

"Sit down, Faith," Joyce almost snaps at her. Then she turns and softens her tone. "Please, you're part of this, ok?"

Faith sighs, sitting back down.

Buffy sits silently, staring at both of them. What's going on here?

Joyce turns her attention back to Buffy.

"You lied to me, Buffy. You said you were going to your friends house, to her party, and you wind up at a college fraternity party.  
What do you have to say about that?"

"Didn't lie," Buffy says sullenly.

"Buffy, don't sit there and try to lie to me again!"

"I didn't lie. I started out at Cordelia's, but she got a call from a friend who got stuck at that college party. We only went to try to help her out…"

"So, of course, you just happened to wander upstairs, and happened to have some beers, and just decided to what? Have sex with half the boys there? Is that what you're telling me?"

"No! Of course not!" Buffy mutters. " Just … well, ok, I had a beer…  
ONE beer… but they musta put something in it, cuz I don't remember anything much after…"

"What were you doing even having ONE beer, young lady? Last time I checked, you had to be 21 to drink in this state…"

"God, mom, it was just a beer. Everyone was drinking beer…"

"And I suppose if everyone decided to jump off the roof, well, you'd do that too?"

Buffy mutters something under her breath.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that," Joyce says, tightly.

"I said, like you'd even care."

Joyce sits there, stunned.

"My god, Buffy! You're my daughter! Of course I care about what happens to you. What is wrong with you?"

"Oh, really? So how come you're like never here anymore? You're always at the gallery. Geeze, I hardly remember I have a mom. You're there almost every night…"

"Buffy, how many times do I have to explain it to you? This is a new business. It takes a lot of time to set up. It's not like you and Dawn are 10 years old. You're almost an adult… well, age wise,  
anyway. Do I have to be here every night for you? Do you really want that? Or is this just a way to make me feel bad. Believe me, I'd rather be at home. But, frankly, that just can't be anymore, Buffy.  
I have to make a go of this business so I can support us…"

"What about Dad? He can support us…"

"You're father… " Joyce shakes her head, realizing she has no choice. She has to tell them, and now. "… isn't part of this anymore, Buffy."

Both Dawn and Buffy look at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asks. Her tone is bordering on hostile.

"That means, you're Father and I just agreed Thursday night that this charade can't go on any longer. We're getting a divorce."

Buffy and Dawn look at each other, both a little stunned. Then Buffy smiles cynically.

"Yeah, sure, you said that last summer, too. We saw how that happened."

"It's happening, Buffy. Your father has signed the divorce papers. I just need to file them."

"But… but I thought you and he worked it out…" Dawn says, still confused, working on hurt. "I thought you were back together…"

"Honey," Joyce turns to her younger daughter. "We tried. We really did. But it just didn't work out." For some reason, Joyce still protects her ex-husband. "We just know it's not going to work,  
honey. So, we finally decided this would be for the best."

"For whom? For you?" Buffy says, her tone turning ugly. "So, now what? You kick out dad so you can go running around with whoever it is you've been having those 'late night meetings' with? Do you think I'm stupid, mom? Don't you think I know you've been cheating on Dad?  
What kind of…"

SLAP!

"Joyce!" Faith stands up.

"Mom!" Dawn shouts.

"Well, well…" Buffy rubs her burning cheek. "Truth hurts, huh,  
Joyce ?"

"Go to your room, Buffy. I don't want to look at you right now"  
Joyce's voice is strained from restraining her anger. "I've had enough of your lip, young lady."

"I'm not going anywhere, Joyce," Buffy almost sneers at her. "I just call 'em as I see 'em"

"Dawn?" Joyce turns to her youngest daughter. "Go upstairs or outside. I don't care which, just leave the room, please."

"No, I'm not going anywhere! I'm part of this family too!"

Joyce shuts her eyes, then sighs.

"Fine, maybe you should both find out what kind of man your father is. Buffy, I know you think Hank Summers walks on water, he can do no wrong. Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but your father is a lying, cheating bastard!"

"Don't you call my dad a bastard, you whore!"

Joyce feels a strong urge to slap her daughter again, but restrains herself.

"It's a fact, Buffy. Like it or not. I have proof if you need it,  
but your father has been cheating on me for years. I've tried to ignore it, look the other way, but frankly, I've had enough. And after your father hit me on Thursday, I wasn't taking any more!"

"He hit you?" Dawn almost gasps

"You're so lying. You're just trying to make him look bad, so you look good. He'd never hit you!"

"You want proof?" Joyce suddenly grabs her daughter, and drags her into the living room.

"Joyce! What're you doing!" Faith follows her, and is followed by Dawn.

"Showing her proof," Joyce says, pulling Buffy over close to the wall. "See that dent in the wall, Buffy? Wasn't there before Thursday. That's where your father knocked me against the wall." She grabs Buffy's hand, and puts it to her head. "Feel that? That's the bump I still have from your father's little escapade."

She roughly turns her daughter around.

"Look carefully, Buffy. Notice anything missing?"

Buffy looks, and shakes her head.

"Remember the lamp that used to sit there?" She points at the now empty side table. "That's the one your father threw at me Thursday night." She turns Buffy around to face her. "Get it through your head, Buffy Anne Summers. You're father's no misunderstood saint.  
He's a wife beating philanderer. The sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be!"

Buffy's face is red, and her eyes are shiny, as if she's going to cry. She pushes Joyce away from her violently. Without saying another word, she runs up the stairs, two at a time. A few seconds later, her door is heard to slam shut.

Joyce starts up the stairs, but Faith stops her.

"I've got to go to her…"

"Let her be, Joyce. She needs to work this out for herself."

"But…"

"Joyce, I think you have someone else who needs some attention."

Joyce turns, and sees Dawn staring at her, wide eyed. She looks stunned, confused and upset.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. That's why I wanted you to…"

"He hit you?" Dawn asks in a quiet, shocked tone. "Dad hit you?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't want you to know. I don't want you to be angry at him…"

"I called him… I thought …oh god ,mom, I'm sooo sorry, I didn't know he'd…" Dawn starts to shake.

"Baby, baby, it's ok, it's ok, " Joyce goes to Dawn, taking her in her arms. "I know you didn't mean anything bad." She rubs Dawn's back. "It's ok, now, honey… really…"

"I… why… how could he be so… " Dawn breaks from her mother's arms. "I…" She looks at Joyce, then at Faith, then back at her mother. "God, I'm so sorry…"

Turning, she runs upstairs.

Joyce suddenly feels dizzy, and sits down hard in one of the chairs.

"Joyce, honey, are you ok?" Faith comes to her, kneeling by her chair.

"No, I'm really not," Joyce says, softly, staring at her feet. She looks up at Faith, an odd expression on her face.

"Well, that really went well, didn't it?"

Faith just sits by her, gently stroking her arm.

TBC.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Joss owns All 

Feedback: yes

Pairing: Joyce/Faith

A/N This is A/U folks. meaning. Dawn is alive, Everyones Human, it takes place pre- sunnydale, and joyce gets her freak on with a young hot chick. though it's not fuffy hope you give it a chance anyway

A/N:2 those of you who want to see faith's customized bike.

http/ params14262/1537220/-1281449443&sendnameB.+Halyaman

A change of seasons, Chapter 12

1

A quiet fell over the Revello drive household; the kind of false stillness that oft presages a storm.

Joyce and Faith have moved to the dining room. They are sitting at the now cleared table, drinking coffee and talking.

"I knew it was going to be bad," Joyce says quietly, turning her cup with her hands, "but I didn't realize it would be that bad."

"They're just upset, Joyce. I'd be more worried if they hadn't been upset," Faith says quietly. "It's a lot for them to take in at one sitting."

"God, what kind of mother just blurts it out like that?" Joyce shakes her head in wonder. "I shouldn't have let her get me so upset. I've got to be the worst ever."

"Joyce, don't do this to yourself," Faith reaches over, covering her hand. "You're human, and she was baiting you for a reaction. Even I know that. I did it quite a few times with my parents."

"Yeah, and look how that turned out," Joyce frowns.

"That's different. You're not anything like my mom and dad, ok?  
They're bigoted, racist homophobes. I didn't get that til they punched my ticket. You love your daughters; you'd do anything for them."

"She hates me, Faith. She really hates me. Did you see the look in her eyes?"

"She's hurt and confused, Joyce. She doesn't know what to think.  
You're close. She can't go off on her dad; he's not here. Another plus in the old Hank Summers column as I see it. He sticks you with the dirty work."

"He didn't want this. He's not about to make it easier for me."

"Well, yeah he doesn't. He's got exactly what he wants. A wife that stays home with the kids, freedom to go out and fuck every skirt he can find, and hey, if she makes waves, he'll beat her up!"

"Faith!"

"It's true Joyce. I mean, I can only go by what I see, but this bastard hit you because you stood up for yourself. You weren't the compliant little wife that just took it. Is that the kinda guy you want teaching your daughters how to act? I don't think so, unless you wanna make them Stepford wives. He's an abuser and an user,  
Joyce. The sooner you get rid of him, the better for all of you."

"He wasn't always like this, Faith. He used to be a good husband, a good father. He loved us, I know it. He did," Joyce shakes her head. "I don't know what changed. I really don't." She looks at Faith plaintively. "Maybe it was me, maybe I changed, and he… fell out of love with me."

"He changed, Joyce. People change. But you can't blame yourself for it. He's the prick here, Joyce. It's not your fault he's a prick.  
From what you told me, he did that all by himself."

"Maybe, Faith. But they don't get that…" She looks at the ceiling,  
towards the bedrooms. "He's just Daddy to them. Even when I tried to tell them the truth, they don't really want to believe it. Not in their hearts. God, can you blame them? They love him. Especially Buffy. To her, he can't do any wrong." She grins a little ruefully. "I didn't help that any by not telling her the truth from the get go."

"Joyce, I'll admit, I'm like a novice here. I mean, I've never gone through this. So, I can only say that you need to talk to her.  
Buffy. And make her deal with reality. This is going to happen, no matter, right?"

Joyce hesitates for a moment, then nods. "Yes. I can't have him around here anymore. Not putting up with his crap anymore. And I don't really want him near the girls…" She looks at Faith, and chuckles. "And, then I still have to tell them about you moving in"  
She sighs.

"Look, Joyce, maybe we should wait on that … I mean, I want to be here. I don't like the idea that that prick is out there… and can hurt you. But if you think it's going to be too tough for them to handle on top of the divorce…"

"No, no. You were right last night. You need to be here. I'm really scared, Faith, really scared. Not for me; I can deal with him. But you didn't see the look in his eyes Thursday night. He… I swear for a moment he was totally crazy. What if he hurt them, to get at me"  
She nixes that idea with a shake of her head. "No, I need you here"  
She looks at Faith, an almost hungry look in her eye. "I need you."

Faith gets up, and walking to Joyce, cups her face and kisses her gently. Joyce sighs, and leans against Faith.

"God, how did I ever even manage before you came along? I never knew how much I needed someone who understands me like you do…" Joyce leans against Faith, and Faith strokes her hair to comfort her.

"Look, I got a dumb idea. If it's totally stupid, you let me know.  
But I think maybe you need to talk to Buffy alone, without any distractions. I was thinking, I could take Dawn out with me, give you some time alone with Buffy. If maybe you can get her onboard with this divorce thing, and me being here, then I think Dawn will come onboard."

"That's not dumb at all Faith. That's a very good idea. Just, do you think Dawn will do it?"

"Yeah, I think so. I think she's feeling kinda guilty about calling Hank, and probably needs to get out of here for awhile. I don't think she wants to face you…"

"I'm not angry at her. I know she didn't mean anything bad…"

"I know that, and you know that. She doesn't."

"It'd be great if you could get her out of here for awhile. Maybe if Dawn isn't in on the conversation, ragging on her sister, and vice versa, she'll actually listen..." Joyce nods, "…and maybe I'll tone down the anti-Hank rhetoric too. I don't think making Hank the villain will sell my case. She'll just close up." She looks at Faith. "Yeah, this could work."

"She should know what kind of man her father is, Joyce…"

"I know, I know… but she needs to learn that herself. She's not going to believe me, not entirely…"

Faith doesn't like it. She's convinced that as long as Buffy worships her father, things are going to be bad for Joyce, and for Buffy. But she also is smart enough to know not to contradict Joyce.  
Not on this.

"Ok, anyway, I'll go upstairs and talk to Dawn."

She gets up and starts to leave, but Joyce grabs her hand.

"Thanks, Faith. You being here, supporting me… it means a lot. It really does…" She takes Faith's hand, and kisses the palm. "I love you."

Faith smiles broadly, which warms Joyce's heart. She leans over, and kisses Joyce, lingering for awhile on her lips.

"I love you too, Joyce."

Faith walks out of the room, and starts upstairs.

2

Buffy stands at the window to her room, staring out at the morning.  
Her head is still hurting from last night, and her eyes ache, and are wet with tears. She sighs heavily.

Outwardly calm now, inside she's roiling with emotion.

It's lies. All lies. She's lying about dad because she hates him.

If only she could truly convince herself of that.

She felt the bump on her mother's head, saw the marks on the wall.  
She knows she's not lying about that. Why would he do that? Why would he hurt her? Buffy frowns, staring down at the lawn. He must've caught her doing something wrong. Something bad. He had to.  
He had to be provoked into it.

Despite her desire, however, it just doesn't add up. She knows her mom; her mom isn't a fighter. She doesn't like to fight. And she's not the type to do something so bad that her dad would hit her. It just doesn't add up. But it's gotta add up. She must've…

A little voice in her head disagrees. The little voice tells her that her mom is right. She doesn't want to believe that voice. She hates that voice. She loves her daddy, and she's not going to buy into the lie. She just won't!

If it's true, if what she says is true, what then? Oh god, if it's true, then what happened is all wrong. All wrong! I'm…

She pushes that thought away. She can't deal with that thought right now. She can't deal with that thought, ever. She has to believe. She has to.

She walks over to her bed, falling back onto it so her feet are still on the floor. She lays there, staring at the ceiling.

She just wishes that little voice would shut up and leave her alone!

She sits up, and hits the on button to her radio. She cranks it up a little.

She just wants to stop thinking.

3

Faith walks down the hall towards Dawn's room, pausing briefly at the door to Buffy's. As she stands there, the radio comes on, the music muted but not stopped by the door.

Why do I get the feeling that life with you is never going to be easy? She shakes her head, and moves on down the hall.

She stops at Dawn's door, and knocks lightly.

"Buffy, if that's you again, go away! I really don't wanna listen to your crap anymore," Dawn calls through the door.

"Dawn, it's me, Faith. Not Buffy."

"Oh. OH!"

Faith hears some scraping and clattering going on in the room.  
Well, I wonder what little Dawn is hiding out? She grins, knowing how she used to hide 'stuff' from the 'old folks'. Oh, great. Now I'm an old folk. Swell.

"Can I come in?" Faith calls through the door.

"Minute, just a minute!" Dawn calls back. And the scraping noises continue.

Faith sighs, and rolls her eyes heavenwards. She finally starts to get her parent's impatience when she used to do the same thing.

"Come in. You can come in now."

Faith turned the knob, and walked in, seeing Dawn sitting on her bed, looking at her. She walked towards her, sitting on the bed next to her.

"Hey. Thought I'd see how you were doing."

"I'm ok," Dawn says, not looking very ok at all. Her hands were in her lap, and she was fussing with them nervously.

"I wouldn't be," Faith said simply.

Dawn looks up at her sharply.

"I'm just saying, after what your mom told you, if it were me, I'd probably be pretty upset, you know?" She nods, "Yeah, I'd be upset.  
Pretty mad, too."

"I'm not mad," Dawn says, but her voice betrays her. Her lips work on her face, as if trying to hide something. "Well, maybe a little."

"Hey, I get it. I do," Faith says. "My parents never divorced or nothing, but they did boot my ass out of the house. I was pretty pissed."

Dawn's eyes go wide. "They threw you out?"

"Yeah, well, you see I…" She hesitates, thinking maybe she shouldn't tell Dawn about her sexuality quite yet. "…did something that really upset them. I mean, really upset them. So much so they kinda well disowned me… and well, they showed me the door."

"Gosh, you must've done something awful," Dawn looks at her with a mixture of nervous wonder and respect. " I mean, totally."

"Well, I don't think so, but… I guess we see things different, you know?" Faith hedges, "Thing is, when they did it, I got so angry I for sure thought I hated them. I really did." She grins a little sadly. "Thing is, after I cooled off, I found out I didn't hate them. Didn't like 'em a whole lot, cuz they're a bunch of…" she looks at Dawn, and grins wider, "well, never mind, thing is I still love them. And I miss them. It's stupid but I do. I just wish I could talk to them again, just once. You know?"

Dawn looks stricken. "Are they dead?" She whispers.

"Huh? No, no," Faith shakes her head. "No, they're quite alive,  
living in Boston. No, they just pretty much consider me dead,  
though. They won't take my calls or let me come by or anything. If anyone of my buds ask after me, they say they don't have a daughter…"

"Even your mom?" Dawn asks, wide eyed. "She hates you too?"

Faith's face softens for a moment. "It's funny. I ran into my mom in the market one time, you know? I come from a small neighborhood.  
Can't avoid anyone forever. Anyway, it happened. She looked at me,  
and for a moment I saw something in her eyes… I don't know if it was concern and love or what… but then she didn't say anything, and just turned away… I think that hurt most of all." She makes an impatient noise. "I'm not the point here, Dawn. The point is, I know you're really angry at your mom right now, and I get it. But don't hold onto it, ok? Get over it. She really loves you… both of you."

"I'm not mad… not really… just… she really hates me, doesn't she…  
this is all my fault." Dawn bites her lip and looks away.

"Your fault?" Faith looks puzzled. "Exactly where did that come from?"

"This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't called dad to come. He never would've hit mom, and she wouldn't need to divorce him…"

"Whoa up, kid. Now, that's just crazy!"

"I'm not a kid!"

"No, you're not, are you?" Faith purses her lips. "So, don't think dumb things like a kid. This… what happened, had squat to do with you. Your mom isn't divorcing your dad because of the other night.  
Look here, Dawn, sometimes people just can't get along with each other. They change, ok? And that's what happened here, ya know? It's nothing to do with you or your sister. They would've divorced no matter what eventually."

"But why now?"

"Not a clue, kid. Maybe it just hit the breaking point, you know?  
You can go along putting up with crap for a long time, but something finally just snaps inside and you can't do it anymore. You can't pretend anymore. Get it?"

"I guess," Dawn mumbles. She sighs and looks down at her hands. "this blows."

"Yeah it does," Faith agrees. "But are ya gonna waste the day feeling sorry for yourself? Cuz if you are, then I'll just take off without you…"

"Huh?" Dawn looks up. "Without me? What're you talking about?"

"Well, I got some stuff to do, like get my bike back and stuff. And I was thinkin' I'd kinda like to look around this stupid little town a little. I mean if I'm gonna be around here, kinda like to get to know where stuff is. I was thinkin' maybe you could show me the cool places. You know, if you're not too busy with that Pity Party you got goin' on?"

Dawn tries to play it cool, not look too eager. She's already liking this new girl, and she wants her to think she's not some kid. "Hey,  
not stupid here, you know. Mom wants me outta the house so she can like, well, deal with Buffy, right?"

Faith grins broadly, showing her dimples. "I knew you were the smart one." She nods, "yeah, she like needs some time with your sis. So,  
wanna motor outta here?" She gives Dawn a sidelong glance. "I mean,  
if hanging out with me isn't majorly gross or something."

Are you like kidding? Dawn thinks. This is major cool with a side of total awesome. "Well, I guess it won't be too bad, ya know." She shrugs her boredom.

"Cool. So, I guess we'll catch a bus and get downtown so I can get some cash…"

"Where do you think you are? Boston? You're kidding, right? I mean,  
Sunnydale is like… tiny. We can walk to downtown in about 15 minutes. Only losers take the bus." Dawn shakes her head.

"Whatever. But I'm not walkin' 5 miles to get my bike."

"Maybe mom could loan you her car…"

"Don't think your mom is gonna wanna loan me the car, do you? And,  
whose gonna drive it back when I got the bike, anyway?"

"Oh, yeah," Dawn makes a face. "Well, I guess we could take the bus to the campus…"

"Cool beans. So, ya ready to go?"

"Like this?" Dawn indicates her outfit. "I can't go out like this."

Faith shakes her head, smirking. Girls, I swear. "Yeah, ok, I'll wait downstairs for ya. But don't take too long, I wanna get going."

"I'll be ready in 5, 10 minutes outside." She rushes to her closet.

Faith gets up, walking out of the room. She smiles as she hits the stairs.

That was easy enough. Maybe Joyce won't have as much trouble as she thinks.

Sure, Faith, and Santa Claus really got you that bike when you were 7, right?

She trots down the stairs.

4

Joyce leans on the railing at the top of the stair, hesitating. She really doesn't want to make that short walk down the hall to Buffy's room.

Quit stalling, Joyce. The sooner you do this, the sooner it's over.

Yes, or the sooner she's even angrier with me.

Right. Is that really possible? Just do it, Joyce.

Even from here, she can hear the music playing loudly in Buffy's room. That's never a good sign. She walks down the hall until she reaches her room.

"Buffy?" Joyce knocks on her door. "Open up, please. I need to talk to you."

She wait for a few moments, and getting no response, she knocks louder, figuring Buffy didn't hear her the first time.

"Buffy! Open up, I need to talk to you!"

She hears something, but can't really make it out for the music.

"Buffy, I can't hear over the stereo. Please, open this door!"

Suddenly the music goes off.

"There's nothing to talk about, Go away!" Buffy yells. "Are you deaf?"

"Elizabeth Anne Summers, open this door right now!"

"No!"

"Five count, then I'm doing it. One way, or another. One…. Two.  
Three …."

Suddenly the door opens, and Buffy, a deep frown on her face, is standing there, staring at Joyce.

"May I come in?"

"Can I stop you?" Buffy stands, hands on hips.

God, you're so much like Hank sometimes I just want to… Joyce! This is your daughter! Stop that!

"Actually, no you can't" Joyce says, barging into the room.

"Well, duh. Like I didn't know that," Buffy retreats into the room. "Not that you're very strong on the concept of privacy."

"What's that supposed to mean, Buffy?" Joyce is standing by her bed.

"You think I don't know you and dad rifled through my stuff last year? You think I'm that stupid?"

"We were worried about you, Buffy. You started acting so strangely.  
What did you expect us to do? Just sit back and watch you self destruct?"

Buffy smiles cynically. "Yeah, right. So that's why you went through my journals, too? Those were private! Those were my private thoughts! You had no right to read those!"

"You're my daughter, Buffy Anne Summers. Like it or not, I have a right to do whatever I need to do to find out why you were acting insanely."

"Did you even think to ask me? Maybe I would've told you… then"  
Buffy walks over and flounces on her bed. "But no, you had to go snooping, right Joyce? Because that's what your good at, right?  
Sneaking around behind peoples' backs?" Her lips tighten. "Like this Divorce thing. Do you even tell Dawn or me what's going on? No, you just sneak around and drop it on us like a bomb. Boom! It's done."

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I know I should've prepared you better, but I really didn't decide finally until Thursday night to go through with it. I'm sorry, but I'm not staying married to a man who beats me…"

"So you say."

"Buffy! I showed you the proof that it happened. What more do you want?"

"How do I know that it happened like you said? You didn't come home til late that night. For all I know you were drunk and stumbled into the wall, hurting yourself."

Joyce stands there, shocked. She can't believe what she just heard her daughter say.

"My god, Buffy. Is that what you believe? You think I'd lie to you about something like Henry hitting me?" She comes around in front of her daughter. "Have you ever seen me drunk, Buffy?"

"No," Buffy admits, reluctantly, "but then again, I've never seen dad beat you either. Or even threaten to. So, I really don't know what to believe!"

"Why would I lie about this, Buffy?"

"Why wouldn't you? I mean, you make dad look bad, and you the victim. It's perfect, don't you think?"

"You really hate me that much?" Joyce's tone is dead. "You really believe I would do something like that?"

"Frankly?" She turns to her mother, eyes angry. "I don't care about you, or what you do, for that matter. You disgust me. Do whatever the hell you want, I frankly don't give a crap." She turns away from her mother.

Joyce stands very still, feeling as if she might black out. Her heart is beating erratically in her chest. She feels a great pain welling up, and it's hard to breathe. As if someone stabbed her in the heart, then twisted the knife.

"Very well, Buffy," Joyce's tone is soft and cold. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but at the end of the day, it doesn't change anything. The divorce is happening." Her face hardens. "Another thing, for that little stunt you pulled last night? I'd forget about anything but going to school and coming home for the rest of the year. No going out with your friends, no after school activities,  
none of that. You've proven to me you can't be trusted out of my sight. So, you'll be spending all of your time supervised."

"Really? How about those nights when you have an opening, or have to be at the gallery. What then?" Buffy folds her arms over her chest,  
smirking.

"Then Faith will be here to keep an eye on you."

"WHAT?"

"I've decided to take Faith on as a boarder."

"That's insane!" Buffy protests. "She's a stranger. What do we know about her? She might be a serial killer for all we know!"

"I know she rescued my daughter from getting herself raped… when was that? Oh yes, just last night," Joyce's tone is a tad sarcastic. "And frankly, Buffy? I don't have a lot of choices. I can't count on Hank to contribute to the household, now that the divorce is going through. Not that he's been so generous of late,  
anyway. If we had to count on his contributions to get by, frankly we'd be starving. So, since Faith is needing a place, and since I'm going to need the extra money, she's staying. I'm going to fix up the basement for her."

"No way! No way! I'm not gonna live here now. I'll go live with dad in L.A." She gets up off the bed, and heads towards the phone. "I hate this stupid town, anyway."

"Go ahead and ask, Buffy. But I can tell you the answer already.  
It's no."

"Why should I believe you?" She dials a number, and waits. One ring,  
then two and three. She's about convinced that his voicemail is going to pick up when she hears a click and a 'hello?' on the other end of the line. " Hi, Dad? It's me… Buffy… yes… look, dad, mom told me about the divorce… yeah… ummm… look, I can't stay here… can I live with you? I mean, down in L.A. ?…" there's a pause while she listens. " What? No… I mean… well, yes, but really I can't be here anymore… what?… but, daddy…I … oh… uh-huh… I see… yes, ok… ok… no,  
no, I get it. Sure, I can see… yes… ok, well… yes… ok… goodbye…" She hangs up the phone, and trudges back to the bed. She doesn't look at her mother at all.

Joyce, despite her own hurt, can't help but feel bad for the girl.  
She looks utterly defeated, as if someone just hit her in the face.  
She reaches out and puts a hand on Buffy's arm.

"Honey, I'm sorry, I tried to tell you…"

"Just leave me alone, ok?" She shakes off Joyce's hand. "Just get out. I want to be alone."

"Buffy…"

"No, stop it. Stop pretending you care. You don't care. Nobody cares, ok? I get that. Got it loud and clear. You won, ok?" She turns on her mother, her eyes narrowed almost shut. "I'm stuck in your little prison until I get to be 18. Fine, whatever. I don't give a damn. Cuz, once I'm 18, I'm gonna find a job, and get as far away from you and this house and everyone as I can. Got it? You can't keep me here one second longer than I want to. Now get OUT!"

"Buffy, that's not true! I love you… I…"

"Get out! Get Out! GET OUT!" Buffy yells. She's on her feet, pushing her mother towards the door.

"Buffy, please, listen to me…."

"GET OUT!" Buffy shoves her through the door, and slams it closed.

Joyce stands there for a second, stunned. She hears a click,  
indicating the door's been locked. She tries the knob, then knocks loudly on the door.

"Buffy! Let me in! Please, honey…"

The music comes on suddenly, louder than before.

"Buffy, please, honey…"

There's no response. Joyce bangs on the door a few more times; then she gives up. She wanders away from the door, seemingly in a daze.

The pain her chest has grown larger. A lot larger.

She makes her way to the stairs, then suddenly sits down hard on the top step. Her legs don't seem to want to support her anymore.

Nothing seems to want to support her anymore.

It's all wrong. It's all just so wrong.

She leans her face on her hands, and starts to cry.

5

"Ok, and that over there," Dawn points at a building that looks like it might have been a gas station in an earlier life."… that's the Espresso Pump…"

Dawn and Faith are sitting on a bus bench, waiting for the number 5 bus to take them to UC Sunnydale. They've spent the last hour or so strolling around Sunnydale's Downtown section. Dawn has been pointing out the 'cool' and 'not so cool' places to Faith.

"… they make like the coolest double mochas! I mean, totally sugary goodness, you know? Me and Xander and Willow hang out a lot there. I mean, it's the coolest place in town when the Bronze isn't open.  
Well, except maybe for the game arcade at the mall…"

"You seem to hang out with these characters a lot. What're their names again?"

"Oh… Xander and Willow? Oh yeah, they're like my bestest buds here in SunnyD. I mean, Willow, she's like so smart! My god, she's into computers, and science, and she's interested in witchcraft…"

"You mean, like boiling caldrons and spells and junk?" Faith can't help chuckling a little. "You mean like that shop you dragged me to?"

"The Magic Box? Oh man, that place is so totally cool. I mean they got the totally neatest stuff ever! Willow is going there all the time, getting supplies and junk and she… what?" Dawn hears the chuckling.

"Oh, C'mon Dawn. You don't really believe in that stuff, do you? I mean magic? It's bunkum." Faith shakes her head.

"Really? Well, I think it's real."

"What next Dawn? You're going to tell me there's like… vampires"  
Faith puts her hands up to her mouth, simulating fangs. " I vant to drink your Blood!" She lunges at Dawn, and Dawn squeals.

"Of course not!" Dawn is laughing now too. " Those are just movies.  
But witchcraft? That's like totally real."

Faith makes a face.

"It IS!" Dawn insists, "I mean, it's a religion and everything. It's got prayers and gods and the whole bit."

"Dawn, you're making that up."

"I so am not! You ask Willow. Better, look it up. Wicca. It's totally real!"

"Yeah, well, I'll buy that as soon as your buddy turns me into a frog, ok?" Faith waves a disbelieving hand at her.

"Oh, I don't think she'd do that," Dawn gets a sly look on her face. "Uh-uh, no way."

"Right, because magic is bunkum."

"No, because, you're too totally cute. Willow I'm sure would think you're drool worthy."

"Huh?"

"Oh, didn't I like tell you? My friend Willow's gay."

Faith looks at her, surprised. Then she bursts out laughing.

"What?" Dawn asks, looking confused.

"No, Dawn, you didn't happen to mention that fact, " Faith shakes her head, chuckling. " Wow, that must be hard for her. Being gay in high school and all." Faith leans in. "So, what? Did she like tell you in secret or something?"

"Huh? Oh no, she's like totally cool about it. She's out… been out since her sophomore year. I mean, she like took a girl to her Junior Prom last year."

"Really? Wow, she must be pretty gutsy," Faith sounds impressed. "Can't be easy for her being gay and in high school."

"Oh yeah, Will is like the coolest person I know. I mean, she's right out there, you know? Says what she thinks, and lets the chips fall wherever! And most people? They like respect her for it." Dawn bobs her head. "Yeah, there're a few dorks that kinda give her a hard time, Jocks and Cheerleaders mostly, but in the all, she's got it covered."

"Jocks and cheerleaders, huh?" Faith nods. "Oh yeah, I know the type. Total dips. I pretty much kept my distance from that crowd when I was in high school. Total bad news, especially the Cheerleaders. God, what a group of bitches."

"Tell me about it," Dawn rolls her eyes heavenward, "I mean, the cheerleaders at my school? Bunch of stuck up snobs. Think they're totally better than anyone. I think they think they poop petunias,  
you know?"

Faith chuckles. She thought at first that 'babysitting' Dawn was going to be a drag . But she's finding she's beginning to really like this girl.

"Oh yeah, they're totally biotches. And they are led by the totally meanest biotch of all. Look it up in the word in the dictionary, and her picture is next to it. Man, I really can't stand her."

"She must be something if you don't like her."

"Huh?"

"I just mean, you seem to be a very friendly kind of girl. Not the kind to really hate anyone. She must be the wicked witch of the west or something if she gets you mad."

"Oh… thanks," Dawn smiles brightly, coloring a little in the cheeks. "Well, it's totally her fault. I mean, she targeted me day one. Totally rude to me and Buffy, making out like we were her peons or something. We got her back, but she's been really nasty ever since."

"Sounds pretty snarky to me. So, she still giving you trouble?"

"Well, not so much. It's weird. I mean, me and Buffy both gave her some grief that first day. But she like all of a sudden gets chummy-  
chummy with Buffy, and totally ignores me. I mean, go figure, right?"

"Sounds like a flake to me," Faith agrees. "So, does this airhead have a name? I'm betting something like Muffin or Suzy or some crap like that."

"Oh, even worse. Cordelia. Can you believe it? Cordelia Chase."

"Cordelia, huh?" Faith grows a little thoughtful.

"You know her?" Dawn looks surprised.

"Maybe," Faith says, "describe her."

"Oh, a little taller than you, maybe. Long dark hair, hips like a battleship, perpetual sneer on her face…"

That's her all right.

"Yeah, I think I know her. Sounds like the girl with Buffy at the party last night."

"You're kidding, right? Cordelia Chase was at the party last night."

"Pretty sure. Girl fitting your description was there, and Buffy was talking about a Cordelia … well, mumbling really… all the way home in the cab last night."

"Wow!" Dawn says, looking a little wide-eyed. Then her eyes narrow. "That girl's bad news. I don't trust her."

Faith looks at Dawn with renewed respect. Hmmm, I see I'm not the only one to pick that up.

"Really?" Faith asks.

"Yeah, I'm thinking if she were there, she had something to do with Buffy being there. She set her up, I'm thinking."

"Why do you think that?"

"I told you me and Buffy kind of gave her some grief the first day.  
Then all of a sudden, she's getting all chummy with Buffy, even inviting her to try out for the cheerleading team. And, I'm pretty sure, she got on. Then she happens to be at this party where Buffy gets all drunk and busted?" Dawn's lips tighten. "Yeah, she's up to something, I know it."

"I agree. She gave me some bs about her not know what was going on,  
but she really …I just figured she was lying. I just did." Faith nods her head. "If your sister thinks she's a friend, she better watch her back."

"We've tried to tell her that, but she won't listen. I mean, she so thinks she knows everything. She wants to be a cheerleader, and she figures Cordelia's her key. And she's blind to anything else.  
Period!"

"Well, she better listen to someone, cuz otherwise she's only gonna get a big crap sandwich outta the deal."

"She'd listen to you," Dawn says, looking at Faith.

"What?"

"She'd listen to you," Dawn repeats. "She likes you. Maybe you could talk to her…?"

"Whoa up, kid. I think you got it all wrong. I just like pulled her outta that party. I don't hardly know her…"

"Yeah, but I saw her this morning. She was like hanging on your every word…" Dawn bites her lip. "She won't listen to me, or mom, or Willow or Xander… maybe she'll listen to you…"

"Look, Dawn. I'm kinda like a stranger here. Not my place to be telling your sister what to do. And I really don't have a clue what I'd say or…"

"Couldn't you try? Please?"

"You really care about her, don't you?"

"She's a major pain in my butt. She's always ragging on me, giving me a ration," Dawn's frowning. "but yeah, I really do. Cuz I know when I really need her, she'll be there. And vice versa."

God, I would've loved to have a sis like you. Would've been so much easier when I was growing up, Faith thinks, looking at Dawn.

"Look, I'd have to talk to your mom about it. See what she thinks. I can't just be going around interfering. I can't promise anything,  
but… I'll try," Faith shrugs, feeling a little roped in.

"Thanks…" Dawn impulsively hugs the older woman. "Thanks."

"Yeah, well, don't get emotional about it, ok?" Faith gently pushes her away. She looks up to see the Number 5 bus pulling up. " 'Bout damn time." She starts towards the bus doors, and stops, turning around. "You coming?"

"I should get back home. I mean, you're going to pick up your bike,  
right? Probably head home after…"

"Well, actually, I was thinkin' on makin' a stop at the Colonel's after, maybe picking up a bucket of chicken and stuff. You know,  
like lunch? Bring it by your house. I'm figuring your mom's not gonna be too keen on making lunch or whatever after talking with Buffy…"

"You don't think it's going to go well?"

"Not really, no. Buffy seemed pretty…pissed off."

"That's like normal for her," Dawn smirks. "Can't remember last time she was anything but mad at everybody. So, we'll see you later then?"

"Don't you want to come with?"

"Hey, lady, you getting on or not?" The bus driver calls down from his seat.

"Gimme a sec, pal, ok?" She turns to Dawn." I thought maybe you'd like a ride on the bike…?"

"Really!" Dawn is suddenly all excitement. Then her face falls. "  
Mom wouldn't want me to. She thinks motorcycles are dangerous…"

"Does your mom gotta know?" Faith asks, eyebrow arched.

"Lady, I don't got all day! Hurry up!"

"Dawn?"

Dawn jumps up, and runs over " Ok, cool."

Faith chuckles, and they get on the bus.

6

"Whoa! That's… hot!"

Dawn stands staring at Faith's bike, parked behind the Alpha Mu house at UC Sunnydale.

The restored Harley Sportster is obviously Faith's pride and joy.  
Despite her references to it being a 'rust bucket', the gleaming chrome, unscratched paint and attention to detail attest to Faith's hours spent restoring the bike to its present glory.

Dawn turns to Faith, eyes wide in wonder. "That's yours?"

"That's my baby." Faith says, walking over to the bike.

Dawn walks over next to her, staring at the bike. She reaches out to touch the seat, then hesitates.

"Go ahead," Faith chuckles, "it won't bite you."

Dawn runs her hand over the smooth leather of the seat. It almost feels warm to her touch, as if the bike is a living, breathing thing.

"It's sooo cool!"

Faith just smiles as she walks over to one of the custom saddlebags mounted over the rear wheel. She rummages around in it, then pulls out a small helmet. She hands it to Dawn.

"Here, put this on."

Dawn slips on the helmet, bunching her hair together to let it stream out the back in a ponytail. Faith hands her something else.

"You hold onto this," She says, handing her Buffy's purse.

"Did they give you any problems getting it back?" Dawn slips the purse strap over her shoulder.

"Kinda. They were acting all macho. Figured they could bully me … I think they said little girl… couldn't tell them what to do. I kind of mentioned I was a friend of the family of the girl that they almost raped… and that I came instead of the mother… who wanted to shoot them… well, they kind of got the hint. Amazingly, they had it in my hands within five minutes." Faith grins, as she puts on her own helmet and jacket.

Dawn giggles when Faith crosses the bike, and as Faith mounts it,  
she gives her the thumbs up.

The bike roars to life, and Faith rolls it off the kick stand. She then steers it over to where Dawn is stand. "Hop on, Kid. Let's motor."

Dawn hops on behind Faith, circling her arms around her waist. She leans against Faith's back as Faith zooms away from the Frat house.

The ride was way too short as far as Dawn was concerned. She was falling into serious like with this girl. She was smart, funny, and she treated Dawn like an adult… even if she calls me kid… grrr… and she sooo let me ride on her bike… and I know Buffy didn't get that.  
Totally cool.

Still, after the left the Colonel's, and were heading home, Dawn tried to imprint every bit of the ride, and the whole day. She figured after lunch, Faith would split, and she'd never see her again.

So unfair. I get stuck with a bratty, self centered older sister.  
Why can't I have her as an older sister? She's beyond cool, she really listens to me, and doesn't make me feel like a dope half the time. I gotta think sometimes the gods hate me, sticking me with Buffy.

As Faith approaches the driveway to the house, she cuts the bike's engine, letting the momentum carry them the last few yards up into the driveway. She parks next to Joyce's SUV, and the two of them head towards the door.

"Thanks," Dawn says.

"Hey, no prob. Don't want to get in Dutch with your mom."

"No, I mean… for everything. For today. I really do feel better"  
Impulsively, she hugs Faith and kisses her lightly on the cheek. "Thanks a lot."

She runs up to the door, carrying the bucket of fried chicken parts,  
and Faith follows her in, half grinning.

I could really get used to this.

"Are you nuts? Are you trying to get your picture on the cover of Insane-o's Home Journal?"

Dawn and Buffy are at lunch, sitting outside in the 'loser' lunch area. Dawn has her sandwich in hand, but almost drops it in surprise.

"C'mon, Dawnie. Don't be a dope. Something's going on there!"

Buffy is talking to her sister like she's a mentally challenged three year old. God, how can she be so stupid and live?

"The only thing going on is that Faith needs a place to live," Dawn says, taking a bite of her sandwich, "And mom, feeling grateful for her pulling your butt out of the fire, offered her a room in the basement. Oh, and that we might need the money, now that mom and dad are getting divorced."

"Come on, you bought that load? What, you think dad's just going to like desert us cuz mom wants to divorce him? Are you really that stupid, Dawn," Buffy shakes her head in wonder. "It's dad, he's not going to like let us starve."

"Yeah, well, according to mom, he might need his money for his girlfriend…"

"Shut UP! You don't know anything about it, Dawn! That's probably mom just making it up, to make her look good."

"Oh god, Buffy, are you stupid, or what? What am I saying? Of course your stupid. God, it's almost classic. He's gone all the time, a lot of weekends he can't make it home because of 'work', you can hardly get him on the phone. What do you think he's doing, Buffy? Playing Parcheesi?"

"No, I actually believe dad, that he's working. He works hard…"

"Yeah, sure Buffy. Works hard, runs around on mom…"

"Shut your pie hole, squirt. You don't know crap about it."

"I know he hit mom!"

"She probably … she probably got him so mad he didn't know what he was doing!" Buffy gets defensive. "Anyway, this isn't about dad,  
it's about Faith!"

"Yeah, what's the deal with that, anyway? At breakfast you were like all moon eyes over her, and later boom! She's suddenly the evil bitch from hell. What's with the Sybil?"

"I had time to think about it, Squirt. I wasn't off chatting up some stranger like she's my new best friend. I mean, what's that about,  
anyway? Why would some adult want to hang out with a kid, anyway?"

"I'm not a KID, Buffy!" Dawn gets a little red faced, "I'm only 2 years younger than you. What does that make you?"

"Someone not stupid enough to get on a stranger's bike and maybe get killed."

"Yeah, that was real sweet, Buffy. Tellin' mom you saw me and Faith pulling up on her bike. God, she got so mad at the both of us.  
Happy?"

"Just lookin' out for ya, Squirt."

"Stop CALLING ME THAT!"

"Stop BEING A MORON! No, wait, you were born that way. Forgot!"

"Hey, hey, Summers' Women. What's the beef? You can be heard across the quad!"

Willow and Xander come up, standing between the dueling sisters.  
Xander, looking a little worried, pulls Dawn aside.

"Hey, cutie. Chill. You're all flushed and going nuclear. What's the deal?"

"The deal is…" Dawn pops around Xander, yelling at her sister, " My sister is a BIG STUPID JERK!"

"Sticks and Stones, Dawn. You're just pissed because you know I'm right."

"Buffy?" Willow looks worried. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Dawn is having a meltdown because I pointed out the obvious to her, and she doesn't like it…" Buffy leans around Willow. "She's just A BIG BRAT BABY!"

Willow and Xander look at each other, puzzled.

"Hey, hey!" Xander tries to restore some peace and end the ground war.

"You're just jealous because she thinks I'm cooler than you!" Dawn says from behind Xander.

"You're so full of it, Bratticus, " Buffy smirks, "And so wrong. She just took pity on you cuz you're a total whiny nothing. Wah, wah,  
wah! Someone new comes to the house, and Dawn's so got to be the center of attention. Loser!"

"I'm not the loser. Look at the skanks you hang with! God, if she hadn't been there to save your ass, you would've been toast!"

"That's a load. Yeah, I had a beer or two, but I knew what I was doing!"

"So, being surrounded by a bunch of guys ripping at your clothes,  
that was your idea?"

"Are you like hallucinating?" Buffy shakes her head, "that never happened! Did she tell you that happened? Cuz if she did, she's a liar!"

"Bullshit, Buffy. You were so out of it Saturday night, you don't remember squat. You were puking your guts out in the toilet. That doesn't come from having ' a beer or two'. You were totally out of it, and Faith probably saved your sorry life!" Dawn gets an ugly expression on her face. "She probably shouldn't have bothered. You probably would've liked it!"

Buffy pushes past Willow, and grabs Dawn by the arm. "What the hell are you saying, squirt? Are you calling me a slut?"

"Oh no, Buffy," Dawn's tone is sarcastic, "even a slut has standards. You'd probably boink anything…"

WHACK!

Buffy slaps her sister across the face, hard.

"ENOUGH!"

Willow grabs Buffy, and starts pushing her away from Dawn.

"Get her out of here, Xander," Willow says over her shoulder. "Get Dawn away from here!"

"Where?" Xander asks, trying to keep Dawn from rushing her sister. "She's pretty pissed off."

"Don't really care, Xander! Just get her gone!"

Xander, struggling with a red faced Dawn, manages to move her to another part of the quad.

Willow sits the flushed and angry down on a bench, and sits beside her.

"What the heck is going on between you two? I've never seen you …"

"Hey, nice move, Buffy!" A voice drifts from behind them.

Both girls look up to see Cordelia approaching. Willow gets a sour look on her face, while Buffy has a small grin.

"Hey, Cordelia," Buffy greets the approaching girl.

"Hey, Buffy. So, what's up? That was one mean slap you gave to your bratty sister."

"Yeah, well, she's a real pain in the butt," Buffy says,  
shrugging. "She's a tard, what do you expect."

"Gee, Buff. Trouble in Casa Summers?" Cordelia is all fake sympathy. "Of course, what can you expect. I mean, really?"

Buffy looks at her puzzled. "What?"

"Trash is trash, Buffy. You are what you wallow in."

"Cordelia?" Buffy sounds confused and a little hurt. "What's this about?"

"Oh please, don't give me the wounded princess junk." Cordelia's tone gets low and mean. "Nice move, calling the police, Buffy. Never mind the Alpha Mu house got popped for the party, I got to spend two hours at the police station until my dad came down to bail me out.  
He totally grounded me, you little jerk. Nice work."

"I… I didn't call the police…"

"You, that skanky friend of yours, one of you did. Doesn't matter.  
What matters is I had to go to the police station. " She leans in closer. "If you didn't like the party, fine. Go home, who cares? But don't get your friend to come in and bust up the place, and then call the cops after. You're a total waste of time, you know that"  
She sneers at her. "Well, guess you know you're so not on the team.  
We don't need your kind on the team, Buffy."

Buffy just sits there looking stricken.

Willow, on the other hand, looks angry. Her lips have tightened into a line, and her eyes have narrowed.

"All bets are off, Buffy. I thought you were cool, but I can see I was totally wrong. I don't like being wrong, Buffy. So, watch your back, loser, cuz I'm gonna…"

"Get out, Cordelia," Willow says in a soft voice.

"Shut up, Dyke-O Rosenberg. No one is talking to you."

Willow stands up, and suddenly is nose to nose with Cordelia. She's slightly taller than the brunette, and looks down on her.

"I said, get out of here, Cordelia," Willow's voice is still low,  
but there's steel beneath the velvet.

Something passes between the two girls, and Cordelia is the first to blink. She backs off a hair.

"God, who wants to be around a bunch of nothings like you, anyway"  
She turns, addressing Buffy. "Don't even think I've forgotten you,  
Slutty Summers. You're ass is mine, and I intend on collecting."

Cordelia leaves in a huff.

Willow goes over to Buffy, and sits next to her. She puts an arm around her.

"You ok, Buffy?"

"No, I'm really not ok," Buffy says, petulantly.

"Buffy, I've got to talk to you, about Cordelia. She's not your friend, Buffy. She'll never be your friend. She just wants to use you…"

"Why'd you do that?" Buffy says, ignoring her words.

"Buffy, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Cordelia …"

"I could've fixed it, if you hadn't interfered." She stands up,  
looking in the direction Cordelia left. "Maybe I can still fix it…"

"Buffy, stop! You've got to listen to me. Cordelia is bad news,  
she's just going to use you."

"So what?" Buffy turns on Willow," I'm not looking to be her bestest friend in the world. I want to be a cheerleader. I want my goddamn life back, like it was before. And I'd get it, if you and the rest of you would just let me alone." She starts to walk off, then turns back. " God, stop interfering in my life. All of you!"

She turns and stalks off in the direction Cordelia took.

God, what's wrong with her? Doesn't she listen to anyone?

A strange look comes over her face, and she as she watches Buffy go,  
a rueful smile comes to her lips. Her mind slips back to the events of a year ago.

Look who's talking. Did you listen?

"You're making a majorly bad mistake here, Will."

Xander is reclined on Willow's bed, flipping through the pages of the latest X-men comic. He seems relaxed and at home; not really strange when you realize that he and Willow have been friends since playgroup, and they've hung out in each other's rooms since forever.

"Shut up, Xander. You don't know anything!"

Willow walks into the room, and stands in front of the bed.

"So, how do I look?"

Xander puts down the comic book, and looks at Willow. His eyes go wide.

"Shpandoingel, Will! Like, totally wow!"

"You like?" Willow blushes prettily, turning around for him.

Willow is feeling very pretty, and very sexy. She's wearing a jade green blouse tied just below her breasts, revealing a very cute little tummy. Her hip huggers, a dark charcoal color, are so tight they look painted on her hips and legs. Two inch heeled boots, and a small gold locket complete her out of character look.

But she's gone beyond the outfit, and had her hair done. Cut shorter than normal, it's framed around her face perfectly. Her makeup,  
usually conservative, is a little wild tonight. Carmine red lips,  
eyeshadow and liner, she's gone whole hog tonight. She's even painted her nails to match her lipstick. It's obvious something special is going to happen tonight.

"Gee, who are you, and what have you done with Willow?" Xander teases her. "And oh, I was wondering if you might reconsider the whole gay thing? Cuz, I think I love you!"

"Xander, you're terrible!" Willow cries, but she's loving the attention, don't kid yourself. "So, you think I'd register on the hottie scale?"

"Register? You'd break the hottie scale, Will. You're totally inferno like."

"So," She says, turning to her mirror and checking herself out. "You think Cordelia will like?"

Xander sighs. God, all this, for that bitch?

"Willow, about Cordelia …," Xander starts, but Willow cuts him off.

"C'mon, Xan. This isn't going to be another "Cordelia is evil"  
speech, is it?"

"Willow, this is Cordelia. Cordelia Chase. You know, the one who you used to a charter member of the "We hate Cordelia" club… that Cordelia? The one that's treated us for years like we're something she stepped in and smells bad. She can't be trusted, Willow, and she's going to hurt you. I just know it."

"Xander, Xander, Xander," Willow turns to him. She's not mad; matter of fact, she smiling. "You're just so sweet." She comes over, and leaning over, gives him a kiss on the cheek. "And I'm not even mad you're checking out my boobs."

"I'm a guy, Will. That's what guys do. They check out the boobies of the women…" Xander makes a growly sound. "Stop it, this is serious!"

"Yeah, seriously like you're trying to play my older brother. You're only 3 months, 2 days , 12 hours and 22 minutes older than me,  
Xander Harris."

"Will, you're my bestest bud in the world. You know I'm in awe of your brains. I worship at the majesty of your incredible smartness.  
But right now, you're acting like a total airhead. This is Cordelia Chase, Will. She's evil!"

"ah HAH!" Willow teases. "I knew it was a Cordelia is evil speech!  
I'm not only smart, I'm psychic, too!"

"Willow, I'm serious. This is wrong on so many levels it's pathetic.  
You know what she's like. Don't you remember what she did to that girl that tried out for cheerleaders? She humiliated her in front of the whole squad! And that guy…"

"Xander, I'm serious too," Willow grows serious. "I've been tutoring Cordelia for months now. I've spent a lot of time with her, and I know her a lot better now. She's not really that way, Xander. She's just shy, and lonely. Her parents are gone a lot, Xander, leaving her on her own. Even when they're there, they hardly pay attention to her, except to criticize her. She just lashes out at others,  
because she's afraid to get hurt. She's really very sweet when you break through the shell. You'll see…"

"No, I won't see. I've seen Cordelia enough, especially in action.  
No one's as good at doing what she does, unless there's something behind it…" He takes Willow's hand. "I know you've like fallen for her…"

"I so have not!" Willow blushes, turning away. She's so busted.

"Will, this is Xander, best bud and supporter extraordinaire of everything Willow? You confessed to me about how you feel about her,  
remember?"

"Oh, that… geeze, you're not going to hold that against me, are you?" Willow shrugs and holds up her hands in mock surrender. "Ok,  
Ok, I confess, sheriff. Guilty as charged."

"Exactly. And I love that your in love… well, I would, if it were anyone but Cordelia. You blinded by your feelings, and don't see she's just using you…"

"For what, exactly, Xander? It's not like I'm miss popularity, or anything. What have I got that she would want…" Willow grins crookedly, "Ok, that came out wrong. I mean, what could she take from me?"

If you can't figure that out, Will, I can't tell you, Xander thinks,  
looking at her. "Will, she's going to … you've got to know she wants something. And when she gets it, she's going to dump you like a rotten cabbage."

"Oh, so I'm stinky Cole slaw now?" Willow looks at him, a little hurt and offended. "What, you don't think I'm good enough for the likes of Cordelia Chase? Is that it?"

"That's not what I think, Will, " Xander says, " I think you're worth 10 Cordelias. A hundred. You know that!" He gets up, putting his hands on her shoulders. "It's not about what I think, Will. It's what she thinks…"

"How do you know what she thinks?" Willow says, fiercely. She breaks away from Xander, grabbing her purse. "Forget it. I'm tired of listening to this. I love her, she loves me. You should be happy for me. Instead, all you do is give me grief about it. I don't get it"  
She suddenly has an insight. "you're jealous! That's it, you're so jealous! I found someone, and you haven't. And I'm spending more time with her, and less with you, and your totally hating it!"

"I'm not jealous!" Xander snaps. "Ok, maybe a little. But that's beside the point, Will. I'm afraid she's going to hurt you, do something so awful you'll be crushed. And I can't just stand by and not say anything. I'm sorry, but I can't"

"I so expected more out of you, Xander. I can't believe that you"  
She crosses her arms over her chest. "I think you better go,  
Alexander Lavelle Harris."

Xander swallows hard. He knows he's in trouble when Willow uses his full name.

"Will, please," he makes a last attempt. "Just think. Think of all the years we've known Cordelia … think, and don't do this…"

"I'm doing this, Mr. Harris, " Willow looks at her watch. "Oh shoot,  
I'm late. I gotta fly. Look, you can see yourself out, Xander. And,  
I really don't want to see you again until you apologize."

She rushes over, and grabs her purse. She looks at Xander as if she's never seen him before, then shaking her head, rushes out the door.

Xander watches her go, his heart sinking in his chest. He's afraid he's just lost his best friend, and it really, really hurts. Getting up, he looks in the mirror.

Smooth, Harris, really smooth. God, how could you be so stupid to…  
aw, forget it. She's right. You don't know, maybe this is good for her. She certainly deserves friends that support her.

Turning away, his shoulders slump. Sighing heavily, he walks out of the room, sighing heavily.

He flips off the lights as he goes.

Willow stands nervously at the front door of the Chase Mansion,  
waiting for the door to be answered.

God, do I look ok? I'm not too slutty looking, am I? Will she like what I'm wearing? Will she think I'm hot. Oh, this is bad, really,  
really bad!

Willow slips a compact out of her purse, and checks her look quickly.

This is her first 'official' date with Cordelia. Well, not official,  
because they aren't really together-together. Cordelia is funny about well, them being together in public. She's got this whole popularity rep to preserve, right? But it's the first time they've been together when it's not been one of Cordelia's tutoring lessons in her room.

Thing is, Cordelia wasn't the only one being taught stuff.

From the first, Willow realizes Cordelia was attracted to her. And she was attracted back. At first, neither admitted it, and it was all business. But then there was that day that well… somehow, they wound up kissing. And kissing, and then, some more kissing. Willow doesn't know exactly how it happened, but not a lot of tutoring of the math or history happened that day. More maybe, biology.

From there, things heated up between them, and as Willow learned more about Cordelia, the more she liked. And, the making out and petting? Not so bad, either. Things got hot and heavy in that bedroom of Cordelia's, and there was more than one time Willow was surprised the mirrors didn't get steamed up.

And when they made love that first time, on Cor's big bed, with the canopy, Willow knew she was lost. Totally lost. She was stone cold in love with the girl that not too long ago she referred to as the Wicked Bitch of Sunnydale. It was sweet, and tender, and hot, so hot…

Still, she'd been flabbergasted and pleased when Cordelia invited her to her party. She wasn't one of Cor's regulars, and this was like a major step up the relationship ladder. Willow was floored,  
utterly amazed that Cordelia would want her at one of her parties.

She really loves me. She wants to be seen with me. She wants us to be a couple. This kept playing over and over in her head, each time making her giddier and feeling like she was walking on air.

She took some of her savings, money she earned babysitting and with her tutoring, and went shopping. She wanted to look hot for Cordelia, make her proud to be with her. For the first time in her life, she had her hair styled professionally, she bought an expensive and sexy outfit, she bought new make up; she went all out.  
All for Cordelia.

Now she is here, waiting to be let in the party, checking herself nervously, wondering if she did the right thing.

What if she doesn't like it? What if she liked my usual look? What if she tells me to leave? Oh god, I'd die, I'd just DIE!

"Hey, Willow… whoa!"

Cordelia is at the door, drinking in the 'new and improved' Willow.  
And she has to say, she approves. She totally approves.

"Will, you look… hot," Cordelia whispers, scanning her up and down. "totally awesome."

"You like it?" Willow beams, loving the way Cordelia's eyes are caressing over her body.

Not that Cordelia is bow wow material herself. Wearing a white linen pantsuit, sandals and a bracelet of pearls on her arm probably worth more than Willow's parents make in a year, she is simple and elegant at the same time. Her hair flows free down her shoulders, like the dark waves of the ocean on a moonlit night.

She steps out onto the porch, and closing the door behind her, pins Willow to the wall.

Her lips press urgently, hungrily on Willows, her body holding the taller girl in place. Her hand wanders over Willow's back down to her cotton encased ass, gently squeezing and rubbing. Willow sighs happily into Cordelia's mouth, her own hands wandering freely over her back.

"Your are so hot," Cordelia pants in Willow's ear. "I want you so badly right now…" She kisses her again, her tongue fiercely demanding and receiving entrance into Willow's mouth.

Willow's heart is beating thunderously in her breast, and her body is awash in fiery tingles. Her brain is fogging faster than the windows of car parked at Make-out point. She knows they should stop; they have to stop. Tearing off their clothes here on the front porch and humping naked like rabid bunnies would be so wrong in so many ways. Yet, she's almost helpless against the savage attack of Cordelia's tongue in her mouth, the restless, searching hands and her own feverish body.

"Cor…baby… maybe we should go inside … to cool off," Willow croaks,  
her breath taken away by the kiss. She feels entirely flushed in heated blood, and the steamy dampness between her legs is at once exciting and embarrassing. Oh god, what if she like smells me?

At first, Cordelia doesn't seem to hear her, her restless, hungry mouth still working on her own. But she finally pulls away, her own cheeks flushed, her eyes full of lusty desire.

"Yeah, maybe we should. Anyway, I want to show you off, " Cordelia says huskily.

She slips her hand down, lacing her fingers in Willow's. Opening the door, she enters the party, pulling Willow behind.

Inside the party, Willow is caught in a fast motion whirl of color and scents and sounds.

Trailing after Cordelia, who holds her hand tightly in her own,  
she's exposed to a world she's never really known before.

Willow's been to parties before. Birthday parties, parties her parents threw, get togethers with her buds, but nothing like this party.

Cordelia drags her from group to group, being the hostess, it's her duty and her calling. She stops and chats with each, and Willow hangs back a bit, a little overwhelmed by it all. The people's faces and voices seem to blur into each other, and she can't really recognize anyone she might know.

Suddenly a glass appears in her hand.

"What?" Willow looks a little doubtfully at the drink in her hand.  
It's kind of orangey reddish ,with a slice of strawberry floating on top.

"It's ok, baby," Cordelia smiles, "It's good. It's called a "Redhead in bed". Thought you might like it. Know I do," Cordelia rubs her hand on Willow's back.

Willow blushes pink. "I don't… really drink much." Er, that's none at all!

"Aw, c'mon," Cordelia pouts a little. Her hand starts creeping down lower on Willow's back. "It's sweet, like you. Just taste it"  
Cordelia leans over and dips her tongue into the drink. "It's really good." Her hand lands on Willow's butt, which she begins to caress.

"Uhhh… ok, I am a little thirsty," She says, taking a tiny sip out of the drink. She smiles, then takes a larger drink. "That's good"  
She gushes.

"Of course it's good," Cordelia leans in closer. "redheads in bed are dynamite." She squeezes Willow's butt cheek, causing her to nearly drop the drink. She giggles, and takes another swallow.

After that, the party becomes one giant whirl of activity for Willow. She follows after Cordelia, who can't seem to keep still.  
She moves from group to group; sometimes they dance together,  
bumping and touching and giggling; sometimes they sit for a bit, but that's never for long, because then Cordelia is up and moving again.  
And of course, she never lets go of Willow's hand.

Each time her glass empties, it seems to be magically refilled, and soon the alcohol has its effect. Willow becomes both very giggly and very talkative, talking about nothing at great length to the fascination of the guests she encounters. They're also well on their way to being smashed.

Everything becomes bright and shiny, and Willow is fascinated by the music, which seems to have it's own personal rainbow of colors attached to it. As the night wears on, and the drinks get drunk, she becomes very amorous, touching, caressing and pinching Cordelia as often as she'll let her.

"My, my aren't you the frisky little kitty tonight?" Cordelia grins,  
playfully slapping at Willow's hand. She manages to keep Willow at bay while keeping her interest on overdrive.

"Mmmm… when it comes to you, I'm feeling frisky all the time"  
Willow giggles, taking another drink. "I feel sooo good." She stumbles slightly, bumping into Cordelia. "Oooopsy."

"Hmmm… I have something that'll make you feel fantastic," Cordelia whispers. She opens her purse, and pulls out a little vial. Opening it, she dumps a small white tablet with a little 'x' engraved on the dome. She hands it to Willow. "Take this, lover."

Willow looks at the tablet in her hand, and her brow furrows. "I… I dunno, Cor… I don't… drugs and me don't…"

"Oh poo, don't be a stick, Will," Cordelia rubs her back. "It's just a happy pill. Make you really happy."

Willow hesitates.

"Hey, I'll take one too, ok?" She puts another pill on her palm. "On the count of three, Ok?" She looks at Willow. "Ok?"

"Ok."

"One…two… three." She pops her hand up to her face, seeming to take the pill. Willow follows suit. She doesn't see Cordelia palm the pill and slip it back into the vial.

It doesn't take long for the pill to take effect, and mixed with the alcohol, it's effects are intensified.

Where everything was bright and shiny before, now everything is new and exciting and wonderful. Willow looks around in awe, her heart swelling in her chest. She has a strong urge to go around just hugging anyone and everyone. It's all so good. All so sweet. God,  
everyone is just… so… mmmm…

She feels a set of arms encircle her waist, and a familiar and loved pair of lips suck in on her earlobe, nibbling it. She melts back into Cordelia's arms.

"Having a good time, baby?" Cordelia whispers, her hands rubbing over Willow's bare tummy.

"MMmm… wonnerful" Willow sighs, feeling warm and soft and so alive.

"I'm glad, baby. But this party is starting to drag. Let's go upstairs."

"Upstairs?" Willow turns towards Cordelia, her eyes lidded. "Whaz upstairs?"

"Oh, another party. A private party, just for good friends. Some friends I want you to meet."

"Ohhh… cool," Willow smiles, leaning back into Cordelia. "Now?"

"Mmmm-hmmm sexy, right now," Cordelia purrs.

" 'K " Willow murmurs, feeling as if she's floating off the floor.

Cordelia gently disengages from her, and comes around, hooking an arm through Willow's. She moves towards the staircase, leading the compliantly stoned girl along with.

"Where we goin' 'gain?" Willow mumbles, when they reach the stairs.

"Upstairs, baby," Cordelia coos, pulling her along.

After some tricky maneuvering, Cordelia manages to get the inebriated girl upstairs. They walk down the hallway towards the end, stopping at the door.

"This it?" Willow looks at Cordelia, her eyes a bit out of focus.

"Oh yeah," Cordelia slips an arm around her waist. She kisses Willow softly. "You're gonna love it."

She opens the door, and a sweet odor assaults them.

"Is that pot?" Willow asks, turning to Cordelia.

"Uh huh… you don't mind, do you?"

"Oh no. s'cool." Willow murmurs. She looks around. "Kinda dim in here…"

"Yeah…" Cordelia says. She leads Willow inside, shutting the door after.

Everything after entering that room is pretty fuzzy to Willow.

She remembers sitting down, and after awhile making out with Cordelia. Then there were too many hands. When she protested,  
Cordelia just told her to relax, it's all good.

But it wasn't. She remembers some pain, and at one point, feeling something warm and hard being put in her mouth. And something hard being forced up her rear. It hurt, really hurt badly. After that,  
she doesn't remember anything at all.

She remembers waking up sometime later, shivering. Shivering, and feeling like she'd been run over a few dozen times by a garbage truck. She sat up, and it felt like a sledgehammer started hammering in her head. She sunk back down on the couch.

"I'll just lay right here for awhile," She murmurs, drifting off again.

She woke up again, later, to being shaken.

"Huh…wha?" She mutters, feeling rotten. She sits up, feeling lost and dizzy. But at least the hammer stopped pounding on her. "What's going on?"

"C'mon, Willow, you have to go home now. Party's over" Cordelia is standing over her.

"Cor? What happened? Where is everyone?"

"They went home, girl. Like you should. You've been sleeping for hours."

It's then that Willow realizes something. She's naked.

"Where… where're my clothes?"

"I dunno… they're scattered around here somewhere. You lost 'em pretty fast. Gotta say, you were one sexy little slut tonight."

"What?" Willow feels cold ice starting to grow in her stomach. "I don't get it."

"Oh, c'mon little miss innocent," Cordelia starts looking for Willow's clothes. "You were on fire."

"Huh?" Willow finds her top, and pulls it on.

"Here are you jeans, " Cordelia points at a spot across the room.  
Willow stumbles over and picks them up.

"What're you talking about?" Willow is still in a haze. Her head feels to big, and her body feels bruised and achy.

"Oh stop, would you? I've never seen such a natural. God, at one point you had three cocks in you, one in each opening…"

"WHAT?" Willow feels like she's been hit by ice water.

"You were riding one guy, sucking off another and you called out "More, I need more!" So, another guy came up behind you and well, filled your rear hole too."

Willow stands there, jeans half pulled up, in shock.

"What… what did you do to me?" She whispers, not believing this is happening.

"To you?" Cordelia laughs. "No one could do anything to you. You were all over everybody. I've never seen anyone want it so badly.  
Half the basketball team wants your phone number, and most of my cheerleading squad is in love with you."

"You… you drugged me!" Willow's voice starts to rise.

"What're you talking about?"

"That… pill, the one you gave me… what was it?"

"I didn't give you any pill," Cordelia says. "Where'd you get that idea."

"You… you bitch you drugged me, then … you raped me…"

"Hey, no one 'raped' you, sweet pea," Cordelia's tone turns harsh. "No one forced you. It was all you, baby."

"I was drunk and you drugged me!" Willow screams at her. "You fucking bitch, you did this to me! You and your friends raped me!"

"Oh give me a break. You were having a blast. I could tell. C'mon,  
you loved it. You loved not being the goody two shoes for once. You loved being the slut."

"YOU … BITCH!" Willow charges at her, stumbles and falls on her knees. "You… bitch." She sits there, feeling helpless. She starts to cry.

"Hey, hey…" Cordelia comes over, and kneels beside her. "Hey, don't cry. Look, think of it like an initiation, baby." She puts an arm around Willow's shoulder. "You're part of the gang now. You're one of us."

Willow looks at her, and then rears back and slaps her hard.  
Cordelia doesn't move, shocked.

"YOU… I Hate you! HATE YOU!" She spits on Cordelia. "I'm so gonna get you for … I'm going to the police, you bitch, and I'm gonna have your ass in jail!" She pushes Cordelia, and stands up, walking unsteadily towards the door. "That's rape, and you're gonna…"

"What?" Cordelia, recovering, stands up. She walks over to a side table, and picks up some pictures. "I'm gonna what? Maybe before you go running off squealing, you might wanna look at these."

She marches over, and shoves the pictures at Willow.

Willow looks at the pictures, and feels sick. They're all of her, in various positions, doing things she never even dreamed about in her worst nightmares. Worse, they look like she was enjoying what was happening. She feels her stomach wanting to hurl. She lets the pictures drop out of her hand.

"Go ahead, Willow. Go call the police. I'll show 'em these. They'll be really interested in them, I'm sure. Then I'll make sure they get around town, and on the Internet. By the time I'm done, the world will know what kind of whore you are!"

"You… drugged me… you…"

"Really? I don't remember giving you any drugs," Cordelia says, "And I'm sure any drugs YOU TOOK are out of your system by now. You can't prove anything, Willow. But I can…" She looks at the pictures.

Willow dives and retrieves the pictures, paying the price when she nearly crashes head first into the floor.

"Go ahead," Cordelia says, sneering at her now. "Plenty more where those came from. Digital cameras. Gotta love 'em"

Willow looks up from the floor, her face a study in hurt and betrayal.

"Why? Why'd you do it to me?"

Cordelia doesn't seem to understand for a moment. She moves towards Willow, but Willow backs away. She stops.

"It wasn't done to you. It's an initiation. Everyone's done it. I wanted you to be part of it…"

Willow just looks at her, mouth open.

"You… you're sick. God, you're so sick you don't even know… god…"

She gets up, finding strength in that place reserved for emergencies. She runs out of the room, stumbling but not stopping.  
She runs down the hall, down the stairs, and doesn't stop running until she reaches the curb, far away from the main house. She sits down, and leans over, vomiting into the street.

Finishing for the moment, but never feeling she'll get the sickness out of her system, she sits there, alone. She can't go home right now. She's too sick, to hurt, to want to face that.

Huddling, her ass cold from the curb, shivering not from cold but revulsion, she sits there and cries, her heart breaking.

How could she think I'd want to be part of that? How could she do that to me? How … sick is she? Oh god, I'm a moron. I'm a… oh god…

She vomits again, then staggers to her feet. She can't stay here;  
not so close to her humiliation. She has to go, move away, get away.  
Anywhere would be better than here.

Hurting, both physically and emotionally, she moves slowly down the street.

Willow, sitting on the bench at school, shudders.

Even thinking of that now, I get sick, she thinks as her stomach starts turning over. Sicker when I know I should've gone to the police. She and her cronies raped me. RAPED ME!

She gets up, a resolved look on her face. I won't let her do it to Buffy. I gotta stop her… somehow, I gotta do it. Fix this. I won't let her screw anyone else up. I can't…

How could I sleep at night, knowing what she could do?

How could I live with myself?

She walks towards the school, determined to find Cordelia.

TBC.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Change of Seasons, Part 13

1

"Ms. McKerrigan. If I can see you for a moment."

Faith is walking down the aisle to the front of class when her professor stops her.

"Professor Hooper?"

"I have a message here from Dean Landis. She wishes to see you in her office."

"Thank you, sir," She says, and makes her way to the hallway.

Faith wonders what this could be about. _Maybe they didn't get my transcripts? I know the check I wrote them was good. Whatever it is, it can't be good. I'm thinking they don't call you into the 'office' to congratulate you on your first day._

Faith makes her way across campus, towards the Administration building. She is still puzzling over what this could be about when she reaches Dean Landis' office.

" Can I help you?" The woman behind the desk asks Faith as she walks up.

"My name's Faith McKerrigan. I'm here to see Dean Landis."

"Ah, yes. Ms. McKerrigan. If you could wait a moment, please?"

The P.A. picks up the phone, and talks into it for a few moments while Faith waits.

"Ms. McKerrigan? Dean Landis will be with you in a few minutes. If you'll have a seat?"

"Thanks," Faith says, turning and taking a chair. She stares at the paintings, trying to figure what this might be about. A thought occurs to her.

_This couldn't be about Saturday night, could it? But why would they want me? I didn't do anything. No, it's got to be something else._

"Ms. McKerrigan? Dean Landis is ready for you now."

"Thanks," Faith says, passing the desk towards the door behind it. She opens it and steps inside the office.

It looks like the typical academic office. The walls are covered by an Oak paneling; the floor with a plush rug of indefinable color. One wall is taken up floor to ceiling by a bookshelf, crammed with various volumes and texts. The opposite wall has a glass cabinet with various mementos on display. The walls covered with pictures and various degrees and awards.

The dean herself is ensconced behind a large mahogany desk, highly polished and antique; obviously very valuable. On the desk is the usual office equipment, and the dean herself at the moment appears to be reading from a file. Facing the desks are two large overstuffed chairs; the dean obviously prefers her visitors to be relaxed.

Dean Joan Landis looks up, and smiles. She waves at the chairs in front of the desk.

" Ms. McKerrigan, I'm so glad you could make time to see me," Dean Landis watches as the young woman in front of her nervously makes her way to the chair and sits. "So, how are things? Are you finding your way around the school all right?"

"Yeah, I mean, everyone's been very helpful and all," Faith, perched on the edge of one of the chairs, licks her lips nervously. _Ok, why the chit chat? I know this isn't a tea social or nothing. _"Umm… Dean Landis, why did you want to see me exactly?"

"Yes, right to business. That might be best," Dean Landis nods, glancing at the file. "Well, Ms. McKerrigan, I have a report here from Campus Security about an incident that happened last Saturday evening? At the Alpha Mu Fraternity house?"

_Damn, it _is _about that!_ " Yes, Dean Landis. I was working there as a bartender…"

"For the University Pub?"

"Yeah, that's it. My boss, Mike, he often takes jobs from the local Fraternities, to bartend at their parties. He sent me along with a portable bar and ummm… well, alcohol previously purchased by the House."

"So, you were essentially there in a service capacity?"

"Yes, ma'am, that's so."

"Might that not be a problem, though, Ms. McKerrigan? I mean, isn't there the possibility of serving minors alcohol?"

"Uh, no ma'am. I required I.D for service. I carded everyone that came to the bar."

"I see." She looks at the report. "I see however there were kegs of beer on hand?"

"Yes, ma'am. Again, paid for by the Fraternity. I used some at the bar."

"But according to this, there was another party going on upstairs, with kegs of beer present."

"Yes, ma'am, though I didn't really know about that until after I started my shift downstairs."

"But didn't you, as part of your service, take some Kegs upstairs? For the other party?"

"Just one ma'am. I was really too busy downstairs to really do much except man the bar."

"But you did take a keg upstairs? And set it up and set a tap to it?"

"Yes, ma'am. Not really by choice. One of the Frat guys came down and made a stink about it while I was on break. Kinda threatened to call my boss and make trouble for me. So, I hauled it upstairs for him. And set it up."

"I see. Where anyone, even a minor could access it?"

"Yes, ma'am," Faith says in a soft voice.

Dean Landis nods her head, looking at the report.

"Am I in trouble here, ma'am?"

"Well, actually this isn't part of the charges being brought against you. Still, there is a policy on campus, as well as a state law, about serving minors alcohol."

"Yes, I get it. But you see, ma'am, I really didn't know exactly who was up there, I assumed it was for like seniors … those legally able to drink? I…"

"Really, that's not important. You just might want to think about that next time before you assist in such a venture. No charges are being brought because of it."

"Yes, ma'am I will, " Faith stands up. "Is that all, ma'am? Am I free to go now?"

"Please sit, Ms. McKerrigan. We're not finished yet."

Faith sits, still perched on the edge of the seat. _God, now what?_

"Ms. McKerrigan… is it all right if I call you Faith?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Faith, there are other charges being brought against you by the members of the Alpha Mu Fraternity. I brought you here to get your side of the story."

"Charges?" Faith looks surprised, "I don't get it. I'm being charged with something?"

"Yes. The members are charging you with assault, and destruction of property. According to their statements, you just 'went wild' on them, busted in on a private gathering, and started attacking them. They said in the ensuing melee that you busted up some furniture and valuable items."

"That's a load of crap!" Faith bursts out.

"Ms. McKerrigan. Faith! That will be quite enough."

"I'm sorry, Dean Landis, but it's true. That's a lie, end to end."

"Would you like to tell me your side of the story?"

"Look, like you said, I was setting up a keg upstairs at the little private party they had going. I'd just finished, and was out in the hall when I heard some screams from the room next to the one I'd just been in. Ok, maybe I was interfering, but I heard stuff like "No, no, please don't" and the like, and I couldn't just ignore it, you know? So, I got out my cell, and I called the police, cuz I didn't know exactly what was going on. I thought maybe I'd just leave it at that, but I heard more screams, and I figured it be too late by the times the police showed up, so I went to the room, and well, I kind of busted in. "

"I saw this girl, surrounded by a bunch of guys. They had her in a circle, and were pulling on her and pushing her, and kinda ripping at her clothes. She didn't look like she was wanting this, so yeah I kinda used whatever was happy and waded in. I mean these were big guys… I needed a little something to make it even, you know? Anyway, I kinda hit a few of them, and then got the girl outta there. Frankly, Dean Landis, if I left her there, I think they woulda…" she looks uncomfortable saying it. "Well…you know, raped her. I don't think she was wanting what they were doing to her."

Dean Landis has sat back in her chair, a tired look on her face. Her lips are pressed tightly together. She opens her eyes, and lets out a sigh, sitting forward.

"I'm inclined to believe you, Faith. Alpha Mu has quite the reputation here on campus, and they've been involved in a scandal or two. They've been a big … thorn in my side for years." She grins tightly. "I suspect these charges they brought are a diversionary tactic, as they're already on probation, and this incident could lose them their charter here on campus."

"You believe me? Great, cuz I really…"

"I believe you, but frankly it's not up to me. These charges have brought about a formal investigation. You will be brought before a disciplinary committee to answer these complaints. I don't suppose you have any witnesses?"

Faith feels her heart sink. "Not really, no."

"What about the girl. Would she testify for you?"

"I dunno. I mean, I'm pretty sure she would, but like, I really don't know her, and didn't see her after , you know? She kinda disappeared."

"Ah, that's too bad. It would've been helpful if you could get her to testify for you. Anything to bolster your case would be helpful, " She pauses. "You will receive a formal notice in the mail to appear before the committee, and I can't stress to you enough how important it is you show up. IF you don't, then by default, judgment will go against you. I would be left with no choice but to ask you to leave the University."

Faith sits there, feeling stunned. _What's going on here? It's like I'm the bad guy here. I can't believe this._

Faith stands, still not believing what's happening. "Are we done here? Can I go?"

Dean Landis nods. "You'll receive notification of a date for your appearance within a week. Please be prompt."

Faith turns, and walks to the door. She stops as she's opening it, and turns halfway back.

"You know something? If those creeps get away with this, they're gonna do it again. I hope you can live with that."

Turning, she walks out before Dean Landis can reply. She sits back in her chair, and puts her hands to her head. This day hasn't been good at all, and she can feel a really bad headache coming on.

_I wonder. Can I? _

She wonders sometimes if she hasn't made the wrong career choice. Like now, when someone who actually was doing something good is could be punished for it.

_What's that old saying? No good deed goes unpunished. _

Shaking her head, she walks over to pour herself a glass of water.

2

"I can do better."

Harmony Kendall looks in the little mirror in her gym locker, fluffing her hair and adjusting her makeup. Normally, since they were going to Orientation for Cheerleader practice, she wouldn't be that concerned. But she wanted to look especially nice for Cordelia. _Maybe this year she'll make me her assistant. Not like I haven't been on the squad since way back in freshman year. And I so would like to be her assistant this year. I swear, I could so do it better than any of those other losers she's picked._

There was a little more to Harmony's attention to detail, however. She had competition for Cordelia's attention, and she really, really didn't like it. Not one bit.

_I mean, what's so special about _that _girl, anyway? God, even her name is a joke. Whoever heard of anyone named _Buffy _? Sounds like something you'd read in a teen romance novel or something. And it's not like she's been with Cordy forever, like I have. Both in Junior and Senior High, I've been at her side, doing whatever she asked of me. And now she's getting all crazy over some blonde that obviously came out of a bottle. Not like she's anything special, anyway. I mean, her nose? Way too big. And god, does she even HAVE hips? She looks like a boy from the rear. And what's with the whole 'tude thing, anyway? At tryouts, she treated me like I was nothing. Well, I'll tell you, Ms. Barbie doll, you better watch your butt. Good thing Cordelia decided to cut you, cuz I would've made sure you looked BAD._

_And what's with Cordelia today anyway? She's been so moody. One minute she's sweet as honey, next she's like drinking bile and vinegar. God, it can't be she's mooning over that Buffy chick. Could it? No way. I just wish I could figure it out, make her feel better. She's so nice when she's happy… but when she's unhappy, I know I'm gonna pay for it. God… I hate it when she gets this way…_

Harmony turns around, and looks in the full length mirror behind her. She turns this way and that, looking at the way the Cheerleader uniform fits her body. _Hmmm… not bad… not bad… gee, does this skirt make me look hippy, or what? Hate that._

She turns around, ready to close her locker. A smile breaks out on her face. It's not a pleasant smile.

_Well, well. What's she doing here? This might be fun._

Slamming her locker, she heads towards the locker room entrance.

Willow stands at the entrance to the locker room, feeling more than a little lost. _Intimidated, yeah, that works, intimidated. _The odor of perspiration, soap, a mixture of perfumes, pine sol and some other indefinable, and not all pleasant, scents assault her nose.

Suddenly her resolve seems to waver as she stands at the threshold of what has to be Cordelia's domain. _One of her domains. God, it's like she owns everywhere._ A slight case of the butterflies, the ones with the razor sharp wings, is doing a tango in her tummy. _Maybe I can do this later. On neutral ground. Somewhere where the pom-poms don't live._

_Stop it, Will. Buffy's your friend. You know what Cordelia's capable of. She's gonna mess her up like she messed you up. You want that? Can you live with that?_

_Uh, no. But why now? I mean, couldn't I do this later, you know? Someplace where Cordelia isn't like in her power base? I'm really not about the confrontation, you know. Maybe I could write her a note?_

"Well, look who's here. What's wrong, Willow? Did you lose your way to the Gay pride parade?"

Willow looks around sharply, and seeing Harmony Kendall leaning against a set of lockers. Her confidence suddenly surges. _Is this the best she's got to send against me?_

"Hey Harmony. Been binging on the Twinkies again? You're looking a little hippy in your uniform."

"Huh?" Harmony, thrown, looks at herself. "Hey, knock it off. Just because I'm not a stick figure like you, Willow. Love the outfit, by the way. Been shopping in the boy's department at Sears again?"

"Funny," Willow crosses her arms. "Think that up yourself? Or did you have help?"

"Look, why're you here, anyway? I mean, tryouts are over… not that you'd have a chance of making it on the team, Spazmoid."

"Really don't have time for Cordelia's pet pit bull, Harm. Where's your owner?"

"HEY! No one owns me! I'm my own girl, you know, " Harmony protests. "Anyway, she's busy. She's got important things to do. More important than seeing you."

"Be a good puppy and show me where Cordelia is. Maybe I'll give you a Twinkie…"

"Shut up, Weirdo. Go hang out with the Rainbow girls. We don't need your kind around here…"

"My kind?" Willow walks over to Harmony, and leans in. "What kind would that be, Harm?"

" Get away from me, you freak!" Harmony backs away. "What're you trying to do, kiss me?"

"Please, do I want lip rot? I think not." Willow grins. "What's wrong, Harm. Think it's catching?" Willow puts up her hands, shaking them. "Woooo Harmony, you might get gay cooties. Better run!"

"Go away, freak. Get outta here!"

"Harmony, what's going on? Who're you …." Cordelia appears around the locker, sees Willow, and stops. " Oh. It's you." She frowns. "What do you want?"

"To talk. But your guard dog here won't let me through."

"Harmony, go away."

"But…" Harmony looks at Cordelia, confused.

"I got it Harm. Go … practice or something."

"But…"

"Harm? GO!"

Harmony throw Willow a last, drop dead look, and turns to go.

"Hey, Harm!" Willow calls out.

"What, freak?"

"You know what they say about Homophobes, don't you?"

Harmony stares at her, but a deep red flush hits her cheeks. She makes an offended noise, turns and flounces out of the locker room.

" She's so easy…" Willow murmurs, watching her go.

"So, what do you want?" Cordelia says, her tone a little frosty. "Somehow I don't think you came by to chat."

Willow stares at Cordelia. Despite how angry she feels, she can't help noticing how beautiful Cordelia is. The way her brunette hair flows over her shoulder in soft waves, highlighted by the sunlight streaming in through the locker room windows. Her dark brown eyes, sparkling brightly with a mixture of amusement and a deeply buried passion. The curve of her lips, soft and moist and sooo kissable… _oh, stop it! Stop drooling, Will! My god, you're angry with her! It's just so not fair! How could anyone so EVIL be so damned beautiful!_

Willow pushes all that way down deep, remembering why she's here.

"Want? I'm guessing I want pretty much what everyone else _wants,_ Cordelia. Happy life, successful career; someone I can really love that doesn't make me feel like crap." Willow's lips tighten just a little. "Being here has nothing to do about _want_."

"Why're you here?" Cordelia says tightly, the tension growing, "Don't you have somewhere else to be? What's wrong, Rosenberg? Did they fix the planet to your liking, and now you got nothing to do but come bug me?"

"Believe me, I'd rather be _anywhere_ but here, but I'm not gonna let you do it again, Chase," Willow's voice begins to rise, "not gonna let you screw someone like you screwed me …"

"Are you like taking drugs, Willow? Don't got a clue what you're babbling about."

"I think you do…"

"I really don't…"

"So you weren't going to get Buffy raped like you had me raped…"

Cordelia looks around quickly, then grabs Willow and drags her down a row of lockers. "Would you shut up! I never had you …"

"Oh please, what fantasy land are you living at? Cuz, I know what happened. I was there, Cordelia."

"It was a game, sure a little rough, but too bad you wimped out. It was an initiation… you wanted to be part of the group." Cordelia narrows her eyes. "So does Buffy. What gives you the right to interfere?"

"She's my friend. Not gonna stand by and let you hurt her. Not going to happen…"

"She's a big girl. She can decide this stuff for herself. Butt out, Willow."

"Decide? That's bogus. You drugged her... "

"What the … I never drugged anyone…" Cordelia shakes her head. "You're hallucinating, Rosenberg."

"Yeah," Willow says, lip slightly curled, "Like when you did it to me."

Cordelia frowns. She looks at Willow, stares straight into her eyes. Inside she feels as if something is twisting her stomach in knots. Her strongest desire right now is to run and hide.

Instead, she fires back." So what is it, Will? I mean, really. You got a little thing for the blonde? Want to get in her pants?"

"God, you're a sick puppy," Willow shakes her head, feeling disgusted. "You just don't get it, do you? Someone can care about someone without wanting something back."

"Gimme a break, Will. Nothing's free in this life. Buffy wants to be in the ' group'. There's a price… there's always a price." She leans into Willow, a smirk on her face. "Don't even tell me you don't want anything for 'saving' her from me."

"Who are you?" Willow steps back, revulsion plain in her face. "When did you become so cynical?"

"You don't know me," Cordelia shakes her head, "You don't know crap about me, Will. What it takes to be me. It's not easy, it isn't handed to you. You work, you fight to hold on to what you have. Think everyone wouldn't just love to see me fall on my face. But it's not gonna happen. Never. You don't have a clue what I gotta do to stay on top."

"I hope it's worth it, Cor," Willow says, her voice soft. "Cuz you're always gonna be alone. Anyone who tries to get close to you, you shove away. I'd hate to be you."

"I don't need your pity," Cordelia sneers. "You're the loser here Will, Not me."

"Yeah, well. If you wanted to hurt me and humiliate me? You did a great job. You wanted to make me feel disgust for you, again, you succeeded. If it made you feel strong making me feel crappy… good for you. It worked. But you didn't crush me like you wanted to , Cordelia. I survived. I'm stronger now, a lot stronger. You can't hurt me anymore, and I'm not gonna let you hurt Buffy, either."

"I didn't want to hurt you." Cordelia almost whispers, finding her throat dry.

"What? Please, you thought I'd like what you did to me? Are you insane? How could I like feeling like that? Dirty, cheap, a whore. A whore you pimped to your friends."

"It wasn't like that," Cordelia says, "I wanted to make you part of my crowd. So we could be together. I couldn't just start hanging out with a geek. But you wouldn't get that, understand that. So I had to…"

"Drug me. Like you did Buffy?" Willow shakes her head. "You don't really think I buy that, do you? You did it for me?"

"For me. I wanted… needed you to be part of my world. I needed you with me. I wanted you to be popular like I was, so we could be together… don't you see that? I knew you wouldn't do it on your own, so I had to…"

It hits Willow like a ton of bricks. Why Cordelia had done it. It didn't make her any less sick. It didn't make it better. But she got it now.

" I loved you," Willow says, almost as if talking to a stranger. "I would've done anything for you. And you hurt me. Made me feel so small. Don't you get that? At least… I know you didn't do it to hurt me. That doesn't make it right, or better. That can't be fixed. But at least now I know why you did it. I never…" Willow shakes her head, getting up.

"I'm sorry, Will. I didn't know…"

"You should've. You really should've." Willow leans against a set of lockers, closing her eyes. "God, I thought I knew you. We spent so much time together, talking. I thought I saw this wonderful girl, so alone, but with a good heart. Someone who had to hide it because her parents always hurt her, neglected her. Who had to be hard, so she could just not show how much she hurt. I thought…" She opens her eyes, looking at Cordelia. "Why couldn't you have been her? Trusted me? Loved me enough not to care about what other people thought? Why?"

"I thought you wouldn't love me. If I wasn't who I was, I thought you'd turn your back on me." Cordelia hugs herself, as if cold. "I couldn't deal with that." She looks at Willow, wide eyed. "I just wish I could take it back."

"You can't. You can't give me back what you stole from me, Cor. You can't un-ring that bell." Willow moves away, as if standing here was painful. Which, it was. " I gotta go. Just leave Buffy alone, Cordelia. Do it, or I'll find a way to hurt you like you hurt me. Got it?"

The walls come up immediately, and Cordelia gets defensive.

"You can't do anything to me. It's way too late for that, Willow. You can't prove anything, and if you try anything, I'll ruin you!"

Willow chuckles at that, frustrating Cordelia further.

"That's the thing, Cor. You already hurt me. I've got nothing left to lose. Can you say the same?" Willow's lips tighten. "Screw with Buffy, hurt her, and we'll see how much."

" You got nothing. No matter what you try, who'll believe you over me? No one… no one that counts. Face it, Willow. I got all the cards, and you got nothing."

"Maybe. Or maybe I do. I mean, what would happen if say… your father found out what you were doing?" She sits down on the bench, facing Cordelia. " I wonder how he'd take it? His daughter a pimp? Think he'd like that?" She leans in a little. " And I wonder, Cor, just how popular you'd be if Daddy cut you off? Without the cards, the clothes, the car. Just how long would you hold your title as Queen C around here?"

"You're so bluffing! He wouldn't believe you!"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Wanna risk it?"

Cordelia tries to stare her down, but Willow doesn't flinch. Finally, she turns away.

"Fine, fine. I'll leave your precious Buffy alone. OK?"

"Good. See? That wasn't so hard." Willow gets up to go.

"I suppose you hate me. Just like everyone else."

"No, you see, that's where you'd be wrong."

Cordelia looks up at her sharply.

"Thing is, Cordelia. I'm not a fool. I had a lot of time to think about things. Maybe too much. But what you said, what I felt off you before that party… I know that wasn't fake. You couldn't fake it. I just didn't understand why, if you felt like I thought you did, why you did what you did to me. I get it now. Still makes me want to yak, but I get it."

"What? What're you saying?" Cordelia can't help feeling something like hope. Dim, very far off, but hope.

"What I'm saying is," Willow leans over, brushing her fingertips over Cordelia's cheek, "nothing's impossible, if you really want it. You'll make it happen, if it means enough."

Cordelia sits there, mouth slightly open. Then she closes it, almost snapping her jaw.

"You're lying!"

"Am I?" Willow gives her a sidelong glance, "Think about it, Cordelia. When have _I _ever lied to you?" She turns to go.

"Wait… if I do this, if I leave Buffy alone… you'll… what?"

"I might think about some things. I might be able to overlook what happened. Of course, I can't overlook you sleeping around, know what I mean? Never mind the "I don't share" policy I got, it's just kinda yucky."

"What're you saying?" Cordelia presses her. "If I give Buffy a pass, let her on the team, and … uh, the other, you'd… what?"

The barest tip of Willow's tongue appears between her lips.

"I dunno…" She says, turning around. She starts to walk away. " Why don't you do it, and call me?"

Before Cordelia can say another word, she turns the corner and is gone.

Cordelia just sits there, stunned.

3

"What do you want?"

Buffy looks around, seeing Harmony leaning against a post, arms crossed over her chest. She's dressed in her cheerleading outfit, taking a rest. She glares at Buffy, a sour expression on her face.

_Oh, swell, just the person I wanted to see. NOT!_

"Hi, Harmony," Buffy smiles, pouring on the charm. "I'm just looking for Cordelia. She around?"

"Why would she want to see you?"

"Excuse me?"

"She's busy. She doesn't have time for every loser that comes along wanting to see her. Get lost."

"Uhhh… when did you become her social secretary, Harm?"

"Are you deaf, _Muffy?_ Get lost!"

"Why don't you let Cordelia decide who she wants and doesn't want to see, Harmony?"

"Oh, that's right, I forgot. You think you're better than us, don't you?"

"What?"

"Just because you're from L.A., you got this 'tude like you walk on water and poop roses or something. Well, get it straight, bottle blonde. You're nothing, get it? You didn't make it, and you're just a loser like all the rest. We don't have time for losers around here, so take your bony butt and run back to your geeky friends. We don't want you around here. Clear, Muffy?"

"Buffy, Harmony. My name is Buffy." Buffy feels her cheeks flush, but she swallows her anger. _I gotta get along with the 'tard. Obviously, Cordelia likes her, god knows why. _" Look, Harmony. I just want to talk to Cordelia. It'll take like 5 minutes. Can't you just tell me where she is?"

"Are you deaf, as well as stupid? I just told you she's too busy to see you," Harmony starts to speak slowly, as if to a child. "You didn't make the squad, Muffy. You don't got what it takes. I could do better routines than you did at try-outs with a broken leg. So, run along now and stop being a pest. Do you got that, or should I write it down for you?"

_Ten… nine… eight… seven… oh, screw it!_

"Harmony, I'm trying to be nice here, really, I'm trying hard," Buffy feels the venom rising. "I didn't even ONCE mention your buffalo butt or battleship hips. Matter of fact, only thing I've seen fatter on ANYTHING is your head. So back off, you Guernsey!"

"HEY! You can't get away with calling me Cow, you twig. God, you're so flat I don't even thing you have boobs! What are you, like 10? Why don't you go back to the sandbox, Bony Butt, where you belong!"

"At least I don't knock over chairs when I turn around. Who's your dressmaker hon? Omar the tentmaker?"

"YOU SCUMMY LOSER!" Harmony launches herself at Buffy knocking her over. They fall on the ground, and start bitch slapping each other. "Stop hitting like a girl!" Harmony whines, getting the worst of it.

She manages to grab Buffy's wrist, and bites it hard.

"YOU BITCH!" Buffy roars, grabbing at Harmony's hair, pulling it hard.

Cordelia, who had been chatting with some of the other girls, hears Buffy's yell and turns around.

"Oh, wow, look at 'em go" Aura, always loving a good catfight, starts over.

"Stay here, I'll handle this," Cordelia says, starting towards the fighting girls.

"No way! We don't ever get to see…"

"I said, stay HERE!" Cordelia orders her.

Aura backs off meekly. "We never get any fun!"

Cordelia stops a few paces from the action, watching as Buffy and Harmony roll on the mats, pulling each other's hair, getting in a punch or two, and yelling curses at each other.

She just loves it when two girls fight over her.

Then she sighs. _Willow would have a fit if I let this go on. Damn, this being good stuff is gonna be a total pain!_

"Hey, HEY! Knock if off. What's going on?"

Both girls freeze, seeing Cordelia staring at them. They break apart, getting to their feet.

_Aw, geeze. Nice one, Buff. You couldn't just keep the old temper in check for a few more minutes._

"I was just telling Loser Summers here to get lost." Harmony says, feeling pleased with herself. "After all, we've got better things to do than waste time with dorks, and she attacks me!"

"I so did not, you overstuffed cow! You charged me like an elephant in heat."

"Shut up, bone yard! Tired of hearing your whining, screechy voice!"

"Make me, Hippo girl!"

Harmony is about to rush Buffy again, when Cordelia stops her.

"Harmony!"

"Cordelia?" Harmony stops in her tracks, looking sheepish.

"When did I give you permission to decide who I can and can't see?"

"Uhhh…I was just…" Harmony gives Buffy an evil look. "She started it!"

"Harmony?"

"Yes, Cordelia?" Harmony is in boot lick mode.

"Let it go, ok? Go over and tell the other girls practice is over, then go home, Ok?"

"But I was just…"

"Harmony. Go home, please? I'll take care of this."

"But, Cordelia, I just wanted to…"

"Harm!"

"Ok, ok!" She looks at Cordelia, then gives Buffy the glare. "God, hang with losers if you want. First Willow, now this creep. I'll see you later."

"Harmony? I'll call you later, ok?" Cordelia softens her tone a little

"Really?" Harmony is all sweetness again.

"Yeah, later. So, go home, ok?"

"Ok," She smiles and gives Buffy the "See, I'm better than _you_ " look, and leaves.

There's a brief silence as they wait for her to leave, then Cordelia turns back to Buffy.

"So, why did you want to see me? Or did you just want to punch out my bestfriend?"

"No, no, I… I didn't mean it, really, Cordelia. I … she just started calling me names, and I called her names back, and she attacked me!"

"Don't sweat it. Harmony gets overzealous sometimes. For some reason she's appointed herself my personal watchdog. Go figure," Cordelia shrugs. "But that still doesn't answer why you're here."

"I wanted to talk to you…"

"Is this about getting on the team?" Cordelia looks at her sternly, enjoying watching her wither a little.

"Yeah," Buffy blushes, feeling 3 inches tall. "How did you…?"

"Willow mentioned something about it. She was a very passionate advocate for Team Buffy!" Cordelia smirks.

"Uhhh… Cordelia? About Willow, honest, I didn't send her here. I don't know why she came I wish she'd just butt out of my business, but really, if she said anything , don't listen to her, ok?"

Cordelia chuckles. _God, she REALLY wants it. And she's sooo cute when she babbles. But… no more screwing around, Cor. You know what you gotta do._

"Buffy, relax, ok? I'm not like an ogre or nothing… just the bitch queen of Sunnydale high…"

"I… no I didn't say that, honestly. I mean, I don't think you're a bitch… that was Willow, all her, ok?"

_I just love groveling. It's so much fun._

"Buffy, chill out. C'mon, sit with me," Cordelia leads a nervous, eager to please Buffy to one of the benches. She pats the space beside her. "You know I gotta be a bitch, Buffy. You were top dog in your school in L.A., right?"

"Ummm … yeah…"

"Ok, then, thing about being top dog, all the other bitches want your place. So, you gotta be the biggest, meanest bitch of all. I'm kinda proud of my bitchiness. I work hard to be Queen C around here." She half grins at Buffy. "You get that, right?"

"Sure," Buffy says, feeling a little suspicious. _Ok, why the buddy- buddy stuff?_

"Just so you don't forget _who_ is Queen around here, got it, Buffy?" Cordelia's tone is a little firmer now.

"Yeah, I got it." _Ok, get it now. Smashing me over the head with the scepter. _

"Good. As long as you know who's the boss, we'll do just fine. Now, why did you come here?" _Just a little more torture. I got to have some fun, right?_

"Uhhh… well… look. I really, really want to be on the squad, ok? I mean, I get that you're angry with me about Saturday, but honest, I didn't mean for that to happen. I really didn't. I just… look, what can I do to make it up? I'll do anything to be on the team, Cordelia. Just name it."

_Tempting. Sooo tempting, you little tease. Why couldn't you have shown up a few hours earlier?_

"Buffy, you wanna know why Willow was here? She came by to point out that you really were good at try outs. Now, I wouldn't have her on my team. She moves like a stick in cement. But she's right, you did a good routine. No, you did a great routine. And well, after she left, I got to thinking. Sure, I'm pissed about the party, but it's just a party, you know? Stuff happens." She shrugs. "And hey, I really want those state championships this year. This is my last chance if I'm _ever_ gonna get out from under the shadow of " Catherine the Great" Madison. God, that bitch really burns my butt. Each year she comes to the Cheerleader dinner and reminds us she was the ONLY one to EVER take the Sunnydale team to the championships. God, I so want to stick that down her throat. Just once, get me?"

"Oh yeah, I get it."

"Good, cuz if I let you on the team, I'm gonna work your ass off."

_Did I just hear that right? Let me on the team?_

"I'm sorry, could you say that into my other ear. The one that isn't thinking you said you'll let me on the team?"

"Oh, I rethought it out, Buffy. And I figured, ok, I'll give you a shot. I _really _want to win, get it? So, you work hard, you're NEVER late, and do exactly what I say. You can do that, and I'll give you a slot… on probation."

"Really!" Buffy almost jumps off the bench in excitement. "I'm on, you're not kidding me, right?"

"No joke, Buffy. I don't joke about the squad. Cheerleading is totally serious to me. Don't make me regret my choice."

"I won't. God, I promise, you won't regret this. I'll work hard, I'll do better than my best. We'll get that trophy for you, man, I promise. You'll see!"

"I better. I don't take slackers on my team. You miss practice, you don't work on the routines, and your out. Am I clear?"

"Oh yeah, perfectly clear. Totally clear!" Buffy, impulsively, hugs Cordelia tightly.

"Hey, hey, don't get sloppy on me!" Cordelia can't help the tingles she's getting. _Hey, she hugged me! I didn't ask her to!_ She pushes Buffy away. "We don't need to get all gay here. You're on, ok?"

"Yeah, ok. Better than OK. I'll show you. I'm gonna be the best girl on the squad!"

"Good attitude to have, Buffy. You'll need it. Now, you already missed on practice, so come in tomorrow ready to work. And I mean, work hard."

"I will," Buffy gets up to go. "Thanks, Cordelia. Really. You won't be sorry."

She starts to leave, but Cordelia stops her.

"Buffy."

"Yeah?"

"You're like, friends with Willow, right?"

"Yeah. Well, not like good friends. We know each other. I mean, really, she's my sister's friend. I mean, I don't _have_ to be her friend.. I mean…"

"Buffy, it's ok. Actually, I want you to be her friend. I want you to be good friends, ok?"

Buffy looks at her questioningly. " Yeah, ok. If you say so… but…"

"Buffy, are you questioning my leadership already? Please don't tell me I made a mistake reconsidering you…"

"No, no! No problems. Friends. Good friends. We'll be like this!" She holds up crossed fingers.

"Ok, well… I guess you better get home, huh? You gotta keep a B average or above to stay on the cheerleaders. Maybe Willow could help you with that?"

"Yeah… yeah, good thinking!"

"Ok, well… don't you have somewhere else to be?"

"Right, going." Buffy turns, saying over her shoulder. "Gone!"

"Oh, Buffy, wait!"

"Huh?"

"Nice one about Harmony. She really does have a buffalo butt," Cordy chuckles.

"You heard that?"

"Oh yeah. But hey, do me a favor. Try to get along with her? She's an airhead, but she's good at cheerleading."

"Sure, I'll be sweet as honey."

"Ok, no need to get sick about it. Just don't fight with her."

"Got it." She stands, expectantly. "Can I go now?"

"Please."

"See you tomorrow!" Buffy turns, and almost walking on air, leaves.

Cordelia watches Buffy, specifically the way her butt sways in her tight jeans, and licks her lips.

_Hmmm… well, too bad I won't be getting a taste of that. Yow! But, still, you can be of use to me, Buffy. Real good use. Oh yeah._

_Operation Get Willow has so begun!_

Cordelia chuckles, and grabbing her purse, heads for the exit.

4

Buffy is walking on air.

As she almost floats down the hallway, she can't believe her luck. Not only isn't Cordelia looking to destroy her, she actually _put_ her on the team, and is being… friendly. _Maybe finally my luck is changing. Maybe things will start going right._

She stops for a moment, her cloud deflating just a little. _Should I be suspicious? I mean, this is just too good. Just too easy. Is she setting me up?_

Buffy shakes her head, and her cloud inflates again. _God, you finally get a break, and you wanna not only look the gift horse in the mouth, you wanna shoot it. What is wrong with you?_

She stops briefly at her locker, picking up her books. Slamming her locker shut with a flare and extravagant gesture, she makes her way towards the front entrance to the school, humming to herself. She starts dancing, she feels so good.

"Well, someone's happy, I see."

Buffy looks up to see Willow standing a little back, watching her.

"Good news?" Willow asks, catching up to her.

"Willow!" Buffy dances over to Willow, and then dances around her.

Willow starts to giggle.

"I did it. I made the team. It's sooo cool! Isn't that like the best?"

"Hey, that's great, Buffy. I'm glad to hear it." _So, Cordelia came through. Well, well._

"Yeah, and you know what else?"

"What?" Willow is laughing a little, catching Buffy's good mood.

"I have _you_ to thank for it!" Suddenly, impulsively, Buffy throws her arms around Willow and hugs her tightly.

"Huh?" Willow is puzzled. "Not that I'm hating the hugs, but me? What did I do?"

"Cordelia told me you went to see her!"

_What? Oh, no! No, no, no! She wasn't supposed to mention that!_

"Again, huh?" Willow tries to deflect this conversation, "Buffy, remember? I'm like not liking Cordelia much. Ok, at all. Why would _I _go see her?"

"Oh, c'mon, Willow!" Buffy breaks the hug, but grabs Willow's forearms. "She told me you went by, and said you watched practice, and thought I was really, really good. And that got her to thinking about it again, and she changed her mind and decided to put me on the team! Yaay YOU!"

Buffy hugs her again, much to Willow's bemusement, and maybe just a little delight. She gently disengages herself from Buffy.

"Buffy, I assure you, whatever I said had _no_ bearing on what Cordelia decided. Trust me, I'm the _last_ person she'd consult in this."

"Still, if you hadn't gone, I wouldn't be on the team. Thank you, thank you!" Buffy grabs her hands, and looks into Willow's eyes. "Really, Thanks."

Willow can't say she's hating this, nor is she hating the look of happiness in Buffy's eyes. She can't remember ever seeing it there before.

_Good going, Cor. I give you this round. You played it just right. Just right._

"Hey, I'm just happy you got on. And you seem very happy about it, too. But trust me, it was you and your skill as a cheerleader."

"You're a good friend, Willow," Buffy says, squeezing her hands, which she's still holding. "I'm so sorry I've been such a biotch lately. Really. I'm not usually that … ok, mean. Really, you… you know, you're just a really good friend, and I had to say that."

Willow smiles, a warm glow suffusing her. She takes back her hands, but not before giving Buffy's one final squeeze.

"It's just good to see you happy, Buffy," Willow says, honestly.

"Hey, I gotta go. But if you need anything, ever, you just let me know, ok? Oh man, I got so much I gotta do before tomorrow." She runs off down the hall, leaving a bemused but amused Willow behind.

Suddenly, she runs back.

"Lunch tomorrow? I mean, if you want to?"

"Sure, Buffy, that'd be great," Willow says, barely able to keep back the happy giggles.

"Cool. Seeya." Buffy disappears down the hall.

Willow, watching her go, shakes her head, a little overwhelmed.

Shrugging at the insanity of life, she makes her way out of school.

Buffy almost runs down the front path from school.

She hasn't felt this jazzed in she can't remember when. She starts ticking off a list in her head.

_Ok, so I gotta get a Cheerleading costume. I think they sell those at Rademachers. Then, I gotta get home, and talk to mom. I just got to get her to ease up a little on the restriction thing. I know when she finds out I'm on the squad, she'll be cool about it. Oh, man, I've got so much to do! Gotta get my homework done, then practice some routines. I mean, I can't go in there cold tomorrow. And then I gotta… oh, man, my radio! I forgot, it's kinda on the disabled list. Damn. Maybe I can ask Dawn. She's just so gonna want something for it. This sucks! Ok, I'll figure something out here…_

Buffy is so wrapped up in her own thoughts and plans, she almost misses Faith waiting for her on the motorcycle. Fact is, she _does_ miss her, until Faith calls out to her.

" Hey, Buffy, hold up. I need to talk to you."

Buffy comes to a sudden halt. She looks around to see Faith staring at her, sitting on her bike.

"Oh, hey, Faith. Ummm… can this wait? I really got a lot I've got to…"

"No, Buffy, it really _can't_ wait. Hop on, we're going for a little ride."

"Uhhh… Faith, really, now's not a good time for…"

"Buffy, I'm not kidding here. Get on the bike."

"Faith, you know I can't. I'm already on restriction. If mom catches me on your bike, I'm so gonna be dead!"

"Yeah, I forgot to thank you for getting me and your sister in trouble about that yesterday."

"Look, she's not supposed to be riding motorcycles. Mom doesn't …"

"I talked to your mom. Once she calmed down, that is. Seems someone, who'll remain nameless but whose name rhymes with stuffy got her so upset that she just lashed out at us. Once she calmed down, and I assured her that I made Dawn wear a helmet, and that I didn't break any speed laws or try any risky maneuvers, she was ok with it," Faith smiles tightly. "So, I'm pretty sure she won't mind me picking you up from school and taking you home… where your supposed to be right after school. Remember?"

_Oh, man, look at her. She's totally pissed. God, why now? Why today? I got to get this stuff done!_

"Faith, please. Can't this wait for an hour or two? I got on the cheerleading squad, and I got to get a uniform before the store closes. We'll talk after, ok? I promise."

Buffy sees Faith's eyes flash, and she backs up a step. _Man, she looks like she wants to hit me!_

"Yeah, well, Buffy. That's part of what I want to talk to you about," Faith says, her voice tight. "Get on the bike."

"But…"

"GET ON THE BIKE!"

Buffy wilts. She meekly walks over to the bike, and throwing her leg over, adjusts on the seat behind Faith.

"Here, wear this," Faith hands her the spare helmet.

Buffy straps it on, adjust her hair around the helmet.

"Ok, where is it?"

"What?"

"This store? We'll get your uniform, then it's straight home. Got it?"

"R-Really?"

"Don't push it Buffy. Where is it?"

Buffy gives her the name and directions to the store. Faith starts the bike, and revs it a little.

"Faith?"

"What?"

"What's going on? Why do you want to talk to me?"

"Later, when we get home. Hold on, Buffy."

With that, Faith pulls out with the bike, and they're on their way.

Buffy holds onto faith, her arms wrapped around her waist. Despite the fact that she gets to take a ride on Faith's bike, too, she has a sinking feeling that whatever they're going to talk about isn't going to be so fun.

_Why is she so upset? What did I do know? _Buffy thinks to herself as they disappear down the street.

_Can't I get one lousy break here?_

5

"… I don't get you, I really don't," Faith fumes, pacing back and forth in Buffy's room.

They're back at the house at Revello Drive, after picking up Buffy's uniform. Immediately on arriving, Faith moved the discussion down into her room in the basement. She wanted to keep it private.

" Don't you think about anyone else, ever?" Faith continues, obviously irritated. "Don't you get how much trouble you've caused everyone?"

Buffy's sitting on Faith's bed, feeling like a bad child just stealing money out her mother's purse. Her hands are in her lap, and she's looking at the ground.

All of this has been overwhelming to her. After her high on getting on the team, her spirits have been drowned by Faith's tense silence. After the little incident picking Buffy up at school, Faith barely said a word to her. All during the time getting her uniform, Faith just grunted, arms crossed over her chest. Buffy's elation, already starting to leak after seeing Faith at school, had thoroughly disappeared by the time they got home.

"It was just a party," Buffy says, a little sullenly, "I didn't think…"

"Yeah, that's for sure. You didn't, did you? Didn't you get a clue when this girl had you lie about where you were going?"

"It wasn't a lie! We started out at Cordelia's, just one of her …"

"Come off it, Buffy. You're mom may have bought that baloney, but I'm not. I know the score, girl. I've been there. You lied cuz you wanted to go to this party, and your buddy Cordelia told you to lie."

"Cordelia had nothing to do with it. You leave her alone."

Faith stops dead in her pacing. She looks at Buffy with an amazed look. Before Buffy can react, Faith is over , in her face.

"Nothing to do with it? Are you kidding me?" Faith is almost on top of her. "Can you sit there and tell me that after what happened Saturday night?"

"I don't know what you mean!" Buffy get defensive, looking at a very flushed and angry Faith who is towering over her at the moment.

Faith has a strong urge to slap the girl. Anything to wake her up. _God, I can't believe she can be the naïve. It's not possible, and to live as long as she has. _It takes every ounce of her self control to keep her hand at her side. Instead, she explodes away from Buffy, afraid if she looks at her face, she might just lose it.

"I know you're not stupid, Buffy. I know it!" Faith says, her back turned away from Buffy. "Yet, you're sitting there trying to convince me that your 'pal', your 'bud' had nothing to do with you almost getting raped Saturday night. Are you stupid, Buffy? Is that it?"

"No, I'm not stupid! She said she didn't have anything to do with it, and I believe her!"

"You'd have to be stupid to buy her story, Buffy. One look at her and I could tell she was lying." Faith turns around, her eyes narrowed. "Stupid, or you're lying too. To protect her. God only knows why, after what she was going to do to you!" She feels her neck flush. "The worst thing, Buffy? Wanna know the worst thing?"

"What?" Buffy's not really caring. She feels offended.

"You're picking this girl over your family. That's real nice, Buffy. Really nice!"

"What do you care?" Buffy says, jaw tight. "You're not part of my family. You're just some stranger that my mom's renting a room to."

Faith feels like she's been slapped.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just a stranger here. Still, I'm smart enough to see your mom's a nice woman, and cares a lot about you. Your sister does too. And they're totally worried about you. What you're doing. Don't that mean anything to you?"

"Butt out, Faith. It's none of your business."

"Believe me, Buffy, when I say I wish I could. Think I want to waste my breath talking to someone who doesn't give a crap about anyone but herself. But you made it my business."

"What're you talking about?"

"Well, Buffy. Because I tried to keep your ass from being some jock's play toy, they're pressing charges … against ME!"

"WHAT?" Buffy goes wide eyed.

"Yeah. Seems they're bringing assault and destruction of property charges against me cuz I waded in there to pull your ass outta the fire. I could very easily lose my place in college. Get kicked out, you know? So, Buffy. This isn't just _your _problem anymore. You made it mine!"

"Faith… oh god, I didn't … why? It doesn't make any sense. You didn't do anything but try to help me…"

"See, you're not thinking again, Buffy. They're not exactly seeing it that way. Those great buddies of yours? The frat boys, and frankly, that creepy little friend of yours? Are claiming I just went 'crazy' and broke up the place. They were innocent little lambs sitting around having tea and cookies, and I was the psycho bitch that went nuclear on them. Nice bunch of guys you got mixed up with, Buffy. Real nice. Now, I get hauled into the Dean's office and dragged on the carpet. I've got to explain my actions to some investigation committee. And guess what? I don't have any witnesses. So, I'm thinking, unless I can convince them , I'm screwed."

"Faith, what can I do. How can I help? I'll… I'll testify. That's it. I'll testify. I'll tell them you were trying to save me from those creepy college guys…"

"And they'll pick you apart like overcooked chicken, Buffy. You were so wasted that night you were coming on to me. They start asking you questions, and you're going to be thought of as an idiot. Or worse, lying for me. No thanks, I'll deal." Faith turns her back on her. "Why don't you go upstairs, Buffy. I really don't want to look at you right now."

"Faith, please. There's got to be something I can do to help…"

"You're still not getting it, are you? Too late, Buffy. You had a chance not to do this. You decided to do it, and now there's consequences," Faith laughs. It's a harsh, bitter laugh. "Funny thing is, I get to pay for it. Just go, all right? There's nothing you can do. Nothing."

"Faith, I'm sorry. I'm really… really … sorry…" Buffy's voice catches, breaking up into little sobs.

Faith turns slightly toward Buffy. Her face isn't angry anymore, just a little sad.

"I know, Buffy. I really do. But sorry isn't going to fix it, Buffy." She turns away. "Now, I'd really like for you to go."

It finally sinks into Buffy's head how serious this is. Looking stricken, she turns and starts upstairs.

"Buffy?"

Buffy stops mid stair, and turns back.

"Yes?"

"You know what, Buffy? I really don't care about me. I want to go to UC Sunnydale, but if I don't get to, I'm gonna survive. But you gotta start thinking about what you're doing is doing to your family. You only get one, Buffy. You really don't want to throw it away." Faith frowns, her eyes sad. "I know what that's like, and you don't want to be there. Trust me on that." Faith just shakes her head. "Just think about what you're doing, ok?"

Buffy feels as if an arrow's been shot through her heart. The understanding, the sadness Faith is feeling hurts a hundred times worse than the yelling did. Biting her lip, she turns and runs upstairs so Faith doesn't see her crying.

Faith wanders over to her bed, and sits down. She hits her fist into hand, angry more at herself than at Buffy.

_God, I didn't want to come down on her like a ton of bricks. I don't hate her. I know under all the crap she's putting out there, she's a good kid. Just she's mixed up with a real nasty bunch, and she's gotta see it. Before it's way beyond too late._

_She doesn't have a clue how much it hurts to lose your family. God, I hope she never does. It sucks beyond anything else. I hope I got through to her. I really do._

_And If I ever see that black haired bitch she's been hanging with? I'm gonna rearrange her face a little. Don't care what they do to me._

_She's a real nasty piece of work, that one._

_One evil little bitch._

6

Joyce walks up the walkway to the house, feeling a little tired.

It's been a long day, and the new show? She's not even sure that's going to come off. She's worried that the artist, who's more than a little flaky, is going to back out at the last minute, leaving her in the lurch.

_That little twit better not. I swear, I lined up a lot of clients interested in his work, and if he pulls a powder, I swear I'm gonna make his name poison in the art community._

She looks at her watch, and frowns. _God, I'm running late, and I still have to make dinner for the girls. Sometimes I wish they could just figure it out and do it themselves. Maybe I'll just order a pizza… so much easier…_

She puts her key in the lock, and pauses. _God, I hope Buffy's not in another snit. Don't think I can take it tonight._

She's about to open the door when she pauses again. She hears a strange sound emanating from the inside. _Is that laughter? What the …_

She opens the door, and there, sitting at a beautifully set table is Dawn and Buffy. Both are leaning back in their chairs, laughing their heads off.

"… so anyway, there I am, sitting next to this guy on my bike. This was before I got it lookin' sharp, and frankly, it really looked like junk. Now, this guy, he's on one of these Suzuki racing bikes, you know what I mean. The ones with all the sleek bodies and cool looking styling and all. And he's sitting there, like king turd, thinking he's gonna make mush out of this stupid little girl on her piece of junk bike, right?"

"So, we're lining up on the line one at the old racetrack me and my buddies used to race at, and this guy is like boasting how he's gonna take my money, cuz it's pretty obvious, I got nothing between my legs, know what I mean?"

Both girls are laughing hysterically at that.

Joyce just sits there, just enjoying the scene. _Would you look at her? She's got them eating out of the palm of her hand. If I weren't so damned in love with her, I'd be so jealous!_

"So, anyway, my friends are all trying to talk me out of it, you know? I mean, they're talking trash about my baby, saying I'm so gonna get my ass whupped by this dude on his cool on cool bike, you know."

The girls nod in unison.

"It was a total put up job. Cuz my buddies knew I'd spent every spare dime I had made over the last six months fixing up the engine on my lil old rust bucket. She looked like nothing, but baby, she purred like a cheetah. Trust me on this."

More nods.

"Now, normally we don't try this kinda stunt. First of all, it can backfire on you, cuz the big thing in racing? Is the skill of the driver. And I'm good, but there's better out there, a lot better. Sure, it's nice to have a totally hot bike, but I've seen good riders wipe out bikes twice as good, because they knew what to do, and when to do it." She leans in conspiratorially. "But this was a special case. First of all, this guy was new. Second, we'd watched him race, and baby, he was a novice if ever I saw one. But the thing that really tipped it? He was an obnoxious prick. I mean, he went around making fun of other riders bikes, and when he saw mine? He burst out laughing. So, I was totally pissed, and wanted to teach him a lesson."

"So, anyway my buds were all " No, no, don't do it Faith. He's gonna clean the track with you. You aint got nothing." The long and short of it? We bet. And I mean, we bet heavy. I bet my bike against his, and some boot thrown in, that I could beat his ass in a half mile race. Now this was a quarter mile track, so that meant two laps around. Well, Mr. Race guy? He so thought he had it locked up. He pulled this racing bike of his around, and he's sitting there, gunning the engine, making all sorts of noises, and of course, talking more trash."

"What happened? What happened?" Dawn cries out, impatiently. "Did you wipe the track with him?"

"Shut up, squirt, would you? Let her tell the story already, " Buffy cuts her off.

"Well, anyway, he rides up next to me, you know, gunning his bike, looking over at me. And I'm sitting there, my bike not even running. "

"What's wrong, girl? Can't get it started?" He asks, all smart ass like.

"Yeah, she can be a little colicky. But I'll get her running," I replied, stringing him along.

"Look, if you want to call off the bet, that's ok. I'd feel bad taking your money… and god, I'd so have to trash that thing you call a bike. Why don't you just say I won, and we'll spare you the embarrassment."

"No, no, no," I said, "I promised you a race, so we'll race. Let me try to get this bucket of bolts turned over."

"And with that, I kicked over my bike. Well, I think he was starting to get that something was exactly what he thought, cuz of course my baby started right up, roaring to life and baby, she purred. She really purred. I think she knew here honor was at stake here, you know?"

"So we line up. My buddy's got a red shirt she borrowed from one of the guys, and I turn to him, just before she waves it."

"Two laps, winner takes all, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," The dude answers. He wasn't sounding as confident as he did just five minutes ago.

"Anyway, my friend drops the shirt, and we're off"

"Now, It wasn't EVEN close for the first lap and a half. I was ahead of that sucker oh at least by 4 lengths. I swear I could hear that guy cursing behind me, calling me every name in the book, and a few new ones I'm sure he invented. Anyway, I'm taking the last turn, and I'm sure I've got it. I mean, what could go wrong, right?"

"What happened!" Dawn is up, waving her hands.

"Well, I guess I musta pissed somebody off up there, cuz as I'm coming out of that last turns, I'll be damned if my back tire doesn't blow."

By this time, Joyce is as caught up in the story as the girls are. She still hasn't said anything, but she's following along like her girls.

"Well, let me tell ya. Last thing you want is the back tire to blow, cuz there goes your stability. All of a sudden, I'm fishtailing on the track, and this bastard is gaining on me, and damned if he isn't trying to run me over. He must've been totally pissed at me for making him a fool. Anyway, I'm like knowing this is it, I'm done, just bury me here, right?"

"But damned, if my Irish don't get up, and I'll be damned if I let some blowhard overstuffed rookie beat my ass in this race. So, I'm all over that bike trying to straighten it out, and I finally get it pointed right, but he's like up with me now, and me with a shredding back tire. But no way I'm letting him win. So, anyway, I gun my girl, and I'm riding forward on shredded tire and rim. Still, he's almost got me now, we're down to the wire, and shit I'm gonna lose. I can just feel it."

"Nooo… don't even tell me you lost!"

"Well, I woulda. But the bet was, whichever bike got under the wire first, wins. So I revved it up, and jumped off, and my bike slid in under the wire just before he did. Man, it was sweet. I almost busted my ass, but it was totally sweet. The look on that guy's face when he realized he lost? Man, it was worth a sore butt!"

"YAAY!" Dawn crows out, standing up and doing the Rocky dance, like she'd just won. "You showed that guy real good!"

"So, what happened to the bike?" Buffy asks, a little calmer, but you can see she's glad Faith beat the guy.

"Oh yeah, that. Well, I didn't have any use for it, so I sold it. Good thing, too. Cuz I had to replace the frame and rear wheel on my bike, and that costs a lot."

Joyce retreats into the foyer, not wanting to ruin the moment. She opens and closes the door again, making sure they know she's here.

"Hey, guys, I'm home," Joyce calls out, walking into the dining room.

It's not until this moment, being so caught up in the story, and the bonding going on, that she realizes the table is all set. And she smells the most delicious aroma in the air.

"Hope you brought an appetite, Joyce, cuz dinner's just about done."

The three of them look at her, smiling.

"You cooked?" She turns to Faith. "You didn't have to do that!"

"Oh, it was no big. And anyway, I had the help of two very capable sous chefs. So, with Dawn on chopping and dicing duty, and Buffy here on setting the table, it went like that!" She snaps her fingers.

Joyce is more than a little overwhelmed. After the day she had, she'd been dreading coming home, making dinner, and trying to ignore the tension in the air. Instead, she walks into this.

_If I didn't know before what a great choice I made when I hooked up with Faith, I think I have the best proof possible. Every day she just makes it better and better._

Joyce probably has one of the best meals she's had with her family(and Faith is definitely family now, if that really was ever a question) in a very long time. Instead of the usual tension and sullen attitudes, the quiet and twisted stomachs, everyone was at ease, laughing and just enjoying the meal.

"Buffy, why don't you tell your mom what happened today."

Buffy looks up sharply at Faith.

"You know, at school. What happened at school, "Faith amends, reading Buffy's look.

"I got on the cheerleading squad," Buffy smiles, turning to her mom.

"Really honey?" Joyce smiles. "That's great. I think it's good you get back into that…"

"Me too, mom," Buffy quickly agrees, "but ummm… well, there's practice after school, and I'm on restriction…"

"Well, I think considering, we can bend it a little. What time does your practice start and end?"

Buffy can't believe her ears.

"You mean it? I can go to practice? I mean, I don't have to quit?"

"Honey, look. I don't want to make your life miserable. I just want you to… I really think this would be good for you. "

"Thanks mom," Buffy gets up, and goes over and hugs her mom. "You're the best."

Joyce flushes with happiness. She can't remember the last time Buffy hugged her spontaneously.

"Honey, you're still on restriction. I'll let you attend practice, and go to the games, but I expect you home right after. Understand?" She braces for the protest.

"Sure mom, I get it. I messed up, and I gotta do my time," Buffy says, "just thanks for letting me do this. It means a lot." She hugs her mother again, then returns to her chair.

The rest of the meal went smoothly, and by the end of it, Joyce was in a bit of a daze. _We got through an entire meal without someone losing their temper, without someone storming off. God, I could so get used to this!_

Dawn, for her part, can't remember a better dinner. The best thing was how well everyone seemed to get along. _No fights. God, so cool. Buffy even acted like a sane person._ She also noticed how well her mother and Faith got along. She noticed her mom was treating Faith like family, and his made her happy. She was seriously beginning to think Faith walked on water as a hobby. _If anything is a miracle, what she did with dinner tonight qualifies. _She was seriously liking this new woman. Maybe crushing a little on her, too. _She's beautiful, funny and smart. What's not to like? Oh, and she treats me like I'm an adult. Bonus!_

"Faith, thank you for a lovely dinner," Joyce says when the meal is done. "It was delicious."

"Hey, no big. I like to cook. And I had help," She turns to the girls.

"Well, thank you too, Buffy and Dawn," Joyce smiles.

"C'mon guys, lets get this place cleaned up. Joyce, why don't you go in the living room and relax while we finish up here?"

"Don't be silly," Joyce protests, "I'll clean up. I mean, you guys cooked."

"Yeah, and you worked all day. We can manage it, can't we?" Faith looks at Dawn and Buffy.

"Sure, we got it mom," Dawn says, grabbing her plate and heading for the kitchen.

"No sweat, mom, it's cool," Buffy is up, following her in with her own.

"See, under control, Joyce."

Joyce smiles at her.

"You're something, you know that?"

"Yeah, that's what all the gorgeous babes tell me," Faith says softly. "Now scoot, and let us handle this."

Joyce does as she's told, and while walking into the living room, begins to believe that maybe, just maybe, this could really work out.

Faith grabs her dish and Joyce's, and heads into the kitchen.

"Hey, Dawn. Didn't you say you had a study date with Janice, tonight?"

"Yeah, but I can be a little late. It's cool." Dawn says, rinsing the dishes to put them in the dishwasher.

"Hey, no, you should go. I think Buffy and I can handle it from here. Right, Buffy?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. You go on, Dawn. We got it."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah, so scoot."

"Cool, thanks, Faith. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, see you later, kid."

"Not a kid!" Dawn says, but right now if Faith called her a baby, she wouldn't care. She disappears from the kitchen.

Buffy and Faith scrape the plates, a silence falling between them. Finally, after nearly getting the dishwasher full, Faith breaks the silence.

"Hey, Buffy."

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say, you did good tonight. I mean, you were really nice to your mom, and all, and I appreciate it." She nods her head, closing the dishwasher door. "That was really good."

Buffy stands there, feeling a like she has her own private whirlwind of emotions blowing through her. On the one hand, she's very pleased that Faith is pleased with her. Even with something as small as tonight. On the other hand, she's still upset at herself for upsetting Faith so badly earlier. She doesn't know exactly how to feel, really.

"Hey, Buffy," Faith goes on, seeing the expression on her face. "About before? Don't sweat it. I'm ok, ok? No matter what, I'm gonna be ok."

"You… you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Naw. I mean, yeah, I was pissed with you. But more because you were being kinda dumb, and hurting everyone around you in the bargain. But what you did tonight? That was totally cool. I think maybe you're gonna start thinking about things, rather than going off half-cocked. Don't you?"

Buffy nods.

"Good, so why don't you go watch some TV with your mom or something while I finish up in here."

"I can help…"

"I got it Buffy."

"I should actually go upstairs and get on my studies, I guess. I mean, if I want to stay on the squad, I gotta keep my GPA up."

"That sounds like a good idea," Faith smiles. "You know something? If you keep acting like this, I think I could get to like this Buffy."

"Really?" Buffy feels some little tingles all over. "You mean it?"

" Yeah, I mean it. Now get outta here, ok?"

"Sure," Buffy starts off, then turns back. "Thanks, Faith."

"For what?"

"Just… for everything." Buffy disappears out the door.

_Strange kid. Kinda nice, but strange._ Faith shakes her head.

Still, she can't help humming to herself as she finishes up the dishes.

7

Later in the evening, Faith and Joyce are on the couch, watching TV.

The dishes are done, and Buffy is upstairs, listening to music , daydreaming about being on the squad and how she was going to use that to make herself popular at Sunnydale High, or some such. She's snuggled in bed, feeling very happy with herself and the world tonight.

She came down after finishing homework, just to see what was going on. It's not that she had any suspicions about her mom and Faith; not really. Faith was just the new person in the house, and frankly, she was crushing a little on her. Ok, maybe more than a little. Anyway, she didn't want Faith to forget she was around, just in case she might.

Buffy enters the living room to catch them… watching some old movie on TV. She moved in, making her presence known.

"Hey guys, whatcha watching?" She asks, moving over by the sofa.

"Hi, honey, finish your homework?" Joyce asks, solicitously.

"Yup, strained the brain, and now it's drained," Buffy grins, coming over and standing by her mother. "So, what's on?"

"Heya, sport. We were just watching a Mickey Rooney-Judy Garland marathon on the Nostalgia channel. Man, this stuff is a hoot," Faith stares at the TV. "Would you look at those clothes!" She laughs.

"Hey, those were the haute couture of the day, you know. " Joyce interjects. "All the women wanted to look like that."

"How would you know, Joyce? Were you like there?" Faith teases her.

Buffy laughs as her mom's cheeks turn red.

"You're terrible! Of course not. But it was Hollywood, and they always have the latest fashions. Everyone wanted to imitate the style, you know."

"Wow, mom, listen to you. You should apply for a job at the fashion police. I'm sure they'd fine a place in the 'old stodgy' section." Buffy teases her.

"I think that's enough out of you, young lady," Joyce tries to sound offended, but starts to chuckle.

"Well, you wouldn't catch me dead or alive in that frou-frou crap. I mean, look at the lacy collars and those dresses. Man, can you get like more bag like?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think you'd look adorable in one of those dresses. What do you think, Buffy? Would Faith look cute in that dress?" Joyce points at the screen.

Buffy looks at where her mom's pointing, and bursts out laughing. "Oh yeah. Faith would be stylin' " She guffaws.

"I dunno. Actually, I'm thinking Judy there is more Buffy's size. She'd probably look hot in that."

"ME! You're so full of it. I mean, do I want to have hips that flap in the breeze. And those shoulders? Yuck-o!" Buffy shudders in horror. "No way!"

Faith and Joyce burst out laughing, while Buffy stands there burning, not believing she got sucked into that.

"You two are whack, you know that?" Buffy shakes her head. "I'm going to bed. Let you two get your jollies somewhere else."

"We were only teasing you Buffy," Joyce says, still giggling a little.

"You can dish it, huh, Buff? But taking it aint so much fun." Faith teases her.

"Hey, I'm a good sport!" Buffy protests, but feels a definite chuckle coming on. "Just I got better things to do than hang out with the Fogey Twins. Like, watch my nail polish dry."

"Good night, dear," Joyce says.

"Night mom," Buffy comes over and kisses her mom on the cheek.

"Night, sport," Faith calls from the other side of the couch.

Buffy hesitates a moment, then walks over to Faith, and bends over, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Night, Faith," She says. She sashays out of the living room, making sure Faith catches a good glimpse.

Joyce shakes her head, bemused. _God, would you look at her? She's totally flirting with Faith. Well, sorry baby. But Faith's mine, and you can't have her!_

Now it's just the two of them in the living room. Joyce has managed to scoot over closer to Faith, and they're sitting very close together, holding hands. The Marathon has ended, and they're watching some old musical in black and white on the TV.

It's the usual theme. Boy meets girl, Boy woos girl, they burst into song, Boy loses girl, et al.

Joyce is only watching the film with half an eye. She surreptitiously steals glances at the woman sitting next to her, feeling like the luckiest woman on the planet.

She can't remember when she's been this happy. Buffy is settled and happy. Dawn is happy, and Joyce is sitting here, next to the woman she adores, feeling like everything is going perfectly. She feels a sense of quiet peace she can't remember ever feeling before.

Her hands slips down, and she laces her fingers in Faith's hand. Faith looks up, and smiles, then turns back to the TV. Almost unconsciously, she squeezes Joyce's hand.

Joyce for her part is no longer paying attention to the TV. Along with the feeling of peace and happiness, is the strong warm fuzzies she's feeling for this woman next to her. She stares at her frankly, drinking in the image of her lover.

The way her lips don't quite press together, but meet like lovers, just barely holding onto each other at her mouth. How her nose tilts just slightly up, totally adorable. The dimples that don't quite disappear, even when she's not smiling. The way the light from the TV sparkles in her deep chocolate brown eyes. The rich brown hair, an unruly mane of soft silk, just flowing off her head over her shoulders. _I could so get lost in that hair,_ Joyce sighs internally, feeling the familiar stirrings in her groin. _God, I want to push her over and rip the clothes off her! Joyce! Control! Buffy's upstairs, Dawn might come in any minute. You gotta keep it in control! You're an adult, not some horny teenager with grabby hands._

_She makes me feel like a grabby horny teenager. Yow!_

_Just chill out. Maybe later, after the girls are all tucked up in their beds…_

_Still… we could kiss, right? Nothing big. Just something so I can feel those warm soft lips on mine._

_You KNOW where kissing leads to!_

_We're not kids! We're adults. We can keep our hormones in check. Just a little kiss.. just a little one…_

Joyce squeezes and tugs on Faith's hand, getting her attention. Her heart flutters in her chest when Faith turns, her warm wet lips looking sooo inviting.

"Hey, you" Joyce whispers, leaning in a little.

" Hey," Faith half grins, her dimple making Joyce's heart flutter faster.

Joyce leans in further, their heads tilt, their lips start to approach a landing…

"Hey, guys, I'm home!" the front door slams.

Joyce and Faith move apart quickly, each slightly blushing.

_God, that was close!_ Joyce thinks, her heart beating fast in her chest.

"Hi, guys!" Dawn wanders into the room, book bag over her shoulder. "What's up?"

"Hey, kid. How'd it go?" Faith recovers her voice first.

"Did you have a good time at Janice's?" Joyce chimes in, still feeling a little dry.

"uh-huh!" Dawn walks over, flouncing down on the couch between them, a very tight fit, considering they haven't moved that far apart. "Doing the study thing, getting the knowledge, growing the brain. The usual."

"Oh, right. And gossiping and talking about boys and trashing this girl or that, who's wearing last weeks fashion, and who's a biotch…" Faith teases her.

"Well, yeah. That's part of getting the knowledge," Dawn turns towards the TV. "So, what're we watching?"

Joyce and Faith look at each other over Dawn's shoulder, and surrender. No kissing for now.

"Oh, just some old musical on TV. Boy meets girl, Boy loses girl, Boy gets shot in the war… usual stuff," Faith says, settling back.

"Cool. Any popcorn?"

"On the table, dear. Try not to spill any, ok?" Joyce says, also settling back.

"Oh, c'mon, mom, I haven't done that since I was like… well, for months, anyway!"

She settles back, between her mom and Faith, and for 5 minutes tries to get into. Then a yawn escapes, which she covers, then a bigger one, which no one could cover.

"Well, this is…boring. Hey guys, you know they got this new invention. Called color. They're doing it in all the movies now, the ones made after the Stone Age, that is."

"Oh, you're funny, Punkin Belly," Joyce pinches her daughter's arm.

"Hey! Don't even call me that. That's a baby name" Dawn pouts. She doesn't want Faith to think she's a kid. "Oh, and ouch!" She rubs her arm.

"Teach you to make fun of old movies, kid," Faith ribs her. "These are classic."

"Well, hey, far from me to stop you fogies from enjoying your moving pictures," Dawn stands up, "Anyway, I guess I should think about bed."

"Maybe even try it out, see if it fits?" Her mother grins at her daughter.

"Funny mom. You should go on the road. I think they're still doing that creaky comedy in like the Ozarks or something."

"Say goodnight, Dawn," Her mom slaps her rear.

"HEY!" She blushes, then leans over and kisses her mom. "Goodnight, mom."

"Goodnight, dear."

Without even hesitating, she turns and kisses Faith on the cheek. "Night Faith. You're the best." She winks.

She trots out of the living room, heading for the stairs.

Joyce starts to laugh. "You're something, you know that?"

"Yeah, you told me that already," Faith scoots over closer.

"I swear, you not only stole my heart, but I think you got my daughters' hearts well in hand, too!"

"You're nuts, you know that?" Faith grins. "I'm just the new toy, you know? Once they get tired of me, it'll be all "Who's Faith?" and junk."

"I dunno. My Buffy's a hard case, and Dawn's no pushover. But they're almost competing over you." She takes Faith's hand. "I can understand the attraction."

"Hey, I got the original," Faith's arm snakes it way around Joyce's waist. "What do I need the imitations for?" She leans in, capturing Joyce's lips in hers.

The kiss becomes very warm, with happy little murmurs coming from the both of them. Lips slip and tongues slide, entwining in the space their joined mouth's create. Finally, the kiss ends, and Joyce pretends to swoon, leaning back on the couch, hand on forehead, palm up.

"Are you trying to seduce me, ma'am?"

"Do I have to try now?" Faith grins.

They lean in for another hot kiss.

"You know what?" Faith gasps a little, when the kiss ends.

"Hmmm?" Joyce, sleepy eyed, asks.

"Dawnie's right. This movie sucks." She grabs the remote, killing the TV. "I think we need to make our own movie." She reaches for Joyce, that lusty look in her eye.

"Faith! We can't… the girls!"

"Well," Faith is nearly panting. "I was thinking we could like go to my 'studio' downstairs, and work on it."

"Ah… you're going to show me your etchings?" Joyce teases her.

"No, actually, I thought maybe I'd show you my boobies," Faith unbuttons a button on her blouse.

"Faith! You're a nasty girl!" Joyce protests. "I like that in a woman." She gets up, grabbing Faith's hand. "Lets go!"

She starts to pull on Faith, who gets up, laughing.

"God, you're a little beast, aren't ya? A really horny little beast."

Joyce makes a low growling noise in her throat, and pulls on Faith's hand.

Giggling like kids, the two almost run for the basement door.

To be continued.


	15. Chapter 15

Change of Seasons, Chapter 14

1

"C'mon, c'mon," Faith says impatiently into the cell phone. "Answer the phone!"

Faith is waiting outside the Academic Committee room, waiting to be called to testify. Her nerves are not the best, and Joyce not answering her cell isn't helping matters.

She's not in her usual garb. Instead, she's wearing a tailored charcoal gray suit, with low heels and nylons. This alone is enough to make her itchy, but the fact that her academic career is on the line persuades her to dress more formally than normal. Her hair is tied back with a scrunchie, and her makeup is light and conservative. She's going for the "I'm serious here" look.

_Who am I kidding with these rags, anyway?_ Faith thinks, looking at her outfit. _I mean, really. Let's review the facts, ok? Jock Frat house presses charges against me for vandalism and assault. Jock's bring in the bucks in sports. I'm just what? Some scruffy kid from Southie. Yeah,_ She smirks, cynically, _I'm dead, right? I mean, c'mon, where money's involved, you think they're going to do the right thing? Yeah, and I'm Princess Whatserface of Monaco, right? This is bogus, I should just…_

"Hello?" A familiar and very welcome voice is heard on the line.

"Joyce?"

"Faith? Faith!"

"Hi, baby. I just… I really needed to hear your voice."

"Oh, honey, is it … what's happening? Is it bad?"

"I haven't gone in yet…"

"I should've come! I should be there with you. Damn this stupid art show. I should've let Taylor handle it. I can't concentrate on it, anyway. How are you? God, I should be with you right now, at your side…"

"Joyce, we talked about this. You couldn't do anything, anyway. I'm ok, I'm cool; I just wanted to hear your voice. It gives me a major happy, and it helps with the nerves."

"But…"

"No buts, Joyce. You know you can't afford being seen with me right now. I mean, with Hank and the divorce and all. Never mind your conservative clients. How happy would they be if they found out you were dating a twenty-one year old woman. Even if I'm smokin' hot!"

"Do you really think that matters? You're what matters to me honey."

"What about the girls, babe? What would they think about you and me?"

There's a slight pause at the other end. " You're assuming they'd be suspicious. I'm helping you out because you helped out Buffy…"

"They're not idiots, Joyce. They can put two and two together." Faith sighs; these words are killing her, "right now, with everything going on, it's not the time to come out about us."

Again, another slight pause. "I wish you'd let me send Buffy with you. It's not fair you facing this yourself. She should be there to testify for you…"

"Joyce, stop! I know you mean well, but just think a minute here. What good would it do? Buffy was majorly out of it that night. Her testimony wouldn't do anybody any good. And, she'd be spotlighted being at that party. It would probably cost her a spot on the cheerleading team. For what? Nothing. No, it's best this way. She's happy, and you yourself said she's doing better in school. Her not testifying is for the best…"

"What about you?" Joyce replies, full of concern. "What about your life? Don't you deserve to go to school? This is so unfair! How can they believe you were doing anything but trying to save Buffy, anyway? That's it. I'm coming over there. I don't care what happens. I'm going in that committee room, and give them a piece of my mind, and if they don't listen to me, I'm taking it to the Board of Regents. This isn't happening!"

"Joyce, Joyce! Cool down," Faith says softly into the phone. "God, I love you! But listen to me. It's ok, Joyce, no matter what happens. It's not, and I repeat, it's NOT the end of the world, ok? There are other schools, Joyce. There's the community college, or other schools I can try. It's going to be ok."

"This never should've happened. If I'd been a better…"

"Don't even go there, Joyce. That's beyond ridiculous. You can't watch the girls every minute of the day, especially now. You did your best."

"Then why do I feel like I failed?"

"Joyce, please. Don't get crazy before it happens, ok? It might go ok. Think that way, would ya? It might work out fine. We just gotta…"

"Ms. McKerrigan?" A young woman approaches Faith.

"Joyce, hold on a minute," Faith turns to the girl. "Yes?"

"You're wanted in the committee room now."

"Joyce, I gotta go. They're calling me now."

"Call me as soon as you find out anything."

"I will."

"Faith?"

"Yeah, Joyce?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. I gotta go. Bye."

Faith hangs up before Joyce can say another word. She was out of energy, and couldn't fake feeling confident anymore. Her face is grim as she turns to the girl waiting for her.

"Let's go," She says, standing up.

2

"C'mon, c'mon," Willow says, a little impatiently. She turns the dial on her locker, and when the handle doesn't go up, she pounds on it. "What's wrong with you, you bad locker?"

"It's the evil locker from hell!"

"Huh? What? Buffy!" Willow turns around, seeing the diminutive blonde standing at her shoulder, looking over. _Where'd she come from?_ "Hey, Buffy. I just don't know, you know? I swear I open this locker every day without trouble, but today it's being bad." She slaps the locker with her open palm. "Bad, bad, locker. Oh, and ouch!"

Buffy laughs.

"I don't think hitting it will help. I told you, it's the evil locker from hell. It probably likes being hit."

"Buffy, that's just… ok, weird comes to mind…"

"Well, it's either that, or for jollies, Snyder goes around and selects lockers at random and changes one number on the combination, making it terribly confusing for everyone."

"Did I say weird? Crazy is beginning to sound better…"

"Hear me out. First day here, I got my locker combination. 36-22 -33. I remembered it because, hey, who wouldn't _want_ that figure, right? So, all day, I'm using that combo, no problem right? So, next day, I come to school. Put in the locker combination, boom. Nothing, nada. Can't get it open. Dawn is laughing at me, saying I can't remember squat. Well, I _know _that was the combination. But finally, I had to go to the office to have it looked up. And damn, It's changed! The combination is 36-22-43! Somebody changed it! I swear. I mean, come on. Who'd want hippo hips, right?"

"Buffy, c'mon," Willow can barely suppress a laugh, "now you're sounding paranoid! Going around changing lockers. Snyder? Don't you think he has better things to do?"

"Like what? Do you _really_ think there's a Mrs. Snyder in the mix? I mean what woman would be crazy enough to _date_ him, much less marry him! No, I swear, he's some little troll of a man who never had a date in high school and now gets his revenge by …"

4

Cordelia Chase sits at a table in the Espresso Pump, stirring her mocha restlessly. She looks out on the street, and then down at her watch for the time.

It's 5:20 pm.

_Where is she? Did she forget? She better not forget. Where is she?_ Cordelia turns to the window again. Still not seeing what she wants to see, she looks back down at the table.

_Is she even coming? She has to come. I mean, come on, we had a deal here. I've kept my part of the bargain. Now, she's got to keep hers. _

_Right. Like that's going to compel her to be here, right? Because of some 'deal' you made with her? Why should she come, after what you did to her? Why should she even care?_

_But… but I did everything she wanted, didn't I? I let Buffy on the team, I let her sister alone. I'm even nice to them. She has to come! She has to!_

_Stop whining! You're a Chase. Chases don't whine!_

And suddenly, Cordelia is not in the Espresso pump, but on the porch of her Father's mansion. She's eleven years old, watching her parents preparing once again for another extended European 'tour'. Her mother is in a dither, waiting for her luggage to be loaded into the limousine. Her father is standing on the porch close to her, looking down on her.

"Why can't I go?" She asks quietly.

"Cordelia, we've talked about this many times. You know I have to travel in my business. It wouldn't work you coming along with us. You need a place where you can go to the same school, and not change every year. A place where you're not traveling here and there all the time. You're place is here, Cordelia." He kneels down next to her. "Do you understand that?"

"But I want to go. I never get to see you or mom. I'm always here. I'm not a child anymore, Dad. Why can't I go along?"

"Cordelia, you are still a child. You need a home, and a place to go to school. Your mother and I thought this would be for the best. We didn't want to send you to boarding school like we were. We wanted you to have a place you could come to every day where there were people to take care of you…"

"The servants? I know Frederick and Marie better than I know you and mother," Cordelia's tone turns sullen. "Why can't you stay home more? Why do you and mother always have to be off somewhere? I need you here!"

"Cordelia, that's enough," Her father takes her face roughly in his hand. "You're a chase. That means something! And it means, you don't whine, you don't cry, understand me? Chases don't do that!" He sighs heavily. "We have a position to maintain in this community, Cordelia, and that means I have to travel a lot. I'm sorry you don't understand that. Maybe when you grow up, and stop being a child, you will. But for now, I expect you to act like a chase." He stands up. "Stand up straight, and be proud of who you are! Stop slouching, and stop acting like this. I won't put up with it!"

Cordelia closes her eyes briefly, swallowing her anger. She stands straighter, almost rigidly.

"Better, now come along. It's time to say goodbye to your mother."

He takes her hand, and leads her to the limousine.

"Avery, I swear these servants are becoming more incompetent with each passing season," Amanda Chase, Cordelia's mother, shakes her head.

She is dressed in the perfect summer fashion. White sundress, strapless, with a single strand of pearls around her neck. On her feet are a pair of sandals that cost more than most people make in a week. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, but coiffed perfectly. She is wearing a large, floppy straw summer hat, and has on sunglasses.

"Hello, Cordelia, My, don't you look nice," Amanda says with all the sincerity of an actor in a bad dinner theater production. She waits a couple of beats, then continues. "Well?"

"You look nice too, mother," Cordelia says automatically.

"Well, dear, are you going to kiss your mother goodbye?"

Cordelia leans in; she turns to kiss her mother's cheek.

"Cordelia! No! Makeup!" Her mother laughs, not a pleasant sound. "Remember what I taught you."

Cordelia places her cheek close to her mother's , and they exchange an air kiss. Her mother smiles.

"Be good, dear. Don't give Frederick or Marie much trouble, ok? We'll be back in a few months," She turns to Avery. " did you get her placed in that Summer program I arranged for her?"

Avery Chase nods.

Cordelia frowns.

"Miss Barton's? Again? Why do I have to go there again?"

" You know very well why, young lady," Amanda says, "You're a Chase, and you will learn the proper way to behave. I won't be having it said that my daughter is anything less than the proper lady."

"I hate that place. It smells funny, and Miss Barton is a …"

"Cordelia Chase. You're life isn't always about what you want!" Amanda frowns. "Sometimes you have to do what you don't like. That's the price you pay for being in this family."

"I don't want to go there…"

"Cordelia," Her father looks at her sternly, "What did we discuss just now about that kind of behavior?"

For a moment, Cordelia looks into her father's eyes. Seeing the anger there, she lowers her own.

"Yes, sir," She says quietly.

"Good," He relents. "Now behave yourself, and we'll see you in a few months."

"Yes, sir," She says, stepping out of the limousine.

She turns, and starts walking up the steps. Outwardly calm, inside her emotions are roiling and boiling.

"Cordelia, wait. I need to tell you something."

She pretends she doesn't hear. Anything he has to say will only be about duty, or being a Chase, or something hurtful. She doesn't _want_ to hear anything more.

"Cordelia! Cordelia! …"

"Cordelia!"

Cordelia looks up sharply to see Willow standing by her table, looking down on her. For a second, the image of Avery Chase in the same position sends a shiver down her spine. She tosses it off.

"Well, there you are," Willow says, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Was it nice where you were?"

"Hey," Cordelia ignores the whole incident, "you're late. I thought you weren't coming." She points at her watch. "I don't like waiting."

"I got held up. I'm sorry," Willow says, a little defensively, sitting down opposite Cordelia. She sets a package on the table. "I think these belong to you."

"What are these?" Cordelia opens the box. Inside are the coat and diamond earrings she gave Willow. She looks at Willow, perplexed.

"Didn't you like them?" She asks, "I can get you something else if you…"

"I liked them very much. They're very nice," Willow says, quietly. "That's not the point."

"I don't get it."

"Cordelia, you can't buy me back," Willow says gently. "I'm not for sale. You've got to earn me back. These things are nice…" She looks longingly at the leather coat,"… but I don't want them."

Cordelia just stares at Willow, and shakes her head. "I didn't get these to try to bribe you. I saw them, and I thought of you, and thought they'd look good on you." She looks down at the gifts, not looking up at Willow. "You really think I was trying to buy you?" She looks up, genuine hurt in her eyes.

Willow sees the hurt, and feels confused. _ Is she being real here? She really wasn't trying to impress me with this stuff? How can I believe that? I know her; she goes after what she wants. Why is she acting like this? Like I slapped her?_

"I'm sorry, I thought…"

"I can't blame you, I guess," Cordelia sits there, feeling her stomach turning over and over, "I got that coming, after what I did. I just wanted… I mean, I just saw these, and I really wanted you to have them. I…" She puts the cover on the box, and pulls it off the table. "I really screwed up. Sorry." She sits there with the box on her lap, not really knowing what to do with it.

"Cor, I'm sorry, really. I just thought… oh man, it's just hard to know where you're coming from in there," Willow points at her head. "Sometimes you make me so mad because you can be so manipulative, and other times, you do these incredibly sweet things, and I just don't know what to think!"

"I don't know how this is going to work, if you don't trust me at all," Cordelia says mournfully. "I really want this to happen. Didn't I do what you asked? All of it?"

"Yeah, you did," Willow agrees," I gotta give you your props, Cor. You came through like you said you would, Willow looks at her. She shakes her head, " I just don't know what to think. I've seen you work, you know? And some of me, really, really wants to believe you. Believe that this is the real deal here. But other parts of me, remembers what happened the last time I trusted you." She looks a little angry and sorrowful at the same time. "You used me, when I just wanted to get closer. You did, and I can't forget that, Cor."

"I wasn't trying to use you. I was afraid I was going to lose you," Cordelia looks at Willow, trying to make her understand, "It wasn't about using you, it never was. I know you think I can just do anything I want, Will. But it's not like that, not at all. My family, my father, has certain ideas about me. About what I should do with my life, what I should become?"

"This isn't 1860 Cordelia. You're daddy doesn't own you. He can't tell you how to live your life. You have to chose for yourself."

"Easy for _you_ to say, Willow. But in real life, MY life, it doesn't work that way. I was raised to 'fit in'. To be part of the social set. To marry well, and be set up for life. That's what expected of me, Willow. How I was raised."

"Then maybe that's what you should be doing," Willow raises to go.

Cordelia reaches out, grabbing her arm. "No, that's not what I want! Don't you get it? YOU! You're what I want! I want you! I love you!"

Willows stops moving, a little stunned. _Love me? Did she just say the L word to me? _

"Love me?" Willow looks more confused than ever.

"Yes, that's what this is all about, Willow. Don't you get that?" Cordelia pulls her back down. "I think I fell in love with you god, back almost the first day daddy hired you to tutor me. God, I was so god awful in everything. But you didn't think I was dumb or nothing. You just showed me ways to learn things. Made me see things differently. No one ever did that for me. " Cordelia gets a soft look in her face. "God, you got so happy when I'd show you a test I did well in. You made me _want_ to learn stuff. Seeing you happy, hearing you praise me? God I ate it up like cake!" She leans in a little, "And when I didn't get stuff the first time, you didn't like get all huffy and mad and make me feel like a dope. You just kept at it, showing me other ways to look at the problem, helping me understand it. It was like … it was wonderful. You were wonderful." She leans in closer. "Don't you see? God how could I not love you!"

"You were lonely, Cordelia," Willow shakes her head, trying to hide her own roiling emotions. "You just wanted a friend. You just wanted someone to talk to without them making you feel stupid. I get that, but it isn't love, Cordelia."

"I wish! God, I wish that were true," Cordelia almost start crying." But if that were all it was, why did I miss you so much when you left? Why did I ache, yeah, ache, when you weren't there? Why did I start thinking about wanting to be with you. Before you, Willow, I never thought about girls in that way. NEVER! But I started fantasizing about you, wondering what it would be like to kiss you, and touch you, and do more stuff with you…"

"Cor, baby," Willow reaches out, touching her hand, "it's not abnormal to have a crush on someone you admire…"

"No!" Cordelia exclaims, "it's not like that. Oh, I'm not saying I didn't crush on you, I did. But it grew deeper, more meaningful. I really wanted to be with you, all the time. It was the first time I ever even thought of going against Daddy, don't you know what that means? I saw us together, in the future, being together, being a couple," She grabs Willow's hands, "It mattered to me what you thought about me, what you saw when you looked at me!"

Willow just stares at her wide eyed.

"When you told me about you, how you were gay and all, I was so jazzed. Not only about you telling me, but that it was possible I had a chance with you. You didn't even notice how I started dressing sexier for our 'tutoring' sessions after that, did you? I can't tell you how many ways I schemed to show off for you, hoping against hope you'd take the bait. God, and you just went along, pretending like I was a woolly mammoth or something."

"Not notice?" Willow looks surprised. "You really thought I didn't notice? I thought you were making fun of me, teasing me. God it was hard not to want to throw you on the bed and rip those sexy clothes off you! You have _no_ idea how many times I went home with soaked panties. God, I lost a lot of very good pair of underwear over you, Mister!"

"Damn! Why didn't you? Why didn't you throw me on the bed and ravish me. I wanted it so bad, and when you ignored me, it hurt like hell! I thought you thought I was ugly or something!"

Willow laughs almost hysterically.

"It wasn't funny! God, I know I'm damned fine, and you're treating me like I'm a cow or something. It was … it really hurt. I thought you didn't give a shit about me … well, not until that night…" Cordy licks her lips at the memory. "I don't even know what changed, but suddenly we were kissing like crazy, then we fell on the bed, and you were tugging at my clothes, and I was doing my best to rip yours off…"

"That chemise."

"What?"

"That chemise you were wearing. The silk one? The one that barely covered your boobs. The very same boobs you saw fit NOT to wear a bra with. And then you came up behind me, and leaned over me, and I felt that silk, and those boobs, against my neck and head, and you reached around and god, I don't remember exactly why, but when you started rubbing against me it hit me like a ton of bricks. And god, I was so wet and wanting you I just lost all control…"

"THANK GOD AND HALLELUJAH THAT YOU FINALLY GOT I WANTED YOU!"

"Gee, Cor, think you could say that a little louder? I don't think they heard you in the back!" Willow is blushing.

The place has gone silent, and Cordelia looks around.

"Hey, don't you have better things to do than to listen to a private conversation?" Cordelia stares around the room, giving everyone the patented Queen C look. " Well?"

There's a pause, then conversation breaks out as things go back to normal.

_I gotta give it to her, sometimes the Queen C thing? Really handy!_

"That was embarrassing," Cordelia says in a low tone.

Willow seems to have regained her composure somewhat, and pulls a little away.

"Cordy, I'm not gonna say I don't have feelings for you. You know I do. And … look, I can see how you feel… felt about me, but why did you do that to me then? Didn't it occur to you I wouldn't like that?" She shakes her head, as if shaking off a dream. " You had to know it would hurt me, didn't you? There's no way you couldn't know."

"Weren't you listening to me? My dad…do you think he'd just accept his daughter being… well, feeling the way I felt? About you? Another girl? And not EVEN in the same social class. I'm sorry, but it's true. He'd… disown me, Will. He'd cut me off. Hell, he'd probably boot my ass to the curb. I know … I shouldn't…think of that… but I … you don't get it. I was raised with wealth, girl. I never knew anything else. I was scared. And worse? I was scared I was going to lose you, once the tutoring was over. I had to do something, something to keep you close. And If I thought if I got you in the popular crowd, my crowd in school, my dad would accept you hanging around. And that …was the only way… I didn't want to lose you, don't you get it?"

Willow lowers her head, trying to sort it out. Yeah, she already realized that Cordelia wasn't meaning to hurt her. Or at least, she bought that reason when Cordelia put it to her. But she didn't really believe that Cordelia could believe that what she was doing was for her benefit Not until this very moment. Not until Cordelia expressed how much she loved her.

_She really believes it. She really thinks what she did was …_

"Cor, I don't… I don't know how to make you understand how much that night hurt me. Strange as it is, I really believe you believe that you were doing me a favor, making me part of your group. And I can see you did it because you were scared, and were afraid to lose me. And in some sick way, that's almost sweet…" She shakes her head, "but, Cor, you took something precious from me that night. You took you away from me. Because up until that night, I really believed in you, I was willing to fight for you, I wanted to be with you so bad, I would've blown off my friends for you. You took the love I felt for you, and twisted it and cut it and hurt it so bad, it almost died. There were times, in the weeks after, I hated you so badly I wanted to kill you. It was so precious to me, so dear to me, so… " her tone grows angry and cold, "And you stomped on it and made it ugly. Don't you see that? Can't I make you see how bad what you did hurt me?"

Cordelia's eyes blink rapidly, and Willow can see her lip tremble.

"I didn't mean to, " Cordy's dark eyes fill with tears. "I didn't want to. I didn't know what else to do…."

And as hard hearted as she wanted to be, as cold as she feels she needs to be, she can't help feeling her heart soften a little. She reaches out, cupping Cordelia's face with her hands.

"Don't, don't cry, Cor," Willow says softly. "I know you weren't out to hurt me. I can't tell you how much that means… really."

"I'm evil! I'm sooo evil!" Cordelia crunches over, not wanting anyone to see her weep. "I don't want to be evil. I only want to love you…"

"Ah, Cor, I wish it were that easy, I really do," Willow says mournfully. "But … what am I to think when you start showering me with gifts? It's like you're trying to buy back what you threw away."

"I wasn't trying to buy you," Cordelia insists stubbornly, through her tears. "I wasn't. I just… you made me feel I had a chance with you, and I wanted to show you how much that meant."

"Gifts won't do it, Cor, don't you know that?" Willow says softly. " You can't buy my affections; you have to earn them."

"I'm trying. I really am," Cordy sniffles, pulling herself together. "The only way I know how."

"But it cheapens me. Like I'm some kind of whore, for sale if you buy me what I want…"

Cordelia looks at her horrified.

"God, no! Oh my god, no! That's not what I feel at all."

"Then, rather than buy me gifts, why not just tell me what you feel. Honestly, without the glitter?"

Cordelia looks at her as if she just said the sun is really the moon, and day is night.

"Why would you want me if I didn't do something for you?"

Now it's Willow's turn to feel stunned. _Oh my god, does she really believe that? Does she think so little of herself that she needs her money to get me? Or anyone?_

"Cordy, what if I just loved you, for you?"

For the briefest moment, there's a tiny glimmer in Cordelia's eyes. It's quickly extinguished in an ocean of cynicism.

"Oh sure," Cordelia says, the bitter edge to her voice plain, "You just love me for me. Yeah, like my parents love me for me, right? Or my friends at school. I mean, if I were poor and pimply and had bad hair, they'd adore me? Sure, Willow. Nice Fairytale. I'm so gonna believe that one."

Willow feels a big huge ache in her heart for this girl who's so bitter so young.

"That's the thing, Cor. If I love you, it's because _I love YOU. _ Not what you can do for me, not what you can give me, but just because you're you. You have to believe that's what it's all about."

"Why should I? Why should I take that risk?" Cordelia complains. "Why should I put my heart out there, with nothing else, only for you to decide one day you changed your mind, and you don't want me anymore."

"That's a risk you have to take, Cor," Willow says softly. "You've got to trust that I'm going to be there, without bribes and favors and stuff. I'm not going to be your next play toy. I won't be your next Harmony."

Cordelia pulls away, looking surprised and offended.

"What about Harmony? She's just my friend! There's nothing…"

"Cor? Lying? Not a good way to build trust. It's pretty much an open secret about you and her. Neither of you are good at the subtle." Willow smiles.

"That's… absurd! Me and Harmony…" Cordelia waves it off like a bad smell.

"Really? What about those designer sweaters she's always wearing? She can't afford those. Or that necklace, the diamond drop; there's now way she could buy that herself. But even more than that? Is the almost bulldog devotion she shows you. Anyone gets close to you, and they can almost see the green seeping out of her pores. The way she looks at you when she thinks no one's looking. Don't tell me there's nothing there."

"How? How do you…"

"Please, Cor. Do you think you're the only girl into girls on your squad? I've dated a couple of them. And they love to gossip."

"On my team, you mean…?"

"Oh yeah. Geeze, two are madly in lust with you. They're just waiting for you to dump Harm to step up to the plate, so to speak."

"Damn!" Cordelia laughs. "But why hasn't anyone said anything?"

"Oh come on, you're the Queen C. Think anyone's gonna put it in your face? They know they'd live til the end of the school day. Maybe. If they were lucky."

Cordelia chuckles in wonder. Then she stops, and frowns. Her face hardens a little.

"So, you want me to give her up, right? On the chance maybe you'll be with me?" Cordelia frowns. "How's that fair?"

"How's it fair what you did to me, Cor?" Willow responds. "I don't care if you keep Harmony as a friend. Why you would, I can't fathom. But I don't share. I told you that all along. I don't share. If you want to be with me, you stop sleeping with her. That's a deal breaker."

"Why're you being so mean?" Cordelia whines a little. _Stop it! Chases don't whine!_ "Why should I have to do this?"

"Mean?"

"You don't take my gifts, you say I have to give up Harmony, you won't promise to be with me, you expect me to give up everything just to be with you!"

"Cor, it's your decision. I'm not forcing you to do anything. You can walk away from here, and we'll forget this ever happened," Willow says, quietly but firmly, "but if you want me, you have to take me as I am. Not as a clone of you, not as one of the 'right' crowd. Just me. And, I'll take you just as you are. I won't ask you to come out for me, not yet. I won't make you stop being Queen C. At least, not in public. But I'm not loving Queen C, and when were alone together, I want Cordelia… Cordy, the girl I fell in love with. Not the image you've created." She pats Cordelia's hand. "It's up to you, Cor."

"I'm scared," Cordelia admits in a very low voice, almost a whisper. "I don't know what to do. I always know what to do, but I don't know what to do. It's scary, not knowing. I don't know what to feel, or even what you feel." She looks into Willow's eyes. "Do you love me?"

"I told you, Cordy, I have feelings for you," Willow says, "If you'd asked me that before that party, I would've told you yes without hesitation. Now, it's different. But I have feelings for you. Where they're going to go, I don't know. I can't promise. But like I said, you have to take the risk. I did, now it's your turn."

"I need something, Will," Cordelia looks like she's going to break. "At least, tell me this. Do you think you could love me again? Someday?"

Willow smiles, her eyes soft and warm.

"Let me answer that with this."

TBC.


	16. Chapter 16

Cont.

Before Cordelia can pull away, Willow cups her face. She leans up and over the table, and lowers her lips to Cordelia's, kissing her warmly and softly. Cordelia at first struggles a little, then sighs, her hands running up over Willow's arms and around her neck. The kiss lingers, and when they break, their foreheads are touching, and they're looking deeply into each other's eyes.

"Wow," Cordelia sighs.

Willow smiles, and kisses the tip of her nose. Cordelia giggles.

"Do you think maybe we could go out sometime?" Cordelia eyes are almost begging Willow.

"I'd like that. A lot," Willow smiles.

"When?" Cordelia asks, "Friday?"

"Don't you have a game Friday?"

"Not this Friday I don't" Cordelia grins.

"Cor? Won't it, I mean, I know you have your social thing to worry about. Won't going out with me kind of …"

"Oh," Cordelia frowns.

"I know a place, where no one's going to care."

"Really?"

"Yeah, trust me. It's not the Bronze. You won't see your gang there. It's nice little place, out of the way, really romantic…" Willow looks at her .

"That sounds lovely…" Cordelia suddenly snaps back. _Hold on here! Don't get too eager, and blow the deal!_ "I mean, that sounds ok, you know?"

Willow just smiles at her.

"Ok," Cordelia says softly, biting her bottom lip. "Friday? Around 8?"

"Sure, sounds good to me," Willow smiles. She stands up, ready to leave.

"What about this stuff?" Cordelia looks at the box in her lap. "I mean, what am I gonna do with this stuff?"

"Uhhh…" Willow looks in the box, and falls in love with the leather coat again. _God, it's soft as butter and feels so nice…_ "… you really bought it cuz you thought I'd like it? No strings."

"No strings," Cordy assures her, getting some confidence back. "C'mon, at least put on the coat. Let me see if it looks as good as I thought it would when I bought it for you."

"Well, I really shouldn't," Translation: God, I really want to!

" Come on, please? For me?"

"Well, I guess it can't hurt to just wear it once," Willow blurts out, "I mean…"

"Sure, here. Let me help you!" Cordelia is up, holding the coat.

Willow slips it on. _God it feels better than I remember…_

"Oh, man, Will. It's so you!" Cordelia gushes. "I mean, even if I hadn't bought it, it's just you!"

"You really think so?" Willow twirls this way, then that, showing it off. "It doesn't make me look … you know?"

"It's perfect! Trust me, Will. When it comes to clothes, I'm like the expert," Cordelia shakes her head. "It's too bad you're not going to keep it. I mean, it would be perfect on our date Friday night…"

"You know, you're right. And you just bought it cuz you thought I'd like it, right?"

"Of course, baby. And you know what'll go perfect with that?" She holds out the box with the diamond stud earrings. "I mean, you know I'm right, right?"

_I shouldn't, I shouldn't, _ Willow struggles, then reaches for the box, _Ok, I'm weak. I'm a girl, I like looking good, shoot me!_

Cordelia smiles, feeling 'in control' again. You can almost see the cat in her as she sidles over to Willow, and slips an arm around her shoulder.

"You look so hot in that…" Cordelia breathes. Before Willow can stop her, she lays a long, wet kiss on her.

Willow stands there, at first her hands shaking a little, as if they want to push Cordelia away. Then she gives into the kiss, letting Cordelia kiss her. Then, she kisses back, quite warmly.

"Ok, Wow," Willow says, her eyes still closed, her lips wanting another kiss. Her eyes flutter open.

Cordelia smiles, feeling the shift in power. Then she does something entirely not like her. She doesn't take advantage of it.

"Hey, gotta love the kisses. You're some kisser," Cordelia smiles and winks at her. She changes the subject. "So, what's the name of this place we're going to Friday night?"

"It's called The Butterfly Heart."

_I've heard that name before. But where?_

"Don't I know that place?" Cordelia looks unsure.

"I kind of doubt it, Cor," Willow can't help chuckling.

"What?"

"There's a catch, Cor. It's a lesbian bar."

"Oh… OH!" Cordelia's eyes go wide. "I don't know, I mean, I…"

"Cordy? It's ok, no one will hit on you. You'll be with me," Willow has to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Don't worry. I'll protect you from the mean old lesbians."

"Kinda dumb, huh?" Cordelia feels almost as foolish as her words. She's blushing lightly.

_God, she's so beautiful when she doesn't try to be the "Queen" so hard_, Willow thinks.

"Yeah, kinda dumb," Willow agrees. "Look, it's not like a really rowdy place. The women are pretty middle class in there. And ummm… it's kinda nice to go somewhere where you don't have to worry about some guy hitting on you all night, don't you think? Especially when all you want to do is dance?"

"I guess," Cordelia says doubtfully. She likes being the center of attention.

"Don't worry, baby," Willow strokes her cheek, which causes Cordelia a major tingle storm. "Pretty as you are? All eyes are going to be on you." It's as if Willow read her mind. "They'll be all lusty, but they won't do anything… and they won't tell."

Cordelia's hand unconsciously goes to her hair. _She thinks I'm beautiful? I'm hoping there are some lusty feelings behind that! Oh heck, I'll take lusty feelings. Lusty is good, right?_

"Well, if you think it's cool, then I guess it's cool," Cordelia says agreeably.

"It's cool, trust me."

"I do," Cordy smiles. She looks at her watch. "Oh my god! Look at the time! I gotta get home, Daddy will be furious…"

Still , she lingers a little, looking at Willow in the coat, and lusting a little. She runs her fingertips lightly up and down her arm.

"So, eight-ish then?"

"Uh huh."

Cool, well… bye, gotta motor." Cordelia starts off, then stops. She looks over her shoulder. "You know, taking me there might be a mistake, you know."

"What?"

"Well, I'll only have eyes for you. But I can't help where other eyes might be looking." She does a quick hip check." I mean, I can't keep other women from flirting with me, you know." She starts to walk out, then stops. " you can't hate me for being beautiful. Ta Ta now." She walks out, getting a little of her own back.

Willow just stands there, watching her go.

_How does she do that?_

5

"Faith, can I see you in the office, please?"

Faith, who had barely tied on her apron, starting her shift, looks down at the end of the bar. There she sees Mike, looking a little grim.

_Well, that doesn't look good? What's up with him?_

"Yeah, moment, Mike. Just got here. Let me get out this drink order…"

"Ok, five minutes. Jack will cover for you."

Faith poured the order, all the time what was up. _Not like I'm late. I was supposed to be off today, they called me in…_

Her mind goes back to the hearing, and she winces thinking about standing there like an idiot, as they read their decision.

It hadn't been good. She'd been expelled. By a vote of 3 to 2. _ Gee, I wonder who voted against me? NOT! _ She hadn't stuck around to hear more than their decision; she'd been in no mood for lectures from that bunch of losers.

Making her way to her bike, Faith thought about what she was going to say to the others.

_Man, not loving this. Yeah, we all _knew_ that this was probably going to happen, but now that it's happened, it's different. I really don't want to see 'the look' on their faces. That look you get when someone you care about gets run over by the bus called life. I really hate that look._

"Hey, guys, well, it didn't go well, but I'm gonna be great, you know?" She says out loud as she's walking along. "Oh, no, who cares, I mean, really? There are other schools. I'll just get into another. No big. Sure, sure, I'm fine, really…"

She was interrupted in her practice when her cell rang.

"Hello? Oh, Jack…what's up? What? Tonight? But, I had… I see… yeah… sorry to hear about Bill. Is he ok? Broke his arm. That musta been a nasty accident…yeah, I get it… sure, I'll fill in for tonight. When? Oh… well, I was…no, never mind…I'll be there… sure…no prob. Seeya soon."

Faith stood there a moment, staring into space.

_Maybe this is a good thing, going to work. Really wasn't looking forward to just dropping the news on them. At least I can chill out a little, before I gotta go home and tell them the news for real. I just couldn't ruin it for them. Not yet, anyway._

Faith pushed the speed dial button on her phone for Joyce.

"Hey, babe."

"Faith! Hi! How're you doing? How'd it go? When're you going to be home."

"That's the thing," Faith evades the other questions. "I just got a call from Jack. One of the other bartenders had an accident, and he needs someone to cover… so, I won't be home tonight like planned…"

"Oh? The girls are going to be so disappointed," Joyce said, somewhat disappointed herself. "Couldn't they get anyone else? I mean, the girls really planned a nice dinner for you. They were even going to actually cook things. I know, it's radical, but still. They were really looking forward to this…"

"I know, I'm sorry. But can't be helped. Maybe we could do it another time or something."

"Faith, is everything ok? You sound a little off."

"Ok, well, I gotta spend my evening serving up drunks, instead of being with my honey. Yeah, I'm feeling a little off."

"Nothing more?" Joyce had a feeling.

"Nope, nothing…"

"Did they tell you anything? Do you know?"

Faith paused a fraction of a second. _God, I can't tell her like this, over the phone!_

"No, nothing. Not yet. Soon."

"Ok, honey," Joyce's tone was a little subdued. "When can we expect you?"

"Dunno. Late. Don't wait up, ok?"

"Don't you want me to …"

"It's cool. No need to wait up. I'll be tired after a shift at that place."

"Ok, baby. Well, if I'm up, I'm up. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, later."

"Love you, Faith."

"Love you too," Faith said. _Yeah, and so honest with her too. Nice one, Faith._

"Bye, hon."

"Bye," Faith hung up.

Sighing a little, feeling like she just lied to Joyce, she made her way to the bar.

Finishing the order, Faith sees Jack Connor come behind the bar. He, along with Mike, co-owns the University Pub.

He heads for the sink, to wash some glasses.

"Hey, Jack," Faith smiles.

"Faith, how are ya?" Jack asks, drying the glasses. "Hear from the school yet?"

Faith shrugs. "Yeah. Got good new and bad news . Which you want first?"

"I'm guessing, probably the bad new, Faith." Jack isn't smiling.

"Got my ass booted. They decided today. Guess that's the end of that."

"Ok… so, what's the good news?"

"Well, remember that day shift you had problems covering. Guess I can take that one now."

Jack chuckles, and turns, bringing the glasses to the front. "You're something, Irish. But I'm thinking I'll be keeping you on nights. Better tips, and the customers love ya."

"Yeah, except the Alpha Mu boys."

"Well, they're pretty much a spoiled lot of rich kids with too much money and too few brains. Frankly, I say good riddance to the lot."

"Yeah, but what does Mike say?" She hits her head. "Mike! Dammit, he wanted to talk to me. Any idea what's that about?"

"Ah, it's Mike. Always got a bug up that rear of his. Who knows?"

"He's not mad about that party still, is he?"

"No, heck no. I straightened him out on that."

"Ok, cool. Are the checks in?"

"Better be. Picked them up from the bank myself."

"Great, I can use the money."

"Yeah, well, there's still that offer open, girlie," Jack winks.

"Yeah, and if I were straight, I might take you up on that," She punches him lightly on the arm.

He of course makes a melodrama of it. " You're gonna kill me one of these days, girl!" He moans as if she belted him.

"You wuss. God, and you want me to do the horizontal bop with you? I'd kill you." She laughs, walking out from behind the bar.

"Yeah, but I'd be smilin' in my coffin."

Faith, still chuckling, makes her way to the office. It's in the back, a converted bit of the storeroom. She knocks, and Mike, on the phone, waves her in.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's a one time thing. I promise you, it's not gonna happen again." He shakes his head. "No, it'll be someone else. Yes, I promise." He looks at Faith, and indicates she should take a seat. " A discount? How? I'm already giving you cost on the liquor… no, I understand, yes, I know that… ok, ok, we'll work something out. Yes. Do we have a deal? What? What do you mean you have to put it to the committee. We've… ok, I get it. Ok… right… bye." He hangs up the phone, none too pleased. "Yes, what can I do for you, Faith?"

"Ok, Mike, what's the joke?" Faith half grins. "You asked me to come back here?"

"I did?" He looks puzzled for a second, then a frown appears on his face. He's still thinking about the call. "Yeah, I need to talk to you, Faith. Sorry, just, that call is killing me. A long time catering client is threatening to drop us. Have any idea why?" He looks at her, head cocked.

"He joined AA?" Faith jokes, shrugging.

"Not hardly. Thing is, a lot of customers are doing that, lately, ever since that little incident at the Alpha Mu house…"

"Hey, wait. Mike, now I explained that to you. I couldn't just walk away and let them…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know," Mike says, but he doesn't seem to be believing his own words. "They were attacking the girl, and you had to rush to the rescue. Just wondering, why couldn't you have waited for the cops to show up?"

"Oh, right, and the girl gets gang banged in the meantime?" Faith says, a little steamed. "This wasn't some horny college guy, Mike. It was a group, and I don't think they wanted to play cards with her."

"Still, you're there to work, Faith, not make with the heroics. Unfortunately, with that, and the Alpha Mu's dropping us, word has spread around campus. No one seems to want us anymore. Well, unless I give them a discount I wouldn't give my mother. And even then, it's " Well, maybe…"

"I'm sorry, Mike, but the situation didn't leave me with a lot of choices. I couldn't let that happen, " She looks at Mike, "What if it had been your daughter, Mike. What then?"

"My daughter wouldn't get herself in that position like some common…"

"Don't finish that sentence, Mike. Really, just don't."

Mike stares at her for a moment, then stands out of his chair. He starts to pace behind his desk.

"Well, Faith, you said you didn't have a lot of choices, and you haven't left me a lot, either. The business, well, we could make that up, somewhere else. And the fact the portable, custom built bar got ripped off… that's insured, " he turns to her,"… but that isn't the end of it. The Fraternity is threatening to sue us. They National Chapter had their local legal muscle give us a call, tell us they weren't happy with the damage caused by one of our employees…" He looks at Faith, frowning,"… that that the Fraternity is ready to file suit."

"That's bogus, Jack. I'll go into court and testify as to what the 'little darlings' were up to. I'm pretty sure they…"

"Ah, that's just it, it's not going to court. I'm settling out of court."

"Why? They were the bad guys, not you …"

"Faith, we do ok here, but we're not making money hand over fist. I can't afford the legal fees, much less the loss of business and the rest that'll come if this suit goes to trial. I got them to reduce the amount they want, and it's over."

Faith is getting a funny feeling. Really funny. Funny as if she looked behind her, she'd see a shiv sticking out of her back.

"Why're you telling me all this, Mike?" She asks, suspiciously.

"Well, there's the problem, you see, Faith. Part of the deal is that I have to let you go…"

"WHAT?"

"… otherwise, they're taking this to court, and damn, they could win this. I could lose the bar…"

"So, you're firing me? For doing the right thing?" Faith wonders why this feeling of nausea in her stomach feels so familiar. _OH yeah, same feeling I had when they kicked me out of school. _

"I have no choice. I can't afford a lawsuit, and I can't afford to lose this bar. I like you, Faith, I really do, but this business has to come first. You have to see that."

"Oh yeah," Faith says, voice less than honey, "I see that. That, and the big yellow stripe runnin' down your back. God, we did nothing wrong, and yet some rich bitch spoiled brats can come along, almost rape someone, and when someone stops them? They cry foul, and screw everyone around them, " She feels her Irish rising. "So, did Jack know about this?"

"He knows about out troubles, yeah," Mike counters.

"You…" She just shakes her head. Bastard is too sweet a name to call the prick standing in front of her.

"I have your final check here… and I'll be happy to give you a reference…"

Faith strides over to Mike, and rips the check out of his hand.

"I'll take that, I earned it and then some…" She glares at him. "As for the reference… you know where you can stuff that one, asshole!"

Without another word, she storms out of the office, slamming the door behind her.

_Stupid, fat weasely prick. But he's not the worst. Oh no, Jack that prick bastard. Acting like my friend. Acting like he wasn't gonna fire my ass…_

Faith stands in the hall, fuming. The longer she stands there, the hotter she gets.

_Fuck. Just get me outta this shit hole… yesterday!_

Faith strides angrily out through the curtains.

Jack is quick to realize something is wrong with Faith.

"Faith, where you going? I thought you were tending bar tonight…"

Faith stops, and turns to him, staring him down.

"Faith?"

She walks over to the bar, and leans on it, almost seeming casual.

"Nice one, Jack. You had me really convinced, ya know?" Her eyes narrow dangerously. "Really pisses me off, thinking how I considered you were a friend."

"Faith, what're you talking about?"

"Gimme a break, ok, Jack? Don't stand there and pretend you don't know what's going on, you back stabbing bastard! I trusted you, and … oh, screw you!"

She looks at the bar, seeing a line of drinks sitting there, waiting for service. She sweeps her arm across the bar, tossing them back against the rear wall of the bar.

"Faith, what the hell? Why'd you do that?" Jack looks shocked and upset.

"Jam it, asshole," Faith growls at him. She reaches in her pocket, and pulls out the check Mike gave her. "Here, take it outta this."

She flings the check at him, and turns to go.

"Faith, stop," Jack puts his hand on her arm. "Don't leave…"

Faith shakes her arm, and growls.

"I don't work for you anymore, prick. So keep your fat, hairy hands off my arm."

Without another word, she strides out of the bar, pushing people out of her way as she exits.

"Doesn't work for…" Jack looks at the mess behind the bar, then at the door Faith just exited, then back at the back.

"MIKE!" He roars, " GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE!"

"I'm a fucking idiot!"

Faith is sitting across the saddle of her bike, parked in front and to the side of the Tastee-Mart. On the saddle next to her are the remains of the six-pack she bought. At her feet, crushed, are the two beers she already drank.

She downs another large swallow of beer, and leans back, letting out a long, hard breath.

"Why the fuck did I get so fucking mad back there? Gawd, I know it wasn't Mike's fault. Or Jack's. Shit, just burn your bridges even before you get there to cross 'em, eh, Faith? Gawd, your so smart, right? That's why you're in college. Oh, wait, no! You're NOT in college! Right!"

She takes another long pull on the can, and realizing it's empty, crushes it and drops it by the bike. She sits there, slumped over a little.

"Well, now what, stupid? No school, no job. Really sweet. And Ya know Jack and Mike are gonna be singing your praises, way you left," She shakes her head, frowning. "Gawd, do you even use the brains you were born with, Faith McKerrigan? Ya mighta gotten them to give you a recommend or something, if you hadn't let your stupid Southie Irish temper get the better of ya. Fine fat lotta good you are, ya dumb ass!"

She reaches over, and grabbing another can off the ring tree, pops it and takes a swallow.

"What a fucking, fucked up day! First, getting my ass booted from school. Man, and worse, the looks on the faces of the pansy, Cronenberg, and his little partner in crime, Raimi. Gawd, I would've loved to put my fist in those smirks they gave me. And that other prick… whatsisface? Oh yeah, Carpenter, all full of the phony assed sympathy. But I know that prick was the deciding vote against me. I know Chief Romero and Dean Landis voted for me. Gawd… I'd like to take those three prissy pansies, and shove a nightstick up their collective asses, you betcha. See how they like being raped. Shit…" She takes another swallow. "… shit, they probably woulda loved it. Begged for more, I'm bettin'. The pricks."

She thrusts out her foot, to kick at the cans lying by the bike, and nearly slips off her saddle. She laughs at herself.

"That's it, grace. Fall off the horse, you stupid drunken bitch. Fuck, I only had what… " she counts the cans on the ground, and shakes the one in her hand. "… 3 ½ beers. Fuck, that shouldn't be hittin' me so … aw, screw it, who cares… Hey, Joyce, baby? Aren't ya glad ya hooked up with me now, huh? Look at me! Kicked outta school, ass fired and half drunk. Aint I swell to have around, babe?" She slumps back on the saddle, her heel kicking against the tailpipe. "Loser, babe. Look it up, you'll see you're truly starin' back at ya. Loser. No good for nothing… never was…" she pounds her fist down on her seat. "Not fucking fair, baby. They ganged up on me. Those fucking never did a day's work in their lives frat brats, those stupid professors, all them… not fucking FAIR!"

"Hey!"

The Manager of the Tastee-Mart sticks his head out of the door, frowning.

"What you want?" Faith glares at him.

"What's your problem? Why're you making a ruckus out here. You're not supposed to be drinking out here. Get lost, or I'm gonna …"

"I'm going, asshole. Don't have a Angus, ok?"

"You get outta here! I don't need your kind hanging around here, messing up the place. You hear me! Get outta here!"

Faith stares at him, then she takes the half empty can of beer, and chucks it at his head. The manager turns pale, and only gets his back inside just before the can hits the door.

Faith laughs, swinging her leg over her bike.

"Did you hear me, moron? I said, I'm leaving."

She guns the bike, just as the manager ducks his head out again.

"Go on, go! I've called the police, you crazy person! Don't ever come back here, understand?"

"Wasn't planning on comin' back here, dumb ass!" She laughs, turning the bike out. She rides to the street, and stops to look, before pulling out.

"Whatta joke. Big, Fat, stupid joke!"

She roars out of the lot, turning left and disappearing down the street.

6

Faith cuts the motor to her bike before reaching home, hoping the momentum will carry her up the drive quietly.

She doesn't want to face anyone inside right now. She just wants to slip in and quietly slip into bed. Fall asleep and let this day go away.

She guides the bike up beside Joyce's SUV, and quietly parks it, slipping off and ducking around the truck. She looks into the front windows.

_Whew, no lights. Everybody's asleep. I might just pull this off, after all._

She walks up the walk towards the front door. Pulling her keys, she brings them up to open the front door, only to have them slip out of her fingers, and go flying against the door. They clatter down the screen and hit the porch, bouncing away.

_Oh, very nice, Faith. Clumsy much? Shit!_

Getting down on her hands and knees, she looks around by the door. She finally spots them under the window planter box. _Great going, Faith. I think you better get a day job. This burglary thing isn't working out so well for you!_

Standing up, she opens the door and quietly slips inside, shutting the door silently behind her.

She stands in the vestibule for a moment, listening. _Whew, no one heard that. Thank god! _

_Ok, almost there. Just a few more feet, and you've reached the door and viola, you're safe._ She walks through the dining room, making her way to the kitchen. She doesn't even see the figure sitting at the table, in the shadows, waiting.

"Faith?" the voice is quiet, but jars her to a sudden stop.

The lights in the dining room go on, and Joyce is standing there, looking concerned.

"Hey, baby," Faith plasters on a smile. _Ok, just act normal, don't let her see how weave, girl. _"Hi ! How come you're not in bed? I mean, it's kinda late, right?"

"It's …" Joyce looks at her watch,"… 2:36 in the morning. Where've you been?" Joyce walks towards her. "I've been very worried about you."

"Huh? What? I've been working. I called you, remember?" Faith steps back a bit, not wanting Joyce to smell her breath. "Long night, sorry."

Joyce just stands there, looking at her. She's frowning.

"What?"

"I had a phone call earlier. From a Jack Connor. Says he owns the bar where you work. He was looking for you, and was worried. He said you left suddenly, really upset. This was about 8 p.m. or so."

_Shit, those guys never quit screwin' me, do they?_

"Look, Joyce, it's not a big, just … I'm really too tired to go over this tonight, can we do it in the morning?"

"It _is_ the morning, Faith. I've been sitting here over 6 hours, worried to death about you. I can't even call the police, because I don't want the girls to worry too. I told them you were working late, so I could get them to go to bed. They really care about you too, Faith. You can't just go off by yourself when you feel like, don't you see that?"

"Hey! I didn't ask them to care! I'm just the friendly boarder here, Joyce, remember?" Faith moves towards the kitchen. "I'm paying rent; I don't have to account to no one where I am or what I'm doing." She waves a hand. "This is pointless, you know? I'm going to bed…"

"What about me? I love you, or did you forget that? Don't you think I'm going to be worried when you disappear for hours? How do I know you didn't get hurt or in an accident or something. Don't you think I care about that?"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't, Joyce," Faith walks to the cellar door.

Joyce strides over to the door, blocking Faith's way. " Oh no you don't! You don't just walk away from this after making me crazy with worry. Just who do you think you are? Where have you been? What have you been doing? You're not going anywhere til I get some answers!"

"I told ya, Joyce, I don't want to talk about this, so move."

"Have you been drinking?" Joyce asks, catching a whiff of her breath. "Have you been at some club or something getting drunk? Or maybe…?"

"What?" Faith asks, not liking that implication. "What?"

"Maybe you've been with someone else," Joyce tries to smell Faith, see if she can smell the scent of another woman on her. "Maybe you're tired of me, or don't want to be tied down, or something. Maybe you're scared I'm going to dump all my problems on you. Maybe I'm too goddamn old for you…"

"Ok, that's totally nuts, Joyce," Faith stares at her like she's gone crazy.

"Is it? Is it really? How do I know that? You're young, you're attractive. My god, your hotter than a firecracker. It's natural you want some sexy girl with you. Not some old mom with sagging breasts and stretch marks and too much butt … ummmmphhhh!"

Faith pins Joyce to the door, covering her mouth with her own, forcing her tongue into Joyce's. Her hands roam over Joyce, touching and squeezing.

Joyce struggles a little at first, then the heat overtakes her and she goes quiet, giving into the feelings Faith is building in her.

"Does that feel like I want someone else, you idiot?" Faith says huskily, her own libido revving like a race car. "I crossed the country to be with you. Why the hell would I want or need anyone else?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just… when you just went missing, without a word, I didn't know what to think. I was just worried about you. Then you walked in, acting like everything is normal, and … I got scared." She feels Faith pull away a little, and uses the opportunity to slip out from under. Joyce straightens herself up, trying to rescue any dignity she has left. "After the last couple of weeks, with everything going on and the tension… I just panicked a little…"

She feels a hand on her shoulder, pulling her back a bit. Then an arm slips around her waist. Faith lays her head on her shoulder, her cheek touching Joyce's.

"You're what I want. All that I want," Faith says softly, turning her head a little and pressing the edge of her lips against Joyce's cheek. Her hand gently rubs over Joyce's tummy. "Don't ever forget that." She releases Joyce, then turns to go downstairs. "I just needed a little time alone," she frowns a little. "I didn't think it out, and I'm sorry I scared you. Really."

"It's ok," Joyce says, "I just was worried something bad happened to you, that you might be hurt or …"

"I promise, I won't do it again. Ok?"

"Yes, ok." Joyce looks at her face, trying to suss out her mood. "If something was bothering you, I just wish you'd come home and talked to me about it, is all, rather than running off…"

"Look, Joyce. Can we talk about this tomorrow? It's been a crappy day, I've had a beer or two, and I'd really rather just sleep…"

"Faith, please, we need to talk. You sounded so odd on the phone. Something happened, didn't it? Something you're not telling me," Joyce lays her hand on Faith's arm. "How can I help you if you don't tell me what's going on, Faith?"

"Can't this wait, Joyce, until the morning… I really need to get some sleep…"

"Ok, I understand," Joyce says, walking over towards the dining room. "I'll just wait up all night. I mean, going to bed would be a waste of time. I'll be too worried to go to sleep. Might as well sit up and have some tea while I'm thinking up all sorts of absurd scenarios about what made you do it…"

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Faith sighs deeply.

"Sorry, guess it's the mom in me coming out. When someone I love hurts, I can't just pretend like it isn't happening."

"Ok, ok," Faith gives up, knowing she's lost. "Is there any coffee?"

Upstairs, Buffy is lying awake in her bed. Her eyes are wide open, and she's staring at the moonlight coming in through her window.

She's been hearing the voices downstairs, and is worried. She can't make out the words, but the tones don't sound right.

It sounds like her mother and Faith are arguing. Just like her dad and mom used to argue.

She feels that awful sick feeling in her stomach; just like when her dad and mom argued.

_It's about that night. At the college. I know it is. Faith's been worried for the last two weeks about that hearing, and it happened today. Oh god, it must not be good, they don't sound happy at all. God, why? Why couldn't you give her a break? Me a break? I know this is all my fault. _

_Mom's been so relaxed, ever since Faith moved in. Maybe they're really becoming friends. That would be so cool. Mom needs something like that, and that would mean Faith might stick around.. That would be totally cool. But…_

She listens some more, hearing the voices raise up at times.

_They're fighting. And it's probably about me. Damn!_

Buffy sits up. She's debating on going downstairs to eavesdrop. _ No, I shouldn't. It's private, right? I should… wait a minute, it's about me. I should know… I have to know… I gotta fix this, and I won't know how unless I know…_

Slipping out of her bed, she quietly makes her way across her room, being very careful not to make any noise. She looks out her door, and seeing the coast clear, heads down the hall.

She quietly tip- toes down the stair, being careful of the third step down, which squeaks. She moves behind the stairs, squatting by the small phone table there. She doesn't want to be seen, in case someone comes out of the dining room.

She settles down to listen.

A gloom has settled over the two women, each sitting at an end of the dining room table. Faith is staring down at her coffee; Joyce, slightly pale, is looking at her.

"They expelled you?" Joyce sounds almost offended. "How could they do that? Don't you have any rights?"

"I guess when the Fraternity can field a bunch of 'witnesses' , while I can't even come up with one, they figure I'm probably guilty." Faith shrugs, still staring at her coffee. "I'm just a student, they're like a national organization. Who do you believe, huh?"

" I don't understand that. Don't they even care that a girl might've gotten raped? What kind of school is that, anyway?"

"They, I mean, the Frat boys? … they didn't put it that way. They said it was all innocent fun, that the girl was playing along, and I just went off like some psycho on them. They even hinted that it was because I didn't want to haul up a keg of beer to the room next door. In short, they made it look like I just busted in on their little party, and went off on them for no reason."

"That's absurd! Didn't they see how absurd that is? Why would they even think that?"

"Well, Joyce, I wasn't exactly able to walk right in and walk out with Buffy. I had to get her away from them, and they didn't like that one bit. I had to knock a few heads around… and they just spun that into me being some kind of crazy bitch."

"You never told me you had to fight a bunch of guys! My god, Faith, you could've been killed. Did they hurt you?"

"Those pansies? Hell no… well, one was trying to get all brave and stuff, but I kind of … ok, I decked him. But I didn't start it, Joyce, honest. I was just trying to get me and Buffy out in one piece, is all." She frowns a little. "Maybe I didn't do my best thinking, you know? Maybe I shoulda tried to stall them somehow til the police showed up. But… I didn't want to take a chance on their good behavior, if you follow me."

"That sounds like self defense. Didn't you explain it to them, what happened?"

"God yes, Joyce!" Faith snaps, irritably. Then she sighs, and shakes her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. But I tried that. It fell on deaf ears, mostly."

"Still, I can't see them expelling you. I mean, surely they could've done something else…"

"I dunno, Joyce. I suspect once those Frat boys smelled blood… my blood, they wanted to really stick it to me. I suspect they had their legal eagles write the university threatening some kind of lawsuit or something if they didn't get rid of me. I know they pulled that stunt elsewhere."

"What're you talking about?"

"The bar, Joyce. That's why I stormed out of the bar. They fired me. Well, to be exact, Mike fired me. But Jack had to know. They called me in, and fired me! Because those lousy creeps at Alpha Mu threatened to sue them." Faith grins cynically. "It was me, or the lawsuit goes forward. Guess which they chose."

"Oh Faith," Joyce has a pained expression on her face.

"Yeah, Joyce. When I screw up? I don't do it halfsies. I do it right." Faith waves her hand, as if to say what else do you expect?

"Faith. Don't even. You can't think this is your fault…"

"Isn't it, Joyce? Let's review my life, shall we? Faith gives a damn, Faith sticks her nose in, Faith screws it up. I oughta know by now to not get myself in this shit, but I keep doing it. I'm a dumb asshole, Joyce, who just don't know no better, ya know? Who the hell do I think I am, that I can fix peoples problems? Dr. Phil? Oprah? I'm a fuck up, Joyce. Always been, always will be. You got stuck with a real lemon here."

"Faith McKerrigan, that's rubbish."

"It's not rubbish, Joyce! I can't get my life on track. I try, and I think I'm gonna really make something of it this time, but every goddamn time it blows up in my face. I don't know what to do. I been trying to make something of myself, do something with myself, ever since my parents kicked my ass to the curb. Every time , I pick the stupid choice, and I keep falling further and further in the hole. I'm hopeless, Joyce, a born fuck up!"

"Faith! I won't listen to that kind of nonsense!"

"Well, you better damn well listen, Joyce, because this concerns you too. What do you think it's gonna be like, with me around here? I mean, come on, lets get real here! I can't do shit, I can't even keep a lousy bartending job! What's so hard about that? Mix the drinks, serve the customer, and take his money. Occasionally, listen to the crap they spew out. Not a big deal, but I can't even do that right! I can't do anything right!"

"You saved my daughter. Was that wrong? I don't think so! She could've been scarred for life, " Joyce's voice rises, "Do you think most people would've done what you did? I know they wouldn't. Most would've turned their back, figuring it wasn't any of their business. But you threw yourself into it, getting her out of there, and keeping her safe. And you didn't even know it was MY daughter. You didn't care. You just thought of not letting those creeps hurt her, and you didn't care what happened to you!" There are tears standing in Joyce's eyes. "How proud do you think that makes me? Never mind for a moment it was Buffy, you cared enough to risk your life for another person. That makes you a hero in my book, Faith McKerrigan!"

"That and 4 bucks will get you a large latte at Starbuck's, Joyce," Faith shakes her head. "I was a fool."

"What?" Joyce is a little shocked.

"Not about what I did. That was the right thing to do. No, I mean, after. I shoulda been smarter. I shoulda know those brat boys would come after me. I shoulda never trusted those … morons at school. I really thought Dean Landis was pulling for me. I thought she'd keep my ass from getting fried. I'm a total dope for trusting them, figuring they'd believe me. I mean, Dean Landis even told me they'd been in trouble before. I figured, hooray, they'll boot them off campus. Instead, I got the boot, and they're sitting there on their fat asses laughing at the stupid monkey girl!"

"Do you really think that, Faith?"

"God, I don't have a clue what to think. I mean, I'm a kid, Joyce, let's face it. I'm trying to be a grown up , and I'm just a dumb, know nothing kid. What am I even DOING here, anyway? What do I know about shit? I'm acting like an adult, and I'm totally lost here. God, I'm pretending like I got it wrapped, and all the time I'm balancing on some high wire, just ready to fall on my fat ass, know what I mean? I mean, look at Buffy and Dawn. They look up to me, thinking I got all the answers for them, and I'm nothing but a big fraud." Faith puts her head in her hands. "A big stupid fraud."

Joyce gets up, and quietly comes over, sitting down next to Faith. She puts her arms around her, gently stroking her back and hair.

"Faith, honey, it's ok. Believe me. Grown up here, and I'm gonna let you in on a secret."

"What?" Faith sounds defeated.

"I've been doing this for nearly 20 years, and I still don't got a clue, Faith. Every day it's I do something, and I hope I haven't messed everything up by doing it."

"Oh, c'mon, I've seen you in action. You were born a mom, I swear. You handle the girls like a pro."

"Give me a break, Faith. God, don't you remember how me and Buffy were at each other's throat just a couple of weeks ago? I sure do. And then that turned around." She looks into Faith's face. "Now, I wonder, who had a big something to do with that?" She makes as if to think about it. "Oh, that's right, it was YOU!"

Faith can't help but grin a little at that. Not so much the idea, but the obvious love and respect Joyce put behind it. But then she frowns.

"Joyce, I just … this is all so hard. I don't even know if I'm … I don't know if I can do this. Be a grown up. I mean… I'm not ready for this stuff. This being responsible stuff. I can't do this. I'm a total loser at this stuff."

Joyce chuckles knowingly, all the while trying to soothe Faith.

"Well, hate to tell you, but you don't have lots of choices here. You can't stay a kid forever. You're going to be a grownup, like it or not. It's just what happens."

"I can't. I just can't do this!" Faith stands up suddenly. "I'm not ready for this. I can't handle this. I'm sorry, but I …"

There's a crash in the next room, and both women's head turn towards the noise. Joyce starts towards the noise, but Faith stops her.

"Wait…" She puts a restraining hand on Joyce.

"Oh no, if you think I'm going to let you…"

"Shhh!"

Faith cautiously walks towards the living room, where the noise came from. She stops in the doorway, standing there, looking down. She waves at Joyce.

"C'mere, Joyce, you gotta see this!" There's a hint of amusement in Faith's voice.

Joyce rushes over, to be greeted by the sight of her eldest daughter, standing by the stairs, head down. Next to her is the phone table, which was upset when she stood up suddenly. On the floor is the vase which used to sit on the phone table, broken into a couple of large pieces.

Joyce goes to her, looking concerned.

"Buffy? Are you all right? What happened?"

"I think Buffy was crouched by the phone table, listening in. Isn't that so, princess?"

Buffy blushes.

"Is that true, Buffy? Were you eavesdropping?"

"Mom, I'm sorry," Buffy says quietly, "but I heard you upstairs, and it sounded like you were fighting, and I had to know." She turns to Faith, her eyes wide. "Don't leave, please? Don't leave! It's all my fault, I know that, but we … we really like you being here. We need you here! Don't go!"

Joyce and Faith look at each other, perplexed.

"Go?" Faith asks, puzzled.

"Please, let me fix it, ok? I'll go to that committee! I'll tell them anything you say. They've go to listen to me, right? They'll change their minds, right? If I tell them I was being raped? They'll take it back. I know they will…" She looks at her mom. "Don't let her go, please mom! Things have been good around here, right? I'm really trying. I am, but … I don't want to mess things up for you. I mean, you two are like good friends, and I think that's great and I think you need her as a friend. I need her as a friend. Don't let her go, mom!"

"Buffy, what are you talking about?" Faith asks, shaking her head. "Why do you think I'm gonna leave?"

"You… you said you couldn't take it anymore, you couldn't do this anymore. Just like dad did, before he bugged out. Mom, please… Faith, I know I screwed up. This is my fault, all my fault. But if you stay, I'll fix it, I'll make it right. Please, just…" She starts to cry. "Please, don't hate me! Don't go away, I need … I… " She turns to her mother. "Mom, I know you guys like each other. Really like each other. Please, don't hate me, ok? I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to m-mess it u-up…" Without thought, she clings to her mother, crying.

"Buffy, Buffy, shhh…" Joyce strokes her eldest daughter's hair, trying to comfort her. "Don't, baby. It's ok, everything's ok."

Buffy pulls back a little, sniffling. She looks at her mom, her eyes still shiny with tears. "She's going to leave, isn't she? She's disgusted with me, because I screwed up everything for her. She's leaving, and then you'll be angry, because I drove her away. God, I'm so …"

"Buffy, stop it, "Faith says, coming over and putting a comforting arm around her. She pulls her gently away from Joyce, and turns her to face her. "Listen to me, ok?"

Buffy sniffles, and sobs, and nods.

"Listen real close. I'm not leaving, ok?"

Buffy sniffs.

"I'm not, honest, " Faith sighs, " Look, I was just blowing off steam. I … I'm not going to lie, you heard everything, I'm sure, Ms. Ears. It's been a pretty crappy day for me. But hell, I'm not giving up over one stupid set back. There are other schools I can go to , and other jobs I can get. I just got so upset because, well, I felt rejected. Like I'd done something bad, when I know I hadn't."

"B-But if n-not for m-me, you wouldn't h-have been kicked out."

"That's a load of hooey, Buffy. I got kicked out cuz I was stupid. I shoulda known better, and fought harder to stay. I didn't, and it came back to bite me on the butt. Know what?" Faith says, grinning just a little.

"What?"

"Didn't help. Still got a big butt, ya know?"

Buffy, despite feeling guilty, can't help but giggle a little at that.

"That's better. Look at me, Buffy. Doesn't matter what they did. I woulda done the same thing. I wasn't about to let you, or anyone get hurt by a bunch of creeps like that. If I got my lumps after, oh well. I'll just get up and get back in there. That's your only choice, right? Unless you wanna run away and live in a cave somewhere in Tibet. I mean, you live in this world, you're gonna get blown over once in awhile."

"But I shoulda been there. I shoulda helped you!"

"How, Buffy? We went over this, girl. You don't remember that night too well. If you'd gone there and told them you remembered everything, that woulda been a lie. That never works. Trust me, I know from experience. That woulda just made it look worse. It coulda been worse."

"How?"

"They coulda maybe turned me over to the cops, had my butt in jail. At least for awhile. Now, that woulda sucked. As I see it, I got off ok. I mean, I'm still free, I'm still here, and hell, I'm still a hottie," Faith grins.

Buffy laughs.

"So, stop worrying, ok? It's all gonna be good," She turns to Joyce, "Right Joyce? I mean, you're not gonna kick me out cuz I might be behind on the rent a couple of weeks til I get another job, will ya?"

"Oh, I think we can manage that." Joyce nods her head, smiling.

"So, there you are. Happy ending, kid. Frankly…" She leans in…" I wasn't all that crazy about that bar, anyway. Snotty kids and bad tips. I can do better."

"You promise. You're not gonna leave, right?"

"Not until your mom gets tired of waiting for me to pay the rent." She grins crookedly. "Anyway, if I leave, who am I gonna have around to ruin my life, huh?"

Buffy looks a little stricken.

"Kidding. Gotcha!" Faith pulls Buffy into a hug. "Now, Ms. Snoopy, I think you should get your butt back to bed."

"I agree, "Joyce says, coming over to Buffy. "Maybe this will teach you to eavesdrop, young lady. You get all the wrong ideas. Next time, if you want to know something, ask."

"You're not mad at me?" She looks at both of them.

"I'm not mad. Are you mad, Joyce?"

"No, I'm not mad. But I might get a bit upset if you don't get back to bed, young lady. Tomorrow is a school day."

"I'm going, I'm going," Buffy puts up her hands. She starts up the stairs, then turns around. "I'll pay for the vase, mom. Honest." She starts up a couple more, then turns again. "I love you guys" She turns, and disappears upstairs.

They watch her go, standing together at the base of the stairs. Then Faith turns to Joyce.

"Well, I see it runs in the family."

"What're you talking about?" Joyce says, as she goes over to clean up the shards of the vase.

Faith comes over, and kneels next to her, helping.

"The getting of the crazy ideas in the head that have no basis in reality." Faith smirks at Joyce, who suddenly is very interested in the vase she's picking up. "So far, I haven't seen it in Dawn yet. But I suspect that's just a matter of time…"

"Would you stop?" Joyce says, picking up the last piece. She starts towards the kitchen.

_No good at this, my Aunt Fanny, _Joyce thinks to herself, dumping the pieces in the trash. _ She handled Buffy perfectly. And she thinks she can't deal. God, she's good. And it doesn't hurt she's damn sexy, either._

"So, are you feeling better now?" Joyce calls out from the kitchen. She turns, and Faith is standing right there. She's steps back a pace. "Whew, warn a girl when you're going to sneak up on her, ok?"

"What fun would that be?" Faith smirks, noticing the blush rising in Joyce's face. "So, we're done now? Can I go to bed now?"

"I guess," Joyce pouts just a little, "You don't like being with me?"

"There you go again with that crazy talk," Faith starts pinching her a little, causing Joyce to giggle. "But I think tonight, after everything, I just need to sleep. Funny how that never happens when you're there." She looks at Joyce with just a glimmer of lust in her eye.

"We don't have to do anything. We could just cuddle" Joyce insists.

"Yeah, sure. That's so gonna happen."

"Hey, I have self control. I'm not a sex fiend."

"Sure, sure, Joy. Just keep telling yourself that."

Upstairs, Buffy shuffles across her floor. She reaches her bed, and flops down in it.

Despite their reassurances, Buffy isn't particularly reassured.

Her parents reassured her the same way. She knows how that turned out.

She turns on her side, and curls up into a ball.

_They hate me, I know they do. They say they don't, but I know they do _

_And I deserve it. I'm nothing but a waste. _

_A big fat good for nothing waste. _

To be continued


	17. Chapter 17

A Change of Seasons, Chapter 15

1

Dawn wakes up, sniffing the air.

_Is that bacon?_ She sits up, taking another deep breath. _ Yup, that's bacon. But… it's not Sunday. Is it? No, it can't be. I mean, when I went to sleep, it was Thursday night. No way it could be Sunday! If it's Sunday then I missed Friday and Saturday. I MISSED MY DATE WITH XANDER! _

_Whoa, wait up. No way you could sleep through Friday and Saturday. But, still, that's… _ She sniffs the air…_ bacon!_

Dawn slips out of bed, and into her robe, intrigued. She pads into the hallway, and is making for the staircase when her sister's head pops out of her room.

"Is that bacon, squirt?"

"Yeah," Dawn nods, " And don't call me squirt, Buffy. That's bacon."

"Is it Sunday? Did I miss Friday and Saturday?"

"I don't think so… I know I didn't … oh, wow, nice look, Buffy. What happen? A cat crawl up on your head and die?"

"What?" Buffy's hand appears, touching her head. "Ooohhh… man" She ducks back in her room, her door closing behind her.

_Oh yeah, whatta burn. Got her good!_ Dawn, feeling peppier now that she got the first insult of the day on her sister, and better, before her sister, makes her way downstairs to investigate the Bacon Mystery.

"Whoa!"

She walks into the dining room to see the table set, and a pitcher of orange juice sitting on the table. Feeling suddenly thirsty, she grabs a glass and fills it.

"Hey, mom? What's the occasion? We never have bacon on…" Her words trail off as she sees Faith come into view, going to the pans on the stove to check them. " Faith?"

Faith turns around, and throws Dawn her patented heart breaker full dimple smile.

"Well, good morning sleepy. What's up? I mean, besides you?" Faith goes over, and flips the pancakes she has cooking on the griddle.

"You're making pancakes? On a Friday? What's going on? How come you're making breakfast? Wait, am I stupid? Why am I looking a gift horse in the mouth?"

"Which one do you want me to answer first?" Faith chuckles, tending to the bacon. "By the way, how do you like your eggs?"

"Er… cooked," Dawn fusses with her hair, suddenly remembering she didn't comb it before making her grand, if somewhat frumpy, entrance. "So, why're you making pancakes again, on a Friday?"

"Call it my apology for missing dinner last night," Faith grins. "I notice you guys usually do the cereal route on weekdays, thought I'd throw a change up out there. See how it took."

"Hey, any time you want to make breakfast, feel free," Dawn looks at the food stacking up. "Er…planning on inviting the army?"

"Hey, growing girls. You need your nutrition. Anyway, I'm starved!" Faith grins. "Went for a run this morning. Been awhile."

"Run? You run?" Dawn says, looking at her.

"Yeah, gotta keep the body in shape, you know. But it's been awhile. Came home all sweaty. Already had a shower…" She grins, "Speaking of which, you might want to get yours in before the rush hits."

"Yeah, good idea. Buffy is such a hot water hog," Dawn turns, and almost runs into her mother entering the dining room. "Hi mom! Look, Faith's cooking!" She ducks around her mom, and heads upstairs.

"I was wondering who was making bacon" Joyce wanders in, still looking a bit fresh from bed. "Faith? Are you cooking?" she sees the food on plates in the kitchen." Did you plan on inviting the neighbors, too?"

"What's with you guys? Don't you like eat? I used to fix breakfast for my family all the time. If I served them this, they'd be complaining about me starving them to death."

"Well, maybe you all eat like that in Boston, but…"

"But nothing, young lady. You'll eat the food put before you!" Faith mockingly growls.

"Gee, you sound like my mother. Except you forgot the kids starving in Asia."

"With my mom, it was always Ireland. I think she thought the potato famine was still going on." Faith shakes her head, chuckling.

Joyce enters the kitchen, starting to pick up plates to take to the table.

"Are you trying to make me fat?" Joyce stares at the cornucopia of food before her.

"Fat my butt," Faith grabs her around the waist, pulling her in. She gives her a big wet kiss. "Anyway, I like my women with something to hold onto."

"Faith! I haven't even brushed my teeth yet!" Joyce complains, but doesn't pull away.

"Mmmm, like I'm caring," she kisses her again. Then she starts getting a little grabby.

"Faith, the girls!" Joyce is giggling madly. "Aren't we in the good mood this morning!"

"Don't know about 'we', Faith winks. "But I am definitely on the horny side!"

"You are TERRIBLE!" Faith playfully slaps her, and pulls away, starting to take the loaded plates to the table.

Buffy wanders in, clad in her robe. However, her hair has been combed, face washed, and just the tiniest hint of make-up is on her face.

"What's the occasion? Mom?"

"I didn't do this," Joyce says, "Thank Faith."

"Oh. Hey, Faith," Buffy smiles. "So, why the grub, bub?"

"Buffy!" Joyce says, "What do you say?"

"Thanks, Faith, " Buffy turns to Joyce, "I was just kidding, mom. Geeze."

"Oh, well, I was feeling a little guilty about missing dinner last night. You're mom mentioned you went to some trouble. So, consider this my apology."

"Well, it looks… oh, damn!" Buffy looks at the clock. "I can't stay. I gotta get dressed and go."

"Buffy! I'm not saying I hate the idea of you wanting to get to school early, but why? Especially after Faith went to all this trouble to make this nice breakfast."

"I know, mom. I'm really sorry, Faith," Buffy turns to her. "But Cordelia called an early practice for today. She's got something going on after school, so we won't be able to practice then."

"Buffy, I think having breakfast with your family is more important that a cheerleading practice."

"Mom! I can't miss practice. Cordelia is really serious about winning the state championship this year, and if I miss practice, she might replace me!"

"Hey, Joyce, it's cool. Go get ready, Buffy. I'll make you a breakfast to go," Faith smiles at her.

"Thanks, Faith," Buffy smiles back. She runs upstairs. "Dawn, I need the bathroom! Get OUT!" can be heard from upstairs.

"Sisterly love. Isn't it sweet?" Faith grins, coming in to sit down to breakfast.

"So, what's the real deal here, Faith? Why the sudden interest in domesticity?"

"Hey, weren't you listening? I used to do this all the time for my family. It was one of my chores, you know?" Faith shrugs. "Mom and pop both worked, so I kinda did the meals."

"God. Beautiful, and she can cook!" Joyce grins, "I think I'm in love."

"Who's in love?" Dawn asks as she rounds the corner to the dining room. She sits down opposite her mom and Faith.

"Your mom, Dawnie. She told me so," Faith leans over, and whispers conspiratorially, "She's got a thing for Brad Pitt!"

Joyce blushes.

"Mom! GROSS!" Dawn says, digging into her breakfast. "You're so not supposed to like Brad Pitt. You should like guys like… Paul Newman…"

"Well, thanks, Dawn. But Paul Newman is 75 years old…"

"Ok, well… but Brad Pitt? That's …" Dawn shudders.

"Honey, I hate to tell you, but Brad is only 5 years younger than I am," Joyce says, smiling," anyway, I like my lovers a little younger."

Faith coughs.

"Something wrong, Faith?" Joyce asks innocently.

"No, no, I'm fine," Faith gasps a little. "Got something caught in my throat. Fine now."

Dawn looks at the two of them, and smiles. _I wonder who they think they're kidding?_

Buffy rushes in, looking a little breathless. She's wearing her cheerleading costume, and carrying a bundle over her shoulder. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail.

"Sorry guys, wish I could stay for breakfast, looks good," She looks around. "Gotta fly, however."

"Wait a minute, Buffy." Faith gets up, and hands her something wrapped in a napkin. "Just eat it on the way, like a burrito."

"Thanks, Faith," Buffy says, seemingly even more anxious to get away.

Joyce notes that Buffy is looking down, avoiding eye contact with Faith. _ Wonder what that's about?_

"Gotta motor, guys." Buffy starts to leave, then turns back. "You're going to be home for dinner tonight though, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it, Buffy," Faith nods.

"Cool. Seeya at school, Squirt. Bye, mom."

"Yeah. Later, Short-stack," Dawn says, gauging her sister's reaction.

Buffy stands for a moment, gazing at Dawn, little red circles in her cheeks. Then she shrugs, and without another word, leaves.

"She shoots, she scores!" Dawn raises her hands over her head.

Joyce and Faith look at her.

"So tired of her calling me squirt," Dawn explains. She catches the time on the kitchen clock. "Ooops, gotta go. Said I'd meet Xander before school." She pops up. " Bye, mom." She goes around, giving Joyce a peck on the cheek.

"You're bringing this Xander by so I can meet him, right?" Joyce asks.

"Mom, you've met Xander."

"Yes, and now, he's taking you out, so I get to meet him again. Whole different thing, Dawn. You know the rules."

Dawn rolls her eyes. "Ok, ok, I'll bring him by for dinner. That ok with you?"

"Sure, more the merrier, I say," Joyce smiles.

"Geeze, you sure you didn't grow up during the _1860's,_ rather than the 1960's?" Dawn complains. She turns to Faith. "Thanks for the grub, bub!' Before Faith can move, Dawn leans over and kisses her cheek. "You better be here tonight, or I'm gonna go looking for you!"

"And miss your date with …what's his name? Zebra?" Faith teases her.

"Ha, Ha. You know it's Xander, Ms. Smarty!" Dawn zooms around the table, and grabs her books. "Seeya guys." And she's off.

"So, I guess it's just you and me now," Faith says, chewing away merrily.

"I guess so," Joyce agrees, smiling at her. "It really was nice of you to make breakfast for us. You really didn't have to."

"Actually, I kinda did," Faith says quietly. "I'm kind of saying sorry for last night to you, too. I was … I'm really sorry I worried you like that. I just felt so bad, and really useless, that I couldn't look at you guys, know what I mean. I mean, you're like my family now… and I felt like a failure and stuff." She frowns a little. "Like I let you down."

"Faith, hon? As long as you're here? You can't let me down. It's only when you hide away like that, I get scared. But as long as we're together, you can't let me down."

They sit quietly for awhile, just enjoying being together, and sharing a meal.

"I was wondering," Faith asks, her hand slipping off her thigh, and onto Joyce's. "Are you in a real hurry to get to the office this morning?"

Joyce can't help but feel Faith's hand rubbing on her thigh, moving up on each pass.

"Well, depends. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, we have the house all to ourselves, and I thought…"

"I'm pretty sure Taylor can handle things for an hour or so… " her own hand slips over onto Faith's thigh. "Might have to make that two hours."

"Why Joyce, you minx. I think you've got your naughty on!"

Joyce smiles, and stands up. She slips out of her robe, and reveals she's rather on the naked side.

"… and evidently, that's all," Faith grins, looking over her body. Her eye gets a lusty twinkle.

Joyce smiles, and does a little hippy-hippy shake.

"Want it?" She giggles. She runs around the table, and stands in the doorway. " Going to have to catch me!" She turns, and runs upstairs.

Before her heart beats another beat, Faith is up and after Joyce, disappearing upstairs after her.

2

"Oooo! Look at the sparklies!"

"No, Xander!" Dawn cries out, covering his eyes with her hands. "If you look at them directly, you might go blind!"

Xander grins behind Dawn's protective hands. "Thanks, I need those to ogle you with!"

"Would you two stop it?"

Willow is sitting outside on a quad bench. Her lunch is sitting at her right side, and Dawn and Xander are to her left. She is blushing furiously, but grinning from ear to ear.

"We can't," Dawn says in a hushed, almost reverent tone. "We must worship at the altar of the big sparklies." Dawn hops onto the ground before Willow, kneeling and bowing.

"They're just earrings, for goodness sake," Willow pretends irritation, but she's loving the teasing.

Xander, getting in the spirit, joins Dawn in front of Willow, salaaming away.

"Oh no, most exalted one," He says, bowing humbly, "We must worship the sparklies!"

"Salaam!" Dawn cries, bowing

"Salaam!" Xander echoes, bowing.

"Baloney!" Willow laughs, "Get up! You two are nuts!"

"I tried to tell you that …," a voice comes from the side.

Dawn and Xander look up to see a familiar petite blonde presences standing off to the side, looking at them with arched brow. They sit on their haunches, a little red faced

"… but, would you believe me? I think not!" Buffy walks over, and calmly sits down on Willow's left. "So, what's all the hubbub … oooo … sparklies!" She whips out a pair of sunglasses, putting them on. "I brought protection, fortunately."

"Oh, god! Not you too!" Willow sighs, " from the giggle twins here, I know I'm in danger. But I expected some sense of sanity from you, Ms. Summers!"

"Ok, now that's scary," Buffy says, backing away in mock horror, making a sign of the cross in front of her. "You were channeling Snyder!"

A collective "Eeew!" goes up.

"Hey!" Willow sounds offended.

"A tall, red-headed, winsome and somewhat sexy Snyder!"

"Ok, that's just wrong. Sexy and Snyder in the same sentence." Xander shivers.

"That's not better," Willow protests. She shakes her head.

"Watch out, she's trying to blind us!" Dawn cries, covering her eyes.

"STOP IT!" Willow giggles.

"Hmmm…" Buffy moves closer to Willow, putting a finger under her earlobe to show off the earring. "I'm thinking that coffee date must've gone well. I mean, when you got these, it sounded like you were going to give them back."

"Buffy! Ix-Nay on the offee-Cay ate-Day," Willow tries to shush her. Too late.

"Date? Did I hear, date?" Xander perks up.

"Date with coffee, I think," Dawn chimes in. "Or maybe sugary mocha goodness?"

"Willow had a date!" Xander concludes, wisely. "So, spill it Will. Details, lots of details!"

"Yeah, we want the dirt!"

"Gee, guys, " Willow says, looking around. She finds her unopened soda can, and inverts it triumphantly. "I guess there's nothing to spill."

"Ok, Ms. Smarty, you know what we're talking about," Buffy says, poking her.

"Hey, don't get personal!"

"Come on, Willow. We're your bestest friends ever. You can trust us!" Dawn pleads with her.

"Uh-uh" Willow says, somewhat adamantly.

"Ok, Will. I didn't want to, but you're forcing my hand. Tell us, or you know what's going to happen!" Xander says, looking grim.

"What?" She catches the look in his eye, and starts backing into Buffy. "Oh, no! No you don't, Xander Harris. You don't EVEN think about it!"

"Hey, Will, if you wanted to sit in my lap, you could've asked!" Buffy laughs, getting up.

"I'm sorry Will, but this is for the public good. We have a right to know!"

Willow, panicking, runs around behind Buffy.

"Save me Buffy, don't let him get me!"

"What the …?" Buffy is confused.

"Xander, what're you doing?" Dawn speaks up, getting between Buffy, with the cowering Willow behind her, and Xander.

"A man's gotta do… what a man's gotta do" He stretches out his hands, waggling his fingers. "Take it like… well, like a girl, Willow!"

"What in the hell are you goofballs doing?" Buffy looks to Xander, and over her shoulder to Willow.

"He's… he's going to tickle me. He knows how ticklish I am!"

"Come out, Willow! Take your licks. You know it's going to happen!" Xander tries to reach around Buffy.

"Ummmph! Watch it, Xander!" Buffy protests.

"Move, Buffy!"

"Don't' you move, Buffy! Xander, back off. I'm telling you, back off now!"

"No, I have to do this. It's all part of my journalistic integrity!"

"You're not a journalist, Xander. They wouldn't even let you on the school newspaper!"

"Can I help it I'm spelling challenged?" Xander proclaims. "Now, stop stalling". Again, he attempts an end run around Buffy.

"Marcia Cross, Xander!" Willow cries out.

"What?" Buffy and Dawn say at the same time. Both look puzzled.

"Ok, I've had enough of being squished in a Xander/ Willow sandwich." Buffy ducks out from between them. "This is a silk blouse, guys!"

"Ah, got you at last, my pretty!" Xander grins, advancing on Willow.

"Marcia Cross!" Willow yells louder," One more step, and I spill my guts, Alexander Lavelle Harris!"

Xander stops, seemingly confused and scared. He hesitates, then starts advancing.

"Marcia Cross in the closet… I'm so not kidding here!" Willow calls out.

Xander stops.

"Who's Marcia Cross? What's she talking about?" Buffy turns to Dawn. They've become spectators.

"Not a clue," Dawn shrugs, mystified as her sister._ But she better keep clear of my Xander, or there'll be hell to pay! _

"You wouldn't, Willow!" Xander starts at her. "You're bluffing."

"I so am not bluffing, Xander, " Willow turns to Dawn. "Hey, Dawnie! Want a funny story about your knight in shining armor here!"

"Willow, no! Don't you dare!"

"Yeah sure!" Dawn brightens. She loves it when Willow talks about Xander.

"Too late, Harris!" Willow says, smugly. "You crossed a line!"

"I never touched you!"

"You were going to!"

"Hey, the story?" It's Buffy. She loves a good bit of gossip.

"Oh yeah, Well, you see….. mmmmmppphhh!"

Willow has been flanked by Xander, who has covered her mouth with his hand.

"We never tell about the Marcia Cross incident!" Xander says, "You swore! You pinkie swore!"

They struggle like that for awhile, every once in awhile Willow breaking out from Xander's hand, giving a clue to the Marcia Cross story. Phrases like "We were 13…" and "… 7th grade Cotillion…" and " He got kicked by…" and " …he walked around all funny for a week" Slipped out. Tantalizing, but in the end, uninformative and unsatisfying.

"Xander, let me go…" Willow squirms in his grip. She sounds a little flustered.

"Not until you give it up, Will. We want the scoop. Spill it!" Xander says in a jocular tone. "And no more threats of telling embarrassing stories, either!"

"Xander, this isn't funny anymore. Let me go!" Willow definitely sounds upset.

"No, promise. No promise, no go!"

"XANDER! STOP IT!"

Willow kicks back, hitting Xander in the shin.

"OW!" Xander releases her, grabbing his leg and limping away.

"Xander!" Dawn runs to him, checking his leg. She turns on Willow. "Why'd you do that? Why'd you kick him? He was only fooling around."

"He knows better," Willow, breathing heavily, shivers a little. "He knows better."

"What's wrong with you?" Dawn's tone is a little strident. She looks at Xander's leg. "You could've really hurt him. He didn't…"

"Dawn, it's ok," Xander says, his face serious. "I'm sorry, Will. I forgot. We got to playing around and…"

"Are you guys ok?" Buffy comes up, looking at Willow and then at Xander. "Wow, you really let him have it."

"I'm sorry, Xander, I just got … are you ok?" She kneels down by Xander, trying to get a look at his leg.

"You've done enough, haven't you?" Dawn is still clueless as to what's going on. All she knows is Willow kicked her boyfriend. "Go pick on someone else now!"

"Dawn, that's enough," Buffy realizes there's more here than is being said. "Willow didn't mean it, did you?"

"No, of course not. I'd… Xander's my best friend, I wouldn't… I'm so sorry, Xander!" Willow's voice is near tears.

"Hey, hey, no big, Will. I'm fine, look!" Xander gets up, and tries to hide the little limp Willow gave him. "See, good as new!"

Dawn subsides, finally cluing in a little. "Are you sure you're ok?" She asks Xander.

"Yeah," Xander puts on the bravado, "Take more than a kick from a girl to stop me."

"Depends on where the kick landed," Buffy cracks. She briefly glances at Xander's crotch.

"What? Oh… yeah… er, don't be giving out of the ideas, ok, Buffster? I'm rather fond of the boys…"

"The boys?" Dawn giggles, "you call your…?"

"Enough! I've been wounded enough today. Time for a strategic retreat so I can restore what's left of my fading macho-ness!" He starts to walk away.

"Xander! Don't go! I'm sorry, please stay!" Willow is up, going after him.

"Hey, Will. We're cool, ok? And anyway, I'm storming away. Kind of ruins it if come along." He grins at her.

"What about me?" Dawn says, coming up to them. "Can I come?"

"I dunno, Dawn. I mean, will there be all that girly sympathy and fussing and insisting I sit down and don't strain my leg and that junk?"

Dawn is about to answer no when she sees Willow vigorously nodding her head .

"Uhhh… yes?"

"Oh good. Ok, you can come."

He puts his arm around her shoulders, and walking away, milks his sore shin for all the sympathy he can get.

"So, do you name them too?"

"What?"

"You know… your… the boys." Dawn giggles.

"Oh, geeze…"

"I mean, is one like Lefty, and the other Righty? Or maybe, Carl and Clem… or…"

They walk into the school building, and disappear.

Willow turns around, still frowning a little. She walks back to Buffy, who's sitting watching her.

"Don't worry, I only kick one friend a day. Otherwise, it gets too hard to remember who I kicked last…"

"Are you ok?" Buffy pats the bench beside her. "You look a little shaken."

Willow sits, a rueful expression on her face. "I'm fine, Buffy. I just… I'm kind of claustrophobic. I panic easily sometimes."

_Claustrophobia my butt. That was something else, girl!_

"You're sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine, Buffy!" Willow says with a trace of irritation.

"Ok, ok, just asking," Buffy surrenders. "You just seemed a little nervy. My bad."

Willow grins crookedly, "No, I'm sorry. I get a little weird sometimes. It's the red hair and freckles. They just throw everything off."

"You're nuts. You realize that, right?" Buffy grins at her.

"That's why you love me, Buffy."

"True," Buffy nods slightly. She looks around. "Ok, we're alone, spill it."

"Buffy, really, I'd just rather not talk about it."

"Oh, c'mon, how bad can it be? You gotta tell me, I mean, really. There's a rule. Something about you spilling your deepest, darkest secrets with your best friend."

"Is there?" Willow smirks a little. "I better catch up with Xander then…"

"You're best _girl_ friend!" Buffy shakes her head, "you're so difficult!"

"Oh, well… have you seen Amy Madison then, lately?"

"Who's Amy Madison?"

"My best girl friend. I mean, you know me, I hate to break the rules. Of course, we're not as close as we used to be. She started getting into that magic junk…" Willow shrugs. "Witchcraft, go figure. I mean, that's bogus, right?"

"Far as I know. I kind it put it in with Vampires and Werewolves. Total fairytales." Buffy shakes her head. "Hold on! Stop with the dodges, Willow. Spill, I wanna know what happened!" She crosses her arms, and pouts. "I need my vicarious smoochies. Not having a boyfriendly makes things tough, you know? Well, maybe that's not exactly the right question, but still…"

"What about Brad Johnson. Last time I checked in, you were picking out china patterns and registering at Neiman-Marcus…"

"He's a real Poophead!" Buffy growls. "Can you believe it? He was getting friendly with me, to get Melinda Thompson's vitals. He wants to date _her!_"

Willow gives her a sidelong look. " Melinda Thompson huh?" She grins lopsidedly. "I wouldn't worry too much on that score. Brad has nothing that Melinda wants."

"Huh? What do you mean? He's like tall, and muscle-y and co-captain of the basketball team and did I mention tall?"

"Buffy, Melinda would date you before she dates Brad."

"I think I speak for everyone who is me when I say HUH?" Buffy says, looking confused. "I'm confused here. She'd date me?"

"Buffy, didn't you know?"

"Know? Know what?"

"Buffy, Melinda Thompson is gay…"

"Melinda Thompson is gay?" Buffy blurts out.

"Uhhh… a little louder please? I don't think the people passing the school quite heard you."

"Melinda's gay?" She repeats, softly.

Willow nods.

They look at each other for a moment, then both bust out laughing.

"I-It's p-perfect," Buffy stammers though her laugh. "H-He dumps m-me, for h-her!"

"C-Can you s-see h-his face w-when he a-asks her on a d-date?" Willow giggles.

Buffy makes a gesture with her hand indicating something wilting. Both girls laugh hysterically.

K-K-Karma! G-God, for once, it works f-for me," Buffy hiccups, she's laughing so much. "T-This is s-sooo sweet!"

They laugh a little more, then settle down.

"See, Buff? You were worried for nothing. Once Melinda blows him out of the water, he'll be back around."

"Yeah, but you know what? That doesn't change jack. He still dumped me, I mean, ME, for her! No way. He go blow himself for all I care!"

"Good for you, Buffy!" Willow nods approvingly.

"I mean, my life doesn't revolve around having a guy, right?"

"Singing to the choir here, baby," Willow winks.

Buffy smiles. "So, how do you know about Melinda?"

"Oh well, funny story. I was at the Bronze with Xander. We were just hanging out, and then we decided to dance, ok? So we're dancing, and I can almost feel someone looking at me… know what I mean?"

"Yeah, sure…"

"But all I'm seeing when I turn around is Melinda Thompson, at a table alone, looking at me. So, I shrug, figuring it can't be her… and so we dance some more, and someone cuts in. It's Melinda. And I'm starting to back away, so she can dance with Xander… but it's _me_ she wants to dance with. Wow, can that girl dance, you know?" Willow frowns a little, "Poor Xander, I think he was a little crushed. But he's so sweet, he just faded away. So we dance, and she's all the time getting closer and closer and hip checking me and butt bumping me. And she's saying things like how good I dance and all… so after, she invites me over for a coke, and we get to talking, and I'm thinking, well, this is nice. Not stuck up like most cheerleaders, and we're really connecting, you know? And the suddenly she's like kissing me!"

"Oh. My. God!" Buffy hoots.

"Oh yeah, so I'm like, 'Melinda, what're you doing?' "

"And she's saying 'I wanted to do that all night!' "

"And I like say 'Oh, really?' "

"And she says yeah, and asks me on a date!"

"Wow," Buffy smiles. "So, did you? Date her?"

"Oh yeah, we dated for a month or so… then she moved on… " Willow gets a little sigh in her voice. "Boy, can that girl kiss!"

"Poor Brad. He won't know what he's missing," Buffy laughs.

Willow joins her in the laugh. Then her laugh turns to a smirk, and she gives Buffy a sidelong glance.

"What?" Buffy asks.

"You might want to be careful, Buffy." Willow says, still smirking.

"Why?"

"Oh, it's just when we stopped dating, it was because Mel confessed that she had a thing for cute, short blondes."

"What?" Buffy looks a little nervous. "Oh. My. God! We … we shower together after Cheer practice. You don't think she's checking me out in the shower do you?"

"Could be. I hear she has a weakness for short blonde chicks."

Buffy turns a deep red.

"Gotcha!" Willow grins.

"You… you poop!" Buffy hits her arm.

"Ouch!"

"Hey, wait a minute! You did it again, you poop!" Buffy punches her again.

"I did what?" Willow asks innocently, rubbing her arm. "And, OW!"

"You know very well what. You used you're wily Willow ways to elude the question. What happened on your coffee date?"

"Buffy, really, nothing much at all happened. We met, we talked, we drank mochas. A real snoozer."

"Hmmm…." Buffy reaches over, fingering Willows' earring "I'd hardly call it a snoozer. She got you to keep these. Something must've happened."

"Look, Buff, I'll give you the short version, ok? This girl… we had a thing for awhile some time back. We … had a falling out, and it wasn't nice after that. It went like that for awhile, but now she wants to try again. I just don't know, after what went on, I just don't know if it'll happen again. But I agreed to at least give it a shot."

Buffy looks a little disappointed. "Well, that was a juicy as dried dates. What happened to cause you to break up? It must've been pretty terrible, cuz you're pretty easy going, Will."

"Buffy, that's private. Really. Don't want to talk about it."

"But you're willing to get together with her now? I mean, usually when I break up with someone, it stays broken up."

"Buffy, it wasn't that easy, and I'll admit, I still have feelings for her. I kind of wish I didn't…"

"Why?"

"It just… complicates things, ok? I really don't want to tell Xander. He'd probably guess who it was, and I don't need him giving me stuff about it. So, kind of keep this to yourself, ok? Promise?"

"Sure, if that's what you want, Will. Zip of the lips. Got it."

"I mean it, Buffy. Not a word to Xander. I'll make something up, but he can't know … it was someone I was dating before. I'm trusting you on this, ok?"

"Ok, but… well, who's the mystery woman? I mean, you've told me this much, you might as well tell me her name."

Willow would like to tell. She'd love to have someone she could talk to about this. But she knows, considering everything, this would be a bad idea.

"No, Buffy. I think not. It's not that I don't trust you; it's just that you can't accidentally let slip what you don't know. Let's just leave it as it is. Ok?"

"Yeah, sure, Will. I get it, " Buffy takes it all wrong. She gets up. "Hey, gotta go, so, seeya around, ok?"

"Buffy…" Willow realizes how it must sound to her. "It's not that I don't trust you…"

"It's just that you don't trust me," Buffy smiles tightly. "It's ok, Will. I get it. You haven't known me that long, I mean, how could you, really?" She shrugs, and starts to walk off. She stops, and says over her shoulder. "Too bad you couldn't give me a chance like you're giving mystery girl. Oh well." She strides off towards the classrooms.

"Buffy… wait… " But Buffy is already disappearing through the doors.

Willow stands there a moment, feeling foolish.

_Nice one, Will. I mean, what did she ever do to you? Just because she's a on Cordy's squad, doesn't mean… God, why does Cordelia have to just ruin everything?_

Shaking her head, she picks up her books and walks towards the classrooms.

3

"I don't get it? Why? What'd I do?"

Harmony Kendall is sitting on a bench in the locker rooms, looking crushed. Her shoulders are slumped, her lower lip is trembling, and her eyes are threatening tears. She looks up at Cordelia, who's standing by her.

"Harmony, it's not like that. It's not anything you've done. It's just what it is. It's over."

"But why?" Harmony cries, reaching out and grabbing Cordelia's hand. "I did everything you wanted me to. I've been good. I've even been nice to that Buffy girl." Suddenly, her face clouds over, and she frowns. "It's her, isn't it? You want her, and you're dumping me _for_ her!"

"No, it's _not_ her, Harm," Cordelia says. "She has nothing to do with this!"

"Don't lie to me! Dammit, I know you. I've seen how you look at her. You even let her back on the squad, after that fiasco at the Alpha Mu house! You wouldn't just do that. You want something! You want _her!_" Harmony starts to cry.

"It's not her, Harmony."

"Then why? It doesn't make any sense. Don't I do it good? Don't I make you happy anymore? Why are you dumping me?"

"I'm not dumping you! We're still going to be friends. Just not… anything more than that."

"How can you be so cold about it?" Harmony lashes out, hurting. "You just stand there like it was nothing. God, are you made of ice? Or what?"

Cordelia feels the flush creeping up her neck.

Harmony is making her feel bad. She doesn't like feeling bad about herself.

"Oh for goodness sakes, Harmony. What did you think, I mean, really?" Cordelia starts to rev up. "We were going to be like, high school sweethearts and go off on some white horse into the sunset or something? Get real, Harm. You know who I am, what I am! You know I have a rep to protect here. I'm a Chase, and that _means something_ in this town. I can't… I have to project a certain image," She leans over, "Maybe, if you hadn't been so blatant about things, it wouldn't have come to this. But our secret? Not so secret! And I know I'm not the one going around acting like a love sick puppy. You blew it, Harm, and now, it's gotta end. And it's ending!"

Harmony looks stricken. "What're you saying? People know?"

"Yeah, Harm, and if you'd kept your ears open, you'd have known that." She cocks her head. "You're supposed to be my eyes and ears around school, Harmony. Evidently, you're not doing your job."

"You're blaming me for this?"

"Excuse me, but you always act jealous whenever I talk to anyone. My god, it's obvious, even to a 3 year old, what's up. So, don't try to wiggle out of it. I can't have my rep ruined, and I won't. It's over, Harmony."

"Don't you love me? Not even a little?" Harmony sounds bereft. She's looking at the floor, not at Cordelia.

"Of course I do," Cordelia softens, sitting down next to her. She takes Harmony's hand. "You're my best friend, Harm. You always will be." She smiles at Harmony.

Harmony blinks rapidly, trying to clear the tears. "I really love you, Cor. I'd do anything for you."

"Then do this, and don't cry. Just because we're not lovers, doesn't mean we're not friends anymore. That's better anyway, isn't it?"

"I guess," Harmony says, not believing it.

"You know what I think, Harm?" Cordelia starts to pour on the charm.

"What?"

"I think we need to shop, you know. Just you and me. It's been a long time since we did a mall run, and I understand Bloomies got some really cool new stuff."

"I can't, Cor. I mean, I'm already maxed out on my card. My dad's threatening to pull it."

"Hey, my treat! I mean, what're friends for, right?" Cordelia smiles.

"Really?" Harmony immediately brightens up. "I saw the cutest skirt there the other day. It's to die for."

"Then, I think you're just going to have to have it." Cordelia grins at her. "I can't have my best bud going around in last month's fashions, can I? How would it look?"

Harmony smiles brightly. "You're the best, Cor."

"Well, yeah," Cordelia says as if there's no question. "Now, get dressed, and then we'll go do a little shopping."

"But, we've still got some classes…"

"Oh, forget that. I mean, this is a shopping emergency. There are priorities in life, and shopping is way up on the list. Anyway, I wanna spend some time with my best bud this afternoon, not be bored to death with Shakespeare and science."

"Oh, cool! Ok, ummm… meet you in the parking lot?"

"You bet. Now, get going. Time's a wasting girl. So much shopping, so little time!"

"You betcha, Cor!" Harmony gets off and moves off, humming to herself.

Cordelia watches her go, liking the little sway in her hips.

_Gonna miss that, but I want the gold, not the brass. _

_From tears to cheers in what? 5 minutes? I'm good, so good! _

Grinning, she heads to her locker to dress.

4

"That was great grub, Mrs. Summers. Thanks for inviting me!"

Xander, his plate almost licked clean, sits back from the table, sighing happily. Dawn is sitting to his left, and Buffy is on his right. Across the table are Faith and Joyce.

Joyce is looking with some amusement at Xander's plate. _Don't they feed the boy at home? _

"Well, I'm glad you liked it, Xander. I can't take credit, however. Dawn and Buffy made the meal."

"Really?" He leans over to Dawn. "Beautiful, and you can cook. I'm in love!"

Dawn blushes furiously, and then reaches for something, anything, to hide it.

"Aren't you still hungry, Xan?" She starts to dish something onto his plate.

There are chuckles and giggles at the table.

"What?" She looks around, irritated and embarrassed.

"She's started feeding him. Bad sign, Joyce. It might be serious." Faith can't resist teasing her.

There is general laughter, except for Dawn, who is red to her ears. She quickly puts the bowl down.

"Squirt and Xander, sitting in a tree… K-I-S-S-I-N-G…" Buffy says in a sing song voice.

"At least I gotta boyfriend, Short-Stack," Dawn whips back.

"I thought you and Brad Johnson had a thing going, Buff," Xander pipes up, looking at her.

"Yeah, well, looks like old Brad was only charming Buffy a little to get closer to Melinda Thompson," Dawn pipes up.

Suddenly, Buffy goes quiet and looks down at her plate. She starts picking at her food.

Dawn is smiling, but then notices no one else is.

"What?" She looks puzzled. "What?"

"So, Xander. What are your plans? After high school?" Joyce tries to divert the conversation.

"Mom!" Dawn protests, looking embarrassed. "Ignore her," She addresses Xander. "She does this all the time!"

"Well, Xander is dating my daughter, don't I have a right to know what he's going to do after he graduates? He's a senior, after all."

"Gawd, mom! We're dating! Not getting married!"

"Married?" Xander pales a little. "Did someone say married?"

"I was just curious, is all."

"Actually," Xander tries to distract from the 'M' word," I'm going to work for my Uncle Floyd this summer. He's in construction. I worked for him last summer, and I did really good."

"Really?" Joyce asks, nodding. "You're thinking of going into construction?"

"Yeah, kind of. I mean, right now I'm just like a grunt with a hammer. But I was thinking next year, I'd go to the JC, and maybe take some classes. Work towards a contractor's license, you know? That's where the real money is."

"Yeah, you can make some real folding green doin' construction, Xander, if you're smart," Faith nods.

"It's a fine trade. Glad to see you've got some plan for your future, Xander," Joyce nods approvingly.

Xander smiles, and Dawn is slowly melting into her chair.

"God, Mom, do you have to do this?" Dawn sounds offended. "Just ignore her, Xan. She's a mom, and obviously goes strictly by the handbook." She looks daggers at her mother.

"Well, dear, you are my daughter. I guess that gives me the mom privileges."

"I like you're mom, Dawn. She's cool."

"Why, thanks, Xander, I like you too," Joyce smiles.

"Well, maybe you two should go out on a date, then," Dawn sounds little miffed.

"Aw, c'mon Pooh, don't get all bent outta shape," Xander turns to Dawn, smiling. "You're mom just wants to make sure I'm not a serial killer or something."

Joyce and Faith look at each other. Both nod an _I like this one_ kind of nod.

"I just wish sometimes she'd find someone else to pick on," Dawn sighs. She stands up. "Let's get out of here before she starts planning out the wedding invitations."

"Dawn Marie Summers," Joyce says, a little irritated now. "That's uncalled for. I'm just concerned about you."

"I'm 16, almost 17 mom. I'm not a baby."

"I'm sorry, dear, but you'll always be my baby."

"Oh, gross." She tugs on Xander's arm. "Let's go!"

"No way, young lady. No one's going anywhere until this table is cleared and the dishes done."

"But mom, I've got a date…" She puts on a pleading look.

"Mom, let the squirt go. I'll get it." Buffy says.

Dawn looks at her sister. _Ok, what's the catch? Buffy never does nothing unless it's for Buffy. _" Ok, Buffy, what's the catch?"

"No catch, Squirt. Just go and enjoy yourself." Buffy shrugs, standing up.

"Thanks, Buffy," Dawn says softly. She's feeling a little bad now for making that crack earlier. "Sure you don't want to come down with Xander and me to the Bronze? Lots of cute guys, you know."

"Naw, thanks, but I really hate being the third wheel. Plus, I got some homework to do." She picks up her plate and heads for the kitchen.

Joyce follows her eldest daughter with her eyes, and starts to get up. "Maybe I should talk to her…"

Faith puts a restraining hand on her shoulder.

"I'll talk to her," Faith stands up.

"But, didn't you have that errand? I mean…"

"It'll wait a few minutes, don't you think?" Faith smiles at her.

"Thanks Faith." Joyce smiles back.

Faith takes her plate to the kitchen.

_Mmmm-hmmm, _Dawn thinks to herself. _Nothing going on there._

"So, mom, you have to go to the Gallery tonight? I mean, it's Friday night."

"Well, honey, when you own your own business, it's no respecter of the calendar. I have to look over some things that came in late this afternoon. I only put it off so I could be here at dinner."

"So, do you think Faith liked her dinner? I mean, we wanted to be special for her."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure she was pleased," Joyce looks at her. She smiles. "Don't you and Xander have a date to get to?"

"Right!" Dawn comes around, giving her mom a kiss on the cheek. "Be back in the morning."

"Ha, ha, very funny young lady. I expect to see you at 11."

"Mom, it's Friday night!"

"Ok, well, 12 then," Joyce enjoys teasing Dawn. She's so easy. "I can count on you to get her home on time, right Xander?"

"Oh, mom!"

"Sure, Mrs. Summers. On the dot. Even before the dot!"

"Xander!"

"Go on, shoo. Have a good time!" Joyce chuckles, as Xander and Dawn leave the dining room.

"Hey, Buff. Thought I'd save you bussing a plate, "Faith says, entering the kitchen.

"Thanks, Faith," Buffy doesn't turn to look at her. "Just stick it on the counter. I'll get it."

Faith brings the plate over, setting it down. She pauses by the sink.

"Hey, you ok, Buffy?" She reaches over, touching Buffy on the shoulder. Buffy starts, almost dropping the plate she's working on. "You seem a little down."

"I'm fine," Buffy says, a little irritated. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"Well, you're all quiet and you hardly ate anything. Not good signs."

"I wasn't really hungry, ok?" Buffy rinses off some dishes. "Was there something you wanted, Faith?"

"No, just … are you mad at me?"

"What?" Buffy turns around. "No, that's silly. Of course not! Why would you think that?"

"Well, you hardly even look at me, and you've been all quiet, and a little moody. I just wondered if I did something to upset you?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Buffy waves her off. "I just got a lot to do, and want to get it done. Ok? And, you had to go somewhere, didn't you?"

"Yeah, ok. Just wondered," Faith starts to go. "you know, if there's anything bothering you, you can talk to me, right?"

"Sure, Faith, got it." Buffy turns back to the dishes.

"Ok, well, bye." Faith leaves the kitchen, feeling confused.

_Sure, Faith, we'll talk. That'll happen._

5

"Did we like just step into a time warp or something?"

Willow and Cordelia are standing just inside the entrance to the Butterfly Heart.

"What's wrong?" Willow asks, a little edgily. The whole date thing has put her in a bit of a mood.

"Just, well, look at it," Cordelia waves her arms around. "It looks like something out of one of those cheesy mid seventies disco movies. "

The Butterfly Heart definitely has a retro look to it. Opened about 10 years ago after being bought out, the new owners decided to play up the seventies, disco theme to the place, even replacing the disco ball that had been taken down years back.

The layout had a long bar along one wall. The dance floor was large, taking up nearly one third of the space, and it was light along the edges, 70's style. Over the middle was the disco ball, lit by a couple of small spots mounted near the ceiling.

There were a number of tables and booths along the walls and towards the back, a RockOla juke box, a tiny stage for live acts, and a couple of pool tables. Most of the lighting came from the frosted candle holders on the table, the lights around the dance floor, and wall sconces placed strategically around the bar.

"It looks ok to me," Willow shrugs, taking Cordelia's hand. "Lets find a table…" Cordelia holds up, jerking Willow back a little. "What?"

"You sure no one will know me here?"

"Cordy, I promise, no one will know you here. And even if they do, think they're going to admit they saw you here? I mean, what does that say about them?"

"True," Cordelia nods, allowing herself to be led. "Still, someone really needs to do something about the décor. It's kind of tacky."

"Did you come to look at the decoration, or at me?" Willow asks, getting a little tired of the Cordelia critique.

"Ok, ok, I'm just saying…"

"If you really hate it, we could go to the Bronze. But I might forget myself, and kiss you in front of everyone," Willow looks at her.

"Let's find a table," Cordelia takes the lead. Willow smiles, allowing herself to be led. _Sometimes, it just takes the right incentive._

They weave through the dancers, making their way to the back.

"See, this isn't so bad, is it?" Faith smiles at Joyce.

"No, I guess not," Joyce says, returning the smile. " Just not used to being in a place like this, is all."

"It's just a bar, Joyce. Only diff? No guys to hit on you, or think they own you if they buy you a drink."

"That's for sure." Joyce remembers a number of nights when, on the road during her buying trip, more than one man had come up and tried to hit on her. Wearing her wedding ring hadn't helped. She finally just quit going to bars entirely, feeling uncomfortable and out of place.

Faith had been right, though. No one has so much as approached their table since they arrived. _Probably saw me with Faith, and figured I had what I wanted. True enough_. She smirked to herself.

"What's that for?" Faith noted the little smirk.

"Oh, nothing," Joyce plays the mysterious card. _Hey, got to keep her guessing on some stuff. Don't want her to get bored with me._

"Ok, Ms. Enigmatic, How about a dance then?"

"Oh, I don't know. I mean, I can dance, just I'm not up on the newer dances."

"Don't sweat it, Joyce. Just watch me and do what I do. We won't do anything exotic… yet."

_Oh boy. That makes me feel sooo much better._

They get up and make their way to the dance floor.

6

"Bogus!"

Buffy slams the book shut. She just can't get into the text; it seems to be swimming on the page right before her eyes. She's been 'reading' the same paragraph for the last 15 minutes, and still can't make sense of it.

_Why am I doing school junk anyway? Not like it's due tomorrow or nothing. Still, I'm behind, and I know mom is going to have a cow if I come home with crappy grades again this semester._

She sighs. Opening the book, she tries again. She leans on her hand, and stares at the page. 5 minutes later, still on the same page, she slams the book closed again.

_This is a waste of time! Whoever thought up 'History' anyway? Who cares what some guy did in some place so long ago, what does it matter? When are you ever going to use it in _real_ life, anyway? I mean, c'mon. Not like I'm going to be a contestant on "Millionaire" or "Jeopardy" or nothing. It's stupid. It's pointless. Like Physics, or Geometry or math or English or… just so boring. It's Friday night, I should be out, partying or something. _

_Well, maybe if you hadn't been such a screw up, you would be. Or on a date. Or something. But you're on restriction, and it's your own fault! _

_I know, I know! I just… oh, god, I messed up so bad! I've ruined Faith's life, and god, how'll she ever forgive me? She won't, that's how! She's gonna hate me forever. Mom, too. Why shouldn't she? She's had things tough enough, and does she get any help from you? Of course not! Because you're such a brat. A total brat. All you could think of was yourself, and your life, and how things were bad for YOU. Yeah, Buffy, I'm really sure mom is so glad to have YOU around. I know if she got the chance, she'd trade you in on a newer model kid. One that doesn't have the brat option! _

_I don't even get it, Buffy. Why do you do this crap? Why can't you just be chill a little? You're always looking for the burn; so much no one can even get close to you. Like Brad, maybe? Yeah, well, maybe if you hadn't gone so crazy with the whole boyfriend thing, he wouldn't have gone looking for something else. Like Melinda Thompson. No, you gotta get all stupid and clingy, and whatever. And for what, anyway? I mean, Brad's kinda cute (ok, major cute), but really… I wasn't all that hot for him. It was more the idea of being solo. Being alone. _

_That's what it is, isn't it, Buffy? Things change, but you can't take that. You want everything to be like it was. Back in L.A. When you were on top of the world, right? Head Cheerleader, most popular girl at Hemery, the right boyfriend, the right everything. Mom and Dad…_ Buffy feels a little sharp pain…_ were still together. I wasn't some kind of freak in some freak show. _

_Yeah, a freak. Cuz when they needed me to be the adult, I acted like the brat. So cool, so cool. I ruined everything. My life, their life, Faith's life…Hey, maybe I can go for Dawn next, you know? Then I've really fucked up everything. Oh yeah. _

_You're special, Buff. Really special. Oh, and another thing? Stop the pity party, ok? Tired of it, and you're lucky mom doesn't boot you to the curb. Stop being a FUCK UP!_

Buffy sighs, gets up and wanders into the living room. Sitting down on the couch, she picks up the remote. She turns on the TV.

She surfs through the channels, quickly finding not a thing to watch. _God, 200 channels, and nothing to watch. It's Friday night. Who's watching TV anyway but the terminal losers, anyway! _

She clicks off the TV, and falls back on the couch.

_So bored… Nothing to do… _

_Oh, please, give me a break. Find something to do! _

_Well, I could slip out and go to the Bronze… _

_Need I remind you that was how you got in this mess in the first place? You're so not messing up again by sneaking out! _

_Aw, who wants to go, anyway? No fun, really. And I'd just look like I was hanging around with Dawn on her date. Total loser much? _

_Bored. BORED! _

Buffy looks around. _Hmmm… place could use a cleaning. And that could be good for some Brownie points. Maybe mom won't think I'm a total fuck up then… _

She nods. _Yeah, that could be cool. And I'm so bored, even cleaning is looking good._

She hops up, and running to the closet, pulls out the vacuum. Wheeling it into the front room, she goes around putting on the lights.

"Ok, then. Vacuum, check. Ok, let's get this done… no wait! Music, gotta have music." She walks over, and turns on the stereo. She flips through the channels until she comes to a station playing dance music. She listens, smiling, then swaying her hips a little, dances over to the vacuum. She flips it on, starting to clean the carpet.

"Hey, cutie," She says, pushing the sweeper back and forth. "Come here often? How come I never seen ya before, huh? Oh, what? You're girlfriend dumped you? Well, forget her, baby. Let's get it done, whattya say?"

She starts humming along with the music, and dancing around to the music, going this way and that, occasionally bumping into something, and having to stop to straighten it up… or pick it up.

"God, I'm so clumsy sometimes," she addresses the vacuum. "Hope I haven't gotten your toes yet! You dance _divinely,_ you know!" She moves around, sweeping away. " Oh, yeah you do! Mmmm… did I mention you have the cutest smile? I didn't? Well, bad me!"

She giggles, and dances around some more. The song changes to a fast Salsa number, and she grins.

"I love this. C'mon, cutie, let's show 'em what it's all about."

She starts shaking and wiggling around, laughing at her own goofiness. Abandoning the vacuum, she gets caught up in her fantasy, starting to do meringue with her imaginary partner. It's all going pretty well until she does a turn out, turning in a circle. Her feet get caught in the cord, and she falls, landing hard on her butt.

"Nice going, slick," She mutters to herself, then laughs. _Thank god no one was here to see you bust that move, Buff. That could've been embarrassing._ She gets up, and brushes herself off, casually glancing out the window.

She freezes. Standing at the window is a figure, tapping loudly on the glass.

_Oh, shit! What the hell? Who the…?_

She looks closer, and her eyes go round as saucers.

Without thinking, she runs to the door, and opens it up.

A man, solidly built , walks into the porch light

"DADDY!"

7

"See, not so bad"

Faith and Joyce are dancing their second dance. Joyce is just starting to relax a little and get into it.

"Easy for you to say," Joyce says, still feeling a little strange. "I look like some idiot up here!"

"You don't, believe me," Faith reassures her. "You're doing great. Just relax and get with the rhythm."

Joyce nods and tries to keep up with Faith's moves, hoping desperately she doesn't look as clumsy as she feels. It's not that she can't dance; it's just that she's not used to dancing this way. _Might help if I'd been dancing sometime after Disco died,_ she sighed to herself, trying to keep up.

Faith, seeing her partner's distress, tries to ease her situation.

"Joyce, don't worry about your feet. Just dance in place, and move your body," Faith demonstrates for her. "Just enjoy the movement, we don't have to cover half the floor dancing."

They dance face to face for awhile, Faith just letting Joyce get used to the movements. Then she dances around behind her, and circles her arms around Joyce's waist. She starts to sway in time to Joyce's movement.

"You're doing great, baby. Now, just let me lead you a bit, " Faith says softly into Joyce's ear, her chin resting on her shoulder.

"You keep doing that, and you know where this'll lead," Joyce is very stimulated, feeling Faith's body pressing against her, swaying. "Are you trying to turn me on?"

"Do I have to try?" Faith says in her ear. She gently leads Joyce back, and is making a turn, when a heel digs into her ankle, causing her to lose balance. She lets go of Joyce, and almost falls into the dancer behind her.

"Faith, are you all right?" Joyce asks, a little shakily.

"Hey, grace, think you can watch where you're dancing?" The voice behind her says. "I mean, if you can't dance, how 'bout leaving the floor to us who can?"

"What?" Faith turns around, "you practically speared your heel through my ankle, you…"

Faith freezes in place. Behind her is Cordelia Chase, looking at her an annoyed expression.

"Who do you think you are, you clumsy cow?" Cordelia asks, impatiently, "Just because you can't dance… HEY!"

"Faith? FAITH? What're you doing?"

Faith has moved forward, grabbing Cordelia by the arm. She grabs her neck, next, and starts shoving her towards the door.

"Watch it!" One of the women on the dance floor complains when Faith almost bulldozes through. "We're dancing here!"

"HEY! Leave her alone!" Willow says, going after Faith.

"You little bitch," Faith mutters, shoving Cordelia towards the exit. "You got no idea how much I've wanted to see _ you _ again!"

"You can't do that in here!"

"Faith! Stop it! Let that girl go!" Joyce is following on her heels, and bumps into Willow.

"Excuse me," Joyce says, then gets a look at who she bumped into. "Willow?"

"Mrs. Summers?" Willow looks somewhat amazed. "Joyce? What're you doing here?" She looks at where Faith is forcing Cordelia towards the door. "Is she with you?"

Faith pushes Cordelia through the crowd, to various complaints of "Watch out" , "What're you doing with that girl!", "Someone should call the police!"

She almost gets her outside when someone grabs her from behind by her collar and pulls her back.

Faith sees a large woman, 6 foot tall and outweighing her by better than 70 pounds holding on to the collar of her coat.

"What do you think you're doing?" The woman asks, keeping hold of her collar.

"What business is it of yours?" Faith says, eyes narrowed and lips tight.

"Help! This nut attacked me!"

"We don't allow fighting around here."

"That's why I'm taking her outside!"

"I think you should let the girl go," The woman pulls both of them closer. "Right now would be good."

"You heard her!" Cordelia sneers at Faith. " Let me go!"

"You want her? Ok, here you go!"

Faith, never letting go of Cordelia, uses her like a battering ram, shoving her hard into the woman. The move is unexpected, and the woman lets go of Faith's collar, losing her wind on impact. Faith kicks out, hitting the woman in the stomach, doubling her over. Faith turns, and before the woman can recover, is out the door with Cordelia.

"Let me GO, you psycho freak! Who the hell are you? Do you know who I am?" Cordelia is struggling against Faith's grip.

"Oh yeah, pom-pom girl. I know exactly who _you_ are!"

"What is your trauma, moron?" Cordelia yells, almost falling when Faith pushes her away. "Are you totally out of your mind, or what?"

"Take a good look, slut!" Faith goes at her, pushing her up against a wall. "Look real hard. Don't ya see something familiar?"

"Only thing I see is some nutcase attacking me…" Cordelia kicks out, hitting Faith in the shin. "Get the hell away from me, you loony!"

"Bad mistake. Let me refresh your memory," Faith growls, her shin aching. She slaps Cordelia across the face. "Remember now, brain dead? Or do you go around ruining so many lives the faces just bleed together."

"You crummy bitch!" Cordelia elbows Faith in the gut, driving her back. "Get a clue! I've never seen you before. You got the wrong person, idiot!"

"Don't think so, _Cordelia!_" Faith snarls, lunging at Cordelia. She grabs her, and shoves her against the wall.

"Let GO OF ME!" Cordelia yells. She brings a knee up into Faith's groin.

Faith staggers back a little. She shakes her head, then rushes forward, pinning Cordelia to the wall.

"Oh, you're going to pay for that one, princess," Faith punches Cordelia in the gut.

Cordelia retaliates by reaching out and scratching Faith's face. Faith yells and pulls back.

Goddamn it! You fight like a girl!" Faith feels blood leaking out of the scratch.

"I AM a girl, you idiot!" Cordelia comes at her, circling around her. "Why are you attacking me?"

"Think hard, Cordelia. Back a few weeks. Alpha Mu house. Upstairs. Coming to you yet?"

Cordelia's eyes go wide when it hits her.

She falls down when Faith hits her in the face.

"Oh. My. God! The crazy nut that busted in at the party!" She moans, grabbing her cheek. "You hit my face, you bitch. You hit my face!"

"I'm gonna do more than that," Faith grabs her, pulling her up. Cordelia struggles, and then head butts Faith.

Faith staggers back, shaking her head.

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!" Joyce calls out. She runs up to Faith, blocking her access to Cordelia. "Stop it right NOW!"

"Get out of my way, Joyce!"

"Leave her alone!" Willow comes up, going to Cordelia. "Are you ok, Cordy?"

"I'm not moving Faith. You're acting like a lunatic!"

"No, I'm _not_ ok, Willow. This crazy woman attacks me for no reason, and she hurt me!"

"You little bitch!" Faith growls. "I'll teach you to lie. What, is this your next victim, you pimp? Plan on getting her in some kind of …"

"Faith! Stop! This is madness!" Joyce says, trying to pull Faith away. "What're you talking about?"

Willow furrows her brow, and turns to Cordelia. "What is she talking about, Cordelia?"

"I don't have a clue, Willow! She's nuts!"

"Joyce, dammit, get out of my way. That's her, don't you understand? That's the bitch-pimp that almost got Buffy raped!"

Joyce loses all color in her face. Willow, on the other hand, turns a bright red.

"What?" Joyce asks, almost whispering. She turns to Cordelia. "Is this true? Were you at the party with my Buffy?"

"Joyce, I'm telling you. That's her! That's Cordelia!" She moves around the stunned Joyce, and heads for Cordelia. "I'm going to put your ugly face through that wall, bitch."

Willow cuts in front of Faith, shielding Cordelia.

"Get outta my way, girl. Don't wanna hurt you, but I'm gonna pound that bitch into the ground."

"Faith, stop it! That's Buffy's friend, Willow. Calm down! Fighting isn't going to help anything!"

"Back off," Willow stands her ground, jaw set. "I'll handle this!"

"Don't you tell me to … OWWWW!"

Joyce, in desperation, has grabbed Faith's arm, sinking her nails into it.

"Enough! Come over here, now, Faith." She tugs on Faith, trying to lead her away.

"Let me go, Joyce. Let me GO!"

"Not until you stop acting like a child!"

"You tell her, lady. You're friend's a mental case!"

"SHUT UP!" Willow and Joyce say at the same time.

"Am I, bitch? How 'bout how you and your Frat buddies got me kicked outta school? Am I imagining that, Cordelia? Or, how 'bout how they lost me my JOB!" Faith's eyes are blazing. "You've done nothing but try to ruin Buffy's life, and my life, since that night, you crummy …"

"Faith, enough!" Joyce shushes her.

Willow turns to Cordelia. "Move your ass!" She says in a voice low, quiet, and full of steel.

"Willow, don't tell me you believe this lunatic…" Her words fade away, seeing Willow's expression.

"Move, now," Willow says quietly, "… or I'm telling Joyce to let Faith go." She grabs Cordelia, and starts shoving her down the alley.

"I'm going, I'm going, god!"

They disappear down the alley when the turn into the rear parking lot.

"Why'd you stop me?" Faith turns on Joyce, angrily. "God dammit, Joyce, that girl nearly got Buffy raped and cost me … why did you interfere! Why didn't you let me …"

"What? Beat her senseless? What good would that do, other than get you throw in jail? Think I want to bail you out of jail?"

"It sure would've gone a long way to making me feel better," Faith grumbles.

"Oh great. You're feeling good, sitting in prison for the next few years. Don't you get it, Faith? That girl… her Father's rich. I mean, rich beyond anything. You hurt her, and he would have you in jail so fast, your head would spin. This isn't South Boston, Faith. You can't go beating up on someone just because!"

"What am I supposed to do, Joyce? Just lay back and take it? Let that… that… slut just ruin our lives, because she's some spoiled rich girl, and can do whatever she wants? That's just sweet, Joyce. What next? Bring back serfdom? Don't you get it? She ruined my life, she almost ruined Buffy's. I'm just supposed to TAKE THAT?" Faith's voice rises.

"Don't yell at me, Faith," Joyce bristles, setting her jaw. "Stop thinking with your fists and think with your head for once. Breaking her face isn't going to get anything done. Now, stay here, I'll take care of this. Think I can trust you to do that?"

Faith works her jaw, trying to suppress her rage. She finally swallows, and says in a dry voice. "I'll stay here. But if she or her girlfriend even looks at you wrong, I'm pounding the both of them into the pavement. NOTHING will stop me, get it, Joyce?"

"Just wait here, and try to calm down."

Joyce turns on her heel, and walks down towards where Willow and Cordelia went.

"Willow, you've got to believe me. I don't…"

"Don't EVEN talk, Cordelia! The more you talk, the worse it gets!"

Willow paces back and forth in front of Cordelia, her anger building with each step. She turns and confronts Cordelia.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Cor? Do you think I don't know you? Do you _really_ think I don't remember how some rumors got spread about me, so if I spoke up about that night, I'd probably look like an idiot? Oh, and by the way, that _wasn't _why I didn't say anything, FYI. But I do know you were behind those, and I know you're behind this. Don't know how, but you're involved. So, if you don't want to me to walk right now, don't even deny it."

Cordelia stands with her hands clenched, biting her lip.

"I was scared. I thought for sure if it got out, if she said anything to the police, the fraternity guys would tell on me, and I'd…"

"I get it," Willow cuts her off. "You were scared, so you decided to ruin her life, right? Nice, Cordelia, very nice. Don't you even _care_ who you hurt? Don't you care about anyone else but you?" Willow shakes her head. "I'm really beginning to wonder."

"I didn't know she went to UC Sunnydale. I just thought she was some bartender. I only told them to threaten to sue the bar, to get them to get her to keep her mouth shut. I didn't want her fired! I didn't even know she'd get kicked outta school! They did that on their own."

"You're still not getting it. It doesn't matter who did what. What matters is what you did in the first place. That was wrong. All of it; this latest is only a part of the whole. It was wrong. Do you see that?"

Cordelia stands there for a moment, unable to even look at Willow. The darkness hides her deep blush.

"Yeah," Cordelia says softly, almost whispering it. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Well, that's something, I guess," Willow sighs.

Joyce stands at the entrance of the alley. She listens, waiting for a chance to come over.

"I'm glad to see you understand what you did is wrong," Willow says, her voice calmer but still a little harsh." But that doesn't make right what you caused, do you understand?"

Cordelia nods.

"Good, because you can't just treat people this way, Cor. I don't care who you are, or who your family is, or how much money you have. You still owe others respect. You have no right to trample on them, ever."

"Yeah ok," Cordelia looks at the ground.

Willow reaches out, and lifts her chin. Cordelia is a little startled.

"Don't you ever look down when someone is speaking to you, Cordelia. Have enough respect for them, and for yourself, to look them in the face and admit you were wrong. Understand me?"

"Y-Yes," Cordelia bites her lip to keep back her tears.

"Good, maybe you'll remember to respect others too. Thing is, what you did is wrong. VERY wrong. You've gotta see that. You cost that woman everything, and nearly ruined Buffy's life. Being sorry isn't enough, is it?"

"No, it's not," Cordy again tries to lower her head, but Willow won't let her.

"I don't know who taught you that, but stop it. Look me in the face when you speak to me. Now, what do you think you should do now?"

"I'll fix this," Cordelia looks at her, "I promise. Whatever it takes, I'll fix this."

"I don't know if you can fix it, Cordelia. But I know you have to go to the University, and admit your role in this. Tell them the truth, and do what needs to be done to get Faith back in school. And especially, tell the truth about that fraternity. They can't be allowed to get away with this."

"But, I … they might arrest me. Or kick me out of school…"

"I don't think it'll come to that, but it really doesn't matter, does it?" Willow softens her tone, "I didn't say this would be easy, Cordelia. But you have to do this. Not for me or Faith, but for yourself. You have to learn to take responsibility for your actions. Know there are consequences."

"But I can't do that!" Cordelia cries, "I can't just throw everything away."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm not saying you have to take all the blame yourself, just tell the truth about what happened that night," Willow touches Cordelia's face. She winces. "She hit you pretty good. So, you think you can do that?"

"I… I don't know…"

"If you don't, I'll find a way to make it much worse for you. And that's not a bluff."

Both girls look up, startled, to see Joyce approaching them.

"I don't know how you could do this to my daughter, or to Faith. What did they ever do to you? I don't buy that scared bit. It was just cruel."

"It was just a game, just an initiation. It got out of hand. It wasn't supposed to be like that…"

Willow bites her lip, to keep quiet.

"Monopoly is a game," Joyce says contemptuously. "What you did is cruel and sick. You could've gotten my little girl raped. Does that even register with you? " She makes a frustrated noise. "How can you treat people like playthings? Just be glad Buffy wasn't seriously hurt. If she had been…" Joyce trails off, her anger too great. "… nothing, NOTHING would've stopped me from seeing you go to jail. Understand that? Not your daddy, not your money, NOTHING!"

Cordelia is trembling. She very much believes Joyce.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good, I'm glad to see you understand that. Because that still doesn't make this right. You hurt my friend. You cost her a place at the university, and her job. So, you better fix this. You better make this right, or so help me, I'll make you very, very sorry."

"And I'll help her, Cordelia," Willow speaks up. "I have the medical reports from what happened to me, and I'm willing to turn them over to the police with my testimony. Whatever happens, unless you make this right, we're very much over." She walks to Cordelia, flanking her. "And so is my silence." She watches Cordelia, to see if the bluff works.

Cordelia nods her agreement, not trusting her voice.

"Ok, then, come with me." Joyce grabs her and pulls her along.

"What?" Cordelia stumbles along, startled.

"You're going to apologize to Faith about your role in this, and tell her you'll find a way to fix her problem."

"Oh, geeze, the crazy girl?" Cordelia looks heavenward. "All right, ok, but she's not going to attack me again, is she?"

"I won't let her attack you," Joyce says, "but I can't really blame her." She turns to Cordelia. "If anything had happened to Buffy, I'd attack you."

Cordy is about to make a smart remark until she sees Joyce's eyes. Then she decides silence is the best bet.

They walk back to the front of the bar, to see Faith squatting down by the entrance. She quickly gets to her feet, moving towards them.

"What is she doing here?" Faith steps in front of them.

The three women stop, Cordelia taking a step back to avoid being attacked again.

"Cordelia, don't you have something to say?" Joyce says, pulling the girl forward.

"Cordy…" Willow helps bring Cordelia to the fore.

"I'm… I'm sorry," She says, a little nervously.

"Well, that's just great. That and a buck will get you a roll of toilet paper."

"Faith? What did I say about using your brain?" Joyce reminds her.

"Fine, whatever, you're sorry. That's great. Does that get me my job back? Does that get me back in school? I don't think so." Faith waves her hand, and turns away, stewing.

"Look," Cordelia walks up to her, tense in case Faith makes a move. "I didn't know they were going to go so far. I only told them to threaten the bar with a suit, if you didn't shut up. I didn't know they'd get you fired, or booted from school. I didn't even _know_ you went to school there."

"So, you admit you were part of it, right? You set that up?"

Cordelia pauses a little, then nods.

"Don't you have something else to say?" Willow pokes Cordelia.

"Not really sure I'm interested in hearing it," Faith looks over at Joyce, just wanting to leave.

Joyce doesn't say a word.

"Hear her out, please, Faith?"

Faith looks at Willow, then frowns, and then turns to Cordelia.

"Go on, I'm listening."

"I'll fix this. I'll get you reinstated with the school, and find a way to get you back your job. Or something better. Ok? I promise."

"Fine. We'll see how that works out," Faith says, her jaw tight. "And I'll give you a promise back. If you ever pull anything like this again on anyone I care about, you won't have a chance to fix it. That's not a threat, it's a promise."

"I won't…"

"Good. Glad to hear it," Faith turns to Joyce. "Look, can we just go now? I'm tired, I'm bleeding, and I really don't like the company." She glares at Cordelia.

Joyce nods, and they start to walk away

"Do you think I can get a ride with you guys?" Willow calls out to Joyce.

"Ok, Willow," Joyce says, quietly. "Just don't be long, ok?"

"Ok."

Faith and Joyce disappear up the alley.

"What's that about? I'll take you home."

"No, I don't think so," Willow reaches out, touching Cordelia's cheek. "Go home and take care of that. You look like you're gonna have a pretty good shiner there."

"God, what is you're problem?" Cordelia shakes her head. "I said I'll make it right, and I will. I brought you here, and I'll take you home."

"See, now there you go with the attitude again, Cor. You really got to work on that. The date's over, you're hurt, and I live out of your way. I can catch a ride with Joyce. I live close to her."

"But…" Cordelia, despite Willow's assurances, is worried.

"No buts, Mister. Go home and take care of yourself. That's an order." She smiles just a little. "You did good, as long as you follow through, ok? I'll call you."

"Why won't you let me take you home?" Cordelia insists. "Are you mad at me?"

"Aren't you even listening to me? Yes, I'm a little upset, but …" Willow shakes her head, "… you know what? I shouldn't have to keep explaining this to you. I thought you were smarter than that. I'll see you."

Willow walks towards the rear parking lot, Cordelia watching her go.

She's infuriated, and confused, and sad.

She just doesn't get it.

8

"DADDY!"

He walks to her, and opening his arms, receives her in a hug.

Buffy, so happy to see her dad, almost throws herself into his arms, plastering herself against him, wriggling a little in excitement.

Feeling her body against his, so warm, so soft, he feels some stirrings down in his crotch area, but he pushes them down. _God, Hank. What if Joyce is home?_

"Hi, honey," Hank smiles, Buffy still holding onto him. "How are you?"

"I'm ok, Dad," Buffy slips out of his arms. He hears a catch in her voice. "What're you doing here?"

"Gee, I didn't know I had to make an appointment to see my daughters these days. I guess your social lives are just too busy for your old dad, huh?"

"Of course not, silly," She grins, grabbing his hand. "C'mon in here!"

Smiling, she leads him into the living room, and sits him on the couch.

"Sorry, I was doing a little cleaning up…" She blushes a little. "It wasn't all about dancing around like a moron."

"I was kind of wondering about that? What is my girl doing home on Friday night, playing Cinderella and cleaning up while everyone else is out? I really expected your mom to be here…"

"So, you really came to see mom?" There's a slight catch in her voice.

"Well, yes. But only to talk to her about me being around here more. I miss you guys terribly, especially my princess." He smiles at her. "So, why're you home, again?"

"Oh, yeah," Buffy's mood deflates. "I'm on restriction."

"Is that so? Why? What did you do?"

Buffy hesitates, not wanting her dad mad at her too.

"Buff-Puff?" Hank says, using her nickname to relax her. "It's ok, I won't be upset." He pats the sofa next to him. "Sit down and tell me."

Buffy does, reluctantly.

"I… well, you see dad, I wanted to get back on the cheerleaders. So I agreed to go to a party that the head cheerleader was throwing, and well, things got out of hand, and I… well, I got in some trouble, and if Faith hadn't been there to help me, I don't know what would've happened, but …"

"Faith?" Hank frowns. _That name is familiar. Why?_

"Oh yeah, you don't know her. She's like totally cool. She goes to the university…" Buffy stops, and frowns. "Well, went to the university, and she's like living her now, in the basement, renting a room, and she well… she got into trouble because of me."

"I'm not following, Buffy. What was Faith doing at a high school party if she's in college?"

"No, the party was at the college, you see. The Alpha Mu fraternity."

"You went to a college party?" Hank asks. "A fraternity party?"

"Yeah…" Buffy looks down.

"Well, tell me the rest." Hank doesn't sound pleased.

"Well, we were at the party, upstairs, and I guess someone slipped something in my drink…"

"You were drinking!"

"Just one beer, daddy. Honest!"

"You're too young to be drinking." Hank sighs. "Go on."

"Well, you see, someone must've slipped something in my drink, cuz I'm kind of fuzzy about stuff after. I remember feeling really good, I mean, _really good_ and then I think I was dancing on a table…"

"Oh, god," Hank groans.

Buffy blushes a deep pink. "Sorry, daddy."

"Just go on, Buffy," Hanks says, frowning.

"Well, after that… I'm not sure. I think some of the guys got rough. I thought they were playing around at first, but then they started tearing at my clothing… I think…"

"Oh, Buffy," Hank sounds angry and disappointed.

"Oh, daddy, I'm so sorry. I…" She hugs herself, "I really screwed up. If Faith hadn't been there…"

"She was at this party?"

"She was working there. As a bartender, downstairs. She was upstairs, I think she said, to deliver a keg, and heard me screaming."

"Screaming." Hank is beyond belief

"Anyway, she rushed in, and waded in, and got me out." She puts her arm on her father's arm. "She saved me, daddy."

"I'd like to meet this girl and thank her. That was pretty brave," He looks around. "Is she here?"

"No, she had to go out. Do some errands or something, she said."

"Oh, well, maybe another time. So, how did she come to be living here, Buffy?"

"Well, mom offered her a place after she brought me home. I guess she felt grateful for her looking out for me, and all. Anyway, I guess her rent was high where she was living, because she accepted."

"And she's living downstairs in the basement? Isn't that a little restrictive? Young girl and all, want to get out and you know, do things."

"Oh, no, no problemo, daddy. Mom gave her a key, and she's around a lot. Doesn't go out much, really. Especially since she got fired."

"Fired?"

"Yeah, and booted from school."

Hank looks confused.

"That was my fault. The fraternity brought charges against her for assault and destruction of property. If I hadn't been there, she'd still be in school. And the bar where she worked fired her. The Fraternity threatened to sue them if they didn't fire her." Buffy feels all of three inches tall. "I really messed up bad, dad." She looks close to tears.

"Yes, I'm afraid you really did, Buffy," Hank looks at her sorrowful face, and relents a little. "But we all make mistakes, honey. As long as you learn from them, that's the thing."

"But I don't… or I don't seem to," Buffy's lip trembles a little. "I messed up last year, really bad, and you and mom… you…"

"Honey, no," Hank puts an arm around her. "What happened between your mom and me, that had nothing to do with you. I admit, it didn't make life easier, but you had nothing to do with us breaking up, ok?"

Buffy looks away.

"Buffy, it didn't, ok?"

"Yeah," She says, her tone saying she doesn't believe him. "I guess you wanna see mom now."

"Is she here?" Hank looks around.

"No, but she's at the Gallery. I can call her…"

"That's all right, honey. I'll see her later," He looks at her carefully. "I'm more concerned about you right now."

"Why bother? I'm just a big old screw up anyway. You're mad at me, just like the rest of them." She rises from the couch.

"Buffy, I'm not mad at you. Disappointed, yes, but not mad."

"Really?" Her tone is a little disbelieving. She really wants to believe him.

"Buffy, I love you, whatever you do. Come back and sit by me, ok?"

She does, a little reluctantly. Hank puts his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"What's up, princess? Something's bothering you, I can tell," Hank hugs her.

"It's nothing, really…" Buffy shrugs. She snuggles a little under his arm.

"Honey, when something's bothering you, it's not nothing. Especially to me. Now, please, tell me what's going on."

"Really, it's just…" Her tone lowers, "It just seems no one wants to be with me, not that I can blame them…"

"Buffy, that's silly. Everyone loves you."

"No, they don't!" Buffy cries, turning to him, "they hate me! And I don't blame them!"

"Buffy? What do you mean, hate you? Who hates you?"

"Everybody. And they should!" She throws her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. "I…I've been such a screw up, lately. Causing so much trouble for everyone. God, I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I just stop being such a problem? Why can't I just be happy?"

"Shhh, shhh…it's ok, baby…" Hank holds her with both arms, stroking an arm over her arm and back. He feels the warmth of her body, and her softness, and he gives into the feeling, enjoying the warm rush running through his body. "Honey, it's ok."

"It's not, it's really not," Buffy cries softly, clinging to him. "I hate myself, and I hate how everyone feels being around me."

"Princess, look at me," He gently pushes her away. " Look, baby. You're a sweet, loving girl, and no matter what you do, I'll always love you. You're my sweet little princess, and you'll always be that. Nothing will ever change that. I love you, Buffy."

"I love you so much, Daddy," Buffy throws herself at him again, pushing up closely to him. "I miss you sooo much."

"I miss you too, princess," Hank says, his breathing become shallower. "You're my sweet girl."

His hand wanders over her back, and down to her butt. He strokes it gently.

"Mmmm… daddy." Buffy looks up at him, a gleam in her eye. "I love you…"

Her hand wanders over to his lap, and she begins to stroke his thigh. She nuzzles her face into his neck, her lips touching his neck.

"I love you, Buffy," Hank is panting a little. He feels a tightness in his trousers.

He moves his hand over her buttocks, and between her legs. She parts her legs a little bit.

"Let me show you how much I love you, Daddy. Like we used to?" She mumbles in her neck. Her hand wanders over to his crotch, rubbing lightly.

"You don't have to, honey. I know," Hank says huskily. He strokes her a little harder between her thighs.

"But, I want to, Daddy!" She pulls away a little, turning to look at his crotch. She begins to play with his zipper. "Don't you want me to?"

"Yes," His voice is hoarse with passion.

"Do you love me, Daddy? Am I your special princess?"

"Always, princess. Always."

She starts to unzip his pants when the front door opens, and bangs shut. There are voices in the foyer.

"Hey, we're home!" Dawn calls out. "Buffy? Where are you?"

Hank and Buffy quickly scramble, adjusting clothes and standing up.

"In here, Squirt!" Buffy calls out from the living room.

"Hey, what's going… dad?" Dawn stops in the entrance to the living room. "DADDY!"

She runs over, throwing herself into Hanks arms. He picks her up and swings her around.

"Heya, Punkin-Belly!" Hank laughs.

"Gee, older guy. Cute pet names. Calls him Daddy," Xander turns to Buffy, a strange look on his face. "Should I be jealous?"

"Gross, Xander!" Buffy grimaces. "That's our dad."

"Oh," Xander nods wisely, feeling foolish.

"Who's that, Dawn?" Hank smiles at Xander. "Do I know you?"

"I don't think so, sir," Xander comes in, walking over to Hank. "I'm Xander, Dawn and Buffy's friend."

"Dawn's boyfriend," Buffy corrects, her tone a little caustic. "So, what happened, squirt? Did Xander already run out of poop?"

"No," Dawn looks at her, frowning a little. "We just felt bad that you were here alone, and we thought we'd come by and keep you company," She turns to her Dad. " Guess you weren't alone though, huh?"

"Oh yeah, cuz you know how I just _love_ being the third wheel, Dawn." Buffy smirks at Xander. " We were doing ok by ourselves."

"Yeah, well, he's my dad too, Buffy." She turns to Hank. "Hi dad! Long see no time! Good to see you," She hugs him again.

"So, this is the boyfriend?" Hank asks, looking at Xander. "Do I like him or not, Punkin-Belly?"

"Oh dad, please. That's my baby name!" Dawn protests, but not too much. "And yeah, Xander's a nice guy."

"Well, hey, I try," Xander smiles. He offers his hand to Hank. "It's nice to meet you, Dawn and Buffy's dad."

"Most people call me Hank," Hank returns the shake. "But, I think Dawn and Buffy's dad works too." He coughs. "What's a guy got to do to get a cup of coffee around here?"

"Didn't you offer dad any coffee, Buffy? Geeze!" Dawn turns towards the kitchen. "I'll make some. I think we have some of that cinnamon spice bundt cake left, too."

"That sounds good, " Hank and Xander say at the same time. They laugh.

"Well, c'mon then, it won't cut itself."

The three of them leave towards the kitchen, Buffy following in the rear.

No one sees the angry look she throws at Dawn, or the tightness of her lips.

To be continued.


	18. Chapter 18

A change of seasons, Part16

1

"Faith, be careful!"

Faith pulls the SUV out into traffic quickly; a little too quickly. A smaller car nearly sideswiped them as she pulled out, blaring its horn at them.

"Stupid California drivers. Where did ya get your license, creep? In a crackerjack box?" Faith grumbles as she heads down the street. "Idiot!"

"You nearly hit that guy as you pulled out. Weren't you looking?" Joyce asks from the backseat, where she's riding with Willow. "Pull over. Maybe I should drive home."

"I can drive just fine, Joyce. I've been doing it since I was fourteen. Can I help it that guy was some wussy who can't look where he's going and drives by horn?"

"You're obviously upset, and not paying attention …."

Faith muscles the SUV over to the side of the road, causing a few more horns to blare when she cuts them off suddenly. She pulls up to the curb, and puts on the emergency brake.

"Look, I'm driving like I always drive, ok? I can handle this just fine. I've driven an 18 wheeler before, Joyce. Have you?"

"No, but…"

"So, I can handle the mom-mobile just fine, ok? Just let me drive, and you and Willow there have a nice chat, ok?"

"You don't have to snap my head off, Faith," Joyce sounds more than a little hurt.

"Whatever," Faith growls, pulling back out into traffic.

Faith is very angry. Angry at Cordelia, for messing up her life for no better reason than she's a spoiled brat playing games used to getting her own way. _And they let her get away with it. That's what burns so much. She even TRIES to pull this kinda crap in Southie, and they'd hang her by her short hairs… after shaving her head!_

If Joyce and Willow hadn't been there, she would've beaten that girl to a nub. _Yeah, and then go to jail for how long?_

She's also pissed because, once again, just as she's getting herself on track, God or whoever comes along and slaps her right back down.

_All I'm trying to do here is get my life in order, make myself somebody, and crapolla shitola shinola. I get the royal ass screwing, again! Bogus to the extreme. What's the deal here, God? Do you just hate me? Do you LIKE torturing me? Or maybe I'm nothing but white trash. Is that what your telling me? Don't EVEN bother to make myself better, because I can't BE any better! What the fuck? Why should I even try?_

_Why didJoyce_ _stop me? I so had her, she should've let me pound her. At least a little more. God, after what she tried to do to Buffy? She should've been handing me the pipes to hit her upside the head. What's her deal? Why protect her?_

_Her deal, moronic one, is that she loves you. Don't you get that, YET? She's trying to protect you, not her! God, stupid much? She maybe would rather you be around, than sit in jail for assault and battery and who knows what else. Yeah, that Joyce. A real pain in your ass. One that you so can't live without._

_The big loser here tonight, Faith? You! Got it? You, because you nearly lost it, and really could've killed that girl. Not that she doesn't deserve it, but you're moaning because things don't go your way, but did it occur to you that you often sabotage your own chances? Is it really worth going to jail for that stupid bitch? No, it's not, but your dumb Irish temper almost got you there tonight. She messed you up, but you can bounce back from that. Messing yourself up? That's plain stupid!_

Knowing that doesn't help her anger, however. As she drives along in the night, her nerves are crackly fragile, her insides feel all twisted up, and all she can feel is the anger rising off her in waves. She's mad, and she wants something to hit. Something to break and make things feel better.

_Ya, and you better get that temper in control, real soon. Cuz one of these days you're going to lose it, and lose the most important thing in your life. Got it moron?_

Faith suddenly becomes aware that Joyce and Willow are talking about Cordelia, and that Willow is trying to excuse her behavior.

"…that doesn't excuse what she did…"

"Damn right it don't, " Faith butts in from the front seat. " Poor little rich girl. Her daddy neglected her. My heart's breakin' here."

"Faith…"

"No, Joyce, I'm sorry. I'm listening to this claptrap, and it's bogus. "

"What do you know about it?" Willow says, defensively. "She's had it pretty…"

"Oh, gimme a break. Look, kid, I grew up in a bad neighborhood. The kind where a lot of the parents are druggies or drunks. I've seen kids beaten up, neglected, all sortsa crap. Most of them don't go around doing what you're little girlfriend did. That's just plain evil…"

"She's not evil. You don't know …"

"I know this, kiddo. I know if you hang with that bitch, you're in for a world of hurt. If your smart…" Faith glances around quickly "… you'll run far and fast from her. She's bad news. And she's gonna hurt you. If you don't know that, then you're not as smart as I think you are…"

"I love her!"

Willow's face looks almost as shocked at the admission as Joyce's does at hearing it.

"Oh, geeze," is all Faith can say from the front seat.

"You love her, Willow?" Joyce asks, taking her hand. "Oh, Willow, I think Faith might be right. That might lead to something you really don't want…"

"Mrs. Summers. Please, I know she did something awful… I trust you when you say that. She's made some mistakes, but she's really… not evil…" She almost glares at Faith.

Faith makes a quick left, pulling into a service station. She drives forward to the pump. Stopping, she turns to face Willow.

"Look, Willow. I know you think I'm angry just because of this…" She points at the cheek Joyce bandaged earlier while they were waiting for Willow. "And about what she did to me and tried to do with Buffy. Yeah, sure, I'm angry about that, but this is more. I know her, Willow. I've met her kind too many times. She's in it for herself, and she doesn't give a rat's butt about you or you're feelings. Be smart, dump her. It'll hurt bad now, but it'll be worse later if she …" Faith shakes her head, seeing she's not getting through.

"You just don't know," Willow retreats into the corner, "you don't know anything about it. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Faith, why'd we stop?" Joyce tries to change the subject.

"Well, we're on fumes, Joyce. Figured we better get gas before we're out pushing the car, you know?"

"Good idea. Really not up for that… do you need money?"

"Naw, I'm ok, Joy…"

"It's ok, don't worry about it." Joyce retrieves her purse, pulling out some money. "I don't suppose they'd have anything to eat here…?"

"Depends. What's your definition of food?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm starved. Pretty sure you are too… didn't get anything to eat." She turns to Willow. "Did you want anything, Willow?"

"No, that's ok. I'm a vegan. I really can't eat meat." She wrinkles her brow. "Or whatever that junk is they put in the burritos."

Joyce chuckles. "Ok, dear. Get us something to eat, would you, Faith?"

"Yeah, ok. Be back."

Faith jumps out of the drivers seat, and heads for the mini mart on the lot.

Joyce watches her go, feeling a small knot forming in her stomach. She knows Faith is just a bundle of mad, and is barely holding her temper in check.

She's a little startled when a hand covers hers. She turns to see Willow looking at her with some concern.

"Are you ok, Mrs. Summers?" Willow asks, squeezing her hand.

"Hmmm? Yes, I'm fine," She smiles a little. "How about you? I know Faith can get a little rough sometimes."

"I get it. I'm thinking she's not angry at me so much as… well, I guess concerned…"

"She means well. I know she cares… that's just her nature…" Joyce turns to Willow, patting her hand. "I know you're a good person, Willow. I like you. I don't want to see you get hurt, and I have to agree with Faith. This Cordelia seems like bad news."

"I know what I'm doing, Mrs. Summers," Willow insists, turning away a little.

Joyce sighs internally. _Can't help her if she doesn't want help._

For a beat, they sit silently, both feeling the awkwardness.

"So, ummm… are you gay now, Mrs. Summers?" Willow asks, to break the silence.

"I'm sorry?" Joyce looks straight ahead, taken aback.

"You're bi, then?"

"Bi? What's that?" Joyce looks confused and a little affronted.

"I mean, I thought you and… oh…" Willow's flustered.

Faith and I are just friends, we were suppose to be celebrating and she suggested this place, and…" Joyce fumbles a little, not sure exactly what to tell Willow.

"Oh. OH, right, sure," Willow nods. "I'd heard some straight women come there when they get tired of being hit on in regular bars. Just, I've never met one before…" She smiles a tiny smile. "So, how do you and …" She nods her head towards the convenience store, "… know each other."

"She does have a name, Willow," Joyce puts on a mother-like tone. "Faith."

"I'm sorry," reacting to the tone automatically. "Faith, right."

"She lives with me…"

"Excuse me?" Willow's eyes go a little wider.

"I mean, she lives in my house… downstairs, in the basement," Joyce almost stumbles over the words getting them out. "she was a student, and she needed a place, and she helped out with Buffy, and I thought it would be the right thing to offer her a place cheap. And she helps out around the house and with the girls, sometimes. "

Willow doesn't say a word; she just stares at Joyce.

"She's from Boston, you see," Joyce goes on, a little nervously. "I met her last summer while on an art buying trip in the East. She was working at a museum, and we had lunch together. I told her about Sunnydale, and I guess she liked what I said, because she showed up here …" She notices Willow's look. "Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no. Just, seems kind of strange, don't you think? Coming across the country to go to… I'm not saying UC Sunnydale isn't a good school, but there are lots of schools in the east. I'm wondering why she came all the way across country to go here?"

"Well, she said she wanted to come to California, I guess she decided to do that."

"Sure, sure," Willow nods. " But that still doesn't explain something?"

"What?"

"Oh, just I've seen the way she looks at you," Willow says, "and it looks more than casual to me. And the way you danced at the club? Looked like more than just friends."

Joyce is glad it's dark in the truck, to hide her deep blush. "I'm sorry, but I really don't know what you mean, Willow. Faith and I are friends," Joyce says quietly. "I think you're seeing things that just aren't there." _Lie much, Joyce? Oh, only all the time._

"Mrs. Summers, I wasn't trying to 'out' you or anything, I just wondered…"

"There's simply nothing to wonder about, Willow." Joyce says, a little sternly. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't share these speculations with my daughters. They're having enough trouble adjusting to a new place and new school. I don't think they need this on top of everything else."

"I'm sorry, I got a little too personal," Willow bites her lip. "Look, let's just pretend this conversation never happened, ok? My lips are sealed."

"Thank you," Joyce says, settling back into her seat. She closes her eyes for a moment.

_Why'd you do that? Why'd you lie to her? Because, frankly, I don't need this being spread around as gossip. And maybe, I'm not really sure about what I am. Maybe I just can't deal with this right now. _

_Or maybe, the idea of being gay might just scare you…_

The silence grows longer.

"You know, Willow, my girls are very fond of you." Joyce breaks the silence, finally.

"Really," Willow is quite pleased. "I like them a lot too."

"Buffy and Dawn both speak highly of you. I trust their judgment; they've made some mistakes in the past…" Joyce sighs a little, thinking how Buffy has made a lot of mistakes lately, "… but generally they're good judges of character."

"Why, thank you Mrs. Summers." Willow smiles broadly.

"I guess that's why it disturbs me so; You're a good kid, but you're hanging out with this Chase girl… How do you know her, anyway?"

Willow's smile fades a little. _Oh, oh, I feel a lecture coming on._

"We, well we were an item a year or so ago. But there were some problems, and we broke up. We've been kind of off again and on again, know what I mean?"

Joyce nods, knowing exactly what Willow means.

"I'm still finding it hard to believe what she did to Buffy…" Willow looks thoughtful.

"She never mentioned anything about Buffy or the party that night?"

"No, ma'am … not to me…" _God, dance around the truth, why don't you?_ "… I'm…I'm really shocked here, you know?" _LIAR!_

"How'd you meet her, Willow? I know you go to school together, but it must've been more than just being classmates. I don't know if it's changed a lot, but it used to be there were pretty strong social groups in school, and you hardly ever dated out of them. Maybe it's different now…"

"Well… actually, Mr. Chase… that's Cordelia's father, hired me to tutor Cordelia." She looks at the other woman, and sighs. "Look, I'm not trying to defend whatever she did, but Mr. Chase is a real bastard."

"Willow…" Joyce protests.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Summers, but it's true. He doesn't treat Cordelia like a daughter. God, he doesn't even treat her like a human. He treats her like he treats the rest of his stuff… she's a possession, nothing more. She's expected to do certain things, be a certain way, and if she doesn't do that…" Willow shakes her head. "He ignores her. I know doesn't sound like much, but I've never once see him look at her with any fatherly affection. She's like a pretty doll. Dress her up nice to show off, but she belongs to him, nothing more. She's not even really real to him… do you see what I mean?"

"Yes, I do," Joyce nods sympathetically. "That's a terrible thing to do to a child, I agree. But that really doesn't excuse what she did to Faith, or Buffy. Do you see that? Two wrongs don't make it right."

Willow looks down at the floor, not speaking.

_God, Joyce, why don't you just beat on her? Why so rough? Afraid she'll figure out about you and Faith? Sometimes, I wonder how much of an adult you really are. _

"I think I'll go check on Faith. She's been gone for awhile." Joyce slides out, closing the door behind her.

"Ok, Mrs. Summers," Willow says to the empty seat beside her.

She watches Joyce walk away, and she can't help feeling a little angry.

_Who does she think she is? Judging me and Cor? I mean, c'mon, does she think I'm stupid? Who does she really think she's kidding? It's obvious they're a couple. Why is she denying it? Does she think if she doesn't acknowledge it, it'll go away? Glass houses, Joyce. Shouldn't be throwing stones if you're living in one…_

Willow sighs… _God, harsh much, Willow? After all, it's can't be easy for her. She grew up in a different time, when being gay was considered a moral and mental disease. She can't just chuck that off, and what she's going through must be tough on her. Really tough. It's not easy for me, and it was a lot worse when she was growing up. Maybe you should worry about your own affairs, and let her take care of hers. _

Joyce stands looking into the convenience store window, watching Faith talking animatedly to the sales girl behind the counter. She's a lot closer to Faith's age than Joyce, and rather attractive. Even from here, not hearing what Faith is saying to her, Joyce can tell she's flirting with the girl.

Joyce can't help the strong twinge of jealousy that suffuses through her.

She thinks about what's happened since Faith arrived here, how many times Faith has taken it on the chin for her or her family, and she feels her stomach tighten.

_Can you blame her, really? She's given me a lot, and what have I done, really, for her? I'm afraid to even admit my feelings to anyone… or maybe she's growing tired of me. Maybe I'm holding her back… _

_Oh, grow up, Joyce, she's just flirting a little bit. It's not like she's cheating on you. God, get real. She's done nothing but prove again and again how much she cares for you. Are you so insecure that you're going to get jealous every time she looks at another woman? Get over yourself, it's nothing…_

But it hurts a little, nonetheless. And the fear, after Hank and his little 'flirtations', leaves her feeling weak and old and not very attractive. She turns away, before Faith can spot her, and walks back to the SUV.

"Hey, so did you find Faith?" Willow asks. She notices Joyce's expression, "Mrs. Summers? What's wrong?"

"Hmmm? Oh, I'm just thinking I owe you an apology." Joyce sits next to Willow. "I shouldn't have been so judgmental about you and Cordelia. I realize you can't help who you love. I just… I don't want to see you get hurt…"

"Thanks, Mrs. Summers, that really means a lot to me, " Willow reaches over, taking her hand and squeezing it. "And I owe you an apology too. I had no right to get so pushy about you and Faith. I mean, it's none of my business, and I'm sorry for being such a nosy parker."

"It's all right, honey. You were just curious," Joyce says, quickly looking away.

Willow senses something else, something Joyce wants to say and isn't saying… but she holds back, not wanting to intrude again.

"Still, I was wrong to make assumptions. You know, assumptions… makes an ass out of you and me, right?" Willow jokes.

" Willow. I lied to you just now," Joyce admits in a soft voice.

"Joyce, you don't have to tell me… it's ok…" Willow tries to stop her.

"No, I want to. I admire how… open you are about it," Joyce takes a deep breath. "There is something between Faith and me. I'm not exactly sure what it is, or what it makes me, but I know how I feel about her…"

Willow puts an arm around Joyce's shoulder, and hugs her.

"That took a lot of guts, Mrs. Summers. I know it's not easy admitting how you feel about her…"

"Yeah, that's me. Gutsy Joyce," Joyce smiles ruefully. "I mean, look at you. From what Dawn's told me, you've been open about being … gay… for a long time. I can't even say the word easily."

"Look, Mrs. Summers, I had a hard time admitting to myself, too. But I also got tired of pretending to be something I wasn't," Willow shrugs. "That doesn't mean it wasn't hard. It was, and it still is."

"I'm scared, Willow. I'll admit it. I mean, look at me. I'm a mom, and Faith is so much younger than me. She could be with anyone she wants… why is she hanging around with an old mom like me?"

"Mrs. Summers, did something happen?" Willow looks at her with concern.

"I went to check on her, and she was kind of flirting with the store clerk. The pretty young _female_ store clerk. I guess I just …

"Got jealous?" Willow laughs knowingly. "Trust me, it's not just you. And…" She nods to herself more than Joyce, "I saw the way she fought for you and Buffy tonight. Like a momma bear for her cubs, you know? I dunno, I'm just a kid, but that says love to me." _And I'm totally jealous? Oh yeah! When did anyone named Cordelia fight for me? Really?_

"I know she cares for me…" She sees Willows little smirk. "Ok, loves me. But she wants me to be … is the expression 'Out' ?"

"Yeah, as in out of the closet."

"Oh, so that's what that expression means. I never knew that." Joyce nods knowingly. "That makes a lot more sense now… anyway, she wants me out, and I…"

You're not ready?" Willow smiles when Joyce nods. "Look I know you'll feel a lot better, more confident about things when you finally 'come out'. But you can't rush it, you gotta do it when you're ready. Don't let anyone make you do it otherwise, ok? Not even Faith," She smiles, "don't worry, I won't tell anyone. It'll be our little secret, Mrs. Summers."

"Well, if we're going to be sharing secrets, then I guess you better call me Joyce."

"Secret? Who's got a secret?" Faith's head pops in the driver's window. "What's the what, guys?"

"Nothing…nobody…" Joyce says. "Just a little friendly gossip.

"Yeah, we were just trying to guess the Colonel's secret recipe." Willow giggles.

Faith looks at them, and frowns.

"Well, you two are goof balls," She says, opening the door. She slides in and hands Joyce a bag over her shoulder. "Here you go. Careful, it's hot."

Joyce takes the bag, and puts it on the seat

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry now."

Faith looks at her through the rear view mirror.

"Whatever, " She says, starting up the engine. "So, where am I taking you, Willow?"

"Not far. I live close to Adams and Main."

"Cool. Buckle up."

Faith puts the SUV in drive and pulls out of the service station.

2

Faith turns into the driveway to the Revello Drive house, and pulls the SUV up to the garage. She kills the motor, and leans on the wheel.

"Well, we're home," Faith states the obvious.

"Yes, we are…" Joyce sighs, still staring out her window.

The drive from Willow's house, and then home was strained at best.

It was obvious to Joyce that Faith was still brooding over the fight at the restaurant, and she barely said a word after they left Willow's house.

Joyce, for her part, was still feeling a little off about seeing Faith flirting, even though she knew it was innocent. That, and Willow asking her about being gay had her caught up in her own little world.

It was beginning to get a little scary for Joyce. Up to now, it had been all about … well, the loving. But now there was this new element. She knew in her heart Faith wasn't going to wait around forever for her to come out and admit they had an intimate relationship. She knew it wasn't fair to Faith not to be open about it.

But that didn't make it easier for her. Only harder._ How will Buffy and Dawn react to it? That their mom is … oh geeze, I can't even say it in my head! GAY, Joyce! GAY! Buffy is already half convinced I drove her father away. If she learns that I'm having an affair with Faith, what then? She'll … crap, this isn't working._

Joyce slides out of the car, and walks towards the front door. She pauses a moment.

"Faith, do you think you could get the cans from the back and bring them out front? The trash is picked up tomorrow morning."

Faith locks the SUV, tossing Joyce the keys.

"Yeah, sure, no prob." She walks around the side of the yard to the back.

Joyce watches her go, shaking her head.

_I just don't know. I just wish this were easier. God, how am I gonna deal with it if Buffy and Dawn aren't happy about this? What if they decide they want to live with their father? Oh, that would be just …. Damn._

Joyce walks to the front door and opens it. Stepping into the foyer, she sees a light in the living room. She frowns.

_God, how many times do I have to tell the girls to turn out all the lights before going to bed? Can't they even remember one little thing?_

She walks over towards the living room when a voice greets her.

"Do you ever get home before midnight?"

_What? Oh… no! Not now! God, not now! What does he want?_

"Henry, what're you doing here?" Joyce moves into the living room, obviously not pleased.

"Hello, Joyce. It's good to see you too," Hank Summers stands up, looking at his watch, "though it's rather late for you to be coming home, don't you think?"

Joyce frowns. "Excuse me? Exactly how is that your business?"

"Well, when you leave the girls alone all night, I'm rather concerned."

Joyce looks at him with some surprise at his chutzpah, and almost laughs out loud.

"I really hope you're not going for father of the year here, Hank, because frankly, you're going to lose." Joyce walks over to the sofa, sitting down. "So, why are you here again? Other than to make me laugh, that is?"

"I came to see my daughters. Is there a problem with that?"

"No, as long as you tell me first, Hank. I really don't enjoy these little late night surprises you keep arranging."

"Maybe if you were home once in awhile, it wouldn't be such a surprise. Every time I come here, you're out."

"Well, maybe if you acted like an interested father and came around more than once in awhile," Joyce's tone grows a bit impatient, "You'd catch me at home… which I am most nights. But this on again/ off again concern for the girls' welfare? It's getting old."

"I care about my daughters, and I don't like you trying to keep them away from me."

"No one is 'keeping them away' from you, except you, Hank. I can count on one hand how many times you've been here in the last few months. It's not exactly the schedule of a 'concerned' father."

"I really don't like the idea that I have to call you to get your permission to see Buffy and Dawn!"

"It's not about getting permission, Hank. It's about letting _me_ know you're coming. I don't like being surprised by you," Joyce's voice takes on a tinge of anger. "Not after that little beating you gave me…"

"Well, maybe if you hadn't…"

Hank is interrupted by a voice coming from the foyer.

"Hey, Joyce, I think you left your lights on. Do you have the keys…"

Faith's voice trails off when she enters the living room to see Hank Summers sitting on the couch.

"What's he doing here?" Faith asks Joyce, staring at Hank.

"He was just leaving," Joyce says.

"No, I'm not, Joyce," Hank reaches into his coat, pulling out an envelope. He hands it to Joyce. She takes it, and opens it.

"What's this?"

"It's a copy of a court order, Joyce. In it, you'll see I've been granted unrestricted rights to see my daughters. Anytime, anyplace."

Joyce read over the document, her cheeks flaming to a bright red. She looks up.

"Why wasn't I informed of this?"

"We tried to serve you, but the process server could never quite get ahold of you," Hank smirks, "So, I published a notice in an LA paper for a couple of weeks. Since I couldn't reach you, the judgment is by default."

"Well, this is a new low, Henry," Joyce says with barely concealed anger. "All you had to do was pick up a phone and call me…"

" How did I know you hadn't changed the number?"

"At the Gallery?"

"Gee, I never had that number, Joyce." Hank is all innocence.

"This is illegal, Hank. I'm going to get it thrown out," Joyce threatens.

"Try it, Joyce, and I'll fight you with everything I got. They're my daughters, too, and I have a right to see them."

"Some father you are, Hank. You couldn't be bothered with them until now. What's up, what's the real reason for this?" She waves the document at him.

"I told you!" Hank stands up, pulling himself up to tower over Joyce, " They're my daughters, and I want to be able to see them anytime and anyplace I want to!"

"Well, it's not going to be here, Henry Summers. I'm calling my lawyer in the morning, and he'll find a way to overturn this, " She pokes him in the chest. "Furthermore, I'm going to get a restraining order against you, so you can't even come within 100 yards of this place. I'm tired of you trying to come here and bully me into whatever you want!"

"Don't you threaten me, Joyce!" Hank pushes her. " This is my house too! I can come and go as I please!"

Suddenly, Faith is between them. She pushes Hank back, glaring at him.

"Don't you touch her, creep," She mutters, "or you're gonna be way sorry."

"Who the hell are you?" Hank looks down on her, almost laughing. " Get lost!"

"I'm just telling you, get your fat ass outta here," Faith pushes him again.

Hank grabs her and shoves her out of the way.

"Look, you little bitch. I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you better leave before I get angry. This isn't any of your business." He raises his fist to her.

"Leave her alone, Hank. She lives here!" Joyce grabs his hand.

"She lives here, does she?" Hank shrugs Joyce off, "What, did you decide to get another lesbo lover, Joyce?"

"You're sick, Hank. She's a student at UC Sunnydale. She's just a boarder here. Leave her alone!"

"Shut up, Joyce!" Hank turns to Faith, "I thought I told you to get lost. This doesn't concern you!"

"I'm not going anywhere, tubby. I heard what you did to her the last time."

"Faith, stay out of this! I can handle this!"

"Joyce, I'm not just gonna stand by while tub o lard here hits you…"

"You little …" Hank raises his hand, but again, Joyce grabs it.

"Faith, go to your room. I can handle this. You're just making it worse!"

"You heard her, little girl. It's grown up time. Get lost."

"Just go, Faith, please. This isn't any of your concern. Just go." Joyce's tone is a little exasperated, and harsh.

Faith looks as if she's been slapped. She looks at Joyce, then at Hank. She frowns.

"Whatever. I'm going," She mutters. She makes a wide circle around Hank, and heads for the kitchen. "Handle it yourselves. You're both acting like such grown ups." Turning, she quickly walks away.

"What the hell is her problem?" Hank watches her go. "What kind of people are you exposing my daughters to, anyway?"

"A lot better than the whores you run around with, Hank." Joyce retorts, angrily, "Faith's a good kid. She helps out around here, sometimes watching the girls when I have to be away. She at least is here for them, a lot more than I can say about you!" She walks away from him, deeper into the living room. "So, what's the real deal here, Hank? Why the sudden interest in the girls?"

"They're my daughters too, Joyce," Hank says, following her in, "and I won't have you denying me visitation rights!"

"Oh for god sakes, Hank. All you had to do was ask. But you're almost never around to ask, are you? No, there's something else going on here."

"I love my daughters! I want to see them! Is that a crime?" He moves closer to her, as if to intimidate her. "Anyway, you have no right to refuse me. I've got a court order!"

"We'll see how long that lasts, Hank. You obtained it illegally, without informing me of the hearing. Once my lawyer gets ahold of it, it'll be tossed out…"

Hank pauses. Seeing she's not bluffing; knowing that if he doesn't get the rights to see his daughters, and prove he's a good 'family' man, it could cost him the biggest business deal of his life, switches tack.

"Look, Joyce, I'm sorry, ok? I got desperate. After what happened the last time, I thought for sure you'd try to keep the girls from me. I just want to be part of their lives, too. Is that so terrible?"

Joyce, despite her anger, softens a little. She can understand the feeling of desperation at the thought of losing her daughters. She remembers how desperate she was when Hank threatened her with it. _Goddamn him! He does that to me, and still comes here and tries this crap!_ She feels her anger grow, remembering what he did to her. On one hand, she would love to break a few of the living room lamps over his head. On the other, she knows that Buffy and Dawn adore their dad, and she doesn't want to cut them off from him. _And he wasn't really a terrible father. They love him, and I guess he loves them in his way. Still, I'm not going to be bullied by him into anything. He doesn't deserve that, not after what he's done._

All this passes through her mind in a second, and she sighs heavily.

"I wish you'd just asked me, Hank. I'm not a terrible person. I don't want to deprive Buffy and Dawn of their father. But I'm not going to be bullied by you anymore. You have no right to just come in here and order me to do what you want, Hank Summers. You never got that while we were married, and I'm certainly not taking it from you now that were divorced…"

"The divorce isn't final yet, Joyce."

"Don't push it, Hank. It's all over but the decree. I'll think about what you said, and get back to you on it."

"Joyce…" Hanks tone begins to rise.

"I said, don't push it, Henry. You made a big mistake with that court order. If I have my lawyer pursue it, I'll take away all visitation rights. Is that clear? You're not going to get anywhere trying to threaten me anymore, Hank. I can still ruin you."

Hank feels his temper rise, and his fists tighten at his side. But he pushes it back down. _This is too important to lose by losing my temper. Just keep cool, Hank._

"Ok, Joyce. Just, please, don't take the girls away from me. Please?"

"I think you better go now, Henry. I'll think about it, and call you at your office."

"Actually, I'm staying at the Ramada Inn in Sunnydale. I'm here on some other business. You can reach me there." He puts on a humble face. "I'm looking for a place close, so I can be around more…"

Joyce feels a cold little chill in her stomach._ That's not good! Damn!_ "You're not staying here, Henry."

" I know, I know," He puts up his hands in mock surrender. " But if you hear of an apartment for rent…" he trails off, putting on a boyish grin.

"I think you better leave now."

Henry nods, and walks towards the foyer. "I'm sorry about earlier…"

"Just go, please?"

"I'm going," Henry says, almost pleasantly. "Don't forget to call me."

"I won't."

Hank walks through the foyer, and out the front door, closing it quietly behind him.

He stands on the porch for a moment, staring up at the sky.

_If that bitch thinks she's going to queer this deal with Avery Chase to buy the company, she's got another think coming. I'm already on thin ice with the partners, and if this doesn't go through, I'm out with nothing. And that just isn't going to happen…_

He starts off the porch, striding quickly towards his car.

_Joyce is becoming too much of a problem for me. If that evidence she collected ever gets out, I'm through…_ He pauses for a moment by his car, letting that thought chill him. _No, it's not going to happen. I'm not going to let that dried up hag ruin everything for me. There's got to be something I can do… something … permanent._

Opening the door, he settles into the car, starting the engine.

_Something very permanent. Maybe it's time Joyce had a little accident…_

Contemplating that, he puts the car in gear and drives away.

3

Joyce watches the door close behind Hank, an immense feeling of relief washing over her.

She really wasn't up for fighting tonight, especially with Hank over the girls. After the club, and then the drive home, she had enough to think about. Now she has the additional worry of what exactly Hank is up to.

_Not buying the 'Gee, I want to be a dad' story he's trying to sell. Hank isn't exactly father of the year, and I don't think he's going to change his ways anytime soon. He's got something going on, and now I've got to worry about that, too. At least he left without a knock down drag out fight this time. God, I want to strangle that man!_

Joyce makes her way toward the cellar door in the kitchen. She wants to see, Faith, badly. She needs some reassurance right now, and Faith is the only one that can give it to her. She pauses at the basement door.

_Thank goodness I've got her! She's the only good thing in this whole mess. I don't know what to call what we've got, but I'd go nuts if I didn't have it._

She walks down the steps, noticing Faith is sitting on her bed, staring out into space.

Faith turns when she hears Joyce coming down the steps, then turns away again. She goes back to staring at the opposite wall.

"Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry about Hank. I had no idea he'd be here…"

"Forget it. Not a big deal," Faith says, her tone slightly chilly. She turns to Joyce, her eyes flat and distant. "Was there something you wanted?"

Joyce stops at the last step, holding onto the stair rail.

"Are you ok, honey?" Joyce walks over to Faith, looking at her carefully. "Did he hurt you?"

Faith looks at her with an "are you kidding?" look.

"No, he didn't touch me. Not really."

"Oh, ok," Joyce can feel the chilliness waving off of Faith. "Are you still upset about tonight? At the restaurant? I know you're upset because I stopped you from assaulting that Chase girl, but I didn't want to see you get arrested. I was just trying to protect you."

"Yeah, you seem to be protecting me all over the place tonight," Faith says, slightly sarcastically. "I never knew I needed to be so protected before."

"Aw, c'mon, sweetie, don't be that way, " Faith sits down next to Faith, putting an arm around her waist. "I love you and just want to be sure you're safe. Is that such a crime?" She leans in, kissing behind Faith's ear. "Isn't there something I can do to make it better?"

Faith sits there, not believing that Joyce could be so dense. Still, the kiss behind the ear gives her the usual warm tingles. But she shrugs her off. _Dammit, no!_ She moves away from Joyce, standing up.

"Look, Joyce, I'm really tired. I don't feel like it tonight. Could you just go, please? I need some time alone."

Joyce sits there, hurt and confused. _What? What's wrong? Why is she being so cold?_

"Honey, what's wrong? What's bothering you?"

Faith just stares at her, not answering.

Joyce gets up, really hurt now. She walks towards the stairs. "Ok, whatever _you_ want, Faith. I'll see you in the morning, then."

"Yeah, whatever," Faith answers, sitting on her bed.

"Goodnight, then," Joyce turns and walks up the stairs.

Faith watches her go, biting her lip to keep from calling out. Her whole body yearns to grab Joyce, and hold her close, lose herself in her.

But after the way Joyce dismissed her tonight, she sees the writing on the wall.

_She's never going to treat me as a partner. She's never going to make this real. I'm always just going to be her dirty little secret. _

_Well, not this girl. No sir. Not me!_

That still doesn't ease the fiery pain in her heart. That still doesn't make her feel better, or right, or anything. It only makes her feel lonely.

As soon as Joyce is gone, she collapses on the bed, and cries.

4

There is a definite cold front in the dining room of the Summer's household the next morning. Faith does her best to avoid Joyce; Joyce moves around, setting the table for breakfast, trying to figure out what's bothering Faith. She sets the plates out, and brings the food to the table, setting it out for everyone.

"Good morning," Joyce says, quietly, as she carries her cup of coffee to the table.

Faith is already at the table, as far away from where Joyce normally sits as she can reasonably be. Her head is buried in the newspaper.

"Good morning," She mumbles, not looking up.

Faith stares at the paper, at the same paragraph she's been looking at for the last 5 minutes. She's hiding, hoping that she can get out of here quickly before anything else comes up.

Joyce stares into space, occasionally glancing over at Faith, trying to think of a way to engage her in conversation. _Maybe then I can find out what's bothering her. God, what did I do this time?_ Joyce wonders, feeling a little frustrated. _She's so touchy. You never know what's going to set her off._

"Any plans for today?"

"I dunno, thought I might look for a job," Faith mutters brusquely.

"Faith, you don't have to do that right now. There's no hurry. It's not like I'm going to kick you out…" Joyce tries smiling, but it dies quickly when Faith just grunts at her. "Anyway, it's Saturday. No use looking today."

"Don't like to be sitting around, doing nothing…"

"Well, you'll be back in school soon. Why not just concentrate on that?"

Faith looks up at Joyce, as if she's lost her mind.

"Did you forget, Joyce? I was kicked out of school."

"No, I didn't forget, Faith. But Cordelia said she'd get you reinstated…"

"And, you really believe that?" Faith shakes her head, and looks back down at her paper.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Joyce asks. "You think she's not going to come through on her promise?"

Faith looks at Joyce over the edge of the paper. She doesn't reply, just looks back down.

Joyce sighs, feeling frustrated. _God, why doesn't she just come out with it?_ She tries another tack.

"I was thinking about last night…"

Faith sighs heavily, and puts down the paper.

"What about it?"

"Well…" Joyce suddenly feels the heat of Faith's gaze, and her throat goes dry, "… I was thinking about what Hank said, about seeing the girls. I'm thinking it might be a good idea…"

Faith shakes her head, as if she can't believe what she just heard.

"You're telling me you're going to let him come around and see the girls?"

Buffy comes down the stairs, feeling pretty good about herself. After seeing her dad last night, and seeing how much he seemed to care about her, she sees a light at the end of the dark tunnel she's been living in.

_Maybe they don't want me around here, but he wants me. I can tell. I can go live with him. Maybe back in L.A. I can get back in my old school. Anything to get out of here. No one wants me around here. _

She hears voices in the dining room, and hearing Hank's name, stops to listen.

"I really don't see what choice I have. Sure, I can get that court order overturned, he did that illegally. But there's the fact that he _is_ their father, and I'm sure they want to visit with him. How can I really say no?" Joyce asks.

"You say no. N-O. The man is… god, Joyce, he's a pig. Do you really want them to be exposed to that? What's to keep him from getting the idea that maybe he wants to keep them?" Faith shakes her head, "What're you going to do then?"

_Pig? My dad is NOT a pig!_ Buffy fumes, listening on the stairs.

"Oh for god sakes, Faith. Yeah, Hank's no saint, I agree with you there. But he loves the girls. He's always been a good father to them. He's not going to try to kidnap them or anything. That's insane!"

"Really? How about you ask the hundreds of people who've had kids kidnapped by a divorced spouse, and never seen them again? I don't trust that guy further than I can throw him. He's a creep, Joyce."

_Shut up! You shut UP! You don't know what you're talking about!_ Buffy wants to go in there and pop her one.

"He wouldn't do that, Faith. He's not stupid, if nothing else. He has too much to lose if he pulls something like that."

"Ok, but do you really want him exposing them to his girlfriends? I mean, after all Joyce, he's not known to keep it in his pants too good. You want them to see that?"

Dawn comes to the top of the stairs, and stops.

"Buffy, what're you doing there?" She walks down to her sister. "Are you eavesdropping?"

"What? No, I wasn't eavesdropping. I was thinking of what a moron I have for a sister. It's so devastating, it just stops me dead in my tracks sometimes, " Buffy retorts, and then walks down to the dining room.

Dawn makes a disgusted noise, and follows her down.

"Good morning, Buffy. Good morning, Dawn," Joyce greets her daughters as they enter the dining room.

"Morning, guys," Faith says to the pair.

"Hi, mom," Buffy says brightly. She pointedly ignores Faith.

"Hi, mom, morning Faith," Dawn says, walking over and sitting next to Faith. She reaches for the cereal. "By the way, mom, dad dropped by last night."

"Oh?" Joyce feigns ignorance. "Really? He didn't call me…"

"Well, he just dropped by, mom," Buffy adds in. "We talked, and he's going to come by later and pick me up. We're going to spend the day together."

Faith shoots an ' I told you so' look at Joyce.

"This is the first I heard of this," Joyce says. "Why wasn't I told about this?"

"Well, he was here last night, mom," Buffy says, "and you weren't around. So, I'm telling you now."

"Did you forget something, Buffy? You're on restriction. You can't go out without clearing it with me first."

"Mom! This is dad! I'm not going to hang with friends or nothing… "

"Hank should know better. He can't just waltz in here any time and make plans without okaying it with me. And you know that too. It'll just have to wait…"

"No way!" Buffy explodes, standing up. "I don't hardly _ever_ get to see dad, and now he wants to spend the day with me, and you're not keeping me from seeing him!"

Dawn, over in the corner by Faith, winces. Faith reaches out and pats her shoulder.

"Young lady, don't yell at me," Joyce says, her face flushing. "You don't make plans to go anywhere without clearing them with me. That includes with your father. I'm responsible for you, and while you're under my roof, you'll follow my rules." She stands up, facing Buffy. "Now, sit down and finish your breakfast!"

"No, I won't! I'm going to see my dad, I don't care what you say!"

"Buffy, chill. Don't talk to your mom like that…" Faith speaks up from the end of the table.

"Shut up!" Buffy turns on Faith, her face red. "Who the hell do you think you are, anyway? You're _not_ part of this family. You're nothing. I heard you…"

"Buffy, be quiet!" Joyce is at the end of her tether. "Sit down, and stop acting like a child!"

"…trash talking my dad, " Buffy continues, ignoring Joyce. "I heard you call him a creep and a pig. Well, he isn't . He's my dad, and he loves me… unlike anyone at this fucking table!"

"Buffy! Don't use that language at the…"

"Shut UP, mom! You listen to her, and she's what? Some boarder? God, you listen to anyone but _me!_ I'm tired of it! I'm almost 18 years old, and I'm not listening to you or anyone. Especially not some dumb ass no-nothing like her!" She turns back to Faith. "Why don't you get out of here? No one wants you here! You're nothing, hear me? Nothing!"

"Elizabeth Anne Summers. You apologize to Faith this instant! She's just concerned about you!"

"The hell I will! You both hate me! You just want to ruin my life. I'm tired of it. I hate you BOTH!"

Buffy turns around, and storms upstairs. A few seconds later, a door is heard slamming very loudly.

Joyce Summers starts after her. "Elizabeth Anne Summers, get your butt back down here this instant! Do you hear me!"

" Joyce, let it go."

"No, I won't stand by and let her insult you and me…"

"Just let her be. She was right. I don't have a say here, and I stuck my nose in. Promise, that'll be the last time."

"God, I don't get her… I just don't understand…"

She stopped when a crash, much closer occurs. She looks over and sees Dawn staring at the wall, where she's thrown her bowl.

"Dawn… what are you doing?" Joyce stares at her, amazed.

Dawn stands up. Her face is pale, with bright red spots in her cheeks. Her lips are trembling.

"It figures. Buffy has another of her famous temper tantrums, and it all becomes about Buffy. Well, I miss dad, too! But I don't throw fits. But she gets all the attention, and everyone acts like I'm not here! I'm so tired of every meal being ruined by my bratty sister. God, I hate this place!"

She pushes her way out from the corner, and runs to the door.

"Dawn Marie Summers! Where do you think…"

"I'm going someplace, anyplace that isn't a madhouse all the time!"

Dawn disappears through the front door, slamming it behind her.

"Dawn… honey…" Joyce subsides, standing and staring at the front door. Joyce is beyond shocked; Dawn is always the calm, reasonable one. She can't remember the last time Dawn lost her temper.

Joyce turns to Faith, who's standing up and walking towards the front door.

"Faith, where are you going?" Joyce suddenly feels adrift at sea, without a lifeboat or lifejacket, clinging desperately to a piece of driftwood. "Don't leave, please?"

"After Dawn. I'll try to catch up to her and talk to her… then I got stuff I gotta do."

"Faith, please… don't go!" Joyce starts after her.

"I'm not needed here, Joyce. I'll see ya later."

Before Joyce can stop her, she's out the door. The door almost slams in Joyce's face.

She stands there, not knowing which way to turn. She hugs herself, feeling suddenly very cold and alone.

Joyce finally walks into the dining room. She walks over to where Dawn threw her bowl up against the wall, and kneels down, picking up the shards of glass. Trembling from the emotional turmoil, she fumbles one of the shards in her hand, cutting herself.

It's all too much. Everything, from last night and this morning, overwhelm her. She starts to shake and sob. Leaning against the dining room wall, she just lets it all out.

_It's just another wonderful morning at the Summer's house._ She thinks, when she finally regains control. _What else could go wrong?_

Still sniffling, she stands up and heads towards the kitchen.

5

"Hey, c'mon, Dawnie. Wait up!"

Faith is trotting after Dawn, who's striding quickly down Revello drive towards Adams.

"Go 'way, Faith," Dawn calls back over her shoulder. "Really not looking for a lecture…"

"Hey, not looking to give ya one," Faith calls out, catching up to her. "I just wanna talk to ya, kid."

"I'm not a KID!" Dawn growls angrily, striding faster.

"No, you're really not, are you?" Faith gets in front of her, trotting backwards. "Look at you, all growed up and stuff. Sometimes, I think you're the most adult of all of us." Faith grins, revealing her dimples. "I know I for one act like a kid sometimes…"

"Just go away please," Dawn waves at her, "I don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone… and stop doing that, you'll trip and hurt yourself!"

Almost as if cued, Faith's boot heel catches a crack, and she wobbles and falls , down hard on her butt.

"Damn!" Faith growls, sitting there. " Fuck!"

"Told ya," Dawn stand over her, smirking. She reaches a hand down for Faith.

Faith takes her hand, and stands up, brushing herself off. She smiles ruefully.

"Yeah, guess you did, didn't ya?" Faith gives her a sidelong glance. "Wanna talk about it now?"

"Talk about what?"

"Why you went ballistic this morning? I really think you majorly wigged your mom "

"I dunno," Dawn shrugs, "Maybe one too many Buffy tantrums. I just lost it."

"I know I haven't been around that long, but that's the first time I've ever seen you blow your top, Dawnie. I mean, I've even seen you stub your toe, and almost laugh it off. Shoot, I do that, I'd wanna kick the crap outta whatever my toe hit. It's just kinda weird seeing ya get so…"

"What's the big? Buffy has a tantrum all the time. No one seems to make a deal outta it anymore. What? I can't get like pissed off once in awhile?" She starts rocking back and forth on her feet. "Look, I gotta motor, ok? I'll talk to you later…" She starts off.

"Hey, c'mon, don't run off. I'm kinda worried about you," Faith starts trotting beside her. "You're mom's worried, too."

"Well, that's new," Dawn says, edgily. "Maybe you gotta become a total brat like Buffy to … aw, forget it…" She starts walking faster.

"Dawn, what?" Faith reaches out and grabs her arm, pulling her back. "Talk to me, kiddo."

"Let me go, ok?" Dawn shakes her off. "What's the point, anyway?"

"Dawn, how's anyone gonna know what's wrong if you don't tell us?"

"Aw, who cares, really?"

"Dawn! Your mom cares. I care!"

"Do ya? Really?" Dawn looks at her skeptically. "Coulda fooled me. I mean, it's always about Buffy, isn't it? Poor Buffy, she's had it so hard, she's so troubled, blah, blah, blah. Gimme a break, ok? Think I liked moving here? Think I didn't have friends, a boyfriend, back in L.A.? Yeah, sure, I've met some good guys here, like Willow and Xander…" She smiles a little at that, "… but still, this wasn't easy for me. I had a life there, too. I hated moving here. But because I didn't throw a royal fit like her Majesty Princess Buffy, everyone thinks things are just totally cool with me. No one bothers to see if I'm doing ok, or if maybe I'm feeling lost or alone or don't know what to do or how to fit in here or nothing."

"Dawn, geeze, I'm sorry …"

"Oh, man, Faith, it's not your job. I mean, believe me, since you've been here, it's been better; really it has. I mean I know if I go to you with something, you won't be distracted by Buffy, or look at me like I'm a moron, like Buffy does. But still… I mean, it's always about her! God, she's always making things harder. Doesn't she get it that mom's got a lot going on? She doesn't think. It's just me, me, me with her.

God, like last night. I came home, dragging Xander with, cuz I felt sorry for her, being all alone on a Friday night. I thought we'd keep her company. Then I find her with Dad. Like, couldn't she have called me telling me dad was there? Like, maybe I'd like to see them too? Anyway, I get there, and she gives me this look. Like she wants me to drop dead or something. Even dad looked at me kinda funny." She shivers, thinking about it. "I don't know what that was about. It passed, but it's just so typical. Buffy never thinks about anyone else, but everyone better damn well think about her, you know? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of her crap, and today was just another … aw, what's the point? Nothing's going to change…" She frowns. Her arms are crossed over her chest.

"Dawn, did anything happen last night? I mean between your dad and you and Buffy?"

"Huh? No!" Dawn answers quickly. Then she thinks a little, and turns frowns deeper. "Just… well, when I came in… have you ever like gone someplace, you know, walked in on friends or something, and there's something not right? God, this is hard… but I mean, you feel something in the air, like they were doing something they shouldn't… god, this is lame… I'm just saying last night, when Xander and I walked in, I felt… weird… oh, I don't know. I'm probably hallucinating…"

"Something weird? Like what?"

"I don't know, it was just weird, you know? Dad had this funny look on his face, like he was…" Dawn furrows her brows. "Like he was guilty or something. And Buffy had this angry red face thing going… "

"You think they had a fight?"

"No, it's weird. I mean, that's what it should've been with the like tension… but they didn't seem angry at each other… oh, god, I don't know… I'm no Sherlock, you know, it was just … off."

Faith gets a weird feeling, but she can't put her finger on it.

"Did you talk to your mom about it?"

"No… I mean, I was sorta gonna, but I … look, I miss my dad too, you know? And I kinda want to see him, and if I say something was weird, mom'll probably not want to let us see him…"

"Still, Dawnie, you should tell her if you think something's going on."

"God, aren't things psycho enough? Maybe I was just surprised at seeing dad, and I'm all off. I don't want to … no, I don't think there was really anything…"

"Dawn…"

"No! It was nothing, ok? I probably just a little pissed at her because she probably wouldn't have told me dad was there, and I would've missed him if I hadn't come home, and I'm imagining things, ok? Just let it go…"

" I dunno if I can, Dawn. I mean, if you don't tell her, I probably should…"

"Faith, c'mon! Please, don't tell her. It's nothing, really. And I won't get to see my dad, and I really want to … please, just keep this between us, ok?" Dawn is almost pleading with her. "C'mon, please?"

Faith stands there, conflicted.

On one hand, she's a little upset by what Dawn told her. With the way Buffy acted this morning, and from what Joyce has told her about their relationship of late, she's afraid something might be going down that would really hurt Joyce. _ God, what if Buffy is planning to bolt? Maybe go live with her dad… I mean, for real? She's always threatening it. What if he's like agreeing? I could see that prick doing it, just to hurt Joyce. _

On the other hand, she sees Dawn standing here, right here and now, almost begging her to keep quiet. And she feels for her. She gets it. _I'd love to see my mom and dad again, without all the crap, if I could. But they won't even see me… I don't want to queer it with her and her dad… but… damn, look at her. She's a smart kid. She won't do anything stupid._

_Man, I know I'm gonna regret this!_

"Ok, ok," Faith puts up her hands. "I'll keep quiet… for now. But if you think anything really weird is going on, Dawn, you gotta tell your mom. I mean it. Ok? I'm not kidding here, babe. I don't want something to happen that could hurt you or Buffy or your mom, just because we didn't say anything. We gotta deal?"

"Deal," Dawn smiles, and Faith smiles too. Dawn comes over, and before Faith can stop her, hugs Faith and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, damn," Faith jokes, grinning broadly, "Iffen I knew I was gonna get a kiss outta it, I would've agreed sooner."

"You goof," Dawn punches her lightly on the arm. "Thanks." She cocks her head to the side and smiles mischievously. "Anyway, aren't I little young for you?"

"What, you calling me a grandma now?" Faith pretends to be offended.

"Oh, no not at all…" Dawn smiles enigmatically. "I just got the idea you were into older women."

"Huh?" Faith stands there, a little stunned.

_Oh yeah, I knew it. Oh yeah!_

"What the hell you talking about, kiddo?"

"Oh… nothing…" Dawn is still smirking. She glances at her watch. "Will you look at the time. I so gotta go." She turns, and walks away. " Bye, bye, Faith." She calls over her shoulder.

"Hey…"

But Dawn has turned a corner, and is gone.

Faith looks after her, hands on hips. There's the faintest grin on her face.

Shaking her head, she turns and heads downtown.

6

"This. is. NOT. right!"

The young man paced quickly back and forth in the side wing to the gallery, gesticulating wildly at the paintings on the walls, at the pieces of sculpture on stands, and at Joyce. It was obvious that he was very passionate about the point he was trying to make.

"Georges, please, calm down," Joyce said, trying to smooth over his temper. She wasn't having much success.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down?" Georges stops, and stands staring at her. "After what you've done with my work? How, HOW am I to calm down?"

Georges Zelle, a local artist, is nothing if he's not passionate. Tall, whip-thin and angular, every bit of him seemed to need to move restlessly, driven by a deep well of restless energy which was his hallmark. His long narrow face, with an aquiline nose, almond shaped eyes slightly tilted up, and slightly pointed chin give the first impression of him being a slightly demented elf.

Right now, he seemed to be an angry elf, his eyes flashing and his mouth drawn down in almost fierce frown. He shakes his main of raven colored hair. His every gesture sings out his unhappiness.

"How could you do this to me, Joyce?" He sighs as if losing his last friend. "How could you shunt my work into some little dark corner to be ignored and overlooked? Even as powerful as my work is, it can't call out to be seen from this dank, dark little corner."

"Dank, dark little corner?"

Joyce looks around at the side wing of the main gallery. Most of the section is devoted to Zelle's works: His paintings cover the walls, and his sculptures are prominently displayed. The lighting is subdued, to be sure, but dark by no means. Each light has been carefully hung to complement and highlight the works. The overall effect is to emphasize the subdued power of each work. Joyce is somewhat puzzled by Zelle's reaction.

"I'm simply not understanding what you're driving at, Georges. I've devoted this whole area to your work, arranging them carefully by subject to play off each other. The whole section gives over to the mood I see emanating from your work. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Are you blind, Joyce? My work needs to breathe; it can't survive hidden in the shadows. It needs to reach out and grab the viewer before he or she has a chance to minimize it, categorize it and file it away. Its power is subsumed back here. No one will see it!"

"Georges, you know I love your work…" Joyce sighs internally. _Artists! You can't please them, and you can't shoot them!_ "… but your subjects are controversial…"

"As they should be. As anything that calls itself ART should be! How can it be art if it…"

"Yes, Georges, I know your passion on the subject," Joyce cuts in, forestalling yet another lecture on art according to Zelle, "… but you have to understand that not all my clients… not even a majority… appreciate your vision. Some would find it offensive…"

"Philistines! The brainless, the ones who consider Norman Rockwell great art!" Georges almost spits out the words.

Of course, Georges, " Joyce tries to calm him, "but nonetheless, they are a good portion of my business, and I have to please them as well…." She walks over to a painting called "Nude bound" showing a woman, headless, wrapped naked in barbed wire, set against a blasted plain somewhere in some desert. "This one, for instance. If I had this out front… I can just imagine the reaction…"

"How can you, Joyce? You know this is a statement on the objectification of Women in our society, how they are looked at as objects to be used and disposed of. Certainly you can see that!"

"OF course, Georges," Joyce placates, "but it still would be very disturbing for a number of my clients. I love your work, Georges, and I want to display it. But I don't want my other clients upset by being assaulted by it first thing. There's a market for your work… aren't you happy with the sales I've produced for you?"

"Yes, yes, yes, of course, of course," Georges says, almost impatiently, "but it's not about money, Joyce. It's about exposure, getting my message out there…"

"And it's getting out there, Georges," Joyce insists, "but even you have to live, Georges. And I need to live, also. And … I need my clients, all of them, to live…" She smiles winningly at him. "I need to display your work with others like it…"

"There are no others like it…" Georges gestures, sweepingly taking in his exhibition. "Mine is like no other. It speaks boldly, proudly, passionately! It's not decoration, Joyce, it's ART!"

"I meant, Georges, others of a similar nature. Others that have something to say, as well, and speaks to a sophisticated palate. One that can appreciate fully your work and passion."

Georges stands still, almost as if in a tableau, legs spread widely, hands steepled together in front of his mouth, as if in supplication. Even so, his puts out an aura of restless motion.

"Yes, yes, I see…" He says quietly, looking around. "Yes, a place apart, where it calls to the true aficionado of ART, one who sees and breathes and smells and tastes the passion, the raw energy of my work. Yes… not mocked by the philistines, but admired, loved by those who can only love the truth I reveal…" He impulsively goes over and hugs Joyce, clasping her to him in a strong embrace. "Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! I knew I was right to allow you to show my work to the world. You obviously have the soul of an artiste, Joyce."

"Thank you, Georges," Joyce smiles. She gently extricates herself from his grip. " I'm pleased you're pleased."

"Yes, yes, of course you are," He slowly pans over his work, nodding approvingly. "But I must be off! I'm in the middle of a new work, and time spent here is stolen from my latest child." He turns, striding off towards the main entrance to the gallery. "Keep up the brilliant work, Joyce. I will have more for you very, very soon."

Without another word, he almost bursts out through the front doors, turning and disappearing in a quick stride down the street.

Joyce stands there, watching him go, a rueful and slightly bemused grin on her face.

_God, if ever the stereotype of the temperamental artist exists, it's Georges Zelle!_ She chuckles softly, turning back to his work. _Still, he's good. Very good. There _is_ a power to his work. But…_

George Zelle has been with Joyce ever since she opened the gallery in Sunnydale. He was her first 'show', which had mixed reactions in both local and metropolitan reviewers that were on hand for the show. Since then, she has devoted this little section of the gallery to his work.

And every 3-4 weeks, like clockwork, Georges Zelle shows up, to rage at the 'dank, dark' corner that she 'hides' his work in.

_It's as if his brain can only hold things for a month, then cleans it out, and he has to start all over again. It would be almost funny, if it weren't so tiring at times!_

Sighing, she moves on to the other 'controversial and experimental' artists she has in this section, and stops at another, smaller display.

This one features a grad student over at UC Sunnydale, one who paints nudes. They are more impressionistic than realistic; yet in some ways they remind her of Faith's nudes… the few she saw while in Boston.

She chuckles a little when she remembers her extreme embarrassment the first time she walked in on Faith painting her nudes. How she thought something else, something very personal and private was going on, and how…_ admit it, Joyce. Even then, you were jealous. You just didn't want to acknowledge it…_ surprised she was. And how pleased she was when she realized that Faith was truly talented…

Thinking of Faith brings back the memories of last night and this morning, and all the attendant frustration and confusion.

_Why is she acting so … chilly towards me? I don't get it. Ever since the club, and everything that happened. She seems … distant… but what did I do? How did I offend her? I must've offended her… but… I just don't understand… _

_It must be about Henry and his wanting to see the kids. But why would she be so angry about that? I can only figure that she doesn't trust him. Well, neither do I! But I know he wouldn't harm Buffy or Dawn. He loves them. He's not great as a man, not a great dad, that's for sure. But he does love them, and they love him. It's not fair to them to deny them access to their own father…_

Joyce almost jumps when a hand touches her shoulder. Whirling around, she almost for a second thinks it might be Faith. A broad smile quickly fades when she sees it's only Taylor.

"Oh, hi, Taylor. You startled me. What's up?"

"Are you ok, Joyce? You seemed a little lost…"

"I'm fine, "Joyce puts on a smile," it's just Georges, in to complain how we're exhibiting him, again… you know how that goes." She shrugs. "He always makes me feel a little lost…"

"Oh, sure. I heard him. That's why I waited to come over…"

"Taylor, you can't let Georges intimidate you. He's all bluster and fire, but essentially harmless."

"He's a fruitcake, Joyce. Certified."

"I agree. But a talented fruitcake, nonetheless." Joyce puts a hand on Taylor's arm. "So, what did you want?"

"Someone's waiting for you in your office…"

"Someone? A client?" Joyce straightens up a little. "You should've come for me sooner."

"Well, not exactly…" Taylor nods with her head towards the office.

Joyce looks, and her smile broadens when she sees Faith standing just inside the office door, looking a little lost herself.

"Thank you, Taylor," Joyce touches her arm.

"No prob, Joyce," Taylor says. "Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, you seemed kind of distracted when you came in today, and then she shows up, and she's carrying a rose, and she has that look Billy always gets when he's sorry for being the perfect jackass."

Joyce just squeezes her arm, and strides quickly towards her office.

"Hello, you," Joyce says, walking into the office, closing the door behind her.

"Hey," Faith says. She's clutching a beautiful red rose. "Thought you might like this…" Faith holds out the rose to Joyce.

"It's lovely. Thanks," Joyce takes and puts the rose in a vase on her desk. "So, you're not upset with me anymore?"

Faith blushes a little. "I was being a dick. I'm sorry." She shrugs. "Just, with everything that happened last night I was kinda upset in general…"

"It's ok, I understand," Joyce smiles, relieved that Faith seems herself. "About last night…"

"Hmmm?"

"Well, I thought about it a lot, and I've come to a decision about Hank and Buffy and Dawn." She sits behind her desk. "I think I'm going to let him see them more. He's their father, and they miss him. It's not fair of me to come between them."

Faith stands there a moment, looking at Joyce. She frowns a little.

"Joyce, do you really think that's the best idea?" Faith leans on the desk. "This is Hank we're talking about. The same Hank that tried to break us up, and threatened to take the kids away from you. Do you really think you can trust him?"

"Normally, I can't trust Henry further than I can throw him. Believe me, I know he's a bastard of the first order. But this is different, Faith. Bad as he is, he does love Buffy and Dawn. He wouldn't hurt them."

"He might pull something, Joyce. Try to turn them against you…"

"Were you there this morning? Buffy is already against me. I don't think anything he could say would change things."

"What about Dawn?"

"I know Dawn got upset this morning, but I think that has more to do with us fighting all the time, more than anything. Normally, she's a pretty level headed kid. I don't think she'd buy any crap Hank could come up with."

"But what if he tries to take them away again?"

"Why would he? He gets to see them, and if I deny him any visitation, he might get desperate and try a lawsuit. Not that he'd win," Joyce touches the locked drawer of her desk. "I've got enough evidence to ruin him if he ties anything. But the legal fees and all would be murderous. Never mind how it would effect Buffy and Dawn. No, I think he should see them. He wants it, and they want it. And it might calm things down at home."

"Well, what if he kidnaps them or something? I mean, he could do it. It's happened before!"

"Faith, the one thing I can count on with Hank, is that he's greedy. Stupid, sure, but more greedy than stupid. He runs with the kids, and he gives up any share he has in his business. He has to go in hiding, and frankly, I don't think he'll think it's worth giving everything up for them." She frowns, a slight bitter edge comes to her voice. "He hasn't done it up to now, has he?" She shakes her head. "No, I know he won't do that. I think this is the best way."

"But, Joyce…"

"Faith," Joyce reaches out, covering Faith's hand. "I appreciate your concern. I do. I think it's sweet. But really, there's nothing to be concerned about. It's going to be all right."

"Joyce, there's something else."

"What?" Joyce looks at Faith intently. "Is there something you know?"

"Not know so much…" Faith sighs.

She tells Joyce about her conversation with Dawn earlier, specifically the part about Dawn coming in and finding Buffy and Hank alone.

"… she said she felt something was off, there. They both looked guilty, and flushed."

"Did she think they'd had a fight?"

"No, she said they didn't seem angry with each other. More, they seemed upset with Dawn and Xander showing up. At least, that's how she felt about it…" Faith looks down at the desk. "She thought Buffy in particular seemed upset, giving her dirty looks and stuff…"

Joyce gets an acidy feeling in her stomach.

"Faith, what are you trying to say?" Joyce demands, feeling upset but not knowing why.

"I'm not trying to say anything, really, Joyce," Faith backpedals a little. "Just, I don't know if letting Hank be alone with the girls is such a good idea…"

Joyce gets the message, and doesn't like the message one bit.

"Faith, please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking…"

"Well, Joyce," Faith sighs. _God, this is hard._ "… he does like younger women…"

"Oh my god, Faith," Joyce sounds stunned. "How can you… how can you even think something like that? That's… SICK!" Joyce shudders.

"Joyce, look at the facts…"

"No, no way. That's just… no. Henry's a bastard on many levels. I really don't like him, Faith. I admit that. But to think he'd … oh my god, that's beyond … no, I've heard enough."

"Joyce, please listen. I'm not saying…"

"You're exactly saying that. Or implying it. And I won't listen to it. Hank is no angel, but he would never do something like that…"

"Joyce, please…"

"NO! Enough, Faith," Joyce's face colors. "I know you hate Hank, Faith, and I don't blame you. But this is …"

"You think I'm making this up?" Faith pushes off the desk, her face astonished. "You think I'd make something like this up?"

"I think you're confused. I think you've got it wrong, is all."

"And I think you're wearing blinders, Joyce. It's an ugly world, and people do ugly things."

"Enough!" Joyce stands up, "This is my family, Faith. Not yours. I make the decisions about my family. Not you. Understand?"

Joyce walks over and grabbing a glass, pours some water out of the water bottle in her office. Her hand is shaking.

"This is none of your concern," She says, then drinks the water.

Faith stands there, feeling as if she's been hit by a twenty pound sledge hammer. Slowly, the color drains out of her face.

"So, that's it, right? That's what it's all about, isn't it?" She says quietly, almost whispering it. "That's the whole thing, aint it, Joyce?"

Joyce turns around, a little startled in the change of tone in Faith's voice.

"What're you talking about?"

"Your family, Joyce. _Your_ family," Faith says softly, looking at Joyce intensely. "I'll never be part of that, will I?"

"Faith, you're not making sense. Of course you're part of the family…"

"No, I'm really not, Joyce."

Faith looks at the woman standing across from her. Her anger builds, flowing through her body like hot molten metal.

"That's the really harsh thing, Joyce. I'll never be a part of your family, and I'm just now getting that."

"Faith, you're talking crazy. Stop it."

"Crazy? Oh yeah, Joyce, I gotta be crazy. Thinking this would every happen. Shit, what the hell was I thinking? " Faith shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "God, Paulie warned me, and I was too fucking stupid to listen. I'm not real to you. I'm not someone you wanna be with. Grow with, grow old with. Shit, I'm just a little play toy, aint I? You're little dirty secret... you're too fucking ashamed of me to want to be seen with me. God, how fucking dumb can I get?"

"Stop it, Stop IT! I love you, Faith. You know I love you!"

"Really, Joyce? Cuz, I gotta say, I'm not seeing it. I'm seeing you pretending like I'm nothing but the roommate, babe." Faith paces around, trying to work off the angry energy building up. " You don't love me to fight for me, Joyce. To stand up and say 'Hey, I love this girl, screw you if you don't like it'. Not enough to respect me Joyce, " Faith whirls around, and coming to the desk, leans over it. "All I see is me being shoved aside when the important stuff comes along!" She draws back, and hits herself on the forehead. "Dumb ass! God, I'm an idiot! What the hell was I expecting? You couldn't even be bothered to find out if I was ok after you dumped me in Salem!"

"I did wonder. I cared. I just couldn't…"

"What? Call me? Were the phones being monitored or something?"

"What about you? You knew my number, knew where I lived. You never once called me, asking if I was all right." Joyce retorted. "I was scared and alone and I didn't understand what was happening to me. All I knew was my life was gray and meaningless…"

"I came across the country to find you, Joyce. To be with you." Faith said simply. "Left home, left my friends, pretty much cut off my family forever. For you!" She walks around, her nerves near breaking. "God, I agreed to anything you wanted, to be with you. I even live in that crappy room in the basement. Think I like that? Think that's neat? God, it blows. You come down there when you want me, then forget about me when you don't!"

"No, that's not true!" Joyce feels her own anger rising. "You think this has been easy for me? I don't even know _what_ I am anymore. Gay, straight, in between… it's all so confusing. And I've got Buffy going crazy, and Hank acting like an asshole, making my life hell, and my business and it's all too much! I can't handle it all alone!"

"Don't you get it Joyce? That's what I'm trying to tell you, been trying to show you. But you don't see it. I'll help you. I'll make it better if you let me..." She turns, looking into Joyce's eyes. "… but you won't. You don't see me as anything but some … really, I don't know what… but I know I can't live like this, go on like this. I'm can't stand what I feel like, Joyce. I really can't. I can't live feeling cheap and small and dirty…"

"Faith, honey, I love you!" Joyce declares, coming around the desk. "I need you!" She starts to come to Faith, to hug her. Faith stops her.

"Don't, please, don't."

"Faith?"

"You can't fix it like that. I need to be part of your life. Not living on the edges. I won't be the summer fling that thought she was more…"

"No, Faith. It's not like that. I need you, I really need you!"

"No," Faith looks at her, eyes sad, "you need someone you can respect and trust. I was pretty sure I could do that. Not so sure now" She turns, and walks to the door, grabbing the handle.

"The real kicker, Joyce? You just had to give me a little more. A little respect, treat me like you really thought I wasn't some clown," Joyce looks at her, frowning. "I would've done anything for you, Joyce. You and the girls. If you'd only..." Faith shakes her head, and starts to leave.

Joyce doesn't fight fair. She doesn't care. She's about to lose everything if Faith walks out that door. Without thought about anything, she goes over, and flings herself at Faith, wrapping her in her arms, kissing her. Trying to seduce her, get her to forget this insanity.

And for the briefest moment, it works. Faith, overwhelmed, hurting, wanting, NEEDING this, feels her resistance fade. She stands there under the barrage of kisses and caresses, feeling her resolve melt.

But something deep inside, something she's buried for a long time, screams out to resist. And she finally breaks the embrace, pushing Joyce back.

"No, I can't. Not anymore. I wish I could, Joyce. I wish I could just fall in your arms and forget all of it. But I can't"

Before Joyce can recover, Faith is out the door and gone.

Joyce feels her anger and rage, her frustration and hurt hurtle to the surface. Making a strangled noise, she turns and sweeps everything off the top of her desk. Pictures, papers, her computer monitor go crashing to the floor. She swings again, about to knock the rose Faith just gave her across the room.

Then it hits her. It's over. All over but shutting off the lights. She stares at the rose, and feels her knees go weak. Almost without realizing it, she sinks to the floor, her back now leaning against the desk she just assaulted. She sits there, feeling empty and abandoned. The whole world seems to take on a grayish tinge. As if the colors were slowly draining away.

And then the tears come in a flood, and she rolls up into a ball, and cries her heart away.

To be continued.


	19. Chapter 19

A change of Seasons , Part 17

1

"Oh my god, Joyce! What happened?"

Taylor stands frozen in the doorway to her employers office, stunned. The room looks like it's been hit by a hurricane. Worst of all, Joyce appears hurt.

She'd been adjusting the spotlights in the gallery when she heard the crashing. Rushing off the catwalks, she at first thought Tom, Joyce's other assistant, had dropped some cargo in the warehouse.

Then she heard a second crash, and realized it was coming from Joyce's office. She hesitated for a moment, debating calling the police.

_Right, and she might be dead before they arrive, _she thought as she rushed to the office door, flinging it open.

And now, she's confronted by this.

Seeming to wake from a daze, Taylor rushes over to the prone woman, helping her up to her feet. She maneuvers around the pile of papers and junk on the floor, bringing her over to the sofa bed in the corner of the office.

"Faith…" Joyce mumbles, still out of it.

"Faith?" Taylor feels her gorge rise," Faith did this? That stupid bitch, I'll so have the police on her ass…" Taylor gets up, going to retrieve the phone.

"No, Taylor, NO!" Joyce, seeming to snap out of it, grabs the girl's arm, restraining her.

"Joyce, I'm not going to let her get away with trashing you and your office this way…"

"Taylor, you don't understand…" Joyce, using a strength reserved for moms, pulls the young girl down on the sofa. "We had a fight…"

"Oh, I get that, Joyce, " Taylor nods, looking around the office, her nostrils flaring. "You argued, she went postal, trashed the office, tried to hurt you …"

"Taylor! Stop and listen…" Joyce uses the special mom voice that immediately commands attention. "We had a fight. _I_ did this. Faith didn't do this…"

Taylor looks around the office, then back at Joyce. She has a slightly scared look on her face; it's the look of someone who's seeing something she didn't believe was possible.

Joyce Summers was the most stable, gentle person Taylor had ever known. She couldn't conceive of her doing something like this. This was totally out of character for her. It was unbelievable for her.

"You… you did this?" Taylor's voice is full of awe, tinged with just a dollop of fear.

Joyce nods, afraid of her own voice. Right now, if she hears the pain in her voice, she's afraid it'll bring on another monsoon of tears.

"But… why? I don't understand… you had a fight… but…"

"She left me…Oh god, Taylor, she left me!" Joyce breaks down, burying her face in her hands. Her body begins to shake as she goes through another bout of tears.

"She left you?" Taylor puts a comforting arm around the older woman. "Why? I don't get it. You seemed so… good together…"

This brings on a fresh torrent of wails and sobs, and Taylor just holds the woman, hoping to find the right words and actions to comfort her.

"I…I treated her… oh god, I'm such a shit heel, Taylor…" Joyce sobs out, shaking and crying, seeking some comfort in Taylor's arms. She looks up at Taylor, her face red and tear streaked. "She's right, I never treated her like… I was sooo selfish… I thought… and she tried, tried to help me… did so much… and I … oh god, I'm a horrible person…"

"Joyce! You're not a horrible person. I can't think of anyone that could be less of a horrible person…." She hugs Joyce. "You're sweet, kind woman. I don't know what happened, but I know you could never…"

"But I did! I treated her like…" Joyce, in stops and starts, gets out the reason for the fight, and everything else. She finally, overwhelmed again, hangs her head; hurt, miserable and ashamed.

"Joyce, please don't take this wrong. But you're making Mt. Rushmore out of anthills here…" Taylor strokes her back, trying to cheer up the distraught woman. " God, Billy and I fight all the time. Of course, he's a guy and an inconsiderate pig and deserves to be knocked in line once in awhile, but even so… it hurts, and sometimes it feels like he'll just up and leave me, but he always comes back, apologetic…"

"This isn't a spat, Taylor. I… I made her feel cheap and used and… oh god, not important! Oh my god she's the most important thing in my life, my rock, my sanity, and she… and I… how could I be so stupid? She loves me, she really loves me, and I … I love her! I REALLY love her…like no one else… and …now she's gone… and … and… oh god…" Joyce just seems to shrink into herself. It's as if the thought of possibly never seeing Faith again steals the very life out of her.

"Joyce, stop it!" Taylor, a little offended by Joyce's dismissal, but far more from concern, takes the grieving woman by the shoulders and shakes her. "You're being way, way too hard on yourself. Yeah, you made mistakes, but she did too!"

"What're you talking about? She didn't…"

"She could've stood up for herself earlier, in a less confrontational way. She could've told you right out that she wanted you to be upfront and open about your relationship. She's not guiltless here, and I'm thinking she's working from emotion than from hurt. She better damn well know when she's gotta good thing, and not throw it away. Once she cools down a little, she'll come around."

Joyce looks at the girl, feeling a strong affection for her and her loyalty. _So young, she just doesn't get it…_

"Taylor, you're sweet, "She grips the younger woman's hand, squeezing it. "And I so love how you come out swinging to defend me," Joyce can't help smiling, just a little. Then the frown reappears. " But what I did was wrong, very wrong. I made her feel… useless, unnecessary and unwanted. Those are hard to forgive, hon. And Faith is one to do what she says she's going to do. She…maybe I should just accept she's moving away from me, moving out like this…" Her voice has a bleak tone.

"No way!"

"I'm sorry?"

"NO WAY!" Taylor stands up, looking around. "I've watched you make something out of this place. You're gutsy Joyce, and not one to quit. You want this girl, well then, quit the pity party, and you get her back. She loves you, at least you think so, and you love her. So, don't accept this "I'm leaving" stuff!"

"It's not that easy Taylor…"

"Yeah, well nothing worth it ever is. Is it, Joyce?"

_From the mouth of babes…_

"NO, I guess it's not, is it?"

"So, what're we gonna do?"

"Get her back," Joyce says quietly, without much spirit in her voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that!" Taylor stands over Joyce. "Never gonna win with that 'tude!" She leans down, looking in Joyce's face. "What're we gonna do? C'mon, let me hear you!"

"Get her back!"

"Louder!"

"Get HER BACK!" Joyce almost yells it out, and strangely, feels more hopeful.

She gives Taylor a sidelong glance.

"You didn't happen to be a cheerleader in school, did you?"

"You betcha! Santa Maria Warriors. Three years running, Captain in my senior year."

_Now, how did I know that?_ Joyce feels a lot better than she did just a few minutes ago.

Taylor turns and looks at the debris in the office. "God, whatta mess. We better get busy…"

2

"Screw this!"

Buffy sits brooding at her window, once again angry at her life.

It's been a few hours since her blowup at the breakfast table, and she's still burning mad. _How can she do this? Why do I have to suffer just because that … idiot… Faith says so? Who does she think she is, anyway?_

_Know what? I don't care. I really don't! I'm tired of living here. No one wants me around, anyway. They hate me, and I hate them. I HATE THEM!_

She walks over to her vanity. Stuck in the frame are pictures of her and Dawn, her and her mother. Even one of her and her mother and Hank and Dawn. She pulls them down, tearing them up and throwing them in the trash.

For a moment, she stares at the trash can, feeling a sense of loss. Then her expression hardens.

_What do I care anyway? They don't. They'll probably be glad to get rid of me, you know? They just think I'm trouble, anyway. I'm sick of them looking at me like I'm some kinda ugly bug. I'm sick of them, period._

She strides over to her closet, and pulls out a couple of suitcases. She takes them, and throws them on the bed.

She stands looking at the cases, feeling irresolute. Despite her anger, she feels rather lost. Despite everything, this is her home; it's hard to just walk away.

_Where am I gonna go? I don't know anyone here… I so HATE this town! I don't know anyone here, I can't go anywhere; I'm stuck here, like some prisoner…_ She takes the cases, and throws them across the room, in the general direction of the closet. Flouncing down angrily on the bed, she stares out the window.

The room feels more and more like a prison cell. _I can't go anywhere, I can't do ANYTHING, without asking… mommy first. Like I'm 5 years old or something. I'm almost an adult, but she treats me like a child! I'm stuck here, in this stupid prison, in this stupid town, with these stupid, stupid people!_

She hops to her feet, pacing, looking like a caged panther.

Back and forth, back and forth. She pauses at the window, looking out.

The day is bright and sunny; everything outside looks fresh and renewed, full of life and color. _And I'm stuck in here,_ she turns away from the window, looking at her room. It seems dark and gray in the room, the light partially blocked by her body. All the color seems leached out, leaving only blacks and whites and shades of gray. She feels gray, inside and out.

She's startled when she hears a car pull into the driveway. _God, is she back already? I thought she'd be gone longer! Just what I need, another lecture from mom on what a rotten daughter I am. I can hardly wait._

She turns around, and is surprised when, instead of the SUV, she sees her Father's car; with her father getting out of the car.

_I thought he wasn't coming. I thought she was going to call him to cancel…_ She suddenly smiles, her eyes narrowing. _She must've forgotten… well, too bad for her!_

As if a curtain has been pulled back, revealing a secret room she's never seen before, it suddenly hits her. _Dad. I can live with Dad. He's living here now, that's what he said last night. So, why can't I live with him now? Even if he doesn't stay, I really DON'T care. Not like I like it here…_

She hears knocking at the front door. She smiles, realizing freedom from all this is at hand. Looking over at the closet, she hesitates a moment. _Maybe I should… no, not yet. Gotta think. Gotta make it right. Make it so he wants me to be around._

She goes to the window, and calls down below.

"Dad?"

Hank emerges from the porch, looking up at her window.

"Buffy? What's going on? Where's everybody?"

"Oh, they left. It's just me… I'll be right down…"

"Did you ask you're mom if you could spend the day with me?"

"Oh yeah," Buffy says, "She's cool with it. She had some work to do at the gallery, anyway…"

"What about Dawn? Is she with you?"

"Uhhh…" _Crap, I forgot about Dawnie…_" No, she had a date with her boyfriend… you met him last night… remember?"

"Really? What was his name… Randy?"

"No, Xander."

"Oh yeah… right," Hank frowns. "She couldn't even make a day for her old dad?"

"You know Dawn, dad. She's all about herself… no probs, anyway. We'll have more fun without the squirt…"

"Don't call your sister names, Buffy… and can we stop yelling? I think the neighbors will call the police soon."

"Be down in a sec, dad."

Buffy starts out, then pauses at the mirror. She unbuttons her blouse a few buttons, and primps her hair. Taking a critical look at her makeup, she nods approvingly.

Finished, she walks over, kicking the cases in the closet.

_Won't need ya right now, but soon…_ She smiles to herself. _Pretty sure I can convince daddy to let me come live with him. _

Smiling a Cheshire cat smile, she goes down to meet her father.

3

Faith pulls the bike into the driveway on Revello drive, pulling the bike close to the garage. Cutting the engine, she sits there a moment, staring at the garage door.

_Well, nice going there, Faith. Really nice. Really mature, blowing up like a bad tempered child at her. Did she really deserve that?_

Faith swings her leg off the bike, turning to stride up the walkway to the front door.

_I dunno, god, I just don't gotta clue what to do, really. She won't listen to me. She won't consider my opinion; she feels I just don't know enough… and I gotta admit, it really hurts to think someone you care about and respect don't respect you back._

_Yeah, well, maybe she would respect you if you tried talking things out, rather than losing your temper and running away when things don't go your way._

_She doesn't listen. I try to talk to her, and she doesn't listen. What am I going to do, just hang in there and pretend it doesn't bother me that she doesn't treat me like a partner? I mean, that's what this is about, right? Being together, sharing the stuff, being a couple. I beginning to think maybe she doesn't even want that…_

Faith lets out a deep sigh, digging in her pocket for the key.

_I dunno. All I know is, I gotta get outta here for awhile. Give me some time to think, her time to think. Maybe we can work this out, but right now, all I know is I don't know what to do. I can't go on being treated like anything I say or do doesn't count._

Faith lifts the key, intending to put it in the door. But her hand is shaking so badly, she has a hard time shoving it in the lock.

_God, look at me. I hate this. I HATE THIS! I don't want to do this. I don't want to go. God, why can't this just go smooth, for once? Why can't things just be good? Why does it always gotta get shitty?_

Faith leans against the doorjamb for a moment, trying to collect her cool and calm herself.

She's had to leave before, enough times to know what it's like. But this isn't like any time before; her insides feel like they've been run through the mangle cycle on extra mayhem. Everything hurts, and nothing feels right.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ She feels the tears starting to burn her eyes. _Why can't I ever get it right, just once? Why can't… oh shit, just shut up and do it. Get packed and go before you chicken out and go crawling back on your knees. Nothing's gonna get right unless she wants to make it right. Don't you get that yet?_

Angrily, she shoves the key in the lock, opens the door , and slams it behind her.

_This is totally fucked!_

4

_Stupid. Stupid, stupid, oh, and did I say?… stupid?_

Dawn strides hurriedly up the sidewalk to her home. She's obviously angry and hurt. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are puffy, threatening tears.

_Why'd he even do that? What was he thinking, anyway? He knew we were going to meet at the Espresso Pump. Is he going senile? Last night, just before we smooched goodnight, he said "See you tomorrow at the Pump around noon, ok?"_

_Ok, so I was a couple of minutes early. No big. At least, I thought no big, but boy was I wrong!_

_There he was, chatting up Janice, god! And she was so close, you couldn't have driven a piece of paper between them with a sledgehammer!_

_How could I be so stupid? To think he'd want to hang out with me, a stupid new kid? Lowest of the low? Even freshman are better than a new kid! God, what the hell was I thinking, anyway?_

_How could he do that to me? ME! I … he… GRRR… ALEXANDER HARRIS! I HOPE YOUR THING SHRIVELS UP AND FALLS OFF! YOU… YOU… BOY!_

_Oh, sure, he said it wasn't anything. WHORE of a bitch Janice just CAME UP and started talking to him. HAH! Talking, my ass! I saw the way she was all over him, like a cheap suit on a pimp! Doing the hair flip thing! And the giggle as the lame jokes thing! rubbing up against him, touching him with those … claws… of hers. And he's just standing there, not EVEN trying to back off or get away. Just eating it up like a cat slurping milk!_

_And he THINKS I'm going to buy that lame-o story how he was just standing there, minding his own business?_

_"Dawnie, I swear, I wasn't flirting with her!" He said, lying through his perfect white teeth!_

_"Oh yeah, like you were sooo repulsed by her! I saw you, Xander Harris!" I said, full of righteous anger and fury!_

_"But, Dawnie, really, it wasn't anything. She was just trying to…"_

_"Don't EVEN! I know what that… THAT… SLUT was trying to do!"_

_Does he think I'm stupid? Does he think I just fell off the turnip truck?_

"_Dawn, quit acting crazy! It's not like that at all! She just wanted me to join the debate team…" Does he think I didn't know when he's lying? "She thinks I could be good team member!"_

_"Do you think I'm stupid, Alexander Lavelle Harris?" I stood there, proud, arms crossed, glaring him down with my best withering stare!_

_"Stupid? I didn't say you were stupid!" The lying, cheating creep said to me, his gorgeous black hair falling over his lying, cheating beautiful eyes!_

_"Well, you must think I'm stupid, if you think I'd buy a lame-o excuse like that one!" Take that! You despicable, cheating gorgeous hunk of a skunk!_

_"B-But Dawnie, I'd never…"_

_"I don't talk to cheating, lying two faced BASTARDS!" I turned, my body straight, my hair gorgeous, my chin held HIGH! I strode away, valiant and vindicated, leaving that … that… man slut in my dust…._

_Yeah, except that never happened. I saw them laughing and talking, that witch touching his arm, flirting like mad, and what did I do? I slunk away like a wounded puppy, tail firmly planted between my legs._

_HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO ME! BASTARD! MEN ARE BASTARDS, EVERY ONE OF THEM!_

She was so wrapped in her cloud of anger and despair that she was halfway past the second house down from hers before she even realized it.

_Damn him! Now I can't even find my way home. Creep! Loser! Creepy Loser!_

She turns around, and starts back, muttering curses and thinking violent thoughts women have used for centuries when contemplating the cheating bastard male of the species. She's crossing the driveway when she notices Faith's bike parked up next to the garage. She pauses; then for the first time this morning, it seems, she smiles.

_Good, Faith's home! She'll know what to do. Maybe I can get her to go with me. We'll beat up Xander, and maybe tear that slutty whore of a Janice Peters to bits. Or at least, she can tell me how I can get back at that… grrr…_

Still hurt and frustrated and angry, she nevertheless feels better, lighter somehow. Now that someone's here… to listen.

She quickly trots up the steps, and enters, hoping Faith isn't busy.

"Faith? You here?" She calls out from the foyer, looking around.

No answer.

_Where is she?_ Dawn moves towards the kitchen. _She must be down…_

"Uuuumph!" Dawn lets out a grunt when she nearly trips over the bag.

She looks down, seeing a large duffel bag sitting in the middle of the floor. _What the hell? _

"Faith, you here? What's with the bag?"

Faith appears in the kitchen, slipping into her leather jacket. Seeing Dawn, she pauses. Smiling tightly, she stands looking a little guilty.

"Hey, kid," Faith says as she turns back towards the cellar.

"What's going on? Why is your bag here?" Dawn starts to get a cold feeling in her stomach.

Faith, still not looking at her, half shrugs. " Things just haven't worked out, kid." She walks towards the cellar door.

" 'Things haven't worked out'? What's that supposed to mean?" Dawn plays it dumb. She doesn't want to really think about what that means.

Faith pauses at the door. She looks at Dawn, and immediately feels some little pain in her heart. She really likes the younger woman.

"It means, Dawnie," she says softly, "That me being here isn't working out. It's time I moved on."

"What? Y-You're leaving?" Dawn feels as if the air is suddenly thicker; too thick to breathe.

Faith nods, her face tight. "Yeah, pretty much, Dawn."

"And what? If I hadn't come home, you'd just be gone? No goodbye, nothing. Just gone?" Dawn's voice starts to rise.

"I would've left a note or something…" Faith shrugs, realizing how lame that sounds.

"A note," Dawn goes over to her, hitting her on the arm.

"HEY!" Faith glowers, rubbing her arm. "What was _that_ for?"

"You're leaving, and you're maybe going to leave a NOTE!" Dawn yells at her, hitting her again. "You just walk out, and all I get is a STUPID NOTE!" Dawn's face flushes, and she turns away, steaming. "What kind of stupid, mean trick is THAT!"

"Dawn?" Faith is somewhat surprised at Dawn's vehement reaction. "I wasn't trying to be mean…"

"You live here, and one day decide to leave, and tell NO ONE, and that's not MEAN? How do you figure that one, Faith?"

"I told your mom, Dawn," Faith says quietly.

"What? When? I mean, geeze, we don't even get any warning here? You weren't leaving this morning Faith. When you talked to me this morning, you didn't say ONE thing about leaving. Everything was fine. What happened? Why are you leaving now…?"

Faith stares at her, not exactly knowing what to say.

_I can't tell her what's going on between Joyce and me. I promised Joyce I wouldn't. _She feels her anger rise; Faith really hates lying. Especially to someone she cares about. _So nice, so very nice… she deserves the truth, and I can't tell her. Dammit!_

"Look, Dawn, let's be honest here, " Faith almost cringes at that statement. "Things haven't gone right since I got here. I thought, being here, I could help out… but I just seem to make things worse… so, it's better if I leave now…" Faith starts down the stairs.

"Who told you that?" Dawn follows her, not letting her off the hook. "Who told you it'd be better if you left? Not me, I can tell you! I like you here. I can talk to you about stuff. I NEED to talk to you about stuff! I can't talk to mom about this stuff, she'd have a fit. And Buffy…" Dawn's eyes suddenly go wide. " Buffy. It's Buffy, isn't it?"

"Dawn, no. It's not Buffy. It's not any one person or thing. It's a whole lotta things, ok? Things just aren't working out, and …"

"Don't try to protect her! God, everyone tries to protect her, and all she does is spit in your face for doing it!" Dawn throws her arms heavenward, looking up as if talking to God directly. "How does she do it? How does she manage to ruin everyone's life!" She looks back at Faith. "It's always this way. It never changes! Buffy this, and Buffy that. Everything revolves around her! God, I'm so sick of it, I wanna puke! She ruins everything, and always gets away with it!" Dawn wants, needs something to kick. Only seeing the sofa bed handy, she walks over and kicks it. " OUCH! Dammit, that hurts, "She grabs her foot, rubbing it. " God, I can't even kick something and get away with it, and she gets away with everything. I hate her! I HATE HER!"

Faith walks over to Dawn, grabbing her by her shoulders. Her face is angry, and she shakes her.

"HEY!"

"Don't EVER say that, Dawn! I don't care what she does, don't you ever hate your sister!" Faith glares at her, causing Dawn to wilt a little. "She's family, your blood, Dawn. Don't ever forget that!"

"Stop it! Let me go! You're hurting me!" Dawn cries, trying to wriggle out of Faith's grasp.

Faith releases her, but doesn't move away. " You only get one family, girl. I don't care how mad you get at them; that's just fine. But you never hate them!"

"Leave me alone! You're leaving, you don't care! You're not the boss of me!" Dawn stumbles back and away from her. "Don't you lecture me on what to do!"

"Dawnie, just because I'm leaving, that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I do, Dawn. I care about you a lot."

"Then don't leave!" Dawn's voice takes on a desperate note. "Whatever it is, we can fix it. We can make it right, I promise. Just don't leave, please. I need you. Buffy, stupid as she is, she needs you. Please, don't go!"

"Dawn," Faith feels like she's being torn up inside all over again. _God, I didn't know it was gonna be this hard!_ "…honey, this is something that just can't be patched over. It's … more complicated than that. And, for now, it's best I'm not here…"

"No, it's NOT!" Dawn shakes her head, face flushing again. "It's NOT best you're not here! Why can't you see that?" She stares at Faith, her voice growing harder. "What about my mom? How does she feel about this?"

_Oh, god, Dawnie, don't ask me that!_

"You're mom knows I'm leaving, Dawn," is all she says.

"That isn't what I asked you! I asked how does she feel about this? You leaving?"

"You should ask her that, Dawn," Faith evades the question.

"I'm asking you!"

"Dawn, it's not my place to say, all right? You have to ask her…"

"No, it's so not all right!" Dawn walks over to Faith, grabbing her arm. "Do you think I don't know what's going on? Do you think I'm stupid?"

_Not in a million would I think that, Dawn._

"Of course not. But… Dawn, look. Even though I'm leaving here, I'm going to be in Sunnydale. At least for a while. Just because I'm not here, doesn't mean we're not friends, ok? I still like you loads, kiddo. If you need me…" She walks over, grabbing a pen off her desk. Ripping a sheet off the pad, she writes something down. "… you can get me here. This is where I'll be staying. My cell phone number's on there too, ok?"

Dawn looks at the sheet of paper, then looks at Faith. Slowly, she crumples the paper in her hand, and tosses it away.

"Dawn! What're you doing?" Faith goes to recover the paper.

"Forget it, ok?" Dawn's voice takes on a cold tone. "I know why you're leaving, even IF you won't come out and say it. And frankly, I'm thinking maybe it's for the best. Maybe you don't belong here, after all. You're just like her…" Dawn's face grows harder. "All you care about is yourself. Well, good luck with that. And hey, don't let the door hit you in the ass when you leave…"

Dawn turns, and trots up the stairs, seething.

"Dawn, wait. Honey, don't … let me talk to you…"

"Frankly, I don't really think we got anything to say to each other, do you?" Dawn calls over her shoulder. "Seeya… but I won't hold my breath waiting."

With that, Dawn exits the basement, slamming the door after her.

Faith stares up the stairway, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. She turns, and seeing the dresser, kicks it hard.

_Cool move, Faith. Really cool._

5

Buffy stands at the motel window, holding the shade open with her hand. She has a faraway, contemplative look on her face as she watches the late afternoon sun heading towards the horizon.

She pulls her father's shirt closer to her body, suddenly feeling a little cold. She feels a little confused, and a whole lot lost. She can't help wondering if what Hank's asking of her is right.

_He thinks I'm special. I know he does, he told me. And I love him… I want to keep him around… I need him… I need someone who loves me…_

"Buffy?"

Hank enters the room, wrapped in a bathrobe. His hair is damp, indicating a shower. He walks over to Buffy, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Are you ok, pumpkin?" He asks, sounding concerned.

Buffy leans back into him, and his arms snake around her waist, holding her closer.

"Yeah, I'm ok," she says in a soft, little girl voice. "Just thinking…"

"What're you thinking about?"

"I just don't know if it's right," Buffy says softly, leaning against him. "I just don't feel right doing it."

"Buffy, I know it's hard for you…" Hank says, soothingly, "It makes you feel like you're sneaking around, right?"

"Well… yeah," Buffy admits. "It just doesn't seem right, somehow…"

Hank sighs.

"Buffy, I know you feel it's wrong, but it's the only way. I wouldn't ask you if I had any choice."

"But, daddy…" Buffy looks at him, brow wrinkled with concern.

"Buffy, your mother wants to take you away from me. You and Dawn, both. Do you want that?"

"N-No…"

"Then you've got to do this, Buffy. I'm not asking you to do anything illegal… just keep your eyes and ears open. If you see your mom, or…what's that girl's name?"

"Faith," Buffy face sours.

"Yeah, Faith. If you see them up to anything, doing anything… together… just let me know. I'll take care of the rest." He looks Buffy in the eyes. "I know you feel like your telling on them, but they started this, Buffy. Not me. I didn't want to have to spy on them, but their forcing my hand. I won't lose you and Dawn. You understand?"

"Yeah, I get it," Buffy says, her expression hardening. "I'll do it. She doesn't mind spying on me, does she."

"Exactly. Your mother's real good at digging out the dirt. Let's see how she likes it served up to her."

"And… " Buffy turns around, facing him. "You'll do the other? Let me come live with you? I can't … I won't live there anymore. I just can't."

"Buffy, as soon as I can, I'll let you. For right now, I need you with your mother."

"Ok," Buffy doesn't seem thrilled by that prospect.

"C'mon," Hank puts an arm around her shoulder. "We better get you dressed and back home before you mom makes a fuss."

"I need to shower first…"

"Ok, I left some towels in the bathroom for you."

"Thanks, dad," Buffy says, smiling brightly.

Hank smiles back, and turns towards the bedroom.

Buffy's smile quickly fades, her expression tight.

_This is what I want, isn't it? To live with dad? It's what I want!_

Still, as she heads for the bathroom, she doesn't seem very happy at all.

6

"Buffy? Dawn?"

Joyce moves into the foyer, looking around at the apparently empty house.

_Where is everyone?_ Joyce looks up the stairs, not getting any response. _It feels so… empty…_

"Faith?"

Joyce's voice reflects her fear and hope. Fear that she'll meet Faith again, and it'll be round two, and even harder than it was in her office, and hope that she'll meet Faith again, and they can straighten this out, make it right.

Getting no response, she moves further into the house. She's turning towards the living room just as a crash comes from the cellar. Startled, she whirls around.

_What the heck was that?_ _Faith? _She starts towards the cellar door, and stops._ Whoa up. What if it's not Faith? I didn't see her motorcycle in the driveway. What if it's a burglar?_ She starts towards the phone, and stops again. _What if it IS Faith, though? I mean, she could've parked down the street, I wouldn't have noticed … and I didn't see any evidence of break in… oh that'd really do it. Call the police on her! _

_But what if it is a burglar? Damn!_

She looks around, and not seeing anything, goes to the broom closet. She comes out with a mop.

_Oh, this'll be just great… but… damn…_

She walks to the cellar door, and opens it quietly. She backs off, and looks around the corner. _Cellar light's on… ok… oh god… I'm really not up for this!_

"WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOU BETTER LEAVE NOW! I'VE CALLED THE POLICE, AND I'M ARMED!"

She hears another crash, and her heart leaps into her throat. _Damn, it IS a burglar!_ She starts to back away toward the phone.

"I can't find it. I CAN'T FIND IT!" A voice yells, full of sorrow and frustration. "I know it's here! Where _IS_ it?"

_Dawn?_

"Dawn? Honey, is that you?"

"I can't find it!"

Joyce goes down the stairs, and stops.

The whole basement apartment is in disarray: the furniture at odd angles, as if moved around, the bedclothes torn off and on the floor. The trash can is upended, and the papers and cans are sitting in a heap on the floor.

Dawn, for her part, is on her knees. She's in the far corner, trying to reach under the dresser.

"Dawn Summers! What happened? What're you doing?"

Dawn looks up and sees her mother. She scrambles to her feet, standing by the dresser. She looks both sad and guilty at the same time.

"Dawn, what's going on? Why're you in Faith's apartment?" Joyce surveys the room, frowning. "Did you do this?"

"I'm looking for something. I lost something…" She rocks back and forth on her feet, feeling nervous.

"You lost something? Down here, in Faith's apartment?" Joyce is puzzled and concerned. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing, forget it. Not important," Dawn says in a rush, as she heads for the stairs. She starts up, when Joyce calls out.

"Dawn, stop!"

Dawn stops, gripping the railing.

"Come back here, I want to talk to you."

Dawn turns, but she doesn't move.

"Dawn, come here." Joyce's voice takes a stern note.

Dawn, with a sullen expression on her face, comes down the stair. She stands at the foot, staring at the floor.

"Would you like to explain yourself? Why are you tearing up Faith's private space? Don't you think she'd be upset, considering? I know you wouldn't like it if I started rifling through your room, would you?"

"Why would she care?" Dawn looks up at Joyce, defiantly, "I mean, she just moved out…"

Even though Faith had told her she was going to move out, the reality hits her like a hammer. She stands there, stunned.

"Moved out?" Joyce says, quietly. _I thought at least I… I'd have a chance to talk to her… I thought maybe I could smooth it over…_

"Yeah, moved out. This afternoon. Said it wasn't working out here…" Dawn's tone is angry and hurt and confused at the same time. "Why? What happened? Why did she think that?"

"Dawn… I don't… I don't know what …"

"DON'T LIE TO ME! I'M NOT A CHILD!" Dawn yells at her, shocking Joyce. She can't remember the last time Dawn yelled, period. "Do you really think I'm stupid, mom? I know you and her had a fight or something. Was it over Buffy? Did my great, wonderful sister do this?"

"No, Dawn, this isn't about…"

"Don't lie to me, mom. I'm really sick of it. Everyone thinks because I'm the youngest, I'm totally stupid. Well, I'm _not_ stupid, mom! I know this had something to do with Buffy. If there's trouble, just look for Buffy. You know she's at the center of it!"

"Dawn, that's enough about Buffy! I told you, it wasn't about her!"

"Then what was it?" Dawn looks at her mother, and catches a strange expression. _What's the guilty look for? Oh, my GOD!_

"She…oh my god, she hit on you, didn't she? Oh my god, she hit on you!"

"What?" Joyce looks at her daughter in amazement. "Where did that come from?"

"Oh, please, mom!" Dawn puts on an exasperated tone. "Do you think I'm blind? I could see the way she looks at you, and you've been all smiles. I figured she was flirting a little with you. I mean, she _is_ a lesbian after all. I imagine it's kinda natural enough…" _though, eewww… flirting with my mom?_ "… but I'm guessing she saw you today, somewhere, and she hit on you and you freaked out and told her to leave…"

"Dawn, that's really …"

"Well, what else could it be? It must've been a little freaky for you, I mean, she's not a whole lot older than I am, and she makes a pass at you. But, did you have to tell her to leave? I mean, it was just a mistake, couldn't you forgive her for it? I mean, Buffy blows it all the time, and you forgive her… and … I really don't want her to go… c'mon, mom, give her another chance here. I'm sure she won't …"

"Dawn, stop! It wasn't _anything _like that! Please, I'm old enough to…" Joyce stops. She looks into Dawn's questioning eyes, and somehow, she can't lie to her anymore. Not about this. It's too important.

"Then, it was Buffy! I knew it! She ruins _everything!_ God, mom, don't do this. don't let Buffy drive Faith away. We need her here. Lately, she seems to be the only _sane _person left in the house… you gotta fix this, mom, please?"

_God, how did everything get so darned twisted around? This… I just can't do this anymore._

"Dawn, again. It's not about Buffy. I really need to talk to you, honey. There's something I need to tell you…"

Dawn mistakes the look in Joyce's eyes, and cringes a little.

"What did I do? Did I do something? Did I…"

"Dawn, no. Please, come upstairs. Please."

"But I…" She looks around the room. "… I've got to find that paper…"

"Let's talk first, then we can find it, ok? I'll help you, after…"

Something in Joyce's words or phrasing, maybe it was her tone, tips Dawn to the fact that this is important. And maybe, something she isn't going to like.

"Mom, I really…"

"Dawn, please. It's important."

_Damn._

"Ok, mom…" Dawn licks her lips. Somehow, she's suddenly nervous. She turns, and heads upstairs.

As Joyce follows her, the reality that Faith is gone, really gone, hits her. Hits her hard. She feels all she wants to do is go to her room, lock the door, and hide under the covers, crying. But she can't. Because of Dawn… and Buffy. They need her now.

And they need to know the truth. Now.

7

"No way!"

Dawn stares at her mother, shocked. She can't believe her ears; she really can't believe what her mother told her.

Joyce has just spent the last 90 minutes, telling Dawn about her and Faith's true relationship. It hasn't been easy; some of it has been downright painful. And knowing Faith is gone, maybe for good, doesn't make things easier.

But she told her, every bit of it… editing out the intimate parts… About Boston, and how Hank found out, and blackmailed her to break it off with Faith. How she thought she'd never see her again, until that night she showed up at the gallery. How they'd been having an affair since, first at Faith's, then here. How they've been keeping it from everyone, because of what might happen if it got out.

"… and then, she left. She was hurt, thinking I didn't respect her. She thought…" Joyce winds up the story. Her voice is calm, but her eyes are sad.

"What?" Dawn sits there, slightly open mouth, blinking at her. "You… and…wait a minute… you and Faith… you two knew each other… you've…" Dawn feels a strong internal shudder, though she doesn't show it. _Parents and sex, ewww. Parents having sex with a friend, double ewww!_ "… you two have…" She looks at her mom like she just landed from Mars. "How, I mean… why? No, how did it… did you… I mean, I thought you guys were like… friends, ok, I thought that was cool… and were flirting a little… ok, that's cool… but… oh… my … god…"

Joyce, despite her sadness, almost has to laugh. Seeing her normally cool, calm, sophisticated "Oh, god, mom, like who _doesn't_ know that" teenaged daughter bamboozled almost to the point of speechless is almost priceless. _Ok, Joyce, this is serious. But she's so cute looking confused! Stop it! She needs answers, not you laughing at her._

"Honey, I know it's hard to accept…"

"You had sex… you two… had sex?" Dawn asks as if the very notion was impossible.

Joyce blushes furiously. _Just like her to ask the one really embarrassing question, isn't it?_

"Well… yes, honey, we did … we were intimate…"

"But… you're not supposed to have sex except with Dad, and I _NEVER _want to know about that…" Dawn almost shivers.

"Dawn, please!" the mention of Hank is like a glass of ice water over the head. "You're father and I haven't been … intimate… in awhile…"

"Does that mean you go and have sex with the first person you find? What's that about?"

"Dawn Marie Summers! It's … it wasn't like that…"

"So, what? All this time she's been living here, you guys have been doing it? I mean, what? Did she go to your room, or you to hers… oh my god, you were doing it down there, and I was… " Dawn gets that look on her face again; it's somewhere between amazement and disgust.

"Dawn, you make it sound dirty… it isn't… wasn't dirty…" Joyce says, defensively. "I know this came as a shock to you. Maybe I should've done it better, but I felt you needed to know the truth…"

"Oh yeah, I need to know the truth. My mom is a lesbian. Yeah, I really _needed to know that!"_

"Dawn, I don't know what I am, or have any label for what I am. I just know I love Faith…"

"You love a woman. That makes you a lesbian, mom. Look it up sometime!"

"That's enough, Dawn! You make it sound dirty…" Joyce is beginning to understand exactly what Faith meant, now. "Faith is a lesbian, so is Willow. Is it bad for them to be… like that?"

"That's Faith and Willow. That's _NOT MY MOM!_" Dawn explodes out of her chair. "My mom isn't supposed to be a lesbian! She's supposed to be with my dad…" Dawn starts to cry now. "You're supposed to love each other…"

"Dawn, honey…" Joyce gets up, circling the table to comfort her daughter.

"No, stay away. Don't touch me!" Dawn yells at her, backing away. "You're a lesbian. God, maybe I'm a lesbian too. Maybe Buffy's a lesbian. Maybe that's why she's so weird. Why you guys fight so much. God, I hate this, I hate ALL OF THIS!" Dawn seems to fold in on herself, holding herself.

"Dawn, it's not a disease. It's not catching…" Joyce moves over to her daughter, who backs up. "I love you, Dawnie, please, don't shut me out…"

"Just stay away from me," Dawn says in a little girl frightened voice. "Just leave me alone!"

"Dawn, baby…" Joyce moves closer.

"This isn't right. None of this is right!" Dawn says, miserably. "It's not supposed to be like this …"

"Sweetheart," Joyce says gently, "no matter what I feel for Faith, that doesn't change what I feel for you. You're my little Dawnie. My sweet little Punkin-belly. That'll never change." Joyce wraps her daughter in her arms.

Dawn resists for a moment, weakly, then gives in.

"Why? Why did this happen? I don't…" Dawn looks up at Joyce with bright, tear filled eyes.

"Honey, shhh," Joyce cuddles her daughter. "You're father and I… we've been growing apart for a long time. Long before the divorce and the rest. We finally just realized that we aren't the same people we were when we got married. We've grown and changed, and we grew apart. We just don't love each other anymore."

"You… you don't love daddy?"

"No, sweetie. Not anymore."

"But… if you changed how you feel about him, that means you might change how you feel…"

"No," Joyce cuts her off. "Never!" She cups Dawn's face in her hands. "I love you baby, and I always will. You're my daughter, and that's for life. I'll always love you and Buffy, no matter what happens. That's why when push came to shove, I left Faith… back in Boston. I couldn't think of a life without you and Buffy in it."

"But why can't you make it work with dad? Why can't you try?" She breaks from Joyce, standing apart.

Joyce just looks at her daughter. What more could she say that won't make Hank out as the villain? She doesn't want to ruin her relationship with her dad, nor come off as the victim. She just wants to make Dawn understand.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. We just don't love each other anymore."

"You're supposed to love each other. It's supposed to be forever. How can you not love him anymore?" Dawn looks at her, simply not getting it.

"Dawn, I…"

"Never mind," Dawn cuts her off, not wanting to hear it anymore. "This all really sucks, you know? Why didn't you tell us? Tell me, at least. Why were you keeping it some big secret? Were you ever going to tell us? I mean, if Faith hadn't left?"

"Dawn, honey, I'm sorry. I really am. I should've told you, but I was afraid you wouldn't understand. I really don't understand all of it, and I …"

"Do you know how stupid I feel? Thinking you and Dad would work it all out, that we'd be a family again? That maybe Faith could stay on, be …" Dawn turns away. She can't look at her mother. "This is all fucked up!"

"Dawn! Don't use that kind of language!"

"Why not? What's the point? It's all screwy now, isn't it? No wonder Buffy is worse than usual. Does she know about you and Faith? Am I the only idiot around here?"

"No, honey. I haven't told Buffy about it."

"Well, at least it kinda makes sense now…"

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't understand why Faith was so over the top trying to protect Buffy. She got kicked outta school and fired because of Buffy, and I mean, c'mon, if she's just the 'boarder', why? But I guess she was just trying to impress you or something…"

"Dawn Summers! That's unfair. Faith cares about you and Buffy. A lot."

"Yeah, sure, that's why she left, right? Because she cares so much." Dawn's face gets a sour look. "God, what a dope I am. She pretends to care, cuz she's your lover, and I fell for it. I'm a dope, a real dope."

"Dawn, that's just wrong. Faith does care about you."

"Oh yeah, right. Again, not stupid, mom. She was just pretending to care, because well… she wanted to get down your…"

"Dawn Marie Summers, don't you even finish that sentence!"

"Why not? It's the truth!"

"It's not the truth. Faith genuinely cares about you and Buffy."

"Yeah right."

"Dawn, that first night, when she came here with Buffy, drugged out of her mind in tow, she didn't even KNOW Buffy was my daughter. She just jumped in and helped her because that's the kind of person she is. She was very surprised when I answered the door; as I was, seeing her there with Buffy. I thought at first she was…" Joyce blushes. She waves it off. "It's terrible what I thought. But even after she knew, she stuck around, to be sure Buffy would be ok. It didn't matter what I thought; she just cares about people. That's who she is…"

"Sure mom, sure," Dawn has a blank look on her face. "She cares so much, she leaves first chance she gets. If she cares so much, why did she book?"

"It's my fault Dawn, ok?" Joyce feels backed into a corner. "She was angry with me, because I didn't believe her when she told me about Buffy and Hank. I just couldn't believe what she was saying…" Joyce looks at her youngest closely. "She said you said you saw something funny…?"

"What? NO!" Dawn gets defensive. "I mean, I came in with Xander, and dad was here, talking to Buffy… and everything seemed… oh I don't know… god, why did she even tell you? She wasn't supposed to tell you!"

"Dawn," Joyce switches to mom mode, her mom antennae buzzing. "Is there something to what she said? Is something going on between Buffy and Hank?"

"I… I don't know mom, it's just I felt… like an intruder when me and Xander walked in, you know? And Buffy gave me dirty looks all evening. But then, she always gives me dirty looks…" Dawn trails off. She doesn't want to get into this. "That's why I didn't want her to tell you. I knew you'd get all weird about it."

"Dawn, I'm very serious. I have to know. If you think Buffy is doing something wrong with your dad, I really have to know!"

"No… I … I just don't know mom, ok? I just… god, I wish I never told Faith…" Her lips tighten. "See if I ever trust her with a secret again…"

"Dawn this is … you … we can't keep something like this secret. It might hurt Buffy…"

"God, Buffy again. Is she mental, or something? She's almost an adult; can't she start acting like it? She should be able to take care of herself by now…"

"I need to know, Dawn. Was there something…?"

"I told you mom, I don't know, ok?"

Joyce sighs. She knows better than trying to push this. _But, god help us if something is happening to Buffy, and we can't face it!_

"All right, honey. I'll let it go. But if you feel something like that is going on, come to me, ok? We'll work it out together."

"Whatever," Dawn says, sick of this subject. Sick of it all, actually. "It's just as I thought. Buffy had something to do with this… " She starts towards the stairs.

"Dawn, where are you going?"

"To my room, mom. I really need to not be here right now…"

"Dawn, please, let's talk about this. We really need to talk about this …"

"Not now, mom. I mean, you just nuked me, and I need… I just need …"

"What? A personality?"

Joyce and Dawn turn towards the front door. Buffy is standing there, arms loaded with packages.

"Buffy?" Joyce, seeing the packages, groans internally. _Damn! I forgot to call Hank. He must've come by, and Buffy didn't tell him anything, of course!_ "Where have you been?"

Buffy sees the look on her mother's face, and realizes that she's not going to get away with this. _Aw, crap!_

"Out," She mumbles, using the time tested teenage response.

"So I see. And where did you go when you were 'out'?" Joyce asks, with some asperity in her tone.

"Nowhere," Buffy uses another time tested response.

"Nowhere, hmmm?" Joyce walks over, looking at the bags and boxes. "And where did these come from, then? If you went nowhere, that is?"

"Huh?" Buffy looks as if seeing the packages for the first time. "Oh yeah, well, I did a little shopping. Is that a crime now?"

"Somebody's really in trouble…" Dawn pipes up in a sing song voice.

"Shut up, Squirt!"

"Don't call me Squirt…"

"Dawn…" Joyce tries to head off the sibling warfare. "Maybe you should go upstairs, leave me and Buffy alone."

"Yeah, get lost, Squirt."

"Mom!"

"That's enough from you, Buffy Summers," Joyce's tone turns harsh. "And you too, Dawn. Please go upstairs, now."

"Mom, I didn't do anything!" Dawn protests.

"Except be majorly ugly and stupid," Buffy puts in.

"Shut up, Butt hole!" Dawn retorts, "You're so gonna get it!"

"ENOUGH!"

Both girls subside.

"I need to talk to Buffy, alone." Joyce says firmly. "Ok, Dawn?"

Dawn grumbles, and starts upstairs. She stops halfway and turns around. "God, no wonder Faith left. She's sane, and you're both nuts!" She turns and storms off.

"Dawn!" Joyce yells after her, uselessly.

"Faith left?" Buffy looks puzzled. "What's she talking about?"

"Where have you been, Buffy?"

"What does she mean, Faith left?"

"This isn't about Faith. This is about you! You're on restriction, young lady, or did you forget that? I didn't give you permission to go out, as I recall. Especially after that tantrum you threw at breakfast."

"I did some shopping. Geeze it's not a big deal…"

"Where did you get the money? I didn't give you a credit card."

"I used my own money."

"Uh huh," Joyce sounds skeptical. "I know what I give you for allowance. It wouldn't finance this."

"I've been saving up!"

"You were with your father, weren't you?" Joyce cuts right through it.

"What if I was? I have a right to see my father! I'm almost 18, you can't keep him from seeing me!"

"I can if you sneak behind my back to do it, Buffy. You're a minor still, you live under my roof, and I'm responsible for you. While you live here, you'll follow my rules."

"Well, maybe I won't live here, then!"

"And just where do you think you'll live, Miss?"

"Maybe I'll go live with dad!"

Joyce makes a face. "In case you haven't noticed, Buffy, your dad isn't exactly the domestic type. He's real good at playing Santa Claus…" Joyce indicates the packages,"… but when it comes to the real stuff, the life stuff, he's never there. So, not going to happen."

"It so is! I'm going to be with him, whether you like it or not!"

"Really? Well, I have a court order that says differently. I have sole custody, Buffy. You're dad doesn't. Until you're an adult, you live under my roof, and follow my rules."

"I don't _think_ so!"

"Well, think again! Like it or not, this is your home, Buffy, and I won't tolerate this sneaking around anymore. Pull this again, and I'll go to court, revoking any rights your dad has to see you!"

"You're lying! You wouldn't do that!"

"Just try me, young lady!"

Buffy stands there, glaring at her mother. Slowly, her face relaxes, and her mouth sets in a hard smile.

"Fine, whatEVER!" she moves over to the staircase, and turns. "I'll live here. But you know what? I'm glad Faith moved out! She was nothing but a pain in the ass, troublemaking nosey bitch! I hope she …"

SLAP!

Buffy's eyes narrow, and she almost sneers as her cheek reddens from Joyce's slap.

"You think you got all the cards, don't you mom? Well, just remember, things can change, you know." She turns in a huff, and storms upstairs.

"Buffy! You come back here! What's that supposed to mean? Buffy!"

Buffy doesn't stop, turning right when she hits the landing

"BUFFY!"

8

She was on fire!

Sure, she's been drinking… drinking a lot, as a matter of fact. But that doesn't slow her down, or make her sloppy. Not her. The alcohol only added fuel to her fire, and she moves with the speed of a cheetah and the grace of a panther.

Redheads, brunettes, blondes… she doesn't care. She dances with anyone she pleases. After all, she was free now, right? No more worries, no more responsibilities. Just her for her, and she can be with and dance with and whatever with whomever she wants… right?

_Yeah, baby, god I was a total moron! What _was _I thinking? Hooking up with someone with kids and all that crap? And that's what it was, wasn't it? All that crap? Oh, yeah! C'mon, I'm young! I should be out dancing and partying and having a good time. Not fucking around with some woman who's just going to make me crazy. Treat me like I'm a toy, something to play with then put away when the serious stuff happens!_

_Gimme a break, ok? I mean, I'm putting my ass on the line here, and I get nothing! I'm like that old guy. Never get no respect, not for nothing. Well, forget that. Faith is just about having fun from now on. No more worries, no more nothing! Got it? Oh yeah, loud and clear. Five by five, that's what I am, now that I'm outta that mess!_

She keeps dancing, moving through the crowd, looking and doing a little booty hunting. Looking for a tasty morsel to dance with, maybe get a little sweaty with; in short, a willing someone to get her naughty on. She spies a particularly sweet looking thing, dancing facing away from her. _The way she's shakin it, she knows her stuff and wants to use it,_ Faith thinks, licking her lips.

She maneuvers around the other dancers, slithering through the crowd as sinuously as a python stalking its prey. She dances around, fronting her back to the other girl first, showing off her own stuff. She feels alive, she feels free; she an inferno. She knows she's hot, because she can feel the eyes of her target scanning her sweet body.

She turns around, a smirk plastered on her face. It quickly fades to a frown.

It's Tina dancing in front of her, giving her that " I know what you're doing" look she always gives Faith.

"Tina? What the hell? What're you doing here?"

"Doing here? I think I'm dancing here, Faithy," Tina smirks, shaking her hips for all they're worth.

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean, here, here. What're you doing in this club?"

"Are you trippin', Faith?" Tina shakes her head. "Why shouldn't I be here?"

"Uhhh… well, for one thing you're in Boston…"

"Yeah, so?"

"And I'm not…"

"Aren't you? Hmmm… that's odd… well, doesn't matter I guess. I belong here, you know…"

"What?"

"Look around, Faith. Don't ya recognize the faces? These are all girls who's hearts you've mangled…"

Faith looks around, and notes the crowd has thinned … a lot. There are just a few girls standing around, all staring at her. Some she recognizes right away; others seem familiar… but she couldn't name them to save her life.

"What the heck is going on here?"

"That's what I'd like to know…" Tina is still dancing in front of her. "What's the what, anyway? Why're you even here, you know? I mean, what, are you up to your old tricks again?"

"What're you talking about?" Faith asks, glancing away.

"You know very well what I mean…"

_That voice…_

She looks back at Tina. But it's not Tina anymore, it's Joyce. And she's not dancing anymore. She standing there, staring at Faith, arms folded across her chest.

"Isn't this what you always do? Fall for the girl, get close to the girl, but when things get just a little rough, run like a rabbit?"

"What the FUCK?"

Faith snorts, and awakens, zooming up from a prone position. She sits there, feeling foggy and sweaty and clammy at the same time. She looks around, her eyes squinting in the morning sun.

Scattered around the bed in the cheap motel room she's staying is a collection of beer cans. On the dresser is a bottle of Jack Daniels, a good third of it gone.

"Where the fuck am I?" Faith mutters, sweeping a couple of empty cans off the bed.

She can't concentrate very well. Her mind feels fuzzy; her head feels stuffed with cheap cotton. Her mouth feels like a car ran over it a few dozen times. Her temples are throbbing to some long forgotten dance music, and the sun is making her eyes feel like tiny daggers are being stuck in them.

She's in the throes of a major hangover.

Groaning softly, she forces herself out of bed, staggering a little as her uncooperative legs seem to want to collapse beneath her. Bad mistake, as the effects of the seemingly gallons of alcohol she poured down her throat last night haven't worn off yet.

"This is wrong on sooo many levels," She mumbles, holding onto the cheap dresser to keep from keeling over. "for one thing, I don't think the room is supposed to be… oh…GOD!"

The room starts to spin faster, and turning lovely shade of green, she stumbles into the bathroom. The sounds of vomiting can be heard.

"Aw fuck," She groans, staring down at the toilet bowl in front of her. She reaches up and pulls down handle, the smells coming up making her want to upchuck more. She pushes off the toilet and sits back on her butt, trying to remember exactly how she got here.

Last night is pretty much a blur, with lots of spots where she just can't remember anything at all.

She remembers leaving the house on Revello drive, feeling as if her guts were all twisted up. She remembers hitting a couple…_ couple? Must've been every fucking bar in Sunnyhell…_ drinking, sometimes dancing, but mostly drinking. Trying to put out the burning inferno in her heart, the acid pit in her stomach. Nothing seemed to work; the more she drank, the worse it became. _That didn't stop me from drinking, I'm guessing…_ She groans, and suddenly is up at the toilet again, making another sacrifice to the goddess of the toilet bowl.

_What the fuck did I do after that? _She stands up, feeling wobbly and weak, but at least nothing was imitating the merry-go-round at the fair anymore. She staggers out of the bathroom, and seeing the mess on the carpet, groans. _Must've stopped and bought a good supply of booze… shit…_ she stumbles over weakly, and sits on the edge of the bed, hands cradling her throbbing head.

She soon learns there is no rest for the wicked, or the weary. Her cell phone goes off, the ring buzzing madly, causing her head to feel as if two very burly blacksmith's are taking 20 pound sledge hammers to each side of her head.

"CRAP!" She yells, scrambling to grab the phone and end the torture. "What?" She growls in the phone.

"Well, good morning, sunshine. Glad to see you're your usual sweet self in the morning…"

Faith makes a face. _Double crap!_

"Tina?" Faith looks at the phone as if it has grown fangs. "What do you want?"

"Well, I think that's kinda my question, babe. What do you want?"

"HUH?" Faith makes a face. "What're you talking about? I really _don't_ feel up to games this morning…"

"I'm not the one playing games here, Faith," Tina's voice takes on an edge. "I got woken up a couple of times last night, only to have the phone slammed down in my ear. And then, checking my voice mail this morning, I've got a whole bunch of incoherent messages from my favorite drunk, calling me names and yelling at me. So, what's going on, babe?"

"Dunno what you're talkin' about," Faith says thickly. _What the fuck did I do last night? Shit!_

"Gimme a break, wouldya?" Tina sounds a little exasperated. "Ya think I'm making this up, moron? I'm not so anxious to hear your not so charming voice to start making up crap like this. And hey, not so happy about being hauled outta bed after a rather nasty night at the shop. So, stop jerking me around here. What do you want? Except to call me a fucking no good bitch slut whore who can't help a friend in need, oh and to threaten to come over here and beat my ass into the ground, and then ride one's bike into the bay because your whole fucking world's going to hell on you." She chuckles dryly. "If it weren't so pathetically funny, I might be pissed off… well, more pissed off. So what's going on? Trouble in la-la land? The woman get smart and kick your ass to the curb?"

_Fuck, how does she do that?_ "Look, forget it, ok? Sorry about the calls, but it's really nothing, ok?" _I need a drink. Lots of drinks. Yeah, that'll make things better…_

"Hey, Faith, babe…" Tina's voice softens. "We're still buds, ok? I'm just feeling a little grumpy. What's up? Did you and the old broad have a fight?"

"She's not an old broad!"

"Whatever," Tina can't help smiling a little. "Did you guys have fight or something? Did she get smart and kick your lazy ass out?"

"Hey, supposed to be my friend. Why're you figuring I did something? I walked out!"

"Didya now, girl?" Tina's voice takes on the familiar Irish lilt. " So how come you're getting all maudlin and weepy in your messages, sounding like a schoolgirl with a broken heart?"

"Just because I walked, Tina, doesn't mean it didn't hurt…" Faith's tone gets edgy. "Maybe you can break it off without any feeling, but I'm not made that way."

There's a long pause.

"Fuck you, Faith McKerrigan. Don't ever call me again, ok? I really don't need this crap dredged up again and again and again. I never cheated on you, how many fucking times do I gotta tell you that?"

"Funny how you say that, but I got people telling me you were cheating on me from day one…"

"Who told you that crap?"

"Merry for one!"

"You believed that bitch?"

"Only after a whole bunch more told me the same fucking thing, Tina Gallagher! I was just another fucking toy to you, a conquest. You never loved me!"

"You're a bigger fool than I thought you were, Faith. I never loved anyone like I loved you, dummy. I loved you so much, I woulda done anything for you. Don't you get it? Your friends lied to you. They didn't like us being together, they were jealous. I knew that, I tried to tell you that, but you didn't want to believe me. You were so fucked up about being gay, and your parents tossing you out, that you didn't want to believe what we had was right. Really right. So you glommed onto those 'friends' of yours telling crap about me. You didn't even listen to me, you didn't EVEN try to work it out with me. You just walked away from me!"

"God, you're a liar on top of being a cheat! I tried to work it out with you, but you never listened to me! You treated me like a kid…"

"You were acting like a kid…"

"I was not! I was hurt, what did you expect? Roses and kisses?"

"I expected you to listen. That's all, listen. But you don't do that, do you? That's your big problem, Faith. You rush into things, never listening to anything or anyone but yourself. You think you know more than anyone else. And when it blows up on you, you wonder what the hell went wrong. Maybe if you stopped and really tried to listen, to understand what's going on, you wouldn't be alone, hurting. You're kinda pig-headed that way, Faith. No one knows nothing better than you; you're so much smarter than anyone else. Well, baby, no one's that smart."

Faith wants to come back with something clever and smart and cutting. She wants to put Tina in her place, telling her she doesn't know her at all.

Problem is, she might be stubborn, but she's not stupid. She knows the truth when it hits her over the head like a frying pan. _Dumb much, Faith?_

"Where's the snappy comeback, Faith? Don't you want to call me a lying, cheating slut? C'mon, girl, you can do it," Tina's voice is edgy and hurt at the same time. "Why do you even call me, Faith? If you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you, Tina. I never hated you. I was hurt…and I'm beginning to see maybe that was a lot my fault… but I never hated you…" She sighs deeply. "I'm guessing you pretty much hate me, though. With good reason."

"There you go, being stupid again, Faith McKerrigan. I don't hate ya, girl. You're a royal pain in the ass, but I don't hate you." Tina pauses a moment, to collect herself. "So, I'm thinking, not being the stupid one here, that you didn't call me last night just to annoy me, so why did you call me?"

"Maybe I shouldn't be bothering you with this stuff."

"Don't you even try to weasel out of it now, Faith. You don't get me all worked up, just to cut me off at the last second. Now, what's going on?"

"Uhhh… well, Me and Joyce kinda split up…" Faith makes an impatient noise. "No kinda about it. I left her."

"Yeah, you kinda mentioned that."

"I did?" Faith frowns. "Oh, yeah, I did, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did. So, wanna get to the why part? Just so I don't have to ask 20 questions to drag it outta ya?"

"She… she doesn't respect me, Tina. She doesn't listen to anything I got to say. I mean, not really. She acts like I'm some kinda kid. Like I couldn't know anything, you know? It really pisses me off, you know?"

Tina has to bite her lip to keep from laughing. _Do I know? Were you even listening 5 minutes ago?_

"So, got a taste of your own medicine, and not liking it much, are we?"

"I listened…"

"Faith, don't even go there…"

"Ok, ok, maybe I have that coming. But this is serious stuff… and she doesn't want to believe me, because she doesn't want to believe it…"

"What?"

Faith relates to her about her conversation with Dawn, and what it means.

"That's a pretty serious charge you're making there, Faith. You got proof?"

"Well, not like pictures and stuff. But Dawn did say…"

"Honey, you gotta understand. From what you told me, this Hank guy is pretty much a weasel. But suggesting he's molesting his daughter… his own daughter…you've gotta admit, that sounds pretty out there. You can't force someone to believe what they don't want to believe."

"But what about the girl? Buffy? She might still be being used by the guy…"

"If the charge is true. I mean, the sister. Dawn? Maybe she's got a thing against her sister… or her dad… maybe she was jealous because her sister was getting more attention than she was, or something… maybe she just got it wrong…"

"You're beginning to sound a lot like Joyce," Faith's voice gets tense. "This isn't something you lie about…"

"I'm not saying anyone's lying. But you can tell her what you know and think. After that, it's up to her. It's her daughter, Faith."

"But…"

"But nothing, Faith. You've done what you can. I'm not saying give up, but if you force the issue…" Tina sighs. "Look, if you really are convinced something's going on here, call the police. Let them handle it. You can't do anything more."

"I can't do that… and that's the problem. That's the deal. It's her life, and her kids, and I'm being put on the side. I'm not being made part of it; I'm being shut out. See what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do, and I gotta tell you, sweetheart, that you can't expect a whole lot more here."

"Huh?"

"Honey, she's had a whole life before she met you. Some parts of it are not about you. You can't go in and expect to be included in every little thing right away. You've got to give it time, let her adjust to you being a big part of her life. When she's ready, she'll include you."

"When? When I'm 60?"

"Faith…"

"No! I mean, ok, I get she's had a life before me. Maybe you're right in that I can't be expecting to be included in everything right away. But I want to be at least acknowledged as being part of her life now. That's not happening…"

"Faith, what're you talking about?" Tina is confused.

"Tina, she's not even letting us be a couple. Not in public, anyway. Not even in her home. God, I'm having to pretend to be the boarder. I hate this. I feel like…"

"… a whore?" Tina's voice has a sarcastic edge.

"I'm sorry about that, ok? Really… I was totally wrong."

"Forget it, sorry." Tina sighs, moving on. "look, Faith. I understand how you feel, I really do. I've been there, ok? Thing is, I made a total mistake, and maybe if you listen…"

"I'm listening!"

"Ok, ok, just checking. What I'm saying is, maybe I can spare you the same pain, ok?"

"Ok… but how?"

"First of all, do you love her?"

"Well, yeah…"

"I mean it, Faith. Do you really love her? Is this the one you want the long term thing with?"

Faith doesn't even pause a second.

"Yes."

"Then, you've got to back off, Faith."

"Huh?"

"You can't push her, Faith. You have to give her time to come to terms with this. Pretty much, you're her first woman, yes?"

"Yeah, I told you that."

"Exactly. Now think hard. Remember how weird it was for you, first time, when you realized you were attracted to women. Don't play the PC game. It was weird. We're taught it's weird, and it's hard to dump that programming. Ok? Remember?"

"Yeah."

"Well, take that times 10 for her, because she's learning about this kind of late in life, you know? She thought up til she met you, she was straight arrow. She's probably been taught that loving another woman, romantically and all, is very wrong. She's lived her whole life thinking that way, and you want her to just come out and say, 'Ok, I'm gay now'? It doesn't work that way, you know? She has to deal with it, all of it. She has a lot to lose, Faith. A lot. She has to put everything on the line for you, and that's not easy. So, maybe for once, have a little patience, and give her the space to realize this _is_ what she wants."

"This is my life too, Tina. I know what I want. Why can't she just decide what she wants, and stop waffling? Just choose."

"Were you listening? No matter what she chooses, how she works it out, she's got a lot to lose here, kiddo. She chooses you, and she could lose her family, her friends, her business… "

"What?"

"Believe it. You said she's a gallery owner. That's based on reputation, and she's bound to lose some clients once she 'comes out'."

"Aren't I worth it?"

_God, Faith, why do you have to ask me THAT question, you idiot?_

"Would you let me finish, please?" Tina says out loud.

"Sorry."

"Thing is, she comes out, she loses… maybe a little, maybe a lot. She doesn't come out, she loses you. Get the picture here? Either way, she loses. She's got to come to the point where she decides what she's willing to lose." Tina's voice softens. "You know what that can cost, Faith."

Faith is silent. _Just your family and people you thought were friends…_

"Ok, ok, this is the part where you tell me I'm stupid?" Faith says ruefully.

"No, not stupid. You had to make a stand, Faith. Maybe you could've done it better, but you had to tell her you weren't happy with the way things were. Now, you just gotta give her the space to come to the right decision."

"I guess…"

"What?"

"What if she decides that I'm not worth it? What she might lose?"

There's a silence between them.

"Then I guess it's better you know… don't you think?"

Faith, miserable, feeling like crap, can't help the tears that start to stream down her face.

"I guess…" her voice breaks.

Tina feels a sharp pain in her own heart. She wants nothing more than to be with Faith, to hold her and comfort her. To make it better for her.

Tina is still carrying a Faith sized torch around.

"Faith," She says softly, "You can always come home. There're people here who care about you…"

"Sorry, sorry, getting weepy. Must be the booze," Faith's voice hardens up.

"Yeah, the booze," Tina agrees, putting another bandage on her heart. "But I mean it, babe. If this don't work out, come home. You can stay with me until you find your own place."

"Thank, Tina. You're the best."

_If only…_

"Look, babe. Love swapping insults, but I gotta run. Gotta business to take care of, ya know?" Tina becomes all business again.

"Yeah, sure , sorry for the bent ear. So, I'll talk at ya later, ok?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." _I won't be holding my breath, ok?_

"Later girlfriend."

"Yeah, Later."

9

Joyce sits at the dining room table and sighs.

She's going over the household bills for the month; never a pleasant task. Still, at least it served one good purpose. It helped to take her mind off of Faith.

After spending a sleepless night, thinking about the scene in the office, and Faith leaving, Joyce could use a break from those thoughts. Something to take the pain out of knowing that Faith was really gone; maybe this time for good.

Looking down at the bills, she shakes her head. Things are not as rosy as she makes them out to be. Despite the modest success the Gallery is having, things are getting tighter each month. Partly that has to do with having to reinvest a goodly portion of the profits back into the business, to attract more business. But a large part has to do with Hank's contributions to the household expenses. Or increasingly, the lack thereof.

Every month for the last few months, his checks have been getting smaller and smaller._ How the hell does he expect me to raise and clothe the girls on what he gives me? Does he have ANY idea what that costs these days? It hasn't been _that_ long since he was here; he has to know it takes a lot._

Maybe that is why she got so angry at Buffy yesterday. She saw the armload of presents under her arms, and just knows that that money could've been better spent on things around the house. And what about Dawn? What about her 'share', so to speak?

_He's up to something; he's bribing Buffy for some reason… but why? What about his other daughter? Where's Dawn's share? God, just what I need now. Something else to worry about…_

"Mom?"

Joyce, thinking she was alone, looks up, startled. Standing in the doorway is Dawn, looking uncomfortable.

"Dawn, honey? What is it?" Joyce gets up, going over to her daughter. "Are you ok?"

Dawn doesn't meet her mother's gaze, and instead looks away.

"I… uhhh… " She licks her lips nervously. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday, ok? I was … you really surprised me, you know? I didn't know how to handle it…about Faith. And you… and I …" she looks up at her mom, "… you really love her, then? I mean, it's really real?"

Joyce nods. "Yes, honey, It's real. I'm sorry too. I should've handled it better. I should've been honest with you earlier. I was just afraid how you girls would react to it…"

"I guess with good reason, huh?" Dawn smiles ruefully. Then she frowns. "I was just hoping that you and dad would somehow work it out… kinda dumb, huh? I guess I shoulda figured that the divorce thing was kinda final on that…" she shakes her head, and moves over to the table, sitting down. "How can they do that?"

Joyce, not exactly following, goes over and sits across from Dawn.

"Do what? Who?"

"Men. How can they just … cheat like that? I don't get it. I thought you were supposed to love someone forever… I mean, the one you marry, at least, ok? How could he just … cheat on you like that?"

"Dawn… what're you talking about?"

"C'mon, mom. Again, I'm not exactly blind. I mean, when he was at home, and you guys fought… well, you weren't exactly quiet about it. I know dad was playing around. I guess, I just hoped that… I dunno, I guess it was kind of childish. I just wanted my family together. Stupid, huh?"

Joyce is touched. She knows how hard it must be for Dawn to talk about her feelings with her. _Dawn is always so steady and quiet. I forget how much this must be affecting her._

"Honey, it's not stupid. It really isn't," Joyce reaches across, putting her hand on Dawn's. "I really wish, I do, that somehow we could take back the last few years. Maybe we could've worked it out, then. But… your dad and I… have just grown too far apart…"

"Mom, he cheated. He's a bastard. He never should've…"

"Dawn! This is still your father we're talking about. Whatever he did to me, you shouldn't call him a bastard."

"But he _was_, mom! He cheated on you. That's rotten. He's rotten for doing it!"

"Dawn, you're father isn't really an evil man. I think… no, I know, he's just weak. He's like a child some ways. He can't control himself." _Why am I defending him? She's right, he _IS _a bastard! And he's her father, too._ "Look, Dawn, honey. Just because he doesn't love me anymore, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, sure…" Dawn doesn't sound so sure.

"Dawn…"

"No, mom, I'm sorry. He didn't just cheat on you. He cheated on us, too. Even if Buffy is too… " Dawn makes a rude noise. "… blind to see it. He didn't care so much what we'd feel when we found out, did he?" She frowns in disgust. "Men are all alike. They pretend to love you, care about you, but in the end… someone else comes along, and hey, they forget all about you! Who needs them, anyway? They're all dogs!"

Joyce cocks her head, and fights desperately to hide a smile._ Uh, oh, sounds like this is about more than her dad._

"Honey, not all men are like your dad. Most are faithful and loving, you know." She scrutinizes Dawn's reaction. "Is everything all right, Dawn?"

Dawn almost immediately realizes she let too much out of the bag. "Huh? Yeah, everything's fine, mom." _Except that Xander's a lying, cheating bastard. But he's a guy, right?_ "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing. Just wondering," Joyce smiles. _Don't push it Joyce. She'll talk about it when she's ready._ "How's Xander these days?"

"Fine, he's fine," Dawn answers a shade too quickly.

"Ok, honey," Joyce pats her hand. "But, try not to be too harsh on your dad. He really does love you."

"Ok, mom," Dawn stands up. She suddenly wants to be gone. Before her mom figures out that maybe she's not being exactly honest with her about Xander. "I guess I'll go upstairs, do some studying. We have a test in math tomorrow."

"Ok, honey," Joyce smiles. _God, why can't Buffy be more like her? I have to practically lock her in her room to get her to study._ "Is Buffy upstairs?" She's almost afraid to ask.

"Yeah, she's locked in her room. I heard her stereo. I think she's ignoring both of us. Like, I'm heartbroken over it."

"Dawn…" Joyce gets that tone in her voice.

"Chill, mom. I'm not being nasty. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with her right now…" She frowns. "I miss her."

"Buffy?"

"No, god no! I miss Faith."

Joyce can't help the bleak look on her face. "I do too, honey."

"What about her mom? Are you going to try to make it up with her?"

_God, if I only could. _

"Dawn, I don't even know if she wants to. She's pretty upset with me. And I guess, I can't blame her. I'm beginning to realize I didn't treat her very well."

"But, you're going to try, aren't you?" Dawn leans on the table. "You're not going to just give up, are you?"

"No, honey. Of course not. But I might have to give her some time."

"Please, mom, I know I was pretty negative yesterday about you and Faith. But I've thought about it, and if she makes you happy… well, I won't be marching in any Gay Pride parades, but I do want you to be happy, mom. And, well… we need her here. Things seem better when she's here, you know?"

"I know, sweetie, believe me, I want her here, too," Joyce says quietly. "But for now, I have to give her some space. I think she needs that." _And I need to figure a way to approach her without making it worse._

"Ok, mom," Dawn looks a little lost. "I guess I better go study for that test tomorrow…" She turns, starting to walk away. She stops at the doorway, hesitating.

Joyce looks down at the bills, and sighs. The way she feels right now, the last thing she wants to do are the bills. She looks up, realizing she hasn't heard Dawn go upstairs. She sees her daughter still standing in the doorway.

"Dawn, was there something else?"

Dawn hesitates another few beats, then turns around.

"Mom, can I talk to you?"

Joyce smiles, and waves at the chair.

10

Xander Harris trudges along towards Sunnydale High Monday morning, his shoulders slumped, looking puzzled.

At his side is Willow, strategically silent. Like her friend, she seems distracted.

"I don't get it," Xander complains, as they turn the corner on Jefferson. "I really thought she liked me."

"Maybe something came up, Xander. It's not like her to just break a date. Ok, I haven't dated her…" She sees Xander's look, and puts up her hand. "Honest, nothing there, Xander. Promise! But I kind of know Dawnie, and she's not flighty or mean or anything…" She touches his arm. "Did you try to call her?"

"I was supposed to call her?"

"Xander!"

"I guess that 80 or 90 times I dialed her number and got no answer but her voice mail doesn't count?" Xander looks at Willow out of the corner of his eye.

"Sarcasm? Not pretty on you, Xan," Willow chides him. "Voice mail? So, she didn't answer?"

"Uh, no. And I don't get it. Sure, I can see maybe missing a few of the calls, but I left so many messages I think I filled up her voice mail. All I know is, I got the "Sorry, the subscriber's voice mailbox is full. Please try back at a later time."

Willow makes a face. "Ah, Xander. That sounds bad. Like, she doesn't want to talk to you…"

"Yeah, that's kind of what I've been saying. I just would like to know, why?"

"Well, what did you do?" Willow stops him, before they reach the gates. "C'mon, spill it."

"Excuse me? What did _I_ do? Exactly what's that supposed to mean? Why do you figure I did anything?"

"You're a guy, Xander. Of course you did something," Willow says simply.

"Again, I say 'Excuse me'?"

"Xander, haven't you been paying attention? I've been trying to help you be a better guy here by understanding women better. Am I wasting my time?"

"I'm trying to understand, but you're not making it easy. Stop with the cryptic."

Willow sighs. "You're a guy, right?"

"Well, yeah…"

"Ok, well, simply put, whenever there's a disagreement between a guy and a girl, the guy is wrong."

"Huh?" Xander stands there, blinking, mouth open.

"Xander, you look so much better with that closed."

Xander snaps his mouth closed.

"Ok, now you're just … wait, how's that possible? The guy is always wrong?"

"Are you disputing my word, Xander?"

"No…" He's doesn't sound sure, "wait a minute. The guy's _always_ wrong? Even if he's right, he's wrong?"

"Very good, Xan. You're learning."

"Hold on, I'm thinking here…" Xander starts to pace. He looks at Willow, then turns away, pacing some more. He comes back. He opens his mouth. He closes his mouth. He goes away and paces some more. He finally comes back, standing in front of Willow. "Ok, Will. You know I trust you. You're my spy on the XX side. But I just don't see the logic here. Where's the fairness? I went to the Espresso pump, showed up as agreed, on time, and waited. And waited. And waited. And she stood me up. And I'm wrong? Where's the logic in that?"

"Xander, if you're going to go all testosterone on me, I really have better things to do, you know…"

Willow starts towards the gates, leaving Xander behind.

"No, wait, no. Willow, wait!" Xander rushes after her, getting in front of her and blocking her way. "I'm sorry, I'm very sorry. Honestly. I bow to your superior knowledge of all things female…"

"Female?" Willow arches a brow.

"All things, period! Please, help me. Please, please, please? I'll be your bestest friend…?" He smiles charmingly.

_God, what a con artist._

"I dunno. You already are my best friend. What else you got?"

"Ummm… Mochas? Creamy mochas, lots of sugary goodness…" Xander waggles a brow.

"Oh, please! Xander, I have your entire love life in my hands, and you think I can be bought for mochas? Are you nuts? What else?"

Xander is beginning to look panicked. He starts digging through his pockets.

"Uhhh… I've got … let's see… here's a dollar… and here's another… and…" he pulls out his wallet. "I've got a couple of bucks in here… and my driver's license, and…"

"Ok, now that's just rude. Money? You think I want money?" Willow sighs, and starts up the stairs. "I see my time is wasted here…"

"What? Will, please! I'm desperate here. Anything, name it!"

Willow stops, a tiny smile on her face. _Oh, god I'm being such a bitch. And damn, I'm loving it. _"Anything?"

"Anything. I promise, if I can get it, it's yours!"

"Well, seeing how you're my boy, and I love you dearly, we'll just keep the favor on the backburner for now. But if I name it, you gotta provide, ok?"

"Absolutely! Positively!" Xander, relieved, goes to Willow on the steps, and throws his arms around her legs. "You're my goddess, you know that?"

Willow, almost laughing, felling a sense of unbalance happening, extracts herself from Xander's worshipful embrace. "Ok, now this is totally embarrassing Xander," She says, laughing merrily. "Stand up and stop being a dope!"

Xander is quickly on his feet. Even so, his enthusiasm is overflowing, and he grabs her, kissing her chastely on the cheek.

"Ok, enough with the sloppy kisses and obeisance, please. I'll help you!"

"Thank you, thank you!"

"Now, I need you to think…"

"Hey, you never said thinking was involved!"

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Thinking, I'm thinking…" Xander looks so serious, with the furrowed brow and grim visage, that it almost starts another giggle storm out of Willow. "What am I thinking about?"

"I need you to think back to Saturday, when you were supposed to meet her. What went on, since the time you arrived?"

"Well, gee… I got there a little early, because I wanted to like buy the mochas without her seeing how tapped I was…"

"Xander, do you think Dawn really cares if you're kinda on the poor side…"

"Do I want to advertise the fact? No, not really, thank you… anyway… I got there, and I was just going to the bar to buy the mocha's when Janice Peters walked up. We got to talking, and well, she was being friendlier than usual… you know how she can be… and anyway, she wanted me to join the debate team…"

"Wait a minute. You, on the debate team?" Willow shakes her head. "In what bizzaro universe would that happen?"

"I know, it was weird, you know? But she was being so nice, I hated to go back to the other way, so I just kind of zoned out… and then, I kinda refused, you know? I mean, c'mon, me? On the geeks speak squad? Don't think so! So, she shrugged, and said ok, and left…" Xander frowns. "Something weird, though… now that I think about it."

"Weird?"

"Well, she was sometimes looking over my shoulder, and smiling … as if she saw something funny behind me…"

"Behind you?" Willow's lips tighten, just a little. "Did you happen to look behind you?"

"No…why?"

"Think, Xander. You're waiting for Dawn. She doesn't show. Janice does show, and starts flirting with you. All the time, she's looking over your shoulder, and making little faces. Dawn never shows up, won't take your calls…"

Xander stands looking confused.

"Xander, Xander, Xander. What _am_ I going to do with you?" Willow sighs, shaking her head. "It's pretty obvious. Dawn showed up, saw you chatting up Janice, and thinks…"

"No way! Janice Peters? You're joking, right? NO WAY! That would be almost as bad as… " Xander shudders. "… Cordelia Chase!"

"Let's not bring her into this, shall we?" Willow snaps. "What're you going to do about it?"

"Do? Why should I _do_ anything? I'll just explain to Dawn she made a mistake…"

"Ahem. What is the guy, Xander?"

"Huh?"

"Xander… the guy is…"

Xander sighs. "… always wrong. Right. I remember now."

Willow smiles. "See, I knew there was hope for you yet." She smiles, putting her hand on his arm. "Now, what're you gonna do to make it up to her?"

He shrugs, looking sheepish. "I dunno. I suppose it involves a lot of groveling?"

"Oh, I'd say at least 2 weeks…"

"Hey, guys!"

Xander and Willow turn around to see Dawn running up towards them.

Willow smiles and backs off, figuring these two need some alone time.

"I'll see you in class, Xander," She turns to leave.

"Where you going?" Dawn asks, pulling up to the two of them.

"To class. I figured you and Xander had something to work out?"

"Oh… you mean about Saturday?" Dawn blushes, looking embarrassed. "Yeah, sorry about that. I actually did show up, Xander. But I saw you talking to Janice, and well, I got it all wrong and got jealous and slunk away. I should've come up and asked you what was going on, but I kinda messed up there… forgive me?"

" What? How?" Xander looks stunned, and very confused.

Willow looks stunned, herself.

"I… I thought you'd be mad at Xander?" Is all she manages to get out.

"Oh, I was. I was burning. I was going to make a voodoo doll with Xander's name on it. Maybe stick pins in it, drown it, set it on fire…"

"Why didn't you?" Willow asks, totally confused.

"Yeah… how come your not mad at me now?"

"Well, I kinda talked to my mom about it. She kind of set me straight. She explained that sometimes some people who will remain nameless but their name rhymes with Ranice might be setting me up, trying to make me jealous so I'd break up with Xander so she could have him. And that Xander was probably just being nice to her, and didn't even think about anyone but me, see?"

_Way to go, Mrs. Summers!_ Xander gloats. He turns to Willow, cocks his head and arches his brow.

Willow for her part shrugs, and looks embarrassed.

"Well, some people are obviously smarter and more mature than other people," Xander says. He offers his arm to Dawn. " Can I walk you to class?"

"Well, you better!" Dawn says, reaching up and giving Xander a peck on his lips. "Oh, and if I ever see you talking to Janice Peters again…"

"No, no! Not gonna happen, not me!" Xander says.

"Good." She turns to Willow, and smiles. "See you at lunch?"

"Uh huh," Willow is still shocked. _It's not supposed to happen that way!_

"Yeah, Will," Xander's tone is just this side of smart ass. "See ya in class." Smirking, he walks away with Dawn.

"If I see that Janice Peters around, I'm so gonna scratch out her eyes…the bitch…" Dawn says, as she and Xander recede down the hall.

Willow watches them go, shaking her head.

"Well, that was… UMMMPPPPHHH!"

Someone, someone strong, grabs her from behind and drags her into the girl's bathroom.

"MMPPH! LLMMMPH MMM GUUU NWWW R MMM GNN SKRMMM". Willow struggles against her captor, trying to get free. She's turned around, and pushed up against a wall by a taller, heavier brunette.

"Cordelia!" Willow gets out, her mouth finally freed of its gag. "What're you … Mmmmmmm"

This time she's silenced by Cordelia's soft, rich lips. Somehow, this gagging is so much more pleasant. She struggles a little, just for show, then gives in as Cordelia slips her the tongue. She feels the full weight of Cordelia's body as it presses her tightly against the wall.

She starts to melt into the passion of the kiss, when her pesky brain kicks in.

_Wait a minute! WAIT ONE DOGGONE SECOND HERE! I'm MAD at her!_

She struggles against Cordelia, and manages to finally push her away.

"What'd you do that for?" Cordelia complains, looking upset. "Didn't you like the kiss? It felt like you liked the kiss."

"That's besides the point!" Willow says, moving away from the wall so she's not trapped again. "I'm mad at you, remember?"

"Yeah, I know," Cordelia pouts, prettily. "It's totally unfair of you, you know."

Willow stares at her, agog. "You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not kidding."

"You're a real piece of work, Cordelia Chase. After what you did to Buffy and Faith? I'm supposed to be all lovey dovey happy with you? Well, if that's what you think, you gotta another think coming. Seeya…"

Willow turns, starting to walk out of the girls room when Cordelia grabs her arm.

"Let go of me, Cordelia, or I'll scream…"

"Would you stop?" Cordy pulls her around, facing her. "If you'd let me talk, rather than just figuring you know everything about everything…"

"I don't," Willow protests. _Especially after what happened in the hallway just a minute ago…_ " but I do know a lot about you, don't I?" She shakes off Cordelia's hand. "Now, if you'll let me go…"

"Fine, go!" Cordelia folds her arms across her chest. "you know everything. Well, know this. On Saturday, I went to my dad, and I took blame for the whole college party thing. It took awhile to convince him, and I'm like grounded til I'm thirty, but he promised he'd meet with the board of regents and get the whole Faith being expelled thing taken care of. So, you happy now? I'm in major trouble here, and your little friends are all fine now."

"What about those creeps at Alpha Mu?"

"I dunno…I guess they'll probably get their charter revoked. I know I told my dad they're involved, and he was furious… so, I think they'll be paying too. Of course, when this gets out, I'll be persona non grata with them too. And you can pretty much bet it'll be a looong time before I go to anymore parties." She sighs. "Maybe that isn't enough, though. Maybe you'd like a whip, too?"

"How do I know you really did this?" Willow is somewhat skeptical. "Wouldn't be the first time you lied to me."

"Ok, fine, I'll call my dad. You can talk to him, ok?" Cordelia reaches in her purse, and pulls out her cell phone. She starts to open it, but a hand reaches over, closing over her hand. "Fine, whatEVER. You call him. He's #1 on the speed dial…."

"No. Just shut up, stupid," Willow says, as she pushes Cordelia against the bathroom stall, and engages her in a major lip lock.

Things start to heat up as hands start to wander over bodies.

"So," Cordelia pants, when the kiss breaks. "You believe me then?"

"Shouldn't I?" Willow asks, as she leans in and starts nibbling on Cordelia's ear.

"Huh? Oh yeah, you should… oh yeah… do that… again please…" She sighs as tingles rush through her body.

Willow obliges, and then Cordelia's hand slips under her blouse, and another major passion pit kiss occurs. Both women are breathing very hard when the kiss breaks.

"We… should stop now. We gotta get to class… I do, anyway…" Willow says, not moving an inch.

"Yeah, I know. So gotta go to class. Ummm…" She leans in for another kiss.

"No, we better go, before we're late," Willow almost groans, so wanting to devour those soft, luscious lips.

Each straightens up a little , fixing clothes that got mangled and pulled out of their normal places. Cordelia goes and splashes some cool water on her face.

"So, when can we get together?" Cordelia looks at Willow, with major lustiness.

"Uhhh… busy after school?" The look is reflected in Willow's face.

"Cheer practice."

"Damn."

"But I'm free after 5… oh damn, I can't. School, cheer practice and home. That's all. I can't go anywhere else," Cordelia sighs heavily.

"Ummm… think I could come over?" Willow's nostrils are flared out, catching every bit of Cordelia's scent.

"Maybe… I could use a little tutoring…" Cordelia giggles.

"Yeah… you're falling behind again, right?" Willow pants.

"Uh-huh… sevenish? I'll fix it with my dad… somehow…"

"I'll be there, with bells on…"

"Those won't last long…"

"You're kinda horrible, you know that?" Willow says, opening the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I do. That's kinda why you love me…" Cordelia follows her out.

"Don't get a swelled head…" Willow counters, as the door swings shut.

A few moments later, a stall door opens up. Buffy's head appears, followed quickly by the rest of her. She walks over to the sink, and washes her hands.

_Hmmm… now wasn't that interesting?_ She muses, looking at herself in the mirror. I w_onder what that was all about?_

Finishing up, she dries her hands and exits the lavatory.

11

Buffy sits at the back of the class, really not paying attention to the teacher.

That's nothing new; school isn't a big plus on her happy parade. But she has to be here, so she comes. And sits in the back. And stares out the window.

Her mind is on this weekend, and all that happened.

Seeing her dad again had been great. It was nice to be with him; she'd missed him a lot.

Being with him again made her feel wanted; needed. She needed to feel that, to feel part of something. Not on the outside. Not alone.

The good came with a price, however. He wanted her, not just for company. He wanted her all the way, and that was a price she was willing to pay, as long as he tuned into her . The only time she was sure, dead sure that she was the focus of his attention was when she held him inside her. She knew she had the power then, and she needed that. He could have her power. She was addicted to the attention it gave her.

That wasn't the only price. What he wanted her to do made her feel squicky inside. She didn't want to be the fly on the wall, the spy. But to get what she wanted from him, she had to do this.

A part of her, a large part of her hated this. Hated the contention and stress and the fighting that went on all the time at home. She didn't want to be a bad; but otherwise, they ignored her. Never saw her. When she was good, they ignored her. So, craving attention, and affection, she was bad. Not so bad as to be sent away, but bad enough to focus their attention on her.

Where she wanted it, where she _needed_ it.

_Why can't they just see me without all the drama? Why do they make me be this way? I hate being this way. But I don't get a choice. They want something, all of them. They want something to look at me, see me, be with me. All of them._

Faith leaving had rocked her. _She's NOT supposed to leave! She wasn't supposed to just walk away! But what did I expect, huh? She's like the rest of them. Always going away, always leaving me alone._

Alone. She hated Alone. She feared alone.

When she was alone, that was when she had to face herself. Think about herself. Realize the truth about herself.

She was nothing. She never had been anything, and now she was even less than before. Inside she felt empty, and alone, and cold. A big gaping hole filled with no light, no hope; nothing.

Her Dad was something. Her mom was something. _Even the brat is something. Not me. I'm nothing._

So every day was a struggle, a fight. A choice to pretend to be something, to mean something. Otherwise, if she was just herself, if she let her guard down, let them see the real her…

Buffy shuddered, as if struck by a cold wind.

Nothing. They would see nothing. And they would go away, and leave her alone.

Alone, all alone.

Always alone.

12

"Ok, Will, spill it."

"Spill what?"

Xander and Willow are sitting at lunch, waiting to be joined by the sisters Summers. Both have already raided their lunches; Willow is munching on an apple while Xander consumes some cookies.

"You know what I mean," Xander says, brushing crumbs off his face. "Give it up."

"I really don't know what you're talking about, Xander," Willow takes another bite of apple, chewing contentedly.

"Who's the mystery woman?"

"Who?" Willow gives Xander a 'you're not making sense' look. "What're you babbling about now?"

"The mystery woman. The woman you've been dating. C'mon, Will. I'm your bestest bud, and you so haven't told me who she is. It's not fair. I told you who I'm dating…"

"Oh, yeah, that was such a secret," Willow gives him a smirk. "Two seconds after you met her, you were drooling over Dawnie."

"Well, ok, so I wasn't exactly subtle about it. But still, I want to know who's won my Willow's heart. I mean, she obviously loves giving you the expensive gifts."

Xander looks at the necklace around Willow's neck. It's a gold chain, with a gold and platinum rose on the end, a diamond mounted at the center of the rose. Willow, noticing his gaze, blushes.

"Oh, it's nothing, really. She said it wasn't a real diamond…"

"Uh-huh… just like those studs in your ears aren't real diamonds, either? And that blouse… I've never seen it before…" he touches the sleeve, feeling the fabric. "Is this silk?"

"You wouldn't know silk from polyester, Xander Harris. Anyway, what does it matter? It's really none of your business…"

"Why the cryptic, Will? Why won't you tell me who it is?"

"Look, Xander. She's kind of … well, she's not really 'out', and she doesn't want everyone to know about us… you know? She asked me to keep it on the QT…" Willow looks up and away, behind Xander.

"I'm not everyone, Will! I'm Xander, your bestest friend in the world. You know I won't blab it… if you tell me not to. So, why the cloak and dagger?" He notices Willow isn't looking at him, but rather behind him. "What?"

"Something's going on in the quad." Willow stands up. "There's a crowd forming…"

"Huh?" He stands up next to her. "What's going on?"

"I dunno…" Willow starts towards the crowd, when both hear shouts and screams.

"Sounds like a fight…" Xander starts rushing towards it.

"Wait… Xander… shouldn't we get a teacher or something…?"

"What for? So they can stop it? C'mon!" He reaches back, and grabbing her arm, starts to pull her along.

"Xander! Stop! Someone could get hurt. We should…" She pulls away from him.

"Will, don't be a stick. C'mon, let's at least see who's fighting…" He pushes through the crowd. Willow sighs, and follows after him. _God, doesn't he ever think? He could get hurt!_

The pair push through the crowd, and as they get closer, they can tell by the voices it's two girls squaring off.

"Chick fight!" Xander grins, a little lasciviously.

"Xander, you're such a pig!" Willow frowns. "I'm going to get a …"

"You stupid bitch!" The voice carries over the crowd. "I didn't do ANYTHING to her! God, grow up, would you?"

"Whoa… Willow… isn't that…?"

"Buffy!" Willow confirms. "Who's she fighting with?"

"I dunno…"

"You SO did! She saved your butt from getting busted at that party, and you've done NOTHING but give her grief since! She lost her job because of YOU!"

Xander and Willow look at each other, wide eyed.

"Dawn!" They say, almost simultaneously.

"Oh geeze, we gotta get in there!" Xander says, pushing through the crowd. "We gotta stop them before…"

"I'm sick of your whining, Squirt! Why don't you go away and get a life!"

"QUIT CALLING ME SQUIRT, SHORTY!"

Willow and Xander break through the crowd just in time to see Dawn and Buffy circling around.

"Don't call me shorty, dumb ass. I can't help it if you can't control your bladder!"

"Oh, you lousy BITCH! I'm so gonna…" Dawn starts at Buffy, only to be stopped by Xander. "Xander! Get outta my way!" She pushes at Xander, but he doesn't move.

"Yeah, Xander. Let her go. I'd love to pound her into the ground!" Buffy starts towards Dawn, only to be diverted by Willow.

"Hold on, Buffy. Chill out!" Willow blocks her way to Dawn.

"Get outta my way, Willow. I'm warning you!" Buffy pushes Willow backwards.

"Leave her alone, Buffy!" Dawn yells from behind Xander. "Haven't you hurt enough people?" She ducks around Xander, and before he can stop her, she reaches Buffy, slapping her hard.

"Xander! Grab Dawn! Get her outta here!" Willow, recovering, goes to block Buffy before she can retaliate.

"You little miserable …" Buffy grabs Dawn's long hair, pulling on it hard. "I'm so gonna make you sorry you were ever born!"

"LET GO OF MY HAIR!" Dawn screams, grabbing Buffy's hair and yanking on it.

"OWWW! You LET GO!" Buffy kicks at her, missing.

Dawn kicks back, connecting with Buffy's shin.

"OWWW… THAT REALLY HURT!" Buffy yells, grabbing her shin. She makes a grunting noise, then rams her head into Dawn's stomach.

"OOOOOOFFF!" Dawn, wind knocked out of her, falls backwards, almost tripping into Xander. Xander pushes her back, and blocks Buffy's way.

"Knock it off, Buffy." Xander puts a hand on Buffy's forehead, holding her back.

Buffy tries to push against Xander's hand, but can't. She swings out wildly, trying to hit him.

"Let me GO, Xander Harris! Let me go or so help me I'm gonna hurt you!"

In the meantime, Willow has come over, and grabbing Dawn, gets her out of the way.

"Dawn, chill out! Do you want to … UUMMMPPHHH!"

Buffy, who's managed to get under Xander's hand, rushes over and knocks Willow in the back. Not expecting it, Willow is knocked off her feet.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Willow didn't do anything to you!" Dawn goes over, to help Willow to her feet.

She never makes it, because Buffy leaps on her, knocking her onto her back.

"You take it back, Dawn Summers! Take it back now, or I swear I'm gonna…"

A loud whistle blows, interrupting her.

Snyder, flanked by two security guards, has arrived.

"You'll get up off that girl right now, and stop this!" Snyder barks, blowing the whistle again.

Buffy ignores him, slapping her sister across the face. Dawn grabs Buffy's hair, and starts pulling on it.

"STOP THEM!" Snyder yells at the two guards.

One of the guards goes over, and grabbing Buffy, lifts her bodily off of Dawn. He struggles with the girl, who's determined to wriggle out of his grasp.

Dawn is up, and starts after them when the other guard grabs her. She squeals, and kicks back at him, hitting him in the shin. The guard, startled, releases his grip on her.

Dawn starts across towards Buffy, but Xander blocks her way. She tries to duck around him, but he moves with her, not letting her get away.

"Dawn, calm down! Let it go…" Xander tries to hold her.

"She started it! I was walking along to meet you when she starts in on me about some stupid thing! God, I hate her!" She tries to duck around Xander again.

"You've got more than Buffy to worry about right now," Xander says, looking over her shoulder.

Dawn turns around to see Snyder glaring at her. She kinda crumples.

"Oh man, when did he show up?"

"Oh… in time to see you two going at it." Xander frowns. He looks over towards Willow. "C'mon, we better help out Will."

They start to make their way over to her.

Willow, back on her feet, goes over to where Buffy is being held.

"What the hell is your trauma, Buffy? Why'd you hit me?"

"No one asked you to get in the way!" Buffy glares at her.

"Geeze, I was just trying to keep you from killing each other…"

"Why don't you mind your own business? No one asked for your help!"

"God, don't snap at me, Buffy Summers! Believe me, it won't happen again!" She turns away, muttering under her breath.

"What?" Buffy grumbles. "Speak up! Can't hear you!"

"Nothing. Wasn't talking to you…" Willow starts to walk away.

"What's wrong, Will? You don't usually got a problem butting in. Why back off now?"

Willow stops. Her lips tighten, and her eyes narrow.

Xander, coming up by her now, puts an arm on her shoulder.

"Just let it go, Willow. Let's just get out of here."

"Yeah, don't listen to her," Dawn agrees, "ignore her. She's only good at being a bitch anyway."

"Yeah, Willow. Listen to the losers. They'll steer ya right," Buffy calls out to her. "Hey, if you're really pissed at me, maybe you can get your girlfriend Cordelia to kick me off the squad!"

All three freeze in place this time.

Xander looks at Willow. Dawn looks at Willow. Willow goes a little pale.

"What the hell are you talking about, Buffy? Are you on drugs? I can't stand Cordelia Chase."

"Oh, really? That's not what it sounded like in the bathroom this morning…"

"Willow… what's she talking about?" Xander looks at Willow, suspiciously.

Dawn looks like she's swallowed something nasty.

"You and …the bitch from hell?" Dawn looks at her, disgusted. "She's lying, isn't she? Tell me she's lying!"

"You two sounded pretty cozy this morning… all panting and kissing and all…"

"Buffy, you're nuts… I wasn't…"

"Gimme a break, Willow. I was in the stalls. I heard the whole thing."

Willow looks mortified. She can't even look at Xander and Dawn.

Snyder, finished with the crowd, which he's broken up, comes over to the group.

"You two…" he glares at Buffy and Dawn. "In my office, now."

He turns away, starting towards the school buildings.

The two security guards take Buffy and Dawn in tow, leading them towards the principal's office.

That leaves Xander and Willow. An uncomfortable silence falls between them.

_Oh god… oh, god, oh god, oh GOD!_

"Look, Xander…" Willow starts, but Xander cuts her off.

"She's lying, isn't she Willow? Tell me she's lying, ok?"

Willow falls silent. She has nothing to say.

Xander shakes his head, as if he can't believe what he's thinking.

"Willow, please, this is some kind of sick joke. Tell me it's a joke… or something. Please, Will. I can't believe you'd be with her…again."

Willow turns to him, a slightly desperate look on her face.

"Xander… it's not that easy. I … I thought I was over her… but I love…"

"Don't!" Xander cuts her off, again. "Don't say that. God, Will. How can you? After what she did to you? How can you…." He shakes his head. "God, Willow, I held you in my arms how many times, you were so broken up? I thought you'd never stop crying over her. And now you…" He shakes his head. He turns, and starts to walk away.

Willow follows after him, grabbing him by the arm.

"Xander, please, try to understand…"

Xander stops, and he looks at Willow. His face looks sad.

"I don't know if I can, Willow. After what you told me she did to you, after all you went through… I swore I'd never forgive anyone that hurt you like that. And now, you're with her again… I need to think about this, Willow."

Shaking off her arm, he turns and quickly walks away.

Willow stands there, watching him go. She wraps her arms around herself, as if she feels chilled. Her heart feels as if it's made of ice. She feels as if she can't catch her breath.

"Xander" She whispers softly to herself. "I'm sorry."

Biting her lip to keep the hot tears back, she slouches towards the school.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: see previous chapters

Change of Seasons, part 18

1

"Missed a spot," Buffy says, handing the dish back to Dawn.

It's been three days since Buffy and Dawn were suspended from school. They're in the kitchen, washing the dinner dishes. Because of the forced 'togetherness' of the last three days, nerves are a bit on edge.

"What?" Dawn looks at the plate Buffy handed back to her. "Where?"

"Right there, Helen Keller. If it were much bigger, you could use it as a parking spot…"

"That?" Dawn points out a tiny spot on the plate. "Geeze, anal much?" She quickly wipes off the offending spot.

"Don't really feel like having mom come in, look at the dishes and redo them. Already spent WAY too much time WAY too close to you."

"Trust me, Buffy. Being with you isn't exactly my idea of a good time, either."

"It's worlds better than being with you," Buffy complains, while drying a dish and putting it away. "watching paint peel is more fun than being with you."

"Believe me when I say, I want to be as far away from you as you wanna be from me. Maybe if you shut up, it'd go faster…"

"Maybe if you didn't move like a turtle, it'd go faster too. Hurry up!"

Buffy grabs the plate from Dawn's hands; she rinses it and starts to dry it.

"Hey, wasn't finished like that. I like them clean, unlike you. Gimme that back."

Dawn grabs the plate from Buffy's hands. Her hands being wet with soapy water doesn't improve her grip, and the plate slips out of her grip, and falls.

Be careful, dope!" Buffy looks at the shattered plate. "Now look what you did. There's a plate we'll never use again."

"Hey, not my fault! If you hadn't grabbed it away before I was done with it…"

"I'd like to get out of here before I'm ready to go to college, Dawn. God, you move slow…"

"That's not likely," Dawn says, bending over to pick up the pieces.

"What?" Buffy asks, confused by Dawn's leap of subject.

"You… going to college."

Bent over, her butt provides Buffy with the perfect target. Buffy takes her foot, and placing it on Dawn's derriere, shoves her.

"HEY!"

Dawn goes flying, her progress halted by the back door. She rises up, and turns on Buffy, face red.

"Oh, I'm _sooo_ sick of you, Buffy," Dawn growls, rushing Buffy and shoving her against the refrigerator. The cup Buffy was drying goes flying, smashing against the door leading to the dining room. "I should so punch your lights out…" Dawn raises her fist.

"Try it, squirt," Buffy knees Dawn in the stomach. "You moron. You can't even fight right." Buffy starts towards her. "C'mon, Dawn, do it. Try to punch me!"

Dawn raises her fists, and at that moment the door to the dining room slams open.

"What's going on in here!"

Both girls freeze as Joyce, framed by the doorway, stares at them. Her face is grim, and her hands are on her hips.

"She started it!"

"I so did not, you little weasel!"

"I was washing the dishes and she starts grabbing the dishes out of my hands, saying I wasn't fast enough…."

"You're such a liar, Dawn…"

"Enough, both of you!" Joyce's voice cuts them off like a knife. "I asked you to do one simple thing, and you can't even do that! How hard _is it_ to wash some dishes, anyway? I mean, without tearing each other's hair out?" She looks around, seeing the broken dishes. "You're both hopeless…" She shakes her head.

"But, mom, she…"

"Mom, I swear, she…"

"Be QUIET! BOTH OF YOU!" Joyce snaps, yelling at them.

The girls immediately subside, standing around looking sullen; glaring at each other.

Joyce looks at the mess in the kitchen, and sighs. "Just go, both of you…"

"But mom, we haven't…"

"I'll finish up here," Joyce says, her voice hardening. "Just go. Go to your rooms. Try NOT to argue on the way, ok? I might like at least half an hour of quiet… "

"Mom, we're sorry… we'll…"

"Just go, please? I can't take any more!"

"Good job, Dawn. Real nice, get mom mad at us again…"

"ME? What about you? I'm tired of your 'tude, sister dumbest. Why don't you…"

"STOP IT!" Joyce screams, the last thread of her patience snapping.

Dawn and Buffy look at her, wide eyed and a little scared. No matter how angry, their mom has never screamed at them before.

"Mom?" Dawn sounds a little frightened.

"Mom, what…?" Buffy also sounds somewhat scared.

"What is wrong with you two? I didn't raise you like this! Fighting like a couple of alley cats… over what? You're acting like 6 year olds. Both of you. Fighting in school… do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me? How I felt when I was dragged down there to retrieve you two from the office, because you couldn't act like adults? You're both nearly grown, and you're acting like children. How do you think that makes me look? How do you think that makes me feel?"

Buffy and Dawn just stand still, frozen; they're barely even breathing.

"Do you think it's easy? Every day I wake up, and it's hard to get out of bed. I don't know if someone's going to get into trouble today, if one of you is going to get hurt or worse. I go to work, wondering if the gallery will be successful enough to support us, keep us in clothes and food and shelter. I'm worried all the time, and things like this? They certainly don't help things…"

"What about dad?" Buffy speaks up. "If he moved back in, wouldn't it be easier…?"

"Yeah, mom, wouldn't it be good to have dad taking care of some of the stuff?" Dawn pipes up. "I mean, it was kinda better when he was here…"

"I'm sorry, girls. I know you want something else, but your dad and I just won't be getting back together. We just have to count on ourselves now."

Joyce looks into the worried faces of her daughters, and suddenly seems to come to herself. _God, Joyce, what're you doing?_

"Hey, look, guys, we're going to be ok, ok? I'm sorry, I guess I just… look, why don't you go upstairs and finish your homework or something? You have school tomorrow, and you should be getting ready for that."

"Mom, we're sorry…"

"We didn't mean…"

"Don't, please, ok?" Joyce puts on a smile, one she doesn't really feel. "I think maybe …everyone's just a little on edge. Don't worry about it. It's fine… I'll finish up here."

"Mom, we can…"

"No, I've got it. Go on now…" Joyce turns towards the sink, finishing the discussion.

Joyce hears the kitchen door open and close, and she walks over to the broom closet, planning on cleaning up the broken dish. She closes the door, and glances up. She's startled to see Buffy still standing by the dining room door, staring at her.

"Buffy?"

"Mom, I'm sorry…" Buffy begins.

"Hon, it's like I said. We're all just a little edgy. It'll be ok when things get back to normal around here." _Whatever _THAT_ is!_

"No, mom," Buffy says quietly. "I mean I'm sorry about a lot of stuff I've been doing lately…"

"Buffy, don't. I know you're a good girl. It's been hard on everyone. I know what's been happening isn't easy, especially moving to a new place and new school, and starting all over. Particularly for you, because you're in your senior year, and growing up…" Joyce smiles, approaching her daughter. "You're almost an adult now, and sometimes I forget that…"

"Mom, couldn't we try again. As a family? I mean all of us?" Buffy rushes on, before Joyce can stop her. "I mean, wouldn't it be easier with dad here? You wouldn't have to worry about everything all by yourself, and things could be better, couldn't they?"

Joyce pauses a moment, looking at her daughter. _If only it were that easy. Maybe I should just tell her the truth…_ but a little voice inside tells her she's not ready for that much yet.

"Honey, sometimes two people, after they've been together for a long time, change. It's part of life. Hopefully, they'll grow closer, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. Your father and I… we're just different now than when we got married. It's not just happening now… it's been happening for a long time. We've tried to make it work, but in the end, we've just changed too much… grown too far apart. Do you understand?"

"I guess so…" Buffy's tone says she doesn't really, however.

"It doesn't mean your dad's a bad man, nor that he loves you less. Just, together all we do is fight… we just don't have anything to build a marriage on anymore. But we both love you, very much. You and your sister, and that'll never change."

"But you said people change. Why can't you change back? Why can't it be like it was?"

"Buffy…"

"No, never mind. I don't want to hear it, and I don't want to fight," Buffy says, "I just don't see how you love someone, and then don't. Does that mean you might someday not love me, or Dawn?" She looks at her mother, and turns away. "No, I don't really want to know…"

"Buffy, that'll never happen! I swear…"

"Didn't you swear to love and honor dad, too? Like, forever?" Buffy frowns, and turns away. "Never mind, I'm just being stupid. Sorry…"

Before Joyce can stop her, she's out the door. Joyce follows her out, but Buffy's already on the stairs, rushing up to her room. Joyce hears the door slam closed.

_That went… well, that really went badly, actually._ Joyce goes over to the foyer, and looks up the stairs. _I wonder if, she can't accept Hank and I splitting up, if she'll ever accept Faith and I…_

_Nice, Joyce, except did you forget? There _IS_ no Faith and you. She left you, remember? Not that she didn't have reasons; I really messed that up good, too. The reality now is, there is no Faith and I. There might not be a Faith and I again, unless I can figure a way to make it right… and frankly, I just don't know how…_

Sighing, she turns to return to the kitchen. Passing the front door, she pauses, then opens it and retrieves the mail out of the mailbox.

_Well… usual… bill… bill… junk mail… gee, I can get my thighs thinner in only 3 weeks… bill… more junk… Ok, Ed, where's my letter for that Million dollars you keep promising me?… bill…_

She pauses, and stares at an unexpected envelope.

_UC Sunnydale? It's addressed to Faith… she must've given them this address… wonder what it's about?_

She starts to tear it open and stops herself. _OK, Joyce, not for you… still, it might be important…_ sighing, she walks into the dining room, laying the mail on the table. _Well… this is tricky… I guess I'll have to call her to let her know… _she feels her stomach tightening up… _that's going to be fun…_ She picks up the letter again, and stares at it. _God, why now? I really don't want to call her…_

Joyce lets the letter drop back on the pile. _I'll finish the dishes first… then I'll call her…_

As she passes back into the kitchen, she feels a sudden relief. She's dodged a bullet, even if only for a little while.

2

Faith for her part, is sitting leaning on the bar at the Butterfly's heart, staring at her drink. Next to it, open, lies her cell phone. She looks back and forth from the drink to the phone, as if she can't decide which one to use.

"Maybe you should just call her…"

Faith looks up to see the bartender standing next to her, looking at her.

"What?" Faith reaches for her phone, pocketing it.

"You've been sitting there staring at your phone for an hour. Maybe you should just call her…"

"Maybe it's none of your business," Faith stares at her, then takes a long swallow of her drink.

"Maybe not," The bartender, a blonde woman in her thirties, agrees. "Still, you should call her." She starts to move down the bar, wiping it as she goes.

"Maybe she should call me." Faith shoots back, defiantly.

The bartender smiles to herself. "Maybe. But it doesn't look like that's happening, does it?" She moves back up the bar. "So, what? Did you have a fight?"

"How was this your business again?" Faith sighs. "Yeah, sorta… well, ok, yeah… I kind of walked out on her…"

"You walked, and you expect her to call?" The bartender looks surprised. "You're cute, honey, but you're not Venus, you know…"

"I didn't … it wasn't like that … look, she has a problem …no, wait, that's not exactly right… I have a problem with our relationship…see, thing is, she doesn't exactly want to commit… and well, I just wasn't willing to sit 'round, being the plaything, you know? I want more than that… I mean, I'm serious here, and well… she wasn't sure what she wanted, and… Ok, there were the kids…"

" The kids?" The bartender looks at her strangely. "You had kids?"

"Huh? No, her kids. She always saying she can't do nothing because of the kids. That they wouldn't get it. But I don't think that's it…"

"Well, they could be a factor…"

"They're nearly adults. They're not stupid… I'm sure if she put it right…"

"Adults or not, they might not accept it."

"Maybe not… but does it always have to be one or the other? I mean, does it have to be them or me? Couldn't we work something out with both?"

The bartender shrugs. "I don't know. I suppose you could…"

"Exactly! I know we could… but she wasn't willing to even TRY… and so… well, I walked. Told her to think about it, but not forever…"

"And now you're sorry?"

"No, not sorry… exactly… I mean, I couldn't just be the dirty little secret forever, could I?"

"No… that never works out," The bartender agrees.

"Exactly! I mean, I had to do it! Right? I couldn't just say 'Hey, take me seriously or I'm walking' and then not walk, right?"

"Sure," The bartender shrugs.

"So, I walked. And let me tell you, that wasn't easy…"

"Sure."

"… but I did it, because it was the right thing to do! I had to draw the line somewhere, right?"

"Right."

"But damn, I miss her," Faith whines a little, and takes another swallow. "I mean, c'mon, how long does it take to make up your mind? Does she expect me to wait around forever?"

"You're asking me?"

Faith shakes her head. "I even called an old friend… well, ok, an Ex, but we're friends, you know? And asked her. And she said that being new at it, she needed time…"

"Your friend?"

"No, my girlfriend. Keep up, ok? She's new and my ex-girlfriend said this is all new to her, and she might need time to sort it. But c'mon, we all started somewhere… how long did it take you?"

"Take me?" the bartender is growing confused.

"To come out? To figure out you were gay?"

"Excuse me, did I say I was gay?"

"You're not gay? You're working here, and you're not gay?"

"It's a job…" The bartender says, "and I didn't say that, anyway."

"Huh?"

"I didn't say I'm not gay. I just said, why would you assume it?"

"Are you trying to confuse me?"

"Are you?"

Faith stares at her.

"Your story is like a soap opera, girlfriend, and not a particularly well written one at that. Who calls their ex about a current girlfriend?"

"But we're still friends."

"Uh-huh… in your mind, anyway…" The bartender cocks her head. "Look, call her, or don't. But you're not going to get an answer unless you pursue it. Sitting here, staring at your phone? Great for my business, but not really helping yours. Get it?"

"So, I should call her then?"

"Not for me to say. That's up to you."

"Thanks… not!"

Faith's phone rings. She picks it up, and stares at it. _Spooky!_

"That her?"

"Yeah…" Faith stares at the phone.

"Well, are you going to answer it?"

"Dunno… dunno if I'm ready for this…"

The bartender shakes her head, and walks away.

3

_Pick up! C'mon, Faith. Pick it up… what good is a cell phone if you're not going to answer it?_

Joyce is in the living room, sitting on the couch. She has her own cell in her hand, listening.

"Hey…"

"Faith. Glad I got through…"

"… sorry, can't answer right now. Leave a message at the beep…"

_Great, just great…_

"Faith. This is Joyce. I'm sorry to bother you, but I got a letter for you that came here. It looks important, that's why I'm calling. So, if you could, give me a call back. Ok? You know the numbers."

Joyce closes her phone, and it's not until then that she realizes her hand is shaking. She also realizes suddenly, her breathing is shallower and her heart is beating a hole in her chest.

_What's wrong with me? Why should this be so scary? I'm just calling her to tell her about some mail. It shouldn't be reason to fall apart, should it?_

She leans back on the couch, closing her eyes. _I love her. God, how I love her. Why can't I just admit that? Say it? Say I need her? Why is that so hard? Why do we have to do this? Why isn't she here? God, if she were, I bet it wouldn't be like it is. I know for a fact she could find out why Buffy and Dawn are fighting like they are. I know they'd tell her before good old mom, you know?_

_Sometimes I wonder what I'm good for, anyway? My daughters hate me, Faith has to loathe me, all I seem to do, no matter how I try, is drive people away from me. There has to be a point to my life, but so far, I'm coming up with zeroes here…_

"Mom? You ok?"

Joyce, startled, opens her eyes to see Dawn standing in the doorway, staring at her.

_She looks so tired,_ Dawn thinks, looking at her mom. _So drained… did I… we do that to her?_

"Hi, honey," Joyce forces a smile. "I'm fine. Just a little tired, I guess. Is there something you wanted?"

"No, well… yes, I wanted to see if you were ok. I… you were a little scary in the kitchen…" Dawn walks over to her mom. "I'm sorry, I really am. About earlier." She sits next to Joyce. "I… we didn't mean to worry you…"

"I really overreacted, didn't I?" Joyce says ruefully. "I'll admit, yelling at my daughters is not my favorite hobby. But I'm fine. I'm just resting a little before I clean up the kitchen."

"I can do that for you if you want…"

Joyce chuckles. "We already had _that_ talk. Let's not do it again. I've got it."

"Ok…" Dawn hesitates, looking like she wants to say more.

"Was there something else?" Joyce of course picks it up with her mom-given ESP.

"Would you go postal if we talked about Dad?"

Joyce sighs, really not wanting to bring Hank into this. Or anything, for that matter. _But he's Dawn's dad, and if she wants to talk about him, I guess we're talking._

"Am I that horrible a mom, you can't even mention your dad?" She smiles a genuine smile at her youngest. "It's ok, honey, we can talk about your dad if you want." She pats the sofa beside her. "Sit down, sweetie."

Dawn sits next to her mom.

"It's just that… I know you and dad are broke up again," Dawn continues, missing the humor, "and I know he gave you good reason to break up with him. But I think he really misses us… all of us… at least, that's what I got talking to him when he was here… and, isn't there someway you could … well, try to forgive him?"

Joyce sighs. _Not Dawn too!_

"I know, I know…" Dawn cuts in. "You hate him, but…"

"Honey, I don't hate your father…"

"Really?" Dawn looks surprised.

"No, I don't hate him," Joyce shakes her head. "Sure, he really knows how to get me angry sometimes. I guess that comes from living together all these years. But I don't hate him," She reaches out, putting her hand on Dawn's. "The problem is, I don't love him, either."

"Oh," Dawn speaks volumes with that 'oh'.

"Honey, when I married your dad, I loved him very much. He was a kind, sweet man with a wicked sense of humor and well… kind of hunky…"

"MOM! GROSS!"

Joyce laughs. "Honey, how do you think we got you and Buffy, anyway?"

"In Buffy's case? You found her in a shoebox somebody dumped in the dumpster!" Dawn makes a face. "That would explain her smell, anyway…"

"Dawn!"

"Kidding, really. Just sex, and you and dad? Or well, just sex and any parent? Kinda gross, mom."

"Well, anyway, getting back _on_ topic, we were happy for a long while. And having you and Buffy? Wouldn't trade that for _anything_ in the world. I love you both, you know that, right?"

"Aw, Mom!"

"I know, it's gross, your mom saying she loves you. Well, deal with it because I do."

Dawn rolls her eyes in the way only a teenage girl bearing the burden of a loving mom can.

"But sweetie, as time goes on, people change…"

"Is this the we grew apart speech mom? Cuz we did that…"

"Sometimes, Dawn, you're just a little too smart for your own good…" Joyce gives her daughter a look.

"I'm sorry, mom. Go on… you grew apart…"

"Never mind. The point is, Dawn, your dad and I, even if we got back together, wouldn't work. It's not that I don't love your father, I don't like him much, either. He's done some things lately…" Joyce gets a grim expression on her face. "Well, let's just say they didn't speak well for his character…"

"What?"

"Dawn, no. I think if you have questions like that, you'll have to talk to your dad about it…"

"How can I? He's not here…"

"Dawn, that's his choice…" Joyce's tone is slightly harsh. "I only threw him out of here because he hit me, Dawn. I can deal with it, but what if he decided to hit you or Buffy? I wasn't going to allow that to happen…"

"But, mom…!"

"I'm sorry, Dawn. But your and Buffy's safety and welfare come before anything…"

"Even Faith?"

"Yes, even Faith."

Dawn sits there, digesting that.

"Mom, I miss him. I really do…"

"I know you do, sweetie," Joyce puts her arm around Dawn's shoulders. "You both do. And, If you want to see him, and visa versa, well, I have no objections to it…"

"Huh? I thought…" Dawn looks genuinely surprised.

"I know," Joyce says wearily, "You and Buffy both think I want to keep him from you. I don't, honey. I just want to be in the know when you see him. I worry about you two, and I really like to know where you are…" Joyce smiles. "It's a mom thing."

"I still don't get it. It's ok if I see dad?"

"Yes. Dawn, I wouldn't keep you and your dad apart. There are a lot of things I don't like about your dad, but he's always been a good father, and I know he loves you and Buffy. So, what good would it do anyone to keep you from seeing him?"

"But you said Faith told you what I told her…"

"She did… and we discussed that, remember? You said yourself you didn't really think anything was going on…"

"Yeah…"

"You haven't changed your mind?"

"No…"

"Then I can't see why you can't see your dad," Joyce says quietly. "Partly, that's why Faith and I fought the last time. She thought…well, never mind that… thing is we disagreed… and well… you know the rest…"

"I can't believe she left," Dawn gets an angry tone in her voice. "Why did she leave? Why didn't you work it out?"

_God, don't you think I don't ask that all the time?_ Joyce feels the unintentional arrow that was shot through her heart.

"Sometimes…" Joyce's voice trembles a bit, and she restarts. "Sometimes, it's complicated, Dawn. Sometimes it's not easy to just work it out."

"Well, when Buffy and I fight, you tell us to work it out."

"That's different, honey…"

"How?"

"You're sisters…"

"Not my choice…" Dawn mutters.

"Dawn!"

"No! I'm sorry, but she's a butthead!"

"Dawn Marie Summers!" Joyce glares at her. "That's just… I don't care what happens between you two, I don't want you saying things like that!"

"Well, she's always saying junk like that…"

"Well, you're both wrong, then!"

"I can't stand her!"

"Dawn…" Joyce sighs. "Hon, I know you and Buffy will fight. That's just part of being sisters. You, Buffy, me… we're family. We're going to disagree… but it shouldn't come to blows… I guess, it was just the two of you fighting at school, hitting each other. It was … well, it was scary for me. " She cringes a little. "We need to stick together…"

"It's just something she said. Something that really made me mad…"

"Dawn, I know sometimes your sister can be annoying…" _God, she's gotten to me often enough_,"… but that still doesn't excuse…"

"She said she was glad Faith was gone. She said she wished Faith had never lived here in the first place. That she was a nosy, interfering…"

"That's enough, Dawn." Joyce holds up her hand to stop the flow.

The fact that Buffy is happy Faith is gone pains Joyce. _She seemed to be a good influence on Buffy. And Buffy seemed to like her… _. It's important to her that the girls accept Faith… and now, finding this out just made things worse.

"That's not the worst, mom!" Dawn continues on. "She said Faith was just playing us. She was just pretending to care because she thought she found a cushy sitch, and was using us…"

"Dawn! I'm sure Buffy didn't say anything like that…"

"She DID mom, god, I'm not lying here… she said Faith was playing us…"

"You know that isn't true, Dawn."

"I know…" Dawn sounds slightly offended, "but it really pissed me off saying that…"

"Dawn, your sister is just having a rough time…"

"DON'T! Don't EVEN try to excuse her mom! God, she's the most selfish, ungrateful bitch I've ever met!"

"Dawn Summers! Don't you call your sister that! I don't care what she said, that's just wrong!"

"But she called Faith a bitch, and worse! How can you defend her…?"

"She's my daughter, Dawn. Like you. I might not like what she says or does sometimes, but I won't let anyone, even you, talk about her like that."

"But it's ok for her to trash mouth Faith like that? How's that right?"

"It's not, and I'll talk to her about it. I'm sure she was doing it to get to you, hon. She knows how you feel about Faith. She might never admit it, but I'll bet a little jealousy was mixed in there, too."

"What?"

"Dawn, Buffy's your older sister. Until recently, you've always kind of looked up to her. Now, your chummy with Faith, and maybe it irks her a little bit."

"Oh, c'mon, Mom. Buffy couldn't care less. She doesn't even like me very much…"

"She's your sister, Dawn. She might not show it much, she might even get on you about stuff, but she loves you, Dawnie. She cares about you."

"Not lately," Dawn waves her hand. "Lately it's been all about her and being a cheerleader and her life and don't bug me Dawn and go away, squirt, and I don't have time for you…"

"Sounds like someone is feeling a little left out…?"

"God, no! Who'd wants to be part of a team that's greatest accomplishment is counting to 10 and shaking their hips?"

Joyce has to smile. "I really think there's more to it that that, Dawn…"

"Really not caring, mom," Dawn shakes her head, "Frankly, not caring so much about her or her stupid life or her stupid cheerleading or anything. I know she's my sister, but she's been like … like… a total stranger, even before we moved here. Everyone dotes on her, and makes excuses for her, and the only one who actually seemed to pay attention to me … she says crap about. Well, sorry, mom, but I'm not putting up with that. I don't care what Buffy is. She can't talk trash like that about Faith…"

"Dawn…"

"NO, mom, just no! I'm sorry, but I really miss Faith. God, she'd always listen to me, even when she was busy and everything. She didn't treat my stuff like I was some kind of bother or kid or something. She really tried to … I miss her! Dammit, why doesn't she call? I really need to talk to her about stuff…"

"Honey, you can talk to me…"

"Mom, c'mon. Some stuff, you just can't talk to your mom about…" Dawn makes a face. "It's too… gross!"

Joyce isn't sure if she wants to laugh or be worried by that remark. Instead, she lets it pass.

"Dawn, I know you miss her. I miss her too," Joyce feels a large pain just thinking how much she misses the wild haired, crazy girl she's come to love so much. "I wish I could… I wish things were different… but we might just have to accept that…" Joyce feels herself trembling, and grips her hands to keep them from shaking. "Sweetie, sometimes thing just don't work out…"

"Don't work out? What're you saying, mom? You guys had a fight, but you'll work it out…" Dawn looks at her mom, worry plain on her face. "You love each other…"

"Loving someone isn't a cure all, Dawn," Joyce feels a chill in her heart. "Sometimes, it's not enough to fix what's wrong…"

"What… what's wrong, mom?" Dawn has a sudden sinking feeling. "What happened? You told me that you had a fight… that's why she left… can't you talk about it? I don't understand… when you love someone, you make it up…"

"I don't know, Dawn. Sometimes, some things you can't fix…" She looks at her daughter, feeling helpless. "Sometimes you just don't know how…"

"Mom, please… you gotta try, you can't give up…"

"Dawn, no matter what happens between me and Faith, she'll always care about you. I know for a fact she really likes you…"

"Don't!" Dawn looks at her, a little desperately. "Don't lie to me. She won't be around, she'll go away, and I'll never see her again and you'll be … and I can't … " Dawn stands up, suddenly, her face red. "You've got to fix this, mom. You can't… you can't just let her go!"

"Dawn, sweetie…"

"No! I'm tired of being the _reasonable_ one. It doesn't get crap around here. I need her too, don't you get it?" Dawn stares at her mother, her anger rising. "I need her , too! You gotta promise to fix this! You gotta!"

Joyce stands, and puts her arms around her daughter. Dawn struggles against it at first, then leans in, wanting and needing the comfort. She looks up at her mom, her eyes wet.

"Please, mom, fix it. Please?"

Joyce pulls her daughter's head to her chest, and caresses her hair.

"I'll try, honey. I really will. I'll do my best."

4

"No, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening…"

Joyce stares at the door of her SUV, and frowns. Inside the truck, in the ignition, sit her keys. Her truck keys, and of course, her house key. Sitting on the seat, on the passenger seat is her purse. Her purse with her cell phone in it.

All this wouldn't be so tragic, except when she exited the SUV to get the briefcase she forgot inside the house, she pushed down the lock on her door… something she always does. It's a habit._ Better safe than sorry, right?_

Except today. This morning. Because now she was stuck, standing in her driveway, feeling like a total fool.

Truck locked, no way in it. House locked, no way to get the spare key. Cell phone in purse, on seat, in locked truck. No way to call anyone.

_Well, I guess I'll try Mrs. Peterson. See if she's home. I can use her phone to call Triple A and get someone to unlock the trunk._

_Except I'm going to miss an important client. I told him I'd meet him there this morning, and now…_

Joyce shrugs, sighing. _Well, considering how it's been going this morning, what did I expect?_

It had started off so nicely. Until the grumpy twins, Buffy and Dawn, woke up. Then it was sniping and bickering, almost coming to blows over who got the shower first. Joyce had broken up the fight, and threatened to ground them until they were collecting social security if they didn't find a way to get along. Then she assigned who was to go first in the shower, with groans from one Grumpette, and snickering from the other.

Coming downstairs, she found the refrigerator had picked today to die. It was an older model, and the repairman had told her the last time he was out, to not even bother calling him on it again. It was living on borrowed time.

That time ran out sometime last night. The food wasn't spoiled, yet, but pretty much, it was going to be sometime today. _At least, It's been a week since I was shopping, so maybe it won't be so much lost…_

Joyce had just settled down at the dining room table with a cup of coffee when daughters put in an appearance.

"Hey mom," Buffy breezed through the dining room, heading for the kitchen. She came out carrying a bottle of water in one hand, and juice in the other. "Hey, the juice and water is kinda warm. Is the fridge busted again?" Buffy said in passing, heading for the front door.

"Hold on. Where are you going?"

"Gotta fly, mom…" Buffy paused at the front door.

Joyce was immediately suspicious. _Buffy, going to school early? Did the world start turning around backwards this morning?_ "What about breakfast, Buffy? What's the rush?"

"Don't have time. Gotta see Cordelia before school…" Buffy disappeared through the front door. "… see ya later." The door slammed after her.

"Buffy!" Joyce sighed realizing it was too late to stop her.

"Hey, mom," Dawn started to walk towards the kitchen when Joyce stopped her. "What?"

"What about breakfast?"

"No time, mom. Want to meet Xander before school. I mean, it's been 3 days since I've seen him…"

"Uh, I think Mr. Xander Harris can wait for a couple of minutes while you have breakfast."

"Aw, mom!" Dawn complained, but she started towards the table. "Where's Buffy?"

"She … left." Joyce admitted. "She said something about meeting Cordelia…"

"Left? How come she gets to leave, and I gotta stay?" Dawn rocked back and forth on her feet. "It's not fair!"

"I know it's a burden to have to have breakfast with dear _old_ mom, but somebody's got to do it."

"Mom, c'mon. That's not what I meant…" Dawn protested, still rocking a little. "it's just been three days since I saw Xander, and … well, I'm totally having boyfriend withdrawals…"

"Well, you've managed to avoid delirium tremens so far. I don't think another fifteen minutes are going to hurt."

"Mom!" Dawn grumbled. "I don't get to do nothing." She made her way to her seat, sitting down and crossing her arms peevishly.

Maybe it was the early morning bickering. Maybe it was the refrigerator picking today of all days to break down. Maybe it was a lack of sleep, thinking about Faith and not hearing from her. Something inside of Joyce snapped, however.

"You know what? Just go, Dawn. Never mind. If it's such a big chore to be here with me in the morning for breakfast, well, I don't want you here. Go to school."

Dawn immediately felt like a shit heel. "Aw, mom, that isn't what I meant. I'm …"

"I really don't want to hear it right now, ok? I've spent the last 3 days with you and Buffy, putting up with your moods and tempers. You've both been acting like brats; now neither of you can take the time to have breakfast with me. Well, fine. Just go. I'm tired, and I really don't feel like fighting. So, go."

Dawn felt her stomach tighten. "Mom, please, I'm…"

"Just go, ok? I'll see you tonight." Joyce holds up her hand, cutting off further discussion.

Dawn stood, all petulance drained from her. She looked at her mom, wide eyed, looking a little confused, scared and worried.

"Mom, please, don't be mad at me. I'm really sorry." Her voice caught, the knot in her stomach growing to softball size.

Joyce sighed, "I'm not mad, Dawn," She softens her tone. "I'm just tired. I'll see you tonight."

Dawn wavered a moment, then turned towards the doorway. She walked to the arch and turned back.

"Bye, mom…"

Joyce didn't answer, just waving her hand.

Dawn left quietly.

Joyce sat at the table, feeling washed out. She leaned her head on her hand.

_Nice, Joyce, really nice. Pull the mom guilt card. That's Dawn, remember? The GOOD child? Did you have to be so harsh with her?_

_Well, you know what? It hurt, just a little. No, strike that. It hurt a lot. All I ask is for a little time at breakfast and dinner, you know? Just spend a little time with good old mom. You know, the one that's been keeping the roof over our heads, and paying the bills, and trying to keep things together. Trying to make this a family. Is it going to kill them, either of them, to give me an hour or so a day? After all I do for them? All I give up for them?_

_Oh, boo hoo, Joyce. Is that it? Are you trying to blame them for Faith? Is that the deal here? Face it, girl, Faith leaving had NOTHING to do with them. It had ALL to do with you not making her a part of your life. If you lost Faith, that's your fault, not theirs. Don't you blame them for your cowardice, Joyce. If you're looking for someone to blame, look in the mirror, girlfriend._

Joyce stood up, grabbing her cup.

_Why didn't she call back? Why? Can't she give me another chance? One little chance?_

Joyce headed for the kitchen.

Now she stands here, staring into her SUV, feeling more lost than ever. She feels her anger and frustration build, and she starts to pound on the roof of the car.

_What's wrong with me? Can't I do anything right? Why does everything have to go to so wrong?_

"Joyce?"

Joyce, startled, turns to see Faith standing at the edge of the driveway, staring at her. Her heart thumps crazily in her chest, and for a moment, black spots appear in front of her eyes. She's convinced she's going to collapse, and leans heavily on the car.

"Joyce, you ok?" Faith, looking both wary and concerned, approaches Joyce a little cautiously.

"No, I'm not ok," Joyce snaps, turning away from her. "Nothing's ok. Buffy and Dawn are at each other throats, and got suspended from school for three days for fighting. My stupid refrigerator decided to go out this morning, breakfast was a non event, both of them too busy to spend any time with dear old mom, and now I've locked my stupid keys in my stupid truck and I have to get a briefcase out of the house and I'm locked out of the house and my truck and my cell is locked in there and I'm going to be late for an appointment and my life is shit!"

Faith, a little overwhelmed, stands there, with her mouth a little open.

"Oh."

"What're you doing here, Faith? What do you want? Do you want to make me feel worse? I don't think I can feel worse, but what the hell? They way things are going today, maybe I can. Go on, take your best shot…" Joyce is not longer thinking rationally.

"I came because you said you had a letter for me?" Faith says quietly, calmly. "Maybe this is a bad time…?"

Faith's answer is like a cold bucket of water splashed on her. Her confusion and anger are gone instantly, replaced by embarrassment and just a little humility.

"I'm sorry, I forgot. That's right, I do have a letter for you…" Joyce looks at the house. "Unfortunately, it's inside, and I'm sort of locked out." She looks at her car, and can't help chuckling a little darkly. "From everything, it seems."

Faith looks at the SUV and shakes her head. "Can't help you with that…" then she nods at the house. "… but maybe I can…" she starts walking towards the house. " Got a spare set of keys?" She pauses, looking at Joyce.

"Yeah… on the key rack by the back door."

Faith nods, turns, and looking both ways, slips down the side yard.

Joyce stands there puzzled, watching her go. _What the heck is she going to…?_

It isn't too long before Faith reappears, and once again looking both ways, hurries up to Joyce. She holds up a set of keys.

"These it?" Faith hands her the keys.

"Yes!" Joyce takes the keys, and happily opens the SUV, retrieving her keys and purse. "But how did you get them? Did you…?"

Faith stands there for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face. Then she lifts her other hand, and dangling from a finger is another set of keys. Two keys, the house keys Joyce made for her when she moved in.

Joyce feels the flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck.

"Oh."

"What did you think, Joy? That I added burglary to my résumé?" Faith's arch tone has a slight edginess to it.

"No, I… I… I forgot about those…" Joyce's embarrassment increases exponentially.

"Here," She holds out the keys. "You better take them before you forget 'em again."

"No, you keep those…" Joyce waves at her, looking away.

"I don't live here anymore, Joyce."

Something in Faith's tone makes Joyce look up at her. She sees the tight cast to Faith's lips, and the large hurt in her eyes. Her heart feels as if it's being crushed.

"Take them, Joy," Faith says softly, waggling the keys.

Joyce reaches out, taking the keys. Her fingers briefly brush against Faiths, and their eyes briefly lock. Then both look away, embarrassed at what might've been revealed.

An awkward silence drops between them like a stone wall, and both stand there uncomfortably, not knowing what to say or do.

"What about that letter?" Faith finally says, voice tight.

"Right. I'll get that now…" Joyce's tone is equally restrained. She walks towards the house, stops and turns back. "You look good, Faith." She says briefly, then is up the steps and through the door.

Faith stands there, biting her lip to keep from crying right there. She can feel the hot tears threatening behind her eyes. _Not NOW, stupid! NOT NOW!_ She digs her nails into her palms.

Joyce reappears at the doorway, and pauses briefly, looking at Faith. Even from here she can see Faith's confusion and feel Faith's sense of being lost. A sudden, almost overwhelming urge to run down the stairs, sweep Faith into her arms and kiss her passionately sweeps over her.

_Why don't you? WHY DON'T YOU? She'd probably like that. LOVE that. Prove to her that you're really serious here… Do it! Go on, DO IT!_

Joyce walks down the steps, and carrying the envelope, approaches Faith cautiously.

"Here's that letter…" She holds out the envelope, almost using it to keep some distance between them. "It was from the University. I thought it might be important…"

"Thanks," Faith says, putting her hand on the proffered envelope. Again there's a moment of eye contact, quickly broken.

Faith stands uneasily, staring at the envelope.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Joyce asks, breaking her reverie," it might be important."

"Doubt it," Faith replies, turning the envelope and slipping her finger along the flap. Pulling out the contents, she starts to read it.

Joyce stands watching Faith, trying to cue any reaction from her. But her demeanor, except for a slight widening of her eyes, doesn't change.

"What does it say?" Joyce finally asks, feeling impatient and anxious.

Faith just looks up, her eyes reflecting puzzlement. She hands the letter to Joyce.

Office of Admissions

University of California

2750 University drive

Sunnydale, California.

Dear Ms. McKerrigan:

I am writing to inform you about a change in your student status at the university.

The board of regents has reviewed your recent disciplinary action. After receiving new information previously unavailable, the board has decided to reverse the previous ruling and has reinstated you with full privileges, expunging your record of any disciplinary action.

As of September 27th, you are a student in good standing. We hope you will return to campus, and will contact this office if your require any assistance.

If you have any questions, please contact me at 769-555-2233

Cordially,

Dr. Joan Landis

Dean of Admissions

University of California at Sunnydale

Ps. Faith, I just wanted to add that I'm very pleased at the results of the Regent's review. I felt you got a very raw deal concerning this whole affair, and finally you've gotten some justice. I've contacted you're professors, and arranged for you to be able to make up the course work to this point, without prejudice. I've also arranged for a tutor, at the University's expense, if you so need. If there's anything more I can do for you, please, don't hesitate to contact me…. Joan Landis.

Joyce looks up at Faith, smiling. " This is great news…"

She feels the smile die on her lips as she looks at Faith's closed up expression.

"…isn't this good news?" She finishes up, unable to read the younger woman's mood.

"Yeah, sure," Faith agrees, not exactly doing cartwheels. "I suppose it's great that they finally figured out what I already knew… that I didn't do anything wrong." Her nostrils flare a little. "Too bad they couldn't have figured that out in the first place…"

Joyce starts to interrupt, but Faith stops her.

"…that woulda been good. Right now, not even sure if I wanna go back there."

"Faith…"

"Not even sure what I wanna do yet," Faith, feeling tense, moves away. "After what's happened, maybe I need a change…" she faces Joyce. "I dunno, gotta think about stuff…" she turns, facing the street.

Joyce realizes that she has to think about what she says next. Faith seems disconnected, somehow, and pushing her might push her away… forever.

"Faith…" Joyce comes up behind her, "whatever you decide to do, I know you're going to do well. Your smart, your talented, and you've got the drive to do it…"

"Uh huh," Faith seems distracted, far away.

"Back in Boston, you were taking classes to improve your life. That's a good thing… shows you have direction, you want more for yourself."

"Hmmm…yeah, who doesn't?" She still faces away from Joyce.

"This is a good opportunity for you. You can do a lot here, whatever you want to do. If you want to pursue your art, they have a good program for it…" Faith seems to shrug, and Joyce continues."… or whatever you want to do… they have a lot to offer. You've worked hard to get here; you deserve this chance."

"Maybe… yeah, maybe I do… but like I said, I gotta think about stuff…"

"I know. I'm just saying, don't let whatever's between us affect your decision…" Almost as soon as the words clear her lips, she knows she's said the wrong thing. She sees Faith's body stiffen.

"What _is_ between us, Joyce?" Faith turns around, looking straight into Joyce's eyes. "I dunno… that's part of what I gotta think about… and you too. I can't put my life in little boxes… this part here, that part there… it's all in one big box to me, and everything kinda overlaps and mixes together, you know?"

Joyce feels almost trapped in her deep, dark eyes. She sees a cold fire burning there.

"So, I gotta figure out everything, sorta, so I can do what I gotta do…" She breaks the stare, and looks away. "First thing is, where I wanna be… then I'll decide about the rest. " She turns away, starting down the street. "I'll seeya Joyce."

"Faith! Wait!" Joyce runs after her, catching up to her. "Do you need a ride? I don't see your bike…"

"I parked it at the mini-mart at the corner," Faith points down the street. "I really gotta go."

She walks around Joyce, heading for the corner.

"Faith! Please, at least, will you tell me what you decide?" Joyce calls out.

"Kinda have to, don't I?"

Joyce looks puzzled.

"Like it or not, you're part of that big box, Joy." For the first time, she smiles. A small, wistful smile. "A big part." Sighing, she turns away.

Joyce watches her go until she disappears around the corner. Turning back towards her house, she has to wonder if Faith hasn't already told her.

Sighing, she moves up the walkway to her front door.

5

Buffy stares at the apple in her hand, turning it over and over.

_Eat you or save you?_ She wondered to herself, staring at the red round fruit. At the moment, she was leaning towards save.

She wasn't feeling particularly hungry. Dejection had that affect on her appetite.

It wasn't anything that anyone said or did. More, it was the stuff between the lines that got to her.

The good news? She was still on the squad. Though that had taken a little fast talking on her part.

"I told you when you joined up, Buffy. I really want to win the state championships this year, " Cordelia had said this morning. "You being out for three days really messed things up a little. We worked out a whole new routine, and you weren't around to learn it. This really isn't fair to the others…"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I really am," Buffy humbled herself to Cordelia. "It's that stupid sister of mine. She started that fight that got me suspended. I didn't want to fight her, but she …hit me! I couldn't just stand there and let her hit me, could I?"

"No, I suppose not," Cordelia admits, grudgingly. "Still, didn't I warn you about her? She's nothing but trouble…"

"Trust me, I know. I have to live with the squirt." Buffy makes a martyr's face. "It's hell, believe me."

"Why do you call her squirt? I mean, she's taller than you are, Buffy."

Buffy saw an opportunity, and took it.

"Believe me, it has _nothing_ to do with how tall she is…" She waves Cordelia closer. She leans in, and whispers something into Cordelia's ear.

Cordelia's eyes went wide, and she burst out laughing.

"Oh my god! You're joking, right?"

Buffy shook her head. "Nuh-uh."

"But how do you know?"

Buffy made a face. "Eeew, not like by first hand or nothing," She shuddered. "She told me… she was worried it was weird." Buffy giggled. "Well, duh! But consider the source."

Both snicker a little.

"Well, I don't think we have to cut you…"

"Thanks, Cordelia. Really," Buffy is almost pathetic in her gratitude. "I promise, I'll catch up and I'll work really, really hard!"

"Oh, you bet you will. You have a whole new routine to learn, and frankly I don't have time to stop the squad in practice to teach you… hmmm… dilemma. What should I do?" Cordelia pretended to think about it.

"Couldn't one of the other girls show me? I know I'll pick it right up…"

"It's a pretty complicated routine. Took some time to teach the girls that actually showed up for practice…" Cordelia shakes her head. "and frankly, I can't spare one of the regulars to teach you…"

"There has to be somebody who can show me. I know I can do it, Cordelia, if you'll just give me the chance."

"Now that I think of it, there is somebody I can spare. I mean, she knows the routine almost as well as I do…"

"Great!"

"I'm sure Harmony will be happy to put you through the paces," Cordelia drops the bomb.

Buffy shuts her eyes, as if in pain. What as if? She IS in pain.

"Harmony?"

"I'm afraid so, Buff," Cordelia was full of false sympathy. "I know you've had your problems in the past, but she's the _only one_ I can spare …" Cordelia shrugged "It's your choice."

The implication was clear.

"Uhhh… sure, that sounds great. Harmony… I'm sure we'll get along just fine." Buffy plastered on a smile she certainly didn't feel.

"I hope so. I don't want to hear of any more fighting," Cordelia can barely keep back a chortle. "So, I expect you to do whatever Harmony tells you to do, without question."

"Sure, of course!" Buffy said brightly, as she felt her stomach slowly sink to her knees.

"So, you better get a move on, don't you think? You don't want to be late for class, and get in more trouble, do you?"

"No, no, I'm off… thanks, Cordelia, I really appreciate it…" She starts off, then comes back. "By the way, that thing I told you about Dawn? It's just between you and me, ok?"

"Sure, sure, Buff. No problem." Cordelia smiles. "Now, scoot. Don't want to give Snyder any more reasons to suspend you, do you?"

"I'm gone." Buffy said.

And she was.

Cordelia watched her go, appreciating the nice sway to her butt as she disappeared down the hall. Sucking on the tip of her pinkie, she nodded.

_Oh man, this is going to be almost too much fun._

Chuckling to herself, she made her way to class.

Things didn't improve for her as the day went on. The initial lukewarm reception took a decidedly cooler turn.

Those members of the squad who couldn't outright ignore her by pretending they didn't hear her, were decidedly brief in any conversation they had with her. Most acted as if she had something catching; something they definitely didn't want to catch. Finally, after a couple of classes, she avoided them as much as they avoided her.

The creepiest part was the way Harmony kept looking at her. _I swear, she looks like a hyena checking out a piece of meat,_ Buffy thought, as she turned around and again saw Harmony staring at her. Smiling at her. She swore she was almost salivating at her. Along with the rejection, by lunch time Buffy had a case of the wiggins.

Lunchtime, however, was the worst.

Buffy carried her tray towards the cheerleader's table, still feeling a little wary. However, halfway there she heard them burst out in a gale of giggles, and that help set her heart a little more at ease. _Sounds normal enough… I guess I'm just being paranoid or something…_. Weaving through the crowd, she sets her tray down just in time to catch the last part of the latest gossip.

"… I swear it's true. Every time she gets all excited. Gross, huh?" Harmony said, the others listening intently.

Another wave of laughter burst out, and Buffy smiled, wondering what they're talking about.

"Her sister even gave her a nickname for it. But you don't have to believe me. Ask Buffy…" Harmony turned towards Buffy, smiling broadly. "What's the nickname you gave your sister again?"

Buffy almost dropped her tray. As she felt the flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck, she turned to look at Cordelia. She was seated next to harmony, cool as a cucumber.

"C'mon, Buffy," Harmony chirps merrily. "What did you call her again?"

Everyone at the cheerleading table, and some at the Jock's table next to it, was staring at her. Buffy trembled with humiliation mixed with anger and a feeling of betrayal.

"You… you promised…" Buffy stammered, in a voice just loud enough to be heard. "You said you wouldn't tell anyone…"

Cordelia shrugged casually. "It's too good to keep secret, Buff. I just had to share it with the squad…" Her eyes narrowed as she smirked at Buffy. "If you wanted to keep it secret, you shouldn't have told anyone."

"I trusted you…" Buffy's voice was trembling. She backs away from the table. "Why? Why're you doing this to me?"

"Why're you doing this to me?" Cordelia mocks her, "maybe you'll think twice about spreading lies about people".

"W-W-What're you talking about?" Buffy along with being humiliated, is confused.

"Wa Wa Wa!" Cordelia mocks her. "God, I guess dumb blonde really fits in your case, huh? Or maybe lying bitch fits. Whatever. Why don't you just be elsewhere, Buffy? We don't need any lying losers at this table." Cordelia sneers, " and don't be late for practice again, or I'll kick your ass off the squad, too. You aren't that good, Blondie! Only reason I'm keeping you on cuz my girl Harm here thinks you've got potential. Frankly, I think she's a softie, but hey… she's looking forward to working with you. So, get your ass there on time or you're so gone, got it?"

For one infinitesimal moment, Buffy wants to take her tray and throw it at Cordelia's head. Wipe that sneer off her face with a tray of food.

But she realizes, this is all she has left. The satisfaction of seeing Cordelia Chase covered in Mystery Meat would last only a brief moment. The resulting humiliation would last the rest of the year. She was stuck right were she was, and it was her own fault.

All that passed through her mind in less than a second, and she nodded at Cordelia, acknowledging her command over her. She backed away from the table, and then went in search of a place to sit.

So here she sits, contemplating her apple. The rest of her lunch sits on her tray, untouched. Even the apple seems to be too much to contemplate, yet she knows she best eat something. Somehow, she just knew practice was going to be grueling.

_Maybe I should just skip it. Let her boot me off the team. Sure, and then what? What else have I got? No, I worked my ass off to get on the squad. I'll be damned if I let give up now. I don't care what that bottle blonde bitch tries on me. I'll just work harder. Won't let them kick me off! I won't!_

"Hey."

Buffy looks up, a little startled. She sees a boy about her age standing by her table, smiling down at her.

This guy is definitely _not_ the typical "Buffy" type. First of all, he was short. Very short. He wasn't much taller than she was. Secondly, he definitely wasn't a jock. _Not with the spiky blondish hair that looks like it defies combing, _Buffy thought, looking him over._ Never mind he's dressed like a grunge band, and wears an earring. That's so last month! Though, he _is _muscular enough… if he didn't hide it under the loose shirts. But a jock? No way! what, are they going to use him as the ball?_

And he has a strange, almost wolfish grin. Strange, yet weirdly appealing at the same time.

_And why does he look familiar, somehow?_ Buffy shakes her head.

All in all, not the type Buffy would normally give a second glance to.

"Hey," Buffy replies," you want something?"

The boy shrugged. "Not really. Just, saw you sitting here by yourself…"

"… and you thought you'd come over and scam on me? Don't think so…"

"Actually… I just wanted a place to sit down. The place is full."

Buffy looks around, and realizes he's not making it up. The cafeteria is indeed, full.

"Oh. Ok, well, I guess you can sit down…"

"Thanks," the boy says, putting down his tray, and following it down.

"but just because I'm letting you sit here doesn't mean we're talking or anything. Or even that I acknowledge your existence. Got it?"

"Cool," the guy said, picking up his fork and starting in on his lunch.

"Good, just so we got that cleared up," Buffy says, turning back to her apple.

She sits there for awhile, staring at her apple, and more than a little puzzled. She glances up, and notices the young man sitting across from her seems to have absolutely no interest in her; rather, he seems to be concentrating solely on his tray.

_Ok, what's his deal, anyway? What kind of freak sits at a table with a, if I must say so myself, pretty girl, and totally ignores her for food? Is he like, gay? Is that what I've come down to now? Only the gay guys will be sitting with me? Man, this blows. And , why does he look so familiar to me?_

"Hey?"

The boy looks up, questioningly.

"you got a name?"

The boy nods, and goes back to eating.

_God, rude much?_

"Excuse me?"

He looks up again.

"What's your name?"

He finishes chewing, swallows and then puts down his fork.

"Sorry, thought you didn't want to talk. Oz."

"Huh?"

"Oz."

"What's Oz?"

"My name."

"Your name? You're called Oz? As in Wizard of…?"

"More like the HBO series… " he grins. "Sorry. Actually, it's short for Osborne. Daniel. That's me. But my friends call me Oz"

"Oh," Buffy nods. After a pause. "I'm not your friend."

"True enough," He agrees. He returns to his lunch.

_What is so fascinating about that tray? I mean, I've eaten the food here. It's pretty boring._

"Why do you look familiar?"

Oz looks up. "Do I?"

"You do. Where have I seen you?"

"I dunno…" Oz replies, returning to his lunch. "Around?" He starts in on another bite of food.

"Excuse me, but when I'm talking to you, is it too much to ask you to be civil and pay attention? I really hate to compete with the Jell-O mold when I'm trying to talk to someone."

Oz looks at her quizzically, then shrugs and puts down his fork. He pushes his tray to the side.

"Sorry."

"That's better. Now, why do you look familiar to me?"

"How come you're not eating your lunch?" Oz asks.

"Excuse me, how does my not eating the …" She looks at her lunch. "… tuna surprise have anything to do with what we're talking about?" She pushes her tray a little further away. "I'm not hungry, is all."

"Oh," Oz nods. "What were we talking about?"

"You. Why you look familiar to me!"

"Oh, right." He shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe we have a class together?"

"No, that's not it. I mean, don't take this personally, but you're not the kind of guy I'd notice if we had a class together. No offense."

"None taken," Oz says agreeably. "Do you go to the Bronze much?"

"No. I mean, yes, I go to the Bronze, where else is there in this little blob on the map? But again, I wouldn't notice you in a crowd…" She smiles apologetically. "Sorry."

"No, that's cool," Again Oz is unflappable. "Maybe you saw me onstage there?"

"Huh?"

"Sometimes I… well, me and my band… play there."

"Your in a band?" Buffy asks, a little amazed.

"Didn't I just say that?"

"Yes, you did, actually," Buffy can't help smiling, just a little. "Sorry, so, what band?"

"That's better."

"Huh?"

"You smiled. You've been kinda making with the dire."

Buffy blushes, and she doesn't know why.

"Sorry, kinda been dire today…"

"Oh? Why?"

"Uhhh… not wanting to talk about it, ok? More interested in what band you're with."

"Dingoes"

"Huh?" _God, rude or what?_ "I'm not a dingo…"

"What?" Oz nods. "Sorry, no, my band. The Dingoes. Actually, Dingoes ate my baby."

Buffy's eyes widen. "That 'Dingoes'? Oh my god, my friend is such a fan of yours!"

"We have a fan?" Oz looks surprised and amused. "Wow, that's new."

"No, really, she thinks you guys are great. That's how I know about you. She dragged me to one of your gigs …"

Oz arches a brow.

"Well, ok, not dragged, but you know what I mean. Anyway, you guys are pretty good."

"There are a lot of people who'd argue with you about that… but at least we're not tripping over our amp cords anymore…"

"Well, my friend isn't one of them. She thinks you guys are the best thing since Stone Temple Pilots."

"Actually, we're more influenced by… never mind. It's just pretty cool having a fan… well, fans I guess if we count you. Gotta tell the guys. I don't think we've had fans before." He thinks about that.

"Oh, c'mon. You guys play pretty good. You gotta have lots of fans…"

"No, not really…" Oz shakes his head. "Well, except maybe Devon. The girls seem to like him, a lot."

"Which one is Devon?"

"The lead singer?"

"Really? The girls like him?" Buffy makes a face. "I dunno, I think he's kind of full of himself, actually."

A small grin plays on Oz's rather unemotional face. "Yeah, that's true enough. Still, it works for him."

"Frankly, it's kind of gets old, you know?"

"Really? Hmmm…" Oz pauses. "So, who do you like?"

Buffy is suddenly flustered. Again, not knowing why.

"Like? I dunno… I just kind of like the whole band, actually."

"Really?" Straight faced. "Kinky."

"What?" Buffy blushes, "Not like that. Geeze."

Oz chuckles dryly. " Sorry. So, who's the mystery fan?"

"Huh?"

"You said your friend was a fan, too?"

"Oh, right… wait…" Buffy looks around, and spotting Willow, points. "There she is. Wait, I'll get her, and let her gush for herself…"

Oz turns to look where Buffy's pointing, then smiles. "No, that's ok. I know her."

"You do?"

"Yeah, Willow and I go back, way back. To playgroup, I think."

"Geeze does everyone in this town know everyone else?"

"Pretty much. Not a lot of town to know, you know?" Oz shrugs. "Anyway, Willow has always been like, a fan. We kind of don't count her" He leans in towards Buffy. "We think she might be tone deaf."

"That is so not true, Daniel Osborne, and you know it."

While they've been talking, Willow has come up on them. She stands behind Oz.

"So, how's it going, Oz?" Willow ruffles his already unruly hair. "Whatcha up to?"

Oz looks at Buffy with a 'see what I mean' look.

"Hey, Willow," Buffy says, smiling.

"Oh, hi, Buffy," Willow's tone seems a little distant.

Buffy, already hypersensitive, picks up on it immediately. _Oh god, now what? What did I do to her?_

"Hey, Will… we're playing the Bronze Saturday night. You coming?"

"Would I miss the Dingoes?"

"Well, if you had a hot date, you might."

"Maybe. But more likely, I'd drag her along with."

"Oh, right…" He looks at Buffy suddenly, and his eyes widen a little. "Oh… so, are you two like… dating?"

"WHAT?"

"No!" Buffy protests. "I mean, I'm not into girls. I mean, if I was, then maybe yeah, but I'm not." Buffy is suddenly doubly flustered. _Oh, that'd be just great. Never mind the Cheerleaders hate me. If they thought I was a lesbian too…_

"Oz," Willow shakes her head, smiling. "Where'd you get the idea that Buffy and I were … dating?"

"Oh, well. She said you dragged her to one of our gigs, and well, you just said you'd drag your girlfriend to my gig, so …"

"I see why you failed _Elements of Logic_ now. Faulty reasoning, Oz. Just because I have a friend that happens to be a girl, that doesn't make her my girlfriend. I'm not attracted to EVERY girl I meet."

_Huh? __What? She's not attracted to me? What's wrong with me? I'm pretty…_

"Anyway, Buffy's straight, and I don't date straight girls. It's…" She suddenly trails off, looking pained. "let's just say it never really works out well…" She gives Buffy a strange look.

_What? Do I have a third eye now? What's going on here?_

"What?" Buffy feels a definite tension off of Willow.

"What, what?" Willow retorts. "Look, I gotta motor. See you Saturday night, Oz."

"Wait, what's going on?" Buffy speaks up, "What's the deal? Why're you so…?"

"Why am I so what, Buffy?" Willow stares at her. "Gay? I was born this way. Why're you a homophobe?"

"What?" Buffy sounds a little offended. "What're you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon, Buffy. Remember the night I told you I was gay? You nearly crapped yourself, and almost ran me over trying to get away from me."

"That's so not true!" Buffy protests. "You took me by surprise. I was surprised, but I …"

"You thought I was gonna throw you down on the floor and take you right there," Willow says with a bitter edge in her voice. "I just thought I should be upfront with you, and you acted…" Willow rolls her eyes.

"Hey! How fair is that? If I just blurted out I was gay, and you weren't, how'd YOU react to that?"

"Not like you were gonna force yourself on me."

"God, what's your trauma? What did I do? Why're you acting like this?"

Willow looks at her, really stares at her. Buffy feels her un-comfort level rise significantly.

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Well, duh! I wouldn't have asked if I did!"

Willow shakes her head in disbelief. "God, how can you be so clueless? Didn't you wonder why Cordelia's treating you the way she's treating you?"

"How do you know how Cordelia's treating me?"

"God, Buffy, half the cafeteria knows! We all saw the drama at the cheerleader table…" Willow's frown deepens. "Oh, and I'd really try to avoid Dawn for awhile. She's really, really angry at you."

Buffy gulps, and blushes deeply.

"You just couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?" Willow says, shaking her head and sighing. "I don't get you, Buffy. I thought we were friends. I really did… guess I was wrong…"

"What did I do? Why is everyone so mad at me?"

"Think, Buffy. THINK!" Willow stares at her, and after awhile, she realizes Buffy still isn't getting it. "It's like talking to a stone. It just won't sink in. Frankly, I don't have the time or breath to waste. Do me a favor, ok? Just stay away from me for awhile? Like, until after your collecting social security. Ok?"

Willow turns on her heel and strides off quickly. Buffy just sits there, stunned.

"What is her problem?"

"You really don't know, do you?"

"No, I really don't! I didn't DO anything to her!"

"Buffy, remember the fight you had with your sister…?"

"Uh, yeah. I was suspended for three days over it."

"Remember how, during that fight, you kind of blabbed to Willow about her and Cordelia making out in the girls room?"

"What? I never…"

The Buffy stops dead. A cold sinking feeling comes to her stomach when she remembers the fight, and the aftermath.

"Oh… god…"

"Yeah, well, thing is? It kind of wasn't just heard by you and her. It kind of got out all over school. And Cordelia? She really wasn't at all pleased by it. Not one bit."

"What… what happened?"

"While you and Dawn were cooling your heels at home, Cordelia had a little run in with Willow. Well, actually, she had her guard dog, Harmony, start it, but she finished it up real good. Cordelia pretty much called her every nasty name she could think of, and threatened to ruin her parents by suing them into the poorhouse. Thing was? Willow didn't fight back. She just stood there, taking it from Cordelia, Harmony and the rest of the squad…" Oz shakes his head. "Even the ones she actually dated before. She never said a word in her defense; she just took it, then slunk off after. She was totally humiliated."

"I… I never meant for that to happen…"

"She knows that Buffy. She knows you were just lashing out at her because she got between you and Dawn. That doesn't make it better for her. Seems some others got the bright idea to … oh, trash her locker, and write "DYKE" in big bold letters on it. More than one called her a pervert, and said she should be kicked out of school. She's been taking it, and taking it, and not complaining about it. But she's reached her breaking point, I think…"

"She hates me, doesn't she?" Buffy whispers. "God, I deserve to be hated…"

"She doesn't hate you, Buffy. But she doesn't like you very much right now. You not only cost her that, but …well, Xander …"

"What about Xander?"

"She and Xander are kind of on the outs right now. You see, there's a history between Willow and Cordelia… this isn't the first time Cordelia's hurt her…" Oz very briefly explains about the night at Cordelia's party, and what happened. "… it took a long time for her to get over that… a long time. Xander stuck with her through it all, and it hurt him a lot, to see her hurting like that. When he found out she was seeing Cordelia again, he pretty much washed his hands of her… said if she was stupid enough to … anyway, they haven't spoken since… and she's had to go through this whole thing pretty much by herself…"

"What about you? Aren't you her friend?"

"I was away with the band, Buffy. I didn't get back until last night. I only found out then…"

She looks at Oz, and it hits her.

"You knew. You knew who I was before you sat down, didn't you?"

Oz nods.

"And you knew what I'd done to Willow, and you still … why?" Buffy's tone gets an edge. "Don't you hate me, too? Everyone else does…"

"You're still not getting it. Willow doesn't hate you. She asked me to come over, because she saw what happened to you. She was worried about you… thought you might need someone to talk to…" Oz again almost smiles. "So, do you?"

Buffy sits slumped in her chair, not really looking at him.

"I'm pretty much a shit heel, aren't I? A total bitch." She stares at the table. "Pretty useless, right?"

"No, I don't think so. Selfish, yeah. Thoughtless, pretty much. Self involved? Definitely. But none of those are fatal; you can probably get over it."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better? It didn't work."

"No, not really."

"Good, I don't deserve to feel better," Buffy mutters. She looks up at him, and smiles ruefully. "You better scoot. Probably don't want to be seen with me."

"You don't like me?"

"No, I do, actually. Trying to save your reputation, is all. Unless you don't want to be liked around here."

Oz shrugs. "I pretty much hang out with whoever I want. Never really cared what other people thought of me, one way or another."

Buffy looks at him like he just landed from another universe. "How do you do that?"

"Practice. Lots and lots of practice," he grins. "Maybe if I'd practiced as much on my guitar, I'd be better at it."

Again, Buffy can't restrain the smile. "You're a goof, you know?"

"I guess."

"Look, thanks for everything, but you better go, you know? I'll be ok."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." That's a lie. Buffy is three counties over from sure.

"Ok," Oz gets up, picking up his tray. "But just a tip. You might not want to throw away friends too easily. You don't have that many left, you know?"

He turns, and starts to walk away.

Buffy suddenly finds herself very, very much alone.

"Wait! Oz!"

Oz stops and turns back around.

"Uhhh… walk me to class?"

"Sure."

Buffy picks up her tray, and hurries to catch up with him.

6

"Yes, dear. I've got it," Chief Romero says patiently into the phone. "Yes, I wrote it down."

He sighs to himself, smiling. _You'd think after 25 years of marriage, Maria would trust me enough now to pick up some stuff from the store without a 3rd degree. Yikes!_

"Yes, I'm pretty sure I'll be home on time. Things are pretty quiet around here. Mmmm hmmm…" He says, listening as his wife reels off some more instructions. "Yes, positive. I promise. Yes… no…"

He glances up when he hears a soft knock at the door. _Thank god! I love Maria, but sometimes…_

"Honey, I have to go. Someone's at my door. Yes. I love you too. Yes… goodbye…" the Chief listens, a broad smile coming over his face. "No, chica, I love you more… yes… goodbye…" He hangs up the phone.

He smiles at the phone for a moment, and then the knock is repeated.

"Come in."

The door opens, and Faith McKerrigan enters the room, looking a little nervous. She walks over to the chief's desk, and stands, clasping her hands in front of herself.

It takes a few seconds for the chief to put a name to the face, but then he smiles.

"Ms. McKerrigan. It's good to see you again. How are you?" The chief stands, offering his hand.

Faith takes it, and grasps it firmly, returning the greeting.

"Doin' ok, Chief," Faith smiles, immediately feeling some of her nervousness dissipate. "So, did you hear? They commuted my sentence," she cracks, smiling.

"Yes, I did," the chief chuckles, waving at a chair in front of his desk. "Sit, please."

He sits down as soon as Faith takes a seat.

"I'm really glad to hear the Regents reviewed your case. I heard someone came forward in your favor?" He looks out of the corner of his eye. "Was it the girl? The one you helped that night?"

"No… uh, she wanted to, but like I said it wouldn't have helped my case… no, believe it or not, it was the other one… the brunette?" She grins. "The other brunette… the one at the party?"

"Brunette? Oh, you mean the one we questioned at the party?" He looks at her with a strange expression. "How did that happen?"

"Oh, well …" Faith really doesn't want to recount the incident at the Butterfly's heart for the chief. _He probably wouldn't like I was planning to make her my personal punching dummy_…" I ran into her after, and after we… discussed it, she saw the error of her ways…"

The chief is immediately suspicious. "Ms. McKerrigan, you didn't coerce her, did you? That would be looked at rather dimly…"

"No! Hell no…" _Though, I did want to 'persuade her' just a little…_ "I just talked at her, and then some others talked at her…and well…" She shrugs. "I guess she decided what she did was wrong, you know?"

"Well, I'm glad she came forward…" The chief knows something's being held back, but he really doesn't want to know about it. "So, anyway, I hear you've been reinstated? Without prejudice, as I understand?"

"Yes, sir. Actually…" Faith bites her lip, "Kinda why I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"Well, I'm kinda thinking over about wanting to come back to school here, and … aw, geeze, can I just be honest here?"

"Please…"

"Well, you see, the family I've been staying with… I'm not living with them anymore… "

"I'm sorry to hear that," Chief Romero replies. " did something happen?"

"Uhhh… we kinda didn't see eye to eye on some things, and well… look, it's kinda personal…"

"Ok, so how can I help, then?"

"Well, I'm needing to like get a small place to stay, and that requires I've got something like a job, and well…"

"You were wondering if something might be open?" The Chief cocks his head.

"Yeah…" Faith looks a little embarrassed. "I mean, I suppose I could get another bartending job or something, but I was hoping I wouldn't have to do that again. I mean, I got nothing against people drinkin'… look, I just kinda tired of having to smile at mean drunks, and frankly, I'm not wanting to do that again. And…"She shrugs. "Kinda hoping I could find something here on campus…" She looks directly into his face. "I just want to do something better, you know? I figure … I can do better than that. I've had all the crappy jobs in bars and stuff and I want… more…"

"So, you figured being a rent-a- cop would better?" Chief Romero watches her reaction.

"I didn't say… I mean, I don't think…"

"Ms. McKerrigan, I know very well what most of the students think about the Campus police…"

"Oh…" Faith thinks a second, then looks up. "Look, Chief. I'm not from around here, ya know? I'm from Boston, and there we gotta whole different attitude towards cops…er, police. I won't say I was like, a goody two shoes, and I had my share of scrapes, but I always…well, mostly… respected the cops, you know? And I'm like clean… never been arrested… don't have a record or nothing, and I'd work really hard…and what's so funny?"

The chief has started laughing, holding up his hand. "Whoa up, girl. I didn't say you couldn't be one, or anything, I just wanted to see your reaction." His expression turns serious. "Look, Faith, I'm not going to BS you. It's not a great job, the pay isn't great, there _are_ benefits, but it can get bad sometimes. And, you'd have to go through a training program. You can't just walk off the street and be a cop…or even a security guard. And you have to be licensed by the state…"

"Oh. So I'm kinda taking that as a no, then?" Faith starts to stand up.

"Wait. Sit down…" the chief waves her back down. "You're in such a hurry, Ms. McKerrigan…"

"Faith."

"Faith, then. Don't be so impatient, ok?" Chief Romero says kindly. "I'm just telling you you're going to have to work a little to become part of the Campus Police force. And I need to tell you, I don't have any openings for a field officer right at the moment…"

"So, it really _is_ no, then?"

"No, it's a maybe. Look, I don't have place for an officer, and you're not trained. But I do have an opening for a night dispatcher. You don't need any real training; you just need to pass the exam. And it's not that hard, believe me. It's just to weed out the idiots." He looks at her intently. "Basically, you'd be answering calls and dispatching the patrol guys out to where they need to be. What do you think?"

"I can do that…" Faith nods, "But I kind of wanted…"

"Ok, let me finish?"

"Yes, sir. Sorry."

"Well, you seem eager enough," Chief Romero chuckles. "Look, I didn't plan on keeping you there. It's basically to get your foot in the door, and let you get a taste of what the work is like. You're planning on being here for a few years, right?"

"Yeah…well… if I don't screw up or they don't kick me out again…"

"I don't think that'll happen," he says simply. "I think you can handle the dispatcher's job… and later, over the summer, when you're out of class, you can go for training. It's a 6 week course, and after, you're tested and get certified. So, by next fall, you'd be on patrol. How's that?"

"It sounds… you really mean it?"

"Yes, I really mean it," He nods.

"So, when can I start?" Faith asks, a little eagerly.

"You have to take the test first. I'll arrange with my assistant for a time to administer the test. Are you free tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yes, sir!"

The chief has to chuckle to himself. He knows for a fact that a good portion of Faith's enthusiasm is about getting the job, and impressing him. He'd like to tell her to relax, he's already impressed by her. _Anyway, a little enthusiasm never hurts._

"Hold on one moment."

The chief picks up his phone, dials a number, and consults with his assistant.

"Are you free tomorrow afternoon at 3 p.m., Faith?"

"Absolutely. I'll be here…"

"Ok, ok!" He holds up a hand. He talks into the phone, then replaces the receiver. "Ok, tomorrow at 3 p.m. Bring a number two pencil, your driver's license and social security card. Oh, and …" he reaches into his drawer, pulling out a pad of applications. He tears off a sheet. "Fill this out completely, ok?" He hands her an application.

"You got it, Chief." She stands up. "Thank you."

"You don't have the job yet, Faith."

"I know, I know, but thanks…" She smiles, clutching the application. "You won't be sorry."

_I suspect I won't._

"Oh, one more thing," The chief takes his pad, and writes something on it. "Are you still looking for a place to live?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ok, call the number on this note, and talk to Antonia. That's my sister. She has a room… it's not much, really, just a converted garage, but she rents it out cheap to student. Well, ones I send over, anyway. She'll give you the address and everything. Just tell her I recommended you…"

Faith bites her lip, looking at the note. She looks up, smiling warmly. "Thanks, chief. I really don't know what to say…"

He gives her his patented hard look.

"Just don't make me sorry I recommended you, ok?"

"I won't. I promise!" Faith turns and starts for the door, then turns back. "Thanks, thanks for everything. I really mean it."

Chief Romero just smiles at her, and Faith leaves, closing the door behind her.

He leans back in his chair, and putting his hands behind his head, turns and looks out of his office window at the campus. He smiles.

"You know what? I think I'll pick up some carnations for Maria. She really loves carnations."

He nods to himself, feeling pretty pleased with himself at the moment.

7

"Uggh," Buffy moans, closing her locker and lifting her backpack up on her shoulder. Hitching it up over her back, she makes her way towards the school entrance.

Buffy is in pain; emotionally and physically. Today has _not_ been her day.

Things after lunch didn't get any better; if anything, they got worse.

She had a pop quiz in History, which she's pretty sure she tanked on.

In her next class, Chemistry, somebody played a trick on her, messing up her lab experiment. Needless to say, the teacher wasn't at all pleased when she combined her ingredients, causing a rather foul odor of rotten eggs to spread through the room.

_And of course, he didn't believe I didn't do it intentionally. So, on top of everything else? Detention for the rest of the week. Sweet, just sweet._

And of course, Harmony was there, along with Cordelia, giving her disapproving looks. _Like I'd done it on purpose!_

The worst, the absolute worst, however, was cheerleading practice.

As promised(or threatened), Cordelia assigned her to Harmony to catch up on the routine. Despite her misgivings, she didn't want to give Cordelia any excuses to boot her off the team. So, she didn't argue, but paired up with Harmony over away from where the rest of the cheerleaders were practicing.

The malicious gleam in Harmony's eyes gave her a chill.

"Gee, Buffy, we better get you warmed up first. I mean, you've been gone like a week…" Harmony crossed her arms over her chest.

"I was out 3 days, Harmony."

"Whatever… don't want you to like, strain a muscle or something, you know. Maybe you should take… oh… 10 laps around the gym." Harmony smiled. It wasn't a particularly nice smile.

Buffy looked around the gym, which was rather large. "10 laps? Isn't that a bit much? How is that going to help me with the routine?"

"Well, Buffy, if you don't want to do the work, you're free to leave. But before you start doing a routine, I want you warmed up…" Harmony looked at her watch. "You better get going. I don't have all day, you know."

Buffy was being had, and she knew it. She also knew if she didn't run, she could forget the team.

Sighing, she took off.

It only got worse from there. After her little jog around the gym, Harmony put her through a variety of aerobic and anaerobic exercises, " to stretch you out and get you breathing…" Harmony again gave her one of the hyena like smiles.

Buffy gritted her teeth, and went through the routine, as Harmony sat back and watched her. When Buffy finished one, Harmony would call out exercise to run through.

_Not going to quit. Not going to quit,_ Buffy thought, as she felt her lungs burn and her sides hitch. _She's not gonna make me quit._

By the time she was done, she was panting, and covered in a sheen of sweat. She half walked, half stumbled over to Harmony.

"Ok," Buffy whispered, panting for breath. "I'm warm. Now what?"

"Gee, Buffy. You really are outta shape," Harmony chided her, shaking her head. "Maybe if you spent more time working out and less time fighting and getting in trouble… but, oh well. Come on, follow me."

Harmony strode across the floor, leading Buffy to yet another part of the gym.

Buffy glared at her as she walked ahead. Fantasies of tying up Harmony and dipping her in a vat of boiling oil wandered through her head. _One of these days, I'm gonna kill that … just chill. Just get through it…_

"Well, come on, Buffy. Clock's ticking. Tick tock."

_Maybe today…_

"Ok, now watch carefully. Then you do it, ok, and I'll watch you."

Buffy nods, not wanting to waste her breath on Harmony.

Harmony stepped quickly through a rather complicated routine, involving intricate dance steps followed by a double reverse flip, winding up in a split, arms raised. She raised herself into a standing position.

_Gotta give her props. She did that really well._

"Ok, Buffy, your turn."

Buffy stared at her like she's crazy.

"What're you talking about, Harm? You didn't break that down for me. How'm I supposed to do that after seeing it once?"

"Oh, c'mon, Buffy. It's not like it's the first time you've ever done a routine, is it?" Harmony smirked at her. "Or maybe you just don't have what it takes?" Harmony cocks her head. "What do you say, Buff?"

"I say you're…" Buffy spotted Cordelia watching them, and bites back the rest of what she was gonna say. "… right, I guess. Let me try it…"

"Thatta girl," Harmony nodded. _Oh, this should be good._

Buffy took a few to remember Harmony's performance, then taking a deep breath, threw herself into it.

Buffy knew almost at once that she was off. Her feet just didn't go where they were supposed to, and her turns were late and out of sync.

"No, Buffy, right… not left… right," Harmony called out, shaking her head. "Weren't you watching me at all?"

Buffy took a step, launches into the first back flip, and knew she was really in trouble. Her feet didn't land like they should've to launch her into the second flip. Despite that, she tried to force herself into it, only to land belly down on the gym floor. She lay there, exhausted and hurting.

"That was…pathetic, Buffy."

Buffy didn't even want to look at her. Instead, she lays there, staring at Harmony's shoes.

"Well, are you going to lay there all day, Buffy?"

Buffy fought back an urge to use the last of her strength to grab Harmony by the ankles and knock her on her ass. _Won't do any good, and only get you booted off the team. Calm, remain calm, she's just a moron…_

"Well, Harm. How's our girl doing?" Another set of shoes join Harmony's as Buffy groans, pushing herself up off the floor.

_Oh, great. Cordelia!_

"God, Cor, where did you get her? She can't even do a simple double back flip without…" Harmony held out her hands at Buffy. " I don't think she's ever going to learn it."

"It was my first shot at it, Harmony," Buffy said, still on her hands and knees. "And maybe if you'd taken the time to break down the routine, I …"

"Oh, you're such a liar! I showed you how to do it." Harmony made a face. "I can't help it you're too dense to get it…"

"Too dense? You run through it at top speed, and I'm supposed to just…"

"Buffy, that's enough!" Cordelia cut her off. "You're the one that's been out. Harmony was good enough to volunteer to help you catch up, and you give her grief?" Cordelia crosses her arms over her chest, giving Buffy a stern look.

"I… I'm not…I'm really not…" Buffy protested. "I'm trying here, but she's not even…"

"I really don't want to hear it, Buffy. I dunno…" Cordelia shook her head. "I put you on the squad because I thought you had something. But all I've seen so far is 'tude and trouble." She turns to Harmony. "What do you think, Harm?"

Harmony shrugged. "It's your choice, Cordelia. Personally, I'd boot her bony butt off the team."

Buffy can feel the whoosh of the axe as it passes by her neck.

"Please, Cordelia. I'll do better. I'll work harder… just give me another chance."

Cordelia stared at her with a stone face. But inside, she's doing a dance. _Got you just where I want you now, you stuck up little …_

"I think you're done for today, Buffy. I think you really better do some thinking about where you want to be. In with the squad…" She waved her arms towards the group,"… or in loserville. Hit the showers, and I better see some better performance out of you tomorrow… or…" She trails off, letting Buffy finish it in her mind.

"Yeah, loser, hit the showers. Scrub real good and maybe you can get rid of that stench of loser you got!"

Buffy felt gutted. She stared at the two of them frowning at her, and she turned, heading for the showers. She didn't see the low five they gave each other. But she did hear the titters and jeers from the rest of the squad. She burned a deep red blush.

Standing here now, remembering her day, all she wants to do is crawl under the nearest rock and pull it in after her. She starts down the stairs, towards the gate and away from this hell called High School.

_Maybe I got this coming. I know I've been a total bitch towards everyone. Guess I'm just getting my own back. I hate it here, god I just want to run so far away no one'll ever find me. Never know me. I just wanna disappear so bad…_

_Everything is wrong! Everything I'm doing is wrong. I don't know what to do. I gotta fix it, though. I gotta make it right… somehow, I've got to make it all like it was again. I can do that. I know I can do that… it's going to be ok again, I know it. It will be ok…_

"Buffy?"

Buffy looks up, and at first she doesn't recognize who's talking to her. A little bit of fear is reflected in her eyes.

"Oz?" Relief washes over her face.

"Hey, right on one. Hey," Oz smiles, walking over to her. "Just getting out?"

"Yeah…"

"You look kinda… rough. You ok?"

"Huh?" Buffy kind of pulls it together, beaming a smile. "Oh, yeah. Well, rough cheerleading practice. Really worked my butt off today."

"Oh," Oz nods.

"So, how come you're still here? I figured you'd be long gone after the last bell rang."

"Normally I would. But I've got detention."

"That blows," Buffy grins ruefully. "Me too, starting tomorrow."

"So… ummm…" Oz hesitates, a little shyly. "I was wondering… would you… how about we go to the Espresso Pump, maybe get something?"

"Are you asking me for a date, Mr. Osborne?" Buffy smiles. She unconsciously primps a little.

"Not a date, really," Oz shrugs. "Maybe more a get together. A date's kind of formal. This is more casual."

"Oh," Buffy nods, knowingly without a clue. "So, you don't want to date me then?" She teases.

"Well, hadn't thought we'd gotten there yet," Oz looks at her. "So, what do you say?"

Buffy makes a face. "I'd really, really love to. But I can't. Kinda on restriction. Ok, no kinda about it. I'm on restriction. Sorta can't … do anything fun right now."

"Bummer," Oz commiserates. "but it's cool. So how long are you on restriction?"

"If my mom had her way? Til I was 30 or so… but I think a couple of weeks. She really hated me getting suspended."

"Yeah, moms are like that." Oz nods. "So, see you around then?"

"Yeah…" Buffy moves closer "Ask me when I'm not on restriction?"

"Sure," Oz smiles, "I'd like that."

"Me too," Buffy says, realizing the truth of it as she says it. "I'd really like that too." She beams another smile.

"So, later then…" Oz starts down the steps, holding his hand up in a wave. "gotta motor. Late for practice…"

"Later…" Buffy holds up her hand. She smiles, and shakes her head. _So not my type… still, what is my type, really? But he's really kinda cute… in a geeky way…_

"Buffy?"

Buffy, startled, looks around to see Hank standing at the gate. She runs down the steps, and hugs him tightly.

"Dad! Hi!"

"Hi, baby," Hank returns the hug. He hears her wince. "you ok?"

"Oh, yeah. Just fine. Just had a really hard workout at practice today," Buffy says. "So, what're you doing here?"

"Do I need a reason to see my favorite daughter?"

"N-No…of course not," Buffy smiles. "Just didn't expect to see you so soon."

"I'm living here now, Buffy. Getting an apartment as soon as I can find one."

"That's so cool," Buffy gives him another hug.

"So, what do you say? Still drinking mochas? Want to go with your old dad and get one?"

"I can't, dad. I'm on restriction." Buffy pouts a little. "I gotta get home."

"Oh, c'mon. Just a coffee. We can talk ."

Buffy looks undecided.

"I'll smooth it over with your mom, don't worry."

_Well, heck, why not? It's my dad, right? What's so important for me to rush home for, anyway? No one wants me there, anyway!_

"Yeah, sure, dad. Ok, that'd be nice." She slips her arm through his. "Lead on."

They walk to the car, and Hank pauses as he opens the door.

"Who was that boy I saw you talking to?"

"What boy?"

"The boy? On the steps? With the kinda weird hair?"

"OH! Oz. Yeah, he's … he's just a friend."

"He's not your boyfriend, then?"

"Uh… no, not a boyfriend. I mean, he's a boy, and a friend…"

"Got it," Hank cuts her off. "I'm kind of glad he's just a friend."

"Oh?"

"Well, I'm sure he's a nice guy and all, but…"

"What?"

"Well, he … he's got that weird hair. And what did it say on his t-shirt? "Dingoes at my baby"? And, he's got an earring. Kind of … I don't know. Just doesn't seem your type."

Buffy gives her dad a strange look. " You sound a little jealous."

"What? Don't be absurd, Buffy. Just protective of my daughter."

A slightly strange look comes into Buffy's eyes. She smiles, almost like a china doll.

"No worries, daddy. You know there's no one I love more than you."

Hank smiles, and opens the door.

To be continued.


	21. Chapter 21

Fic:Change of Season (19/?) Joyce/Faith R

Disclaimer: Same as it ever was. Joss owns all. i'm just playin'

Feedback:Yeah

A/N: I know this has veered away from Joyce/Faith as a romantic  
pairing but stick with me they will be together, maybe.

A change of seasons, Chapter 19

1

"So, what do you think?"

The tall man accompanying Joyce at the Gallery walks over to the  
painting for a closer inspection. He stares at the canvas intently,  
leaning in to observe the detail work of the painting, making some  
sounds deep in his throat. He then turns, and walks a number of  
paces back, and turns back to the painting, hands behind his back. He  
takes a long look at the work, cocking his head left and right from  
time to time. Finally, he reaches into the breast pocket of his three  
piece suit and retrieves a handkerchief. Removing his gold colored  
wire framed glasses, he cleans them while appearing to think.

"Disturbing," Rupert Giles says, returning his glasses to his nose,  
and his handkerchief to his breast pocket. "Very disturbing."

"I'm sorry?" Joyce looks at him. "Is something wrong?"

"No, actually I meant that as a compliment. The painting is obviously  
a genuine Georges Zelle. His work is always somewhat… disturbing…"  
Mr. Giles frowns deeply. "I'll take it… and the smaller piece, also."

"Excellent," Joyce smiles, walking over to him. "I think you've made  
an excellent choice. I know for a fact that Mr. Zelle considers this  
a signature work, and he gave me quite a time as to its placement in  
the gallery. It took some convincing to make him see that this was  
not an appropriate piece for the general gallery."

"I hear he can be quite…" Mr. Giles seems to search for the  
appropriate word, "… difficult. But then, that's rather reflected in  
his work…" He waves at the large canvas before him. "A blending if  
you will of the bizarre and somewhat surreal combined with an almost  
childlike innocence… with an almost morbid twist." He nods  
appreciatively. "Though my particular line of study is medieval texts  
and history, I find the Neo post modernist nihilists to be rather  
fascinating, don't you?"

"You seem to be quite knowledgeable on the subject," Joyce says  
approvingly. "Most of my clients are looking for something to go with  
their drapes."

"I've been following Mr. Zelle's career for some time now, and I'm  
very pleased to finally obtain some of his works. I think this will  
go well on my study wall by the Fenner, and the smaller one will be  
perfect in my office at the University…" he turns and smiles at  
Joyce. "I'm very happy you were able to arrange for me to meet Mr.  
Zelle, too. He is quite the character…"

"Oh, I agree, " Joyce chuckles, "I could tell you some stories about  
our Mr. Zelle…"

"Indeed?" Giles places his hand lightly on Joyce's arm. "I would find  
that rather fascinating…"

"Excuse me, Mr. … Giles, was it?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Excuse me, Mr. Giles, but much as I would love to gossip about  
Georges with you, I'm afraid I'm rather pressed for time at the  
moment…"

"Oh, of course. I wouldn't dream of taking up your time during  
business hours," Giles smiles charmingly at her. "I suppose I was  
asking you if you would have dinner with me, and we could chat then.  
Though of course, I made a rather botched job of it…."

"I'm sorry," Joyce, a little puzzled, stares at her client. "Did you  
ask me to dinner?"

"Yes, though I fear I did it rather poorly," Giles says self  
deprecatingly. "I'm rather out of practice. Did I do it wrong?"

"No," Joyce chuckles, in spite of herself. "I'm just rather  
surprised. I've just met you…"

"Ah, yes, there is that," Giles nods agreeably. "However, you strike  
me as a rather intelligent, attractive woman that I would like to get  
to know better. I really must seem a bit odd to you…"

Joyce smiles.

"… but I've always been a little eccentric. At least, that's what my  
friends and family tell me. I tend to bull right through and get to  
the meat of things, rather than playing by the rules…"

"Rules?" Joyce is getting more puzzled, and oddly charmed, by the  
minute.

"Yes, you know. We should know each other for scads of months, or  
years, and then finally I get around to asking you out, by which time  
you're thoroughly as comfortable with me as with an old slipper."

Joyce raises both eyebrows.

"However, I do find myself with somewhat of a dilemma …"

"You do? A dilemma?" She smiles again.

"Well, yes. You see, I'm only a guest lecturer at UC Sunnydale, on  
loan to their History department, so to speak. I'll probably only be  
here … oh… a semester, two at the outside, and I fear that doesn't  
give us lots of time to waste going through the usual rituals. So, as  
you Americans would say, I thought I'd just cut to the chase and ask  
you out."

"I see. Well… hmmm…" Joyce's smile becomes perhaps a bit  
fixed. "Could you excuse me for a moment? I'd like to see to the  
delivery of your purchase."

"Oh dear. I fear I've offended you!" Giles gets a slightly worried  
look on his face. "I did mention I'm rather out of practice… I  
haven't dated much since my divorce… or well, actually, for rather a  
long time before it, to be quite frank…"

"You're divorced?"

"Yes, rather. For a year now, or a little more. My wife, a  
microbiologist, rather developed a fondness for young men…" Mr. Giles  
looks a bit discombobulated, " … young men with a rather  
overabundance of muscles with names like Bruno and Mark and Peter…"

Joyce smiles sympathetically, placing a hand on his arm. "I know what  
you mean. I'm in the process of getting divorced, too. Henry seems to  
keep trading me in for younger, firmer models…" She shrugs.

"Well, I must say, this Henry chap sounds rather like a burke…" Giles  
says Henry with some distaste.

"A Burke?"

"I'm sorry. A colloquial. It means roughly, idiot."

"That's rather charitable of you. He's actually a womanizing… ok,  
never mind that. I think I was seeing to the delivery of your  
purchases." Joyce pulls herself back to business. "Could you excuse  
me?"

Before he can actually reply, Joyce almost launches herself across  
the gallery. She stops briefly at Taylor's desk.

"Could you see that Mr. Giles' purchases are packed up and delivered  
to this address?" Joyce hands Taylor a slip of paper.

"Sure, Joyce, no problem, " Taylor looks at her closely. "Are you all  
right? You seem a bit…flustered."

"What? No! I mean… it's just a rather large sale. It's… amazing…"  
Joyce smiles, definitely flustered.

"Uh-huh…" Taylor looks around Joyce at Rupert Giles. "He is rather  
cute…"

"I'm sorry?" Joyce looks at Taylor a little sternly.

"Well, I mean, if you like older guys. He…"

"I don't think we're going to rate our customers on their… cute  
factor? He's just another customer. A rather generous one at that."

"Right," Taylor takes the hint and turns back to her computer screen.

Joyce gazes across the gallery, looking at Rupert Giles as he stands  
casually inspecting the artwork.

Cute? I don't know. I mean, he is charming, that's for sure. What  
would my mother call it? Oh yeah, silver tongued. Definitely a  
charmer… but cute? Hmmm… he does have that aristocratic thing going  
for him, and he does sort of have a Laurence Olivier thing going… Oh  
for goodness sakes, Joyce, stop it! You're still married… well, sort  
of, and never mind you're in a serious relationship with another  
woman…

Yeah, and that's going so well… not! She walked out on you… ok, to be  
honest, you probably drove her to it. But you still love her, right?  
Well, yeah, I do… but maybe that isn't going to work out. That was  
her whole theme, wasn't it? It's not going to work out…

What are you doing? He didn't ask to marry you. He didn't even really  
ask for a date. It's just dinner… for goodness sakes, what's the harm  
in that? Not like it's going to lead to anything. He's just being…  
what? Nice? Is that so foreign to you that you can't recognize it?  
Gee… just go for it. Do it. I mean, I'm pretty sure Faith isn't  
sitting around, mooning for me. She's probably moved on, you know?

And anyway, it's not anything romantic. Just dinner. Two … what?  
Friends? No, we don't know each other that well… acquaintances….  
Right. Acquaintances… colleagues, even, in a way… having dinner.  
Where's the harm in that? And hey, this might lead to more sales. So,  
it's really just a business dinner. There you go. A business dinner.  
Just something I'd do with any client, male or female. Ok then. Ok.

"Joyce?" Taylor sits, holding out the invoice to Joyce. "Hello, Earth  
to Joyce." Her eyes follow Joyce's. "Ahhh."

"Mmmm? Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Yeah, I bet you were," Taylor smirks knowingly.

"Taylor…!" There's a warning note in Joyce's voice.

"Sorry!" She hands Joyce the invoice. "Just… he's rather hot…"

"You think he's hot?"

"Oh yeah. I mean, look at him! Tall, looks like a Duke or something,  
has that sexy British accent, obviously rich…"

"How do you figure that?"

"Excuse me? That's a two thousand dollar Luciano Barbera suit he's  
wearing, and he wears it like casual stuff. Never mind he spent…" She  
looks at her computer screen " 85,000 dollars with us. I'm thinking  
he's not hurting for the money…"

"Well, that's besides the point. The point is, he's a customer…"

"Yeah, and he seems to have the hots for you…"

"WHAT?!?!"

"Well, when you were leading him around, he was following you like a  
puppy, and then he's like checking you out…"

"He was not checking me out!"

"Oh please, Joyce, give me a break. He was so checking you out. He  
was practically drooling…"

Joyce blushes scarlet.

"I really need to find more for you to do if all you have to do is  
come up with ridiculous ideas like that…" Joyce shakes her  
head. "He's a client, and that's all."

"Ok, just… well, he did ask me if you were married…"

Joyce groans.

"I'm thinking, he's interested."

"And I'm thinking, we should keep our minds on business."

"Ok, just saying…"

"Thank you, Taylor, that'll be enough…" Joyce walks over to where  
Rupert is standing, and hands him the invoice.

"Here you go, Mr. Giles…"

"Rupert, please…"

"Rupert, "Joyce smiles. "I've arranged to have your paintings  
delivered. If you need assistance hanging your new artwork, I can  
arrange to have someone assist you…"

"No, I haven't decided if I'll be displaying the artwork here or back  
home…" He neatly folds the invoice and slips it in his coat  
pocket. "After all, I'm merely a guest lecturer here, and my term is  
limited…"

"Oh. So, you'll be returning to England then?"

"Well, they have offered me a full time position here. Chair of the  
Medieval History studies in the Humanities school. I just haven't  
decided if I want to take it or not."

"Sounds … prestigious."

"It does, doesn't it?" Rupert smiles, "Though, pompous also comes to  
mind."

Joyce laughs. "Well, I suppose so… still, it's quite an offer. You  
must be quite the professor."

"It's the British thing. You yanks have a penchant for all things  
English, it seems. Frankly, I'm only a junior professor at Cambridge…"

"Cambridge?" Joyce nods. "Impressive."

"Believe me, Ms. Summers, it sounds much more impressive than it is.  
And I have to admit, I do enjoy your California sunshine… rather nice  
after the 3 week summers we have in Britain. Still, it's home…"

"Sounds like you have some thinking to do…"

"I suppose I do," Giles agrees, "I venture it all comes down to  
whether I find a compelling reason to stay." He looks pointedly at  
Joyce.

Joyce feels a warm blush creeping up her neck.

"So, was there anything else we could do for you today, Mr. Giles,"  
Joyce tries to swing the conversation back to business. "Since you  
like Zelle so much, I do have some other pieces that might interest  
you…"

"Actually, there is something you could do for me," Giles lays a hand  
on her arm. "You could answer my query from before."

"I'm sorry," Joyce feigns ignorance while pulling her arm  
away. "Query?"

"About dinner? Would you be kind enough to share a meal with me?"

"Oh, right. About that. Right now, things are kind of complicated  
with me…"

"Yes, of course," Giles immediately retreats. "Your divorce. I wasn't  
thinking… I should've been more…"

"Wait a minute, let me finish please, first," Joyce puts up a  
hand. "I was just saying that I'll need to make some arrangements,  
but I'd be happy to join you for dinner… maybe towards the end of the  
week?"

"That would be brilliant. However, if things are a little difficult  
right now, I don't want to make things more complicated…"

Joyce chuckles, to Giles' confusion. "I really don't think that would  
be possible," she explains, seeing his puzzled look. "Why don't you  
give me a call later this week, and we can firm up plans then?"

"Yes, of course, that would be…" he stops, and seems  
hesitate, "You're sure, now? I don't want to make things difficult  
for you. We can always…"

"Believe me, it would be nice to have a meal with an adult without  
the angst and … it would just be very nice." She places her hand on  
his sleeve. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Ah, yes, well…" some of Giles' sophistication slips, and for a  
moment Joyce glimpses a small boy not used to getting what he wants,  
and being quite taken aback that he has. "… Thursday, then, I'll call  
you on Thursday…?"

He starts away, towards the exit, stops, and turns back.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to get a phone number…?" He seems a little  
embarrassed.

Even more than by his gentlemanliness and sophistication, Joyce is  
charmed by this slightly less sure, more discombobulated Giles. She  
smiles, and walking over to a table, picks up a pen and tablet. She  
writes something down, and tears off the sheet.

"Here you go," She walks back to Giles, handing him the note. "I can  
usually be reached there after 6…"

"Thank you again," He pockets the note, and for a moment, stands  
there awkwardly. " Well, I guess I should be off. I'll ring you up  
Thursday." He turns, and almost hurries to the exit, as if to leave  
before Joyce can change her mind.

Joyce watches him go, with some amusement. She shakes her head at the  
wonderment of it. Men can be so easy sometimes… She turns to see  
Taylor looking at her, with a slightly triumphant look on her face.

All right, Ms. Smarty pants, you called it… this time… Joyce knows  
she's going to hear about this for awhile.

"Have you taken care of the Simpson order like I requested?" Joyce  
says, in passing, playing it cool. "Let me know when you have it  
ready. I want to review it before it goes out."

She walks on by, towards her office. " I'll be in my office." She  
says over her shoulder.

Taylor watches her, a little knowing smile on her face. She then  
turns and heads towards the back.

2

With variables, constants, rational and irrational numbers dancing  
through her head, Dawn exits algebra, turning left .

She's on a mission

I know a couple of irrational numbers Dawn thinks, as she makes her  
way down the hall. This is totally stupid, it's not going to work.  
I've done stupid things in the past, but this is gotta be close to  
the top of the stupid.

Letting out a sigh, she weaves her way through the crowd, heading for  
a particular classroom. Growing a bit impatient, afraid she'll be  
late, she ducks and pushes her way against the tide heading for lunch.

Still, as stupid as this is, I can't just let this go on. Someone's  
gotta fix it, and dammit, guess who's stuck doing it?. I hate this!

She's so focused on getting where she's going and not being late, she  
almost runs over her objective.

"Whoa, Dawn!" Willow ducks out of the way as Dawn nearly runs her  
over. "Gotta say, you're really doing good with the bulldozing there.  
Maybe you should try out for the football team. I hear they could use  
a couple of good defensive linemen."

Dawn stands there, looking at her with a frown on her face,  
punctuated by a furrowed brow.

"That's supposed to be funny, right? You think that's funny?"

"Well, yes… what's the dire, Dawn? You look like you just swallowed a  
really nasty lemon. C'mon, spill, what's … HEY!"

Dawn grabs Willow's arm, and before she can finish babbling, she  
starts pulling her along. Willow tries to put on the brakes.

"What's going on? Where you dragging me? Are you going to say  
anything to me? Dawn! Stop!"

Dawn just silently barrels on, pushing through the crowd, heading for  
the school Quad. Willow, dragged along, constantly shifting her  
books in an attempt not to drop them, just totters along after, still  
trying to put a halt to this two man parade and get to the bottom of  
things.

Geeze. I know Buffy's crazy, but I thought Dawn was at least normal.  
Maybe the wacky runs in the family.

"Dawn, c'mon. Will you please tell me what's this is all about? I  
really don't like being dragged like a doll through school and, a  
side note? You're hurting my arm. So just let me go…"

And then, it becomes all too clear what this is all about to Willow  
as Dawn makes a beeline for a particular bench at the south end of  
the quad.

A bench where Xander Harris is sitting.

"Hey, Dawn I thought you… whoa. What's she doing here?"

"What's going on?" Willow finally shakes Dawn off, standing a few  
yards away. "Why did you drag me here to HIM?" Willow stands back  
and crosses her arms over her chest. She doesn't look at all pleased.

"Hey, if she's gonna be here, I'm outta here," Xander stands up,  
picking up his lunch. "I've got nothing to say to HER!" He starts to  
leave.

"Alexander Lavelle Harris, you sit your butt down right now, or I'm  
breaking up with you!" Dawn says, forcefully. She turns on  
Willow. "And you too. Park your butt right there!" She points at the  
bench recently vacated by Xander.

"Excuse me! You're not boss of me!" Willow and Xander say in unison.  
They look at each other, then turn away, deliberately not looking at  
each other.

"Well, somebody needs to be, because the two of you are acting like  
spoiled brats. Sit down," Dawn commands, crossing her own arms. "NOW!"

Taken aback, both sit, almost on command.

"All right, listen up," Dawn says, starting to pace in front of the  
two former best friends. "This has got to stop. I'm tired of it, and  
frankly, I'm tired of one or the other of you making me feel guilty  
being with the other. My best friend fighting with my boyfriend is  
making me CRAZY!"

Both sit, like chastened children, hands in lap and neither looking  
directly at Dawn, or each other. Both have a slightly petulant look  
on their faces.

"So, whatcha got to say for yourselves?" She looks from one to the  
other. "Well?"

Willow shrugs. "I've got nothing."

"Me either," Xander concurs. "I guess there's nothing to say, Dawn."

"That's it? You're going to sit there and tell me you've got nothing  
to say to each other?" Dawn shakes her head in disbelief. "Exactly  
how long are you two going to stay mad at each other?"

"I dunno," Xander looks at Dawn. "I was thinking forever."

"Works for me," Willow says, getting up. "If we're done here…?"

"We're not, sit down!" Dawn glares at her. Willow sits.

"Look, I really don't want to be around her, so if you'll excuse me…"  
Xander stands up. He quickly sits down when Dawn's withering gaze  
causes his knees to buckle. "This blows."

"No kidding, Harris. Did you put her up to this?"

"Gimme a break! Why would I do that? I so can think of like a million  
things I'd rather be doing than sitting here with you, Rosenberg!"

"Oh cut it out, you overgrown babies!" Dawn explodes. "My god, you've  
been friend, best friends forever, and you're going to throw that  
away? Real mature, the both of you! I wonder sometimes who's the  
senior, and who's the sophomore around here. I swear, you're both  
acting like …"

"Dawn," Willow rises, ignoring Dawn's glare. "I appreciate what  
you're trying to do here. But this isn't something you can fix by  
trying to scold us out of it. You don't know …" she presses her lips  
together, trying to hold in her emotions. "…you just don't know all  
the facts. This isn't that easy to fix."

Dawn looks at them, noting the way Willow studiously avoids looking  
in Xander's direction; Xander in the meanwhile looks at Willow  
surreptitiously out of the corner of the eye, and then quickly  
looking away.

The anger seems to drain out of her. She sits down heavily next to  
Xander, and lets out a breath.

"Maybe you're right," Dawn says, feeling awful. "I just hate this,  
you know? I really love you both, and seeing you like this… really  
hurts."

"Hey, babe, don't," Xander puts his arm around her. "Don't do this to  
yourself. This isn't your fault…"

"Feels like it…"

"C'mon, Dawnie, don't beat yourself up," Willow reaches over, and  
ruffles her hair. "Stuff happens, you know? Things change. Just gotta  
get used to it…"

"Used to it?" Dawn feels sick. "I don't want to get used to it…" She  
stands up, shaking off Xander's arm. "Not bad enough I've got a crazy  
sister with a big mouth that ruins everything. Not bad enough my  
parents are splitting up… now you guys are splitting up, too, and I  
don't want to get used to it! I'm tired of everyone I care about just  
…splitting up!"

"Dawn, hey…" Xander gets up to go to her.

"Dawnie…" Willow has the same idea.

"No, don't, just don't!" Dawn puts up her hands to put them  
off. "Really, I don't want you close to me right now. I'm so sick of  
having to be the one that takes it in the gut, and has to keep  
smiling, keep smiling, Dawn. Don't let it bug you, Dawn. Well, Dawn's  
really sick of it. I need you guys, but you're both at each other,  
and I feel like crap when I'm with either of you cuz I know that the  
other is on the outs…" She starts waving her hands around, gesturing  
wildly. "I could talk to you guys about stuff… now I got no one… not  
even Faith. Cuz, she split too. I got no one, and you know what? I  
HATE IT!" She balls her fists, hitting her thighs. Her face turns red  
with anger and hurt. " I don't know what's up or down or sideways  
anymore. I don't have ANYONE I can talk to anymore… and … it's not  
fair. What you're doing to each other and to me? IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"

"Dawn, honey, calm down…" Xander tries to put his arms around her,  
but she lashes out in anger, hitting him in the chest.

"NO! Get AWAY FROM ME!" She yells at him. "Both of you, just get away  
from me! I hate you both! You can BOTH GO TO HELL!!!"

Looking confused and angry and scared, she starts to back away from  
Xander and Willow.

Xander follows after, trying to grab her arm.

"Dawn, don't go, please…"

"Get away…" She shakes him off. "Stay away from me, Xander Harris, or  
I'll scream rape!"

Xander stands there, stunned, as Dawn looks this way and that, then  
runs off, running into one of the buildings for cover.

"Smooth, real smooth, Harris," Willow comes up behind him, needling  
him. "But you always did have a touch with the ladies…"

"Shut up!" He turns on her, angrily, "I really don't need it from  
you!"

"Well, you need it from someone, Xander. Maybe if you didn't pull  
that "Her or me" crap on her, she wouldn't be so upset…"

"You don't know anything…"

"I know you, Xander Harris. I know I got it from you…"

"Yeah, well, you made your choice, didn't you?" Xander spits out at  
her. "I see that turned out well…"

Willow turns red. "That's none of your business!"

"You got that right, Will," Xander goes to her. "I stopped making it  
my business when you chose her. Again! After the last time. After  
what she did to you… but I warned you about that, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did," Willow says, her voice soft and steely. "When the  
going gets tough, you cut and run!"

"How can anybody so smart be so stupid?" Xander shakes his head. "Who  
stuck by you when that…" Xander bites his tongue, holding back the  
expletive, "…witch… had you ganged raped? Who brought you your  
assignments from school for a month so you wouldn't fall behind,  
because you couldn't face anyone? Who listened to you cry your heart  
out, night after night, over someone who isn't good enough to lick  
your shoes… much less, make you miserable like that? It broke my  
heart, Will, to watch you eat yourself away over her. To watch you  
close up like a clam because she did hurt you so badly… god, I wanted  
to … but you wouldn't even let me…" he doesn't even realize he's  
clenching his fists,"… when you finally came back…didn't I stick with  
you, when no one else would even talk to you? Because of the lies  
that bitch spread about you? I've never seen you hate school before,  
Will. But she even took that from you… "

Willow stands there, not looking at him. She can't.

"And even then, at first, I saw you look at her as she passed by, and  
ignored you. You looked like a junkie and she was your drug. And … I  
couldn't take it, not after everything she did… and I told you, I  
told you, Will, I wouldn't watch you do it to yourself again. I  
wouldn't be there the next time, if you chose her… and I thought… you  
seemed to snap out of it, you got better, got stronger, and I was so  
proud of you… and then…I find out you're with her again! AGAIN! And  
you're angry because I … I won't let you break my heart like that  
again. Well, excuse ME!"

Willow stands there, the tears coursing down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Xander… I didn't mean to…"

"I guess I'm just stupid, Will. But we know that already. But I just  
don't get it. How do you 'not mean to…' be with someone? How do you  
accidentally sneak around behind your friends back? I just don't get  
it." He frowns. "I guess, I just don't get you." Shaking his head, he  
starts to walk away.

"Xander… don't…"

Xander stops and turns around. He doesn't look mad any longer. Just  
sad.

"Don't what, Will? I don't know what to do here. Like you said, I'm  
not good with the ladies, you know? I'm out of ideas…" He seems to  
slump even more. "Thing is, it's hurting Dawn now, too. And I don't  
want that. So, I'm calling a truce."

"Truce?" Willow's voice is low, barely audible.

"I'm not going to fight with you anymore, Willow. I'm not going to  
make Dawn choose between us. I know you care about her, and I care  
about her… and seeing her lose it like that? Really scary. So, I'm  
not making it worse. So, truce?"

Willow nods, afraid to trust her voice.

"You know what the worst thing is?"

"What?" Willow asks, softly.

"You let that… you let her take away your pride, your dignity, you're  
best friend, and mine. And, now, she might've cost me my girlfriend,  
too. I just gotta know something."

Willow looks at him doe eyed.

"Was it worth it? Was she really worth it?"

Not waiting for the answer, he turns and leaves.

Willow stands there watching him go.

Alone. Like she's never been alone in her life.

3

Buffy rushes towards the gym, cursing her Chemistry teacher for the  
detention. She knows she's running late, and she just knows Cordelia  
will use it as an excuse to abuse her more.

God, I should just quit. I mean, is it worth this? I can't even stand  
going to practice, cuz I know I'm just going to get farther and  
farther behind…

No, I won't quit. I won't let them make me quit! I don't care. They  
can't take this from me! I don't care what they do! They can heap on  
the crap with a wheelbarrow. I'm not quitting. I'm not a quitter!

She pushes open the doors to the locker room, and makes her way  
towards her locker. She stops when she hears angry voices down one of  
the rows.

"I've got to see her…"

Willow? What's she doing here?

Buffy looks down the row of benches, seeing a cluster of cheerleaders  
surrounding Willow at the end of the row. She looks, to Buffy's  
judgment, like a dying deer surrounded by hyenas.

"Look, geekazoid. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, she  
doesn't want to see you. Get lost, freak show!"

Buffy feels her anger rise. Harmony. Figures. She starts down the  
aisle.

"Gimme a break, Harmony. When did you become Cordelia's bodyguard,  
huh?"

There are some titters behind her, and Harmony turns, glaring them  
down. She turns back to Willow.

"Listen, Queer bait, we don't want your kind around here, you know?  
God, it's disgusting to even think of you being in here, you lezzy  
freak. Probably checking us out, aren't you? I figure, they outta  
have three dressing rooms. One for guys, one for real girls, and one  
for not sures… like you, Ellen."

There's laughter behind her, and slaps on the back as Willow stands  
there, reddening.

"You know what Harm? You know what they say about homophobes, don't  
you?" A voice comes from behind Willow.

"Well, well, look who's finally here. Little late, aren't you Buffy?  
But then, that's a specialty for you, isn't it? "

More laughs, this time at Buffy's expense.

Buffy makes a disgusted face. "What're you babbling about, Harmony?"

"Oh, nothing, really. Just I heard you had to make a special visit to  
the doctor after your visit from Aunt Flo was late." She leans  
in. "So, tell me, Buffy, how was it fucking the entire football team?"

The girls behind her burst out laughing. Buffy stands there, fuming.

"You didn't answer her question, Harmony." Willow says quietly.

"Are you still here? What question?"

"I asked," Buffy finds her voice, speaking up. "Do you know what they  
say about homophobes? But hey, maybe it's all that peroxide you use.  
Probably affecting your hearing…" She smirks." Do you even know what  
a homophobe is, Harmony?"

"Yeah, of course I do," Harmony says, clueless. "So, Ms. Smart ass,  
what do they say?"

"Just that… they can't seem to open the closet door…" Buffy deadpans.  
She leans in. "So, tell me, Harm. You and Cordy are real close… how  
is it…"

"I think we've heard enough out of you," Cordelia comes around the  
end of the lockers.

Everyone goes silent. She looks around at the girls, and frowns.

"Don't you have elsewhere to be?"

"What're you saying, Buffy?" Harmony approaches Buffy, her eyes  
narrowed.

"Harmony? Get lost," Cordelia stares at her. "Take the team out and  
start on the routines."

"Cordelia! No! This bitch …"

"Harmony? GO!"

Harmony shoots Buffy an evil look. "This isn't over, Buffy. Not by a  
long shot. You better keep outta my way…"

Turning, she storms off after the rest of the girls.

"Cordelia, I need to talk to you…" Willow starts.

"Shut up, Willow. I don't have squat to say to you. Well, except to  
say get your skanky ass outta here…" She turns and looks at  
Buffy. "And take your garbage with you…"

"What?" Buffy looks at Cordelia, shocked.

"You're cut, Buffy. Do I need to draw you a picture? Collect your  
stuff, turn in your uniform. You're gone."

"Just because you're pissed at me, Cordelia, doesn't mean you can cut  
Buffy off the squad…"

"Oh god, Willow. Get over yourself, would you? You have zip to do  
with it," Cordelia moves to Buffy, smirking. "You've been nothing but  
trouble ever since I put you on the squad, Blondie. Late, causing  
trouble, getting in trouble… frankly, you're not worth it, you know?"  
She shakes her head, a disgusted look on her face. "Don't know what  
it was like at your old school, but we've got an image to keep around  
here."

"It's not fair," Buffy protests, "I did everything you wanted.  
Everything you told me to do… you can't cut me!"

Cordelia laughs.

"Get real, Buffy. I can do whatever I want. And I want you gone. So,  
get out."

"Is that a fact, Cordelia?" Willow speaks up, moving towards  
her. "Maybe you forgot, but I got the goods on you. I can go to the  
police and tell them all about your little 'initiations'. So, I'd  
back off…"

"Try it. Go ahead, Willow. Try it. And I'll just get my dad's lawyers  
on it, and get you and your 'evidence' blown out of the water…"  
Cordelia comes over, and pokes Willow in the chest. "Your dad… he  
works for the university, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, thing is, my dad is on the board of regents. And wouldn't it be  
a shame if suddenly, your dad lost his professorship? Oh, and I'm  
pretty sure he could get him blackballed, too. And, push it, and I'll  
sue your ass and win, and bye bye house. So, don't try to screw with  
me, Willow. Or you better just kiss everything your dad worked for  
goodbye." She reaches out, shoving Willow away. "Get lost, Lesbo. We  
don't want your kind around here…"

"Hey, Cor!"

"What?" Cordelia turns toward Buffy.

Buffy hawks, and spits, hitting Cordelia directly in the face.

"Eat that, bitch," She turns to Willow, linking her arm through  
hers. "Let's get outta here. It kinda stinks, ya know?"

The two turn and walk towards the exit, as Cordelia stands there,  
wiping the spittle off her face.

"You better run, you lousy bitches. Run real far. Cuz, I'm so gonna  
get you for this!"

But the two are already out of the building. Cordelia, angry and  
frustrated, kicks a locker door.

"Ow…OW!" She grabs her foot, rubbing it. She sits down hard on the  
bench, rubbing her foot.

Stupid sluts. I'll get you, both of you. Nobody messes with me. Not  
and get away with it. I'll get you both! You'll both pay!

Yet, as she sits there, rubbing her throbbing foot, she can't keep  
back the tears of anger and hurt.

Directed mostly at herself.

"Did you see her face? I thought she was gonna have a Guernsey."  
Buffy laughs as they exit the gym. It takes her a second to notice  
Willow isn't laughing. "Hey, c'mon, it was funny."

"This is all a big joke to you, isn't it Buffy?"

"Will? What's wrong?"

"Oh god, Buffy. Let me count the ways… " She looks at Buffy and  
shakes her head. "You trample all over peoples lives, make general  
chaos, and come out clean, and you think everything's smelling like  
American Beauty's. Well, sorry, but it just don't work that way."

"What? What're you talking about?"

"We're not friends, Buffy. I tried to be your friend, and you spit in  
my face. Maybe not literally, but you did. So, thanks for back there,  
but no thanks." She starts walking away.

Buffy confused and hurt, follows after.

"What did I do?"

"Buffy, if you can't figure it out, I'm not gonna tell you." She  
stops and turns around. " Thing is, Buffy? You crapped all over me,  
and I don't hate you. I really don't. I just feel sorry for you. Must  
be hell to be you."

Turning, she walks away.

"Hey, don't do me any favors! Fine, you want it that way, just fine.  
I don't need you! I don't need anyone! I … " She watches Willow's  
disappearing back.

"Aw, screw you! Screw you all!"

Turning the opposite way, she walks away.

4

"But… dad…"

"Buffy, I'm sorry, I'm busy right now. I explained that to you."

Buffy is sitting on her bed, staring out the window, cell phone glued  
to her ear. The unhappy look on her face reflects her inner turmoil.

"I need to talk to you. It's important."

"Whatever it is, Buffy, it'll have to wait. I'm in the middle of a  
meeting with a client. I simply don't have time to talk with you  
right now," Hanks sighs. "Look, as soon as I can, I'll call you back,  
ok? But right now, I just can't talk."

"Dad. Please?"

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I have to go."

Buffy hears the phone click. She stares at the phone , and sighs. She  
stares out her bedroom window, watching the shadows lengthen in the  
late afternoon sun. Another, huge sigh escapes her.

She turns back to the phone, and dials another number.

"Hey. Can't talk. Leave me a message."

She frowns.

Even Oz isn't around. No one to talk to. God, I hate this place. It  
sucks, it totally SUCKS!

Angrily, she tosses her phone across the room. It hits the wall, and  
Buffy hears it shatter as the pieces go flying.

Aw, Crap! Nice, Real nice. Now I gotta tell mom why I broke my phone.  
DAMMIT! She'll probably ground me for another month. It's not fair!  
None of this is FAIR! She walks over, and picks up the pieces off the  
floor, trying to put it back together. A hopeless cause if ever there  
was one. I'll tell her I dropped it. She'll make a deal about me  
being clumsy, but maybe she won't ground me more…

Buffy drops the pieces on the nightstand, then almost throws herself  
on the bed, picking up a magazine she was looking through. She flips  
the pages, but her mind isn't on it.

This crappy town blows. God, that bitch kicks me off the team. ME!  
The best one on it. God, those girls move like a herd of cows.  
Probably where they learned their routines, too! She snickers. God,  
I'm so gonna laugh when they get trashed at the Regionals. God, do  
they really think they'll make state? Gimme a break! With that  
clueless airhead leading them? They'll be lucky if they can find the  
regionals, much less win. Whatta joke. God, maybe it's a good thing I  
got booted. At least I won't get humiliated with those hicks.

Still, kinda stupid to spit in her face. Hick or not, she's still the  
Queen of Sunnydale high. She can so make my life … aw, who cares?  
God, graduation isn't that far off, and then I'm gonna blow this  
stupid town. If mom and the squirt wanna live in Smallville, well  
that's just great. But I'm getting the hell outta here…

And do what Buff? What can you do, huh? Wave pom-poms and your ass?  
That's really gonna help ya, especially if…

"I'm not…I'm not… I'm… just off this time. It'll come…I've been late  
before…" Buffy mutters to herself out loud. She crumples the magazine  
in her hands.

What if you are? Then what're you gonna do, huh? How're you gonna  
explain it when you've only been with…

SHUT UP! I'M NOT! I'M NOT …

It's this stupid place… Buffy feels the tears come to her eyes, and  
wipes them away savagely. They all hate me, because I'm… I'm not  
gonna let them get to me. None of them. Screw 'em all… I hate them  
all, anyway…

She sits up, back against the headboard, and draws her knees to her  
chest. Hugging her legs to her, she begins to rock back and forth.

I'm fine. All by myself. I don't need anyone. I'm good, fine…

I'm fine… I'm fine…

"Hey, anybody home?"

Dawn stands in the foyer, waiting for an answer. Hearing nothing, she  
sighs in relief.

Good. Didn't want to run into The Cheerleader from Hell, anyway. God,  
she's been crabby the last couple of days… last couple of days? How  
about, all my life?

Flinging her backpack by the stairs, Dawn makes a right, heading for  
the kitchen. Hitting the 'fridge, she opens it, inspecting the  
contents. Nope…naw… pie looks good…yeah, especially on the hips,  
gordo…ok… she sighs, grabbing a bottle of water. Water it is. I  
swear, they can like send guys into space to build a space station,  
but can they figure out how to make pie so it doesn't go straight to  
your hips? It sucks, I tell you, totally sucks!

Opening the bottle, she takes a big swig, letting out a big sigh of  
satisfaction. She leans against the fridge, and takes another sip,  
thinking about the day.

I swear, I'm sooo good. I should take it on the road. "Dawn's amazing  
magical act. Make your friends disappear with just a couple of  
words!" Nice one Dawn. Can you even spell Jerk? Why'd you go all  
nuclear on them, anyway?

Why'd they act like that, anyway? I was just trying to help. I mean,  
are they so stupid they can't see they're like totally salt and  
pepper shakers? I mean, different but so belong together. They've  
been friends forever, and they're gonna end it over She-Who-Must-Wear-  
Cow-Skins?

And, what about me? Think I like seeing them fighting like that?  
Feeling like crap when I hang out with one of them, and see the  
other? They think I like this? Well, they've got another think coming!

Damn it, it's not fair! Dawn launches herself off the fridge,  
starting to pace, waving the bottle around . I so needed to talk to  
someone. About this Faith and Mom thing. And I figured, I could talk  
to Will. But then Xander would get that hurt look, like I was  
betraying him to talk to Willow. So, of course, I've got to fix it,  
and boom, they act like 3 year olds fighting over a doll. Geeze,  
whatta bunch of babies.

Yeah, and I was sooo mature, blowing up like that. God. But it's  
their fault! They're supposed to be like nearly adults, why're they  
acting like babies?

And I still don't have a clue as to why Mom likes Faith like… that.  
God, it's just…weird… I know Willow could explain it to me, you know?  
I mean, she's gay and all and she knows stuff. Lots of stuff. Well,  
that's not gonna happen now!

Mom said that Faith makes her happy. Well, duh, you'd have to be  
blind not to see that. She was all happy, happy when Faith was here,  
and now?

And why not dad? I mean, why can't dad make her happy? Why can't they  
at least try again?

Dawn stops, realizing that in her little tirade, she's managed to  
spill water on the floor. Great, just really great.

Setting down the bottle, she grabs the mop, doing a quick clean up.  
Shaking her head, she puts the mop away.

Stupid. I've figured it out. People are stupid, never happy with what  
they got.

She looks at the bottle. Trashing it, she grabs another out of the  
fridge.

Why does everybody always have to change things, anyway? Why can't  
you be happy with what you got? People! Stupid family, stupid  
friends. Stupid, stupid, oh, and stupid!

I'm done with it. I'm tired of being in the middle of it all the  
time. They want to fight, and be stupid, let them! Me, she walks out  
of the kitchen, back to the foyer, I'm gonna do my homework. At  
least, when you do math, the square root of 16 is always four! It  
doesn't change. It's never like 3 or 5, just four. Why can't you be  
happy just being four, huh? Why do you always gotta be 5?

She bends to retrieve her pack, and an image of Xander, smiling his  
happy-goofy smile hits her.

Damn, but he's such a cute 5 sometimes! She pouts a little. And no  
more Xander kisses. Bigger pout.

Gawd! This sucks! All of it totally SUCKS!

Grabbing up her pack, she storms upstairs, tromping heavily on each  
tread.

Dawn is passing Buffy's room when she notices the door open a crack.  
She looks in to see Buffy sitting on her bed, seemingly staring out  
at her.

Great. She's here. Make my day!

"Hey, Buff."

"What do you want?" Buffy seems to growl at her.

"Nothing!" Dawn puts up her hands. Bite my head off, why don't  
you? "leaving now!"

"Yeah, get lost. I mean, if ya wanna gloat, do it on your own time,  
squirt."

Gloat? "Gloat? You're kidding, right? With you as a sister, I just  
wanna hide my head under a rag and hope they don't notice a family  
resemblance."

"That the best you can do, Squirt?" Buffy scrambles off the bed,  
coming over to Dawn. "What are you, lame? That's pathetic, you know?  
Come on, give it to me, Dawn. You know you wanna. You're dying to get  
a good one in. Go ahead, free shot!" Buffy stands in Dawn's  
space. "C'mon, do it. Show some guts. Take a shot!"

"God, are you psycho or what?" Dawn pushes her away. She turns to  
leave. "You're not worth it…"

"Don't you turn your back on ME!" Buffy reaches out, and grabs Dawn's  
hair, puling her back.

"OW! MY HAIR!" Dawn yells, "Let GO of my HAIR!"

She reaches out, having the longer reach, and grabs Buffy's  
hair. "LET GO!"

"OW! Let go of my hair!" Buffy shoves her, only managing to make it  
worse. "GOD, you fight like a …Girl!"

"Well, DUH! I am one!" She tugs on Buffy's hair. "Let go of me!"

"You first!"

"No, you first!"

"No, You!"

"NO,YOU!"

They stand, face to face, glaring at each other.

"On three," Buffy finally says.

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Ok, then, on three," Dawn agrees.

"One… Two…"

Buffy gives Dawn's hair another big jerk.

"Three!"

"OW!" Dawn shoves Buffy, causing her to jerk backwards, lose her  
balance, and fall. Buffy sits down hard on her butt, glaring at the  
floor. "What the hell is wrong with you, Buffy? All I did is say hey,  
and you go ballistic. Are you some kind of psycho or something?  
What's your trauma, anyway?" She stands there, hands on hips, staring  
down at her older sister. "What's wrong with you?"

"Just go away, wouldya?" Buffy mutters, staring at the floor.

"Be my pleasure. GOD! You're a … " Dawn lets out a sound and turns,  
leaving.

"You hate me like all the rest, anyway…"

Dawn stops dead. She turns around, her face angry.

"Well, maybe they wouldn't if you didn't act so hateful!" Dawn yells  
at her. "All I did was say hi, and you attack me. You act like we  
should all fall down and kiss your lumpy ass because you happen to  
show up. Well, know what? I'm tired of your 'tude, sister. Real tired  
of you, period! Sometimes I wish you weren't my sister!"

Buffy doesn't say anything. She doesn't look at Dawn at all. But the  
tears start to fall silently down her face.

"Buffy, god…I didn't mean it," Dawn comes over to her. Buffy has  
started to shake now. "I … I was just mad, ok? I didn't mean that…"

"You're right…" Buffy lets out a small sob. "I'm a bitch. A total  
bitch, to everyone…"

"Buffy, hey, " Dawn gets down next to her. " you can't help being a  
tard…"

Buffy, despite her tears, chuckles. Then she sniffles, and more tears  
start falling.

"Hey, ok, not a tard. But you're… well, you're tough. Sometimes  
that's cool… but sometimes…"

"I'm a bitch, Dawn, and I know it…" Buffy whispers. "I hate …I… aw  
fuck, forget it. Just go, ok?"

"Buffy, c'mon… what's wrong?" Dawn rubs Buffy's back, trying to calm  
her. "What's bugging you?"

"Dawn, I…" She looks at Dawn.

For a moment, she wants to tell her. Tell her everything. Tell her  
what she fears. But she can't. If I tell her, it's really real. I …

"Nothing. I'm fine… just… crampy…" She gets up, shaking Dawn  
off. "You know…"

Dawn knows she's lying. But she can't call her on it, because Buffy  
will just go ballistic again.

"God, Buffy, just take a pill, ok? Quit taking it out on everyone,"  
Dawn cracks, getting up. She tries one more time. "You sure you're  
ok?"

"Better than you, Squirt."

"Would you quit calling me that?" Dawn says irritably.

"Why? It's so much fun to piss you off." Buffy grins.

She's gotta be better…

"Get bent, Munchkin."

"You first, Squirt."

"Screw you, Buffy!" Dawn turns, walking out. God, why do I even  
bother?

"You wish, Homo!"

The door slams behind Dawn.

The fight, the energy seems to drain out of Buffy's body. Seemingly  
almost in a fog, her body slumped, she walks over to the bed, and  
sits on the edge, hands gripped together, held in her lap.

She doesn't even seem to notice the room getting darker, as the sun  
goes down. She just sits, staring at the floor.

Now what?

5

Faith roars down the small suburban street, visor up, enjoying the  
feel of the wind on her face. She smiles, one with the machine,  
feeling the rumble and roar of the bike between her legs. Man, this  
is what it's all about…

She guides the Sportster into the driveway of a nice suburban two  
story, parking it next to the large black truck belonging to the  
owners of the house. She hops off, making her way towards the stairs  
leading up to the tiny apartment built over the garage.

She's running a little behind this late Wednesday afternoon, and she  
has to change before going to work at the University. Stupid  
professor. I swear he's in love with the sound of his voice. Couldn't  
finish on time, no sir! Never mind he assigned a paper…30 pages… due  
in two weeks. God, what does he think? I don't got a life outside his  
class…

"Faith? Is that you? I need to see you!"

Ah man! Now what? I'm so gonna be late for work…

Faith turns just in time to see Mrs. Antonia Carval turn the corner  
of the garage.

"Heya, Mrs. C. What's up? Running a little late…"

"Faith McKerrigan!" Antonia huffs, stopping at the bottom of the  
stairs. "When am I going to get you to call me Tonia like everyone  
else? I'm not that old, girl!"

No one would mistake Antonia Carval for a petite woman. Standing 5  
foot, 9 inches, and weighing around 175, she is a solidly built  
woman. However, despite her size, she has an innate grace, and broad,  
round pleasant face graced usually by a beaming smile. It's an honest  
face, one defined by character and determination, one that's seen a  
lot in its day. Faith took an immediate liking to Mrs. Carval; she  
reminds her a lot of the women on the block she grew up with.

"Sorry, Mrs. C. Just where I grew up, we were a little more formal,  
ya know? Or if we weren't, we'd get a slap up side the head."

Antonia laughs empathetically. "Oh I know that one. My mom was the  
same way." Antonia gets a stern expression. "Tonia Romero, you watch  
that mouth, young lady! You show respect for your elders…" Antonia  
laughs. "She was a tough one, my mom."

Faith grins, looking at Mrs. Carval. Yeah, and I bet if I asked your  
kids, they'd say the same thing…

"So, ummm… if you can excuse me, I gotta get changed for work. Don't  
want the chief getting angry cuz I'm late…"

"I wouldn't worry too much, Faith. My baby brother George is quite  
impressed by you. Thinks you're tough and smart. I don't think he'll  
be too upset if you're a few minutes late…"

"Still…" Faith shrugs.

"Don't worry, honey. I won't keep you long. I just wanted to let you  
know some packages arrived for you today…"

"Oh?" Faith thinks for a moment, puzzled. Then she remembers what  
they are, and a little crease comes into her forehead. "Oh yeah.  
Right. The stuff from Boston, right?"

"Yes," Antonia looks at her, noting her expression. She doesn't seem  
all that happy about it.

"Well, I'll get them later. Right now, kinda …"

"I know, dear, you're late," Antonia nods. "No need to collect them.  
I put them upstairs in your room already." She looks at Faith  
directly. "I hope you don't mind?"

"No, thanks, that was nice of you, Mrs. C… er…Tonia," Faith smiles.

"So, some stuff from home then?" Antonia inquires, curious as hell  
but too polite to come out and ask.

"Yeah, just some… stuff a friend was holding for me. Said she was  
tired of having my stuff in the way, so she sent it along…" Faith  
makes a face. "She can be a real jerk sometimes…"

"People," Antonia shrugs, "you can't live with them, and you can't  
shoot them. Whattya do?"

Faith can't help but laughing a little at that.

"Yeah, well, I guess I was kind of a jerk too…" She admits. "But she  
was a bigger jerk. Not like it was really in the way that much…"

"Well, I wouldn't be too hard on her, honey," Antonia chides her  
gently. "Maybe she needed the room for something else…"

Yeah, probably her new girlfriend…

"Well, thanks, Mrs. C," Faith changes the subject, not wanting to  
talk about Tina anymore. "I'll just …" She gestures upstairs.

"Right. Oh, yes, one more thing…" She hands Faith an envelope. "This  
came in the mail for you today, too."

Faith looks at the envelope, and sighs. She folds it, and slips it in  
her jacket pocket. "Hey, thanks again, Mrs. C. I…I'll see you later.  
Gotta get going."

"Sure, Faith. No problem," Antonia says quietly. "Oh, and if you see  
that brother of mine? Tell him I expect him a Sunday dinner 4 pm  
sharp, ok?" She crosses her arms over her chest. "And you too, young  
lady. No more excuses, hear me? I want you to meet the rest of the  
family."

"Ok, ok," Faith puts up her hands in surrender. "I'll be there…seeya  
later, Mrs. C." She turns, and trots upstairs, disappearing through  
her apartment door.

Antonia stands there for a moment, looking up the stairs.

Mystery girl. Hiding something, I see. I wonder what it is?

Antonia turns, heading back towards the house. Well, we'll just have  
to find out, I reckon.

Chief Romero wasn't the only investigator in his family, it seems.

Faith stands in her bedroom/living room/ kitchenette one room flat,  
staring at the packages leaning up against the wall nearest the  
doorway. One is long and narrow, the other squarish. Both are wrapped  
in brown paper, bearing shipping labels. That really doesn't matter,  
because she knows what's in them.

She walks over, and picks up the tall one, rubbing her hand over it,  
feeling the wooden frame underneath the paper. She smiles, remember  
how excited she was that day in the Museum locker room, the day Joyce  
brought them for her. Her first real artist tools, a beautiful oak  
easel and professional set of paints and the rest. It had touched her  
so deeply, that Joyce had thought that much of her, cared that much.

Faith feels the tears forming in her eyes, and leans the package back  
against the wall. Letting go of it doesn't stop the ache, or the  
memories. It doesn't stop how she feels, or how much she misses Joyce.

She reaches out again, almost hesitantly, as if afraid to touch the  
package. Just as the tips of her fingers are about to brush over it,  
she jerks her hand back, almost violently.

"I don't got time for this crap. Gotta get to work."

Turning on her heel, she heads for the bathroom.

"… so anyway, to clinch the deal, I need to meet with the client on  
Friday night. It's only a business dinner, so I'll only be gone a few  
hours…"

Joyce looks across the table for a reaction. Did they buy that? She  
notices neither girl seems to be paying much attention. Nor are they  
eating. Mostly, they're using their forks to move their food around  
their plates, making dinner into some new kind of food art.

"Well?" She finally asks, just trying to get something going here.

"So?" Buffy says, shrugging, not looking up. "Not like it's the first  
time."

"Whatever, mom," Dawn flashes a look at Buffy, then turns back to her  
plate, swirling her veggies into her potatoes.

Well, I see it's dinner with the grumpy twins again. Now what  
happened? Well, at least it's better than screaming, I guess.

"Ok, then," Joyce plows on, ignoring the lack of enthusiasm. "I guess  
I'll have Mrs. Blankenship from next door come over and keep you  
company…"

"What?" Buffy looks up sharply. "Mrs. Blankenship? Oh god…"

"Her of the endless stories of her one trip to Vera Cruz, and the  
empanadas? She's … creepy, mom."

"Dawn, that's not very nice at all," Joyce frowns, shaking her  
head, "Pat's been a very nice neighbor…"

"Well, it's true," Dawn insists. "No one's that cheery all the time.  
It's weird."

"God, why do we need a babysitter, anyway? I'm way too old for that…"  
Buffy makes a face.

"Hey, me too…"

"Dunno, Squirt. Looks like you need your diapers changed…"

"Drop dead, munchkin…"

"Enough! I see you two still haven't learned your lesson…" Joyce  
feels her mouth tightening.

"Aw, mom…" Dawn complains.

"I promise. I won't run away from home while your out on your date…"  
Buffy raises her hand. "Scout's honor."

"It's not a date, I told you that. It's a business dinner." Joyce  
gives her daughter a look for the sarcasm. "And you, young lady,  
haven't exactly proven you're all that reliable…"

Buffy makes a noise, waving her hand.

"Well, I am. Maybe we could lock her in the basement, then we  
wouldn't need…" Dawn catches Joyce's look. "Ok, just saying… still,  
why does it have to be Mrs. Blankenship. She gives me the heebie-  
jeebies…"

"Watching "Bambi" gave you the heebie-jeebies, squirt…"

"Well, they killed her mother… and the forest fire…"

"Wimp," Buffy mutters.

"Hag," Dawn rejoins.

"Ok, I need any more reason not to leave you two alone? You'd  
probably make the house look like a tornado ran through it…"

"But why Pat?" Buffy gets a sour look on her face. "I mean, c'mon. If  
I hear one more story of Vera Cruz, I'm gonna barf…"

"Buffy Summers!" Joyce gives her the best Pissed off Mom  
look. "Anyway, there's no one else I can get on this short notice…"

"What about dad?" Buffy asks, arching a brow.

"Yeah, what about dad?" Dawn pipes up. "He could watch us."

"Your father's a busy man," Joyce says, "I already asked him. He  
can't do it." Nice lie there, Joyce. Almost convinced me!

"Yeah, sure," Buffy says, going back to plate art, "whatever."

Joyce's mom radar kicks in. That was too easy…

"What about Faith?" Dawn asks.

"Honey, I'm sure Faith is busy … too busy to come over and stay with  
you guys. I mean, she's back in school now and with work and  
studying…"

"Brilliant idea there, squirt. Unlike you, Faith's got a life, you  
know? Pretty sure she doesn't want to hang out with a bunch of losers  
like us. Not now that she don't gotta…"

"What do you mean? She's a friend…"

"Gimme a break, moron. She's gonna pal around with a couple of  
teenagers? Yeah, sure, dumb ass. She only did it before cuz she got a  
break on the rent…"

"Yeah? Well, you don't know everything, Buffy…"

"Dawn, Buffy. That's enough. Faith isn't available."

"How do you know? Did you even ask?" Dawn crosses her arms over her  
chest. "You could at least ask, you know."

"Oh, who cares?" Buffy lets her fork clatter in her plate. "Can I be  
excused?"

Joyce looks at Buffy's plate, frowning. "you could eat your dinner…"

"Not hungry," Buffy says, voice low. "got stuff to do. Homework  
stuff."

"Mom, are you going to ask her?"

"Dawn, not now, ok?" She turns to Buffy. "Eat some dinner. Then you  
can be excused."

"I'm not hungry…"

"Buffy, I've had enough. Eat something…"

Buffy stares at her mother, then grabs her spoon. She starts  
shoveling food into her mouth until her cheeks are puffed out.

"There, happy?" She mumbles around her swollen cheeks. She stares  
defiantly at Joyce.

"God, you're such a pig, Buffy." Dawn shakes her head.

Joyce lets her fork drop noisily on her plate. She has a disgusted  
look on her face.

"Just go, Buffy," She says, waving her hand. "Go on, you wanted to  
go."

"Thanks," Buffy stands up.

"No, thank you, Buffy, for ruining another dinner." Joyce says,  
angrily. "Can't we have one dinner around here without a temper  
tantrum from you?"

Buffy, mouth stuffed, doesn't reply.

Joyce can see the cold anger in her eyes, however.

Buffy turns, and runs upstairs. A few seconds later, predictably, a  
door slams.

Joyce sighs, putting her head in her hands.

"Mom…"

"Dawn, please. Don't ask about Faith again, ok? I really don't need  
that right now, too."

Joyce doesn't look up when she hears Dawn's silver clatters on her  
plate, or when her chair scrapes across the floor.

Dawn gets up, and just walks away, her chin firmly set. She stops at  
the doorway.

"I was gonna ask if you're ok, but whatever. Do whatever you want, I  
really don't care."

A tromping on the stairs, followed by another door slamming upstairs  
only makes Joyce sigh. She feels her stomach churn acid.

One quiet dinner, with everyone not having a major crisis? Is that  
too much to ask?

She stands up, starting to clear the table from dinner.

You know what? I should rent my daughters out to the weight  
challenged. A couple of months with them in the house, and I can  
guarantee they'd lose the pounds…

She fills the sink with water, and starts washing the dishes.

God, if I could only get on the radar here. Figure out what's going  
through their minds. Why are they so mad at each other? It just  
doesn't make sense. If only they'd talk to me…

Joyce starts to rinse off the plates when a thought strikes her.  
Putting the plate in the drainer, she grabs the dishtowel, and wipes  
her hands.

It's perfect. They won't talk to me, but maybe they'd talk to her…  
then I could ask her what's going on… yeah, if she'll go for it. If  
she'll even talk to me… Ok, stupid idea. Forget that one…

She turns back to the sink, and finishes the dishes. But the idea of  
Faith talking to the girls, getting them to open up, won't leave her  
mind.

Wiping the last dish, she puts it in the cupboard, and drying her  
hands, leaves the kitchen.

Maybe if I put it the right way to her. Maybe I can convince her to  
do it. I mean, I know she cares about the girls…

She picks up the phone off the wall.

Oh well, what can she do but say no, anyway?

Shrugging, she dials a number.

"Damn!"

Faith slams the book closed, and stares out into space.

It's a quiet night at the dispatch; Wednesdays are mostly quiet.  
She'd planned to catch up on her studying. Ergo the books, and the  
outliners and other studying accessories she brought to work.

That was the plan anyway. But as too often happens, the best laid  
plans often go astray.

In this case, it's the fact that she can't get beyond the first page.

She looks at it. She reads it. But it must be written in a foreign  
language, because she can't seem to make any sense of it. She stares  
at it, and then starts again. More reading. More not making sense.

Ok, this is just stupid. I can do this. Open the book, and read the  
pages. God, it's in English. You speak it. You read it. So, do it!

Letting out an exasperated breath, she opens the book, leaning her  
face on her palm as she tries to read the page again.

A few minutes later, she closes the book, giving up.

Maybe she's tired. Working, studying, and going to school? Not easy  
for anyone. She's taken on a lot.

Maybe the subject bores her. Ok, I mean, how thrilling can Events in  
Modern Western Europe really be? Maybe that's why she can't focus on  
the page.

Or maybe, it's because her mind keeps going back to her apartment. To  
the packages she received. Knowing what they are, who gave them to  
her? Doesn't really help.

Maybe it's because she can't get her mind off of Joyce. What  
happened, why they're apart, any of it.

Maybe, just maybe, she's missing Joyce. A lot.

Ok, I was right. This is stupid! It's not going to work. Faith slams  
the book closed again. God, things were going so good. Why did that  
crap have to show up today? I don't need this… this all the time  
wondering and … shit, why am I doing this? Pretty clear, she doesn't  
care. Right?

No, not right. She wasn't the one that left, was she? I left. But I  
had to leave. I just couldn't take that anymore. I can't take this  
not knowing if it's real or not real or gonna be something or just a  
fling or do I even MATTER to her or not? God, it's making me crazy,  
and I don't need crazy!

Who am I kidding here? I mean, if she cared, she call, right?

And she nearly jumps out of her skin when her cell phone goes off.  
She looks at the ID, and nearly has a cow.

Ok, that's just…

"Joyce?" Faith's voice cracks a little. Oh nice one, Faith. Show your  
cool there!

"Faith?" Joyce's voice sounds strange, a little distant and strained.

"Uh, yeah. It's my number you dialed. Were you expecting someone  
else?"

"No, no… just, you sounded strange… you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Peaches, Joyce, just peaches."

"Oh." Joyce hesitates. "Well, that's good, right? How's school?"  
How's school? You asked how's school? How dumb is that one, Joyce?

"Fine," Faith answers, " Uhhh… was there a point to this call, Joyce?  
Or …?"

"Yes, of course," Joyce recovers, " I … ummm… look, I need to talk to  
you about something…"

"Geeze, Joyce, kinda busy here. You know, working and all." She looks  
around at the decidedly un-busy call board. "Really don't have time  
to chat."

"You're working? Oh, right, sorry, of course. Look… I do need to talk  
to you about something, and well…I found some of your stuff over  
here. Thought you might want it. So, maybe…" She hesitates a  
little,"… maybe you could drop by the Gallery, pick it up? And we  
could talk?"

Faith is somewhat wary, considering how well their last conversation  
at the Gallery went.

"Dunno, Joyce. Kinda busy like I said, with school and working and  
studying so I don't mess it all up. Couldn't I like drop by the house  
sometime… like when you're NOT there!!! … and pick that stuff up?"

There's a pause on the other side of the conversation.

"Please, Faith, I do need to talk to you about something…it's  
important…"

Faith feels a knot in her stomach. Despite her protests, she wants to  
see Joyce. She's just afraid of the results. She licks her now dry  
lips.

I'm gonna regret this. It's going to blow up in my face, and I'm  
gonna …

"All right, whatever. I'll… I'll find some time…"

"Tomorrow?"

"Joyce!!"

"Please, Faith?"

Faith sighs. Just get it over with!!!

"Yeah, ok, tomorrow. Afternoon. Sometime…"

"Thanks, Faith. Really." There's a pause. "Are you ok?"

"You're kidding, right? Ok? That's really an odd question, Joyce…"  
Her voice gets a little cold.

"I'm… sorry, I didn't mean… I'm screwing this all up," Joyce says  
plaintively. "I just meant… I know money's tight and … well, you  
sound …" She trails off.

"I'm fine Joyce, really," Faith says with no conviction.

"I miss you…" Joyce finally says what she really wants to say.

"I miss you too, Joyce." Faith pauses, as her heart beats hard in her  
chest. "But that doesn't change things…"

"I know. I had to say it… because I do miss you…"

Faith feels her heart twist.

"I gotta go, Joyce. Really busy right now. Gotta…"

"Of course, sorry. Tomorrow then?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow. Bye."

"Good…" Joyce's voice is cut off when Faith snaps shut the phone.

Faith sits there, feeling the anger and hurt and loneliness well up  
in her like a dark cloud. She almost throws her phone into the wall,  
she's so angry.

Instead, she just stares into space, brooding.

Joyce holds the phone in her hand, staring at it. Her thumb caresses  
over the handset, almost as if it were Faith's cheeks.

She just wishes her heart would stop beating so hard in her chest.

Right now, she just wishes it would stop beating, period. Life  
doesn't look all that good at the moment.

Sighing, she puts the phone down, and crosses through the dining room  
into to the living room. She plops down onon the couch.

I can't. I can't do this anymore. How am I supposed to take this?

She covers her face with her hands as the tears start to roll down  
her cheeks.

6

"Well, it's better than a sharp stick in the eye, I guess."

Buffy surveys her kingdom, a small isolated corner away from the rest  
of the geeks and freaks in the quad area. Even they won't talk to me,  
she thinks as she brushes away the leaves and debris off the small  
stone bench.

It's Thursday, another new day in the life of Buffy in Hell that now  
exists in Sunnydale. And hell it's been.

All day, everyone has pointedly ignored her, moving off if she  
approached, or pretending to 'notice' her to just snub her as soon as  
was humanly possible. A silence descended over any conversation she  
tried to join, and the whispers after she moved on just confirmed  
what she already knew.

She is persona non grata anywhere she goes. Cordelia has struck back,  
hard.

Even gym, which she usually liked, was a total suck fest. More  
whispers as she went to her locker and opened it, to see two Barbie  
dolls bound together in a sixty nine position. One red headed, the  
other blonde. The message was obvious.

On top of everything else, she was branded as the school's newest gay  
student, obviously having a 'secret' affair with a certain red-headed  
senior. Gotta be the Queen. I mean, who else could get access to my  
locker? Never mind that I'm straight, and she knows it. Never mind  
Willow won't even talk to me, much less date me. God, can it get  
worse?

It did, when she went out on the field. No one would stand next to  
her. No one would talk to her. No one would pick her for the team.  
The coach, finally taking pity on her, just put her by herself,  
letting her sit out the class.

And of course, when she got to her locker to store her books for  
lunch, it had been freshly painted with the word "DYKE" in bold red  
letters screaming out her new status.

Even they won't talk to me, Buffy thinks, looking over to where  
the 'gay' contingent is sitting, chatting away. She hadn't even  
approached them, but she could feel the stares from across the quad.

Sitting down, she balances the tray on her knees, staring at the  
substances in each little compartment passing at food. God, you'd  
think they could at least make it look like food… she grumbles to  
herself, passing her fork over various items, not exactly wanting to  
start.

"Hey."

Buffy looks up to see Oz, tray in hand, standing in front of her.  
It's as if a switch has been thrown. Her face lights up with a large  
smile.

"Hey, yourself," She says, then she frowns. "Oh. Maybe you don't want  
to be seen with me right now? I mean, according to current rumor, I'm  
a lesbian, you know. Might ruin your rep."

"As what?" Oz shrugs nonchalantly, "So, can I sit?"

"Sure," Buffy quickly scoots over, making room.

Oz sits next to her, and stares at his tray. "Got a clue as to what  
the green stuff is?" He looks puzzled.

Buffy looks at it, equally clueless. "Not sure. I was hoping for  
maybe spinach or kale or something. But you never know. It might be  
last week's mystery meat." She shrugs. "They put a man on the moon.  
You'd think they could at least make it look like food."

"There's a rumor, you know."

"What?"

"The whole man on the moon thing? Shot on a secret soundstage in  
Hollywood."

"What? That's crazy!" Buffy protests. She looks at him. "You don't  
believe that, do you?" She looks a little worried. "Do you?"

"No, I was kidding," Oz says, taking a bite of food.

"Oh. It's kind of hard to tell with you."

"I've heard that," Oz nods, chewing.

Buffy, lunch forgotten, stares at him. Oz continues to eat, seemingly  
oblivious. He finally looks up, arching a brow.

"What?"

"It's just…doesn't anything ever bother you?"

"Sure. Lots of stuff," Oz said, returning to his lunch.

"You never seem to be…well, passionate… about anything," Buffy  
presses.

"I get over it," He shrugs his non commitment, "or I do something  
about it."

"Oh? Like what?"

Oz shrugs. "Like now."

"Huh?"

"Well, kinda saw how everyone is treating you. Know it's Cordelia  
doing it. I mean, no one else can generate the fear she can, so  
that's why everyone is toeing the line. Cuz they know they'll be  
where you are if they talk to you or stuff. Not everyone hates you,  
Buffy. Most don't even know you. But everyone knows Queen C. So they  
avoid you. I don't. Cuz I like you. You're cool. Kinda dumb  
sometimes, but mostly cool."

Buffy turns away from Oz, wanting to cry so badly she has to bite her  
lip to keep from tearing up. She feels his hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, it's no big, really."

"It's a huge big," Buffy snips, turning back. "I know what a bitch  
Cordelia is, cuz I … I guess I'm just like her. I used to be her,  
back in L.A. I didn't realize …" She looks down, feeling stupid. "I'm  
a total idiot."

"Naw, you're not. You figured it out. Some never get it." He smiles a  
rare smile. "Like I said, you're cool."

"Thanks," Buffy turns and surreptitiously daubs her eyes. She doesn't  
want to have cry face. Not gonna give them the satisfaction. "No  
wonder Willow likes you. You're sweet."

"Really?" Oz seems surprised. It's hard to tell. "No one's ever said  
that to me before." He thinks about it. "Weird, huh?"

"Oh yeah, definitely." Buffy seems to fall into Oz's speech pattern.  
She stares down at her untouched lunch.

"You should eat something. It's not good not to eat."

Buffy looks up sharply to see Willow standing next to her, holding a  
tray.

"Room for one more?" Willow asks Buffy. "Oh… maybe you guys want to  
be alone?" She cocks her head, smiling.

"No, sit," Buffy says, scooting over. She looks at Oz. " Do we?"

"Naw, always good to get the daily dose of Willow," He smiles up at  
Willow. "Sit, please."

Willow sits, like Buffy balancing her tray on her lap. She turns to  
Buffy.

"So, I hear a rumor you've gone gay. And I did it to you."

Buffy blushes pink, and looks down.

"I… I never… I mean, it's cool, but …" She gulps, not sure what to  
say. "You're not like mad at me?"

"Relax, wouldya Buff?" Willow pats her knee. "I over it, ok? I know  
it's not your fault, not really. And, as for the other? I know  
Cordelia started that one, too." She chuckles, "I mean, you, gay?  
Give me a break, ok? Even the thought of it gives you a major  
breakdown…"

"No… I mean… I'm not… but…" Buffy sighs. "Look, Willow, I'm sorry.  
About a lot of stuff. Especially how I've treated you. I mean, you've  
been real… and I was a jerk, ok?" She turns, looking at Willow. "If I  
were like gay, I'd want you to be my girlfriend, you know?"

"Buffy, that's so sweet," Willow grins, taking a bite of her roll."  
But you better stop flirting with me, or Oz is gonna start fighting  
with me over you." She tosses a glance at Oz, who seems to lose his  
native cool for a second, coloring madly. "I think he's sweet on  
you."

"Really?" She says, looking at Oz, catching the blush. "How can you  
tell?"

"Oh, I dunno," Willow says, playing the game with Buffy, to Oz's  
discomfort. "I mean, the boy won't shut up about you. Goes on and on  
how cool you are and everything." She leans in,  
conspiratorially. "Wanted to know if you had a boyfriend."

"That so? Oz? Him? Talking about me?" Buffy acts shocked. "Mr.  
Conversation is like having a root canal Oz? Wow!"

"Oh yeah, he must've gone on for… seconds."

Both girls burst out laughing. Oz sits back, trying to salvage his  
cool.

"I was so overwhelmed at his passion…" Willow chortles. "I just had  
to come over here myself, to meet this Paragon of Buffyness…"

And just as suddenly, she stops laughing.

"And also, to apologize to you."

"What?" Buffy is floored. "Apologize? That's crazy. It's all my  
fault, Will. Really, I'm the one who should be apologizing here. I  
should be on my knees, kissing your feet…"

"Buffy, as appealing as that sounds," Willow teases, " It's not your  
fault. I knew what I was doing, and what I was risking. I knew her…  
but I didn't want to know her. I wanted to know the her I saw once  
that just …." Willow sighs, shoulder slumping. "She's not always like…  
ah, it's hard to explain. But I knew it was gonna get out someway. I  
guess I was hoping Xander wouldn't get so upset. But he had a right  
to. He was right…"

"I was right? Wow, I never expected to hear that one."

Three heads turn sharply left to see Xander Harris standing a bit  
apart, looking strangely awkward and proud at the same time. He's  
looking at the group with a touch of longing.

"Xander!"

"I'd ask to sit down, but the bench looks pretty full." He grins,  
licking his lips nervously.

"Right. Buffy. Didn't we have that thing we had to do?" Oz stands,  
tugging on Buffy's sleeve.

"Yeah, right. Thing. We got that thing." Buffy quickly stands,  
linking arms with Oz. "We gotta go. Sorry. Now."

Almost stumbling over each other, they beat a hasty retreat.

"They're not real good with the subtle, are they?" Xander says,  
watching them go.

"They're new. Give them time." Willow adds in. She turns and looks at  
Xander, who's still standing a bit apart. "Xander…"

"No, Will, please. Let me talk, ok? For once?" He holds up his hands,  
stopping her.

"Ok," Willow subsides, hands in lap.

"See, here's the deal, Will. I got this friend. I really like her a  
lot, you know? She's a real sweet girl. God, I've known her forever,  
I think. At least back to play group, where she broke the yellow  
crayon, and was afraid to tell anyone, cuz she figured she be in  
trouble…" He starts pacing back and forth in front of Willow.

"Yeah, I remember that," Willow says softly. "You said you did it, to  
…"

"Will, please? My story, ok?"

"Sorry."

Xander lets out a sigh. "Thing is, since that day, I knew we'd be  
like this…" he holds up his fingers, crossed over each other. "She's  
the sweetest, kindest, prettiest girl I've ever known. I even had a  
crush on her a couple of times, but I couldn't tell her…"

Willow looks up sharply. That was a new one.

"… but she's like, gay, you know? So no chance for that… but still,  
she means a lot to me… a whole lot."

"Xander…"

"Will, please, you promised," Xander stops, looking at her. "Thing  
is, this girl? I dunno, she's got this major league thing for this  
other girl. That's cool, I mean, it would be, if the other girl gave  
a crap about her. But far as I can see, she doesn't. She just uses  
her. Uses her, breaks her heart, and my friend can't seem to get  
enough of her…"

"Xander… please…"

Xander just looks at her. Willow subsides again.

"I really, really hate what it does to her. She thinks… at least, I  
think she thinks, she deserves that kind of crap. But I don't see it  
that way, you see? But she keeps going back to get more… so I gotta  
figure that's what she feels. And I can't stand it, because I know  
she deserves better. A lot better. It really kills me to see her do  
that to herself."

Willow just looks at him.

" But you know what's worse? I mean, what's really worse than that?"

Willow just stares at him.

"You can ask."

"What?"

"It's when her friend, her jerk wad of a friend, deserts her when she  
needs him most, you know? I think he's a real prick, because how many  
times has she been there for him, and he's been put back together by  
her, huh? I'm meaning me, here, Will. I'm a total asshole, acting  
like I did. And, well, I know she needs me. That she needs someone to  
talk to. But I…I just don't know how to fix it, you know? Cuz,  
frankly, I can't see my life without her in it, somehow, and well…"

Xander kneels beside her, looking up at her.

"You're my best friend, Willow Rosenberg. And your smart and … you  
know stuff. Lots of stuff. So, what should I do?" Xander smiles up at  
her, "I really care about her, but I don't know how to say I'm sorry  
I was a total butthead, you know? I really need to make this right,  
do the right thing here. So, what should I do? Think maybe she could  
forgive me? Maybe we could be friends again? What should I do?"

Willow sits there, looking at him. There's a long pause.

"You know what I think, Xander Harris?" Her eyes suddenly get very,  
very bright. "I think you're probably the sweetest butthead I ever  
knew. C'mere you!" She grabs him, hugging him close. Tears roll  
freely down her cheeks, and she doesn't even care. "I missed you so  
much."

"Not as much as I missed you…" Xander says, doing his best to choke  
back a sob.

"Is that a sob? Did you just sob?" Willow pushes him away, looking at  
his face. "you're crying. I can't believe it. Mr. Macho Harris,  
crying?"

Xander shrugs, wiping away a couple of tears. "Sorry."

"You better not be!" Willow takes him into another monster hug. "God,  
why couldn't you be born a woman? I could so go for you." She kisses  
his ear, the only part of his head not buried in her shoulder.

"Yeah, but with my luck? I'd be born straight…" Xander shrugs. He  
thinks about that. "Eeew. I get it now."

Willow laughs at him. "Pretty frightening image don't ya think?  
Still, this is the closest to wishing I was straight." She ruffles  
his hair.

"Well, we could, and if you don't like it…"

"Xander!"

"Ok, I had to try though, didn't I?"

"Yeah you did," Willow agrees, wiping her eyes. "better not stop,  
either. Even if I look like a raccoon at the moment." She stands  
up. "C'mon, better get fixed up before class. Hate to go with the  
extreme Goth look all day…"

"Hey, you're beautiful."

"Flatterer." She punches his arm.

"Ow!" He rubs his arm. "Lesbo!"

"Neanderthal!"

"Rug muncher!"

They head towards the school.

"Butthead!"

7

Faith pulls her bike into one of the parallel parking spaces in front  
of the gallery, killing the engine and hopping off quickly.

She is not happy to be here, and just wants to get this over with  
quickly. Dressed in her black leather jacket, jeans and boots, she  
strides quickly towards the front door, muttering to herself.

"Whatever she had to say to me, she coulda said it on the phone. Why  
did I have to drag my ass out here, anyway?"

She is so intent on moving forward, she doesn't see the dark haired  
young woman standing in the doorway of the gallery, arms crossed over  
her chest, until she almost runs into her.

"Excuse me," Faith says, coming to a sudden stop. "Are you gonna  
move, or what? I gotta get inside."

"I don't think so." Taylor doesn't move an inch.

"You don't think so?" Faith cocks her head. "You don't think so…what?"

"I'm not moving, and you're not going inside."

"Izzat a fact? That's funny, cuz the owner of the gallery asked me to  
drop by. I'm her friend, so if you don't mind…" Faith feels her  
irritation rising.

"That's just it. I do mind, and I know who you are, Faith. And I  
don't care if Joyce invited you or not. I'm not letting you go in  
there."

"Really? You and who else?" Faith approaches her. "Listen to me.  
Unless you bought the place from Joyce since… oh, yesterday, you got  
no legal right to keep me out. She asked me to be here, and I'm going  
in."

Faith reaches out to move her out of the way. Taylor raises what  
looks like a pistol with the barrel sawed off, and to long prongs  
welded in its place. She touches the trigger, and an arc of  
electricity jumps between the prongs.

"Back off. Know what this is?" Taylor thrusts it at Faith, who backs  
off in a hurry.

"Shit. Get that thing away from me. Yeah I know what it is. Jesus!"  
Faith backs a step. "What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem?" Taylor almost spits the words at her. "You're my  
problem, bitch. You're not going in there and ruining Joyce's life  
again!"

"Ruin her life? What the hell? God, believe me, it wasn't my idea to  
be here. You got a problem with it, take it up with your boss. I'm  
only here cuz she asked me to come."

"Yeah, well, I don't believe it. And even if that's the truth, which  
I doubt, it's because she doesn't know what she's doing!"

"Excuse me?" Faith, despite the Taser being waved at her, leans in a  
little. "Who made you her guardian? Joyce is an adult, she can figure  
this stuff out without your help."

"Not when it comes to you. She's got a blind spot the size of the  
Pacific Ocean when it comes to you! She's nuts about you, and she's  
been a wreck ever since you walked out on her. God, what are you,  
anyway? Are you just playing her?" Taylor advances, waving the Taser  
around . "That's it, isn't it? You don't give a damn about her,  
you're just using her. She's a strong, successful woman with a good  
business, and your seeing an easy ride. What happened? She figure you  
out? Or you just get tired of her? Don't really care, one way or  
another, cuz I'm not gonna stand by and watch you waltz in there and  
trample all over her again!"

She starts poking the Taser at Faith like a trainer poking a stick at  
a caged lion.

"Now get your skanky, jean covered ass back on that bike and get  
outta here, or so help me, I'm gonna use this thing on you and call  
the police. Get them to kick you outta town."

"Jesus, chill. God, I'm going," Faith puts up her hands, backing  
off. "Geeze, maybe you want go back on the meds. Whatta loon!"

"Taylor, where have you been, I've been…" Joyce exits the shop and  
walks right into the scene. "What the hell is going on out here?" She  
sees Faith standing by the edge of the curb, hands up, and Taylor  
poking at her with the Taser. "TAYLOR! STOP IT! What are you doing?  
That's Faith for god's sake!" She walks over, and grabbing her wrist,  
wrests the Taser out of Taylor's hand. "What do you think you're  
doing?"

"I know who that is, Joyce," Taylor says, face flushed. "I'm getting  
rid of a pest." She glares at Faith, who now that the Taser is safely  
not in the psycho's hands, is rather amused. "What're you grinning  
at?"

"You, you loon." Faith says, lowering her hands. "Now that we're back  
on even ground, I should come over there and pound your face into the  
ground…" Instead, she just turns away from Taylor, looking at  
Joyce. "Except I don't beat up on the terminally stupid."

"That's enough, Faith," Joyce says, then looks at Taylor. "As for  
you, young lady, I don't know what possessed you to pull this stunt,  
and I don't care. I think you better go in and collect up your stuff  
and leave."

"Joyce, don't listen to her!" Taylor moves towards Joyce. "She's bad  
news. I told you that, and I'm telling you that again. She's just  
using you, can't you see that? God, you don't have to settle for …"  
she looks at Faith with a sour face."… her kind."

" My kind?" Faith gets her Irish up. "Exactly what's that supposed to  
mean, girl?" Faith starts advancing on the girl.

But Taylor, amazingly, doesn't back down. She stands her ground.

"You know exactly what it means, bimbo! Joyce can do light years  
better than some east coast white trash…"

"Oh, you're looking for it you little…"

"Faith, please. Calm down!" Joyce puts a restraining hand on Faith's  
arm. She turns to Taylor, her face flushed. "As for you, young lady.  
Get your butt in that gallery, now and don't let me see you do  
anything but pack up your things."

"But Joyce, she's just using you, don't you see that….?"

" TAYLOR!! GO NOW!!!" Joyce yells at her, furious.

Taylor looks as if she's been punched in the stomach. She flushes  
red, and pressing her lips into a hard, narrow line, turns and bursts  
through the front door, tromping away across the gallery.

Joyce stands there, stunned. She's never seen Taylor do anything like  
that before. Turning to Faith, she starts to apologize when she hears  
Faith burst out laughing.

"What the… what do you find so funny?" She's as stunned by Faith's  
reaction as she is by Taylor's actions.

"My god, she's a fiery girl, aint she?" Faith laughs, shaking her  
head in disbelief. "Gutsy too… and smart. Probably figured I could  
deck her, so she brings that…" She points at the Taser still clutched  
in Joyce's hand "… to even things up. Gotta admire that spirit."

"Are you as crazy as she is? She nearly attacked you, Faith. She's so  
fired I can't even think how much…"

"You're going to fire her? God, don't do that!"

"Ok, now I know your crazy… "

"Joyce, listen to me…" Faith sobers up, suppressing the  
laughter. "I'm not saying I think she's right. She's way off base,  
but you can't buy the kind of loyalty that girl just showed you."

"Ok, did I just step into a Lewis Carroll story or something? She  
attacks you like a crazy woman, and you're standing here, defending  
her?"

"Don't you get it, Joyce? She just went to the wall for you. Do you  
got any idea how rare that is? She risked everything, including her  
job and your friendship, to protect you. Ok, she's got some really  
strange ideas about me, and I don't want to know where she got them…  
but god, I gotta admire that girl's guts. She's a rare one, Joyce,  
and a keeper."

"The only thing that girl's going to be keeping is a place in the  
unemployment line. There's no excuse for that kind of behavior. What  
if she did that to a client?"

"Has she ever done anything like that to a client?"

"No, of course not. I would've fired her on the spot. Like now!"

"Well, if you do, you're making a big mistake. I'm not a client,  
Joyce. I'm someone, who in her view, attacked someone she cares a lot  
about. She really must admire you, Joyce, to do something insane like  
that. God, I'd give anything to have someone who cared that much  
about me!"

A ton of guilt drops on Joyce. Oh my god…

"I can't just let her get away with that, Faith…" Joyce covers.

"No, you can't," Faith says quietly, seeing the look on Joyce's  
face. "You gotta go in there, put the fear of God in her so she never  
pulls something like that again, but don't fire her, Joyce. She's  
obviously loyal to the bone to you."

"I don't know…" Joyce says, shaking her head. "I'll think about it…"

"Well, it's your choice. Just puttin' in my two cents."

They stand there for a few beats, and an awkward silence develops  
between them.

"Uhhh… maybe we should go inside. We can go to my office…"

"No thanks. Don't think I wanna be in the same building that little  
hurricane is in…" Faith crosses her arms over her chest. "So, what  
did you want to talk to me about, anyway?"

"Look, Faith. Taylor won't make any more trouble, I promise. I just  
would prefer to do this inside. I'd be more comfortable in there…"

"Yeah, well, it's what you say is important, Joyce. Not where you say  
it. You can tell me what you got to tell me right here."

God, you're a stubborn, mule-headed…

"Ok, we'll talk here," Joyce says, obviously not pleased. "It's about  
the girls…"

"The girls?" Faith frowns, "What have they got to do with anything?"

"Can I finish, please?" Joyce asks, annoyed.

"Go ahead," Faith shrugs.

"They were suspended from school a few days last week…"

"You told me that, remember?"

"Yes, of course," Joyce had forgotten about the car incident. "Thing  
is, it was for fighting … with each other. And they're still  
fighting… I mean, they fought before, but never like this. They  
barely talk to each other, and when they do it's all snippy and  
sarcastic. I don't know what to do…"

"Did you talk to them? Try to suss it out?"

"Of course I did. It seems like a thousand times, but both shut up  
tighter than clams, and I can't get a straight answer out of either  
of them. I just wish I knew what it was about, so I could help them.  
It might be about Hank or …" She sees Faith's sour face. "… I don't  
know what, but whatever it is, it's serious… and I'm at my wit's end."

"Joyce, I'm sorry to hear that," Faith voice softens a hair, "but I  
really don't gotta clue why your telling me. I'm no child rearing  
expert. Hell, I'm barely more than a child myself." That last part is  
dripping with just a hint of acid. "All I know is what my parents  
taught me, and I'm thinking you don't want that solution…"

Joyce looks at her, puzzled.

"Beat their asses until they're glowin' red, and if that don't work,  
kick their asses outta the house."

"Faith…" Joyce's voice goes soft.

"Joyce, want to cut to the chase here? I gotta go home and change for  
work. What do you want?"

"Ok, ok. Faith, they like you. They trust you. I'm hoping if you were  
to talk to them, they might tell you something about what's eating  
them…"

"Excuse me? Couple of problems here. First of all, Dawn might like  
me, but Buffy? I don't think that girl likes me very much at all.  
And don't ya think they might get a little suspicious iffen I show  
up like some Mary Poppins, sweeping in to kiss away the boo- boos and  
making the troubles fly away? They not stupid, Joyce."

"I know that, Faith. I'm not stupid, either," Joyce puts in her own  
barb. "But I have a business dinner on Friday, and I need someone to  
watch them because they're on restriction. Dawn asked for you, and  
Buffy… well, Buffy didn't object, anyway. So, I was hoping that if  
you showed up, and talked to them…"

Joyce fades out, seeing Faith's expression.

"I gotta admit, Joyce, you gotta pair on your. I thinking I know what  
inspired that girl you employ now…" Faith shakes her head.

"What? What're you talking about?"

"Takes a pair to ask your old girlfriend to watch the kids while you  
go out on a date. Gotta give you that, Joyce. You're gutsy."

"No! God, no! Faith, this isn't anything like that. First of all,  
this isn't a date, it's a business dinner. Secondly, I just want you  
to listen to them, see if you can get them to open up to you. I just  
want to do what's best for them…"

"I'm sorry, Joyce. I can't help you." Faith turns, and walks to her  
bike.

"Faith, please. Not for me, I know you're angry with me. Just for  
them. I know you care about them…"

"You're right, Joyce, I care about them. But you're dead wrong about  
the other. I'm not angry with you, Joyce. That's not the issue  
here." She kick starts the bike.

"You're not? I don't understand… ?"

"That's the problem, Joyce. You don't get it. And I put it right out  
there, and you still don't get it. And I can't draw you any more  
pictures, Joyce. So, unless you do get it, I can't help you. Not with  
the girls, or Hank, or any of it. I'm sorry, but otherwise, it's just  
too much of a mess. Even for me."

Faith looks over her shoulder, then rolls back the bike, preparing to  
leave.

"Faith, wait! Stop! Don't go! Don't leave me! Talk to me!" Joyce runs  
out, trying to catch her.

Faith pulls up to her, and leans over the handle bars.

"That's just it, Joyce. I can't leave somewhere where I've never  
been."

Gunning the bike, she roars off down the street, leaving Joyce to  
watch her go.

Joyce stands there, watching her until she disappears around the  
corner. She turns around, a confused look on her face.

"Never been?" She murmurs to herself, simply not understanding.

Confused, she walks across the sidewalk and enters the Gallery.

8

"I'll get it!"

Dawn calls out from the kitchen, in response to the front doorbell  
ringing. She enters the foyer, carrying a large bowl of popcorn. She  
balances it under one arm as she answers the door.

"Yeah?" She says, flipping on the light.

"Hello. Is this the Summer's residence?" A soft British voice queries  
through the screen.

"This is it," Dawn says, keeping the screen closed. "Can I help you?"

"You must be Joyce's daughter. I'm here to see your mother. Is she at  
home?"

"You're here to see mom?" Dawn asks, a little suspiciously. "Are you  
selling something?"

Rupert Giles laughs softly.

"No, no, this is of a more personal nature. Is she here?"

"You want to talk to her?"

"Yes, if I may."

"MOM!" Dawn yells, not moving from the door. "Some British guy is  
here to see you!"

Rupert Giles, a little unaccustomed to American ways, takes a step  
back from the door. My, Americans tend to have well developed vocal  
chords.

Joyce appears at the living room doorway, peering into the foyer.

"Rupert?" To say Joyce is surprised is an understatement.

"Joyce. Good evening. May I come in?"

Joyce comes to the door, but refrains from opening the screen.

"Dawn, honey? Why don't you take the popcorn into the living room?  
I'll be there in a moment."

"Don't I get to meet British guy?"

"Where are my manners?" Rupert says from the porch. "I'm Rupert  
Giles, a client of your mothers. And I take it, from what Joyce says,  
you're Dawn Summers. Is that correct?"

"Yeah…"

"Hey, what's going on?" Buffy pops her head into the foyer. "Who's  
the guy?"

"This is Rupert Giles, a client of mine," Joyce sounds a little  
off. "Mr. Giles, this is my other daughter, Buffy."

"Pleased to meet you," Giles says, raising a hand and waving.

"Cute," Buffy grins. "What's he doing here?"

Dawn shrugs.

"I'm here to…discuss something with your mother. Nice to meet your  
girls."

"Yes. Some business. If you girls could excuse us?"

"That's our cue, squirt. Let's get lost," Buffy turns, returning to  
the living room.

"Don't call me that, Munchkin," Dawn yells after her, and follows her  
out.

"I thought you were going to call me," Joyce turns back to Rupert.  
She's obviously a little annoyed. She still doesn't open the screen  
door.

"Ah, yes, the call. I suppose I should've rung you up, but frankly, I  
sometimes come off as a perfect ninny on the telephone. So, I decided  
to show up in person, instead. I'm sorry if that was inconvenient…"

"Rupert, as I explained to you earlier, things are a little  
complicated right now…"

"Yes. Complications," Rupert says wryly," Always a nasty business,  
those."

Joyce can't help smiling at the wit and charm. She sighs, and walking  
over to the closet, retrieves a sweater. Shrugging it on, she returns  
to the front door.

"I'll step out…" She opens the screen door, and stepping out onto the  
porch, closes the front door behind her.

Dawn, curious about the stranger, and just generally curious, has  
been watching her mom and "Rupert" from the couch. Seeing her mom  
step out, and close the door, she gets up.

"Where you going, squirt?" Buffy asks, munching on the popcorn.

"Shhh!" Dawn says, walking towards the foyer.

"Hey, if you're going to snoop, you'll never get jack from there…"  
Buffy calls out from the sofa.

"Would you shut up!?" Dawn hisses at her. She stops, and turns to  
Buffy. "I won't?"

"Of course not, moron. The door's too thick."

"Oh yeah, Brainiac? You got a better idea?"

"Well, duh!" Buffy says, getting up from the couch. She crosses the  
room, and goes to the living room window. She gently opens the window  
a crack, then pulls back the curtain a little.

"They're gonna see!" Dawn says, walking over to where Buffy is  
standing.

"No way. Look, you can see them on the porch, but because of the  
overhang, unless they look directly at the window, they won't see  
you. And trust me, they aren't going to be looking at the window…"

"How do you know this?" Dawn says, looking out the window.

"Oh, I wanted to see you slobber all over Xander a couple of  
times… 'Oh, Xander, you're such a hot kisser…' …OUCH!"

"God, Buffy. Don't you believe in privacy?" Dawn flushes, angry  
thinking Buffy has been spying on her when she's been with Xander.

"If you want privacy, get a room. Now shut up, or they're going to  
hear you!"

The two of them watch the tableaux playing out on the porch.

"… I really do wish you'd called, Rupert. I really don't think I can  
make it tomorrow night. I can't seem to find anyone to stay with the  
girls." Joyce tells a white lie, to spare his feelings. Frankly,  
after the scene at the gallery this afternoon, Joyce is reconsidering  
the whole dating thing. I'm thinking, a nice convent would be nice  
right now. Small cells, lots of prayers, and no dating allowed!  
What's the bad?

"I'm sorry. I don't understand," Giles looks puzzled. "I mean, your  
daughters seem old enough to be left on their own for an evening…"

"Of course they are. Except, they're on restriction. Meaning someone  
has to be here to be sure they stay put. You know how teens are about  
rules…"

"I remember I wasn't overly fond of them when I was a lad, yes."  
Giles nods, "Still, couldn't you put the girls on their honor? Tell  
them you'll trust them and all, and then do trust them? I'm not an  
expert, and not advising you on how to raise your daughters, but it  
seems that would be better than putting yourself on restriction  
because you put them on restriction."

" I think I like this guy already," Buffy whispers, listening in.

"You just want to be able to skip out on restriction, Buffy," Dawn  
says, frowning. She's not liking this conversation much.

"You're so wrong, squirt. I'm tired of being on restriction, yeah,  
but I don't want to add to it. I want to get off sometime before I  
graduate…"

"Shhh!"

"Do you have kids, Rupert?"

"Ah, no… I wanted children, but my ex-wife never seemed interested. I  
think she was saving herself that way for the gardener, perhaps."

"Well, if you had kids, especially teenage kids, you'd know there's a  
biological imperative for them to bend, push and break any rules they  
can get away with. I love my daughters, but if I let them just stay  
home alone with no one to watch over them, they're going to be really  
tempted to skip out…"

"Isn't there someone you could call, Joyce? I really want to have  
dinner with you…"

"It's a date. It's so a date…" Buffy says, peeking out over the  
window.

"No way, she said it was a business dinner."

"Business dinner my butt. Did you get a look at the guy? For mom,  
that's majorly stud time…"

"Yeah, but…" Dawn peeks out. " It's not supposed to… I mean, isn't  
she like too old to date, " Dawn covers, remembering that mom hasn't  
told Buffy about Faith.

"Oh please, ye of little brains. Just because mom is like… old…  
doesn't mean the juices don't still flow. This is so a date…"

what's going on here? Dawn thinks, looking out at her mom and Rupert  
talking on the porch. I mean, she said she loved Faith. Doesn't that  
kind of… well, cut out guys? So, what's the 411 with the British guy?  
Why is she making a date with him, if she wants to be with Faith? Can  
you vague it up a little more for me, please?

"It's not only the girls, Rupert. It's also my ex. He's here in town,  
and well… I know if he finds out I'm dating, he's going to make some  
trouble with the divorce…" Never mind what happens if Faith were to  
find out I'm dating someone… damn, I knew I shouldn't have done this…  
still, he's cute and charming…

"Ah, well, yes, I remember you talking about… what was his name  
again?"

"Hank?"

"Yes, one of those charming American names. Anyway, this Hank fellow  
needn't know…"

"Yes, but if he does know, I know he'll make trouble about the  
custody… you know how spiteful ex spouses can get…"

"Yes, I do, actually," Rupert remembers how much it cost him to rid  
himself of his ex wife. "but, I really do have that covered…"

"I'm sorry, how do you figure that?"

"Well, I made reservations at Maison del Mar…"

"Isn't that that rather exclusive club overlooking the sea cliffs… in  
Santa Barbara?"

"Yes, exactly. And that would solve the problem of Hank finding out,  
as we would be enjoying a fine meal in another town." Rupert  
smiles. "Hardly anyone he would know would likely to be there."

"Not anyone I would know, either," Joyce protests. "That's rather…  
over the top for a first date, don't you think?"

"I get the pleasure of spending an evening discussing art and artists  
with a charming, beautiful woman. That's a rarity, at any price."

God, he lays it on thick. Not that I'm hating it, mind you…

Joyce walks over, and sits on the porch swing. Rupert moves to join  
him, but she puts her hand up.

"Give me a moment, ok?"

"Sure." Rupert says, walking to the porch post and leaning against it.

Ok, this is crazy. I should just make some polite excuse, and  
decline the invitation. I can't see how this will do anything but  
make life more complicated… Still, it would be nice to have a nice  
meal without worrying about the nightly fight. And, with adult  
company that actually gets what it's about being in the middle of a  
divorce. And Faith pretty much seems determined not to be part of my  
life. So, what's the problem here? I know if I ask her, I can get  
Mrs. Blankenship to stay with the girls for a few hours… and hey, if  
they're bored with her, too bad. Maybe they'll learn not to fight so  
much… god, this is crazy. Really crazy…

"Ok, I'm in," Joyce says, standing up.

"Really?" Rupert pushes off the post. "You're sure now? I mean, I  
don't want to show up tomorrow night and find you still debating the  
point…"

"No, I'm in. I really could use a nice evening with an adult … be a  
nice change…" She smiles at him.

"Well, I can't say I'm displeased with your decision," Rupert  
smiles. "But, what about the girls? I mean, you seemed ready to think  
they would run off and join some cult a few minutes ago…"

"I'll find someone to stay with them," Joyce says. "So, what time  
tomorrow?"

"Is eight too early? Too late?"

"Eight sounds fine."

Dawn and Buffy look at each other. They quickly move away from the  
window, and head for the couch.

"You're right, it's a date," Dawn says, staring at the front door.

"Well, duh. I am smarter than you, squirt."

"Oh, gimme a break. You just got lucky," Dawn punches her.

"HEY! What's that for?" Buffy rubs her arm.

"For being a butthead, butthead."

"You're the butthead," Buffy retaliates with a punch of her own.

"Ow, knock it off, moron." Dawn shoves Buffy.

"You knock it off, squirt!" Buffy shoves her back.

"Don't call me squirt!" Another shove from Dawn.

"Don't call me moron!" Another shove from Buffy.

"Hey, hey, you two!" Joyce is standing in the living room doorway,  
hands on hips. " Can't I leave you alone for even 10 minutes without  
getting into it?"

"She started it!" Buffy points at Dawn.

"You are such a liar! You started it…"

"Well, I'm stopping it!" Joyce walks over, standing in front of  
them. "That cuts it. I was thinking maybe you two were mature enough  
to be on your own tomorrow night while I was at the business dinner…"

Dawn and Buffy giggle.

"Is something funny?" Joyce looks at them.

"No."

"Sorry, mom."

"Anyway, it seems I was wrong. So, I'm calling Mrs. Blankenship to  
stay with you until I get home…"

Groans from the Summer's chorus.

"Well, you have no one but yourselves to blame…"

"What about Faith? Did you call Faith?" Dawn asks.

"I did, and I'm sorry, but with school and a new job, she's just too  
busy to come… so, I'm afraid, it's Mrs. Blankenship…"

"Couldn't she come? For just a couple of hours? I mean, she could  
study here, couldn't she… or something?"

"I'm sorry, Dawn but I asked and she just can't make it."

"That blows…"

"Oh, cheer up, Squirt. I'm sure your girlfriend will be able to make  
it another time…"

"Faith is not my girlfriend. I mean, she's a friend, sure, and a  
girl, but…not like that… remember, I have a boyfriend… and anyway…"  
She smiles evilly, looking at Buffy, "It's not my locker with "DYKE"  
painted on it in red…"

Buffy blushes furiously. "That's… just stupid crap…"

Joyce's mom radar, however, starts to vibrate.

"Buffy? Is there something we should know?" She comes over and sits  
next to Buffy. "I mean, if… that happens to be… I mean, if your  
attracted to other girls, maybe we should…"

"Oh for god sakes! Gross, mom!" Buffy almost explodes off the  
couch. "Get it straight! I'm not a dyke, ok? Not a lesbo, not a rug  
muncher. That was just painted by some … Witches at school… that  
really hate me, ok? Are we clear here! No gay crapolla here, got  
it!!!!"

"Geeze, Buffy. Homophobe much?"

"Dawn, that's enough." Joyce looks at her with some annoyance.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry my sister is a homophobe. Geeze…" Dawn gets  
up, and heads for the stairs.

"Where you going, Dawn?"

"Upstairs… I got homework to do… " She trots upstairs before any more  
questions can be brought up.

"Buffy, if… well, if you do find yourself attracted to women, it's  
nothing to be ashamed of…"

"Mom, last time. I'm NOT gay, ok? It was a mean joke, that's all!"

"Ok, honey," Joyce backs off. "But, you know you can talk to me about  
this stuff, ok?"

Buffy just makes a noise, and throwing up her hands, walks away and  
goes upstairs.

Joyce lets out a sigh, and settles on the couch.

"Well, Joyce, that was real nice parenting there. Hope you got room  
for that Mother of the Year award coming your way."

She's beginning to think that that convent is sounding better and  
better.

Dawn shuts the door to her room, and immediately heads for her cell  
phone.

This whole mom dating thing is not exactly something she's liking.

Mom's supposed to be with Faith. I mean, she said she loved Faith.  
So, what's the deal with dating this … guy? Ok, the whole girl thing?  
Not exactly getting it. But I know Mom was happy when Faith was  
around, and … well, ok, I was happy when Faith was around. God, so  
much better than with Bitter Buffy. God, she's a joke!

Nope, I really don't think I want mom dating this… British guy. I  
think…

Dawn picks up her cell phone, and dials a number. She waits  
impatiently while the phone rings and rings.

"Hey, Faith? Dawnie… how are you? Yeah, I'm ok… hey, I gotta tell you  
something…"

Next door, Buffy also has her cell phone. She's not calling Faith,  
however.

She's actually not calling anyone. She just has the phone open,  
staring at the number on her speed dial.

I should call him. He asked me to call him if mom started going out  
with someone.

But she doesn't dial the number. She just stares at the phone.

He said he needed to know. So he could get custody. So… I should call  
him, right? I should…

She can't forget, however, when she needed to talk to him, he was too  
busy. And she can't forget that something else is going on…

She frowns, and in anger, snaps the phone shut. She puts it on her  
dresser, and almost throws herself on her bed, laying on her side,  
clutching her pillow.

And she broods. Everything is so confusing from her perspective. She  
doesn't know what to think.

Why does it gotta be this way? Why does everything have to be such a  
mess, anyway? Why can't we go back to being a family again? Why does  
it have to be one or the other? I want BOTH my parents… I need them…  
Why is he doing this to me? Spying on mom? I don't want to! I want… I  
just want… Buffy bites her pillow, to muffle a sob… I don't want to  
do this anymore. I want to go back, take it all back. I've screwed up  
everything. I… it's my fault, I know it is. I never… it was wrong,  
doing it.

She feels as if her stomach is tied up in knots. She takes a breath,  
and feels that dryness that comes before being sick.

Oh, please… no… I don't want to be sick again. Why am I getting sick?  
I… I know what it is… oh god, why?

I'm being punished, I know I am. Something's wrong… I'm never late…  
but… oh god what am I gonna do? Everyone hates me already. If I'm… I  
can't even think it… but… what am I gonna do? No! NO! I don't deserve  
this… I was just trying to make things better. I can't be… I WON'T  
be… I'm… it's going to be ok. I'm… just late… I…

Buffy grasps the pillow to her, rocking and crying, trying not to be  
heard. Her stomach feels queasy, like it's all acid and burning. And  
then a sharp pain, followed by a wave of nausea.

Oh, no oh no oh no, no, no !

Buffy gets up, feeling dizzy. Stumbling, crying and scared, she runs  
for the bathroom.

9

"So, you see class, as I've demonstrated on the board, if you factor  
X, and then solve for Y, you'll come out with…"

Dr. Ansbush stops when he sees a hand raised.

"Yes? Did you have a question about the problem, Ms. Summers."

"Uhhh… not really. Ummm… well, I'm kinda feeling a little… I really  
need to use the restroom?"

"You're not sure?"

The class laughs.

"I'm sure. I need to use the bathroom." Buffy blushes.

"Couldn't it wait a minute, Ms. Summers? I'm almost done here."

"Well, you see… ummm… I'm feeling kind of sick…"

More laughs.

"That'll be enough," Dr. Ansbush walks down to Buffy, putting a hand  
on her shoulder. "Ms. Summers, if you're feeling unwell, maybe you  
should see the school nurse."

"No! I mean, no, it's not like sick…sick… I'm kinda having woman  
problems…" She fades out.

And yet, more laughs and titters.

She gets the expected reaction from Dr. Ansbush. Confusion with just  
a hint of disgust at the subject. He quickly retracts his hand.

"Ah, yes, ok. Well, why don't you take care of that, Ms. Summers,"  
Dr. Ansbush pulls a pad out from his coat, scribbling something on  
it. "Here's a hall pass for you."

"Thank you, sir," Buffy snatches the pass from him, then stands up  
and collects her books and purse. She smiles weakly, then quickly  
turns and beats a hasty retreat from the class.

Someone else is watching the little drama from another part of the  
room. Willow Rosenberg has a worried look on her face.

She's been acting weird all morning. When she came to school a little  
late, I teased her about it, and she nearly bit my head off. Then,  
she turns around and apologized profusely, saying she was feeling a  
little sick. I asked her about it, and she was all secretive and  
evasivey. Totally weird. I mean, ok, maybe she's getting her period,  
but why would she act so strangely about it? And the other day, when  
she came out of the Nurse's office, she looked really upset… like she  
got some bad news. What happened…? Willow sighs. Ok, now who's being  
a nosey parker? It's probably nothing… but just a little  
embarrassing. Geeze, Will, stop playing Sherlock Holmes and … She  
turns back to the class.

Buffy looks left and right, and seeing the hallway empty, she makes  
her way towards the girls bathroom.

She knows she can't do this during the normal between class times.  
The bathrooms are usually crowded with gossiping girls, and right now  
that's the last thing she needs. Lunch is out too. And she can't do  
it at home. Oh god, if mom found it, she'd have a Guernsey!

Buffy slips into the girl's room, and looks around. Looks empty…  
still, she doesn't want to take any chances.

"Hello? Anyone in here?"

No answer.

"Hello?"

Good, looks deserted. Perfect.

Still, feeling paranoid, she goes to each stall and tries the doors.  
All are unlocked, except the last one with the coin lock on it. Damn…  
someone might be looking for privacy, and hiding in there.

She starts to get down on her knees, and feels a sudden wave of  
nausea. She quickly hobbles over to the closest toilet, and leaning  
over, gives up her stomach contents. Breathing heavily, she pushes  
the plunger, watching the toilet whirl around, washing away her  
regurgitation.

Oh, man, that's so not good. But maybe it's just… stomach flu! Yeah,  
I could have stomach flu…

She gets up, and feeling a little woozy, puts down the lid of the  
toilet and sits. Impatient, she bangs on the wall of the stall next  
to hers… the one with the pay slot.

"Hello, anyone in there?"

No answer.

She digs in her purse, and pulls out a rectangular box. The one the  
school nurse gave her. After she told her about being late. For a few  
moments, she does nothing but stare at it.

Staring at it isn't going to help. It's not going to make it go away.  
Just do it, get it over with. You're not gonna know if you don't…

Sighing, she turns the box over, and reads the directions, again.  
Never mind she's already burned them in her brain.

Directions: Remove probe from plastic wrapper. Probe, that sounds  
pleasant! Place flat end of probe in urine stream. Do not wash urine  
off probe after use. Oh, yuck! Allow five minutes for results. A "+"  
sign indicates pregnancy. A " – " sign indicates no pregnancy.

Caution: Results may be inconclusive. Oh, that's helpful! While  
product has a 98 accuracy rate, no home pregnancy test can guarantee  
accurate results. It is recommended that you see your physician as  
soon as possible on completion of testing. Right, that's so going to  
happen. Because I want my mom and everyone to know what a whore I am.  
Uh-huh!

Buffy sits there for a few more moment, eyes closed. God, why can't  
this all just go away? She sighs, and opens her eyes, and opens the  
box. Ok, then, let's just get this over with…

Buffy emerges from the stall a couple of minutes later, holding the  
test probe well away from her body. She goes over to the sink, and  
sets it down on edge. Looking at her watch, she begins the countdown.

Please, please, please! Let it be negative! Please! I promise, if  
it's negative, I'll change, I will! I'll do everything right. I'll be  
good, I promise. I won't give mom anymore trouble, I'll stop picking  
on the squirt… Dawn, I meant Dawn, not squirt. I won't call her  
squirt anymore. I promise! I won't act all snotty and better than  
anyone. I know I'm not better than anyone. Please, just please!

Buffy looks at her watch. It's time. Oh god… she closes her eyes  
tightly, and begins to rock on her heels. It's going to be ok, it's  
going to be ok, I know it, I know it. It'll be negative, it will.  
Still, she stands there, wanting to look at it, and dreading to look  
at it simultaneously. Just look, just look. Stop doing this to  
yourself and look. It's nothing, you're fine, just do it!

Buffy sighs, and slowly turns, picking up the probe. She checks the  
results.

It's positive.

Noooooo! No, no, no, no, nooooo! This can't be right. It's a  
mistake. I can't be pregnant, I can't be pregnant!

She looks again, and it's still the same.

This is wrong. It has to be wrong. It has to be defective! I can't be  
pregnant! I can't!

But she knows in her heart it's not wrong; everything points at her  
being pregnant. The sickness, the mood swings, everything. Oh god  
NOOOO! No! No! NO!!!!

What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I can't be pregnant, I can't  
have a baby! I'm only 17 fucking years old! I … this is… I can't… I  
can't do this, I can't! I can't!

It's not fair! It's not! I'm a good girl, I didn't …I … don't deserve  
this! I don't want this , and I don't deserve this!

Yes you do, yes you do! You lousy slutty whore! This is exactly what  
you deserve. You slept with your daddy, trying to make him stay, and  
now you get what you got coming to you. Quit crying, you slut!

I'm not a slut! I'm not a whore. I didn't mean it, I didn't want to,  
I had to, don't you see? I had to , or he'd leave us. ME! He'd leave  
me! I had to do it, I had to!

You wanted to, you filthy whore. You wanted to, to keep him. You  
thought you could keep him and control him and everything and look  
what you got? Just what you deserve, you piece of filthy shit.  
Nothing, nothing and knocked up. Good going, Buffy. Another Buffy  
victory!

SHUT UP!

Buffy leans on the sink, head down. Her hands grip the sink so  
tightly, her knuckles are white. Little mewling sounds come out of  
her.

Finally, she shakes her head and looks up, seeing a very frightened  
girl looking back at her. God, this can't be happening… but it's  
happening, and you gotta deal… somehow… just pull yourself together.

She splashes water on her face, and dries off, trying to fix the  
ruins of her makeup. Finally, she just straightens up, and grabbing  
the probe and box, she slips them into her purse. She turns, and  
walks to the exit.

She's never felt so alone in her life.

To be Continued.


	22. Chapter 22

A change of seasons, Chapter 20

1

Buffy turns left, heading for the nurse's office. She almost gets a clean getaway when a voice stops her.

"Buffy! Wait up!"

_Oh man, _ Buffy stops and turns to see Willow running to catch up with her.

"Hey, Will. What's up?"

"Actually, Buffy," Willow pulls upside her, "I was gonna ask you that. You were in the restroom a long time."

"Huh? Oh, well… I guess I'm catching something… stomach flu I guess… and I'm cramping, wouldn't you know? Can't catch a break here."

"Hey, if you're feeling bad maybe you should see the school nurse."

"Two great minds, thinking alike and all. I was just going there…"

"I can go with, if you want…?"

"Naw, for what? Gonna hold my hand? Just think what that would add to the rumor mill," Buffy smirks. "I'm fine, Will. Just need something to ease the cramping and stuff. Don't sweat it."

"Ok, Buff…" Willow sounds doubtful. "If you need me…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know where you live," Buffy smiles. "Now shoo before you're late to class and ruin that perfect record of yours. Or something…"

"Seeya at lunch?"

"Yeah, count on it," Buffy says, turning back the way she was going ."Bye."

"Bye, Buff." Willow turns and starts towards class, then remembers something. _Crap! The assignment! I forgot to give it to her._

She turns to catch Buffy, but she's nowhere to be seen. _Wow, she must've been in a hurry._ Willow looks puzzled. _Wonder why? OH, stop it! _

Willow makes an impatient noise with herself, and disappears down the hall to her class.

Buffy looks around the corner of the set of lockers she darted behind, seeing if Willow is really gone. _Last thing I need is Willow following me to the nurse's station. God, If she found out about…_

"Hey, Buffy. Who're you hiding from?"

Buffy almost leaps a foot in the air, and turns to see Dawn behind her, staring at her.

"God, squirt, just go for the coronary, ok?" Buffy hisses at her, angry at being scared. "What do you want?"

"Nothing from you, your Grumpiness! I just saw you ducked behind the lockers and wondered what you were doing… my mistake…"

"Why aren't you in class?"

"I'm going, _mom!_ Just … oh, forget it," Dawn turns and storms off.

Still, she has a little grin on her face, despite how mad Buffy made her. _God, she jumped a mile. Too cool. _ Dawn snickers as she disappears down the hall.

_God, just what I need. Snoopy squirt checking on me. _ Buffy watches her disappear down the hall, then turns and heads towards the nurse's office.

"I'll be with you in a moment. Have a seat."

Buffy walked over and plopped down in one of the available chairs in the nurse's office. She sat, watching as the nurse finished up with another student.

"Well, it's definitely infected," Gloria Benson, the school nurse looked at the girl's stomach. Her blouse was pulled up, and she displayed a belly ring, surrounded by an angry red patch of skin. "Where did you get this?"

"At the mall," Jamie Hill said, looking down at her stomach. "They do it all the time…"

"Maybe, but they did a sloppy job of it. The ring's gotta go…"

"But…"

"No buts, girl. This is infected. That can be nasty if we don't treat it. The ring's gone."

Before Jamie could protest further, Gloria expertly removed the belly wring, and cleaned the area with antiseptic.

"I want you to go see your doctor as soon as possible to check this out. I think we caught it in time, but I want to be sure. Better safe than sorry, Jamie."

"But… he'll tell my folks…" Jamie complains. "They'll kill me…"

"How did you get this…." She holds up the ring," … without telling your parents?"

"Uh… well…" Jamie suddenly gets quiet, knowing she went too far. Roses bloom in her cheeks.

"You have to have permission to get this done. You can't just…" The light goes on in Gloria's head. "You faked your parent's signature, didn't you?"

Jamie looks away, and shrugs. "They never would've let me get it…"

"Well, considering, maybe they were right…" Gloria frowns. "Whoever did this didn't know what they were doing, and you could get a serious infection here…"

She sees how closed up and defensive the girl is, and sighs. _God, I just wish they'd think before they did this stuff._ She walks over, getting a bandage out of the cabinet on the wall.

"I'm not trying to lecture you here, Jamie. I just want you to think. This could lead to complications… things that could really hurt you." Putting some gel on the bandage, she covers the wound. "I'm not kidding. You need to see your doctor."

"Ok," Jamie says reluctantly. Of course, it's an act. She doesn't plan to see her doctor at all. "Can I go now?"

Gloria looks at her, feeling frustrated. She knows good and well Jamie probably won't see her doctor, but she's limited what she can do because of school policy.

She walks over, and opens a drawer in her desk. She pulls out some pamphlets, and returns, handing them to Jamie.

"Here, something to read while waiting for your doctor," Gloria hands her the brochures.

Jamie looks at the brochures, then looks up at Gloria.

"Why're you giving me these?"

"Because of that little talk we had the last time you were here."

"But… he'd never… he loves me…"

Buffy, overhearing the conversation, has to suppress a bitter chuckle. _Oh yeah, tell yourself that, girl._

Gloria, for her part, wonders how many times she's heard that line.

"Take them anyway. Consider them homework."

"From the nurse?"

Gloria just looks at her with a stern expression.

"Ok, ok. Can I go now?"

"Yes, Jamie," Ms. Benson goes over, and retrieving a pad, writes something on it. "Here's your pass. Come back in a week. I wanna see how that tummy's doing, ok?"

"Sure."

Jamie quickly exits. Gloria wonders if she'll come back at all. _What can I do about it? The district ties my hands on anything…_

She turns and looks at Buffy.

"Hello, Buffy. So, what can I do for you?"

"She's not going to do it, you know," Buffy stands up, walking to the nurse. "Go to her doctor, that is."

"I know, but that's all I can do. That's all the school lets me do." She indicates for Buffy to hop up on the table. "But never mind Jamie. How're you doing?"

Buffy looks away, dreading this moment. Then swallowing her fear, she pulls out the box, and hands it to the nurse.

Gloria looks at the box, and frowns. " I gave this to you nearly a week ago, Buffy. Why did you wait so long to come back in?"

Buffy follows Jamie's example, and blushes. "I forgot."

"You forgot?" Gloria opens the box, and takes out the probe. She looks at it, and her frown deepens. "You forgot you might be pregnant?"

"No, I forgot I had it. I just used it this morning…" Buffy seems to scrunch up, trying to withdraw further in herself. "I guess I'm …. "

"Pregnant, Buffy," Gloria looks at the indicator again. "Probably…"

"I might… it … is it wrong?" Buffy looks up, hopefully.

Gloria hates to dash her hopes. "Probably it's right, Buffy. But there's a tiny chance for a false positive. You should see your doctor…"

She sees the curtains descend behind Buffy's eyes, and she sighs.

"Buffy, this is serious. If you're pregnant, you need a doctor's care more than ever. You can't just pretend this isn't happening…"

"Couldn't it be a mistake? You said it could be wrong…"

"The only way to be 100 percent sure is to see your doctor, Buffy," Gloria nods, "But this test is pretty accurate…"

Buffy lowers her head. Any last reprieves seem very, very unlikely.

Gloria walks over, putting a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"Buffy, have you told the boy yet?"

Buffy looks up sharply. "I… I can't do that…"

"Buffy, he has to know. He's part of this. He has responsibilities here, too."

"I can't tell him, don't you see? He… I just can't…"

Gloria's face grows a little sterner. "Buffy, you can't just pretend this isn't happening. And not telling the boy isn't a good idea. He has to know that there's consequences for his actions."

"I'm sorry, but I…"

"Buffy, even if you don't want to do it for yourself, what about the next girl?" Gloria presses. "What if he does this to another girl. Is it fair that he just can …"

"I can't!" Buffy hops off the table, starting towards the door. "This was a big mistake."

"Buffy, wait. Ok, ok, this is your decision. I get that." Gloria appeases her, hoping not to lose her totally. "I didn't mean to press so hard."

Buffy turns back. Her face isn't angry, only sad. "You …I know you meant well. But you can't help. No one can." She starts to turn away.

"Buffy, there are options…"

Buffy looks at her.

"You have to decide if you want to have the baby, or terminate the pregnancy.

Buffy closes her eyes, as if in pain. She doesn't say anything, however.

"Either way, there are options." Gloria goes to her desk, and taking out her key ring, opens the bottom drawer. She pulls out some literature.

"I want you to read these, Buffy." Gloria hands her a small stack of pamphlets. " They outline what options you have concerning your pregnancy…"

"Can't you just tell me?" Buffy looks at the stack of brochures and flyers.

"School policy, Buffy. I'm not allowed to… discuss this."

Buffy thumbs through the pamphlets, looking at the various titles.

"That blows. How am I supposed to figure this out?" She looks at Gloria.

_God, how _is_ she supposed to do it? But they won't even let me talk about it, at all. _

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I really am. I'm not even supposed to give you some of those pamphlets. But… you should know the whole range of choices."

"This sucks," Buffy mutters, jamming the pamphlets in her purse. "Guess I was right, huh? You can't help me." She looks up at Gloria, and smiles. It's kind of a hard, bitter smile. "Got myself into this, guess I gotta figure out how to fix it myself. Thanks. Loads."

Before Gloria can say anything else, Buffy is through the door and gone.

_Sometimes I just hate this job. _

_Almost every day, actually. _

She closes the door behind Buffy.

2

Dawn is on a mission.

Exiting her last class before lunch, she looks this way and that, to avoid anyone she knows. Then, she craftily inserts herself into the crowd, letting the flow carry her outside.

_Perfect cover!_ She congratulates herself, mussed up a little by the crowd. _Hey, watch hand there, buster!_ She glares at a freshman, who withers under gaze. _That's private property, you know! Grrrr!_

Once the crush is through the doors, Dawn maneuvers her way to the edge of the crowd, and as they pass on to the cafeteria, she makes her escape.

Keeping close to the buildings so not to be obvious, she makes her way to a remote part of the campus. Every once in awhile, she ducks behind a corner, and looks, watching to be sure she's not being followed. Finally, she cuts across the lawn, and sits under the shade of a large tree.

_Good, all alone. No one can spot me now!_ Dawn chortles. _Operation Get 'em together must continue! The fate of the free world, and hey, my family, depends on it. Ok, now, you know what to do, Agent Dawn. Be crafty! Be clever! Be careful! You mustn't get caught, or we'll disavow any knowledge of your actions! Ok, now!_

Dawn, ever vigilant, looks left and right, and satisfied she's truly alone, pulls her cell phone out of her purse. Scanning the area one more time for any possible enemies, she opens it and dials a number. She waits, listening to it ring.

And ring.

And ring.

Finally, almost ready to abort the mission, the other end is picked up.

"Hello? Mrs. Blankenship? This is Dawn. Dawn Summers. Joyce Summers Daughter? Right, yes, Dawnie Doo…" Dawn rolls her eyes. "I'm fine thank you. How are you?" She listens, tapping her fingers and making little faces as Mrs. Blankenship gives her a history of the morning. "Yes, I am in school, ma'am. What? Oh, no, I'm on lunch. Right… Mrs. Blankenship? Why I'm calling is about my mom. Oh, no, she's fine. Yes, she's at work, yes. As a matter of fact, she called me from there. See, I know she called you to stay with us tonight because she had to go out to a business dinner… yes, ma'am…and she just called me here on my cell phone. I guess the client that she was meeting at dinner had to go out of town this evening, so they're moving the meeting up to a lunch. Yes. Lunch. So, anyway, she wanted me to tell you that she won't need you to come over tonight. No, yes… why didn't she call you herself?" _Damn! Wait… ok, I got it…_ "See, thing is, she's stuck in a business meeting, and she couldn't break away to get your number… but she had mine, so she called me to call you to tell you… yes, right. Uh-huh. So, you see? You won't need to come over tonight. Yes, that's right. Oh. Empanadas? You were making empanadas for me and Buffy? How nice!" Dawn mimes gagging. "Oh, and you were going to bring slide of your trip to Vera Cruz. What? Have we seen them before? No, I don't think so, ma'am…" _Like only a bajillion times…_" what? Oh, yes, that's too bad. Maybe we can do it another time. Yes. Right. Ok then, so you understand. You don't have to come over tonight. Right. Ok, well… yes… really?" Dawn listens, as Mrs. Blankenship describes in excruciating detail about her trip to the market, with the attendant eye rolls, faces and finger tapping. "Yes… Oh my, there's the bell now. Gotta go to class. Right. Yes, of course. Another time. I'd love to. Right. Goodbye, Mrs. Blankenship. What? Oh… yes…ok, bye bye…" Dawn clicks the phone closed before Mrs. Blankenship can think of something else to say.

_Man, that was hard. Impossible, nearly mind bendingly painful. But mission accomplished. Oh yeah! Score another one for Agent Dawn! YAY!_

Dawn gets up, and slips the phone in her purse. "Man, I'm good!" She declares. "No, wait. I'm great! Oh yeah!" She starts doing a little dance, stamping her feet and jumping around, hands clasped over her head. "I'm good! I'm great! Oh yeah! I rock! You know it! Oh yeah!"

"What do you think? Great?" A voice interrupts Dawns victory dance. She's so startled, she nearly falls down. She whirls to see…

Xander and Willow, standing watching her. She turns about 7 shades of red.

"Oh yeah. I definitely say great," Xander nods, seriously. "A 10… maybe an 11!"

"What? What're you guys doing here? Can't a girl get some privacy? How long have you been standing there?" Dawn is flustered, embarrassed and more than a little perturbed.

"Last first?" Willow asks Xander.

"I think so, "Xander says, agreeably.

"Ok, then. Just a minute or two. Yes, but find a spot that we don't use all the time, We saw you as we came here, so we thought we'd say hi, and what? What?"

"Are you guys spying on me? Are you like following me?"

"Uhhh… no, like I just said, we come here to talk about stuff. We've had this spot for years. Almost nobody comes here. So, if you want absolute privacy? Find your own spot!"

"How come you never brought me here?" She turns to Xander.

"Uh, well, this is kind of me and Will's place. Our place to be alone and talk when we need to. You know? Private like."

"Wait a minute. You two? Are together? You're talking? To each other?" Dawn looks confused. "When did this happen?"

"Well, yesterday, actually. At lunch. When Xander came over and apologized to me…"

"I didn't apologize, I simply stated my position, and admitted to being a butthead."

"But, you two aren't fighting anymore?" Dawn looks at them warily.

"Nope. We're good. Friends again, and all that stuff."

"ALL RIGHT!!! YAY!!!" Dawn, in a burst of enthusiasm, flings herself at them, arms outstretched to hug them.

Dawn isn't very heavy. Maybe 105 soaking wet. Still, she has weight, and when your not expecting 105 pounds of enthusiastic girl to come flying at you, the inevitable happens.

She knocked the both of them over, and they landed in a heap on the ground.

"GEEZE!" Willow says, shaking herself off and sitting up. "What hit us?"

"WHOA!" Xander, likewise prone, brings himself to a sitting position. "Supergirl, or what?"

"That's Ms. Supergirl to you, Mr. Xander Harris," Dawn gets up, having taken the worst of it. "And hey, what am I doing talking to either of you! I'm still mad at you!"

Brushing off, trying to recover what few shreds of dignity she has left, Dawn stands up and turns around, back to the pair.

"Yeah, we know…" Willow starts.

"… but we were kinda hopin'…" Xander continues.

"… that somehow you could find a way to forgive us for being mega poopheads."

"Hey, I wasn't a mega Poophead…" Xander protests.

"Oh yeah you were, Mr. Harris," Dawn demurs.

"Well, I wasn't any bigger Poophead than she was…" Xander points at Willow.

"Hey, whose side are you on, anyway?"

"Yours. Peace?"

"Oh yeah."

"You guys were both poopheads. Big stinky poopheads," Dawn declares, still turned away from them.

"Yeah, but pookie…" Xander scrambles to his feet, and moves over to Dawn, surrounding him with his arms. "We made nice. Didn't we Will?"

"Right, mega nice.''

"Yeah, and we're all friends and stuff again. Can't you find it in your heart to forgive us, pookie?" Xander leans his head on her shoulder. "Please?"

_'Pookie'? That's the best he can do? Gag!_ Willow thinks, watching them.

"I dunno," Dawn shakes him off, moving away. But not _too_ far away. "I mean, god, how can you two guys do that to each other?"

"It was a fight, Dawn. People fight…" Xander tries to move closer, but she puts up her hand.

"No you don't. That wasn't _just _ a fight. I know what a fight is. I have 'em all the time with my sister. However, no matter how badly we fight, we never threaten to cut each other off. You guys… you're like friends forever. Almost like brother and sister… right?"

"I guess…" Xander shrugs.

"Xander? My brother? Oh please… ok, ok, yes, Dawn, he's like my brother. Honest!"

"You're like family. You should stick together, no matter what. I mean yeah, bitch and complain at each other and even fight. But never threaten to walk away, just because things get tough… god, I'd love to have what you two got. All my friends, the ones I grew up with, they're all back in L.A. I don't have any friends here like that…"

"Hey, we can always go to L.A. and meet them. I mean, you don't…"

"Not the point, Xander," Dawn says. "I mean, we write and stuff. But my life is here now. And I want to make friends… friends I'm gonna have for life, you know? And how can I be friends with you guys, if you're going to split up all the time and junk? I mean, haven't I had enough of that…." Dawn frowns…" I mean with my parents splitting up. You guys got both each, right?"

"You want my parents? You can have them, cheap," Xander jokes.

"When I see them…"

"God, you two don't have a clue. Don't you get it? I'd love for my mom and dad to be together again, to be a family again. But…" She pauses, making the adjustment. "… that's probably not gonna happen. I got my mom, and my dad. But we're not like before. We're not a family. Not really. I can't see my dad any old time I need too, and my mom has to take care of me and my crazy sister without help. It's not easy, and it's … it's important to have family. Family's everything. You both have family… maybe not the greatest, but you got it. And you got each other, and that's even MORE special ,and you're willing to throw it away on a whim. And frankly, I can't understand it, and I don't like it."

Xander and Willow stand there, somewhat wilted under Dawn's tirade.

"We're sorry," Xander says.

"We didn't mean it," Willow says.

"It won't happen again."

Dawn just stares at the two of them, arms crossed over her chest.

"Look, honey," Willow gets up, walking over to Dawn, "what you said the other day? Got through, honest. You're right. What me and Xander have is too important to just throw away. We talked a lot yesterday, and we both agree. If we ever get to the point where we think we might quit, we stop, and take a time out, and talk about it. Really talk, be honest with each other and work it out." She looks over at Xander. "I love the goofball too much not to want him around, you know?"

"Yeah, what she said, only double for me," Xander nods, coming closer.

"Ok, well that's good. That's really good." Dawn nods, "And I'm glad you figured out how to deal with it, you know?" She puts up her hands to stop them from getting closer. "but that doesn't mean _we're _ good. You guys and me. Cuz, you guys put me in the middle. I felt bad when I was with one, but the other was being left out, and vice versa. It just isn't fair, using me like that."

"I know… we know…" Xander says, "And we're really sorry."

"That's good. You should be. It was wrong. But … I just can't go willy nilly getting back with you because what's to say you won't do it again? No, I'm sorry. This isn't that easy to fix. I have to think about it."

"Dawn…"

"No, I said, I have to think about it. And I expect you to respect that."

"You're right, Dawn. I do, I respect that. So does Xander…" there's a pause while Willow waits for Xander to chime in. "Xander!"

"Yes, I respect that. I get it. Ok, we'll… we'll give you time."

"All the time you need, Dawnie."

"Good."

Dawn turns away for a few moments, and then turns back to them.

"Ok, I thought about it. You're forgiven. Hugs!"

Xander and Willow look at her like she's crazy.

"C'mon, c'mon," She opens her arms wide and gestures them in with her fingers. "Hugs all around."

Shaking their heads, the two penitents come in and are surrounded by arms as the three of them hug each other.

"Now, isn't that better?" Dawn asks them.

"Yeah."

"Sure."

"And, I have to say, I get it. I mean, I just have to remember that sometimes, you guys are gonna fight, and maybe do stupid stuff. I gotta remember that this is normal, and that you really love each other, and I have to make allowances for your feelings…"

Willow narrows her eyes.

"You're really loving this, aren't you?"

"What?" Dawn asks innocently.

"The whole moral superiority thing. You're loving it."

"Oh yeah, big time," Dawn nods.

"Well I for one am happy, and starving. Can I escort you ladies back to the café so we can dine al fresco?"

"What did he say?" Dawn asks Willow.

"I dunno. Something about walking back to the cafeteria to get some grub before classes."

"Oh. Cool, I'm in!"

The two take one arm each of Xander, putting him in the middle. He's grinning. He loves having two lovely women on his arms.

"Well, I can honestly say, I'm totally relieved," Xander says. "I mean, making this up. I was so sure I was gonna have to make new plans for the prom…"

"Prom?" Dawn perks up. "You're asking me to the prom?"

"Well, duh. I thought that was a given."

"Wait. Did you say make new plans?" Dawn turns and looks at Xander, frowning. "You were thinking of taking another girl?"

"No… I mean, I would've if we didn't make it up, but I wasn't thinking- thinking about it."

"But you were thinking about it, Xander?" Willow swoops in from the other side. "You were going to strand Dawn here, and take some floozy to the prom?"

"Hey, wait a minute! She broke up with me!"

"But you deserved to be broken up with!" Dawn insists. "Ok, who was it? Who were you going to take to the prom instead of me? Who?"

"Yeah, Xander, who?" Willow cuts off any retreat.

"I…I…" Xander grows more and more confused. "I dunno… maybe Janice…"

"Janice Peterson? You were going to take Janice Peterson to the prom instead of me?" Dawn punches him on the arm.

"OW! Hey!"

"Totally cold, Xander," Willow shakes her head. "I expected better out of you."

"Whose side are you on?" Xander complains, with aching arm.

"Well, in this case, on my Sistuh's side, you know?" She holds up her hand for a high five, which Dawn meets. "Never mess with the XX, Xander!"

"Yeah, don't mess with us!"

_Oh, god! _ Xander moans, as they start to enter the cafeteria. _ I don't gotta chance here…_

Willow glances to her side, and pulls up to a stop.

"Hey, guys, why don't you go on without me. I just remembered I got something I gotta do…"

"Aw, c'mon, Willow," Dawn says, pulling up Xander to a stop. "We just made up and everything. Don't even break up the party now."

"Yeah, Will. And it's lasagna day. You know you like lasagna…" Xander cocks his head. "I hear they even use real meat in it and everything…"

"Tempting as that sounds," Willow puts on apologetic face, "I really gotta go. You guys have fun, 'K?"

"How come you didn't say you had to do something…" Xander looks puzzled.

"Never mind, Xander. Let's go," Dawn pulls on his sleeve. "See you later, Willow?"

_Thanks, Dawnie. I owe you one._

"Count on it," Willow says, turning and slipping out of the cafeteria.

"What's with her?" Xander looks at the doors Willow disappeared through.

"You big goof. Are you that dense? She wanted to give us 'alone time'," Dawn hits him on the arm. "Don't you want to be alone with me?"

"Well, duh," Xander says, accepting her explanation.

"Well, ok then. Now feed me, before I start getting grouchy again…" Dawn gives him 'the look.'

"Right away, your wish is my command, oh most excellent one, " Xander does a salaam for her.

"That's better. Just so you remember who's in charge here…" She starts towards the line, waggling her fingers. "Well, c'mon. I don't got all day."

Xander hurries to catch her, and slipping an arm through hers, leads her towards the line. Dawn glances briefly over her shoulder at the exit doors.

_Wonder what she's up to? Hmmm…_

3

Buffy sits in an isolated corner of the quad, staring at the pamphlets the school nurse gave her. Her lunch sits beside her on the stone bench, forgotten.

_Adoption? Abortion? God, I can't figure this crap out! I can't do this!_ Buffy crumples the pamphlets in her hands, _ this is a nightmare. This has gotta be a nightmare! I'm gonna wake up, and not be pregnant, and everything will be normal again and we're in L.A. and daddy hasn't…_ Buffy stares at the pamphlet crushed in her hands, and stuffs them in her purse,… _hasn't moved away, and we're all happy and a family again. And … oh god, I'm not pregnant… _ Buffy seems to deflate further, falling more into herself. _ God, what am I going to do? I can't tell anyone… not mom… not … anyone… god, what would mom think, if she knew? She'd kill me! And dad…?_ Buffy squeezes her eyes shut at the thought. _Oh god, he'd hate me, too! God, I can't BE pregnant! It's a nightmare, it's a nightmare, it's a bad, bad nightmare and I'm going to wake up and …._

"Buffy?"

Buffy eyes pop open to see someone standing in front of her. She looks up to see Willow's concerned face looking down at her.

"Buffy, what is it? Are you ok?"

Buffy plasters a fake smile on her face.

"Yeah, sure, I'm fine, Willow," She shakes her head, as if impatient. "Why do you keep asking me that? Are you auditioning for the part of my mom? Cuz, if you are, I should tell you, I've already got one!"

"You looked like you're in pain. I was worried…"

"Will, I told you, cramping. And a cold. Not feeling great, remember?"

For the second time, Willow senses something not being said. _Yeah, and when did you become Sylvia Brown, huh? Get over it, Will. _

"Ok, I remember. I … guess I'll be going. I was just concerned…" Willow turns to leave.

"Hey, wait! Do you… I mean, you could stay, if you want … we could sit and talk and stuff…" She moves her tray to make room. "Please?"

"You sure?" Willow bites back a smile. "I mean, you had a good Garbo going here… hate to interrupt it…"

"Well, you weren't around," Buffy says softly, "And Oz… I dunno, I haven't seen him all day… and pretty much no one else's talking to me, so…" She shrugs.

"Hey," Willow sits down next to Buffy, putting her arm around her. "look, this crap will blow over. Cordelia gets bored easily. She'll drop it, and things will go back to normal…"

Buffy laughs bitterly. "Oh yeah. Normal. Right."

"Buffy, what's going on? What…?"

"Guess you haven't heard the latest, huh, Willow?"

"Huh?" Willow gets that feeling in the pit of her stomach. "What?"

Buffy smiles wickedly, and turning, leans in while putting her hand on Willow's thigh. She pouts prettily. "Gee, baby, how could you forget so soon?" She asks, doe eyed.

"What? What are you doing Buffy?"

"I'm really hurt here, honey. I mean, did you forget all about all those wild make out sessions behind the bleachers after school? You know, where we got naked and sweaty and groin-y." Buffy stares in her eyes, then starts chuckling.

"WHAT?" Willow almost falls off the bench, trying to scramble back. "What're you talking about?"

"Actually," Buffy says coolly, "it's what the school's talking about. You and me. After school. Doing the nasty. Now, who you think started that rumor?"

Willow sits there, the color draining out of her face. To bright red spots appear on her cheeks, and her eyes narrow. "Cordelia. Who else?"

"Oh, yeah," Buffy nods, agreeing. "She's vindictively thorough. Gotta give her that one…"

"I don't gotta give her nothing," Willow, her voice hard, stands up. "Except maybe a swift kick to her oversized ass. I've had it with her. I'm so gonna …"

"Will, don't," Buffy grabs her by the sleeve. "Don't, it's not worth it. It'll only make it worse. I… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I just thought better you hear it from me than…"

"No, Buffy. Let me go!" Willow pulls away. She starts off.

"Willow, c'mon, don't!" Buffy, putting on a burst of speed, gets in front of Willow, blocking her. "C'mon, just let it go. Come back and sit with me, please?" She smiles a genuine, sweet smile. "Please?"

Willow, despite her anger, can't help but notice how sweet and charming Buffy can be when she wants to be. She stops, and starts to cool off. _God, Buffy, why do you have to be straight? You can be sooo cute sometimes…_

"All right, I guess…" Willow grumbles, turning around. "But this isn't over, Buffy. She can't keep getting away with this crap."

They walk back to the bench, and sit down. Willow looks at Buffy with a strange expression.

"I don't get it." She finally says.

"You don't get what? Cordelia being a totally snarky bitch? She's evil, Willow."

"No, I get that… what I don't get is why you're not upset. I mean… I'm gay, and being thought of dating you? Not so bad for me. But, I'd expect you to be all…"

"What's the point, Will?" Buffy says, sounding strange.

"Huh?"

Buffy turns to her, and Willow feels a little chill. Buffy's eyes look so… old.

"What's the point? This is high school, Willow. We got what? Half a year to go, max? Why bother getting mad at some …" Buffy waves her hand dismissively,"… some dim bitch's rumors? It's gonna be over soon. And then, who cares about high school, right? Why make a big deal about it?"

"Ok, who are you? What did you do with Buffy?"

Buffy laughs, a deep, genuine from the toes laugh. She puts her arm around Willow, hugging her. "God, Will, there's so much other crap going on. Whatever Cordelia does or doesn't do, who really gives a rat's ass? In like 100 years we'll all be dead, then who'll even remember?"

" Well, that's a cheery thought," Willow says, "ok, really now. What did you do with my friend Buffy?"

Buffy just squeezes her shoulders again. "Anyway, I can think of lots of things a lot worse than being your girlfriend, you know?" She smiles at Willow.

"Thanks, I think," Willow looks at her strangely. "Buffy Summers, did you just flirt with me?"

"Maybe, "Buffy says in a sing song voice. "Did you like it?"

"I dunno. Let's see. Cute girl flirts with me. No, I hated it! But, aren't you forgetting oh… something? Some things, actually."

"Eh?"

"Well, for one thing. I'm gay, and you're not."

"Oh yeah. That's right," Buffy plays the dumb blonde." Still…"

"And, what about oh, I don't know a penis?" Willow diverts her, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. _What's with her?_ " And Oz? you seem to be getting… cozy…"

"Yeah. Oz. Right. Bummer." Buffy nods. "That's a problem."

She sits there, pretending to think about it.

"How do you feel about threesomes?"

"Buffy!" Willow blushes scarlet.

"I'll take that as a maybe?" Buffy's tone is arch, "I think you're cute when you're flustered."

"I think…you're mean!"

"What?"

"You're making fun of me, and it's not funny, Buffy. Not funny at all."

"What're you talking about?"

"Is this your way of getting back? Making fun of me because of what's being said around school?" Willow's tone is harsh. "I didn't spread those rumors, Buffy. Cordelia did."

"I know that, Willow," Buffy is bewildered. "What I'm not getting is where this is coming from. I'm not being mean, I'm just kidding around…"

"Oh yeah? Really? The way you acted when I told you I was gay, you almost ran me over trying to get away from me! And you've never really accepted me as a friend, not really. God, you're major league homophobe… and I'm supposed to sit here and believe you're 'kidding around'? You're making fun of me, like I'm some kinda freak! You can't deal with me being gay, so you take it out on me by being crude and suggestive. It's probably killing you that the school thinks you're gay too, and you attack me because Cordelia is being nasty to _you_! How are you any different than she is? Oh, I know … she's at least upfront when she's being nasty…"

Buffy has gone pale. She's just sitting there, shaking.

"I don't even know where to start to say how stupid that is," Buffy begins.

"Oh, you're calling me stupid now, too!"

"Well, DUH! If you think I really give a rat's butt about you being gay, yeah! If you think I'm trying to humiliate you, yeah, you're stupid!" Buffy gets up, looking angrier than Willow's ever seen her. "God, exactly HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM???? Yeah, ok, I admit it. When you first told me your were gay, I was a little wigged. Maybe if you had done it differently, not drop it on me like a bomb, I might not have acted like an idiot. Yeah, I admit to acting like an idiot. But I grew to know you, and respect you, and yeah, like you. Whether you believe it or not, I like you. I think you're pretty damned brave, being out and not taking crap about it."

"But … god, that doesn't give you a right to attack me when I'm just goofing with you. Friends do that, Willow! Get it? But I guess you don't… cuz you don't think I'm your friend. I'm sorry I wanted to be a cheerleader, Willow. I really am. But that's what I knew; who knew that Cordelia would turn out to be a class A bitch. Even I wasn't in her league back in L.A. I never did the things she's done to me and you. And you know what else? How stupid would I have to be to get snarky with the one person that actually is talking to me? You think I like feeling all alone? Think it's fun? Why would I want to hurt you, Will? I know you're not … oh shit, why am I even talking to you? Look at you! You think I… crap…"

Buffy suddenly lets out a small whimper, and goes even paler. A line of sweat appears on her forehead. She reaches back, and grabs her purse.

"Know what? I'm tired of trying. All you people around here… treat me like crap. I'll be damned glad when I graduate so I can … " She hunches over a little, grabbing her stomach. "Shit!" Without another word, she turns and makes a beeline for the school buildings, and the closest bathroom.

"Buffy! Wait, I'm sorry… I … " Willow starts after her, and sees something flutter out of her purse. She stops and grabs it up, then runs after Buffy, trying to catch up with her.

Buffy bursts through the bathroom door, and finding the first stall empty, just closes the door and kneels by the toilet when the little lunch she ate comes back up. She almost collapses over the toilet as sound of her vomiting fill the bathroom.

Willow pushes through the bathroom door moments later, panting. She hears the sounds of someone being sick, and heads for the stall. She tries to open the door, but it's locked.

The smell, however, is strong, and her stomach churns in sympathy.

"Buffy, please, let me in," She knocks on the stall door, "I'm sorry, really… please…"

"Go… away…" Buffy rasps out, then another wave of nausea hits her. She leans over and more comes up.

"Please, Buffy, let me in. Let me help you, please?"

More retching is heard.

"Just go away. That'd help loads," Buffy gasps from the other side of the door. "Can't you people just leave me alone?"

Feeling dizzy, but the nausea eased, Buffy leans over the toilet, trying to get her wind back.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. You're right, I'm stupid. Just… when you … well, goofed around, I got scared. See, I gotta confess. I really have felt attracted to you for … well, since I met you. But I knew you were straight, and I don't … straight girls? Just never work out… so I was hurt when you got all bent in the Bronze about me being gay… and I just accepted you couldn't deal. And then you flirted with me and I … got scared. Really scared cuz… I liked it too much… and I don't want you to hate me…see?"

There's a long silence from the other side. Then the toilet flushes, and Willow hears the click of the door lock being pushed back. She steps back, expecting Buffy to emerge. But when nothing happens, she moves forward, and opens the door.

Buffy is sitting on the toilet, elbows on knees, head down. Her hair is hanging loose in front, covering her face.

"Buffy?"

"Sorry, Willow. I don't feel like that for you. Wish I could. but I can't."

"I know," Willow says softly. "I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, really. I'm so sorry…"

"I do like you," Buffy looks up, and Willow is a little shocked. Her face is puffy and blotchy, and her eyes are too dark. "Pretty, huh?" She reads Willow's expression.

"No, I mean… yes, no. oh god, I'm sorry…"

"I shouldn't have teased you, " Buffy says softly. "I just … well, you were so angry and I was hoping to kid you out of it…"

"Buffy, you're sick. What's going on?" Willow kneels down by her, "You can tell me anything you know."

"God, Will. Don't make a big thing out of it, " Buffy looks down, "I told you, I'm crampy and I think I've got a …"

"Buffy, this fell out of your purse…" Willow hands Buffy the crumpled brochure. Buffy looks at it, and groans. She snatches it away from Willow.

"Doesn't mean anything. I … I got it for a…" She looks up into Willow's soft, sympathetic eyes and her will crumbles. She starts to shake, the tears overflowing down her cheeks. "Oh god, Willow."

Willow reaches out and takes Buffy in her arms, holding her close. Buffy clings to her and sobs.

"Shhh, it's going to be ok, Buffy…" Willow rubs her back. "It's going to be ok now."

"God, Willow, how can it be ok?" Buffy cries, clinging tighter. "I'm in so much trouble. I don't know what to do. I … oh god…" She starts to cry harder, the emotional dams she's built to protect herself crumbling.

"C'mon, Buffy. " Willow gently eases the girl to her feet. "I'll take you home. Then we can call your mom and she…"

"No!" Buffy breaks from her, moving away. "I can't… you can't… you can't tell her, Willow. You can't tell anyone. Promise me! Please, promise me you won't tell!"

"Buffy, you have to tell your mom. She'll…"

"She'll hate me! She already … no, you can't tell her! She can't ever know …"

"Buffy, you're not making sense. Your mom loves you. She'd want to help …"

"She can't help… no one can help, Willow. You can't tell her or anyone else. Promise me, please…"

"Buffy, I can't do that. You need your mom… who's going to deal with the boy's parents who did this to you? She…"

"Nooo… not… no one here did this…I…" She backs against the stall wall, trying to disappear. "It wasn't anyone here that… "

"Buffy… oh god, did some…did an adult do this to you? Were you…?"

"What? No… I wasn't raped… I… you don't understand. I can't tell on him, he'd… no, you can't… please…" Buffy gets down on her knees, wrapping her arms around Willow's legs. "Please, don't tell my mom. Please, Willow, please!" She starts crying again, leaning against Willow.

_Oh god, she's so scared! Poor baby, who did this to her? She's gotta tell… someone… _ She looks down at the miserable girl, and her heart melts. _But she's so scared. I can't … she needs me to be there for her…_

"Ok, ok, honey, it's ok," Willow caresses her hair. "I won't tell anyone. Not til you're ready, ok?"

"Thank you, thank you Willow," Buffy presses against her. "I love you, you know that don't you?"

"Sure, Buffy," Willow reaches down. "C'mon, let's get you home, anyway."

She helps Buffy to her feet.

"No, I'm … I'm ok, I just need to rest a little bit." Buffy sits down on the toilet again, "if I go home now, it'll be suspicious. I just need a little breather."

"Buffy, you're ill. You shouldn't…"

"Willow, please? I'm ok, really…" She looks up, eyes pleading. "I promise I'll lay down when I get home, but for now, I've gotta act normal, ok? Please?"

"Ok, Buffy," Willow agrees reluctantly. She turns as if to go.

"Where are you going?" Buffy suddenly panics. "Can't you stay with me for a little while? We don't have to talk or nothing. Just… it's nice to know you're here …"

"I'm just going to get some wet towels so you can cool your face. You're kind of a mess…"

"Oh, sorry. Kinda… " Buffy shrugs. "You throw up your lunch, see how good you look."

Willow turns, walking to the sink. Getting some towels from the dispenser, she wets them under cool water. She looks at herself in the mirror.

_This is a big mistake, girl. You know you're going to regret this. She has to tell someone. Her mom, or someone… _

_I'll talk to her, convince her. But not now! She just needs someone to hold her hand, tell her it's going to be ok. _

_And if it's not ok? What then?_

Willow turns away from the mirror.

She doesn't know that answer.

4

"Wow! Look at you!"

Dawn and Buffy are in the living room, watching some TV when Joyce walks in, dressed for her date.

Joyce is wearing a black silk three quarter length gown, with an A-line bust. The details around the bust are done in a silver thread, giving it a rich, slightly exotic look. The gown itself is pleated and hangs just below the knees, and split in the front, joining just above the knees, giving it a semi circular effect around the legs. On her shoulders is a black sequin bolero jacket, and the look is finished off with 2 inch heeled pumps, a small black sequined purse with a silver shoulder chain, and a small diamond drop necklace around her throat.

"So, this is a business dinner, huh? Hmmm…." Dawn takes a tour around her mom. "Looks more like a date to me."

"Dawn, I told you, this is a business dinner. It's just Mr. Giles is taking me to a rather exclusive club, and I need to dress properly. I don't think a business suit would be appropriate for this."

"I see," Dawn says, currently behind her mother. She leans in and sniffs. "Is that Opium I smell?" She grins a little crookedly. "Exactly what kind of business was this about again?"

"Dawn Summers!" Joyce flushes, "I'm not going to dignify that with an answer!"

"Sure, mom…" Dawn leans in close, almost whispering in her ear. "So, what do you think Faith would think of you in that dress, huh?"

"Dawn, I'm warning you…" Joyce replies, sotto voce, to her daughter. "that's enough. Understand?" The steel in her voice is evident, even in a whisper.

Dawn moves away, sitting back down on the sofa. "Well, whatever mom. Have a good time."_ Where is she? She's supposed to be here by now. Why isn't she here? _

"It's business, Dawn. It's not about having a good time." Joyce's voice has a note of exasperation in it. Maybe it's to cover the slight uneasiness she's feeling. _What would Faith think of me going out dressed like this?… Wait, what am I doing? She made it pretty clear that she … still…_

"Buffy? What do you think?" Joyce walks into the living room a little deeper, so Buffy can get a better look.

Buffy looks up, and there is a distant quality in her expression. A faint smile appears on her face.

"You look great, mom. Don't listen to … Dawn here. Her idea of fashion starts and ends in jeans. You look real nice for your date…"

"You're so full of it Buffy…" Dawn looks at her, a strange expression on her face. "What's the suck up about?"

"No suck up, dope. Just, I think she looks nice…"

"Thank you, Buffy. Nice one of my daughters isn't being prickly tonight," She looks at Dawn with a slightly disapproving frown.

"Hey, I think you look great, " Dawn puts her hands up in surrender. "I'm just thinking, there're others to consider here…" She gives her mom a look.

"Dawn, how many times do I have to say, there's nothing going on but business here…"

Buffy sighs, and her shoulders slump. "What's the deal? Let's get real here for a second, ok? Face it Dawn. Dad's not coming back. No happily ever after for the Summers' family. It's over. So, if mom wants to go out on a date with a … I gotta say it, mom, he's kinda a stud, at least for your age group… I say go for it. Let's not make a big deal out of it, ok?"

Joyce and Dawn both look at Buffy like she's a pod person from the planet Venus. Dawn looks at her mom, and Joyce feels her mom radar go off into overdrive. She comes over to Buffy, and lays a hand on her forehead.

"You don't feel feverish. Are you ok, Buffy?" She looks closely, and notices the slightly sallow cast to her skin. "You look a little pale, honey." She places her hands under Buffy's chin.

Buffy shakes her head and moves away, giving her mom a strange look.

"Geeze, what's the deal? I'm fine, ok? I just said you looked nice and you should enjoy your date. What's with the Florence Nightingale routine?"

"You're acting weird, Buffy," Dawn pipes up. "You're being nice and all, you gotta be sick or something!"

"Dawn that's enough … we're just concerned about you, Buffy…"

"Oh for god's sake," Buffy loses her temper. "Ok, I know I've been like a real bitch around here. Not dumb, and I'm sorry. But maybe if you'd been more honest about stuff, and didn't like try to hide stuff all the time, I wouldn't get so angry all the time. I'm not a child, mother, whatever you think. I get it, ok? You're dating, you've been dating, if you want to admit it or not. I get frustrated because you feel you gotta protect me. Well, too late for that. I grew up. Geeze!" She stands up, and walks towards the stairs.

"Buffy, I'm sorry honey. It's just that you've been so…"

"I know, mom, I know," Buffy says in a tired voice. "I'm kinda feeling crappy. I'm all crampy, and I think I'm getting a cold. So I'm just gonna go finish my homework and go to bed." She starts up the stairs, and then stops. "If that's ok with you?"

"You're sick? Honey, I can stay home…"

"Don't! Please, go out, ok? I'm not dying, just feel punk. I'll be ok tomorrow."

Waving to no one in particular, she goes upstairs.

Joyce goes to the doorway, watching her. She's definitely worried about her.

"Maybe I should cancel tonight…"

"It's up to you, mom," Dawn shrugs, looking at the clock._ Where is she? She said she'd be here by now! Darn her!_" You know what? Buffy's right. You should go. We can handle here…"_ What's the point, if Faith isn't going to come? _

Joyce looks at her watch. "Where's Mrs. Blankenship. I told her to be here by 7:30. She usually punctual…"

"She probably got hung up on something. Probably figuring how to truck over the case of slides of her trip to Vera Cruz. God, does that lady do anything else?"

"Dawn, that's not nice. She's a nice lady, and a good neighbor."

"Yeah, and booooring. I swear, if I see one more slide of Vera Cruz, I'm gonna scream!"

"You'll do no such thing! Pat's been a great help to us, and I think we can be polite enough to share her enthusiasms…" Joyce can't help it, a small grin breaks out on her face. "God, she is boring, isn't she? And that voice as she narrates…" Joyce shakes her head. "Better than a sleeping pill…"

Both laugh at that.

"Don't worry, mom, I won't let on I've seen the slides a dozen times now. She's ok, if a little too focused on Vera Cruz…" She giggles.

"I know you won't, Dawn. You're a good girl … most of the time…"

"I'm sorry I got snarky earlier too. I…" Dawn hesitates. _Don't blow your hand to her, Dawnie. Still, I gotta try._"… what about Faith, mom? I mean, should you really be dating someone else if you love her?"

Joyce feels a mixture of emotions go through her, and she walks over to Dawn, putting her hand on her shoulder.

"Sweetie, you're right. I do love Faith. But sometimes, love isn't enough. Things happen, and while you want to be together, sometimes it just isn't that simple. Understand?"

"No, mom. Sorry, but I really don't!" Dawn lets a little of her peevishness show. "You love her. She loves you. Why can't you fight for each other, instead of with each other? I mean, sure you'll fight and all, but isn't being together most important? Face stuff together… and deal with it…"

"Dawn, things aren't always that simple, honey…"

"Why not? I mean, why does it have to be so complicated? Fight, talk, do whatever you gotta do, but don't just walk away from each other. How does that work, if you love each other?"

_God, when did you get to be so smart?_ Joyce shakes her head, feeling pride in her daughter.

Before Joyce can say a word, however, the front doorbell rings.

"Well, that must be British guy," Dawn says, not able to hide all the asperity in her voice. "You better get that."

"Dawn, that's enough. Mr. Giles is a very nice man, and I want you to be on your best behavior around him. Understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Geeze, not like I'm 10, mom. I won't throw a tantrum!" Dawn says, sounding on the edge of one. _Nice going Faith. Real nice. Blew it big time!_

Joyce looks at her watch again.

"I don't understand it. Pat should be here by now. Maybe I should call her…"

"No!" Dawn almost has a cow. _God, if she finds out… "_I mean, geeze, mom. She'll get here. And I promise. Neither Buffy nor I will run away before she does. We can take care of ourselves for like 5 minutes or whatever."

"You're right, of course," Joyce nods, walking towards the front door. "It's just that she's usually so punctual. I'm kind of worried about her…"

"Mom. Go. Tell you what. If she isn't here in like 15 minutes, I'll go over there and check on her, ok?"

"Ok honey. Thank you. Don't forget, get your homework done before you go to bed. Don't spend all night in front of the TV again."

"I won't mom." The doorbell rings again. "Now, better get that before he changes his mind and leaves."

"Ok, ok. You'd think you were trying to get rid of me," Joyce laughs. She turns and walking to the front door, answers it. "Hi, Mr. Giles. My, don't you look nice this evening." She opens the door, and steps back, allowing Rupert Giles to enter.

"I have to say, Joyce. You're a vision tonight. You look absolutely smashing!"

"Why, thank you, Mr. Giles," Joyce blushes just a touch, and does a small pirouette to show off her dress.

"Rupert, please." Giles holds the door for Joyce, "Shall we?"

"Dawn honey, we're leaving," Joyce calls out.

Dawn gets up off the sofa and crosses to the foyer.

"Have fun, mom," She turns and looks at Giles. "Well, hey British guy, you look… dressy. Don't keep her out too late…" She stalls a little for time. "And If anything happens, you call me. If you have a flat tire, call me, I'll come get you…"

"Exactly who's the mom here?" Joyce says, mockingly. "You have my number, right? If you need me? And we'll be at the Maison del Mar if you have trouble…"

"Got it mom, for like the thousandth time, ok?"

"And call me if Mrs. Blankenship doesn't show…"

"I will, mom, promise."

"Maybe I should just give her a quick call…"

"Mom? GO!" Dawn teasingly starts pushing her out the door. "Promise. The house will _still_ be here when you get back. Me too! Now, shoo."

"Ok, ok," Joyce grins. "You'd think you were trying to get rid of me…" She starts for the door. She stops and turns to Dawn. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" She gives her daughter a look. "You know the rules. No guests while you're on restriction… especially boy guests. Right?"

"GO!"

Joyce and Giles cross over the porch, and start down the stairs. Rupert leads the way towards his car, but Joyce stops suddenly.

"Oh my goodness, is that yours?"

Sitting by the curb is a restored 1932 Duesenberg J Murphy Coupe convertible. Painted moonlight white, with red upholstery, it definitely stood out from the crowd.

"Yes, it is. A bit much, I guess, but …" Giles shrugs, "I like it. Rather classic in its lines…"

"It's…beautiful…" Joyce runs her hand over the bumper.

_Not as beautiful as you…_ Giles admires her in the moonlight by the car.

"So, think it'll do?" He says, crossing to open her door.

As if on cue, a loud roaring is heard down the street, and both look up to see a motorcycle roar down the block, and at the last moment turn into Joyce's driveway. The rider brings it to a halt next to Joyce's SUV, and jumps off, walking towards the couple.

"Do you know this person, Joyce?" Giles, a little taken aback, comes to her side.

"Yes, I do," Joyce says, a little stunned. _What's SHE doing here?_

"Well, hey. Talk about your timing. Man, I almost missed the happy couple." Faith doffs her helmet, sticking it under her arm and approaching Giles. "How ya doin'? My names' Faith."

Without ceremony, or waiting, she grabs his hand and pumps it energetically.

"Giles. Rupert Giles. Pleased to meet you." Giles still looks a bit off center.

"Yeah, you'd be the British guy," Faith nods, looking him over. "You outta be on Masterpiece theater with that voice. You on Masterpiece theater?"

"Faith, what're you doing here?" Joyce, recovering from her shock, speaks up. " I thought you said you couldn't make it."

"Heya, Joycie" Faith uses the nickname she knows Joyce hates. " Yeah, well, I got to thinkin' after our little talk yesterday, and I thought Hey, I owe her, right? After all she's done for me. So, I cleared my schedule and here I am, babe." She winks at Joyce. "Surprise!"

"Well, that's quite all right, Faith. I've made other arrangements for the girls. Mrs. Blankenship…"

"That lady from next door? The Empanada lady? Geeze, Joycie. You wanna bore the kids to death? Forget it. I'm here." She grins hugely. "We'll have a rockin' time now."

"Really, Faith. No need for you to stay. I know you're busy…"

"Excuse me, Miss?" Giles speaks up. His expression has taken on a stern cast.

"Yeah, Jeeves? Somethin' I can do for ya?"

"That's Giles. And I think you could be a little more civil…"

"Yeah, well, I think you could be a little less stuffy." Faith shrugs, and looks over his shoulder. "Whoa. Wicked wheels."

Faith walks around them and goes over to the Duesenberg, rubbing her palm over the paint.

"Class act, dude. Smooth like glass. Musta set ya back a few, huh?" She runs her hand over the upholstery. "Nice."

"Yes. It's a classic. Could you please be careful!" Giles looks a little pained as Faith hops the door and sits behind the wheel.

"Faith! What're you doing? Get out of Mr. Giles' car!"

"Whattya think? Do I look hot, or what? This baby was made for me!"

Giles turns to Joyce, eyes wide. "Who is this girl?"

"She… she's a friend. She's normally… not like this…" Joyce feels the color rising in her neck. "I don't know why she's acting this way…"

Faith hops out of the car and walks over to Giles. "Really, that's one sweet ride. Wanna trade?"

"What?" Joyce and Giles answer simultaneously.

"My baby for your baby."

_God, what's got into her? Why is she acting like a mental case?_

"C'mon, check it out," Faith grabs Rupert by the arm, and starts pulling him toward her bike.

Rupert, trying to keep a lid on the situation, follows along, looking back at Joyce questioningly.

Joyce wishes the curb would open and swallow her up.

"Faith!"

"Aw, relax, Joycie. Not gonna steal him away. Just wanna show him my bike…" She turns to Giles. "You're gonna love this, Dude."

Faith hauls him over, and pats the gas tank.

"Aint she sweet? 1979 Harley Sportster. Rebuilt her myself. Dual carbs, custom paint, and look at the pipes. You can't find those babies anymore. She's one sweet ride, I'll tell ya." She keys the engine, turning it over. "Listen to her. Smooth as silk."

"Yes, she seems quite … sweet, as you say," Giles nods politely. "So, you built this yourself?"

"Yup, with my own little fingers." She wiggles them close to his face. "You like?"

"It's quite something…" Giles tries to think of a way to get away without making the crazy girl crazier. "Could you excuse me?" He turns to go.

"Actually, no," Faith says softly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don't get huffy, guy. I wanna talk to you but I don't wanna upset Joyce, so just smile and act all British-y, ok?"

"I think it's a little late for that," Giles says sternly.

"Maybe. But I'm tellin ya right now. You mess with her, you make her unhappy, and I'll hunt your ass down and fry it. Got me, guy? Nod yes if you understand?"

Giles looks at her, and sees the intensity in her eyes, and nods Yes.

"Good boy. She's a class act, a lot classier than that bucket of bolts you drive," Faith nods at the car. "Got me?"

"That bucket of bolts, as you call it, is a …"

"I know what it is. Thirties vintage Duesenberg, probably a J, with a Murphy built coupe body."

"You know cars," Giles sounds impressed.

"Yeah, maybe I don't got money flowin' out my ass like you do, but I'm not stupid. Thing is, Joyce is like way better than that car. So, I repeat, you got me?"

"I've got you," Giles nods again. "I happen to agree with you."

"Good, cuz she deserves the best. Not somebody that'll play her."

"We agree on that," Giles studies her face. He senses something's off. "Why do you care?"

"Cuz… she's a friend, and I take that seriously. Capice?"

"Absolutely," Giles nods, tight lipped.

"Good. And by the way, you tell her about this little chat, and you might come out someday and find a nasty new dent in that car."

"Are you threatening me?"

"I don't make threats, Mr. Giles. Count on it." She slips her arm in his. "Let's get back before she thinks I'm trying to knife you or somethin'." She starts to lead Giles back to Joyce.

She doesn't quite make it back because Joyce, mortified, intercepts her.

"Faith, what the hell are you doing? You're embarrassing me!"

"Aw, c'mon, Joyce. Me and Jeeves here are just having some fun, aren't we?"

"Yes, a lot of fun," Giles disengages his arm, coming around to Joyce. "You have quite a motorbike there, Faith."

"And yet, you wouldn't trade me your car for it. Your loss. The chicks love it, ya know?" She winks at them. "So, you kids have a blast. Don't worry, the girls are in good hands."

"As I said, Faith," Joyce's tone is a bit chilly, "I have Mrs. Blankenship coming over to stay with them. You needn't bother." She looks over at the house. "Though, she seems to be rather late…" Her brow creases. "Maybe I should go over and see if everything's ok."

"Naw, you go on your _date_, Joyce," Faith grins tightly at her. "I'll go check on the Empanada lady. I'm sure she just forgot some slides or stuff…" Faith waves them off. "Go on, get outta here. The night's not getting any younger…"

"I told you, Faith. It's not a …" Joyce sighs in exasperation. "Never mind." She turns to Rupert. "Let's go, Rupert. We don't want to be late." She turns and walks to the car. "Goodnight, Faith." Her tone has dropped another 10 degrees.

"Night Joycie," Faith waves at her back.

"Well, goodnight Faith. It's been… an experience."

"Yeah, me too," Faith smirks at him. She turns, and walks up the towards the porch.

Giles goes and opens Joyce's door.

"I'm so sorry, Rupert. I can't tell you how embarrassed I am. She… I've never seen her act that way before."

"Indeed?" Giles' eyes stray up to the house, then back to Joyce. He circles the car, and gets in on the driver's side. "She is the colorful one, isn't she?"

"I don't think that quite covers it, "Joyce is looking at the house.

"Well, I suggest we forget about it, and have a nice time. What do you think?"

Joyce turns to him, and smiles.

"I think you're quite a gentleman, Rupert," She pats his arm. "And I agree."

"Well then…"

He starts the car, and checking traffic, pulls out on the road.

"What's she doing?" Dawn mutters to herself.

Dawn, secreted behind the living room curtains, watches the little drama unfolding before her.

"Showing him her bike? Why is she showing him her bike? God, is she going to fight for mom, or what? Why is she even talking to British guy, anyway? Why isn't she punching him out? Why is she acting like they're old friends? Geeze, I'd be chasing him away with my bike, not showing him how cool it is? Oh oh… there goes mom! God, she looks pissed! Well, Duh! Faith is acting like a moron. Go on, Mom! Tell her. Tell her you love her! Get rid of that stupid… what? Oh geeze, what is her problem? What kind of … oh crap. Here comes Faith, and she's not looking happy. Better scoot."

Dawn almost trips over the coffee table in her hurry to cross the living room. She gets halfway to the stairs when she realizes that she'll never make it upstairs before Faith comes in and catches her.

_Ok, gotta hide. But where?_ She looks around. _No, can't fit behind the sofa… and first place she'll look is the closet. Oh man… where?_ She spies the drapes, and quickly crosses over to them. Squatting down, she slips behind them. _Ok, she'll never find me here… _

_Nice work, Faith. You almost miss them, and instead of throwing down with that creep, you stand out there making nice. What the hell is wrong with you, anyway? Geeze… do I gotta do everything around here? _

_I swear, I'll never figure out grown ups…_

Upstairs, Buffy stands by her window, staring out. She can make neither sense nor sensibility out of the little dramedy occurring on the lawn, nor does she really care.

She feels restless and trapped, like a caged animal, not knowing what to do or how to react. All she knows is she's in deep trouble, and she doesn't have a clue how to get out of it.

She lifts her blouse, placing her hand on her still flat belly. _What's going on in there? Why're you making me so sick. God, this whole thing is sick!_

She turns away from the window, not even seeing Faith walk up to the front porch. Moving almost aimlessly, she picks up her Tunes Player, and sticking in the earphones, lays down on the bed.

_God, what were you thinking?_ Buffy mourns as some female performer sings about love and loss as the backdrop to her problem. _Ever hear of birth control? God, now what'm I gonna do? Why didn't I just get on the pill? Oh yeah, and then mom would want to know why, and the whole thing could've blown up in my face! _

_Like it hasn't now… shit! This whole thing is fucked, and I'm the fuckee and the fucker here. And it didn't even work. Things are just worse now, not better… _

_What am I gonna do? Shit!_

She turns over, rolling up into a ball. Just trying to forget it all for awhile.

5

Faith watches the car disappear down the block, a grim expression on her face. Her shoulders slump, almost imperceptibly, as she turns towards the door.

"Well, that was… stupid," Faith curses herself. _Could you have looked more stupid? Could you have come off as more of a jealous idiot? Don't think so. What I do think, is a certain young lady has some explaining to do. _

She reaches for her keys, and realizes she gave them back to Joyce. _Man, now what?_ She tries the knob, and finds the door open. _Well, my luck doesn't totally suck tonight. _She steps in the door and closes it behind her.

"DAWN? Where are you? I need to have a little chat with you," Faith calls out from the foyer. She turns and starts towards the living room.

"DAWN?!"

She looks around the living room, and briefly pauses at the curtains. Then she turns and heads back towards the stairs.

"Well, not here. Must've gone upstairs." She walks out of the living room.

A moment later, Dawn peeks out from behind the curtains._ Good…_ She comes out of her crouch, heading for the kitchen and the basement. _It'll take her a few to figure out I'm not upstairs, and I can reach the basement and lock myself in. She'll just think I skipped out. Better than facing her…_

Dawn enters the foyer, and starts towards the dining room.

"So, going somewhere?"

Dawn freezes in her tracks. She looks up the staircase and sees Faith standing at the railing, looking down. _Aw, crap!_

"Faith! Hey! There you are! I was looking for you…"

"Uh-huh," Faith starts down the stairs, reaching Dawn and guiding her back to the living room. "Here's a tip. Next time you hide? Make sure everything's covered. Saw your toes stickin' out from under the curtains, Dawnie."

Dawn breaks away from Faith, going over and flopping down on the sofa. "So, I'm guessing you're mad at me?"

"Well, not exactly doin back flips here , but…" Faith sits across from her, on the arm of the chair. "… just what were you figuring was gonna happen, Dawn? Why'd you set me up?"

"Set you up?" Dawn protests. "I wasn't setting you up!"

"Oh…ok, so that wasn't you on the phone last night telling me your mom had a new boyfriend and was dating him, and saying stuff to make me feel jealous… which kinda worked by the way… and telling me I was gonna lose her and everything and that I better get my butt over here, and of course, I was a little…"Faith rolls her eyes. "I acted like a total idiot tonight… that wasn't you…?"

"I just thought you'd want to know mom was dating…" Dawn looks away, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"What about Mrs. Empanada lady? Shouldn't she be here? Joyce said she supposed to be here… think I should call her and check…?" Faith gets up from the couch and starts towards the phone. "This should be interesting …"

"No! I mean…ok, I called her earlier…" Dawn confesses. "told her not to come… cuz I knew you'd be here, so why should she… ok, ok, I did it! Geeze…"

"So, exactly what were you expecting to happen then, Dawn? I mean, other than me watch your mom go on a date with that … guy?" Faith comes over, and leans down. "… you think I was gonna like beat him up or something?"

"Yeah… no, I don't know. Something. Not pretend like he's your best friend ever and show him your bike and stuff. Why didn't you do something? Yell at him or chase him off or something … instead you're out there almost fawning over him…" Dawn shakes her head.

"Dawn, what do you think this is? Passions?" Faith shakes _her_ head. "You think I lay into the guy, trade punches with his wimpy ass and chase him off, what then? Your mom goes all weak in the knees and falls in my arms? Dawn, this is life, not a bad soap opera. Stuff don't work that way in life."

Dawn just frowns at her, tight lipped.

"I know your mom explained we're not together anymore, Dawn. She wants to date, that's her biz, you know? Not mine. It's pretty obvious she wanted to go out with the guy… she looked… crap, she looked sooo hot tonight…" Faith plops down on the sofa next to Dawn. "She pretty much wants to move on, babe. You should let her." _ Right. That's why you're sitting here feeling like shit because she went out with Prince Charles, right? Hypocrite!_

"That's it?" Dawn gapes at her. "Not getting you, Faith. Really not getting you. I thought you loved my mom?"

"Yeah, baby, I do," Faith says quietly.

"But you're ok with her dating someone else?"

"Dawn, it's her choice."

"Wait a minute," Dawn almost explodes off couch, starting to pace. "You love her. She says, she loves you, but because you have a fight, you just walk away, and she can just … date other people? That true for you too? You gonna date other people?"

"Really hadn't thought about it, Dawn." Faith shrugs. "Wasn't planning on it."

"Ok … this is pure nuts, you know that? You and mom? Acting NUTS! What kinda bizzaro world did I wake up in, anyway? You love each other, at least you both _say_ that, but you don't even fight for each other? What kinda crap is that? Don't you care?"

"I care a lot, Dawn," Faith looks up at her. "Your mom means everything to me…"

"I don't believe you," Dawn says, her tone hurt and angry. "You're lying! You don't love her! You don't care about her! If you cared, you never would've walked out. You would've fought with her, maybe, maybe even… I don't know, but you wouldn't run like a dog with its tail between its legs. You… you woulda stayed! You woulda figured it out… you wouldn't… you're a liar! A big , fat, stupid LIAR!"

"Dawn… honey…" Faith gets off the couch, moving towards her.

"NO! GET OUT!" Dawn looks around for something to throw. Not seeing anything, frustrated, she kicks the coffee table, knocking it over. "You don't care about anyone! GET OUT! I HATE YOU! GET OUT!"

She runs at Faith, arms out, trying to push her. "Get outta here! We don't need you here! Get out! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Faith ducks around her, wrapping her arms around Dawn. Dawn struggles, trying to push her away.

"Let me go! I hate you! I don't want you around here anymore! Get out! You're mean, you're… MEAN! Let me GO!"

Faith doesn't let go, and Dawn's struggles are very hard. She finally just leans against Faith, crying.

"You're just like my dad," Dawn sniffles, sounding miserable. "You say you care, but you don't. You just run away when things get tough. You don't care about any of us! Why don't you just go?"

For a moment, she leans against Faith, taking what comfort she can. Then, she straightens up, as if shaking it off.

"Let me go, please," Dawn tries to shrug Faith off. "I'm fine, just let me go." This time, she breaks away, moving away from Faith, back to her. "I'm sorry I called you. I shouldn't have interfered. So, maybe you should just go now…"

"Dawn, I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess… I should've explained things better… but I was upset that night I left… I really do care about you. You and Buffy and your mom…"

"Yeah, got it. You care. Sure, I understand." Dawn's voice is cold. "You've done your duty. You can go now." She turns back to Faith, her expression hard. "Sorry I bothered you."

_Nice work, Faith. Real nice._

"Dawn, sweetie. Talk to me, ok? Let me explain?"

"What's to explain, Faith?" Dawn shrugs indifferently. She walks over and sits on the couch. "You say you care, you make all the nice noises. But when it counts, you aren't around, you know? You got your own life, my mom's got her own life, and all that crap, you know? I made a mistake. I thought you really cared, really loved my mom. Loved … all of us… but that was pretty dumb, huh? Just like my dad. He says he loves us too, but is he ever around? Can I ever talk to him? No. He's always too busy with this or that, anything but us. Like you… you ever call once since you been gone? See how I… we are? No. Too busy with school, I guess, huh? Yeah, mom told me, you got back in. Good for you. So, go on, go. Do school or whatever. Whatever you gotta do, just go do it." She crosses her arms over her chest, looking away.

"You're right," Faith walks over, sitting next to Dawn. "I should've called. Yeah, I've been busy getting a place, and moving in, and going to class and work and everything, but I should've made time. I'm sorry, honey… I was selfish…"

"You bet you were," Dawn mutters, not looking at her.

"But, it really was hard. You see, honey, I really miss you. And your mom. Even Buffy," Faith smiles a tiny smile. "And talking to you on the phone? Really hurts, you know, cuz I wanna be here with all of you. But I can't right now…"

"Please. If you wanted to be here, you'd be here. Don't lie to me, ok?"

"Dawn, It isn't that simple…"

"What's so hard?" Dawn turns to her, "You want to be somewhere, or you don't. You don't want to be here, so you aren't. It's pretty simple, Faith. If you wanted to be here, you'd be here!"

"You're just like my big brother, Mike. He's the same way. Everything is black and white to him. Stubborn as hell," Faith chuckles, " It's all very easy, Faith. You either do it, or you don't. There's no middle ground, squirt."

"He called you squirt?"

"Oh yeah. Well, that's because my brothers… all of them, are like, giants. Paulie's… well, he's the smallest, and he's 6 foot 3. And here I am, the baby, barely topping 5'5". Geeze, did I ever feel the runt." Faith shakes her head, and sighs. "God, I miss Paulie. Damn, I even miss Brian, and he's a total pig. Damn…" Faith turns away.

"Well, why don't you go see them?" Dawn says, misunderstanding. "I mean, not like anything here's stopping you…"

"I can't, baby." Faith shrugs.

"Can't? Please! Won't is more like it. All you care about is yourself, Faith, or you'd go see them."

"No, Dawn. I can't see them. They won't see me, get it? They all … they act like I died…"

"What? What're you talking about?"

"Look, Dawn, you know where I come from, right? Southie… South Boston?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, girl, it's very Irish around there, and very Catholic. Very conservative, you know? Lots of rock heads around there, not open to … once they get an idea in there head, it's like pulling teeth to change their minds…"

"You planning on making sense anytime soon?" Dawn says derisively. "otherwise, I'd kinda like to watch TV or something…"

"Dawn, look. My family… couldn't accept me being a lesbian, you know? They … well, let's just say in the faith, it's a big, big sin. They figured I chose to be this way… feel the way I do. They don't get it that it's like what you feel for whatsisface…"

"Xander."

"Yeah, Xander. I can't help I love girls, but they don't see it that way. Lots and lots of fights about that. I didn't even really understand it, and how the heck was I gonna convince some thick headed Irish micks I couldn't help the way I felt?" Faith shrugs, "Maybe I should've played it smart, stayed in the closet with the door tightly locked. But I couldn't do it, Dawnie. I got in all sorts of trouble cuz I was mad all the time. I hated what I felt, and I thought I was crazy, and there was no one to tell me it was ok to feel this way, that for me, it's normal. Like how you feel for Xander. See?"

"Yeah, I guess…" Dawn says reluctantly.

"See, even you think it's weird, don't you?"

"No! I mean, my friend, Willow. She's gay, and I don't think she's weird…"

"Yeah, but your friend Willow. She's not in love with your mother, is she?"

"God NO! That would be…" Dawn turns a deep red. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Hey, we're being honest here, right? It's ok, Dawn. I get you don't get it. Shit, tell you a secret?"

"What?"

"Sometimes, I don't get it."

"Get outta here!"

"No, I mean, some of the women I've been with? Make me absolutely insane. Can't see what the attraction was… but I thought at the time I loved them… so, you see, I'm kinda confused, too. Now, put that with a bunch of people who don't want to believe that what you're feeling, you can't help. It's like breathing, you just do cuz that's the way you're made?" Faith sighs. "point is, baby, they figured I chose to be this way. God, that's a laugh. Who'd choose to be gay? I'm sorry, but it's not a choice. Not for me, anyway. But, my family didn't get that. And on my 18th, they essentially kicked me outta the family…"

"What? Your mom and dad…? How? They're supposed to love you. That's…"

"Honey, I don't doubt they love me. I saw the look in their eyes when they did it. Wasn't easy for them. Of course, at the time, I called them some names I wish… I could take back. God, I'd love to just get another day with them, really talk with them. Let them know I love them, even if they don't… even if they're ashamed of me…" Faith lowers her head, "That hurts the worst, Dawn. They're ashamed of me. Like… I'm some …"

"That's horrible! They're evil people!"

"Dawn, stop it! They're my family, and I love them. Just like Mike, I swear. It's not that simple. I love them, and I know, deep down, they love me. But… that's not enough…"

"It should be…"

"Maybe, but it's not. It's like with me and your mom. I love her, and she loves me, but…"

"What? See, that's what I'm not getting. No one's telling me nothing. How am I supposed to understand, if you don't tell me?"

"Fair enough," Faith nods, leaning back on the sofa. "didn't your mom explain why we split up?"

"I dunno… no, not really. Just you had a big fight, and that you walked out…"

"That's true enough, as far as it goes. But that's not the whole story, Dawn." She turns to look at Dawn. "Thing is, I can't walk out on something that I wasn't ever a part of."

"Ok, here we go into the not making sense again. What do you mean? Of course you were part of …"

"Dawn, I loved being here. With you and your mom and Buffy? It was like… being with my family again, you know? Sure, there were fights and sometimes I swear the tension was like a wall around here. But there was love too, I could see that. The way you all fought so hard, because you loved each other. If you didn't, then I'd be worried. But you love each other, and dammit, that's how it should be, you know? And I wanted to be part of that so bad, I could taste it. But I never was part of it… not really."

"Well, that's stupid, of course you were…"

"Dawn, did your mom tell you how we met?"

"She said you were like… a guide at some museum in Boston…? And she went there…"

"The first time me and your mom met, she thought I was a loon, I think."

"Huh?"

"I was working at the museum, and they were short handed, so I had to cover an exhibit I didn't have lots of knowledge about. And your mom, well, she bailed my butt out. God… she was … it was like she was glowing, when she was up there, talking about some impressionist art. I swear, I knew from that very moment, that here was the woman for me!"

"Wow… really? My mom?" Dawn shakes her head, as if she couldn't believe it.

"Oh yeah, and I…ok, I admit, I guess I came off as some loony stalker or something, because I know on that first meeting I scared her silly or something. She ran like…" Faith chuckles. "Let's just say she ran away. I thought for sure she would _never_ come to that museum again, and I'd never see her again…"

"But you did, right?" Dawn almost kicks herself. "Of course you did!"

"Yeah, she came back next day… to apologize! My god, and she even brought lunch! Ok, right then? I was totally hooked… and I've been totally hooked ever since."

"But why…?"

"Let me finish, ok?"

"Ok." Dawn seems to have gotten over her anger. She sits, leaning in a little and listening.

"Dawn, I knew from the first, your mom didn't love me as much as I loved her…"

"Faith, she…"

"Dawn, please, ok? I know she loves me, I know that. But … there are different levels of how you love someone. And…well, a lot was going on in her life. There was the gallery, and well, your dad and the divorce… and well, ok, the idea of loving another woman? I mean, like a lover? Not in her vocabulary at that time. And I admit, maybe I rushed her… but only because the more I saw her, the more I loved her… and then … well, you're father got into it, and frankly… I understood why she left me. Well…" Faith points at her head. "Up here, once I found out… because she never told me then why she was leaving… just that she was leaving… but here…" She points at her heart. "Never got it there."

"She told me. My dad… threatened to take away any custody of us…if she continued …" She looks at Faith for a moment. "Faith, when she came back with dad, I have to be honest. I was happy. I thought… they worked it out. I thought we'd be a family again…"

"Well, yeah," Faith smiles, "I get that."

"But, I didn't understand at the time. You see, when she came back, she really tried to be happy… but I could see something was wrong. She wasn't happy, Faith. I would catch her sometimes, when she thought no one was looking, and she… she was so sad. Like her heart had been cut out of her chest. She was very quiet… a lot more quiet than usual. And she worked a lot… she always was home for dinner, but most of her time she spent at the gallery. I didn't know what it was, but I knew something was wrong. Faith, she really did love you. She was miserable without you. I didn't get that then; but I get it now."

"I know. I … tried to deal with it, but I did a lot of things… after she left, because I couldn't deal. I didn't know why… not until a lot later, why… and I thought she … she told me she… didn't love me… and it …"

"Oh, Faith. That wasn't true…"

"I know… and when I found out the real reason, I came here. Because, I wanted… needed to be with her. I didn't care, Dawn. I was willing to do anything, to be part of her life."

"Then, why won't you fight for her now?"

"Because, I realize, even being here? I wasn't part of her life, Dawn. I lived here, and we… ok, I don't want to gross you out, but we did it, but … she couldn't see that it had to be more, for me. I had to be a part of this family, like you and Buffy. Not equal, not even a big share. Just a little something… so I felt I really belonged here. That this was really real for her. Because it was hugely real for me…"

"But you _ARE_ part of this family…"

"Maybe. I know, when I'm here… I feel like I'm home. At least, with you, and even Buffy. But Dawn, she can't… hasn't seen that. She's… not comfortable with what we are. And I finally felt like she wasn't ever going to be comfortable with it. Or accept it. And I can't live on the margins, Dawn. It's selfish, I know, but I have to be part… or…" She shrugs. Then she grabs Dawn's hand. "But that doesn't mean I care any less about you, or your sister. I love you both, like you're my sisters… and it's kinda nice having sisters after having 4 idiot brothers, believe me!" She looks Dawn in the eye. "I love you Dawn, and that's not changing, no matter what happens between your mom and me."

Dawn sits there for a moment, taking it in. Then she squeezes Faith's hand firmly.

"Then fight for me," Dawn says, softly. "For me and mom and Buffy. I love you too, Faith. Or at least, I want to. But I won't live in a bus station, everyone always coming and going as they please. If you love my mom, love me, then you gotta fight and fight until there just isn't anything left to fight… you gotta stick it out… or … I'm sorry," She drops Faith's hand. "I just won't do this anymore. I don't need a sometimes friend… I need you here. We need you here. Things have been… they've sucked since you left, and I won't believe you unless you start trying and quit whining about it!"

"Dawn, that's harsh!"

"No, you walking out? That was harsh! You don't know what affect you've had around here. When you were here, everyone was happy. Ok, maybe Buffy was bratty, but she's always like that … even she was happy, I know it. She really looks up to you, believe it or not. And mom… she's been sooo sad… and I'm… goddamn you! Can't you see you're needed here?"

Faith sits there, stunned by Dawn's vehemence. She doesn't know what to say.

"Do you need a big sign saying 'We need you here, Faith' ? Do you even care? Do you? Do you care that Buffy and I got suspended for fighting with each other? Do you care that Buffy got booted from the cheerleading squad? That now there's a rumor going around that she's gay, and making out with Willow? Did you even bother to know about that stuff? And you want weird? Buffy's acting so weird, I don't know if she's going to bite my head off or what from minute to minute. And she's sick a lot. What's that about? She's up to something, and it worries me and I can't DEAL with this because I don't know what to do and mom isn't even here most of the time to help, and I can't tell her because she's already on Buffy overload and … and… I'm tired of trying to be the mature one because NO ONE ELSE IS EVEN TRYING!!!"

Again, she's off the couch. She starts towards the stairs, then stops and comes back.

"It's real simple, Faith, if you wouldn't make it so complicated. We love you and need you, and if you can't see that, then you're pretty darn blind. Figure it out, and get with it, or just get out!"

She looks at Faith for a response, and not getting anything close to what she wants, make a frustrated noise and throws up her hands.

"God, if that's being adult, I don't want anything to do with it!"

Spinning on her heel, she bounds away and up the steps two at a time. A few moments later, a door is heard slamming upstairs.

Faith sits there for a moment. To say she's flabbergasted would be an understatement. She gets up, and walks across the living room towards the stairs. She stops at the bottom step, looking up.

_What the hell just happened? Has everyone around here gone nuts?_

Shaking her head, she walks up the steps.

Buffy stands by the window again, to restless to remain on her bed.

She stares out into the inky black night, her mood reflected by the darkness. There's no moon tonight, only the stars and the streetlights playing havoc, making the shadows longer, more threatening.

Her heart feels like a lump of ice in her chest; somehow she finds it hard to even breathe. Her face feels hot and flushed, and she sticks her head out the window, to catch some cooler night air. It feels close and hot in her room.

And suddenly, she's not there. She's back in L.A., seemingly forever ago, though really only a few years.

She was lying out in the sun in the backyard, catching some sun. Her body was slicked by suntan lotion, her eyes covered in designer shades. She smiled to herself, drowsing lazily in the sun.

She was wearing the bikini she'd spent her savings on; the one her daddy forbade her to wear. She liked wearing it however; liked how the boys looked at her when she wore it. Mostly, she had to hide the fact she wore it, covering it with other clothes when she went to the beach. But her daddy wasn't home today, and she could lay out in the sun and enjoy it.

_He just doesn't get it. God, this is conservative compared to what some of the girls wear,_ Buffy thought, shifting a little on the chaise lounger. _The way he acted, you'd think I was naked when he saw it…_

She can't forget how, despite his anger and words, his eyes seemed glued to her body. How it made her feel… strange and squirmy. She made sure he never saw her wearing it again, but she couldn't forget how he looked at her.

There had been another fight between her mom and him not long after the bikini incident, and she heard them talking about her through the walls. She knew this fight was her fault; just like so many of them were. She didn't mean to be bad, but she knew she was. _Weren't they always fighting about me?_

She's startled when a shadow suddenly falls across her, like a cloud passing before the sun. She looked up to see her daddy standing over her, staring down at her. The way he looked at her made her feel like she should hide, but she couldn't hide, could she?

"Daddy?" She said, feeling suddenly like she wanted to cover up.

Suddenly she's back, shaking out of control as her skin is covered in gooseflesh. She grips the windowsill tightly, as if to keep from falling. She's hit by a sudden wave of vertigo. Her stomach rebels, threatening to bring back up dinner.

_I'm ok, I'm ok…_ She holds on, taking deep breaths of the night air.

She almost jumps out of her skin when she hears a soft knock at the door.

"What?"

Faith can't help feeling a strong sense of guilt as she walks down the hallway.

_Is she right? Have I just given up without a fight? Why can't this ever be easy, for Christ's sake?_

She walks to the end of the hall, and taps on Dawn's door. There's no answer.

"Hey, c'mon, Dawn. I know you're in there. Talk to me."

Still no answer, so she knocks again.

"C'mon, I'm sorry, ok? Don't shut me out here, kiddo. Just talk to me!"

The door suddenly opens, and Dawn is standing there, frowning at her.

"I'm done talking, Faith. I'm outta things to say. I'm tired of trying to fix things. Just go away."

The door slams in her face. Faith stands there, feeling her temper rise.

_Well, fuck me. Excuse me for breathing! I'm pretty tired of this crap too, ya know?_

Faith turns, and starts down the hallway, pretty much determined to cut her losses and just go. She passes Buffy's doorway, then stops.

She stands for a moment, debating with herself, then moves closer to the door. She knocks lightly.

"What?" comes muffled through the door.

"Hey, Buffy… can I come in?"

There's a long silence. Faith is about ready to just leave when the door opens, and Buffy is standing at the door.

_Oh, great. She looks pissed, and I didn't even DO anything yet!_

"What're you doing here? I thought Mrs. Blankenship was supposed to be here. Though god knows why. I really _don't _ need a babysitter." Buffy frowns at her.

"Ah yeah. Well, Mrs. Blankenship had to cancel at the last moment, and your mom asked me to drop by. So, here I am." Faith lies, shrugging. She's feeling suddenly uncomfortable under the younger woman's gaze.

"Well. Lucky us," Buffy says with an acidy tone. "So, what did you want, anyway? I'm here, warden. Didn't escape into the night or nothing."

"Can the 'tude, would you, Buffy?" Faith feels the Irish rising in her. "I just came up to see if you were ok. You weren't downstairs." She takes a closer look at Buffy, and frowns. "Are you ok?"

"God, why does everyone ask me that?"

"Well, frankly? You look like crap."

Buffy stands there for a moment, staring at her. Faith braces for the explosion.

Instead, a small smile plays on Buffy's lips.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Sorry, all crampy and shit, and getting some flu or something. Not feeling too great."

"Oh," Faith still feels a little irritated, despite the explanation. "Mind if I come in?" Without waiting for an invite, she walks into Buffy's room.

"Yeah, sure, come on in. Never mind about privacy or anything," Buffy says, turning after her, and closing the door. "So, what do I owe this visit to? Got bored burning down the campus or something?"

"Well, aint you the snarky one tonight," Faith says, picking up the MP3 player off the bed. "These things any good? Thinkin' about getting one."

"You came to ask me about iPods?" Buffy comes over, taking the player from Faith. "Why don't you ask the guys at the store? Oh yeah, you don't like guys, do you?"

"Look, girlfriend, I'm real sorry you're feeling crappy and crampy, but I can really do without the 'tude, ok? Think we can be civil, or is this going to be a nasty fest all night?"

"Sure, Faith," Buffy shrugs, walking over to her bed. She lays down on it, back against the headboard. "So, whatcha wanna talk about? Boys? Oh, and then maybe we can do each other's hair, and have a pillow fight after? Sounds like a hoot."

_God, why am I here again? Forget this, I really _don't _need this!_

"Forget it, Buffy. Be snarky. Don't know what your problem with me is, and I don't need to find out. Seeya…"

Faith walks towards the door.

"Wait!" Buffy's tone has changed. It's small and a little lost, and a lot softer. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm being bitchy, ok? I… it's good to see you, ok?" She gets up, and goes over to Faith, who's halted at the door. "Don't go, ok?"

Faith sees the pleading look in her eyes, and relents.

"Ok, guess I'm just tired of getting my head bit off around here."

She walks over to the window and looks out. Turning back, she sees Buffy is back on her bed, staring at her. She walks over, and sits on the edge of the bed.

"So, wanna tell me what's really going on around here?"

Buffy for a moment, looks startled. _Does she know? Is she toying with me? _"What do you mean?" Buffy bluffs, not wanting to give anything away.

"Just that, according to your sister, you're acting weird. Weirder than normal, anyway."

"Oh c'mon, consider the source. Dawn is such a tight ass, sometimes. If anyone's acting weird, it's her. All nervy and edgy lately."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Want my opinion?"

"Go for it," Faith says, almost immediately regretting the words.

"Well, I just think she's got a big old crush on you, and she's all pissy because you're not around no more."

"Oh yeah? Gimme a break, ok?" Faith makes a rude noise.

"Oh, c'mon. Don't even tell me you didn't notice that the squirt practically worships the ground you walk on. My god, if you told her to kiss your ass, she'd ask where."

"I really think that's beyond enough, Buff." Faith frowns.

"Hey, just calling it like I see it."

"I think what you're doing is evading the question, " Faith leans over, patting her leg. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing!"

"That a fact? Weird, cuz, according to Dawn, you picked a fight with her…"

"That's so a lie! She picked a fight with me!"

"Uh-huh…and you both got suspended…"

"Oh dear, I missed three days of school! A tragedy!"

Faith chuckles. Then sobers up.

"Yeah, well, I also hear you got kicked from the cheerleading squad…"

"So? Cordelia's a total bitch. Like that's news?" Buffy shrugs. "Anyway, who wants to be a cheerleader? Whose ambition in life is to spell out words with your arms and wave pom- poms?"

"Hey, preaching to the choir here. But I thought you wanted it?"

"Yeah, well, who ever gets everything they want, huh?"

"And then there's the matter of you and Willow…"

"WHAT? She told you about _THAT?!!!_" Buffy swings her legs off the bed, getting up. " That little creep. I'm gonna murder her. That's such a lie, and she knows it!"

"Hey, hey!" Faith is up, and blocking her way. "Cool down. She's just worried. I don't think she actually believes it."

"Still, she didn't need to say it. Get this straight. Not a lesbo here, and really not interested." Then she realizes her mistake. "Sorry, nothing personal."

"It's all right. I mean, think that's the first time I've heard that said to me?" Faith grins.

Buffy, despite herself, giggles. "Sorry, didn't mean there was anything wrong with being a lesbian. Willow's a lesbian, you know. She's my friend…"

"Yeah, I get it. You just wouldn't want your sister marrying one, right?" Faith deadpans.

Buffy looks at her, and bursts out laughing. "You're nuts!"

"You just getting that, Blondie? Wow, I guess blondes are dumb, huh?"

"Hey!"

"Kidding, chill out, ok?" She cocks her head, looking Buffy straight in the eye. "So, what're you hiding?"

Buffy feels as if Faith is looking directly into her soul, and she feels a deep down shiver. She turns away, flopping herself back on the bed.

"Nothing. I'm not hiding anything…"

"Yeah? So how come you're acting all secretive and stuff? And what's the deal with being sick all the time…?"

"I'm not sick all the time. Told you, I'm crampy and I think I got the flu or something…"

"Buffy out with it," Faith comes over, cornering her. "Are you like doing drugs?"

Buffy stares at her for a moment.

"I mean, that's major, you know? And total crap. So if you're using…"

Buffy laughs, curling up into a ball and grabbing her stomach.

"Drugs? You think I'm doing drugs? Are you like, insane?"

"Hey, you've been acting all moody and withdrawn and strange since I've known you, Blondie. I mean, I've known guys who've been hooked, and you're scary like them. So, fess up, you using?"

"Are you crazy? Druggies are total losers!" She sees Faith isn't buying that, "I promise! I'm so _not_ using drugs! God, how WRONG can you get?" Buffy can't help letting off some more laughter. It's been a very long time.

"Buffy, what is it? Something bothering you, I can tell. Dawn's worried about you, and I know your mom is, too…"

Buffy gives her a strange look. "Oh come on! Do you really expect me to buy that crap? Dawn could care less about me, and mom? I think she'd be happy if she woke up one day I was gone…"

"Buffy! That's totally wrong. They love you. They care about you. How can you even think crap like that…?"

"How? Gee, I don't know, " Buffy goes into sarcasm mode. "Oh yeah. Mom pulls us up and drags us to Sunnyhell, away from my friends and …"

"Yeah, and I understand that you used to get in trouble a lot with your friends…"

"That's bullshit. I mean, ok, maybe sometimes, but I wasn't like Juvey material or nothing. Nothing worth having my life ruined…"

"Get real. You're life hasn't been ruined…"

"That so? How about, I come here, no friends, nothing. I have to start all over again in my senior year of high school, the one you're supposed to coast through. Oh and I gotta kiss ass to some rich bitch cuz she's got a lock on the social standings at school. That was MY job before I came to this place…oh, and almost getting raped by that same bitch? Think I'm loving that? Think I'm so stupid I don't know that? Yeah, I know what she was gonna do… now… but I really thought…" Buffy's lip starts to tremble. "Now, that bitch has got it in for me for some reason. She booted me off the cheerleading squad. That rumor? The one about me and Willow? Guess who started it? Oh yeah… cuz I blabbed I heard her and Willow getting hot and heavy in the girls room… She went ballistic, and now no one'll talk to me cuz they're afraid of her. Except Willow… and Oz…"

"Oz?"

"He's a guy. Willow's friend." Buffy shrugs. "He's kinda nice."

"Nice, huh?" Faith catches that note in Buffy's voice. "You like him, huh?"

"WHAT?? No, I hardly know him. He's Willow's friend, I told you," Buffy can't quite keep from blushing.

"Oh right," Faith nods, deciding not to press it.

"But, now I'm like a total leper at school and I hate it, I really hate it and I wish … I just know that everyone would be better off if I disappeared and I hate it…" Buffy shrinks in on herself, wanting desperately to hide.

"Hey, hey," Faith gathers her in her arms, hugging her. "It's ok, ok? I know… believe me, I know how it feels."

"How? I mean, you're not like me. You don't need …" She trails off, just clinging to Faith.

"Buffy, when I came out, I was going to an all girl Catholic High school. Wanna know how that was? My last year there, no one would talk to me! I swear, even my 'bestest' friend avoided me like I was diseased. The sisters… now there's a bunch of cruel bitches if ever I met some. They made sure I never forgot what a 'sinner' I was, and that I was going straight to hell, no stop offs in purgatory for me, no sirreee. And they made sure if they even thought I was guilty of something, I was punished… really severely. Believe me, NO one was happier to get outta high school than me…"

"I… I didn't know…I'm sorry…" Buffy hugs her tighter. "I'm so ashamed of myself…"

"What?"

"I've been a real bitch… to you and Willow and… I … such a creep sometimes… I can't believe I said some of the things I said…"

"Hey, hey, it's ok. We all say stupid stuff…"

"I'm really sorry…" She pulls away from Faith, looking into her eyes. "Can you forgive me? Please? And come back too? I mean, I'm sorry I was so bitchy to you. You're …I just wish you were here… I feel so alone sometimes… please, come back, Ok? I know you left because I …"

"Buffy? Hold up," Faith brushes some stray hair out of Buffy's eyes. "Look, you gotta know this. I didn't leave because of you. It wasn't your fault, and you shouldn't blame yourself, ok? It had nothing to do with you."

"Then why? Why'd you leave? We need you here, Faith. I mean, everything… everyone was better when you were here. I know Dawn misses you all the time, and me too… and mom, I mean, mom really was happier when you were around. Please, can't you just move back in? You don't have to live in the basement. You can have my room. I'll live in the basement. Please?"

Faith can't help being touched by Buffy's appeal. She knows Buffy's hiding something, and she knows if she's here, she might get her to talk about it. But even more, she feels empathy with Buffy. She knows what it's like to be the outsider. Even more than Dawn, she knows Buffy really does need her.

So, saying these words hurt even more this time.

"Buffy, it's not that simple. I just can't move back in… I'm sorry…"

"Why, I don't understand. Why can't you? Is it me? I…I know I've treated you like crap, but I'll change, I will! I'll be better, just give me another chance…"

Faith sighs. She just can't let Buffy do this to herself.

"Buffy…if I tell you something, something personal, will you promise _not_ to tell anyone? I need your promise… but I can prove that it has nothing to do with you, ok?"

"Sure, I promise!"

"Not even your mom, Buffy. Especially not your mom!"

"Ok," Buffy sounds uncertain. "What did you do?"

"It's not like that, Buffy. Just…for now, I don't want her to know you know…ok?"

"She knows?"

"Yeah, but… " She takes Buffy's hand. "Do you promise? You swear?"

"Yes, I do, I promise!"

"You won't hate me?"

"Faith, what is it? Who did you kill?" Her eyes go wide. "Did you kill somebody?"

"NO!" Faith almost laughs. "I just… hope you won't hate me…"

"Faith, just tell me. I won't hate you!" She squeezes Faith's hand. "Promise!"

"Ok…"

Faith, as gently as possible, tells Buffy about her and Joyce. She couches it in softer terms, and rewrites some history to keep her Dad's role in things out of it, but she lays it out, from beginning to when she left.

"…I know this is a shock, Buffy. I know right now you're probably angry with me and your mom. Don't be angry with her, just me, ok? She wasn't looking for it to happen, and I really pressed hard. And…I understand if you've changed how you feel about me…"

Faith withdraws her hand, gripping the bed, waiting for Buffy to lose it. _Just take it, we should've been honest from the start…_

Instead, Buffy just sits there, looking surprised, but not going nuclear.

"Did… do you love her?" Buffy asks, quietly.

"Very much, Buffy."

Buffy sits there, still quiet. Faith feels a queasiness in her stomach; this reaction is almost worse than a screaming match. Her nerves feel like they're ready to break.

"Say something, Buffy," Faith finally cracks, "anything."

Buffy looks at her, expression still neutral.

"Why did you walk out, then?"

"Buffy, it wasn't exactly like that. I didn't really want to go, just that… she couldn't make me part of her life. I couldn't be real to her. Because she was afraid she'd lose you… and Dawn. And even more, I think she's having a real hard time accepting she loves another woman. It's not easy for her, but …I can't live where I'm not real, you know? I love you and Dawn… strictly platonic, don't get weird… and I miss you guys, cuz you're like family to me. But on the other hand, I'm not family here… and I really need to be. Can you see that?"

"It kinda makes things make sense now, you know?" Buffy seems calm, eerily calm. "She was so happy when you were here… I just didn't connect the dots. Duh." She turns her gaze on Faith. "She really misses you, Faith. A lot. She's not happy, and I really think, she wants you back. I don't know about the other, but you gotta work it out. She needs you, I think…" Buffy shakes her head. "I just wish you guys trusted me before…I wouldn't… I really like you, and I can get why mom does, too… "

"So, you're ok with this?" Faith asks, warily.

"Kinda. Look, not gonna lie to you, Faith. I wish my mom and dad never split up, and I wish they…"She stops, as if touching something unpleasant,"…I wish they were together again. I want my family, my real family back…" She looks at Faith, and her eyes and expression are soft. "But I guess you get that better than anyone, huh? That's not gonna happen…so I guess, if you make mom happy, I just gotta deal… and I will… I promise. And I love you too… I mean, platonically and all…"

_Score one for you, Blondie. You totally knocked me back on my butt!_

"So you get it now? Not your fault I moved."

Buffy nods, seeming to draw back into herself. Then she looks up.

"Faith? Don't do this anymore, ok? I mean, stay away. Mom needs you here, really she does. She… loves you. Stop hurting her… and you, ok?"

"I'll… we'll try. Somehow, we'll figure it out. I promise, Buffy." Faith gets up. "So, you ok now, babe?"

Buffy's calm veneer seems to crack. Her eyes fill up and her lip starts to tremble.

"I'm so not ok…" She chokes back a sob. "If I tell you something, promise me you won't tell… anyone! Please, please!"

"Ok, Buffy, I promise," Faith knows she's going to regret this, but it's the only way she can get Buffy to talk. "I won't tell anyone."

"Even mom?"

Faith hesitates.

"Please, Faith!" A tear rolls down Buffy's cheek. "I need to talk to someone, but I need … you to promise. Not even mom."

"All right Buffy. I promise. Not even your mom."

"I'm so screwed, Faith! I'm in so much trouble, and I don't know what to do!"

"Buffy, what is it? Tell me."

"I'm pregnant, Faith!"

_Aw, shit!_

6

"… so, anyway, I tracked these guys down to a dive in East London. Now, I don't know if you know London, but the east side can be pretty rough. So my mates, they weren't too anxious to go down there, even to get their money back. But I wasn't about to allow those criminals get away with it. They bloody well cheated us at cards, and you can't just tolerate that. "

"Anyway, I'm heading down what must be the worst street in London… and I see the dive at the end of the cul-de-sac. I'm just approaching it as…"

He glances over at Joyce and notices she doesn't seem to be paying attention.

"… as this pink elephant in a lavender tutu approaches me, with a parrot on her shoulder. Now, normally I'm a gentleman, but I was on a mission. But she wouldn't let me pass. She kept asking the way to Charing Cross station, all the while the parrot is screaming , "Another drink, Mac? Another drink, Mac?"…"

Joyce looks up, confused. "Pink elephant? Parrot?" Then she blushes. "Oh god, I did it again, didn't I?"

"I'm afraid so, Joyce. Sorry, these stories can get long winded…"

"No, it's not that. I like your stories. They're very…colorful." She giggles.

Rupert smile, and reaches over, patting her hand.

"Is something wrong? You've been rather not here all evening."

"I know, and it's been very unfair to you… I guess I'm kind of worried about my daughter… Buffy," Joyce tells a white lie. "… she's been kind of ill…"

"Oh, really? That's a shame," Giles' brow furrowed. "You should've mentioned that sooner."

"I know, but she seemed ok when I left, and I was looking forward to our date."

Giles sighs a little. "Maybe it was a little too soon."

"I'm sorry?"

"This date," Giles smiles quietly. "I mean, you're in the middle of a divorce, and while there might be no hope for the marriage, it might still be a little soon to … well, you can't just stop feeling something for someone you've been with for a long time…"

"Oh, no! I promise, whatever Hank and I had, was over long ago. Just… I guess maybe you're right in a way. I mean, this divorce is distracting, and I'm having some custody issues with Hank… and that worries me… probably why I can't keep my mind on things… sorry."

"It's perfectly understandable Joyce," Giles says. He signals for the waiter. "Maybe it's best we wait, until this nasty business of yours is over to … well, date."

"To be fair to you? I think that might be best."

"Well, I certainly wished things had gone differently tonight… but maybe that little incident at the car should've told me things wouldn't go well…"

Joyce blushes again.

"Faith… yes, I really don't understand what came over here. She normally doesn't act like that…"

"How do you know her?" Giles seems puzzled.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, she seems somewhat younger than you… not a contemporary. I wondered how you were acquainted?"

"Oh… she's a friend of the family. I mean, her family and my family are close. And Faith… she drops by a lot."

"I see."

"Again, I'm sorry how she acted…"

"No, no, don't be. Actually, it was quite charming in a way."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, it's easy to tell she cares about you… she pretty much warned me to be on my best behavior tonight. Or she would … how did she say it again? … oh yes, something about frying my ass?" Giles chuckles.

"Oh my god," Joyce looks pained. "Mr. … Rupert, please, believe me. Faith might talk rough sometimes, but she'd never…"

"Oh, I didn't really fear for my derriere. I just thought it was rather touching she cared enough to warn me off. Almost like a mother hen and her chick, you know?"

"Yes," Joyce makes a face. "Sometimes, between my daughters and Faith, I wonder who actually is the mother at my house."

Both chuckle at that.

"I'm so sorry about tonight…"

"Don't, please. I rarely get to spend time with a beautiful, intelligent woman these days. I'm just sorry about my interminable stories. I really have to learn to edit them down."

"Don't be silly. They were …wonderful," Joyce smiles politely.

"Anyway, let's get you safe to home. And when you're really ready to date, you'll call me, I hope?"

"Of course. I couldn't think of anyone nicer to be with."

A waiter comes to the table, looking concerned.

"Is everything ok, sir? Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, thank you. We're ready to leave. I'd like the bill, please."

"Of course sir…"

"Oh, there is one thing. Could you have the valet bring around my car?" Giles hands the waiter his check. "I'd certainly appreciate it."

"Of course sir. It'll be waiting for you out front." Taking the check, the waiter disappears into the back.

Joyce and Rupert chat about inconsequential things for a few more minutes, until the bill comes. Giles pulls out his wallet, and hands the waiter an American Express Black card. He signs the bill, and adds a generous tip.

"Thank you sir, very much." The waiter hands back his card, and leaves.

"So, shall we then?" Giles stands, offering his hand to Joyce.

"I'm so sorry about tonight. I promise, next time will be better."

"Don't worry, Joyce. I understand, absolutely. "

Slipping her arm through his, they leave the table.

7

Joyce raises her hand at the door, waving goodbye as Rupert Giles pulled away from the curb. Closing the door, she turns into the house, sighing.

"Well, that was… exhausting," she murmurs to herself.

She's had worse dates. It's just been so long, that she can't put it into perspective. Sighing, she walks into the living room.

All she found is one small lamp on. Otherwise the room is empty.

"Well, guess everyone's asleep," She says to herself, plopping down on the couch. "Just as well. Not sure I was up for 'how was the date?' game tonight."

Still, she feels a little disappointed. Despite the scene earlier, she was hoping that Faith might still be here. _ Cut out early, I bet. Oh well…_

She leans back, closing her eyes. Right now she needs a rest before she negotiates the stairs up to her cold, lonely bedroom.

_Yeah, and who's fault is that? You drove her away, didn't you?_ She chides herself, feeling sorry for herself. _Maybe if you took her a little more seriously, paid more attention…_

She sits up, hearing a step on the stair. Getting up, she puts a smile on her face. _Really don't need the "I told you so" looks from the girls._

"Buffy? Is that you?" She pauses, then continues. "Dawn?"

She walks into the foyer and stops dead. Standing on the steps, looking down, is Faith.

"Hey," Faith continues down the stairs. "They're asleep now. Might wanna keep it down."

"Faith… hi," Joyce's smile fades just a touch. "I didn't expect you. I thought you'd be …"

"Gone? No, I said I'd stay, and I did…" Faith walks over, and opening the closet, reaches in for her coat. "Guess I should be going now."

_Now or never, Joyce! Now or never!_

"Faith, do you have to? I was hoping we could talk…"

Faith looks at her while shrugging on her coat. Her face softens, and she moves a step towards Joyce.

"I really don't see the need for talking, Joyce…"

"Please, Faith. Just give me a chance, ok? I'm only asking 5 minutes…"

"Joyce, I just…"

"Please, just hear me out. You don't even need to take off your coat."

"But, Joyce…"

"No, for once, just hear me out, Ok, Faith? Then you can go if you gotta go, ok?"

Faith just shrugs, and doesn't move another inch.

"Ok then…" Joyce wrings her hands, and starts to pace in the confined area of the foyer. "Look, I'm an idiot. I admit it. All night long, when I was with Mr. Giles, all I could think about was you. Wishing you was there, and we were together, really together. After what happened out by his car, I realized that I wanted…, no needed you around, in my life. Rupert told me what you did…"

"He wasn't supposed to do that…"

"Faith, please! IT was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me. Ever. You felt you couldn't be with me, but you wanted to be sure that I was ok, that I would be ok. How sweet is that? Ok, I know I've been stupid, but don't you think you could find it to forgive me? I really, really want you to be in my life, all the time, full time. No exceptions, no hiding. I want… I'm so proud of you, I want everyone to know you're with me, and if you'll….MMMPPHHH!!!"

Joyce doesn't get to finish. Faith comes over, pulls her into her arms, and kisses her deeply.

When the kiss breaks, Joyce stands staring at Faith, confused.

"Why did you do that?"

"Sometimes, Joyce? You talk way too much."

"But…mmmmmm"

Before Joyce can get started again, Faith shuts her up with another warm kiss.

To be continued.


	23. Chapter 23

A Change of Seasons, Chapter 21

Primary Pairing: Joyce/Faith

Disclaimer: Joss owns all, i'm just playin'

A/N: Full frontal Incest rears it's ugly head. If it's not yur thing don't read it.

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1

"C'mon, Buffy. You can do it. It's fun!"

"No way. There's no way I can do that!"

"Sure you can! I told you! It's easy!"

Hank and Buffy are on The King Cliffs, outside Sunnydale. They overlook the town, and the bay beyond, and give a panoramic view of both. They are standing on one of the scenic turnouts along the road leading to the apex of the cliffs.

Well, Buffy is standing on the overlook, anyway. Hank on the other hand, is on the other side of the railing, standing in mid air, looking back at her. He's stretching out his hand for her.

"Come on, Honey. All you gotta do is believe," Hank offers his hand. "Just take my hand. You won't fall."

Buffy looks down over the edge of the turnout. Her eyes go wide, and she blanches a little, seeing just how far down the valley floor is below them.

"I'm scared, daddy!" Buffy says, looking down. "I really don't want to do this."

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Buffy. I wouldn't let anything happen to you!"

"Hank, leave her alone. Maybe she's just not ready yet."

A young girl, who looks vaguely familiar to Buffy, is standing out in mid air, just like Hank. She flashes a smile at Buffy.

"Don't sweat it, sugar. It's ok, he can wait." She turns on Hank. "She's just a kid, you know."

"Excuse me, who are you?" Buffy asks, a little perturbed at her being there.

"Just your dad's last lover. Before he started taking up with you…"

"You're really not helping, Susan," Hank turns to her. "She's never going to do it if we don't encourage her." He makes a face at her. "Anyway, why are you here, anyway? I told you we're through!"

"Great. Now my dad's old girlfriends are showing up. What next?"

"Aw, c'mon, Hank. Don't be an old bear…" Susan floats over to Hank, "We can still have fun. I'm sure I could teach Buffy a few tricks how to please you…" She gives Buffy the once over. "She might be fun to play with…"

"Oh god, Daddy! Did you have to bring her along?"

"Susan, get lost!" Hank turns on her, and shoves her away.

Susan seems to lose her balance, her arms pinwheeling crazily. She starts to fall, and then suddenly disappears.

"There, she's gone," Hank turns back to Buffy, smiling. "Now, c'mon sweetie. Don't be scared. Don't you trust me? I bet that's it. You don't trust me," Hank frowns, sounding hurt.

"That's so not true! I trust you…" Buffy looks down. "I just don't trust me."

"Hey… butthead! Leave her alone!"

Buffy turns around to see Faith standing behind her, arms crossed over her chest.

"Faith, what're you doing here?"

"Watchin' out for you, kiddo. Isn't that what you wanted?" She goes over to the edge of the cliff. "What're you trying to get her to do, moron?"

"Hey, back off, Faith!" Buffy yells at her, "He's my dad! He wouldn't hurt me… like you care, anyway. You never cared before!"

"That's not true, Babe. It's just been… complicated, is all."

"Who're you calling a moron?" Hank floats over, closer to the edge. "Who do you think you are?"

"I'm not the idiot trying to get Buffy killed, that's who!"

"She's my daughter, bitch. So, you wanna fight? Fight me?"

Faith looks at him, and laughs. "Geeze, fat boy, when did you grow a pair? You'd be good for what? Half a round before I pounded you in the ground?"

"Hey, leave him alone!" Buffy comes over, and shoves Faith back. "No one asked you to interfere!"

"Buffy, babe, I'm just lookin' out for ya!" Faith looks a little hurt.

"Well, I don't need you to be my watchdog, get it? I'm ok all by myself!" Buffy turns to Hank, and holds out her hand. There's a bead of sweat on her forehead, and she looks very nervous, but she leans out. "I'm ready. Let's do this!"

"Buffy! Don't, it's not safe!" Faith tries to stop her.

"I don't care. I wanna do this!"

"Oh, great. And if your daddy told you to jump off a bridge, you'd do that too?"

"What are you? Nuts?" Hank protests. "I'd never do that… at least not until next week!"

"Buff, c'mon! Don't be an idiot," Faith tries to grab at her. "Just stop this crap and come home!"

"I told you, leave me alone! You don't care about anyone but yourself! " Buffy shoves her hard, knocking her back.

Faith, off balance, trips over a stone behind her heel, and falls hard on her butt.

"You sure I won't fall?" Buffy looks very unsure, now that it's show time. "Do you promise?"

"Of course, baby." Hank offers his hand. "All you gotta do is believe."

_This is nuts. What am I doing? Ok, believe. I believe, I believe, I believe…_

"Ok, then…" Buffy says, closing her eyes tightly

She steps over the edge, holding tightly onto Hank's hand. She stands, mid air with him, shaking nervously, eyes shut.

"Am I doing it? Am I doing it?" She asks, afraid to open her eyes.

"Yes, baby, you are. Open up! Look around."

Slowly, hesitantly, Buffy opens her eyes. She looks down, realizing she's floating in midair!

"Oh my god! I'm flying, I'm so flying!" She howls, clapping her hands.

"So, how do you like it, sweetie?"

"This is sooo cool!" Buffy exclaims. "I can't believe…."

And just as suddenly, gravity kicks in, and Buffy starts to fall.

"Dad! Daaaddddyyyy!!" Buffy screams, falling.

Hank watches her fall

"Ooops!" He says, seemingly unconcerned.

"What're you doing, jackass? Go after her!" Faith yells from the edge, seeing Buffy fall.

"And risk falling, too? I don't know how." Hank whines.

"Oh, for god's sake!" Faith explodes at them. "Idiot!"

Without another thought, Faith jumps off the edge after Buffy.

Buffy, falling, sees the valley floor getting closer and closer. She closes her eyes, because she doesn't want to see anymore.

_Gonna die! So gonna die! Why didn't I listen! Why was I such an idiot! Oh god, now I lay me down to sleep… crap, no time. Gonna die! I'm sorry, Faith…._

Suddenly, her fall stops abruptly. And she realizes she's not falling anymore, but rather, going up. Her eyes pop open.

"FAITH!"

"Hey, cutie," Faith grins at her.

"You saved me!"

"Well, somebody had to," She looks up at the pair floating by the edge of the cliff. "He sure wasn't gonna."

Buffy puts her arms around Faith's shoulders.

"I knew you'd save me!"

They continue to fly upwards, closer and closer and closer to the cliff.

"Faith, shouldn't you slow down? I mean, we're gonna…" Buffy sees the cliff, along with Hank, pass by beneath them. "… we passed the cliff!"

"Yeah, problem. I'm kinda new at this. Don't really know how to stop."

They keep flying higher and higher. Soon, it starts to get warmer. Buffy looks up, and sees the sun has gotten larger. A lot larger.

"Faith! We're getting too close to the sun… we're gonna…"

"I know," Faith says, her face covered with sweat. "I can't stop… I'm gotta drop you, kiddo. You can do it. Just float back down. Just trust me …"

"No, Faith, don't! You'll…"

But suddenly, she's falling again. Even as she's falling, she looks up, to see Faith keep rising, rising and rising, getting closer and closer to the sun.

"FAAAAAAAAAIIIIITTTTHHHH!!!"

Buffy screams, as Faith seems to disappear into the sun.

As she watches, the sun grows larger and larger, then explodes!

The light is blinding, the heat searing. Even as she's falling faster and faster towards the earth, her body is growing hotter and hotter. She can see the shock wave of the sun catching up with her, and then she's covered in a fiery bright light….

_Why do I smell bacon?_

Buffy gasps, and bolts upright out of her bed. Her eyes fly open, and almost immediately squeeze shut in the bright light of the morning sun. She's covered with sweat.

"What the hell?" She mutters, looking at herself, touching her skin. "I'm alive? I'm not burned up?"

She looks around, and realizes she's in her own bed, in her own room. Safe and sound.

_Weird!_

Buffy gets up, tossing off the blanket to reveal her nakedness. She's been sleeping nude since … she and Hank started sleeping together. Stretching, she realizes the room is warm. Very warm. She walks over, and opens a window.

"It was so… real!" She shudders, despite the heat.

Still touching and pinching herself, not believing she's alive, she pads around the room, opening another window in the process. A light cross breeze hits her, and she shivers. She's covered in sweat.

"God, why's it so hot in here?" She realizes the room is very warm, and very stuffy. She walks over and checks the thermostat. She quickly turns it way down.

_Damn! It was cold last night. I musta forgotten to set it back down when I went to bed. No wonder I'm sweating!_

_Yeah, and nearly falling to my death isn't scary? God, it was just a dream, Buff. Get over it. But … so real… just like the others. The ones in the dark where I feel him touching me, and I can smell his aftershave and hear him breathing in my ear…_

"Need a shower, now. I'm all sweaty…" She can't help feeling very dirty, somehow.

Walking over, she grabs some clothes, and makes for the door when she pauses . She looks at herself in the full length mirror hanging on her closet door. Turning this way and that, she looks for signs that she's beginning to show. _So far, so good. _

Her stomach grumbles, and she looks down at it.

"Well, good morning," She said softly, smiling faintly. "So, you're awake now? I hope you're not planning on making mommy sick today…"

She rubs the palm of her hand over her belly, feeling a little giddy and suddenly silly.

"I bet you're hungry, aren't you? Well of course you are. Little piglet. Gonna make mommy a big old fat sow, right? This is all your fault, you know. I won't be able to fit in anything cute once you start showing, piglet. You'll love that though, won't you? Mommy having her clothes made by Omar the tent maker. You little …" She pats her belly lovingly, then pushes it out as far as she can, while puffing out her cheeks. "Big old fat mommy, right? Think that's funny, don't you?" She pretends to waddle around the room, holding her belly as if it's huge and bulging. "Mrs. Puffball, that's who I am, right piglet?" She giggles, and then looks at herself in the mirror.

And just as quickly as it came, the goofy happy mood deserts her, leaving her in the middle of the room, feeling alone and stupid.

_What am I doing? I can't have this baby. My daddy's baby… oh god, this is so, so, so wrong… everything is just wrong… what we did is wrong. How could we sleep together so long, and not know this might happen? Two years? No closer to three, and we never…and what? I figured I'd never get caught? Nice, really nice. Crap! _

One tiny little light shines in the darkness she feels. _At least, I'm not all alone now. Maybe Faith can help me figure out what to do… god, I hope so…_

Reaching the door, she pulls it open, to have her nose assaulted by the bacon odor she smelled before.

It's a pleasant assault.

Buffy licks her lips, greedily. She loves bacon. _C'mon piglet Mom must be cooking breakfast. Totally cool! Hmmm… bacon… so… bacon, or shower? Bacon or shower…_ She catches a whiff of her own odor. _Ok, don't kill the cook. Shower first, then yummy bacon!_

She reaches the bathroom, and locks the door behind her, chortling.

_Hah! Beat Dawnie before she could hog all the hot water. She's sooo greedy sometimes!_

Quickly hanging her robe, she turns on the shower and steps in. She yelps when she realizes the spray is cold

_Dammit! I thought I beat her for once. God, it's so unfair!_

Shivering miserably, she reaches for the soap, scrubbing herself down. Despite the icy water needles, she really needs to shower. Now.

_So unfair, _She repeats, shivering.

All she wanted was a nice long warm shower. To feel clean again.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Joyce is moving about, cooking breakfast.

She is wearing a Nightgown and slippers, and her hair is still damp from the shower. She is humming a little tune, obviously in a very good mood.

She grabs some eggs, and is standing by the stove , cracking them and dumping the contents into a frying pan when Faith comes up behind her and , encircling her waist with her arms, kisses her on the neck.

"FAITH!" Joyce protests, almost dropping the eggs. "What're you doing!"

"Mmmm… dunno…" Faith, dressed in a borrowed robe, her hair also still damp, presses up against her. "Wanna guess?" She nibbles on Joyce's ear.

"Goodness, what's with you?" Joyce giggles, starting to get those squirmy tingly feelings in her core only Faith seems to bring out in her. "Didn't you get enough last night? We hardly slept as it is…" Joyce sighs as Faith's tongue touches her ear. "I… gotta get breakfast ready."

"Who's stopping you, baby?" Faith licks Joyce's neck. "I'm just hungry…"

Joyce, startled, and shivering, drops an eggshell into the pan.

"Look what you made me do!" She uses the spatula to dig the shell out of the pan. "Behave! I … ohhhh… gotta get this done. I mean, you just said you were… mmmm… hungry, right?" Joyce starts to pant a little.

"Not for food, lover," Faith whispers. "You…hmmmm… let's see…" She licks Joyce's neck again, eliciting a soft sigh from Joyce. "Tasty neck…" She tugs at Joyce's robe, revealing her shoulder. She kisses Joyce's shoulder, getting another sigh. "Tasty shoulder…" Her hands come up, and start to tug at the lapels of Joyce's robe, pulling it open." Oooo… tasty ti…"

"Stop that!" Joyce reaches behind, and slaps her hand across Faith's bottom. "Behave yourself." I've got to get breakfast done!"

"Hmmm… why? I can think of a lot of tastier things for breakfast…" Faith slips her hand into the pocket of Joyce's robe, and starts to rub it against her thigh. "Can't you?" She starts to rub herself against Joyce's back.

_Oh… god…_ Joyce pants heavily, feeling a definite dampness forming between her thighs.

"You don't have two very voracious teenage daughters about to descend… uhhhh… what was I saying? Oh yes… daughters… about to descend… demanding to be … ohhhh… fed… mmmm…"

"Mmmm… let 'em get their own girl," Faith breathes in her ear. "Got mine."

"C'mon, Faith, behave…" Joyce whimpers softly. "You're such a perv…"

"Oh, is that right? And who bought that little toy you almost floored me with when you pulled it out of your dresser drawer? Talk about kinky…" Faith's hand, still in Joyce's pocket, moves towards her center. " So tell me, baby…" She starts to rub over Joyce's freshly barbered mound. "Was I stud enough for you?" She feels Joyce's slickness through the robe pocket, and chuckles.

"Faith, please stop…" Joyce is almost moaning now, and turns, to confront her.

Bad tactical mistake.

Faith, as soon as Joyce is turning around, frees her hand, and pulls her into a very passionate kiss.

Her tongue presses against Joyce's lips, demanding entrance. At first, Joyce resists, trying to keep a lid on this little passionate tryst. But her will weakens, and her desire strengthens, and her mouth opens, eagerly sucking in Faiths' warm, wet tongue. Soon, hers and Faith's are caressing lovingly, as Faith's hands, and her own, find their way under each other's robes.

"Oh. My. God!"

Joyce looks up, startled, to see her youngest standing in the doorway. Faith turns, smirking at both Joyce's and Dawn's obvious discomfort.

"Oh…My… GOD!" Dawn backs out of the kitchen, hitting her butt against doorknob and yelping. Covering her face with her hands, she stumbles to the table and sits down.

Joyce looks at Faith. Faith just shrugs, and grabbing a cup of coffee, exits the kitchen.

"Oh, quit being the drama queen," Faith chides her, following her into the room. She sits down next to her, shaking her head. "Never mind a total mood killer."

"I saw my mom… having sex… in the kitchen. Where the food comes from! I'm scarred for life. Grossed out, and scarred for life."

"Don't be an idiot, Dawnie. We weren't having sex…" Faith gives her a playful little shove. "We were just making out."

"Well, it could've been sex. God, haven't you heard of privacy? Get a room, any room … anywhere where I'm not likely to trip over you while you're doing the horizontal mambo. Geeze…" Dawn visibly shudders. "I so don't need to see my mom naked…"

"She wasn't naked! She's wearing a dressing gown… really hard to get to the good parts…" Faith grumbles.

"Cripes! I don't need to hear that!" Dawn covers her ears. "What about you… you're almost naked!"

"I'm wearing a robe… what? I need to go formal around here?"

"Yeah, well robes are notorious for slipping off and winding up on the floor…" Dawn suddenly blushes under the look Faith throws her.

"And, how would _you_ know that, oh virginally one?" Faith leans in, giving her a smirk. "Where have you been dropping robes and getting naked, huh? Sure your mom would love to hear about that…"

"Hear about what?" Joyce, having straightened up a little, comes in, bearing a plate of food. She sets it before Dawn. "What do I want to hear?"

"NOTHING!" Dawn bursts out. "nothing important…" she gives her plate a slightly appalled look.

It takes a moment for Joyce to understand Dawn's reaction, and another to blush. But not from embarrassment.

"Oh for goodness sake, Dawn. We weren't doing anything nasty. We were just kissing…" _Well, I wasn't, anyway…_" I mean, you better get used to it, young lady, because you're going to… ok, what're you grinning at?"

"Just happy you two made it up," Dawn says, picking up a fork. "And, yanking your chain, mom. You're sooo cute when you get defensive…" Giggling, Dawn starts on her breakfast.

Joyce stares at her daughter with a rueful grin, and goes back in the kitchen.

"So, you're not scarred for life then," Faith gently teases her as she sips her coffee.

"Oh, you bet I am. Mom and sex? … not a pretty thought. Is there some kind of law against it or something… but, I'm glad you made it up…" Dawn takes a bite of food, "I knew if you guys just talked it out…"

"Wasn't much talkin' involved, Dawnie."

Dawn almost spits the food back onto the plate. As is, she gets that horrified look back on her face.

"Eating here, ok? That image is really _not_ helping my appetite."

"Look, babe, you're gonna have to get used to the idea. People have sex… even parent type people…"

Joyce returns from the kitchen, with another plate for Faith. She sets it down in front of her.

"Thanks baby, I'm starved," Faith, without thinking, reaches up and pulls Joyce into another kiss.

"Aw, geeze…"

Dawn, Faith and Joyce all look up to see Buffy framed in the doorway, staring at Joyce and Faith. There is a nervous silence.

_Oh, god, here it comes, _Joyce thinks, feeling her stomach start to twist up in knots.

"Buffy, there's something I have to tell you…"

"Something other than grossing me out in the morning? Why don't you guys get a room, or something…" She walks towards the kitchen. "Any grub left?"

You could've knocked Joyce and Dawn over with a feather. Faith, in the know, gives Buffy a subtle thumbs up.

Buffy stops at the kitchen door when she sees her sister's and her  
mother's eyes glued on her.

"Ok, what? Is something hanging out? Just tell me for Christ's sake!"

"Buffy, I …well, gosh, this is even harder than I thought it would  
be." Joyce pauses a moment, collecting her thoughts. "Buffy, Faith  
and I are…"

"Lovers? Yeah, ok, I get that…" She sees the surprised look on their  
faces. "What? What kind of stupid do you think I am? The girl brings  
me home from a party, and suddenly she's moving in? And those lame  
excuses to get out of the house? I can do better than that  
unconscious. " She shrugs, and pushes open the door. "I'm not dumb, ya  
know!" With that, she disappears into the kitchen.

Joyce sinks into a chair, looking befuddled. Dawn for her part,  
stares at the kitchen door. Faith just shrugs, and takes a sip of  
coffee.

"Did I miss something?" Joyce finally says, looking at Dawn. "Did you  
tell her?"

"No mom, not me! Geeze, I want to be the one to take the wrath of Mt.  
Buffy? Heck no!"

"Oh, cuz I thought maybe that's what you two fought about…"

"No, trust me, it wasn't that!" She stares at the kitchen door. "I  
personally think she's a pod person, and right now Buffy is being  
transported…"

"Yeah, well, who really cares what you think, squirt?" Buffy comes  
through the door, carrying a plate of food. "Good grub, mom. I'm  
totally starving."

Buffy rounds the table, sitting next to Dawn.

"Buffy, I don't understand. You're ok with me and Faith?" Joyce is  
still confused, still awaiting the eruption.

"Ok with it?" Buffy shrugs, taking a bite of her breakfast. "Dunno.  
Does it really matter? I mean… look, would I rather dad were sitting  
there, and you and he were like together and in love and all that  
junk? Oh yeah, believe me, I want my family as it was. But… let's get  
real. Dad's pretty much gone. You're divorcing him, and well… he's  
not around a lot…" Buffy makes a rueful face. "And well, it's your  
life, you know? Not my choice, particularly… no offense, Faith…"

"None taken, babe."

"… but if Faith makes you happy, well, damn, I'm cool with it…" She  
looks at Joyce, and her face softens. "Mom, like I said last night. I  
know I've been a total bitch around here. But I love you, I really  
do. I want you to be happy, ya know? I mean, there are stranger  
things in life…" She looks over at Dawn, and smirks. "Like Dawn and  
Xander… now, that's just plain weird!"

"HEY!" Dawn gives her a dirty look.

"Hey, back at ya, squirt. But if he floats your boat, well, I'm happy  
for you, too…"

Dawn sits there, surprised and suspicious. Still, she just shakes her  
head, figuring big sis has finally gone totally around the bend.

Joyce, on the other hand, gets up and goes over to Buffy, giving her  
a hug. She leans in, and gives her a kiss on the head.

"Whoa, mom, no need to get mushy… anyway, Faith might get jealous, ya  
know?" She smirks at the dark haired girl across the room.

"Ok, that was just… sick," Dawn makes a gagging noise.

"Shut up, pinhead. No one asked you!"

"That's ok, munchkin. That was on the house," Dawn retorts, deciding  
to ignore her older, crazy sister. She turns to Faith. "So, when you  
moving back in? Cuz I so want you to teach me to ride a motorcycle…"

"Yeah, when you getting your sorry butt back where you belong?" Buffy  
chimes in. "Cuz I'm expecting rides to school, ya know!"

"You're so not! She's taking me to school!"

Faith and Joyce look at each other.

"About that…" Joyce says, sitting back down by Faith. "For right now?  
We both agree it's best we don't live together…"

"Huh?"

"What? Why not?!"

"Well, there's still the matter of your father…"

Two blank faces confront her.

"Custody issues. He's still trying to get custody, and if Faith is  
living here, and we're openly a couple… and that's the only way it's  
going to be…" She takes Faith's hand. " … it's best we wait until  
everything is settled before Faith lives here full time. I don't want  
to give him anything he can use to take you girls from me."

"Well, that blows!" Dawn says, frowning.

"He wouldn't do that," Buffy sounds offended. "Why do you always got  
to make him out as the monster, mom? Maybe he's moved on too, you  
know…"

"Buffy, he already tried it…"

"What?" She looks at Faith, questioningly.

Joyce catches the look, and suddenly understands Buffy's apparent  
calm.

"I'm guessing that Faith didn't tell you…"

"Tell me? What're you talking about?"

"Give it up, Buff. Your mom's not dumb," She turns to Joyce, grinning  
ruefully. "I thought she should know…"

"I wish you had talked with me about it…"

"Well, we weren't exactly talking at the time…"

"Mom, ok, she told me. But I kinda had a clue before. But what's this  
about Dad ?"

Joyce briefly explains what Hank did in Boston, and Faith  
corroborates her story.

Buffy shakes her head, as if trying to dislodge the words.

"No… he wouldn't do that! He's my dad… he wouldn't pull something  
like…" but she trails off, remembering what Hank had asked her to  
do. "Well, if he did it, it's because he wanted to keep us together.  
As a family!"

"Yes, he did," Joyce admits, but then frowns. "I just wish it were  
for the right reasons…"

"What do you mean?"

"Buffy, the only reason he wanted us to be a family was because he  
was dealing with a very conservative client in Boston that was strong  
on family and family values… whatever that's supposed to mean. And  
he knew if we were divorced, he'd lose the deal."

This is the first time Faith's hearing this, and she feels the Irish  
temper in her rising. That's why he wrecked our lives? Put us  
through hell…for some fucking business deal? That fucking…

"No. I'm sorry, but no. I don't believe it!"

"Buffy…"

"I'm sorry mom. I love you, but you're wrong. He's my dad, mom, and I  
know… he couldn't … wouldn't do something like that… not for a  
business deal… " She's wrong. She has to be wrong! He's my dad! He  
wouldn't do anything so cold…

"Look, Buff. Your mom wouldn't lie to you…"

"Faith, no offense, but this is my dad. I know him, and you don't. He  
wouldn't do something like that. He's my dad!"

"Mom, maybe you're wrong?" Dawn interjects. "I hate to agree with  
Buffy on anything, but I can't believe dad would do that…"

Joyce looks at both of them, and sighs.

"I don't want to hurt you, or argue with you. But he told me that,  
and threatened if I didn't play along, he'd take you away, and make  
my relationship with Faith into some kind of scandal. Make it dirty  
and wrong… and it wasn't… but I couldn't lose you… either of you… so  
I …" She turns to Faith, taking her hand again, a mournful look in  
her eyes. "I hurt Faith … I abandoned her, without telling her why,  
because he said he'd make trouble for her if I didn't…" A tear rolls  
down her cheek. "I'm so sorry honey, but I couldn't lose my babies…  
and you too…"

"It's ok, Joyce," Faith reaches out, brushing the tears from Joyce's  
cheek. "It's ok now…"

Buffy and Dawn sit stunned, the revelation too much for them to  
process.

Dawn feels betrayed. For herself and her mom. She knows her mom, and  
she couldn't be lying. Not seeing her so hurt by even the memory. But  
accepting that her father, her own father, could do this, is beyond  
painful.

Buffy for her part, feels as if she's been cut off at the knees. She  
can't believe this. If she does, then everything else could be a lie.  
Would be a lie… and she can't face that reality. She withdraws into  
herself, not able to deal.

At that moment, the doorbell rings.

Everyone is startled, but grateful for the distraction.

"Who could that be?" Joyce looks at her watch. "Kind of early for  
visitors…"

"Oh gosh. I forgot! That must be Xander and Willow. They…well, we're  
going to the beach. First day off restriction… we're going to  
celebrate…"

"Yeah…" Buffy chimes in, not sounding particularly enthused. She's  
still somewhat in shock. "I guess we better get ready to go…"

The doorbell rings again… a few times, actually.

"Well, you better get that before someone punches a hole in the  
doorbell…" Joyce says, recovering. "Lunch? What about lunches? Do you  
need money?"

"No, we're…"

Buffy cuts her off.

"If you could spare… 20?" She looks at her mom.

"Where do you plan on eating? Spago's?"

"Mom…"

"Ok, ok… let me get my purse."

The doorbell rings again.

"Gonna get that today, squirt?" Buffy asks, "or are you tired of your  
boyfriend already?"

"What about you? Maybe it's your girlfriend. After all, she's coming  
along, too, you know."

Buffy reddens. "I wish you'd stop saying that. I'm not gay!"

"You know what they say about homophobes, Buffy…" Seeing Buffy's  
expression, Dawn quickly gets up to answer the door.

"What about that thing we talked about, Buffy?" Faith says  
obliquely. "We're going to do that soon, right?"

"Faith!" Buffy looks around nervously. "Yeah, ok, but not today."

"But soon…"

"Ok!"

"Hey, Buff. Hey sexy woman I seem to remember but can't remember her  
name…" Xander walks in with Dawn on his arm. "Ready to fly?" He asks  
Buffy.

Dawn punches him on the arm.

"Hey!" Xander protests, rubbing his arm. "What was that for?"

" 'Sexy woman I seem to remember but can't remember her name?' Flirt  
much, Mr. Harris?"

"Faith," Faith stands, offering her hand. "So, you must be the  
infamous Xander…?" She smirks at Dawn.

"Infamous? Me?"

"Oh yeah, Dawn goes on and on and on about you…" Buffy makes a  
face. "Trust me, it gets old, really fast."

"Don't listen to either of them. They're on drugs."

"Where's Willow?" Buffy asks, noting the redhead's absence.

"What's wrong, Buffy? Miss your girlfriend already?" Dawn teases her.

"No, just nice to have someone around to make fun of you and Xander  
with." She arches a brow. "Not that I need it."

"Willow said she had something to do this morning. Said she'd meet us  
at the Espresso Pump."

Joyce enters with her purse. She hands Buffy some money.

"Good morning, Mrs. S. You look nice…"

"Thank you, Xander. Here's some money, Buffy." She looks at the  
group. "Where's your little friend, Willow?"

Xander, Dawn and even Faith burst out laughing at that. Buffy looks  
consternated.

"Would EVERYBODY just stop that!!!" Buffy, in a snit, walks out,  
grabbing the bill out of Joyce's hand on the way.

"What did I say?" She turns to Faith. "What did I say?"

"Nothing," Faith, still chuckling, waves at her to sit down. "You  
guys better hurry or she'll leave without you!"

"That would be bad… why?" Dawn asks.

"Dawn. That's enough!" She stands up, and gives her daughter a  
hug. "Have a nice time, ok?"

"Aw mom!"

"Nice seeing you all again," Xander waves, and grabbing Dawn's hand,  
starts towards the door.

"What time will you be home?" Joyce calls out.

"Dunno yet. Later…"

"Bye, Mrs. S, Faith. Nice seeing you again… OW! Stop that!"

They exit through the front door.

Joyce stands staring at the front door, a slightly nostalgic look on  
her face.

"What's up, babe?" Faith asks after a moment.

"Oh nothing. Just, they're growing up so fast. I mean, Buffy will  
probably going to college next year, and Dawn… just two more years  
and she's gone…" Joyce shrugs, turning towards the table. She catches  
Faith's smile. "What?"

"Missing them already, and they're not even gone yet," Faith says,  
standing up. "Someone's got an Empty nest thing going…"

"I dunno…" Joyce says. "Maybe."

"Well…" Faith walks over, and slips her arms around Joyce. "Guess  
it's my job to …" her hands slip up, cupping Joyce's breasts through  
her housecoat. "… to help you with that." She kisses Joyce's  
neck. "You, me, empty house. Got any ideas?" She squeezes Joyce's  
breasts meaningfully.

"Faith… dishes…" Joyce sighs, her body already responding. "I should…"

"Trust me, they're not going nowhere. They'll be here later…"

"Don't you ever get tired?" Joyce complains, weakly, as she feels the  
tingles getting stronger.

"Uh-uh…" Faith's hand slips down, under Joyce's Nightgown. "You tired  
of me already?"

"Fuck no," Joyce growls, really getting heated.

"JOY!" Faith is startled. She can't remember Joyce ever dropping the  
F-Bomb outside the bedroom before.

"You started it!" Joyce says, turning and grabbing her hand. "C'mon.  
it's my turn to wear that toy…" She starts to pull Faith along after  
her.

Oh, my god! Faith thinks, stumbling along quickly after Joyce. I've  
created a monster…

She grins as she feels her nipples rub against the rough cloth of the  
terry robe she's wearing.

I like it!

2

Willow waits nervously on the large verandah, staring at the door.

God, this place always gives me the creeps. How can anyone actually  
live here? She looks around at the columned porch, feeling like she's  
waiting at a museum, rather than someone's actual house. Well, I  
guess if you're rolling in it, this is just a regular house. Still,  
it's … Willow shudders.

Willow's finger is just going for the doorbell again, when the large  
front door opens and a man in his mid forties, dressed formally in a  
suit, answers.

"Yes? Oh, Miss Willow. Well, I must say, this is a surprise. It's  
been awhile since you've been here." Even his smile reflects his  
station, being rather formal. "Are you well?" He looks doubtful.

"Hello, Charles," Willow says politely, ignoring the rest. "I'm here  
to see Cordelia. She here?"

"Miss Cordelia didn't mention you were coming," Charles steps back,  
inviting her in. "I suppose you should come in…"

Willow steps across the threshold, and follows Charles as he leads  
her to one of the sitting rooms downstairs.

"If you'll wait here, I'll see if Miss Cordelia is receiving."  
Charles hurriedly makes a retreat through the doorway.

Receiving? What, is this like a coronation or something? Ok, that was  
dumb. She's the queen of Sunnydale. What was I thinking?

Willow wanders into the room, and the museum vibe she had earlier is  
even stronger. The room looks like a museum, with the artwork and  
period furniture and rugs that cost more than her parent's house.  
Everything is original, expensive, artfully arranged… and has the  
appearance of never actually being used. Willow refrains from  
sitting, not exactly sure if she's allowed to.

Did I say museum? I'm thinking, monument. To all the chase wealth.  
Creepy doesn't even begin to explain it… wait, Cordelia lives here…  
maybe it does…

She walks over, and picks up a small ivory statuette. It's  
exquisitely carved, depicting an old man sitting with a basket of  
fish in front of him.

"You might want to put that down. It's from the late Sung dynasty,  
nearly a 1000 years old and well, let's just say it would take you a  
long time to replace it."

"I was just looking at it," Willow quickly replaces the statuette. "I  
wasn't gonna steal it…" She turns, and her words die away.

Cordelia is standing at the doorway in a red silk wrapper, her  
hair 'casually' up, framing her face nicely. Her makeup is demure and  
perfect, and her body is evident in the thin robe. Despite her anger,  
Willow can't help feeling some major tingles, looking at her.

She enters the room, taking possession of everything in it. Including  
Willow.

"So, what did I do to deserve a visit from Saint Willow? Coming to  
tell me what a horrible bitch I am? Or did somebody die? Surely this  
isn't a social call…" She walks over, her hips undulating sexily as  
she approaches Willow. "… or is it?" Her fingertip casually finds  
it's way onto Willow's arm, causing her to tingle. "Don't you got  
elsewhere to be?" She frowns, withdrawing her finger and putting her  
hands on her hips. "Or maybe your idea of fun is making my life  
miserable."

Willow can't fail to notice that Cordelia's wrapper tightened when  
her hands went to her hips, emphasizing her bust just a little more.  
Damn her, she did that deliberately. She knows I'm looking at her.  
Damn her!

"Never mind, if you're gonna be snarky with me, I'll just…" Willow  
starts to go around her, but Cordelia blocks her path. "I'd like to  
go now."

"Naw, what's the rush? I mean, you must've come here for some reason,  
right? I hardly think you were 'just in the neighborhood' and dropped  
by. As if!" Cordelia chuckles at her own little joke. "So, what's the  
sitch, girl? Why did you come here?"

I'm here, might as well try…

"Look, Cor, I know you're mad at me, but couldn't you back off on  
Buffy?" Willow, nervous under Cordelia's gaze, rushes on. "I know you  
hate me. I get that. I didn't mean for our secret to come out. That  
was an accident, you know? You must've had accidents. Ok? So, if you  
wanna be all pissed and angry with me, cool. You can get as nasty as  
you want with me, I don't care. But Buffy's going through a rough  
patch, and you being nasty with her, is only hurting her. Not me,  
her. So, how about just letting it go, ok?"

Cordelia stands there, as Willow babbles on. There is something  
hungry and predatory in her look. She then turns, and pulling her  
wrapper just a bit tighter, walks over to a settee, her hips swaying  
with just a little deliberation. She settles on a settee as Willow  
winds up her speech.

"Well, come over and sit. I'm not going to yell at you across the  
room, you know." Cordelia waves for her to sit across from her.

Willow, despite the images of parlors and spiders and flies flashing  
through her brain, walks over and sits down primly across from  
Cordelia. Her body is tense, alert. Ready to run at a moment's notice.

"So, that's what this is all about. Willow is on one of her 'save the  
girl' crusades again? Hmmm… I guess I can see that. Because, you  
always had a soft spot in your heart for lost puppies, didn't you,  
Will?" Cordelia pouts her lips at Willow. "Poor Buffy. That's what  
she is, isn't she? Some poor little wiggly puppy, lost in the big bad  
of Sunnydale." She bursts out laughing, unable to keep a straight  
face. "Gimme a break, would you? Buffy's a big girl. She crossed me,  
and she knows it. If she can't take the heat, get the hell out of the  
kitchen. She's no lost puppy. She's a total bitch. Just like me!"

"That's not true. She's not a bitch at all…"

"But I am, because I'm trying to protect what's mine?" Cordelia  
arches a brow. " Get real, Willow. Buffy's just like me, whether you  
wanna admit it or not. It's been a power play since day one. I saw  
it, pegged it, and warned her to back off. But she wouldn't. She just  
had to try to be top dog, you know? And when I squashed her, she goes  
running to her protector, Willow, with her tail between her legs,  
crying foul. Never mind she trashed me around school. Never mind she  
was all eager to please until I busted her for being what she is. She  
wanted the power, and when she couldn't handle the simple little  
initiation, she gets all snotty and gets you against me. Well, excuse  
me if I don't feel sorry for 'Poor little puppy Buffy'. Gotta watch  
out for puppies, Will. They got teeth, and they'll use them."

"You don't know Buffy. You don't know anything!" Willow says,  
flushing angrily. "You never even wanted to know her. You saw her,  
and you saw another toy to play with and discard when you got tired  
of it. You come off as all offended because of her trampling your  
territory. Get real, Cordelia. Your dad practically owns Sunnydale.  
Who is gonna be a real threat to you? No one, that's who. No, it  
wasn't about 'protecting your own'. It was about power. Having it,  
using it on her, and when you got bored, throwing her back to the  
sharks around you. Just like …" Willow cuts off, slamming her fist on  
her thigh.

"You?" Cordelia says, suddenly off her settee, and nearly  
overwhelming Willow on hers. "Was that what you were going to say? I  
did that to you?"

Cordelia's face, body and voice take on big changes. The look of  
contempt is gone, replaced by a big hurt. Her body is suddenly soft  
and compliant, and nearly pressing on Willows'. Her voice goes soft,  
almost demure.

"You think I used you, don't you? You still think that?" Cordelia's  
eyes are wide and bright, the tears threatening. "God, you don't even  
have the faintest clue, do you? What you mean to me? How much I … how  
much I need you!" She reaches out, cupping Willow's face. "God I love  
you so much. I wanted everything for you. For YOU! I would've made  
you my queen, lover. No one would dare mess with you, because I  
would've crushed them like bugs, if they even looked cross eyed at  
you! All you had to do was go along, trust me, not freak out like  
you did, and you would've had it all…"

Willow is on sensory overload. Cordelia so close, so soft… the smell  
of her perfume, mixed with her own unique scent. She can feel her  
warmth washing over her like waves on a barren shore. The fact that  
her wrapper has loosened, and her breasts are threatening to fall  
out. Her lips, so soft, so close, so…

"No…" Willow scoots away, her body wanting to go in the other  
direction. "No, you hurt me! You betrayed me! How can you say you  
loved me when you got me raped?"

"That wasn't what it was about. I told you… I had to do it. If I  
didn't, you'd never be a part of it. There would always be talk. That  
you were just favored, just a toy to be disposed of. You had to go  
through that so the others would accept you as one of us. All the  
way. I knew I couldn't talk you into it. You'd balk, or run away, and  
I'd lose you. And I didn't want to lose you! It had to be that way.  
If you'd just waited for me, I would've explained it all to you. I  
would've taken the hurt away. But you didn't…"

"How could I, after that? You used me, like a piece of meat. You  
drugged me, and passed me around to your friends to use… what if I  
got pregnant? What if I got a disease? Would you care? I don't think  
so! You would've just dropped me like… garbage… that's all I was,  
wasn't it? Garbage!" Willow has started to cry. "I loved you so much,  
if you'd only asked me, I would've done anything for you… even that,  
if you asked. But you didn't…"

"Baby, don't. Don't!" Cordelia wraps her arms around the crying girl,  
pulling her close. She holds her head to her breast, smoothing her  
hair, caressing her. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I had to test you,  
don't you see? Life is cruel and harsh. It eats the weak; only the  
strong survive. I had to see if you were strong, and baby you're  
strong. You could've hurt me back, bad, but you didn't. You protected  
me. God, I love you so much, I just want to prove it to you. Let me  
prove it to you…" She kisses Willow on the top of her head. "Let me  
love you, please, let me love you…"

"Test me?" Willow stiffens, and pulls away. "You had to test me? You  
didn't believe me all those times I said I love you? What about the  
times when we made love up in your room, in our own little world…  
just you and me, and it was so sweet and right. I adored you,  
worshiped you. Did you think I was kidding around? Did you think I  
was using you? How could you think that? I gave everything I had to  
you, and you needed to test me…" Her face softens, and she reaches  
out, her hand touching Cordelia's. "What did they do to you, Cor,  
that you couldn't hear what my heart was singing to you?" She shakes  
her head sadly. She stands up, looking down on Cordelia. "I feel so  
bad for you right now…"

Cordelia's defenses come up like a steel wall.

"I don't need your pity…" She says, her tone harsh. "You have no idea  
what my life is about, what I have to do to keep it like it is. All I  
did was test you, to see if you were for real, and you failed. Hear  
me? YOU failed! Not me!"

"Maybe I did," Willow says softly, moving away. "Maybe I should've  
seen what was right in front of me…" She turns to Cordelia, her face  
reflecting her deep hurt. "We never could be, could we? It …we… you  
and me… never could be. You could never trust me. Even now, after all  
that's happened between us. You'd always have to test me, again and  
again, and I'd fail, over and over. Not a lot, not enough for you to  
kick me to the curb, but I'd never be perfect … not in your eyes. It  
must be lonely to be you. Really lonely."

"Shut up! Feeling all superior, aren't you? Think you are better than  
me? Well, you're not. You've got your own tests. You're no better  
than me. At least, I'm not a hypocrite, like you!" Cordelia sweeps up  
off the settee, coming over to Willow, pulling her wrapper tightly  
around herself. "I'm not good enough for you? Is that it? Well, get a  
clue, girl. You're no where near good enough for me!"

Willow appraises her calmly. The need to hurt her back, sting her is  
gone. She finally sees Cordelia Chase for what she is. A lonely,  
miserable girl who never will be able to let anyone in. Despite what  
she's done to her, Willow can't help but feel sorry for her. At  
least, someday, I know I'll love somebody more than myself.

"I know," Willow says softly, "Goodbye, Cordelia." She turns to go.

"Get out! You don't walk out on me! I'm throwing you out!" She rushes  
over, blocking Willow. "You came to me! I didn't come to you!  
Remember that!"

"I know," Willow repeats, walking through the doorway.

"I don't need you!" Cordelia yells at her retreating back. "I never  
needed you! I don't need ANYONE! I'm strong! A lot stronger than you.  
ANY OF YOU! I didn't come crawling to you! You came to ME! HEAR ME!  
YOU CAME TO ME!! I WIN! Loser, I WIN!"

She keeps yelling at her until Willow walks through the front door,  
closing it behind her.

"I WIN! DO YOU HEAR ME! I WIN! I ALWAYS WIN!"

Cordelia stands in the cavernous hall, surrounded by more things than  
anyone would ever need.

In the end, she has nothing. Nothing at all.

"I win!"

She mutters it to herself repeatedly, as she turns and walks down  
the hall. Suddenly, everything is too big, she fells too small. She  
needs her room, somewhere where she feels safe.

"I always win."

3

"C'mon, Dad. Answer the door, please," Buffy mutters to herself.

She raps her knuckles sharply on the small apartment door  
impatiently. She's already knocked a few times, and is despairing of  
getting to see her father. And she needs to see her father.

Sighing, she hunkers down, squatting in the hallway by the door. If  
she has to wait all day, she plans on waiting. After all, she doesn't  
have anywhere else to be. Not now.

Not after she broke her plans for today.

"Hey, guys!" Willow entered the shop, and walked over to the three of  
them sitting at one of the small tables. "Sorry I'm so late. Got hung  
up."

"We were about to call out the National Guard, Will," Xander teased  
her, "figured you'd been kidnapped or something…"

"You don't call the National Guard for that, Xander," Willow  
retorted. "That would be the FBI."

"Yeah, well, when I turn up missing, you call who you want. Me, I'm  
going with the guys who are looking for a few good men."

"Ok, well, first thing? Not a man, if you hadn't noticed," Willow  
arched a brow, "And secondly? That's the Marine's slogan, not the  
National Guard."

"Do they always do this?" Buffy asked.

"Pretty much. I think it's a thing with them."

"What?" Xander looked at them innocently. "What thing."

Dawn and Buffy just look heavenward.

"Anyway, we better be getting if we're going to catch any good rays,  
you know?" Xander stood up. "Hate to have my women pale…"

"Your women?" Dawn and Willow say at the same time.

"Can you believe that? He thinks we're like, his property or  
something!" Dawn says, shaking her head.

"So typical," Willow said, "and, anyway, you know I don't tan,  
Xander. Burn like a lobster, but no tan."

"Help, Buffy! They're ganging up on me…" Xander threw up his hands in  
surrender.

"No help here. I'm with them," Buffy said, "Anyway, uhhh… guys, kinda  
feeling punk…" She stood up. "Think I'm gonna pass and go back home…"

"Buffy… what's wrong?" Willow came over. "You still got that flu?"  
She gives Buffy a look.

"Yeah, something like that… feeling a little queasy, you know?"

"Do you want me to come with? I mean, you know…"

"NO! I … thanks, but I'll be fine. I think I just need to lie down…"

"What's going on?" Dawn asked, suspiciously, "You were fine an hour  
ago… you were looking forward to this. What's the deal."

"Don't you listen? I'm feeling punk. It just kinda came on. No doubt  
due to having to be with you waiting around for an hour…" Buffy  
snapped. God, why does she do that, anyway?

"Well, gee, don't have a Guernsey, Buff. I was just asking…"

"Sorry, just not feeling good…" Buffy shrugged. "I really don't wanna  
spoil your guys' fun, you know?"

"That's a switch," Dawn grumbled, subsiding.

"Hey, Buff. No big. We'll do it again. Just get well, ok?" Xander  
came over to Dawn.

"Buffy, you sure you're ok? I mean, I don't mind skipping…"

"Oh, man, not you too!" Dawn complained. "This is totally starting to  
suck."

"Hey, I'll be there!" Xander interjected.

"No, really, Will. I'll be fine, ok? Just… gotta go. See you in  
school Monday, ok?"

"Ok, Buff… " She came over, and gave Buffy a hug. "If you need  
anything, even to just talk, you call me, hear?" She whispered in  
Buffy's ear.

"Ok, thanks Will," Buffy quickly broke the hug. "Gotta go, guys.  
Seeya later…"

She quickly ducked out of the Espresso Pump before any more questions  
come her way.

Get a clue, guys. Geeze… Buffy thinks, as she starts down the street,  
away from home.

Willow, watching her go, noted the wrong direction. She's not heading  
home. Something's up… then she sighed. Well, whatever it is, not  
your biz until she lets you in on it…

"So, guys… ready to motor?" Willow turned back to the others.

"We've been ready, for awhile," Xander complained just a little.

"I told you I'm sorry, Xander…"

"Yeah, let it go and lets went…" Dawn is up, heading for the door.  
Willow catches up with her, distracting her so she can't see  
Buffy. "Hey, Dawn, is Buffy ok? I mean, has she been acting weird?"

"You're kidding, right? Who can tell. I mean, look up weird in the  
dictionary, and there's Buffy's picture next to it."

"Ok…" Willow sounded unsure.

"Let's just forget my bratty sister, and have a good time, ok?"

"I second that. Well, except the bratty and forgetting part. But I'm  
down with the good time," Xander says.

"Yeah, ok, you're right…" Willow led the way out. "Let's motor."

Xander followed out after Dawn. He paused for a moment, watching  
Willow and Dawn chatter away ahead of him. Something's up with Will.  
I know it. Why the mystery errand, and all… not like she didn't know  
our plans for today. And, not even talking about it. Trying to avoid  
it, actually… hmmm…

He left, still puzzling over it.

"Buffy?"

Buffy, lost in her thought, looks up to see Hank Summer standing over  
her.

"Dad!" Buffy smiles, standing up. She winces. "Tingles, sorry." She  
rubs her leg.

"You ok?" he asks, coming over. "I can do that for you…"

"No, no, I'm ok, Dad." Buffy moves just a little away, rubbing her  
calf.

"Honey, what're you doing here?" Hank asks, pulling his keys out of  
his pocket. "I mean, I'm glad you came, but maybe you should've  
called first. I would've been here to meet you."

"I've been trying to call, Dad. But all I ever get is your voicemail.  
Except lately. Now it's saying your voicemail is full…" She shakes  
her leg, trying to get the blood flowing.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that Buffy. Been real busy, trying to get a  
client onboard. Been hectic," He opens the door. "C'mon in hon," he  
gestures to her, holding the door for her.

Buffy squeezes past him, brushing against him in the process. She  
walks into the small living room, looking for a place to sit.

The apartment is neater than the motel room he stayed in, but all in  
all, it's still very impersonal. Nothing says anyone in particular  
lives here. No pictures, no knick-knacks, nothing that you wouldn't  
find in a mid priced hotel room. Even the furniture seems impersonal,  
picked for function and not form. The only way you can tell someone  
is living here is some clothing tossed on the couch, and some food  
containers that haven't made the trash quite yet.

"Love what you've done with the place, " Buffy says politely.

"I'm not here much… gonna get better stuff later," Hank apologizes.  
He walks towards the kitchen. "Can I get you something? I think I've  
got some coke…"

"Water's good," Buffy says, moving some clothes and sitting on the  
couch.

"I can do that," Hank jokes, opening the fridge and grabbing a  
bottle. "Did you want a glass?"

"No, bottle's ok."

"Ok doke, then," Hank grabs a beer for himself, and makes his way  
back to the living room. He hands her the water, then sits in the  
chair across from her. "So, how are you, Buffy?"

"I'm ok," Buffy sets the water, unopened, down on the table.

"Good, good," Hank nods, popping the tab on the beer. He takes a  
sip. "How's school?"

"School's school," Buffy twists the cap off the water. She takes a  
swallow. "I mean, I'm doing ok, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, Math's hard. But that's not news… and I really hate physics.  
Who's going to use that in real life, I wanna know, you know?" She  
shrugs, taking a sip of water. "But I'm doing ok…"

"You sure? I mean, you'll be going to college next year. I don't want  
you to flunk out or get bad grades. Maybe we should arrange for a  
tutor?"

"No, that's ok. I got Willow. She helps… she's really smart and  
stuff."

"Oh, this a friend? I don't know your friends this year…"

Me either, come to think about it. "Well yeah, new school and all.  
Like I said, she's cool, and smart. If I need help, she'll help…"

"That's good." There's a pause while Hank takes another swallow of  
beer. "Friends are good to have. Who else is your friend, these days?"

"Dad, I didn't come here to talk about school or my friends or stuff."

"Oh, right. Of course. So, Buffy, what can I do for you?"

Buffy sits for a moment, drinking water to stall. Now that she's  
here, bringing up what she wants to talk about is a lot harder than  
she thought it was going to be. Come on, don't chicken out. I gotta  
know!

"Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, honey, anything," Hank leans forward. "What is it?"

"Ummm… it's about you and mom… and the divorce…"

"Ok, Buffy," Hank leans back in his chair. His eyes grow a little  
distant. "What do you want to know?" He sweeps his eyes over  
her. "What did your mom say about me?"

"No, it's not like that… well, not really…" Buffy plunges in. "Ok,  
here's the thing. I was talking with mom, and she admitted to me that  
she… well, she was with someone in Boston… I mean, intimately…"

"What?" Hank comes forward. "What're you talking about?"

"You didn't know?" Buffy sounds and feels confused.

"Nooo…" Hank draws it out, sounding surprised and puzzled.

"Mom said you did. She said, you found out about it, and came to  
Boston. She said you threatened her … that you would go to court, and  
like prove it and take us away from her…. She said it had something  
to do with business or something…" Buffy cocks her head. "You didn't  
know about it…?"

"No… I didn't…" Hank sounds puzzled and a little hurt. "I guess I had  
it coming though… considering how I … but… no, I didn't know …" God,  
how much has Joyce told her? Damn her!

Buffy sits back, trying to figure this out. He didn't know? But she  
said he knew… why would she lie… especially about this? I mean, it  
doesn't make her look good…

"I don't get it. Why would she lie about this?"

"Honey…" Hank lowers his head for a moment, as if thinking. "Look,  
sweetie. I'll admit. I did go to Boston. I had business there. And,  
frankly, I wanted to talk to her. Try to get her to change her mind  
about the divorce…" Hank stands up, and comes over to Buffy, sitting  
next to her. "Look, honey. I know I've screwed up in the past… and I  
guess I made my bed, and gotta lie in it now. That doesn't mean I  
want to get a divorce, though. It doesn't mean I've stopped caring  
about your mom. I just…" Hank puts a hand on her leg. "I didn't want  
to lose her, or you guys. I… I went there to beg her to take me back,  
that's the truth, hon. I did some bad things… going outside our  
marriage, cheating on her…" He looks at her with some softness. "A  
guy… well, it's not like with a woman. He has some needs… and you're  
mom… well, she hasn't wanted to be with me for awhile… so I strayed…  
and…" He hangs his head. "I'm so ashamed of it, Buffy. I really am. I  
hurt your mom. And you kids, too. Can you forgive me?"

"Dad, don't. don't beat yourself up. I know you wouldn't hurt us…"  
Buffy puts her hand on his. "I love you, daddy."

"Thanks, pumpkin," Hank grins boyishly. "I love you too… thing is,  
Buffy, when I got those divorce papers, it really hit me. This was  
real, it was happening. And I didn't want it to happen. I didn't want  
to lose you or your sister or your mom… so, I went east to Boston,  
and well, I begged her to see me, to talk to me. But her mind was  
set, and I guess I can see I caused her to feel that way…"

"She was just upset, dad. I mean… she doesn't hate you…"

"Really? I don't know sometimes. But that helps. To know that…" Hank  
looks away. "I was about to give up, come home and just accept this  
was going to happen… when out of the blue, she calls me. She wants to  
talk. Well, I met with her, and she says she wants to try again. I  
was so happy, I can't tell you. I really thought she had forgiven  
me… so we got back together, and came home. And for awhile it worked…  
but… well, you know the rest…" He smiles a sad smile. "I guess it  
just wasn't meant to work out…" He looks at her. "You believe me,  
right?"

"Yes, of course, dad…"

But Buffy is more confused than ever. They're stories kind of seem  
like the same story, but totally different, too. She doesn't know who  
to believe now. She wants to believe her dad… he's her dad, after  
all. But what he's saying is so different from what her mom told her.

God, I just don't know… I just don't KNOW!

"I really miss you guys. All of you guys, and especially you,  
pumpkin…" He begins to massage her thigh with his hand. "Do you miss  
me? Even a little?"

"Of course I miss you," Buffy says, her feelings all tied up in a  
knot inside her. "I miss you loads… I love you, daddy…" her heart  
starts to beat faster.

"Can I have a hug? Please?"

"OF course, Dad. Do you even have to ask?"

She throws her arms around him, hugging him tight. She feels his arms  
encircle her, and she sighs softly. Laying her head on his chest, she  
suddenly feels everything is ok, again. That her daddy will protect  
her, keep things nice and straight and simple for her.

"You're so beautiful, sweetheart, " Hank says softly, caressing her  
hair. "you're my sweet, beautiful, special daughter." His hand  
wanders down to her back. "I've missed having you around, honey."

"Really?" Buffy says, almost into his chest. "Cuz it seemed like,  
lately, you haven't had any time for me at all…" Buffy pouts a little.

"I know. It's work, honey. It's been crazy, you know? But I promise.  
I'll make more time for you… for us. Just us, ok?" His hand wanders  
lower, caressing the small of her back.

" 'K, I'd like that…" Buffy nuzzles his neck. " You really think I'm  
beautiful, daddy?"

"Of course, baby. You've grown into a sweet, loving and very sexy  
young woman. Any man would be proud to have you as a daughter…"

"Really?" She leans back, looking into his face. His eyes. "Do you  
love me, daddy?"

"Of course, honey. I love you sooo much," Hank smiles softly at  
her. "How could I ever think of not loving you?"

Buffy seem to melt, her emotions and hormones and everything going  
into overdrive.

"Show me, daddy?"

Hank pulls her close, kissing her deeply.

Buffy sighs, melting against him. Her mouth opens, accepting his  
demanding tongue. Their tongues play together, back and forth  
between their mouths, each teasing and wrestling for control. Buffy  
runs her hands through his hair.

Hank slips a hand under her blouse, bringing it up and gently cupping  
her breast.

Buffy sighs into his mouth, pressing her lace covered breast into his  
hand. She moves up and over, straddling his lap. She begins to rub  
against him.

"I love you so much," Buffy murmurs into his mouth, their kiss  
deepening and become more passionate. "Please love me…"

Hank breaks the kiss, and he gently pushes her back a little. Buffy  
grabs the ends of her pull over blouse, and pulls it over her head,  
tossing it away. She thrusts her breasts at him in invitation.

Hank reaches around, and unhooks her bra. He helps her remove it, and  
then, sighing, lowers his mouth to her nipple.

She whimpers softly as she feels her nipple harden in his warm, wet  
mouth. She tangles her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer,  
encouraging him on.

"More, daddy, please! Harder… oh yes.. bite it … yessss" Buffy sighs,  
throwing her head back.

Hank slips his hands under her ass, and supporting her, stands up.

Buffy wraps her legs around him, pressing close to him, not wanting  
him to let go of her breast. She presses her mound against him,  
rubbing against his growing interest.

"Please, daddy, love me nice," Buffy says, leaning in against him.

Hank carries her out of the living room.

To be continued.


	24. Chapter 24

A Change of Seasons, Chapter 22- R

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

warning: same as before. incest, abuse, implied sexual violence,  
jerry springer, and joyce and faith making out like bunnies

Saturday, Night.

"Did you _see_ that dress?"

Cordelia has an expression on her face that portrays an outrage at the effrontery of the fashioned challenged with the world weariness of one who has seen too much fashion horror to recover.

"I know what you mean! God, what was she thinking? With _her_ figure? My god, it was a travesty…" Harmony Kendall shakes her head in disbelief.

"And stripes! With dots…"Cordelia has a shudder moment. "Who would mix stripes with dots?"

"It's obvious the girl has absolutely no taste!" Harmony exits Cordelia's car, waiting for Cordelia. "I so bet she believes that crème brulée tastes the same as … mousse!" Harmony laughs at her own joke.

"Good one, Harm!"

Cordelia exits her Mazda MX-5 Miata, walking towards the front door. She casually waves at Harmony to follow.

"Thing is, didn't she even know she looked like a walking…?"

"Rorschach test!" Harmony finishes for her.

Cordelia throws her a look.

"I was going to say, optical illusion… anyway, something just _had _ to be said!"

"Of course," Harmony nods in agreement, "There's no way that violation of fashion taste could be tolerated." She gets an almost carnivorous look on her face. "And the way you totally destroyed her? Masterful!"

"Harmony, Harmony, Harmony," Cordelia pauses to slip her car keys in her purse. Finished,, she looks up at her friend. "I use my powers to educate and correct those who are by circumstances fashion challenged. My purpose is for their own good. Can I help it they take it so personally?" She turns the knob on the front door, and enters her father's house. Harmony follows.

"They're so ungrateful," Harmony sympathizes, closing the door behind her. "You're the Mother Teresa of fashion sense, Cor. It's just too bad they're too narrow and selfish to see your sacrifice!"

"I know, I know," Cordelia shakes her head, resignedly. "They simply can't conceive the heavy burden of responsibility one carries when one is head cheerleader and the most popular person at Sunnydale high."

"They're so blind, Cor! They can't see how unselfish you are!" Harmony declares. "They simply don't appreciate you as I do." Her tone softens, and there's an almost hungry look in her eyes.

"You know what, Harm? You were right. Going shopping really did make me feel better. Thanks," Cordelia flings her arm around Harmony's shoulder, giving her a friendly hug. Harmony lights up like a Christmas tree.

"Miss Cordelia. Welcome home! Ah, Miss Harmony, good to see you again."

Cordelia and Harmony look up to see Charles, the Chase's butler, fast approaching. Cordelia quickly drops her arm.

"Good afternoon, Charles," Cordelia acknowledges him. "Harm and I were just going up to my room…"

"Actually, Miss Cordelia, Mr. Chase wishes to see you in his study," Charles informs her.

"Really?" Cordelia frowns a little. "did he say what for? Me and Harm were just going to study…"

Harmony let's slip a nervous giggle. Cordelia gives her a withering look.

"… and you know how my dad feels about my grades…" Cordelia continues.

"Ah, yes. Well, he did say it was important, and that he wanted to see you immediately when you arrived home…" Charles is immovable.

"I see…" Cordelia's frown deepens. She turns to Harmony. "Why don't you go up and wait for me? Make yourself comfy… you know where everything is. I'll be up in a jiff and a half." She smiles at Harmony.

"Sure, Cor," Harmony smiles back, but seems a little puzzled. "But didn't you want …"

"Just go on, Harm. I won't be long. Promise," Cordelia's tone gets a little firmer, more commanding.

"Ok," Harmony answers compliantly. She senses the change in Cordelia's mood, and doesn't want to anger her. "I'll get everything ready for studying, 'k?"

"Thanks, Harm," Cordelia turns and moves to Charles, who's been waiting to the side. "Let's go." Her tone has taken on a flat quality.

They walk silently as they make their way down the hallway to Avery Chase's study. As they reach the door, Charles makes to continue on, but Cordelia stops him by placing a hand on his arm.

"Did dad mention what he wanted?" Her tone betrays her nervousness. A summons like this usually wasn't for good things.

"No, miss. Only that he wanted to see you, and that it was important." Charles' expression is perfectly neutral, as befits a butler, but his eyes express an empathy. "Is there anything else, Miss?"

_I don't suppose you'd go in there for me?_ She thinks, looking at him. _No, of course not!_

"No thank you, Charles," Cordelia turns, and knocks on her father's study door.

"Come in!"

Cordelia sighs, and turns the knob, letting herself into Avery's study.

Even at 45, Avery Chase cuts a fine figure of the aristocratic man: Tall, naturally lean and athletic, his face serene but his eyes dark and slightly restless, he stands in front of his large oak desk, leaning on the edge. He's wearing a silk Armani suit, dark and conservatively cut. His arms are crossed over his chest.

Cordelia knows from the instant she walks in, that she's in trouble. _He's standing, not sitting. That's never a good sign._ She can feel the disapproval rolling off her father like waves, and she's quite familiar with the feeling. _Oh, god, what've I done now?_ Still, she decides the best defense is offense, and decides to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.

"Hi, Dad," She greets him breezily, smiling winningly. She walks over to him at the desk, "You look handsome as always." Standing next to him, she touches the sleeve of his suit. "I just love you in that suit. It makes you looks so powerful!"

"You're late," Avery replies tersely. He looks at his watch. "You were supposed to be home an hour ago…"

"Yes, sir, I'm sorry about that," Cordelia explains. "Harm and I were shopping. And I came up with some routines for cheerleading, and we got to talking about them, seeing if we could get them work. I mean, some of those girls? I won't say they're 'tards, but they're really slow learners."

"Yes, Shopping…I certainly can't fault your dedication to fashion. Am I going to have to take out a second mortgage on the house to finance this little spending spree? I didn't think it possible, but I think you spend it faster than I make it…" He pushes off his desk, and circles around to sit behind it. He looks up, noting Cordelia still standing. "Are you going to sit down?" He waves at one of chairs in front of the desk.

Cordelia quickly sits, placing her hands primly in her lap. _Damn, he's in serious mode. This can't be good at all._ She really hates sitting in these chairs; they're set lower than Avery's, allowing him to look down on the occupant. She always feels like a ten year old in trouble sitting here.

"As I was saying," Avery continues, picking up some papers on his desk, "I certainly can't fault your dedication to retail..." He glances down at the papers in his hands, and sighs, "However, I'm not at all impressed by what I see of your grades…". His expression becomes grimmer. "Is there some explanation for the paucity of A's? And your calculus grade…" His lips tighten, and Cordelia feels the butterflies starting up in her tummy,"… well, you're teacher sent along a note. She feels you could be doing much better, but you're not applying yourself. You seem to be distracted." He looks at her with his penetrating gaze, as if expecting an answer.

That old hag! Maybe if she were more interesting than peeling paint, I might pay attention more…

"I'm really trying, daddy," Cordelia can't quite keep the whine out of her voice. "But calculus is very hard…"

"I'm well aware of that, Cordelia," Avery nods. "Still, according to your teacher, you could apply yourself more."

"I'm trying the best I can, daddy," Cordelia whimpers, her lip trembling. "I really am!"

"Are you? Yes, I suppose you are. Though, you were doing so much better when you were still being tutored by… what was her name again?"

"Willow… Willow Rosenberg…"

"Yes. Willow Rosenberg. When she was here, you were doing a lot better…" He sets down the papers in disgust. "Why did she leave again?"

"Uh… uh…" Cordelia stalls. _Shit, I so don't need this now!_ "She quit. She got tired of trying to teach me I guess…I dunno." Cordelia shrugs.

"That's too bad… because obviously she had an effect on you… you're grades shot up. You did learn things from her, right?"

"YES! She's… she's very smart. She taught me a lot…" _A lot I don't want you to know!_

"Too bad it didn't stick," Avery shakes his head. "Maybe I call her up… see if she's available …"

"NO!" Cordelia almost shouts. "I mean, we … she and I … uh… she's really busy these days… tutoring other students and stuff…"

"Is that so?" Avery looks at her intently, causing Cordelia to feel he's seeing through her clothes. "Busy." He mulls that over a little. "Well, perhaps if I sweetened the deal, offered more money, she could find the time…"

"No, daddy, please. I.. can do this myself. I need to do it myself, ok?"

He looks doubtful.

"Please, daddy?" Cordelia begs. "I'll do better, I promise."

"You'd better, young lady. You're a Chase. We have an image to uphold!"

"I know, daddy," Cordelia looks down. "I've let you down."

"I won't say I'm not disappointed," Avery gets up from his desk, and crosses around it, sitting on the edge and looking down on his daughter. "But I know you try, honey. You try hard…" he chucks her under the chin, raising her face. "You just have to try harder, that's all."

"God, what do you want me to do? Explode my brains?!" Cordelia stands up, turning away. "What's the big about grades, anyway? Don't mean anything, anyway!"

"Who told you that?" Cornell is also up. He comes around the desk. "Without the grades, you can't graduate top of your class, and if you don't graduate top of your class…"

"… then you don't get into the best schools because these days with all the crap going on, it's harder for people like us to get into the top colleges…" Cordelia almost sounds like she's reading it from a script. "Yes, yes, yes, I've heard it all a thousand times, dad!"

"Well, it'd be good if you remembered it, Cordelia, because it's true! You can't expect to float your way into Harvard or Princeton or even , God help us, Brown. You're not going to get anywhere on cruise control, miss." He walks over to her, placing himself in front of her. "Look around you, what do you see? Do you think this came out of nowhere? It was free?"

"No," Cordelia says sullenly

"You're damned right it didn't. I've worked hard to make our life as nice as it is. No free rides in my family. My dad was rich, but he was determined to teach his sons the value of a dollar, and our inheritance was very small, believe me. It was my efforts to get the best education, to work hard to succeed, to be the better than the rest that got us where we are. The fact we live the way we do is no accident, Cordelia. My father's sons knew the meaning of work, of getting ahead, and we did so. All of us!"

"That's it, isn't it? You wish I were a boy. A son, a little you, someone you can mold and shape into another you! You wish you never had a daughter, don't you!"

"That must be the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say!"

"Well, maybe I _am_ stupid. Did you ever consider that, daddy dear? Maybe your daughter's a ditz!" She taps her head, repeatedly. "Maybe it's all empty space up here. Maybe I'm just DUMB!"

"Ok, I was wrong. _That_ was the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"Well, there you go then!"

"You're not stupid, Cordelia. Lazy, probably. Spoiled, definitely. But stupid? Never!"

"Oh, thank you!" Cordelia replies, sarcastically. "I feel so much better now! I'm lazy, and spoiled, and stupid!"

"My God! I never said that!" Avery throws up his hands, "You're being so emotional! Why can't you be more logical…"

"Like a son! Right? Because, a son would never be emotional and stupid and lazy and spoiled. Oh no, not Avery Chase's son! He'd be perfect. Not a disappointment like me!"

"Cordelia, you're being irrational!"

"Must be all those girl hormones. You know how we are, women. We're never rational, not like a son! Not like the son you wish I were!"

"GOD! Shut UP!"

Avery comes over, and grabs her by the shoulders. Cordelia struggles to get away, but he holds her tightly. Even so, she tries to wriggle away.

"Hold still!"

Cordelia doesn't

"I said, Hold STILL!"

Cordelia does, but she looks at him, frowning and defiant.

"Better. Are you done now?"

She just stares at him.

"Now, listen to me, young lady. Yes, there are times you disappoint me. But you're never a disappointment to me! There are many, many times I'm very proud of you, Cordelia. I love you very much!"

"No you don't," Cordelia sulks, breaking away and turning her back on him, "you don't love me at all. You wish I were the son you don't have! If I were, then maybe you'd love me!"

"That's not true at all, sugarpop" Avery uses his pet name for her, moderating his tone. "I love you very much, honey." He approaches her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I know I'm hard on you, sometimes. But I have to be, don't you see?"

"No," Cordelia pouts.

"Someday, sugarpop, this is all going to be yours. The house, the money, the businesses. All of it. And I need to know that when that time comes, you'll be ready for it. Life is hard and cruel, sometimes, and business even more so. If you're going to succeed me, I need to know you'll be able to handle it. You're my only child, and I need to know that when you take over, when I'm gone, you're going to be ok. That's why I push you. So you'll be tough," He gently strokes his finger along her neck. "I don't want anything bad happening to my sugarpop."

Almost imperceptibly, Cordelia arches her neck to give his fingers better access. Also, she subtly moves closer to him, pressing herself against him.

"Oh, daddy," Cordelia murmurs, "I really do try. I want you to be proud of me. I want to make you happy…"

"I put a lot of pressure on you, honey, I know…" Avery's hand slips over to her shoulder, gently rubbing and squeezing it. "Maybe we should start fresh. I know you can do it, if you have the right support system. I'll try to get Ms. Rosenberg back. I'm sure with the right incentive, she'll find time to tutor you again…"

Cordelia freezes. _Oh, no! No, no, and no on that one!_

"No!"

"No?" Avery's voice takes a slightly discordant note.

"I mean… well, you see… she and I… oh god, daddy. We had a fight, ok? She was angry at me because…" Cordelia stalls, thinking quickly "… because she's like you. She thinks I'm spoiled and lazy, and thinks I was trying to take advantage of her, to get better grades. I mean, like writing my papers and doing my homework and stuff like that…"

"Well, did you?" Avery asks, lips pursed.

"No!" Cordelia sounds and feels offended. "I worked hard to get those grades… and well, I really resented her saying stuff like that!"

"I'm glad to hear it, Cordelia," Avery says, "If you cheat, use others to do your work, you only cheat yourself…"

"Thank you, daddy," Cordelia turns, pressing against him. "… for believing in me."

"Well, of course I do, Cordelia," He puts his arm around her shoulder, giving her a hug. "I only want the best for you, sugarpop." He smiles at her.

"I know… and I only want to please you, daddy," Cordelia says, arching into him and revealing a bit more cleavage. "You know I want to make you happy, any way I can…"

"You do make me happy, sugarpop," Avery says, feeling a little intoxicated by her scent. "But, do you want to make me very happy?"

"Of course I do…" She raises her hand, stroking her finger along his lapel. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to make it up with Ms. Rosenberg, and start tutoring with her again," Avery says, breaking away from her. "That would make me very happy…"

"Oh, daddy!" Cordelia sounds perturbed. "Why do we have to talk about _her_? Were you listening? She called me a…"

"I heard what you said, Cordelia," Avery turns to her. He's not smiling now. "And I have to ask you. How stupid do you think I am, anyway?"

"Dad?" Cordelia feels a cold ball of fear in her tummy. "I don't understand…"

"You understand perfectly well, Cordelia. Did you really believe I'd buy that story you told me?" He walks over to her, gripping her tightly. "Do you really think I don't know what was going on upstairs all those times you two were 'studying?' " He smiles, but it's not a warm smile at all.

"I don't know what you mean…" The ball of fear grows a lot larger in Cordelia. She pales just a little.

"You should learn to be more discreet, sugarpop… and make sure you door is closed all the time…" His cold, dark eyes glitter.

Cordelia is suddenly dizzy. She feels as if her whole world is collapsing around her, and she doesn't have a clue how to fix it.

"Dad… I…I…"

"All your feminine charms won't help you this time, sugarpop…" Avery crosses to the study door, closing it tightly. He turns to her, his expression grim and unyielding. "Sit down. I think we'll need to have a serious talk…"

Cordelia crosses the study on shaky knees. Her heart is thumping hard in her chest, and her throat is dry.

She's very, very scared. She knows her father is very, very upset.

And she knows she's going to pay dearly for it.

"Where is she?"

Harmony Kendall lies on Cordelia's bed, barely covered by a borrowed blue silk wrapper. She flops over on her belly, staring out the window. Getting bored with it, she reaches over, and turns on the radio. Playing with the dial, she finally finds something she wants to listen to.

"God, I've been here, for like forever!" Harmony complains to herself, even though it's only been an hour or so. "Is she _ever_ going to come upstairs? Or did she forget all about me? Like that would be new," Harmony lays back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

After counting the ceiling tiles for a few minutes, she gets bored and flips back over on her tummy.

"Why does she always do this to me?" Harmony moans, kicking her legs on the bed. "It's always. 'Wait for me, Harm'. 'I'll be there in awhile, Harm.' 'I've got important stuff to do, Harm'. Well, geeze, aren't I important, too? Don't I count at all?" She pounds her small fist on the bed. "God, she treats me like dirt, and I keep coming back for more. I'm sooo stupid!" She pushes off the bed, sitting on her knees. "Well, I should teach her a lesson. She can't keep treating me this way. I should go. I should just get dressed and leave…"

"Harmony!"

Harmony almost jumps out of her skin as the sharp voice of her mistress snaps at her. She whirls around, getting entangled in the loose garment, and tries to get up. She trips over herself, and falls on her face.

"Cordelia! Where've you been?" Harmony untangles herself, standing up. She pulls the wrapper around her, cinching the belt. "I bought this. Like it?" She looks at her hopefully.

Cordelia is standing in the doorway, dressed in a robe she borrowed from her father's room. She leans heavily on the doorjamb.

"You're right, Harmony. You should get dressed and go. I … we can't study today…"

Harmony senses something amiss. _First of all, Cor should be reaming me out for being impatient. Oh, and she almost never breaks a 'study' date. Ever. What's going on? What happened?_

Cordelia moves into the room, walking a little shakily towards the bed. She sits down, and winces.

"Cor? What's wrong? What happened?" She walks over, sitting next to her. "Why're you dressed like that? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, ok?" Cordelia snaps at her impatiently. "Since when do I have to explain myself to you, anyway?" She sees Harmony's wounded expression, and softens her tone. "I'm sorry, I'm just feeling a little out of sorts, … and dad was in a bad mood. It'd be best if you went home now, baby. We'll do this another time, ok?" She smiles weakly at the blonde girl.

Cordelia leans over to give Harmony a kiss on the cheek, and the robe, already loose on her, slips a little. The welt on her shoulder is plainly visible.

"What's that, Cor?" Harmony reaches out to touch her shoulder. She feels her stomach start to churn.

"What?" Cordelia sees the slip, and moves to cover it. "Nothing, it's nothing. You should go now."

"That's not nothing," Harmony says, pulling the robe back. She sees the welt again. "How did this happen?" Suspicious, she pulls harder on the robe, to get a better look, and suddenly Cordelia's back is revealed. "OH my GOD! Cordelia! What happened to you?" Harmony stares at her back in shock. Then her anger begins to rise._ What happened? Oh, I know what happened. _"Your dad? He did this, didn't he?"

Cordelia doesn't speak, she just shakes her head dismissively.

"Nothing! Nothing happened…" Cordelia suddenly sounds lost and defeated. "What's with the 20 questions, anyway? Just go, please, Harmony. Just go!"

"I'm so not going!" Harmony declares. "Not until you tell me what happened to you!" She reaches out, lightly touching Cordelia's back.

Cordelia shudders in pain, and pulls quickly away.

"God, can't you do the simplest thing, Harmony Kendall? Were you born stupid, or was it an acquired thing? Why do you always gotta snoop on me? God, just get out! Do I have to throw you out? Get OUT!"

"Ok, OK, I'm going!" Harmony gets up, wounded. "Gosh, Cordelia, why do you always have to be so mean to me!? I'm just worried about you! You always treat me like a dog!"

She can't help herself. As she rushes around the room to collect her clothes, she starts to cry.

"I'm only your best friend you know. I wasn't trying to snoop. I just wanted to know if you were ok! God, you're such a cruel…"

"Bitch? I'm a cruel bitch? Is that what you were gonna say?"

"No.. I mean… oh I don't know what I mean!"

Cordelia is suddenly on her feet, energized by anger. She goes over and grabs Harmony, tearing the clothes out of her hands and throwing them away.

"Why'd you do that?" Harmony whines. "How am I supposed to leave without my clothes?"

"So, you think I'm a cruel bitch, do you?" Cordelia sneers at her. She shoves Harmony, driving her back \to the bed. She pushes her hard, and Harmony falls back on the bed. "What do you want from me, Harmony? You want me to fuck your brains out? Is that what you want?" She shucks off the borrowed robe, jumps on Harmony, straddling her stomach and pinning her to the bed. She starts to rub her mound against Harmony's stomach. "C'mon, Harmony! This is what you want, isn't it? Go ahead, Harmony. Fuck me! You wanna fuck me, don't you!" She grinds herself into Harmony's belly.

"What's wrong with you! Why're you doing this to me? I'm just trying to help!" Harmony yells at her. She tries to buck Cordelia off, but she only manages to free her arms. Upset, forgetting for a moment what she saw, she reaches up, and starts hitting Cordelia on the shoulders and back. "Let me alone! Let me GO!"

Cordelia screams in pain, and hunching into a ball, she rolls off Harmony. As she rocks and moans in pain, Harmony quickly scrambles off the bed, to get away from her.

"God, Cordelia! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Harmony tries to approach her, but Cordelia kicks and punches out at her, driving her back. Harmony retreats out of reach.

"Just go away!" Cordelia moans, sobbing. "Just go away and leave me ALONE!"

"No, I won't!" Harmony declares in a rare act of pure defiance. "I won't just leave you alone. Not like this!"

"Harmony, please?" Cordelia begs. "I'll be ok. I just… I need you to go now. Please?"

"I can't, don't you see?" Harmony says softly, "I can't leave you. Not with you like this."

Cordelia looks up at her, her expression a mixture of gratitude, worry and hurt. The look is like twin daggers in Harmony's soft heart. She comes over to Cordelia, gently stroking her arm.

"Baby, Cor, please let me help you?"

"Lock the door, Harm. Please? If you're going to stay?"

Harmony crosses to the door, shutting it and locking it. She turns back to Cordelia.

"Ok, it's locked."

Cordelia stares at her, and the tears start to flood out of her eyes. She sobs deeply, gut wrenching sobs torn from her soul.

"Oh, Cor, baby, don't. Don't cry…" Harmony starts to cry too, seeing Cordelia so torn up. "Don't, baby…" She comes over, and insinuates herself on the bed, holding Cordelia as closely and as gently as possible. "It's ok, it'll be ok…"

"No… no, it won't…" Cordelia sobs, clinging to her best friend. "It'll never be ok. He hurt me. He hurt me so bad. He beat me, Harm. With a steel ruler… til I felt I was on fire, my body hurt so much! But I didn't cry, I was strong, Harm. I didn't let him see me cry…" She lays her head on Harmony's shoulder, sobbing miserably.

This isn't the first time Harmony has held Cordelia like this. Not the first time she's comforted her when she was broken by Avery. She knows she can't do anything to him. Cordelia forbids it. She wants to gut the bastard, make him pay for hurting her Cor. Then turn him over to the police, like he deserve. She tried, the first few times, but Cordelia almost went crazy. She babbled and yelled, saying Harmony would ruin everything if she did that. Make everything worse. So she held her peace, though she hates the way she feels. Like a coward.

_If I ever get the chance, I'm gonna cut that bastard's balls off, and feed it to his ugly face, _Harmony thinks. _No one hurts my sweet Cor like this. Not and live…_

But she'll never tell Cordelia how much she hates Avery Chase. She'll never tell how much she wants to make him suffer for all the suffering he's given her and Cordelia. She knows, for some strange twisted reason, Cordelia adores him, and she'd never, ever do anything to hurt Cordelia. Not even kill her abuser.

"It's ok, Cor, baby," Harmony gathers her in her arms, holding the suffering girl close. "I'm here now. I won't let him hurt you now…"

"He…he didn't mean to," Cordelia says, her tone beyond hurt, "He… he's just so stressed…he… he's not evil, Harmony. I know you think he is, but he's not… " She sobs quietly. "It just hurt so much…"

"I know, I know…"

She knows it's going to be a long night. She'll have to get up, and get the stuff to tend to Cordelia's wounds. Then she'll listen as Cordelia sobs out her broken heart. Then she'll just hold her all night, keeping the bad things away.

But that's what you do, isn't it?

When you really love someone?

2

Sunday, Morning.

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to the Jerry Springer show…"

Loud applause and hoots from the audience. "_Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" _

"On tonight's show, we have a family that even surprises me in its dysfunction."

More hoots and hollers. "_Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" _

"Let's get right to it. Let me introduce my first guest, Buffy Summers!"

More wild applause, followed by "Oooo's" and catcalls as a very pregnant Buffy walks , or more accurately, waddles onto stage. She's obviously 8 ½ months along, and is holding her belly as she makes her way to the guest chair. She stands for a moment, next to Jerry, trying to determine if she'll actually fit in the chair. Then, with a relieved sigh, she plops down next to him. She smiles, and waves at the audience, which sets off another chorus of catcalls.

"Ok, ok, that's enough," Jerry waves his hands to calm the audience down. He turns to Buffy. "Normally, I give some background into the family that appears onstage. But yours is so…unique… that I wanted the audience to hear it in your own words."

"_Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" "Buffy! Buffy! Buffy!" _

"Unique? Does that mean different?" Buffy asks, looking confused.

"Well, yes."

"Oh, gosh, Jerry, not so sure that our family is all that different from the other families back in the trailer park…"

The audience acts up. Jerry gets up and waves them down. "Please, we need some quiet if we're going to continue…"

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, not at all, Buffy. Please continue."

"Well, Jerry, as I was saying, I don't think our family's all that different. We have a mom, and a dad… though he's not around a lot these days, and there's my little sis, Dawn, and we live in a doublewide. Not one of those trashy trailers!"

More catcalls.

"You'd need it Blondie, with that load you're carrying!" Someone shouts out.

General laughter from the audience. Jerry makes an annoyed face, and Buffy blushes.

"Please, go on Ms. Summers."

"Well, I guess there is a difference, kinda… we recently took in a boarder…"

"Really? In a trailer? Where does she sleep?"

"Well, with my mom, of course! She's my mom's lesbian lover!"

A large OOOOOO from the audience, followed by hoots.

"You're mom's lesbian lover? Really? How does your dad feel about that?"

"Well, gosh, Jerry, he doesn't know about it, of course!"

Laughter from the audience.

"Well, I think he'll know about it now…" Jerry grins at the audience.

"_Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!_ _Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"_

"Gee, I guess he will, won't he?" Buffy spaces a little.

"However, that isn't all. You mentioned something else about your mom's lesbian lover?"

"Er… yeah…" Buffy feels a little embarrassed.

"Go ahead, Buffy. We're all friends here…"

"Well… thing is, Faith… that's my mom's lesbian lover… well, she's like half my mom's age. Shoot, she's only a couple years older than me!"

The audience gasps, then back to the hollers and catcalls.

"Really. Wasn't there something else about this… Faith, was it? … you wanted to mention?"

"Well, gee, Jerry, it's not really about Faith so much, though it involves her…" Buffy trails off.

"Come on, Buffy. Don't be shy." Jerry turns to the audience. "We're all here for you, Buffy!"

More cheering from the audience.

"Well, it's really more about my sister, Dawn"

Ooooo's from the audience.

"You see, she's totally in love with my mom's lesbian lover, and wants her for herself!" Buffy beams.

Cheers, hoots and catcalls.

"Well, this is getting interesting!" Jerry adjusts a little in his chair, and Buffy can't help noticing that something else has gotten a little larger since she sat down. "Maybe it's time we meet the rest of the family!"

The Audience explodes, clapping and cheering and hollering. To this background, Jerry signals the rest of the Summers' family to come out.

First out are Faith and Joyce, walking with their arms around each other's waist, playing grab-ass. Faith is dressed in a leather micro mini, bustier and black leather jacket, left open. She's wearing black stockings, and ankle boots with 2" heels. Her hair is done up "big" style, looking more like a mane than hair.

Joyce, on the other hand, is tottering along on 4" heels, which go perfectly with the rest of her outfit. Skin tight hot pants, a red satin blouse tied just under her breasts, and fishnet stockings. Her hair is done up in a high beehive hairdo.

Both women are wearing enough makeup to keep Revlon in business for quite awhile. Their lipstick is just a taste smeared; it's obvious they've been making out backstage. Both give a wave to the audience with their free hands, which brings on a round of wolf whistles. Both smile seductively.

Behind them follows Dawn. She has a slightly surly, pouty look on her face, which goes perfectly with her outfit: the classic Lolita look. White blouse, plaid skirt, Maryjanes on her feet. Knee length stockings complete the look. However, her blouse is tight, and like her mom, tied under her breasts, revealing her belly ring. Her skirt is so short and tight, it barely covers her hips. Her red bra and panties are not all that hidden from view. She is sucking on a cherry lollipop.

Bringing up the rear, and watching Dawn's as he comes, is Hank. He's dressed in a loud Hawaiian shirt, slightly wrinkled slacks, and brown loafers. His hair is none too neat, and it looks he might've skipped shaving this morning. He doesn't look all that happy to be here.

"This is a big waste of time," Hank confirms his feelings as he sits down next to his daughter. "Why're we here again?"

"Buffy thinks we can like, be a family again. Like, I'm sure," Dawn says, mumbling around her lollipop. "You're such a dope, if you think that's gonna happen, walrus butt."

"Dawn, don't talk to your sister like that… Oooo" Joyce giggles as Faith gives her breast a squeeze.

"Oh, right, let's hear your side of it, old, wrinkled and skanky," Dawn says, muttering something to herself.

"Shut up, squirt. Don't you talk to mom like that!"

"Why shouldn't she, Buffy?" Hank puts in, his hand creeping over to Dawn's thigh. She slaps it away. "I mean, you're mom's nothing but a big old slutty lesbo whore. She's a pervert!"

"Look who's talking, Porky," Faith says, glaring at him. "Go around boinking your own daughter, getting her pregnant and all. God, just like a man. Can't ever keep it in his pants!"

"Well, at least I got something to keep in my pants!" Hank shoots back. "I mean, I'm at least doing what the Bible says… man cleaves to woman… It's supposed to be Adam and Eve, not Madam and Eve!"

There are Wooooo's from the audience.

"Is that right, Hankie?" Joyce sneers, reaching around and giving Faith's ass a pat. "I wouldn't be bragging with the eeny weeny teenie tiny little thing you call a dick, prick!"

"Hey, hey!" Jerry Springer interjects. "You're here today to try to find a way to all get along!"

"_Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"_ The crowd chants.

"Oh pipe down, curly," Faith says, turning to Hank. "So, ya think you got a biggun, huh, Porky?" Faith pulls up her tight skirt to reveal a very large strap on, maybe 10" long and 2" wide. "Wanna compare bud?" She starts to stroke it obscenely. "I know how to keep my woman happy!"

Hoots and catcall, along with some cheers, come from the audience.

"Goodness!" Jerry acts shocked. "You mean you wore that … thing… here? Why?"

"Well, Jerry, I need to keep my woman happy, you know? She's always horny, and you never know when she's gonna need some real loving!" She sneers at Hank.

"Shut up, you rug muncher!" Hank yells, "I know how to keep my women happy." He pats Buffy's belly.

"Oh yeah… barefoot and pregnant, right Porky?"

Buffy suddenly realizes she forgot her shoes, making her… barefoot and pregnant! _ Oh my god, I'm a stereotype!_

"Don't you call my daddy Porky!" Buffy yells at her.

"Aw, baby, just ignore them!" Joyce says. She grabs Faith and starts to maul her a little. "C'mon, give Mama some sugar, sugar!"

Joyce and Faith start to make out right there on stage, to the obvious approval of the crowd.

"Hey, hey!" Jerry protests, "This is getting out of hand. Stop that!"

"Aw, don't listen to the choirboy, Joyce," Faith starts squeezing Joyce's breasts. "C'mere and sit on my lap. I got somethin' for ya!"

Joyce hurriedly gets off her chair, and facing Faith, sits on her lap.

"Oh, baby, you know what to do to me, oh yeah!" She says, starting to bounce on her lap.

"God, that's so disgusting…" Hank starts to rub Buffy's thigh. "And so … hot!"

" Not it's not, daddy!" Dawn protests, getting up. "It's sick, that's what it is!"

Faith and Joyce ignore them. Joyce pulls Faith to her breasts, burying her in them.

"God, look at them. They can't even control themselves!" Dawn sneers. "God, how can you suck on those old, flabby dried up cow bags when you could…" Dawn rips open her shirt, and thrusts out her chest. "… have these!" She shimmies her chest, causing her boobs to bounce a little.

"Dawnie, stop it!" Buffy protests, "You're making a fool out of yourself!"

Hank leans in, and starts kissing Buffy's neck.

"Ooohhh… Daddy!" Buffy sighs, arching her neck.

"Look who's talking, perv! Making out with daddy on national TV!"

"Dawn, stop embarrassing yourself at once!" Joyce says, still bouncing on Faith's lap and mashing Faith's head into her boobs. "I mean, why would Faith want a … child… when she can have a real woman!" She throws her head back, and moans. "OH baby, yeah. You know what to do… suck 'em good baby!"

"Shut UP you withered, dried up old PRUNE!"

Dawn, losing it, mad with jealousy, leaps at Joyce, knocking her off Faith's lap, and onto the floor. They start to struggle and wrestle.

"Cat fight! Cat Fight! Cat fight!" The crowd chants.

"Hey guys!" Jerry waves at the security guards posted on stage. They ignore him, fascinated by the fight. "C'mon, you guys, break it up!"

"You skanky old whore!" Dawns screams, tugging at Joyce's hair. "Why don't you pick on someone your own age… you know, like maybe down at the senior center!"

"Shut up, stick-figure Barbie! You're just jealous because Faith wants a woman, not some little baby ready for her blanky! God, you don't even have hips yet. How could _you_ please a woman?" Joyce tears at Dawn's bra. "I bet you're wearing a wonder bra. I didn't know they made them in training bra size, pimple tits!"

"That's it, that's it, honey!" Hank hoots, as he squeezes and mauls Buffy's boobs. "Show that old hag a thing or two!"

"Hey, shut up, Porky Pig!" Faith turns on hank, red faced. "God, you're disgusting. Mauling your own daughter on national TV. I should…"

"What, plastic dick? Have a tizzy? You think you scare me?" Hank laughs at her. "Get real, butch!"

"You son of a BITCH!" Faith leaps on him, starting to hit him around the head. "You shut you big fat porky pig mouth, here me? And stop pulling on her tits!"

The crowd goes wild, cheering them on. I mean, it's not every day you get two fights for the price of one!

Stop it! Dammit, all of you stop it!" Buffy yells. She tries to push herself out of her chair, but doesn't quite make it, falling back hard. "OooFFF!" She cries. " God, what's wrong with you! You're making fools of yourself on national TV! I said, STOP IT!"

But they go on fighting. No one is paying attention to her, and that really makes her mad!

"I SAID … OH… Oh no… OH NO!" Buffy screams, falling back in her chair and her legs splaying out.

"Buffy. Ms. Summers, what's wrong?" Jerry asks, in that false concerned voice of his.

"I… I think my water broke. Dammit, I'm gonna have my baby. Right here!"

The crowd cheers, whooping and hollering.

_"Go Buffy, Go Buffy, Go Buffy!" _

"You heard it hear, folks," Jerry turns to the camera. "A Jerry Springer first! Live birth… right here on stage. We'll be back after these commercials!"

"No… NOOOO!!! I can't have my baby now! Not here! OooooooHhhhhhhh!!!!"

Buffy eyes fly open, and she's covered in sweat. It takes a few moments to realize that she's in her bedroom, safe and sound… and not having a baby!

_Oh god! _

"YES… OH… OH… Oh GOD YES!" Someone screams from Joyce's bedroom.

_Aw, God!_ She mutters.

She lays there, feeling foggy and damp, trying to block out the sounds of lovemaking being broadcast from her mother's bedroom. She wraps her head in the pillow, holding it tight to her head with her hands. Still, it doesn't diminish the moans, groans and shouts very much at all.

"Oh, brother," Buffy sits up, letting the pillow drop back to the bed. "Aren't they ever going to give it a rest?" She gives up and gets out of bed, padding over and grabbing a sweater to throw over her shoulders. She proceeds to her window, where she sits quietly, looking out into the fading night.

After sitting in the window, allowing the night air to cool her face, things quiet down.

"Finally!" She mutters, shaking her head. "I thought they'd never stop. Geeze, it's not even dawn yet, and it seems like they've been doing it forever!"

It's very early Sunday morning; pre-dawn. Even before the sun has begun shed it's light on the horizon; yet, the sky is no longer an inky black, but a deep indigo blue. It's chilly, possibly the coldest part of the night. The air has a strange, almost electric smell to it.

She pulls the sweater she threw over her shoulders a bit tighter. A small shiver goes through her. The fading starlight casts a very dim light; yet even now the confusion is clear on her face.

_God, what a dream! Crazy, crazy dream…_ She feels a coldness in the pit of her stomach. _I can't believe it! My life is a Jerry Springer episode!_ She looks out her window, shuddering.

Sleep has been nearly impossible. Fitful, full of conflicting emotions and vague dreams, she's finally given it up and decided to wait here for morning. The cold on her skin echoes the chill she feels inside.

_Who's right? Who's telling me the truth? I want, god I really want to believe them both, but I can't. They're so different, how things happened, what happened, just doesn't match up. Is mom lying, and dad telling the truth? Or the other way around? Both stories can't be right… can they? No! But which one? _

_I wanna believe daddy. I really do. I know he loves me… he's shown how much he loves me, needs me. I really want to believe he wanted their marriage to work. I want that so much I can taste it. _

_But why would mom lie? It doesn't make sense. She loves Faith, I can see that. She wouldn't just dump her, not without some explanation. But that dad did those things, those awful things… _

_God, this is sooo hard! I love them both so much… and I gotta choose. But, if I choose mom, then what? What I did with dad is wrong… so wrong… and I can't take that it could be … ugly. It wasn't ugly. It was sweet and beautiful. He really loves me; loves all of us. I know it… I just know it. _

_Mom's always been there, though. Always when I needed her… even when I treated her so badly. God, I'm so damned sorry I treated her so badly… and I know she loves me too! She loves me, she shows me that every day in just what she does… _

_Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I figure this out? I'm so damned dumb, sometimes. Sometimes I wish I were smart like Dawn. She's probably got it all figured out, and I sitting here, more confused and lost than ever. I tease her a bunch, but man I gotta admit, I really like that she's so smart. I wish I could talk to her, tell her… but she'd freak, and tell mom… I hate this! I hate _feeling_ like this. Not knowing…_

Her tummy rumbles, and she looks down at it, smiling softly. _ Hey you! Did I wake you up? No, wait, I didn't wake you!_ She gives a look in the direction of her mother's bedroom. _They're kinda noisy, aren't they? Well, hi, kid. What's up? Beside your old dumb mom, huh? I bet you're kinda cold, too._ Buffy draws her sweater closer, buttoning it up._ There, better? Feeling cozy now? Hope you're not planning on making mommy sick again today. Really getting used to not hugging the toilet… _

Buffy settles back on the window ledge, _So, what do you think, huh? Who's doing the lying here?… not talking, huh? Maybe just as well… you're probably biased anyway. _

There's another loud groan from the direction of her mother's bedroom, and Buffy makes a face. "God, I so hoped they were done. Well, that's not gonna happen, is it?" She looks down at her tummy. "Can you believe those two?"

More moans, and a more incoherent words, and then more groans. Buffy makes yet another face.

"God, keep it down, why don't you?!" She yells out, but not too loud. Then she lowers her voice, " Can you believe your Grammy doing that kinda stuff? I sure can't" Buffy shakes her head. Another loud groan is heard. "I just hope you're quieter about it when you start having sex, you know?"

She smiles, and pats her tummy. _ So what're you gonna look like, anyway, huh? I'm kinda hopin' you get Dawnie's eyes. God, they're so blue… and hope you're tall, like my mom, you know? Not a shrimp like your mom…_ _I just know you're going to be beautiful, you know? A real heartbreaker…_

Buffy feels more than sees the light on her face, and turns to see the sun just breaking over the horizon, painting the fading indigo sky with a palette of gold and red and orange. She smiles softly, and feels a warmth suffuse her. She feels a weight lift off her chest, as if she can breathe again.

_You know, maybe I don't gotta figure this all out. Maybe I can just accept it as it is… and try to just get on with it. Maybe there's no real need to be on anyone's side… just love them both. What do you say, kiddo?_

She feels a sudden urge pressing on her bladder, and sighs. _God, talk about a mood killer. Ok, ok…_ she slips off the sill, and starts to walk across the room. _ I'm going, ok? Then maybe we can do something nice for once… like make breakfast for the fam? Not like I'm gonna sleep any more tonight…_

She suddenly stops, a confused look on her face. A wave of dizziness hits her, and she stops still, trying to balance. She takes a breath, and takes another step… and suddenly another, huge wave of dizziness hits her. She feels herself starting to fall.

Windmilling her arms, she tries to grab onto something, but only manages to hit a lamp on the desk, knocking it off and smashing it.

"Aw, crap, mom's gonna have a fit…"

That's the last thing she remembers as the floor rushes up to meet her face.

"What the…?"

Dawn sits up suddenly in her bed, looking around. She has a puzzled expression on her face, and is blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

_Ok, that was weird!_

Dawn's been dreaming. A very nice dream, to start out with. It was her and Xander, and they were at an isolated spot on the beach, watching the sun set. Xander had his arm around her shoulder, and they were head to head, just enjoying the view.

They snuggled a little closer together, and looked at each other, giving each other _that_ look. The look that says " Kiss me now, ok?". So they did, Dawn closing her eyes and accepting Xander's eager lips.

Things started to heat up, and she felt herself rolled onto her side. She giggled as she felt Xander start to let his hands wander over her. She snuggled closer, never opening her eyes or breaking the kiss, just accepting what was happening.

And it was nice, real nice. Except, suddenly, something was wrong. Well, different, anyway. The kiss was still nice, but the lips felt different. And Xander tasted different. And his hand, running up her side to squeeze her boob, felt wrong. Too soft…

She opened her eyes, and they went wide when she realized she wasn't kissing Xander anymore, but rather Faith. And Faith was wearing … well, actually, nothing at all… except for this thing on her hips… like a thong, with something attached… a boy thing… that looked all too real and way too big…

And that's when she woke up. Confused and suffused with a naughty warmth and feeling very strange.

_Ok, aren't things mixed up and weird enough around here without me making them even weirder in my dreams? What was that all about anyway? I like Faith, but not _ THAT _ way! Geeze…_

Dawn shudders, unable to shake the feeling of strangeness. Her throat feels parched. Swinging her legs off her bed, she's just making her way to get some water when

CRASH!!!!!

"What the…?"

Dawn bolts for the door. _That came from Buffy's room. What the heck is she up to now?_

She runs out into the hallway, and almost into Faith, who is emerging from her mom's bedroom, pulling a robe around herself. Her mom follows, looking flushed and confused.

She smells that smell she smelled the other day again, only stronger this time. It hits her what it is/was, and she almost gags.

_Oh, gross!_

"Did you hear that?" Her mom says, her voice a little breathless.

"Yeah, sounded like Buffy was throwing something," Dawn remarks, looking at the two of them with a slightly jaded eye. "like that's new."

"Yeah, well, it's quiet now," Faith replies, reaching Buffy's door. _A little too quiet…_

She opens the door, and looks in.

"Aw, geeze…"

Joyce and Dawn come up to her, and all three look in to see Buffy lying on the floor, unconscious.

"Buffy!" Joyce cries, her mom instincts kicking in full force. She pushes through the others and goes and kneels by her daughter. She touches her hand to Buffy's pulse point, and sighs, relieved. "Her pulse feels ok… strong." Still, she looks up at Faith, worried.

"Let's get her into her bed," Faith says, coming over and flanking Buffy on her other side.

Joyce and Dawn taking her shoulders, and Faith on her legs, lift the languid girl, gently turning her over and laying her on her bed. Joyce sits by her, feeling her forehead.

"She doesn't feel feverish, still…" Joyce sounds concerned. "She's been kind of sick lately…"

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Joyce," Faith says, coming up to her and laying a hand on her shoulder.

Dawn feels a little uncomfortable in their presence, what with them being barely dressed, and knowing what they were doing, and with her own weird dream and herself not exactly street ready.

"Yeah," Dawn cracks, "Knowing grace here, she probably slipped on something…"

"Dawn! That's enough!" Joyce says, a little over sternly. Maybe feeling a little guilty. She softens her tone. "Sorry. Maybe you should go back to bed, honey."

"No way," Dawn comes over, flanking Buffy on her other side. Her note of jocularity rings false, because she's been worried about her too. "Miss this opportunity to give her grief about being a spaz? You're kidding, right?"

Joyce picks up the worried note in Dawn's voice, and can't help smiling. "Well, don't ride her too hard… she's been sick."

Faith looks at the both of them, feeling more than a little guilty. She knows exactly what's wrong with Buffy. She wishes she could tell them, relieve their anxiety a little, but she promised she wouldn't. She can't help feeling a little resentful.

_Damn her! Why'd she do this to me, anyway? They have a right to know! God, who knows what's going through Joyce's mind right now? She shouldn't have to worry this way. _ She looks at Buffy, frowning. _Well, kiddo, you can't hide it forever. Sooner or later, the truth is gonna be pretty damned plain…_

Joyce sees her expression, and mistaking it for worry, squeezes her hand.

"Don't worry, Faith. She's going to be ok." She can't quite conceal her own anxiety, however.

Faith just does a slow burn.

"Hey…"

Buffy wakes up in her bed, to see three worried faces confront her.

"Hey…" She says weakly, her throat dry. "What's going on?"

"That's what we'd like to know, honey," Joyce says, "We found you passed out on the floor."

_Aw, crap, that wasn't a dream!_

"Uh…."

"I'm going for Buffy tripped over her big feet and fell over herself. Nice move, Buffy. You took out your desk lamp with," Dawn cracks.

"Dawn, please!"

"Yeah, Dawn, please!" Buffy says, but blushes. _Thanks, Dawnie!_ "But she's right. I tripped over something and Boom. I joined the dust bunnies on the floor…" She pushes up a little, and winces, still a little woozy. " Guess I had a case of the Dawns, or something…" She cracks back.

"Shut up, Buffy!"

"Are you sure?" Joyce's maternal instincts are on overdrive. "I mean, you've been feeling sick all week…"

"Aw, mom, for god's sake, it was nothing…" Buffy catches Faith's cool, appraising look and suddenly feels embarrassed. "I just was a klutz, ok…" She trails off, blushing.

"Leave it to Buffy to make a 3 act play out of being a dork…"

"Dawn, that's enough," Faith interjects. She gives Dawn a look.

"Hey! I was only agreeing with her…" Dawn withers under Faith's gaze. _Geeze, what did _I _ do? It's so unfair. She always gets babied!_

"Well, I think you're going to see the doctor on Monday," Joyce says, firmly. "This cold or flu or whatever is hanging on too long, and I want you to be checked over. Just to be sure."

"Mom, I'm fine!" Buffy protests. She starts to panic a little.

"No, you're not, young lady. We're going to the doctor Monday morning. No arguments!"

_Oh, god no! That'd be just great. He checks me, sees I'm pregnant, tells mom, and watch out for the flying poop as it hits the fan! I gotta get out of this._

"Mom, I can't. I mean, I got stuff to do Monday! I can't go sit around in some waiting room waiting for the doctor to feel me up…!"

"No arguments, you're going…" Then Joyce sighs, and slumps. "Darn it! I've got an important appointment Monday morning. Big new client, could mean a lot to the gallery." She shrugs. "Oh well, I'll just have to try to…"

"Joyce, wait. Why don't you let me take Buffy to the doctor?" Faith pipes up.

Buffy looks at Faith, gratefully.

"Thank you, Faith. But you've got classes…"

"Actually, no. Not Monday morning, anyway. And hey… part of the family now, right? That's what we do… help each other out?" She gives Joyce a little shrug and a flirty little smile.

"Really, Faith?" Joyce is relieved. This client could really be good for the business. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Heck, no!" Faith grins. "I mean, give me and Buffy a chance to bond, right, Buff? We can do all the gossipy talking stuff, ya know?"

Buffy suddenly feels a chill in her tummy. Somehow, she figures gossip isn't going to be on the menu Monday. She smiles wanly at Faith.

"Sure, Faith. It'd be a hoot…" She sounds very unconvinced.

"There you go, problems solved!"

"Thanks, Faith. I really appreciate it."

"Aw, geeze…"

Everyone turns to Dawn, who's been temporarily forgotten.

"So typical. Buffy bumps her head, and it becomes a major ER moment in here. The drama queen strikes again," Dawn sighs, staring at Buffy.

"Dawn, your sister fell and hit her head, she might be hurt…" Joyce's voice carries a warning note.

"Oh yeah, well, with her head, I'd check the floor for damage…"

Faith has to really bite her lip to keep from laughing. _Gotta give it to her, that was pretty good._

"Dawn, that's enough!" Joyce says, impatiently.

Dawn looks at her mother, and grows sad instead of mad. "Yeah, mom, I guess it is." Her voice is soft, defeated. "The world revolves around her, and I just gotta get used to it." She turns and walks to the door. "One thing, though," She says, pausing in the doorway. "You might wanna stop letting her buffalo you and figure out what she's hiding. Cuz, I know she's up to something." Dawn disappears out of the doorway.

Joyce sits there, conflicted. She knows Dawn often gets the short shrift, with everything going on. But she loves her youngest daughter very much; even more since she seems so stable and self contained. It's with some guilt she realizes she hasn't given her due attention.

On the other hand, her oldest once again seems to need her full attention, ill and now falling for no good reason. She worries a lot about Buffy; not because she loves her more, but she seems to need more. _God, sometimes I wish there were two of me. I really need it…_

"Mom?" Buffy says quietly. "Go on, go after her. She needs you right now. I'm fine, really…"

"Don't be silly, Buffy. She's ok, she's just being…"

"No, she's not. She's being fair," Buffy cuts her off. "She's right. I've been a total drama queen, and like I said, I just tripped and fell down. Hardly anything to have a major Angus over. Neither of us have been really fair to her; me, most of all. Lots of stuff been happening around here, and she hasn't gotten hardly any mom time. Please, mom? I feel guilty enough about how I've been acting …" She rubs the bump on her head. "Don't think I'm gonna die from a bump, you know?" She smiles.

_Just when I think I've got her figured out, she does something like this._

"You're sure, honey?"

"I'll stay with Buff, Joyce. Go on, go talk to Dawn." She bounces down on the bed next to Buffy, patting her leg. "Me and Buff will have a good old chat, won't we girl?" She grins at Buffy.

Buffy has to wonder if she hasn't jumped out of the frying pan, into the fire.

"Yeah, we will. Go on, mom." Buffy puts on a smile.

Joyce, her mom antennae vibrating wildly, knows something's wrong with this scene. But she has Dawn to worry about right now. She gets up from the bed.

"Ok, but if you need me, just call…"

"Just go Joyce, me and the Buff got it covered."

Joyce, still confused, walks out of the room.

The two girls sit there in silence, until both are sure Joyce is out of earshot. Then Faith breaks the tension.

"So, what really happened, Buff?"

Buffy shrugs, looking reluctant to speak. "I dunno. I got dizzy, I fell down." She makes it sound like it happens all the time.

"Do that a lot, do you? Must've been a hell of a cheerleader…" Faith's lips are pursed. "Waving the pom-poms around, falling over and knocking yourself out…"

"Look, I don't know what happened. I was just sitting in the window, thinking about stuff, and I got up to pee, and I got dizzy and fainted, I guess." Buffy frowns. "Not like I planned it or nothing."

"No, I suppose not. I guess it's just something else for the doctor to check out…" Faith arches a brow. "That and being pregnant and all…"

"Geeze, could you hold it down?" Buffy looks nervously towards the door. "What if mom walked in?"

"Buffy, you're going to have to tell her…"

Buffy doesn't speak, she just stares at her.

"… you're not gonna be able to hide this, Buffy. Not on that bony frame of yours. You're going to blow up like a balloon. And I don't think Joyce is gonna buy you just pigging out on Twinkies and Ho-Ho's ."

"I'll tell her…" Buffy says evasively," just not now…"

"When Buffy? How long do you think you can keep this hidden? It's not like a bruise. It won't go away if you don't deal with it. And I'm not gonna stand by forever while you make your mother crazy with worry…"

"I'm going to tell her!" Buffy almost screams at her. She covers her face and sinks back down in the bed. "Why're you picking on me? Just leave me alone!"

"Buffy…" Faith softens her tone. She kneels by the bed, putting a hand on her leg. "Buffy, look at me, c'mon girl. I can't talk to you through your hands…"

"Don't wanna talk," Buffy sulks childishly, still hiding her face, "talk doesn't help. Just go away, please. I just wanna be alone…"

"I know you're scared," Faith gently pries her hands away from her face, revealing her face. "I… we both just want to help you, baby. So let us, ok? Don't shut us out here… your mom loves you…"

"She won't after this. She'll hate me. Think I'm a slutty whore…"

"Buffy, you know that's not true. She'll know you made a mistake…"

"… and she'll be right, cuz I am. I'm nothing but a …."

Faith grabs her shoulders, shaking her. "Stop that!" She stares directly into her eyes. "You're just feeling sorry for yourself now. You know that's not true… I know that's not true, and you doing that to yourself isn't going to help anything!"

"You don't know me, Faith. You don't know anything about me, not really," Buffy's voice is eerily calm. "You think you do, but you don't have a clue…" Her voice cracks just a little, "… what I've done… I'm not some innocent little schoolgirl, Faith. Not by a long shot…"

"Buffy, what're you talking about?" Something in Buffy's words give Faith a chill.

"Nothing. Just don't think you know me, cuz you don't. I know what I am… and I know what I've done… and I can't … " Buffy starts to breath hard, as if she's going to start crying. "Can't we have one weekend without all this crap? Just this one, ok? Please? Just give me a little more time…"

"All right, Buffy," Faith agrees reluctantly. "But we can't keep doing this dance, you know…" She sighs, and gets up. "Maybe I should let you rest…"

"No, I've gotta get up," Buffy pushes up, and swings her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Whoa up, girl. You took a nasty crack to the head… "

"I'm ok, really," Buffy stands up, holding for a moment for the dizziness to pass. "I'm not a baby, I can deal…" She looks at Faith's frowning face. "Faith, c'mon. I just wanna make breakfast, ok? Do something nice for mom… I've made her life so bad lately… just let me do this, ok?"

"Buffy, you're hardly in any shape to be playing with sharp utensils, never mind fire…"

"I'm fine, Faith," Buffy straightens herself up, walking over to retrieve her robe. She pulls it on, then looks at Faith. "I've got to do this. I've really gotta do something nice for mom…"

"All right, but I'm coming with, "Faith pulls her robe tighter. She sees Buffy's expression. "Just to help. Keep you from burning the place down, ok? It's all yours… ever do any cooking?"

"A little…" Buffy shrugs. "How hard can it be to make eggs and bacon?"

Faith doesn't even want to go there. She shakes her head, and looks around. "Go clean up your face. I'm gonna get dressed. Then we'll do this, ok? Wait for me!"

"Well, yeah, wasn't planning on doing it like this…" She indicates her own less than clothed body. "I'll meet you downstairs. And I promise, I won't start til you get there."

"Cool beans," Faith says, not all that enthusiastically. She starts towards the door when Buffy grabs her hand.

"What?"

"Another thing. Think you guys could hold it down a little? Hard to sleep through all the noise." Buffy gives her an arch look.

It's a rare thing, but Faith has a full head to toe blush.

"Sorry…" Faith mutters, walking to the door and exiting.

Heading down the hall, she hears voices coming from Dawn's room. She pauses for a moment, wanting to look in, the decides against it. _Naw, they need a moment without someone butting in._

Reaching her room, she starts picking her clothes off the floor, feeling a little foolish. She can't help feeling manipulated, again. But something in Buffy's words and tone made her uneasy. _Why the sudden need to please Joyce? What's going on in that blond brain of hers?_

Faith resolves then and there to keep a closer eye on Buffy. _God, it'd be just like her to do something totally stupid…_

Shaking her head, she enters Joyce's room to dress.

"Dawn?"

Joyce looks in through Dawn's open door, seeing her sitting on the bed, staring at the sheet, picking at it.

Dawn looks up, and frowns. She doesn't answer.

"Can I come in, honey?"

Dawn shrugs, and silently goes back to fussing with the sheet on her bed.

Joyce, taking that as a yes, walks in and crosses over to her daughter. She stands there, looking down on her. Uncomfortable doesn't begin to explain how she feels. She searches for the right thing to say to open a conversation, but Dawn breaks the silence.

"Look, mom, I'm sorry, ok?" Dawn looks up at her, lips still turned down. "I didn't mean to make a fuss. I know Buffy hurt herself. Maybe you should go back and take care of her."

Dawn turns back to her sheet picking.

"I'm sorry too, Dawn," Joyce lowers herself to the floor, kneeling by her daughter. "I take you for granted, and that's just wrong. You're just so calm and well… you seem to take things so much better than Buffy, that sometimes I forget that you need attention too." She reaches out, brushing her hand through Dawn's long, chestnut colored locks. "I forget sometimes your still 16, and not 36…"

Despite herself, a small little smile tugs at the corner of Dawn's lips. She glances at her mom out of the corner of her eye.

"… but it isn't fair, it really isn't. I know you must be confused and hurting over everything that's happened, honey. I really do. It's not easy for me, even, and I'm supposed to be the mom here…" She smiles winningly at her daughter. "Though, sometimes, I wonder who really is the adult around here…"

Dawn reaches out and covers Joyce's free hand with her own.

"It certainly wasn't me," She admits, "I acted like a brat. I know Buffy hurt herself, and you were worried, like you should be. It's just…" she hesitates for a moment, "… sometimes, I need someone to reassure me, too. I was scared when I saw Buffy lying like that on the floor. And then, everyone was all over Buffy, attending to her, and I felt like nothing, standing out there alone, and I know it wasn't about me, and shouldn't be, but I was still feeling scared, even though I know she was ok. I mean, I love her too, even if I give her a hard time, and seeing her like that… really shook me up. And … god, I'm so selfish…" She shakes her head, impatient with herself. "Really, I'm fine, mom, I am. Go take care of Buffy…"

"Buffy's fine; Faith's with her," Joyce says, standing up and sitting on the bed next to Dawn. "That's better. Old knees, sometimes get fussy if I kneel too long… anyway, Dawn… thing is, you're right. Right then wasn't the time to demand attention. It wasn't about you…" She puts her hand on Dawn's,"… but maybe if I gave you more time otherwise, you wouldn't need to react like that…" She looks in Dawn's sky blue eyes. "See, thing is, you take thing so calmly, I sometimes forget that you need me just as much as your sister does…"

"Maybe I should act out more…" Dawn's only half joking.

"Please, do you want to send your dear old mom to the funny farm?"

Dawn looks at her strangely.

"You know, where they put the crazy people?"

"I know what a funny farm is mom," Dawn says, a little impatiently. "It's just hard to think of anything driving to the padded cell set. You're so strong, doing what you're doing." She squeezes Joyce's hand. "I think you're the strongest person I know."

Joyce almost turns into a puddle of goo right there.

"Sweetie, believe your senile old mom. I'm hardly strong. I'm a total wreck… and that's exactly what you're saying to me, isn't it? Clever child, you're a very clever child… and sneaky. Did I mention sneaky?" Joyce is smiling.

"I mean it, mom," Dawn says seriously, "I really try to be like you. But sometimes it's just too much … I get all crazy…and I lose my cool. Sorry."

Ok, Joyce does turn into a puddle of goo now. She couldn't stand at this moment, even if the house were on fire.

"How did I get so lucky with you?" Joyce pulls her youngest into a hug. One that's returned as fiercely as it's given. "Listen to me, you. I'll try harder, really harder, to see when things are too much for you. But if you got something bothering you, don't keep it bottled up, ok? Talk to me. Anytime, about anything, ok?" She hugs Dawn again, then stands up.

"Ok, mom," Dawn says. "I promise."

Joyce starts to leave, but Dawn stops her.

"Mom?"

_that was fast!_

"Yes, honey?"

"About you and Faith…?"

_Oh, boy. She never asks the _easy _ questions, does she?_

"What about me and Faith?"

"Do you ever feel weird about you and Faith? I mean, being together and everything."

"Do you feel weird about me and Faith being together and … everything?"

"NO!," Dawn protests. "I mean… ok, well… I mean, you were with Dad all those years, and I mean before that, I imagine you had boyfriends…"

"Oh, no, dear. Back in my day, it was all pre-arranged. We met our husbands on the day we were married," Joyce say, tongue firmly planted in cheek. "You know, before we had computers or TV or the wheel or anything…"

"Mom! I'm serious here…" But Dawn giggles, anyway. "I mean, you were with boys and stuff and then with dad, and then Faith comes along and boom, you fall in love with her. And well, doesn't it seem strange to you sometimes?"

Joyce stands there for a moment, digesting that. She really thinks about it, then answers.

"The idea that I might love, or be in love with, I should say, another woman? Ok, yes, that aspect was quite a surprise to me, I admit that. But loving Faith? Strange? No, honey, it seems as natural to me as breathing. Do you see?"

"I guess so…" Dawn doesn't sound all that sure. "Does that mean you're like, gay now?"

Joyce has to laugh. She comes and sits down beside Dawn.

"Honey, I don't know what I am. I mean, all I know is I love Faith. I don't try to categorize it, it just is. Faith has taught me a lot about what it means to be gay…"

"Mom, please, I don't want to hear this!" Dawn clasps her hands over her ears.

"I know, mom and sex. Really icky, huh?" She nudges Dawn. "What, you think you invented that one?"

"Nooo, but I mean, really, mom, do we _have _ to talk about it?" Dawn looks stricken.

"If you'll let me finish, Dawn?"

Dawn looks at her, questioningly.

"I wasn't going to talk about that, honestly. I meant, she taught me about what she has to face every day, being 'out' about who she is. To be proud of who I love, not ashamed. Honey, I don't have a clue if I'm gay, like Faith. But I know I know a lot more about people and relationships than I knew before I knew her. And I'm proud I'm with her, even if it's taken me much too long to figure that out." She looks at her daughter. "If I weren't worried that Hank might try to pull something, I'd have her living here in a shot. If that makes you uncomfortable, well, I'm sorry honey. But I love her."

"Ok, mom," Dawn puts up her hands. "I'm onboard here, ok? But that really wasn't what I was looking for. I mean, how did you know that … how did you know… about Faith. How did you know that you … geeze, mom, jump in any time here, and help me out, ok?"

"How did I know Faith made my heart flutter? That she made me crazy and happy at the same time? Is that what your getting at, honey?"

"Yeah," Dawn blushes a little.

"Ok, honey, now what is this _really_ about?" Joyce cups Dawn chin. "I mean, you're smart enough to know I can't explain why I love someone. People a lot smarter than I have been trying to do that for thousands of years, and still don't have it right. So…?"

"Ok, ok, ok!" Dawn again puts up her hands. "I had this dream… I was kissing Xander, and of course I closed my eyes… and boom, I opened them and I was kissing Faith. I mean, really kissing her… and well…" Dawn goes beet red. "What do you think it means?"

"I'm sorry, Dawn. She's mine. You can't have her." Joyce deadpans.

"MOM! No! My god, I…" Dawn is confused and embarrassed.

Joyce bursts out laughing.

"Hey, it's NOT FUNNY!" Dawn says, miffed.

Joyce calms her laughter, and puts her hand on her daughter's shoulder, squeezing it.

"No, honey, you're right, it's not funny," Joyce says, "But it's not weird, either. You have a crush on Faith. It's not a big deal."

"I so don't!" Dawn denies. Then another blush creeps into her cheek. "Well, maybe a little…"

"Of course you do. She's older, more worldly, she listens to you, treats you like an equal…" She smiles, "and you two took to each other like a duck and well… water. It's natural enough you should have a crush on her."

"But… well, the dream…"

"Oh, honey, that's normal enough too. Just your unconscious mind processing your feelings. Ok, when did I swallow the child psychology book, huh? All I'm saying, it's normal enough, and don't worry about it."

"But…well, sometimes, I dream about Will… Willow… too, and I'm… kissing her too…"

"Oh. Oh dear," Joyce frowns. "This is serious. Should I call the local GLBT chapter, or do you want to?" She can't keep a straight face, and chuckles again.

"MOM!"

"Honey! You're very fond of Willow. It's natural to have these thoughts, these little fantasies…"

"But, but I love Xander!" Dawn protests. "I really do!"

"I'm sure you do, honey," Joyce smiles, "but we all have fantasies. Especially about people close to us. It just happens, ok? " She gets a slightly nostalgic look on her face. "I remember this girl I crushed, seriously crushed on in high school. Cynthia Tanner. She was … well, she was everything I wanted to be. Pretty, outgoing, funny, god, she was funny!… and smart, and … well, I seriously had a thing for her. I mean, I used to dream about kissing her all the time. Of course, it stopped at kissing. We hadn't invented sex just yet…"

Dawn rolls her eyes.

"Honey, all I'm telling you," Joyce gets serious," don't make yourself crazy about these feelings. It's normal enough at your age. Just enjoy being you, ok? Don't worry about what you might be. Plenty of time for that later, ok?" She leans over to Dawn. "You're normal, ok?"

_Yeah, like I'll ever believe _that _ one!_

"Thanks, mom, I feel better… I guess…"

"I've confused you, and made you a little crazy?"

"A little?"

"Good, then my work is done here." Joyce grins. "Honey, don't worry so much about every little thing, ok?"

"Ok, mom…"

Joyce looks out the window, and sees the sun rising. She makes a face.

"Well, I guess it's too late to go back to bed… so, you feeling hungry?"

"Starved!"

"How did I know that?" Joyce gets up. "So, I guess I better rustle up some food. What do you say… wanna help out your old mom? Feed the troops and all?"

"Sure!" Dawn pops up beside Joyce. She loves to experiment with food. Unfortunately, not too many love her experiments…

"The regular way, Dawn. No experimenting with the eggs and sauerkraut again, ok?"

"God, no!" Dawn crosses her fingers behind her back. "I'll never do _that_ one again. Even I didn't like that…"

"I mean it, Dawn. Plain old boring eggs and bacon and waffles…"

"Waffles? Home made?"

"Are there any other kind?"

"Well, yeah, I mean they have those frozen…"

"Kidding Dawn. Come on, we better get this done before you start getting any weird ideas again."

"Ok," Dawn follows along after her, pouting a little. _Spoilsport!_

"I heard that, Dawn," Joyce teases her as they leave the room. She knows her daughter all too well.

"What? What?"

3

"She's not coming."

Buffy looks at her watch, then twirls her spoon in the remainder of her bowl of cereal. Despite this, she's in no hurry to finish. She's definitely dawdling over her breakfast.

"Don't be silly, honey," Joyce says, sipping her coffee. "She's coming. She said she'd be here."

"No, I don't think so," Buffy says, not looking at her mom. "I think she forgot she had a class, and now can't make it." Buffy shrugs. "Oh well, no big. I'll just go to school…"

"Buffy. We discussed this. You're going to the doctor this morning, and Faith was nice enough to take time out of her schedule to take you. No more trying to wiggle out of it." Joyce shakes her head. "I don't understand why you're being like this."

"Well, I don't want to miss any school…"

Dawn snorts, almost choking on her orange juice. As is, she barely keeps it from coming back out her nose.

"Since when?" Dawn looks at her sister, incredulously.

"Hey! I'm all about school…" Buffy starts to do a little dance in her chair, "Get the A's, yeah, get the diploma, get to college, it's my birthday…" She sees her mom and Dawn staring at her. She blushes and stops. "What? Can't I like school?"

"Ok, young lady, I've had my suspicions all weekend…"

"I told you mom…" Dawn says, shaking her head.

Buffy starts to panic._ God, what? Oh no… if she found out…_

"Who are you? And what did you do with my daughter, hmmm?" Joyce grins. "You've been acting strangely all weekend…"

"Yeah, you've hardly been a total spoiled brat at all. She's a pod person…"

"Shut up, Bratticus!" Buffy growls. "This is so typical. I try to do better, get better grades and act better, and everyone gives me grief…" Buffy grabs her bowl and heads for the kitchen. "I can't win, you know?" She disappears through the kitchen door.

"Buffy, don't be…"Joyce starts.

"Don't buy that crap, mom. She's just trying to impress someone…"

"Oh?"

"Oh yeah, I mean, she's hanging around with Willow, they're like that…" She holds up her hand, fingers crossed,"… all of a sudden, like Siamese twins and junk. She's just trying to impress Willow…"

Buffy stares daggers at her as she emerges from the kitchen.

"You're so full of it, squirt. And I'd thank you not to go around spreading rumors… in my own house!"

"… because," Dawn continues, blithely, "Willow is buds with a boy she has the _hots_ for." Dawn stares at her sister, grinning.

Buffy blushes a sweet rose pink.

"You're so full of crap you should be a toilet," Buffy mutters, sitting down.

"Buffy, that's enough," Joyce says, then turns to Dawn. "A boy, huh?" Joyce smiles. She likes the idea of Buffy showing some interest in a boy. That's a good sign, in her opinion. "So, does this boy have a name?"

"There's no boy!" Buffy protests.

"Oz…" Dawn puts in. She catches Buffy's look, and smirks. "Oh yeah, she definitely has a thing for Oz…"

"Oz?" Joyce furrows her brows. "Like the wizard? Is he like, magic?"

"Oh, I think Buffy thinks he's magic…"

"Shut up, stupid! You don't know what you're talking about…" Buffy grumbles, looking fierce.

"Anyway, Oz is his nickname… his name is Daniel Osborne. Oz for short… like him…" Dawn giggles.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was wondering if all your friends had such colorful names. Xander, and Willow… now Oz…" Joyce teases gently.

"Xander is not colorful… I mean, he is, but … his name isn't weird! It's short for Alexander! He just doesn't like Alex…" Dawn feels defensive.

"I'm only teasing, Dawnie," Joyce smiles. "I think Xander's a very nice boy…" She turns to her eldest daughter. "So, tell me about this Oz…"

"Look, I don't have time to indulge Dawn's delusions." She looks at her watch again. "Faith's a no show, and I'm outta here." She starts to get up.

"Sit down, Buffy. She's probably just stuck in traffic. She'll be here…" Joyce shakes her head. "I can't believe the traffic in this town. I figured it would be light… but I swear, it's almost worse than L.A. Every person over 10 must own a car, and be on the road in the mornings…" Joyce sighs.

"Yeah, Buffy, face it. You're not going to get your 'drool over Oz' session in today…"

"Talk about drooling over someone…" Buffy smirks at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dawn looks warily at her sister.

"C'mon, squirt, who do you think you're kidding?" Buffy grins, starting to feel her oats.

"I don't know what you mean," Dawn protests, though she might have a suspicion. A big one.

"Get real, Dawn" Buffy turns on her. "You're like all googly over Faith…"

"You're nuts!" It's Dawn's time for the blooming roses to the cheeks.

"Who do you think you're kidding? All weekend you were following her around, laughing at her stupid jokes… "That's so funny, Faith!" Buffy mimics her," you were like a puppy with her beloved mistress. I swear you even wagged your tail a couple of times…" Buffy turns to Joyce. "Better watch out mom, I think Dawn wants to steal your girlfriend…"

Joyce just smiles, knowing better than to get into the middle of this.

"I've got a boyfriend, Buffy. A real one, not a fantasy guy like you, _Mrs. Osborne_ … so get real yourself!"

"Sure, Dawnie, uh-huh…" Buffy mocks her. "Just keep telling yourself that. Me, I think it's a cover…"

"That's so not true!"

"Isn't it? I wonder…" Buffy is almost chortling in delight. "Maybe this whole dating thing with Xander is just a beard, you know? Maybe you're just doing it to be closer to a certain brunette …"

"I so am NOT!" Dawn protests. "Mom, make her shut up! She's so lying! She doesn't know what she's talking about!"

"Seems to me, Dawn, you opened this can of worms…" Joyce can't believe she's almost enjoying the verbal sparring her daughters are caught in. _At least I know they must be feeling ok, if they can snip at each other._ "Maybe you'll think about what you're going to stir up when you repeat rumors and innuendo, dear."

"Yeah, squirt, so can the innuendo and rumors…" Buffy smiles at her own cleverness.

"You're such a butthead, Buffy!"

"I'm rubber and you're glue…"

"Oh, and did I mention, totally immature?"

Joyce just smiles, and shakes her head. She stands up, grabbing her cup. "Well, you two can fight all you want I suppose. But I've got to get to work."

As she heads for the kitchen, a familiar roaring pulls up into the driveway. "And, it looks like your ride is here, Buffy."

_Oh, gee, just swell, _ Buffy groans internally.

"And I gotta get to school. Some of us don't have the morning to lounge around…" She gives Buffy a smirk. "Have a good visit at the doctor, Buff. Ask for the cherry lollipop… they're the best…" She hums to herself as she walks towards the kitchen.

Buffy sticks her tongue out at her retreating back.

"That showed her, Buffy," A voice behind her causes her to almost bite her tongue. "I'm sure you mortally wounded her with that one."

"Faith," Buffy murmurs, turning around.

Faith is standing there, in her motorcycle leathers, holding her helmet to the side. She winks at Buffy.

"So, how're ya feeling, girl? You look good," She comes over and musses Buffy's hair.

"Don't! Geeze, I spent a half hour getting that right…" Buffy protests, but secretly loves it. "You're looking … leathery."

"You like?" Faith does a little twirl. "A lotta cows gave their lives so I can look this good…" She walks over and plops down in the chair next to Buffy. "So, who's a girl gotta kill to get a cup of coffee around here?"

As if on cue, Joyce walks out of the kitchen at the very moment, holding a steaming mug of coffee, which she places in front of Faith. Her eyes linger on Faith's leather clad body, maybe with just a touch of hunger.

"I really would appreciate if you didn't kill anyone this morning, Faith. I'm kind of in a hurry, and don't have time to clean the blood out of the carpeting…" And she gives Faith a little shove, causing her to almost spill her coffee.

"Hey, what's that for?" Faith protests, looking up at her.

"For flirting with my daughter, thank you very much. Right in front of me, practically!"

"Oh, c'mon, baby, you know I only got the hots for you!" She grabs Joyce's arm, and pulls her down into a warm kiss.

"Oh, god, can't you guys EVER restrain yourselves? That is so …" Buffy makes a face.

"Oh, they're always like that!" Dawn says, coming out of the kitchen. "They really need to learn not traumatize us so early in the morning." She glances briefly at Faith's outfit. "Nice use of a cow, Faith."

"I thought so," Faith says, breaking the kiss with Joyce. " Finest angus available, ya know."

Buffy sniggers, and Dawn throws her an angry look. She turns to Faith, smiling brightly.

"So I see," Dawn turns back to Buffy. "don't forget, only accept the cherry." She moves to the front door. "Gotta fly. Gotta real boyfriend to meet."

Without further ceremony, Dawn slips out the front door.

Faith gives Buffy a very peculiar look.

"Cherry?" She smirks, arm draped over Joyce's hips. "What's that about?"

Buffy feels the blood in her cheeks.

"It's just her. She's got a thing for cherry lollipops. Go figure."

Faith gives her a half amused, half salacious look, which quickly fades under Joyce's look. She smiles, slightly embarrassed.

Joyce bends over giving Faith a quick peck on the lips.

"I'll thank you to get your mind out the gutter, especially when it concerns my daughters," She mock scolds her. Then she comes over, and gives Buffy a peck on the cheek. "And you, young lady, don't forget to call me. I want to know how you are, ok?"

"I told you, mom, I'm fine," Buffy can't help making a last ditch effort. "This is just a total waste of time."

"Humor me, ok?"

Buffy just gives her a 'God, the things I gotta suffer through' look.

"Ok, gotta run. So… " She turns to Faith. "See you tonight?"

"Can't, Joy. Gotta work…" Faith shrugs helplessly.

"I was hoping maybe after…?"

"Joyce, I've got to study sometime… or I'll flunk out and then what?"

"I know, I just miss you when you're not here…" Joyce pouts, just a little.

Buffy sits there, listening to this, feeling very uncomfortable. _God, do they have to discuss their love life in front of me?_

"I know, I do too, baby," Faith stands up, and grabbing Joyce, pulls her into a very warm kiss.

"Oh god, c'mon guys! Digesting here!"

The kiss breaks, and both look at Buffy, amused.

"I'm sorry, dear, you're just going to have to get used to it!" Joyce says. She gives Faith another quick kiss. "I'll see you tonight, Buffy!"

She quickly hurries out the door, knowing if she lingers, nothing will get done.

"So, Buff, ready to motor?"

"Yeah, I guess, now that you're done mauling my mom," Buffy picks up her bowl, heading for the kitchen.

"Oh, c'mon, Buffy. It wasn't that bad," Faith smirks, watching her go. "I mean, haven't you ever heard of being in love before?"

"Haven't you heard of decorum?" Buffy re-enters, crosses and sits down. "Bad enough I have to listen to that all night… but at the breakfast table, too? Geeze. You guys are like a bunch of horny teenagers…"

"You being the expert, of course…" Faith says dryly. She chuckles. "Cherry lollipops…"

"Would you let that go?" Buffy blushes, "I told you, that's a Dawn thing."

"Uh-huh," Faith sounds unconvinced. She looks at her watch. "We better get going…"

"How come you _weren't _ here last night?" Buffy stalls, "I mean, I'm not complaining… I was able to actually sleep… but…?"

"Thought you didn't want to hear about our love life, Buffy."

"I don't!" Buffy affirms, "just, mom missed you I know, and I kinda expected you to be here every night now that …" She shrugs,"… now that we're _all _ in the know now…"

"Look, about that Buffy. We just thought that it best we don't make it worse for you…"

"You told Dawn… well, mom told Dawn… what, did you think I didn't want to know?"

"Frankly, yes…" Faith smirks at her expression. "… you made pretty clear you didn't want to know anything about anybody with your mom that wasn't your dad…"

Buffy blushes. "Can we _not_ talk about my father?"

Faith cocks her head, frowning.

"What's wrong, Buffy. Did you and your dad have a fight or something?"

"No! But anything between my mom and dad is obviously over… and I really don't want you talking about him, ok?"

"Ok, ok!" Faith holds up her hands in surrender. "Sorry."

"Let's just go. Get this over with," Buffy gets up, and walks to the door. "I just want this over!"

She exits, without looking back.

Faith scrambles out of her chair to follow. Grabbing Buffy's purse, and coat, which she forgot, she heads for the front door.

_Ok, what was THAT all about?_

Still puzzled, she leaves.

4

Hank sits quietly in the lobby, waiting.

He feels nervous, and excited. Finally, he's getting his chance to see Avery Chase. He's been waiting for a long time to get an appointment with the man, and he's anxious to finalize the deal between Chase Holdings and his company.

When he got the call on Sunday afternoon, he'd been somewhat surprised. He covered well, however, and worked through the evening, polishing his presentation. He knew this had to be perfect.

If he could get Avery onboard, if he could get the business from Chase Holdings, it would mean everything. He knew that the potential growth for his company was staggering, but they had the people in place to handle it. He new revenues would surge almost 39 in the first year, and continue at a more modest, but still dizzying rate for years to come. All in all, this was _the_ deal of a lifetime, and it could make Hank and his partners rich.

Hank wouldn't mind being rich. He might even entertain the offer by his partners, Stan Weiss and Robert 'Bob' Morehouse to sell his piece of the firm. IF this deal goes through, it would be quite a tidy sum he'd realize. More than enough to live quite well, with the right investments and the right location, for many, many years to come. He certainly wouldn't stick around in this one horse, backwater town. There certainly wasn't anything to hold him here. Not any longer.

He'd been served, just last week, with the final divorce papers. He'd put off signing them, turning them over to his attorney to review. What he learned infuriated him.

_What do they think I am? Made of money? 2500 dollars a month each for Buffy's and Dawn's child support? Never mind the half of everything we own, the house in Sunnydale, the money invested in the Gallery, etc. etc. If she thinks I'm gonna bankrupt myself paying that kind of money, she's got another think coming. No way that's happening!_

So, just another reason to look forward to this deal happening. He'd take his share, and get out of Dodge as soon as he could. He knew of plenty of countries that would shield him from any legal action Joyce could bring against him. He was done playing Santa Claus to a family that didn't want him. They want him gone? Fine! But don't expect him to pay for the privilege!

"Mr. Summers?"

Hank looks up, expectantly.

"Mr. Chase will see you now."

Hank stands, and grabbing his briefcase, follows the assistant into Avery Chase's office.

The first thing that goes through his mind is _Rich._ The second? _Extremely rich._ He stands in the doorway, taking in the environment.

Avery is seated at an antique oak desk, quite large, that would easily appraise for a small fortune.

The office itself is sparsely furnished, but every piece is carefully placed, and it's easy to tell a lot of money and care went into designing the space. Objects d'art were placed to show off to their best advantage, and one wall was devoted to floor to ceiling bookshelves, stocked with a formidable library.

There were all the latest tech toys: A large flat paneled TV mounted to the wall opposite Avery's desk, a high power computer wired to a broadband internet connection, a stereo system worth more than a year of Hank's normal salary. A small panel on the wall controlled everything, including the lighting, air conditioning and a well hidden, state of the art security system including monitoring cameras.

What really caught his attention, however, was the man himself. Despite the cavernous office, surrounded by his toys and favorite objects d' art, Avery Chase seemed to fill the space. His personality and presence seemed to permeate the room, making Hank feel as if he were surrounded. It puts him a little off his game.

Avery looks up from his desk, and smiles. "Henry! Hello," He greets Hank like and old friend, even though this is their first face to face, " Please come in," He stands, waving to the chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat, make yourself comfortable."

As Hank approaches the desk, he can't help feeling there's something predatory in Avery's smile, despite the warm greeting. He also notes the youthful trimness, and athletic build on his potential client, and again feels a slight sense of disadvantage.

"Sorry it took so long to get back to you," Avery says, as both men sit, facing each other. "Business. It never let's up. I'm sure you understand…"

"Of course," Hank says, settling into the chair. He notices that it leaves him slightly below eye level with Avery. He sits up, trying to equalize things. "I'm just glad you could make time in your busy schedule to see me. What, with the foundation, and the various companies, I'm sure you barely find time to sleep."

Avery chuckles softly, appreciating Hank has done some homework.

"Can I get you anything before we begin? Coffee, tea… a drink, perhaps?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Very well. To business then." Avery picks up a file off his desk, pulling out a sheath of papers from it. "I must say, my management staff was quite intrigued by your initial proposal, and after negotiating with your company, passed the final revisions on to me. I've read it over, and I must say, I'm impressed with your work."

"Thank you," Hank says, smiling and relaxing a little.

"I understand you assembled a presentation, outlining the advantages of using…" He glances quickly at the pages. "… Summerland Systems for our information management needs?"

"Absolutely. As it states in my proposal, we've gone over your current Information Management systems, and after careful analysis, we've devised a system that will not only exceed your current provider, but also has the built in flexibility to grow and change as you do. And, we can save you a considerable amount in operational costs. Down the line, we project at least a 26 savings, bringing your overall cost Vs return ratio in line with industry standards."

Hank opens his briefcase, and pulling out his laptop, brings it out of standby mode.

"Is there someplace I can set this up?" He asks, while typing in some commands.

"There is a hook up by the large screen TV, at least that's what the installer said when he put the thing is. Might as well use the overpriced toy for something besides catching the news and sport scores, eh?"

They share a laugh as Hank walks over and sets up the laptop.

After testing, and satisfied the hookup works, he turns back to Avery, "If we could dim the lights a little…?"

Avery slides his hand over the top of the desk, revealing a small control panel. He touches a button, dimming the lights.

"Perfect," Hank says, and begins his demonstration.

He spends the next 90 minutes running his presentation, outlining what Summerland Systems could do for Chase holdings, pausing and answering all of Avery Chase's sometimes penetrating questions. He is on top of it; he knows the material, done the research, and knows his customer. He has Avery intrigued and in hand, and he knows it.

Despite that, he can't help feeling that Avery is, in some way, sizing him up, taking his measure. His dark, penetrating gaze is very disconcerting, and at times, Hank can't help feeling as if he were naked, as if Avery could see inside him to his very soul. If he weren't so well versed in the product, so used to giving demonstrations, he might actually be thrown off his presentation. As is, he gets through it, but not without some sense of disquiet. _What's he up to? What's he looking for?_

"… so, as you can see," Hank wraps up the presentation, " by using our system of information management, you can increase productivity down the line, from top to bottom. You'll have a better information flow; stronger security, including redundancy and offsite storage, as needed, in secure vaults; you'll decrease costs by 10 at startup, and incrementally from there until you reach an ultimate savings of 25 overall. And finally, you'll be able to cut your support staff by at least 15, as our systems are more efficient and have designed in lower maintenance." He looks at Avery with a smile. "Any questions?"

Avery touches a button on his desk, bringing up the lights. He smiles, and waves at Hank to sit down.

"No, no questions, Hank. You've made a very clear, very convincing presentation. I can clearly see the advantages of going with Summerland Systems, and I'm this close…" He holds up his index finger and thumb, nearly pressed together.

Like a dog drooling over a bone, Hank can almost smell the steak. He comes over to Avery, sitting across from him.

"Tell me, Avery, what can I do to allay any doubts you might have?"

Again, Avery sweeps over Hank with his eyes, and then turns away from him, presenting only his profile. He leans back in his chair.

"As I'm sure you realize, Henry, being in business yourself, that there are aspects of my corporations that work in strict confidentiality. Beside the government contracts we hold, there are aspects of my company that if, somehow, information were leaked about them, could be very detrimental to the corporation as a whole…" He turns slightly towards Hank,"… after all, discretion is everything, you understand."

"Absolutely, Avery," Hank nods empathetically, "I assure you, our staff is thoroughly screened and bonded before they're hired. We place a premium on our client's trust, and our confidentiality." He smiles winningly "We also have government contracts, and they seem satisfied with our arrangement."

"I'm sure," Avery nods, "but you must see…" he turns even more towards Hank,"…that there is no control like what you yourself wield. I know for certain currently that all business of Chase Holdings stays within Chase… period. Bringing in an outside company, opening oneself up to possible leaks… it's just something I can't afford to do. Sorry."

Hank feels as if his guts are being twisted by malicious and particularly vengeful hands.

"Avery, certainly there is something we can do to assure you that your information is 100 secure and safe…"

"As things stand now, Hank? I'm afraid not. Sorry." His tone is slightly dismissive.

Hank sits there, stunned. He sees the deal of a lifetime slipping through his fingers, and can't help feeling some resentment towards the self satisfied son of a bitch in front of him. He frowns, and turns to collect his case.

"Very well, Avery. I have to admit, I think you're making a mistake, but …" he shrugs, rising to collect his laptop.

"Henry, Henry, Henry," Avery turns full around, facing Hank. "Please, don't be so hasty." He smiles and cocks his head. "Surely you know that negotiations are never easy … and you never quit in the middle…" He cocks his head, smiling.

Hank feels as if he's been dressed down by a stern professor.

"You seem set on not working with us, Avery. What do you expect?"

"If you'd been paying attention, Henry," Avery's tone reflects a slight irritation, "You would remember I said we were this close to dealing." He again puts up his thumb and forefinger. "I really hope I don't have to teach you negotiations 101 here… this is the part where you ask what it'll take to do the deal, Henry."

Hank feels his own irritation rising, but pushes it down, way down. _Think of the potential here Hank. Just humor him._

"I'm sorry, Avery, " Hank smiles. "What's it going to take to make this happen?"

"Very good, Henry. Perfect," Avery opens a drawer, pulling out a folder. "Inside you'll find my counter proposal. Please, take your time looking it over."

Henry takes the folder, and opening it, begins to read the document within. As he continues, some surprise shows on his face; surprise he can't quite hide from Avery. He finishes, sets down the folder, and looks up at Avery.

"So, that's what this is all about. You want to buy Summerland…"

"Yes, I do. As I said, I was very impressed by both your demonstration this morning, and what research I had done on your company. I feel, with the proper capitalization behind it, and with the right management team, it could become a very profitable arm of the Chase company. And, finally, it satisfies my need for absolute security, bringing the company under my direct control. So, you see, buying Summerland Systems is a win-win situation."

"I do see," Hank nods. "And I have to admit," he indicates the folder, "you've made a very generous offer. But I have partners…"

"Oh, I'm sure you could persuade your partners to go along with the deal…" Avery says dismissively. "You are the managing partner, after all."

"I'm afraid you misunderstand, Avery. You're deal is very generous… for me. Splitting it three ways, not so generous at all. Not after working building this business for so long…"

Avery sits back in his chair, and smiles a tight little smile. He gazes at Hank, appreciating the boldness. Appreciating, but not enjoying.

"I see. So you feel the offer is inadequate?" His forced smile flattens into a line. "I fear you misunderstand, Henry. I've done extensive homework on your company. While I'm impressed by your systems, I'm not impressed with its management. It could've come a lot farther along in it's time, if things had been run more efficiently." He reaches in for another folder. "I have your company's financials right here, and while I see potential, frankly?" He shakes his head. "I don't think its current worth even matches my overly generous offer. As is, It's going to take time to recover from the costs of merging, never mind showing a profit."

"Well, it doesn't all have to be in cash, Avery," Hank says, quietly. "I'm sure you could sweeten the deal a bit. Perhaps I retain oh… 10 of my share of Summerland after the deal, and maybe kick in some Chase stock?"

Avery's eyes narrow, and he leans forward on his desk. He taps the folder containing his proposal.

"Henry, I admire your bravado, but I've made a very generous deal. Take it."

"I'm sorry. I can't. Not for all the time and work I've put into the company."

"I see," Avery says, sitting back in his chair, and sighing. "I'd hoped you'd take the smart course in this Henry, but I overestimated you I suppose."

"I'm sorry we couldn't do business," Hank says stiffly, again rising to leave.

"Sit down, Henry. You look like a jack in the box, popping up and down." Avery waves him to sit. "We're not finished here."

Henry hesitates, feeling a slight chill in his guts. He stares at Avery, and frowns.

"What's the point, Avery? It's clear you won't do business with us, I'm not interested in your counter offer. I can't see wasting anymore time here…"

"Sit down, Hank," Avery commands.

Hank sits, puzzled as to why he did.

"I'm going to give you another chance to do the right thing here, Henry. The smart thing. I can understand your reaction; after all, you've put a lot of time and energy into making Summerland Systems a go. I commend your effort. But let's deal in reality here for a moment. I've made a very generous offer for your company, more than it's worth. Perhaps if you spent more time with the accountants and number crunchers, you'd realize that. I'm not a fool, and I don't waste money. But I figured there might be some resistance to my offer, and I wanted this to go smoothly." Avery smiles unpleasantly. "Evidently I didn't count on your stupidity or greed."

"Now, wait a second, Avery. Never mind insulting me with that lowball offer for the company, if you think I'm going to sit here and let you insult me personally…"

Avery merely stares him into silence.

"Fine, have your say. I'm not changing my mind," Hank says petulantly.

"That would be too bad. It's a good offer, Henry. A better offer than you'll receive otherwise. If you're smart, you'll take it and stop being stubborn. It's more than enough to start over, or even to live quite well in certain foreign countries for the remainder of your life." Avery smiles, pouring on the charm. " C'mon now, Hank, you've impressed me as an intelligent man. Don't make me rethink that position."

"Think whatever you want, Avery," Hank stands again. "I've told you my position, and I'm not changing it." He collects his briefcase, and turns towards the flat panel plasma TV. "If you don't mind, I'll collect my equipment and be on my way." He walks over to the laptop.

"That's really too bad, Henry. I wish we could've worked something out. " Avery reaches into another drawer, lower down. He pulls out a thick file folder. "Perhaps you should see this before you leave, however."

Hank glances over, and sees the file on Avery's desk. He scowls.

"I don't think there's anything more I wish to see from you, Avery."

"Oh, I think you'll want to see this one, Henry…" Avery's expression becomes grim. "I'm sure your partners would be very interested in it."

Hank slips the laptop in his case. "More games, Avery? Haven't you learned, no means no?" Hank purses his lips.

"No games, Henry. Strictly facts. Actually," He flips through the file, smiling that unpleasant smile of his, " it's quite some reading. You've been a very naughty boy, Henry Summers."

Hank freezes, staring at Avery Chase.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Oh please, Henry. Don't pretend innocence. It's so distasteful for a man like yourself…" Avery stops at a page, and looks up at Hank. " How old was this girl? I'm rather impressed, Hank, considering…" He smiles salaciously.

"Let me see that…" Hank crosses quickly to the desk. Avery hands him the sheet. He looks it over, going pale. "This is a lie. This never happened…"

"Well, she claims it happened, and you know how those things are. There doesn't need to be a scandal if the scent of one exists." Avery chuckles, amused. "Seems you enjoy your girls young, Hank…"

Hank grabs the file from Avery, and starts flipping through it. His face becomes paler, and a bead of sweat stands out on his forehead. He looks up at Avery, visibly upset.

"Where did you get this?"

"It wasn't all that hard, Henry. You're rather sloppy about taking care of your discards, old fellow. It helps to own a very thorough private investigative agency, I admit. But I need it, in my line of work. After all, someone who does business without knowing all he can about his potential associates is a fool. Wouldn't you agree?" He nods at Henry, and the file. "I have to admit, I learned a lot more than I thought I would. As I said, I'm impressed … with your stamina, if not your discretion."

"All right. I guess you've got me. I accept your offer…" Hank says, through clenched teeth.

"Yes, well, the offer… I'm sorry, but that was a one time thing, and you turned it down. Sorry, I'll just have to use other means to acquire what I want…"

"What? What do you mean…?"

"Henry, please. This stupid act is no longer amusing, "Avery stands. "You and your partners went public, don't you recall? To raise capital. That means, you company is held publicly. Anyone can buy a controlling interest in it…"

"I'm the majority stockholder…"

"That doesn't matter. You don't own a _controlling _ interest. I've been buying up stock in Summerland, Henry. Quietly, without fanfare, ever since you first approached me months ago. I own a good piece, but not enough. I have to file various forms to buy more than I've already acquired. Some silly FTC rule." Avery shrugs. "I wanted to avoid this, I really did. But since you're so stubborn… you leave me no choice."

"That won't do it for you, Avery. I know between myself and my partners, we own a controlling interest."

"True, very true. However, once you partners see this, and also see the offer I plan on giving them for the company, I'm sure they'll be amenable to selling. Don't you?" Avery shakes his head. "You should've been much more careful with your little crimes. I'm sure your partners will be quite upset when they learn you've been stealing them blind. Shame, Henry. Shame, shame, shame, "He waggles his finger at Hank. "I'd start consulting a lawyer. I'll do my best to protect you, but your partners may decide to prosecute."

"What proof do you have?" Hank holds up the file. "I've got the evidence…"

"A copy. Please, keep it. Consider it a gift. I have plenty of copies."

Hank stands frozen, stunned. He can hear the walls of his world cracking, beginning to collapse in on him. And he's aware there's nothing he can do about it. He stands slumped, defeated.

"Now, Henry, I'm not a monster, despite what you think of me right now. I don't want to see you in jail. It serves no purpose, and frankly, I admire your range of peccadilloes. No, I don't want you in jail… and there's a way to avoid it." He pulls a sheet out of the original proposal, and slips it across the desk. "this is a legal document, signing over your shares in Summerland to me. Of course, I'll still have to file those pesky FTC forms before I can use them, but …" Avery shrugs. "Let's just say I have a soft spot in my heart for you."

_Heart? You mean that lump of iron in your chest?_

Hank, trapped, walks over and picks up the paper. He looks it over and notices a dollar figure for the sale of the shares.

"This isn't close to what they're worth," his tone is flat, not defiant.

"Well, of course not. Did you expect to get market? Anyway, if this information gets out, I'm not all that sure that they'll be worth the paper they're printed on…" He hands Hank a pen. "Sign the paper, Henry."

Hank takes the pen, and pausing for a moment, signs the document. He throws the pen down on the desk in a last show of defiance.

"Temper, Henry, temper." Avery quickly retrieves the paper, filing it away. "Now, let's see… where did I put that…" He opens the pencil drawer on his desk, and withdraws a certified check. "Ah, here we go…"

"You had that… already made out?"

"Of course, Henry. I prepare for all contingencies, "Avery smiles, handing Hank the check. "Now, don't you wish you'd been a little less stubborn?"

Hank says nothing. He looks at the check, slips it in his suit coat pocket, and turns to go.

"Oh, Henry, wait." Avery comes around the desk, "if you don't mind, leave the laptop. The hard drive contains valuable and confidential Summerland information. I really don't want you trying to sell it elsewhere." Avery holds out his hand.

Hank looks at him, frowning. Rather than handing the case over to him, he opens it, extracting the laptop. He throws it on the ground, where it sparks on contact. Not satisfied, he goes over and stomps on it a few times, flattening it.

"Nothing to worry about now, I suppose, Avery."

Before Avery can comment, Hank turns and leaves.

Avery watches him go, a look of disgust fighting with a grin on his face. The grin wins, and sighing, he looks down at the wreckage of the laptop.

He shakes his head.

"Henry."


	25. Chapter 25

A change of seasons, Chapter 23

1

Faith pulls the motorcycle into the parking lot of Sunnydale High, maneuvering carefully amongst the cars to avoid being hit by departing vehicles. It's lunch time, and those leaving campus for lunch are making their getaway. Most don't bother to look for potential accidents, and Faith has to make some sharp turns to avoid becoming a statistic.

She guides the Harley the last few feet to the parking lot gate, and stopping near it, cuts the engine. As soon as they stop, Buffy, who's been holding on with her arms around Faith's waist, lets go and seems to slump back and away from her.

They sit there for a few moments, neither saying a word. The silence itself speaks volumes; there's obviously not been a word passed between them on the ride from the doctor's office to school. As the moment drags on, and neither speaks nor moves, a cold, silent tension grows between them.

"We're here," Faith finally says, her tone neutral and distant.

"Yeah," Buffy says without enthusiasm. She doesn't move to get off the bike, and stares at the back of Faith's head. "You're mad at me."

The tension knots in Faith's shoulders almost seem to undulate as Faith lets out a sigh. It's a sigh of patience from someone who's not naturally so.

"I'm not mad," Faith says, curtly. "I just don't get you. I don't understand why you're acting like this."

"I gotta go," Buffy says, hopping off the bike. "I'll seeya later…" She starts to walk away.

"Running away isn't gonna make it go away, Buff," Faith calls out to her.

Buffy stops, and tightens up. She turns and walks back to Faith's bike, a slightly angry expression on her face.

"Gee, just yell louder, why don't you, Faith?" Buffy purses her lips. "I'm sure the whole school would like to hear."

"Hear what, Buff?" Faith says, lowering her voice. "but you gotta face it, Buffy. You're almost 3 months pregnant. You're not gonna be able to hide it much longer…" she reaches out, slipping a finger under Buffy's waistband. "You can't barely get a finger in there… you're already starting to get bigger, girl."

"God, get away from me!" Buffy pulls away, stepping back a few paces. "What's your deal? Just leave me alone, ok?"

"Just trying to make you face reality, Buffy," Faith stares at her stomach. "You're mom's not gonna buy you've been pigging out on Twinkies and Ho-Ho's either, you know…"

"Look Faith, not your business, ok? I appreciate the ride to the doctor and all, but butt out."

"You made it my business. You asked for my help. Well, part of that means you gotta own up to it, and dealing with it."

"I'm dealing with it, ok?" Buffy says, angrily. "God damn it, I'm doing the best I can, so just back off!"

"You're not doing shit," Faith says, "this aint Barbies, you know. You can't just stop playing when it's not fun anymore. This is real, very real, and you gotta start seeing that, and deciding what you're going to do about it. That includes telling your mom."

"I know that!" Buffy almost explodes. "Don't you think I know that? I know I gotta tell her, and I will. I will, so just leave it alone!"

"When, Buffy?" Faith pushes her. "When you're in the delivery room at Sunnydale General? This can't wait, you know. And the longer you delay it, the worse it'll be!"

"God, how do you know that?" Buffy retorts. "What do you know about it, anyway? I'm tired of being the one everyone looks at and can't stand to be around, you know? I'm tired of feeling like no one wants me around. How could you even know how _that _feels, huh? Maybe I just want some time where my mom doesn't think I… aw, shit, why am I even talking to you? You don't get it and you never will!"

Faith bites back the urge to yell at her, to tell her she knows exactly how that feels, and Buffy knows she knows how that feels. She knows Buffy's upset, and not thinking clearly.

"Yeah, ok, maybe I don't know how you feel, exactly, Buffy. But I know what you're feeling and I know you're scared, ok?"

Buffy feels as if the winds have been knocked out of her sails. She rolls her eyes at her own stupidity.

"Yeah, ok, duh. I'm blonde, I gotta an excuse, ok?" All her fight seems to drain into the ground. "I'm sorry, I know I gotta tell mom, I do. And… I will, but I'm just not you, Faith. I'm not strong like you. I can't take the rejection. I don't know if she'll … what she'll do. Maybe she'll be so disgusted with me, she'll boot me out. I just… I just don't want to be the bad one anymore, don't you get it? I just… I just want her to not be ashamed of me anymore… I … tired of messing up all the time…"

"Then stop it. Stop messing up all the time," Faith says firmly.

"Yeah, well, great. Easy for you to say, Ms. Perfect. But some of us aren't perfect like you…"

"Buffy, shut up."

"What?"

"Which part of shut up didn't you get?" Faith shakes her head. "I'm not perfect, you're mom's not perfect, NO ONE'S PERFECT. Ok? We all mess up. No one expects you to be perfect, don't you get that?"

Buffy stands there, looking at her blankly.

"What I'm saying is Buffy, everyone fucks up. It's life, that's how it goes. It's how you deal with the fuck up that counts. Stop being a baby, stop trying to pretend what happened didn't happen, and act like the adult you nearly are and own up to it."

She sees Buffy mouth open to protest and she cuts her off.

"Don't say you can't. You can; you're a lot stronger than you think you are…" Faith's voice and expression softens. "Look, it's not gonna be easy. Not gonna lie to you. I know there's gonna be tears, and your mom's not gonna be happy. But you'll live through it, and on the other side? You're gonna be a lot happier. Cuz, then you're gonna discover something you should already know."

"Like what?" But Buffy's tone isn't sarcastic. It's almost like a student asking her mentor for guidance.

"Like, you're mom would never, _EVER, _kick you to the curb cuz you turned up pregnant. She might not do back-flips about it, but she'll take care of you, make sure you're ok, and she'll help you. God, she'd do anything for you and your sister."

She notices the tears rolling down Buffy's cheeks, but she doesn't say anything about it.

"She loves ya, babe, you and Dawnie, more than anything in this world. Like she should. She's your mom, after all…"

Buffy's face seems to collapse, and suddenly she's crying full tilt. She stands there, separate from Faith, fists balled up, crying her heart out.

"I…I'm so… ashamed…" Buffy cries softly, shaking a little. "I'm… always doing this… making her ashamed of me… doing crap … I just… I just… want for once for her to be … to be … proud of me… be happy I'm her…"

"Buffy… don't…" Faith gets off her bike, going to her. But Buffy backs off, putting up her hands.

"No… don't… I don't… please… leave me alone…" She starts to back away.

"Buffy…"

"Just go, would you Faith?"

"Buffy? Hey, Buffy!"

Both women turn to see Willow rapidly approaching.

"Where've you been? I asked Dawn, but she only mumbled something about the doctor…" Willow gets a good look at Buffy. "Hey ,what's up? Why're you crying?" She turns to Faith, frowning a little. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing's going on here," Faith says, irritated. "We were just talking…"

"Really?" Willow isn't liking Faith's tone very much. "Then why is Buffy crying? What did you say to her?"

"Willow, it's nothing," Buffy says, grabbing her arm. "Let's just go, ok?"

"Ok, Buff," Willow gives Faith a hard look, then turns and starts off with Buffy.

_Oh, no, we don't end it like this._

"Buffy! Wait, we still need to talk…" Faith starts to follow them.

"I think we're done talking," Willow answers for Buffy. "Maybe you should go now!"

"Look, Red… this isn't any of your business, you know? Me and Buffy gotta talk some more…"

"I don't want to talk anymore, Faith," Buffy says, "I get it already, ok? I'll see you later."

"Buffy, we're not done here…"

"Oh yeah, you are," Willow says, breaking away from Buffy. "Leave. Now."

Faith stops, cocks her head, and grins. "And, if I don't want to leave? Now?"

"Look, Faith, I don't wanna fight…"

"Good, me either," Faith retains her grin. "Just move outta the way so I can talk to Buffy… alone would be nice, too."

"Will? Never mind… I'll talk to her… just … maybe wait over there…" Buffy points towards the school.

"Look, Buffy. You don't have to talk to her if you don't want. She's not supposed to be on campus anyway…"

"It's ok… just wait here…"

"Buffy? I can get Snyder…"

"No! Just wait here for me, ok?"

"You're sure?"

Buffy nods.

"Ok, whatever."

Buffy walks over to Faith, and leads her back to the parking lot. Willow stands there, torn between trying to move closer, and listen in, or staying here and hoping Buffy will tell her what's going on. _Naw, that'll never happen…_ she starts towards the parking lot.

"Hey, Will!"

Willow turns to see Oz coming towards her.

"Hey, Oz," Willow turns back towards the lot.

"What's up?" Oz follows Willow's line of sight, and sees Buffy and Faith, both gesticulating, over in the parking lot. "What's going on? Who's that with Buffy?"

"That's Faith."

"Oh," Oz nods. They watch for a few moments. "Who's Faith?"

Willow gives him such a strange look, that Oz realizes that perhaps Willow isn't the best source of information about this Faith. Certainly not unbiased, anyway.

"Buffy didn't mention Faith to you?" Willow finally asked. Her lips seem to tighten mentioning the name.

"No," Oz said quietly, watching her face work.

"Well, all I know is she's… a friend of the family. Other than that, not a clue," Willow says with uncharacteristic shortness.

"Ok, then," Oz figures he'll try Buffy. Maybe he'll get a more complete picture there.

They turn back to watch Buffy and Faith, only to see both are looking at them. Then they turn to each other, talking to each other. Faith shakes her head, and Buffy just puts up her hands. Faith frowns, then turns and walks to her bike. Without any ceremony, she starts it up and rides off.

Buffy watches her go, then turns and starts to stride quickly towards the school. Her face looks set and determined.

"Hey, Buff, you ok?" Willow asks as Buffy joins them. "Did she…?"

"Don't ask, ok?" Buffy cuts off any line of inquiry into that topic. "Can we just go and have lunch now? I didn't eat much at breakfast, and I'm starved."

Not really waiting for an answer, she starts off towards the cafeteria. Willow and Oz exchange a significant look, then follow behind.

Faith pauses at the exit to the parking lot, looking both ways before making her left turn into traffic. She also has a determined look on her face.

"So, Willow knows about Buffy's pregnancy. Now, aint that interesting?" She mutters to herself as she waits for the signal to change. "Well, well. Since Buffy won't give up who the daddy to her baby might be, maybe old Red might have a clue or two…"

She looks in her mirror, and sees Sunnydale High school reflected there.

"Looks like me and Red are gonna have to have a little chat…" She mutters, as she roars off down the street.

2

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Buffy, Willow and Oz are just reaching the cafeteria when they see a huge crowd in the quad, standing around chanting.

"What the heck's going on over there?" Willow murmurs, starting towards the crowd.

"Hey, no…" Buffy grabs her arm, holding her back. "You don't wanna get caught in the middle of that crowd. It's just some idiots having a fight…"

"We should check it out," Willow says, not stopping. She pulls Buffy along with, and Oz, looking vaguely amused, follows up the rear. "Somebody might get hurt…"

"Yeah, well, what're you gonna do?" Buffy asks, a little resentful of getting mixed up in this. _God, don't I gotta enough trouble, without going looking for it. _" Except maybe get hurt yourself?"

"Buff, we can't just stand by and not do…"

"TAKE IT BACK!" One of the combatants in the center yells out.

Willow freezes. She looks at Buffy, whose eyes have gone wide. Oz looks puzzled.

"What?" He asks, not getting it.

"Dawn!" Buffy and Willow say together.

Buffy, concerned, pushes through the crowd. Despite getting her foot stomped on a couple of times, and being bumped and elbowed, she manages to break through to the front of the crowd.

Dawn is barely being held back by Xander, who is trying to keep her from attacking the other combatant, who is blocked from Buffy's view by Xander. The crowd starts chanting again.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

"I SAID, TAKE IT BACK!" Dawn yells, trying to duck around Xander, who manages to block her.

"Dawn, calm down! She's not worth it. Just ignore her!"

"I won't!" Dawn, red faced, weaves back and forth, trying to feint Xander and duck around him. "Get out of the way, Xander! Move it!" She yells at him.

"DAWN!" Buffy yells, pushing through the crowd and into the ring. "What the HELL are you doing?"

"Shut up, Buffy!" Dawn, turning to her sister, growls. "Go away, this doesn't concern you!"

"The heck it doesn't!" Buffy strides up to her, grabbing her. "What do you think you're doing, anyway? You wanna get expelled for fighting? Snyder said next time he'd expel us. Get outta here!"

"NO, I won't," Dawn pushes her sister away, turning back towards the fight. "Not until that bitch apologizes!" She yells around Xander. "TAKE IT BACK, YOU BITCH!" She starts trying to push Xander out of the way.

"Xander, grab her and get her out of here!" Buffy snaps at Xander, who so far has just been trying to block Dawn. "Go on, do it!"

"Apologize for what?" A voice comes from behind Xander, full of sarcasm and some anger. "I just wanted to know if you're as big a whore as your sister!"

Willow, who's been standing on the sidelines with Oz, pales. She recognizes the voice. She starts in towards Buffy, knowing trouble's coming.

Buffy freezes. Her face goes grim, her eyes slitting and her hands fisting.

"Get her the hell out of here now, Xander," Buffy barks at Xander, who's still struggling with Dawn.

"Let me GO!" Dawn wriggles and punches out, trying to get Xander to release her. "I'm gonna pull that bitch's hair out!"

Buffy, in furious mode, goes over and pushes both of them out of the way. She turns and faces Dawn's tormentor.

"Well, look who showed up, finally," Harmony Kendall, smirking, gives Buffy the once over. "What happened, munchkin? Too afraid to show up at school?"

"Well, Harmony, another brilliant observation from the mentally challenged. Idiot, if I were too afraid to show up, how would I be right in front of you?" Buffy gives her a shove. "What the hell are you saying to my sister, bitch?"

"Buffy, no!" Willow tries to grab her arm.

"Hit her, Buffy!" Dawn yells from the sidelines. "She called you a … MMMMPPHH!"

Dawn is cut off by Xander, who places his hand over her mouth.

"Xander!" Buffy turns toward them. "I told you to get her the hell out of here!"

Harmony, seeing Buffy turn away, sees her chance. Moving fast, she comes over, trips and shoves Buffy to the ground.

"Aw, what happened, Bleach blonde? You fall down and go.. HEY!"

Willow, losing it seeing Buffy attacked, rushes over and grabs Harmony by the hair, pulling on it hard.

"HEY,YOU LESBO FREAK! LET GO OF ME!" Harmony screams, windmilling her arms trying to hit Willow.

Oz, usually laid back, comes into the ring, trying to grab Willow and pull her away.

Buffy scrambles to her feet, and squares off against Harmony.

"Let her go, Will. I've got this," She says, glaring at the blonde cheerleader.

"Yeah, let go of me, you stupid bitch. I'll punch your lights out!" Harmony yells, still not able to land a blow on Willow.

"But, Buffy, she…"

"Let her go!" Buffy comes over and inserts herself between Harmony and Willow. "Oz, get her out of here! This isn't her fight, it's mine!"

"Buffy, no! I …"

"Oz, get her OUT OF HERE!"

"Yeah, get outta here, Queer-o Rosenberg. You might miss Ellen!" Harmony sneers, "stupid hair puller! That's so cheating!"

"Shut up, Cow brain," Buffy turns on her, her face red and angry. "You started this, you stupid Guernsey!" She shoves Harmony, hard. "What's your problem, anyway?" She shoves her again. "Why're you picking on my sister, you stupid cunt!" She hooks her foot around Harmony's ankle, and shoves her hard.

Harmony falls flat on her butt. She glares at Buffy, and starts to get up. Buffy pushes her back with her foot.

"Stay down, butthead!" Buffy glares down at her. " You didn't answer my question."

"Look what you did to my sweater!" Harmony moans, trying to brush Buffy's footprint off her chest. "What is your trauma, anyway?"

"I don't like buffalo butts attacking my sister, moron!" Buffy grabs her hair, giving it a yank. "Maybe you haven't gotten it through that pimple you call a head yet!"

"Quit pulling my HAIR!" Harmony yells, lashing out and hitting Buffy hard on the thigh.

Buffy releases her, grabbing her leg. Harmony scrambles to her feet.

"I wasn't attacking your sister, slutty, if you'd bothered to find out. She was making cracks about Cordelia, and I just asked her if she was as big a slut as her sister!" Harmony smirks at her. "So, is she?"

"You dumb ass bimbo! I'm gonna wipe that sneer of your ugly dogface…"

"Bring it on, Slutty!"

"HARMONY!"

Harmony stops, and getting a guilty look on her face, looks over her shoulder to see Cordelia standing behind her, hands on hips.

Buffy grins tightly, and turns towards Cordelia.

"Can't you keep Bowser here on a short leash, Cordelia? I'm getting tired of having to kick her bubble butt."

"Shut up, Buffy," Cordelia dismisses her. "What's going on here, Harm?"

"She was insulting you…" Harmony whines.

"I so was not, you big fat liar! God already did that. All I'm doing is keeping you from attacking my sister, fido."

"God, Summers. Wherever you go, trouble follows. Why don't you do everyone a favor, and just leave? Nobody wants you around here…"

"You gonna make me, _Chase?_" Buffy turns on her, "Who do you think you are, anyway? You're nothing without your daddy's money, bitch. All you can do is hide behind your guard dog here, making everybody's life miserable. Why don't _you_ do everyone a favor and die?"

Cordelia's face goes white. To blotches of red appear on her cheeks. Her mouth is a gash across her face. She pushes Harmony to the side, and confronts Buffy.

"Hey!" Harmony protests.

"Get lost, Harmony. I'll take care of this."

"But…"

"GET OUTTA HERE!" Cordelia roars at her.

Harmony almost withers in front of her. She turns and retreats, tail planted firmly between her legs.

"Ok, Buffy," Cordelia turns back to Buffy, her tone ice. "So, you wanna throw down with me? You've been looking for this since you came here. C'mon, Slutty." She shoves Buffy, hard. "Here I am. Take me on, bitch."

"It'll be a pleasure, bitch," Buffy squares off, ready to fight.

"Back off, Buffy." A quiet, firm voice comes from behind her. "Get outta here."

"No way," Buffy says over her shoulder. "This is something that I've been needing to do."

"I said, move, Buffy," Willow pushes her aside, going nose to nose with Cordelia. Or maybe, nose to chin, since she's a couple of inches taller.

"Get lost, Rosenberg," Cordelia bumps her, trying to bully her. "This aint your fight."

"Oh, I think it's very much my fight, Cor," Willow stares into her eyes. "I think we've been coming to this place for a long time, don't you? So, _Chase,_ wanna take me on?"

The two young women stand toe to toe, implacable and immovable. The tension between them is thick; both stand rigid, not giving an inch. Both are waiting, watching for the other to blink. Time has no meaning here, a second is like a lifetime. The seconds drag on.

Cordelia blinks.

Backing off an inch, she hawks and spits, right in Willow's face.

"I won't lower myself to deal with trash," She says, her words braver than her demeanor. Turning, she walks away, throwing a parting shot over her shoulder. "Get bent, queer bait."

Holding herself rigidly, she pushes through the crowd and disappears.

Willow stands tall and straight for a moment, savoring her victory. Then her arm comes up, and she wipes Cordelia's spittle off her face. She turns to see the crowd staring at her, silently and in awe.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She yells at them, furiously. "Don't you have anywhere else to be?"

The crowd shifts silently, almost embarrassedly. Then slowly, it breaks up, moving off in small groups and singly.

They all sense something has changed. Something has shifted. They need time to figure it out, process it.

Finally, only Buffy, Oz, Dawn and Xander are left. They stand apart, each looking at her with new eyes.

"What?" Willow says, nervous under their intense gaze. "Did I like grow a third eye or something?" She starts towards them, when suddenly she feels lightheaded. Dangerously lightheaded. And breathing is definitely an issue. She can't seem to get a breath.

"Oh, crap," She mutters, as her legs give out and she sits down hard on her butt.

Harmony stands by her locker, fuming.

She feels angry and humiliated. The longer she waits for Cordelia, the more her anger winds up.

_What is her problem? Why can't she ever just … just respect me? I had it under control, I knew what I was doing! God, for once, just for once, I wish she'd treat me like something other than the mat to wipe her feet on. What does she want? I do everything she asks, I stand by her, I comfort her when she's down, what more can I do? But it's not enough, it's NEVER enough! She just keeps treating me like dirt! _

_Well, that's over! As of now, I'm not being treated like some second class dog! No way! NO WAY! I've… I've got rights too, you know! I deserve to be treated like … well, better than SHE treats me, anyway! Yeah, oh yeah! That's it! I'm telling her. Oh yeah, you can count on it. Watch out, Cordelia Chase, Harmony's coming into her own, and you're gonna start treating me right or… _

"HARMONY!"

Harmony almost jumps out of her skin as she sees Cordelia bearing down on her like a guided missile. Her defiance, her bravado melts like the morning dew as she realizes that Cordelia is furious. A chill down her spine causes her to shudder, and freezes her into place.

"Cor! Hey did you… OWWWW!"

Cordelia, not even stopping, grabs Harmony by the ear, and drags her along into the girls' restroom.

"Cordelia! Cor! Stop! Please, your hurting me!" Harmony whines, trying to free herself from Cordelia's grip. "Please, baby, please… "

Cordelia, furious, releases Harmony's ear and grabbing her, slams her into a wall. She pins her to the wall, and presses against her, shoving her face just inches from her lackey's.

"Cor…" Harmony whimpers, scared out of her wits.

"You stupid bitch! What is your problem?" Cordelia, red faced, yells at the quivering girl. "Answer me! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!"

"Cor… w-what d-did I d-do?" Harmony stutters, her heart hammering in her chest. She can't ever remember Cordelia being this angry before.

"W-What d-did I d-do!" Cordelia mocks her, slamming her thigh hard between Harmony's legs. "God, you're so retarded you can't even see the trouble you've caused!" She slams Harmony again.

Harmony moans in pain, and starts to shudder visibly. All of a sudden, she's realizing that she may not make it out of this bathroom on her feet. She just stares at Cordelia like a scared rabbit, afraid to breathe, much less speak.

"You … why did you do it? Why did you pick a fight with Buffy today, of all days? Goddamn you! Are you congenitally stupid? Is this a genetic thing with you? After all the work we put into humiliating her? You couldn't just lay back and let it happen? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO FIGHT WITH HER TODAY, YOU SPINELESS TOADY?"

Harmony, never very good at defending herself, can't think straight.

"I… I… she… they were… "

"BITCH!" Cordelia hauls back, and slaps her hard across the face.

Harmony is in shock. Cordelia has never slapped her before, ever. Never across the face. It's not the pain that hurts so much, though that is pretty bad. It's the utter contempt and disgust she reads on Cordelia's face.

Harmony stares at her stupidly. Tears roll down her face. She doesn't make a sound.

"Idiot!" Cordelia slaps her again. "Moron!" And again. "Do you know what you've done?" she hits her again. "You've ruined everything, everything!" She slaps her a couple more times.

Harmony, speechless, just stares as slap after slap crosses her face. She is beyond speech, beyond feeling. She simply leans on the wall, taking the punishment. Her knees give out on her, and she starts to slide down, moaning softly.

Cordelia is beyond reason, beyond sanity. Seeing Harmony, all she sees is her lifetime of frustrations, pain and rejection bundled into one neat little package. She starts slapping and kicking at the girl, not thinking, not doing anything but letting out all the years of pent up rage.

Harmony rolls into a ball, instinctively, to protect herself. She shivers and moans, unable to defend herself against the onslaught.

"Cor…please… stop…" Harmony finally gasps, her whole body aching from the abuse. "Please…I'm sorry… I'm sooo sorry…"

Something snaps inside Cordelia, and suddenly she sees herself, in her father's office, withering under his abuse.

"Please, daddy," she cries, rolling to a ball as Avery Chase beats and kicks at her. "I'm sorry, daddy. I didn't mean to do it, daddy… please…"

And as suddenly as it came on, the insanity passes. Cordelia stops, and looks at Harmony, rolled in a ball on the floor, moaning and babbling over and over "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

Cordelia backs away, horrified. One step back; then another and yet another. She hears a low, gut wrenching moan. It takes a second to realize it's coming from her.

"Harm… Harmony. Oh … god… Oh god…I… I'm so.. I'm sooo…"

A wave of self loathing and disgust washes over her, followed by a stronger wave of nausea. Clutching her stomach, she turns and runs into one of the stalls, throwing up the contents of her stomach.

Retching, her stomach trying to come out of her via her throat, Cordelia has a bone chilling epiphany.

She's no better than her Father. Not one bit better.

Worse, she's become her father, abusing the one person that's never, ever hurt her.

At that moment, Cordelia Chase wishes she could die.

Harmony, slowly realizing the kicking has stopped, slowly, painfully pushes herself up, leaning heavily on her arms. She hears Cordelia vomiting in the stall not far away.

Shivering and shaking, she pushes herself onto her feet. Everything hurts, but she somehow manages to make her way to the toilet. She looks down, seeing Cordelia kneeling there, hanging over the bowl.

"Cor…" Harmony whispers. Even talking hurts.

Cordelia turns and looks up at Harmony, and realizing how badly she's hurt her, how insane she's become, starts to cry. A cry that comes from the deepest part of her soul.

"Oh… god, Harmony… what … what did I do to you? What have I done? Oh god…." She scrambles back, afraid of herself and the retribution from Harmony she knows she deserves. She huddles in a corner by the toilet, her knees to her chest, vomit coating her lips and chin. She stares, wide eyed and frightened, shaking and shivering. Her eyes are flooding tears, and she lets out a low, sorrowful moan.

"Harm…I'm so sorry…I'm a monster… I'm a MONSTER… Just like… him… a monster… so sorry…so sorry…" She babbles. She starts to keen, the pain in her heart so fierce, she feels she's going to die. "Forgive me, I'm so, so sorry… so sorry…" She lowers her head, her whole body shaking as she gives into her grief.

Harmony stands there, looking down at her. She holds onto the doorjamb, so shaky she's afraid she'll fall down. She shakes her head.

She should walk away. She's seen a side of Cordelia she's never seen before. A side that frightens her, scares her beyond anything that's scared her before. She knows if she stays here, she might be exposed to it again.

She should walk away. Leave Cordelia in her tears and vomit, Queen of nothing at all. That's what she should do.

Instead, she lowers herself down, slowly because she really, really hurts. She crawls over to Cordelia, and does her best to comfort her. Not able to take her in her arms, she settles for wrapping her arms around her legs, laying her head on her knees. She hurts; the smell of Cordelia's vomit makes her sick, and she doesn't care.

Cordelia's hurt, and all she can think of is comforting her. Making it better.

"It's ok now, Cor," Harmony croaks, "it's gonna be ok. I won't let him hurt you no more. I promise, baby. I promise."

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!"

Dawn fusses around Willow, kneeling by her and feeling her forehead. The look on her face is priceless; worry mixed with remorse.

"Are you ok?" Dawn fusses, looking at her eyes and taking her pulse. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! This is all my fault… all my fault!"

Willow doesn't answer. She puts up her hand, warding off talking. She's finding it hard to get her breath. She squats there, panting and looking weak.

"Dawn," Xander tries to drag her away, "Willow will be fine. She's tough. Believe me!"

Unfortunately, she doesn't. She pulls away from Xander and starts to rub Willow's back.

"Stupid, stupid, I'm so stupid!" Dawn moans, "I shouldn't have done it. I should've ignored her!" Dawn says, still beating herself with the guilty stick. "but she was just saying such mean things, I couldn't. I'm an idiot, a dope! I shouldn't have picked a fight with her…"

"Aw, it's ok, Dawnie," Willow croaks, still a little breathless. But her breathing is getting back to normal, like the beating of her heart. She looks around at the four worried faces staring at her. "hey, I'm ok, really guys. I just… I dunno, guess I got an anxiety attack or something. Not everyday I do that, you know." She grins to reassure her friends.

"We thought you were gonna faint," Oz says, getting right to the point.

"Naw… I'm ok" Willow says, trying to stand up. She gets halfway up, then changes her mind. "No, wait, I think I'll sit here a little longer." She puts her head in her hands. "Still a little woozy."

"Hey, you ok?" Xander ask, worriedly. "I can go get the nurse if you want…"

"Xander, don't be an idiot. I just had a panic attack. No big, really. Geeze …" Willow shakes her head. "So, did I win?" She feels a bit of wetness on her face, and realizes that shed didn't quite get all of Cordelia's spittle off. She wipes her face again. "Eeew. Whoever figured Cordelia was part camel. Yuck!"

"Oh man, you were…" Xander begins.

"Awesome, totally awesome." Dawn finishes.

"So cute," She says to no one in particular. "They even finish each other sentences. I think I could be sick."

Everyone chuckles, with Xander and Dawn blushing a little.

"Hey… you were…" Oz gives her the thumbs up.

"High praise indeed," Willow grins.

"You crushed her," Buffy says. "You were… magnificent!"

Before Willow can stop her, she leans in and pecks Willow on the lips. She mouths "Thank you" to her.

"Wow!" Willow beams. "I musta done good. I even got a kiss from the princess!"

More laughter, with Buffy blushing this time.

"So, can I get a help up, you think?" Willow puts out her arms.

Xander and Oz help Willow to her feet, and she brushes herself off.

"Well, that was embarrassing," She comments, slapping loose grass from her jeans. "Slay the Queen, and faint. I don't think they'll be writing heroic poetry about that."

"You did it, Will," Xander says, a new note of respect in his voice. "you stood up to her, and made her back down. You're…"

"Awesome," Again, Dawn finishes, to more laughter.

Willow stands for a moment, basking in the praise. Then she remembers looking into Cordelia's eyes. She remembers not seeing hate in there, or even dislike. She remembers pain. Lots of pain… and fear. Suddenly, she doesn't feel so strong anymore.

Xander in his exuberance, raises his arms over his head. He starts to do the Rocky dance.

"The queen bitch is dead! Long live Willow! New queen of Sunnydale high!"

The others applaud and cheer. Willow, however, frowns.

"Hey guys, knock it off, ok?" Willow shrugs, and starts towards the cafeteria. "Let's just forget it, ok? I hope they're still open, I'm starved!"

"C'mon, Will," Xander catches up with her, followed by Dawn. "You bested her. You put her in her place. Enjoy your reign, ok? I could be your prince consort!"

"Yeah, oh yeah!" Dawn crows, following along. "And I'll be like your lady in waiting, ok?"

"Guys, leave it alone. Let her be," Buffy says, starting to glimmer on the truth. "Let's do lunch before there isn't any lunch to do."

"Well said, milady," Oz flashes a rare grin. He's getting it too.

"No, no way. Willow earned this. She stood up to the wicked old bitch, and she should be able to bask in her Royal Willowness." Xander looks at the others.

"Oh, for god's sake, Xander," Willow turns around. Her expression is far from happy. "It hurts to be humiliated, you know? I thought you'd get that!"

Shaking her head, disgusted, she turns and bolts into the cafeteria.

"What's with her?" Xander says, totally confused.

"Who knows?" Dawn shrugs.

"You guys just don't get it, do you?" Buffy looks at them and shakes her head. She runs in after Willow.

"Ok, what's with _her_ now?" Xander is growing more and more confused. "I swear, I'll never figure them out. The womens, I mean … well, not you," He adds, seeing Dawn's expression.

"Uh… I'm with her…" Oz points at where Buffy disappears, and follows.

"Ok, that's it. They're all nuts," Xander says, shaking his head. "I swear, I just don't get it. Will did something good. No, she did something great. And everyone's acting like it's a tragedy. I just don't get it," He repeats, sighing.

"Oh, well… who can figure them out, anyway?" Dawn says, leaning in. "I'll be your queen, my prince."

Xander smiles. "You know? I kinda like that better, anyway." He waves at the cafeteria. "Lunch, your majesty?"

"Absolutely, my prince," Dawn beams.

Laughing, they enter the cafeteria.

Buffy and Oz find Willow sitting alone in a corner table. There is no food in front of her, only an empty table that seems to be fascinating her. She doesn't take her eyes off it, anyway.

"I didn't want to do it," Willow says, sensing rather than seeing them. "I didn't want to do that to her. I didn't mean for it to go down like that. Not really…" She looks up, and her eyes are blinking rapidly. "But I couldn't let her keep doing that, could I? I had to stop it, didn't I?"

"Will, you didn't do anything wrong," Oz says, sitting down beside her. "She had it coming."

Buffy doesn't say anything. She just sits next to Willow, holding her hand.

"She'll be ok," Willow sounds like she's trying to convince herself, more than Buffy or Oz. "She's tough. She'll be ok." She nods to herself.

But somehow, she can't quite make herself believe that.

3

"Bastard!"

Hank Summers stares at the financial section of the Sunnydale Herald. The headline reads:

**_Chase Holdings, Inc. Makes bid on Tech Firm Summerland Holdings._**

_Bid, my ass,_ Hank thinks, staring at the story. As he reads on, he grows angrier and angrier. _That fucking prick stole my company, and now he's gone to my erstwhile partners and made an offer. A nice, juicy offer that should belong to me! Goddamn him!_

"Bastard," Hank repeats, throwing the paper across the room. It hits a vase on the table, knocking it off. It crashes to the floor.

"Hey, what happened?" A tallish dark haired woman emerges from the kitchen, carrying a drink. "You ok?"

Jenny Calendar, substitute teacher, Vassar graduate and ex-party girl, walks into the living room of Hank's apartment. She's only wearing a robe she borrowed from Hank. She sits on the sofa.

"Yeah, I fine," Hank growls, going over and trying to pick up chards scattered on the floor. "Just really, really pissed off right now!"

"Hey, chill out, Hank," Jenny teases him. "I think you killed it pretty good. I don't think that vase'll be bugging you or anyone else ever again."

"The bastard stole my company!" Hank complains, not getting the joke. He squats and picks up the piece. "Just stole it from me, easy as you please! Prick!"

Jenny catches a glimpse of Hanks formerly athletic body gone to seed, and shakes her head. _ What the fuck was I thinking, anyway? Geeze, musta been a really slow night last night. I didn't come here for the ambience, that's for sure._ She looks around at the nondescript, messy room._ I really gotta watch what I'm drinking._

She's been teaching the computer science class at Buffy's school, substituting for the regular teacher who was out on extended leave. She'd seen Hank come by a number of times and pick up Buffy after school, and really thought nothing of it.

But she'd found him last night, drowning his sorrows in one of her regular haunts, and she'd sat down. They'd talked, the drinks kept coming, and finally she'd gotten tipsy enough that Hank had looked pretty good.

The sex had been ok, but nothing special. In the light of day, she realized that Hank certainly wasn't her usual type. Not even close. _God, I really gotta get the drinking under control!_

"What're you talking about?" Jenny asks, not really caring, but trying to figure a graceful way to get the hell out of here.

"The bastard… this bastard!" Hank, retrieving the paper, brings it over and flings it at her on the sofa. " Avery Chase, prick deluxe. Stole my company from me!"

Jenny looks at the paper with bloodshot and slightly bleary eyes, and seeing the picture of Avery, grins slightly. _Oh yeah, I remember him. The Kinkmaster General. A little too ready with the whip for my tastes, though man, could he… mmmm… maybe I should look him up. I didn't realize he was loaded…_

"Never seen him before," Jenny lies, looking at Hank. "So, you own a company?"

"Owned. That prick stole it. Went behind my back to my partners, and those pricks sold me out. Dammit, they cheated me out of my fair share of all my fucking hard work."

"Can they do that?" Jenny asks, " is that legal?"

"Oh, they did it. The made up some phony charges about me, making me look bad. I wanted to fight them, but I couldn't afford lawyers fees. Damned sharks. Now I'm out, and they cheated me. God, I'd like to get my hands on them…"

"Yeah, I know that is. I've had some problems with that kinda crap in the past," Jenny thinks back about her own checkered past, and some scandals involving some of her students. Which is why she's in Sunnydale, as a substitute teacher. Rather the last resort for someone like her_…_

She takes a healthy swallow of the Jack Daniels in her glass, and gives Hank an appraising look. _Obviously he was fine at one time, but that's long past… still, he's probably a player… who would've figured that? Looks like a suburban jock gone to seed. Guess he figures he's got something to prove… just like guys…_ She shakes her head. _Still, it takes all kinds. _

Jenny gets up, and starts towards the bedroom. Hank follows her with his eyes.

"Like you're thinking," he says, standing up. "Ready for another go 'round, babe?" He grins lasciviously.

"Sorry, but I've really got to go. Got to go home and change before school. Doesn't look good if the teacher's late, you know." She disappears through the doorway.

Hank follows her in, and sees her standing, back to him. She's shed the robe and is pulling on her underwear. He sneaks up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He presses up against her, moving his hands up to cup her breasts.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Jenny chuckles, pulling away a little. "I told you I have to go."

"Mmm. You gotta nice ass," Hank breathes in her ear. "Nice tits, too." He squeezes them for emphasis.

"Aw, you're such a sweet talker, aren't you?" Jenny says, mockingly. She firmly grabs his hands, and removes them from her breasts. "Sorry, but I gotta run. Got stuff to do this morning." She pulls away, walking around the bed and picking up more of her clothing.

"Aw, c'mon," Hank says, all sweetness and light. "don't go yet. Can't it wait for awhile?" He moves over to her, grabbing her arm. "Just a quickie. Whattya say?"

"Sorry, love, I don't do quickies. I only like slowies. Nice and long and slow." She starts to wiggle into her jeans. "Maybe another time." _ If I'm dead drunk, maybe. Or just dead._

"Don't be that way," He says, his voice getting a slight edge. He grabs her arm again. "You got me all hot and horny now. Don't go… stay."

"I said no, Hank," Jenny's voice grows firm as she shrugs him off and, moving around him, struggles to get into her jeans. "Look, we had fun last night, but that was last night. Now, I really gotta go." She shrugs into her bra, fastens it, and then slips on her blouse.

"You're gonna go? Just leave me like this?" His voice grows low. Very low.

"Pretty much. Sorry, but hey…" She shrugs. "That's life, bud." She buttons up her blouse.

"No way, bitch!" Hank suddenly crosses to her, grabbing her arm hard. "You'll go when I say you go… not before. I'm not done with you yet!" turning her around, he starts shoving her towards the bed. "I'm tired of you bitches always deciding when and where stuff's gonna happen. Real tired." He pushes her down on the bed. "Now, let's get these pants off, cuz daddy isn't done with you yet!" He lets go of her arm, and starts to pull at her jeans.

Jenny, having been here before, deliberately relaxes herself, knowing that he's going to have to let her go sometime, because she's not going to undo her jeans. As soon as her arm is free, she kicks out, hitting him in the most vulnerable of places.

"FUUUUCKKK!" Hanks screams, staggering back and grabbing his balls. He bends over in pain. "You fucking…"

"Shut up, you old fat bastard!" Jenny yells at him. Grabbing her purse, she pulls out what looks like a gun. She goes over, and pushes the Taser into his neck. Triggering it, 10,000 volts go through Hank, causing him to drop to the ground and flop around like a fish out of water.

"You think you're the first guy to fuck with me, fatso?" She kicks him in the ribs. " Get real. Hope your dick swells up and falls off!"

Grabbing her coat and shoes, she heads for the door. She stops, and turns around.

"By the way, Hank? You stink in bed!"

She exits the apartment, slamming the door after her.

_Fucking cunt! Just like all of them. Use you, spend your money, and then throw you away like garbage… owww fuck my nuts hurt!_

Still wriggling from the Taser, he carefully cups the family jewels, to prevent further damage.

_Stupid lousy bitches. All of them, the fucking lot of them! _ He groans, his body feeling like it went 20 rounds with a rabid Mike Tyson. _Especially my so called wife. What a fucking ice queen! If she'd been any kind of woman, I wouldn't have had to go out looking for a little loving… aw, shit…_ he starts convulsing again. _ Bitch. Stupid lesbo bitch! I shoulda known it, she's such a fucking FrigidAire! Now that slut wants child support, too! 5000 bucks a month! What the fuck does she think I'm made of?_

He thinks about the 'settlement' check Avery gave him, and his mood turns even sourer.

_I know she had something to do with that. I know it. She must've. How'd he get a clue, otherwise. Nope. Joycie, good old hag bitch ex-wife of mine sure as shit had something to do with good old Avery getting that dirt on me. She screwed me! Bitch, can't screw me in bed, but can screw me every fucking other place! Screwed me out of my rightful share of the business… that cunt sucking carpet munching hag!_

Hank, his anger rising and his tremors decreasing, sits up, staring out the window.

_Well, bitch, better enjoy it while you can. Cuz old Hank? He's done playing your games. Yessiree, Hank's getting a whole new attitude, baby, and then you better watch out. Cuz, Daddy's coming home, and when he does…? _

Hank smiles grimly, and stands up.

"Daddy's gonna straighten everything out to his liking."

4

"It was HUGE!"

Buffy and Willow are walking along the path towards the school gate. School is out, and both, for different reasons are anxious to be anywhere but here.

Still, at least on Buffy's part, there's a reluctance to go. She's worried about her friend. Ever since the incident at lunch, she's been quiet and moody. Even in the computer lab, her favorite class, she only participated half heartedly.

_I knew she had a thing for Cordelia, but I never realized it was this serious…_

Buffy has made it her mission to cheer her up, telling her funny stories, usually with herself as the butt of the joke, trying to keep things light. She's in the middle of one right now.

"Huge?" Willow looks skeptical. "C'mon Buffy, how big can it be?"

" I swear, it was this long…" Buffy holds her hands about 12 inches apart, "… and this wide." She makes a circle using both hands, finger tip to finger tip.

"Ok, Buffy, now I know you're lying. There's no way!" Willow shakes her head.

"Way! So way!" Buffy insists. "I had to use both hands to hold it!"

"You're making this up!" Willow makes a noise.

"Ok, if you don't believe me, ask Dawn. She was there!"

"You know I can't ask Dawn. She and Xander are off making out or something."

"Well, not now, silly. When you see her," Buffy makes a face. "Geeze, do you have to gross me out? Thinking about Dawn and Xander… breeding?…"

Both look at each other.

"EEEWWW!"

They both laugh.

"I still don't believe you, Buffy," Willow insists. "You're telling fibs now."

"So am not. I told you, ask Dawn."

"I really don't believe Dawn was there. I mean, she'd be too young…"

"Tell me about it! I didn't want her there, but she insisted…"

"Ok, for a moment, let's say I believe you. He said you had to eat it?"

"Oh yeah, the whole thing. If I didn't, I couldn't have it."

"Couldn't you and Dawn share?"

"No WAY! I wanted it all for myself. Dawn could go and get her own, if she wanted it!"

"Buffy, that's just selfish!"

"Hey, never claimed to be Mother Teresa, you know!"

"No kidding!" Willow half grins. "So, what happened? Did you eat it?"

"Well, no…" Buffy blushes a little. "C'mon, I was like 6 years old. Who could eat a quadruple ice cream cone, much less a 6 year old kid?"

"I dunno, piglet. I mean, you're eating for two now, you know…" Willow pats Buffy's belly, and giggles.

"Gee, Will, " Buffy grouses. "Why not just shout it out? Then everyone'll know I'm a total slut."

"Hey… Sorry?" Willow shrugs and looks apologetic.

"It's ok, just… really kinda keeping it QT as long as we can, ok?"

" 'K, Buff."

"Though, now that you mention it, a big old chocolate ice cream cone sounds mighty fine…"

"Oh my god, she's started the cravings!"

"Hey, you said it yourself, I'm eating for two now…"

"Ok, never mind about that… " Willow leans in closer. "What about that ice cream cone?"

"Well, anyway, my daddy buys it for me after I have a major fit. Mom of course accuses him of spoiling me, but I didn't care. I got the cone!"

"You are a brat, I gotta say…" Willow teases her.

"Brattiest of brats!" Buffy agrees. "So, anyway, I got the cone. I'm walking along, and licking it of course, because well, that's what you do. And the squirt, aka Dawn, is bugging me for a lick. Bugging me and bugging me. I mean, when Dawn sets her mind to it? She can drive you crazy bugging you…"

"I'll have to take your word on that…" Willow nods. "Though, I gotta admit, when she wants something, she can be pretty darned determined…"_ Kind of like you, Buffy._

"Or ask Xander… no, wait. He wouldn't tell the truth… not if he ever wanted any peace."

Again, they share a laugh.

"So, anyway, Dawn is bugging me about giving her a lick, and of course, I don't want her cooties on my cone, so I'm holding it away from her. And it's so big, I'm really having to keep a good eye on it. And of course, I'm not watching where I'm going, and somehow, my foot got tangled in a wire crossing the path… and its at that moment Dawn makes a lunge for my cone, and I'm holding it away from her and I'm all unbalanced, and so … Boom, over I go."

"Aw, poor Buffy…" Willow mocks sympathy.

"It gets worse. I don't drop it like any normal kid, of course, in front of me and away, where it won't do any damage. Oh, no, not Buffy. I manage to trip and fall right smack square in the middle of it."

"Oh, no…" Willow starts to giggle, imagining it.

"Oh, yeah. Good old Buffy, in her best dress because we'd come straight from church to the fair, and boom, I'm covered with chocolate ice cream from my hair to my navel. That dress… well, it was ruined. And of course, my favorite at the time…"

"Ok, Buff. You convinced me. You're the all time klutz champion. I cede my title to you!"

Willow, almost despite herself, starts laughing. Buffy joins her, and they make their way to the school gate, both laughing their heads off.

"Hey, guys. What's so funny?" Oz is standing by the gate, waiting for Buffy and Willow. He smiles, a little confused at their hilarity.

They look at him, then at each other, and start laughing harder.

Oz, in his typical 'everything's cool' manner, just waits for them to be finished.

"Buffy…" Willow gasps out

"I was…" Buffy gasps out.

"Talking… about eating…"

"… an ice cream cone!"

They go off on another round of laughter. Oz, infected by it, smiles… for him, nearest he comes to a belly laugh.

"An ice cream cone?" he asks, a little confused.

"You… you had to .. .be there…" Buffy giggles, starting to settle down.

"Yeah… it's not _that_ funny…" Willow agrees, also settling down.

"Hey, you liked it!"

"I just liked the image of you covered in chocolate ice cream!" Willow starts to laugh again, and Buffy joins her.

Oz, ever cool and patient, just arches a brow and waits for the giggle twins to subside.

"Hey, guys, I gotta go," Willow says, her tummy hurting from laughing. "I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

"Hey, we'll come with," Buffy says, "Won't we, Oz?"

"Oh yeah. I mean, when do I get to be with both my favorite women at the same time?"

"Ok, guys," Willow gives them a look. "I know what this is. You're worried about me, and that's sweet. But I'm fine, ok? I don't need to be walked home like a kid."

"Hey, you're not liking our company?" Buffy says, pretending to be offended. "Gee, now that's she's totally popular, she doesn't want to be seen with us anymore, I guess."

"Popular?"

"Oh yeah, I swear. At least… what? 20, 30 kids came up to her, just wanting to touch the hem of her coat. Some even spoke, in hushed tones." Buffy teases.

"Really?" Oz looks amused. Well, for him, anyway.

"Buffy, you're such a liar. A couple of kids came up and said good work on putting Cordelia in her place. Really, it's not a big."

"Don't believe her, she's lying. We had crowds following us. They all wanted to be near the anointed one that faced down Cordelia and lived. I wanted to charge admission, and get rich, but Ms. Popularity here wouldn't hear of it!"

"Buffy, stop it!" Willow's tone is abrupt and edgy. "I really don't want to think about it anymore, ok?"

"Ok," Buffy says quietly. "Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," Willow softens. "I know you're just trying to make things better, Buffy. But really, I'm fine. I don't need an escort home, ok?"

"You're sure?" Buffy asks.

"We'd love to walk with a living legend," Oz deadpans.

"More funny Buffy stories. I got a ton of them!"

"You goofs, I'm fine, really, ok?" Willow gives them each a kiss on the cheek. "Now, scoot. You know you want to be alone together, making with the heavy petting and kissage and stuff…"

"Willow!" Buffy blushes, a nice shade of pink. "We're just friends…"

"We are?" Oz looks confused. "Who was that blond I was kissing backstage the other day then?"

"Stop it!" Buffy squeals, but then gives him a little kiss. "Ok, maybe kissing friends."

"Uh-huh… now get lost, ok?"

"Ok, your loss…" Buffy turns to Oz. "She kissed us, on the cheek. You know what that means, don't you?" She asks, as they start off.

"Means?"

"Oh yeah. We've been blessed by the anointed one. We can never, ever wash those cheeks again."

"Ohhhh."

"You two," Willow mutters to herself, but she can't help smiling. She smiles even broader when a little ways down the block, their hands reach out and seem to find each other without either looking. "Just friends. Oh yeah…"

"Aint they too sweet? I know I need an insulin shot."

Willow almost jumps out of her skin, and turns to see Faith looking at her, smirking.

"Geeze! Stalker, much? God, are you trying to kill me? Make some noise when you're sneaking up on someone!" Willow scolds her, frowning.

"Well, if that's all it takes…" Faith snaps back.

"What're you doing here, anyway? Buffy…" Willow points down the block. "Is there. If you run, you might catch up with them…" She looks at Faith's outfit. "Well, if you can run in that."

"Ha! You're funny, real funny," Faith doesn't sound amused. "I'm not here to see Buffy, anyway. I'm here to see you…"

"Oh, is that right?" Willow holds up her hands. "Well, you saw me. So, I'd love to say it was nice seeing you, but my mom told me never to lie… so, seeya…not…" Willow walks around Faith, and starts up the street.

"God, whatta …" Faith turns, and follows her. "Wait, wait up, ok?"

"And why would I want to do that?" Willow continues on, not stopping.

"Geeze, don't' be such a…"

"What?"

"…witch, ok? I'm just wanting to talk to you!"

Willow stops, and turns around. She's smirking now. "Why didn't you say you wanted to talk? Ok, let's talk." She leans against the school fence, looking at Faith. "So whatcha wanna talk about? Global Warming? The deficit? Hey, how about those 49'ers, eh?"

"Damn!" Faith growls, "Are you always this nasty, or is it just me?"

"It's just you!" Willow says, " So, nice chatting with you. Gotta do this again, not!" Turning, she starts to walk away.

"Dammit, stop it!" Faith, losing patience, passes her and blocks her way.

"Move, please," Willow says, not at all politely.

"No, I won't. I need to talk to you, and I need you to talk to me, so stop acting like you got a board up your ass and talk to me!"

"And if I don't, what? You'll punch me?"

Faith closes her eyes, trying to keep her temper. She moves out of the way, gesturing broadly.

"Fine, go ahead and go."

"Thank you!" Willow passes her, trying to ignore her.

"I just thought you were Buffy's friend, and would want to help. My bad. Sorry."

"Buffy?" Willow stops, and looks over her shoulder. "What's this got to do with Buffy?"

"Just, I'm trying to help her, and I thought you'd want to help her too."

"Help her? Help her what? Drop outta school, become a moron…?"

"Listen, bright eyes. I graduated High school, ok? I'm going to college, so can it!"

"Well, good for you!" Willow frowns. "What does this got to do with Buffy?"

"Well, maybe if you'd dial down the sarcasm, I could tell you!"

Willow sighs. "I'm sorry. Ok, how can I help?"

Faith lets out a breath. "Look, Buffy told me you know. About her…condition."

"Condition?" Willow looks at Faith warily. "What condition?"

"C'mon, don't play dumb…" Faith lowers her voice. "Buffy. She's pregnant. She told you, right?" She looks at Willow funny. "She said she told you. Did she?"

Willow seems to slump a little, the tension draining out of her. "She told you?"

"Yeah she did. That's why she was late. I took her to the doctor to confirm it."

"Oh"

"Yeah, though she's not gonna be able to keep it a secret much longer. She's 10 weeks pregnant."

"10 weeks! That much? She… she didn't tell me that!"

"She's not real forthcoming with the info, I agree. I only know because I was there when the doctor asked her how long it's been since she had a visit from her Aunt Flo …"

Willow makes a face. "Her Aunt flo? Oh geeze, just say it. Since she had her last period!"

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, Buffy told her it was over 10 weeks. God…"

"Damn," Willow shakes her head. She looks at Faith. "So, what can I do?"

"Well the thing is? I've almost got her convinced to tell her mom…"

"Really? Oh thank god! I've been trying to get her to do that…"

"Yeah, well, she's not gonna be able to not tell her a lot longer. But, she's also not naming names. Know what I mean?"

"You mean the creep who knocked her up? Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I've been trying to get her to talk, dropping hints… damn, I've been dropping anvils. But she just dances around them like a pixie." Willow lets out a huge sigh, "God, she's not going to fool anyone into thinking it's a virgin birth. That supposedly only happened once, and frankly, I don't even believe in that one!"

"Look, you her pal. You hang with her a lot, right? Maybe you know who's she's been seeing… I mean…there's that guy she's with…"

"Oz? No, no way! They've only known each other a couple of weeks. No way he could've made her pregnant. Anyway, he's a stand up guy. He wouldn't…"

"Ok, ok. I get it. No way he could be daddy, anyway… no, it's gotta be a ten weeks ago, at least…"

"Whoa… whoa!" Willow exclaims. "That party…at the frat house… do you think maybe…?"

"No, I don't think so. I mean, I got there before anything happened, I'm pretty sure. And anyway, still not long enough… No, it's gotta be before that. Was she hanging around with anyone before that?"

"I don't think so, I mean… Oh crap!"

"Huh? Oh crap?"

"Brad Johnson!"

Who? Who's Brad Johnson?"

"Brad Johnson. Star basketball player, all around jock. Total jerk! "

"Ok, sounds promising…"

"Well, they were 'together' kinda, for a couple of weeks. And this would be just about the right time… but Buffy said they never…"

"Yeah, well, Buffy might be lying, you know? To protect him…"

"Don't know why. He was only using Buffy to get close to another girl on the cheerleading squad."

"Well, he's a guy. They're known for that. And frankly, that's doesn't disqualify him. They might have done it, and Buffy doesn't want to admit it because well… she's embarrassed about it. Wouldn't be the first girl to get pregnant with a guy and claim she never slept with him."

"It's gotta be him. I mean, I haven't even seen her with a guy before Oz…"

"Ok, then. It's gotta be Brad. So, where can we get ahold of this jerk?"

"Well, it's basketball season. He might be at practice..."

"Oh, yeah? Well, where's practice?"

"Ummm… in the gym…" Willow hesitates.

"What?"

"You're not planning on confronting him, are you?"

"Well, duh. Yeah. Hoping you'd come along with."

"That might not be a good idea…"

"Hey, if Jerk boy is the father of Buffy's baby, well, damn, he's gonna own up and take responsibility. I mean, I'm not gonna let him get away with ruining Buffy's life for some quickie behind the gym…"

"Hey, on your side here. Just, it's Brad Johnson…"

"So what? I don't care if it's Brad Pitt. If that asshole is responsible…"

"Faith, have you ever _seen_ Brad Johnson?"

"Oh yeah, I hang out at high school, drooling over the jocks. Please, give me a break…"

Willow sighs. "What I mean is, Brad Johnson's not your typical high school jock. He's as tall as a redwood, and nearly as thick. He's lean, being a basketball player, but it's all muscle. Solid muscle. Some say he can bench press 350 pounds. You really want to go up against that with …well, face it, no proof?"

"Proof? What do I need, pictures?"

"No, but maybe, if you can get Buffy to tell her mom…"

"Hold up right there. I'm hoping she will, and she's close to, but as for naming the father? She's stubborn as granite on that one!"

"Still, maybe Joyce can…"

"Look, Willow. She's not gonna give it up, ok? We gotta get this bozo to confess …"

"Faith, what if he denies it…?"

"Well, duh, I expect that… "

"Yeah, but remember? Mountain of muscles here… what you gonna do to get him to confess it? What if he gets tough…?"

"Oh…" Faith frowns. "Well hell, I don't give a rat's ass. If he did it, I'll get him to talk. He aint met tough until he's met Faith McKerrigan. I had four linebacker sized brothers I had to keep in line. How tough can one b-baller be?" Faith starts towards the school gate. Noticing she's alone, she stops. "you coming?" She calls over her shoulder.

"You mean now?" Willow isn't liking this one bit.

"Well, yeah. Coming?"

Willow sighs.

"Coming," She starts to follow Faith.

"I'm gonna regret this. I just know I'm gonna regret this…" She mutters under her breath.

"C'mon, hurry up!" Faith calls out. "I wanna get this over with!"

"I'm coming! Geeze I'm coming!"

Willow runs to catch up with her.

TBC.


	26. Chapter 26

A change of seasons, Part 24

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Primary Pairing Joyce/Faith

Rating: Nc17

A/N:there will be Hetero sex and incest

1

Willow picks herself off the ground, letting out a disgusted breath. She's in the little grass alley separating the gym from the locker rooms, and right now, she's feeling, as she would put it, pretty damned stupid, mister.

Brushing herself off, she turns when she hears a loud commotion, and then the bang as the gym doors burst open. Through the gym doors comes Faith, being 'escorted' by a group of tall basketball types. It doesn't look voluntary.

"Get your big mitts off me, you creeps!" Faith yells, feeling herself being shoved along. "I'm going, I'm… Oooooh crap!"

Faith finds herself flying through the air, courtesy of the Sunnydale High Varsity basketball team. She lands, face first, not all that far from Willow.

"And stay out, bitch!" One of team members, Judd Torgensen, the team captain growled. "We don't like you comin' around hassling our players."

"Well, hey! Maybe I don't like one of you jerks…" But she's talking to air, as the 'boys' have gone back inside, closing the doors behind them. "Yeah, that's right, run you jerks! Think that's gonna stop me! Hell no!" Faith makes as if to start towards the gym again, but Willow steps in front of her. "Hey, move it, Red!"

"Faith, knock it off. It's over," Willow says, not moving a millimeter. "It's over. We tried, but it's over."

"The hell it is," Faith tries to maneuver around Willow, but she moves right along with Faith. "Those overfed, over-muscled jocks gotta learn some respect…"

"And you're gonna teach them? They all stand nearly a foot taller than you do, Faith. Never mind they could probably bench press you without breaking a sweat. Just get over it, ok?"

"Get over it? That… that little twerp pretty much called Buffy a slut… said she'd …" Faith shakes her head, not wanting to repeat the comment. " Just move, ok? I'll take care of it. You might not give a shit but…"

"HEY!" Willow grabs Faith, shaking her. "I so do care! I want to bust that ugly prick in the mouth. But I'm not stupid enough to actually do it. Think I wanna go to jail for assault? Do you? Cuz, you know they're gonna say you started it…" Willow stares into her eye. "And you're an adult. You know what they'll do if you even manage to get a swing in. Just chill!"

For a moment, Faith looks as if she's going to deck Willow and walk right over her to get into the gym. She's all fire and fury. Then she breaks away, and turns away.

"Shit," Faith grumbles, kicking at the grass in frustration. "She doesn't deserve that. She's a pain in the ass , yeah. But she doesn't deserve to be called a slutty cock sucking whore…" She throws an evil glance at the gym, her lip curling. "Stupid, ass-wiping jocks. God, I wish I were in Boston. Get my brother's together and teach those jerks a few life lessons…"

"Well, we're not in Boston, we're here, and pretty much, those jerks are fawned on and spoiled… and you getting all bent isn't gonna help anything, you know? " Willow shakes her head. "You really have to learn to control that temper, Faith. Or maybe you want Joyce to have to visit you in jail?"

"Alright, alright. I'm cool, ok? Not my mom, Red, so just shut up!"

"Fine, what_ever_," Willow says, impatiently. "I didn't want to be here, anyway. Pretty stupid idea…" Willow starts to walk off. "Seeya."

"Well, hey!" Faith hustles to catch up with her. "you didn't think it was so stupid when I told ya about it."

"Yeah I did!"

"You came along…"

"Well, shoot, I wanted to know, you know? I mean if Brad Johnson was Buffy's baby's father… and I kind of expected you not to go all nuclear at the drop of a hat… you wonder why they got pissed? Ever even _hear_ of diplomacy, Faith? Especially when you're dropping a bomb on somebody?"

"The little…ok, not so little… weasel was denying it. What? I'm supposed to serve him tea and cookies?"

"Yeah, cuz yelling at the top of your lungs and calling him names? That worked so well…"

"You could've helped…"

"You were swearing so good on your own. You didn't need my help!" Willow blows out a breath. "You kiss your mom with that mouth?"

"Hey, leave my mom outta this," Faith snaps. "The point is, that prick was calling Buffy names…"

"Well, again, what did you expect? You just bull in there…"

"Ok, Red, you're so fucking smart. Tell me," Faith gets ahead of her, stopping her. "you're so smart. What should we do?"

"Nothing."

"Huh?" Faith frowns," well, that's real proactive there, girl. That's really gonna get it done."

"There's nothing to get done. I believe him."

"You believe that lying, foul mouthed …"

"Foul mouth, yeah. Lying? No…" Willow puts her hands on her hips. "Look, Faith, I know you think you know everything, but you don't. I've known Brad Johnson for a long time. Believe it or not, he can't lie…"

"Oh yeah, sure…" Faith makes a face.

"I'm not kidding. I'm not saying he's an angel, or that he can't say something that's false, but he can't get away with it. He starts to sweat, and stammer… frankly, he's like a 5 year old when it comes to lying. I watched him as you grilled him, and much as I hate to say it, he wasn't lying…"

"Maybe he got better at it…"

Willow just gives her a look.

"Ok, ok. You could've told me, at least."

"I tried. But were you listening… to anything? Not really. No, you had your agenda and your temper and damn you were gonna get him to admit it, even _if_ he didn't do it!" Willow arches a brow. "Stubborn, much?"

"Look, I just wanna find the creep that did this to Buffy. Sorry if I get passionate, but I don't think that Buffy should be stuck being a mom without any help at all, you know? Takes two to make a baby. She made a mistake, but she wasn't the only one… she shouldn't be having to give up her life while some asshole gets off Scot free."

"Maybe she doesn't have to give up her life…"

"What're you talking about. She's gonna have a baby, Willow. Pretty much, that takes up your life for the next oh couple of decades…"

"There are other options…"

"Are you talking abortion?" Faith frowns.

"That's an option…" Willow sees her face. "Look , Faith, whatever you feel about it, it's out there. Buffy has to choose…it's her life."

"That doesn't mean she gets to throw away her baby's life, does it?" Faith shakes her head. "That's wrong… and I think Joyce would agree."

"It's not your choice, nor Joyce's choice. I respect that, and you can tell Buffy whatever you think. But it's her choice to make, Faith. Not yours, not her mom's"

"That doesn't make it right," Faith purses her lips. "Don't even try that moral relativism crapolla on me, ok? Right's right, and wrong's wrong. And abortion is just wrong. Tell me how it's right to end that baby's life, just cause it's inconvenient? How is that a choice? Does the kid get a choice?" Faith looks at her, head cocked. "C'mon, Red, you're so smart. Tell me." She waits for a beat or two. "What's wrong, you got awful quiet all of a sudden. Listen to me. Buffy had sex. She knew the consequences, but she went ahead and did it. So, she has to pay the piper now…"

"That's real rich, coming from you, Faith. So, you ever gonna have a baby you don't plan on having?" Willow stares back at her. "Didn't think so… but tell me, what happens if you get raped? And for some reason, you get pregnant. Still gonna be so 'sanguine' about right and wrong, knowing that's your rapist's child in growing in you? Or, let's just suppose, your father…"

"Whoa up girl!" Faith turns brick red. "Don't even go there! My da would never do something like that…"

"Not saying he would. But what if, Faith? What then? Should you still have the baby? You might, cuz how you believe. And I'd respect that. But it shouldn't be forced on you by someone else. It should be _your_ choice. Not your mom's, or somebody else's. It should be YOURS!"

"Lot's of what ifs or this or that crap. But let's get back to real, can we? Buffy boinked some kid, don't know why, but it happened, and now she's pregnant. Her choice. There's lots of way to keep it from happening, but I guess she just didn't think of that, did she? So, I'm not thinking she got raped, by her dad or anyone else. So, I really don't think killing the kid is the right thing to do. I don't care what you say, I don't, and I won't!"

"I get it, Faith, I really do," Willow puts a hand on her shoulder. "And I'm not all hot on abortion, either. But it's not my choice or yours to make. It's Buffy's, ok? And anyway, that's not the only choice. She could put the baby up for adoption. Lots of couples love to have a baby…"

"Don't think so," Faith shakes her head. "Once Joyce knows about this kid, no way she's gonna let her grandkid be adopted…"

"So, what your saying is Buffy has no choice?"

"Buffy made her choice when she had sex without any protections…"

"Kinda harsh, don't you think? I mean, if Buffy had gotten HIV instead of pregnant, you'd say she had it coming, cuz she made a mistake?"

"Ok, now that's just stupid. Of course not, but if she did, she'd still have to pay the consequences, wouldn't she? Facts wouldn't change, would they? She'd still have the disease…" Faith makes a noise. "We're in fucking Fantasy land again. Buffy's pregnant, she doesn't have AIDS or nothing. This isn't that… and her mom and me will be there for her… help her…"

"Oh, so, you're going to carry the baby for her? Get the morning sickness, and the hemorrhoids and blow up like a balloon, oh and the hormones, and incontinence and the pain? Oh, and having the child? Who's taking that pain? And I guess, well, she just better get used to giving up any dreams she had, because probably she won't be going to college now, or have a career or anything, cuz you think she should 'pay the consequences'. Nice, coming from you."

"What's this 'coming from you' crap?" Faith glares at her. "You're a lesbian too, Willow. You're not having kids unless you choose, so get off your high horse, ok?"

"I'm not forcing Buffy to bend to my beliefs, either, am I?"

"WELL, NEITHER AM I!" Faith yells at her, throwing up her hands, frustrated. "Shit, I mean… shit… goddamn it I know it's her choice, ok? Just, don't expect me not to say what I think cuz I'm gonna! God, would you get off my fucking back, already!" Faith stalks away, angrily. She stands huddled, arms across her chest, turned away.

Willow stands looking at her, a little startled by her vehemence. She walks over, but refrains from touching Faith.

"I'm sorry, I didn't… you really care about her, don't you?"

"Yeah, so?" Faith snaps, not looking at her. Then the tension drains a little from her shoulders. "Look, I'll stand by her, whatever she decides to do, ok? I'll do that, cuz I do care about her. What about you?" She looks over her shoulder. " If she decides to keep the kid, raise it?"

"It's her choice, and I'll … I'll be her friend, no matter what…"

Something in Willow's tone catches Faith's ear. She looks at her out of the corner of her eye.

"Hmmm," is all she says.

"What?" Willow misunderstands. "Hey, I care about Buffy, ok? She's my friend. Of course I'm gonna be there if she needs me!"

"Never said you weren't, Red," A little grin pulls at Faith's mouth. "So, when did you know?"

"Know?" Willow is confused. "About Buffy? Her being pregnant? Not long… not more than a week, maybe…"

"When did you know you'd fallen for her, Red?"

"What?" Willow makes an irritated face. "Get real, ok? It's not like that at all. We're just friends…" She nods, rolling her eyes. "You mean that crap going around school? That's all Cordelia's little revenge crap. It's not anything…"

"Cordelia. Yeah, there's a real …" She doesn't finish. "But I'm thinking, not all of that rumor is all wrong…"

"Get bent, Faith. God your full of it. Just cuz Buffy's a friend and a girl, doesn't make her my girlfriend, ok? It's not like that. We're just friends, get it?"

"Ok, if you say so," Faith shrugs her shoulders. She turns to face Willow, not completely successful in hiding her grin.

"Look, Buffy is a class A homophobe. The idea of it makes her… crazy. I mean, when I first told her, she practically stampeded the Bronze trying to get the heck away from me. So, I don't know what the heck you're thinking, missy, but I'd take another think there, ok?"

"No arguments here, Red," Faith nods. "Though, she was ok with me and her mom being together. Weird, huh?"

"Huh? You told her?" Willow's eyes go wide. "When?"

"Last weekend, matter of fact. She … was casual."

"Yeah, well… good, I'm glad to hear it. Still, the idea of her… being with another girl. Trust me, major wig out time. And hey, my number one rule? Don't date the straight ones. And anyway, I don't feel for her like that… and she's kinda with Oz now…"

"Oz?"

"Her boyfriend. Daniel Osborne… anyway, you're crazy if you think there's anything more than friendship between us because, well, that's just not gonna happen, and did I mention? I don't date straight girls? I mean I don't make them prove their gay, but I mean, I don't come on to girls I know are like straight, and anyway Buffy's not my type, you know? So …"

"Whoa!" Faith puts up a hand. "Really, ok, I said, I believe you, ok?"

"Ok," Willow subsides. She makes a noise. "… because, the idea of me and Buffy, well that's just too insane to even…"

"STOP!"

"Uh… ok…" Willow really stops this time.

They stand there for a little while, neither speaking.

"So. We're done here, then?" Willow finally breaks the silence.

"Yeah."

"Good, cuz, really, I got stuff I gotta do…" Willow trails off, nodding her head towards the street.

"Right, well…thanks, I guess…" Faith starts towards the school exit.

Willow breaks away, feeling a little confused at the moment. She makes her own way towards the gate, away from Faith.

"Oh, uhhh… Red?"

_Dammit, would she just let it go?_

" Look, I told you, I…"

"I just wanted to say… I'm glad Buffy has a friend like you. I think she needs somebody like you in her life, ok?"

Willow stands there, not exactly sure how to take that.

"Like me?"

"Yeah, a friend. Somebody she can talk to, that's not family. You know?"

"Oh. Yeah." Willow can't help the blush that colors her cheeks. "Thanks."

She turns and goes, more confused than ever.

Faith watches her go, and smirks.

"Oh yeah," She mutters to herself. "Nothing there, uh-uh."

Chuckling to herself, she heads towards the gate.

2

Buffy sits quietly at the Espresso Pump, staring into her cup of Mocha, running her finger along its edge. She's waiting for Oz to show up, and he's a little late. She's growing a little impatient.

_Where is he, anyway?_ She thinks, then almost has to laugh at herself. _Gosh, Buffy, jealous much?_

But truth be told, Buffy is a little jealous. She's jealous of any time that Oz isn't with her. _Ok, like, falling for this guy, or what, Buffy?_

She thinks about that for a moment.

Oz wasn't like any other guy she ever thought she was 'in love' with before.

No one would mistake him for handsome. _Cute, he's definitely cute…_ but not physically cute. It's his personality, the thing that makes him Oz that makes him cute. Buffy, like any girl her age, has always been attracted to cute guys. That is, handsome guys. Oz isn't by any stretch handsome.

His nose was a little too big for his face. And his chin was narrow, almost pointy. And his ears were definitely pointy. And his smile was crooked. He looked a little bit like a demented elf. _Especially when he wears his hair spiky and multicolored, _she thought to herself.

_But his eyes…_ she almost sighs that out… _are gorgeous. Blue green, and when they look at me, and I see that look he gives me…_ she lets out a huge sigh that time. He makes her feel gorgeous. Which makes him totally gorgeous, in her eyes.

He's still not much for talking, and she's beginning to realize it's not just shyness. _I think they invented laconic to define him, _she giggled to herself. But even so, when he spoke, it meant something. _So unlike the jocks I've dated and have said all too much about absolutely nothing!_ And despite his veneer of indifference, she's more than once caught a glimpse of his passion.

She's learned that he's smart. Not just on music, which she expected, but on everything. _God, he's totally smart. Wicked smart. God, Willow smart! Get them into a conversation about something they're passionate about, and duck, because it gets totally intense. And, do I feel dumb with them? Well, duh…_

_He never makes me feel dumb, though,_ she thinks, smiling. _He listens to me. I mean, really listens. I mean, when has any guy I've dated really listen to me? Never, that's for sure. But he listens, and his comments are so on point, and to it I feel… he makes me feel… special…_ and she feels a warmth suffuse throughout her body. _Oh yeah, he does…_

"Hey"

Buffy looks up, a little startled, and consternated, realizing he's walked right up to her and she didn't even notice. She feels her cheeks grow pink, and she also feels her throat get suddenly dry and her heart skip a beat.

_Gawd, how does he do that?_

"Hey, yourself," She croaks out, then clears her throat. "You're late!"

"Yeah, sorry," He sits down at the table next to her, "Devon. He got to talking, and wouldn't stop. I don't think he gets the idea of shut up." He half grinned at her.

"It's ok, " Buffy says, unconsciously imitating him. "No big. I just thought you might've forgotten…"

"A date with you?" Oz smiles on of his becoming-less-rare smiles.

That doesn't make her heart flutter any less.

"Not likely," he concludes, sipping his coffee.

"Is that what this is?" She asks coyly, sipping her now cooled coffee. _Uck,_ she thinks, but sips it nonetheless. " A date?"

"I dunno," He shrugs. There's a pause. "Not a date, date, I guess." He looks at her intently. "Do you want it to be?"

She lowers her eyelids, feeling suddenly shy.

"I guess I'm asking, are we dating?" Her voice is soft.

He smiles again; a little surprised, and a lot pleased.

"Do you want to be dating?"

"I'd like that, yeah," She says, her voice even softer. Her hand reaches over and touches his. "You?"

He looks down at her hand, then up with his intense blue-eyed gaze. "Yeah. I'd like that. A lot."

Without thought, or willing it, their heads come together, and they touch lips, briefly.

Buffy is finding it hard to breath. She leans out, and whooshes out a breath.

"When?" She asks, when recovered.

"When?" He echoes, a little confused. The brief kiss kind of knocked his thinking off line.

"A date? Me and you?"

"Right," Oz feels like kicking self. _Well, duh!_ He makes a face. "We're booked out of town this weekend…"

Buffy's face falls.

"But … we're dark next weekend. No gigs."

The light comes back on in Buffy's face.

"Next Saturday, then?" She asks. "I mean, if you're not busy…"

"Gee, dunno… I'll have to ask my girlfriend…" He smiles.

_Girlfriend? He's got a girlfriend?_ Buffy's green eyed monster goes into overdrive until it suddenly hits her.

He means her.

"Girlfriend?" She almost turns into a puddle right there. "You mean, me?"

"Oh. Too fast." Oz misunderstands. "Look, I didn't mean to…"

He's cut off when Buffy leans in and gives him a proper kiss.

"Wow." Yet another smile. Three in 5 minutes. A record.

"Yeah, wow."

"So, you're ok with it then? Being my girlfriend?"

She looks at him, surprised. "You have to ask?" She leans over the table, and grabbing him by the lapels, kisses him again.

Oz, his brain whacked by the sudden infusion of Buffy kissing, finally settles his hands on her shoulders. When the kiss breaks, his face, normally unreadable, looks bewildered.

"I'm taking that as a yes? You're ok with it?"

"Well, duh!" She mocks him lightly. "Exactly how many times do I have to kiss you to get the point across, Mr. Osborne?"

Oz, still befuddled, thinks about it.

"One more?"

So, she does.

3

"Gaaah!"

Much later that night; as a matter of fact, it's almost the dawn of a new day, Faith, in disgust, throws the blankets off herself and gets out of bed, giving up any pretense at sleep. Grabbing her robe, because it's a little chilly, she wraps it around herself and strides over to the 'kitchen' part of her one room apartment. Dumping in some coffee and water in the mini coffee maker and sits down, waiting for it to brew. Head in hands, eyes lidded and looking bloodshot and sleepy, she broods.

_Well, smart girl. Now what do you do? You know it's real now, not maybe just Buffy being hysterical. It's fact. Buffy's preggers. What do I do? Do I tell Joyce? Somebody's gotta tell Joyce; that's really _not_ an option. But do _I _tell Joyce? _

_I should tell her. No, I have to tell her. Buffy is her daughter, and her responsibility. More, she worries about Buffy… and not knowing isn't good. And then there's the she finds out, and she finds out _I _knew, and she's angry with me. Rightfully so. No, I've got to tell her!_ She decides for the 15th time tonight. It's the right thing to do.

_But what about Buffy? She trusted you. She's not ready to tell her mom, and if you tell her, what then? She'll never trust you again. Not with anything important. And she's afraid, so afraid how her mother will react. Not like Joyce is going to be insane about it. But…_ Faith remembers her own experience revealing something secret to her mom. How that went._ Joyce is not my mom. She's NOT! … but she's a mom, and she's not going to be happy about this. Not one bit. And of course, Buffy will be miserable… and she'll look at me as a betrayer… and Joyce wants the girls to trust me. If I do this, will she trust me again? Not likely. And Dawn? She'll see what happens, and probably won't trust me , either. So there goes _that! "No, I can't tell her," Faith mutters, again deciding for the 16th time tonight.

"GAAAH!" She repeats, realizing she's right back where she was hours ago. She doesn't have a clue what to do.

But she does know one thing. She has to talk to someone about it. Someone she can trust.

_Like my mom? Oh yeah, that's so going to happen. EVEN if she would talk to me, which she won't, what would she say?_ "She should tell her mother!" Faith almost laughs imitating her mother's stern Irish voice._ Yeah, that went so well for us, mom, didn't it? Ok, mom is definitely not on the list. Who else? _

_Tina? Bettina Marie Gallagher. Porn shop owner. Ex-lover. Yeah, that's a great idea. She'd love this. I can hear her now giving me all sorts of crap about it. _"Told you, didn't I, Faith? Hooked up with that hag, right? Well, you got what you deserved, moron!"_ Oh, man I can hear the laughter now. And probably she'd tell her current squeeze, too. Oh no, nothing there… _

_So who? Can't talk to Joyce. Don't want to talk to Buffy's friend, Willow. Who do I got?_

Faith doesn't have an answer to that one. Feeling tired and achy, she looks at the bed longingly. But she knows that's just another exercise in frustration. She plops herself down on the bed, nonetheless and sighs.

_God, how did I get myself in this mess again?_

Suddenly the apartment air feels stale. The whole apartment feels too close, too tight. Almost leaping off the bed, she chucks her robe and starts hunting around for something to wear. She has to get out of here, go somewhere, do something.

Deciding on a walk, she wriggles into her jeans, throws on a jacket and some sneakers, and tosses on a jacket.

_Maybe the night air will clear my head… _

Crossing to the door, she rather doubts it. But at this point, she's feeling a little desperate, too.

Slipping through the door, she closes it quietly behind her.

Crossing the driveway, she glances over at the main house and stops. She notices a light on in the kitchen.

_Weird… they're never up at…_ she looks at her watch and sighs … _3:23 a.m. Man, long time til morning…_

She starts towards the curb and stops again. _What if something's wrong? _She hesitates, not wanting to intrude if it's nothing. _I mean, people do raid the fridge late…_ But, in all the time she's come home late, she's never seen the light on in the house at this time of night. Not loving it, she nonetheless turns around and heads towards the main house. _I'll just peek in the window…_ she reaches the side door, and tries to look in. But the shade is drawn, and she can't see anything. _Crap… _

She stands by the back door, and debates with herself for awhile. Finally coming to a decision, she knocks lightly on the door.

She waits for what seems forever, and finally decides to rap on the door again when she hears a chain slide, and the lock unbolted. The door opens, and there is standing Mrs. Carval, dressed in a robe. She looks at Faith with some curiosity.

"Faith? Are you ok?" She frowns. "Do you know it's 3:30 in the morning?"

"Yes, ma'am, Mrs. C. I … well, I saw the light on, and I kinda got concerned…" Faith stammers a little, embarrassed. _It's nothing, Faith. Cripes!_

Mrs. Carval smiles, somewhat ruefully. "Oh… yes, well, my Bertie is away on a job up north, and isn't home. I kind of find it hard to sleep when he's not here. " She shrugs. "Guess that happens after 30 years of marriage."

"Oh. Well, sorry," Faith apologizes, backing off. "Didn't mean to intrude. I just… well, I'll be going now…" She points off towards the street, and starts to move off.

"So, what're you doing up this late, Faith?" Tonia Carval gets a concerned look on her face. "Are you just getting home? My baby brother George isn't keeping you out too late, is he? You have school in the morning, don't you?"

"No, no. I mean yes… I mean… no, I've been home awhile, and yes, I have school. I just…" Faith shrugs. "… just had some trouble sleeping. Thought I'd take a walk… you know, fresh air and all… sorry to bother you…" She starts off again.

"Ah, well… something on your mind, Faith? I know I have trouble sleeping when I'm worried about something…"

"Kinda. Sorta," Faith shrugs. "Look, it's no big deal. I'll figure it out…"

"Don't be silly, Faith. Look, I'm awake anyway, and I've got nothing to do but stare at some infomercial telling me it can cure my acne in only a week if I order their product…"

Faith chuckles at that.

"C'mon in. Let's talk. I'll make hot chocolate. That always makes me feel better?" She cocks her head, arching brow. "What do you say?"

Faith debates with herself. On the one hand, this is her landlord, and her boss's sister. _Maybe telling her personal stuff might not be a great idea._ On the other hand, she really, really needs to talk with someone…

"Look, I promise," Tonia Carval smiles, "I won't tell anyone your deep dark secrets, ok? Not even George. It'll just be between us girls. How's that?" It's almost as she's reading Faith's mind. Which gives Faith a little shudder.

But she really needs to talk to someone. Someone not all entangled in this mess.

"You sure you don't mind?"

"Are you kidding? I'll tell you… this neighborhood used to be a lot better, but lately been getting all kinds moving in, you know. Frankly, you'd be doing _me_ a favor keeping me company. I'd feel a whole lot safer…"

Faith looks at Mrs. Carval, and her solid frame, and she really doubts anyone could give her a ration of crap. Still…

"Hey, cool by me. We women gotta stick together, right?" Faith says, going along with the obvious fib. "Did you mention hot chocolate?"

"I sure did. Always makes me feel better…" Tonia says. "And… I think I have some almond chocolate chip cookies left. Homemade…"

"I'm sold," Faith says with alacrity. She walks in the door, closing it behind her.

45 minutes later, Faith and Tonia Carval are sitting at her kitchen table. In front of them are steaming mugs of hot chocolate, and in the center is a large plate with a pile of cookies on it. Faith has helped herself to more than one, much to the pleasure of Tonia, who appreciates anyone that enjoys her cooking.

Faith helps herself to another cookie, taking a bite as she finishes up her story.

"… so, anyway, that's where I am now. I'm kinda stuck here, cuz I'm really not knowing what I should do. Should I tell her mom, or just keep my mouth shut?"

Faith has told Tonia most of the story, editing out certain things that might well, shock her, at least in Faith's opinion. Even from just seeing the foyer and kitchen, she's seen more than one Crucifix and statue of a saint. She knows a catholic household when she's in one. _No need to upset Mrs. C. I'm kinda liking living here…_

And she feels comfortable here. This kitchen reminds her a lot of the one at home back in Boston. The fact that Tonia Carval has let her talk, without interrupting too often, also makes her feel more at ease.

"So, what do you think?" Faith puts the question to her.

Tonia leans back and gazes at Faith as she nibbles on a cookie. She's sizing the girl up frankly, and so far likes what she sees. She can't help but be reminded of Cecilia, her middle girl. She, like Faith, is somewhat strong in her opinions, and can be stubborn to the point of fiery. Not that Faith has been rude or coarse, or abrupt. She's been very polite. But Tonia can hear the passion in her voice, and see the look in her eye when she talks about certain things. And, her brother George filled her in on Faith before she let her stay here. All in all, she likes the girl.

But she's not a fool, by any stretch, and she senses Faith isn't telling her everything.

"So, Faith, that's quite a story," Tonia nods, taking a sip of her chocolate. "I don't think you told me. How did you happen to meet this family again?"

"Oh. Well, I was working a party… this was back when I was working for the University pub… before I started working for Chief Romero… and well, the daughter… the one in trouble right now?… she was there, and kind of in a pickle… er… and I helped her get out of it. Her mom was grateful, and I kinda stayed with them for awhile. Low rent and all…"

"I see, "Tonia nods again. And still not buying it entirely. "So, why aren't you living there then? I mean, it's obvious you still have a connection to the household…"

"No, no connection," Faith says, swiftly. "But, they were nice, and well, I guess we're friends, and the girl… well, she confided in me… and why I'm not there? Well, we … I… I … needed someplace closer to campus, you see…"

"Faith, dear," Tonia reaches out, patting her hand. "I don't mean to put you on the spot or anything …" She looks Faith straight in the eye. "… but I don't believe you've told me everything, have you?"

"I'm sorry? I really don't know what you mean…"

"Faith, it's all right. We're in the new century now. I know our church frowns on such things, but… is there more to this relationship with this young lady… what was her name again? Betty? … that you're not telling me about?"

"What? Gawd, no! I mean, she's a kid. In high school…."

"From what you say, she's 18… or almost… and…" Tonia shrugs. "I admit I don't understand it, but I know that such things happen…"

"Mrs. C! I swear. There's nothing… absolutely nothing, between Buffy and me. Other than well, we're kind of friends. And I guess she felt she could trust me. But, there's nothing more going on…" Faith has to chuckle a little bit. "And anyway… not like I could be the daddy… I'm lacking in certain essential equipment…"

Tonia Carval sits there for a moment, then bursts out with a hearty laugh.

"I'm well aware of that, Faith. I just thought… Well, it was just sort of strange to me that this young woman would come to you, a …well, pretty much a stranger… with this problem…?"

Faith begins to feel somewhat uncomfortable. _Maybe this was a bad idea. No, this was a bad idea, no maybe about it…_

"Look, Mrs. C. …"

"Tonia, dear."

"Mrs. C, " Faith continues, somewhat stubbornly. She stands up." Thanks for everything, it helped to get it out. But maybe I should…"

"Faith, sit down please," Tonia points at the table. When Faith doesn't respond, she repeats herself. "Sit, dear. Please!"

Faith, despite herself, feels her knees bend, and she's sitting again. _Ok, how did that happen?_

"Now, this is obviously troubling you, and I want to help you, if I can, but dear… you simply have to be honest with me," Tonia says, quietly but firmly. "From what you say, I don't see your dilemma." She smiles at Faith. A mom's smile. "Now, you remind all too much of my Cecilia, my middle girl. Loyal to her friends, but stubborn as all get out, and tries her best to keep things secret. Thinks she'll shock old mom, if she tells me everything." She shakes her head, amused.  
"I really don't know where you girls get the idea that you invented everything… but you do think that…" She shrugs. She wags a finger at Faith. "You're not telling me the whole story here, Faith. And well, I can't help you without all the facts."

"Mrs. C… Tonia, I can't tell you everything. I… there are other people involved, and things could happen that … well, it could really mess things up, you see? It's not just me I'm thinking about here…" She starts to stand again. "Maybe we should just forget the whole thing…"

"Dios mio!" Tonia exclaims, "girl, please, sit down. You're always popping up like a jack in the box. Honey, listen to me," She leans in a little. "I said before you came in, I wouldn't reveal anything you said here, and I meant it! Now, you can tell me anything, dear. There's not much I haven't heard about or seen in my life, so please…"

"Nothing is going on between Buffy and me…" Faith lets out a sigh. "That's not the problem. It's the mother and me… we're… together…"

"Ahhh… you see? That makes it make sense now. Before, I couldn't see why you were so conflicted. Oh sure, the mother SHOULD be informed, but your loyalty seemed to be more towards the daughter. But, now I understand. You're conflicted because you feel a strong loyalty to the mother, too. Though for different reasons, of course…"

"You… You're not weirded out?" Faith is somewhat surprised. "Most people kind of feel it's strange…"

"As I told you, Faith. I don't get his whole lesbian thing. I just don't understand the attraction, frankly. That doesn't make it any less real. When my Cecilia came out to me and her dad, we both were …"

"You daughter came out. And you… what?" Faith looks suspicious. "You kicked her out?"

"WHAT? NO! That's ridiculous! Of course not!" Tonia has never heard such nonsense in her life. "Cecilia's my daughter, why would I do a foolish thing like that?"

Faith is gobsmacked. She sits there, staring at Tonia for so long that finally Tonia becomes a little uncomfortable herself.

"I'm sorry, is there something wrong?"

"I… thought… aren't you like… Catholic?"

"Yes," Tonia replies, growing more confused. "What does my religion have to do with anything?"

"But, you said… didn't you say your daughter was gay?"

"My Cecilia? Yes, I did…" Still confused.

"I don't understand…"Faith looks away, brow wrinkled in thought.

"Well, dear, I'm right there with you. What does my religion have to do with my daughter?"

Faith just looks at her as if she just can't understand her in the least.

"Faith?" Tonia is beginning to become nervous.

"My parents… when I told them I was a lesbian, they hit the roof! And they swore that I was sinning against God and the Church… we're Catholic. I thought… well… they won't speak to me, consider me… well, like I never even existed…" her voice fades out.

Tonia Carval sits there, shocked. _How could her own parents say such things? Do that to their own daughter?_

"Faith, forgive me if I offend, but your parents sound like a bunch of fools… and bigots…"

"HEY!" Faith flushes, "Those are my parents you're talking about!"

"There's that loyalty I was talking about, no matter how misplaced…" Tonia smiles. "but dear, my church is my spiritual guide… but it certainly doesn't rule my life. Nor do I let it tell me how I'm going to treat my family. And my religion as far as I can tell is about forgiveness and accepting people for all their faults. At least, that's how I understand it. I'm not saying I approve of my daughter's lifestyle, nor yours, but I know basically you're good kids, the both of you. I've even read somewhere you're born like that. That you don't have any choice in how you feel, anymore than I have any choice in eye color. So, how could I condemn that? It seems silly to me… and frankly, so does your parent's reaction…"

_Yeah, silly. If it didn't hurt so damn much…_ "I really miss them…" Faith says, quietly.

"I'm sure you do, dear," Tonia takes her hand, squeezing it. "Have you talked to them? Tried to make them see your point of view…?"

"Only a dozen times… but they won't talk to me…" Faith's bottom lip begins to tremble. "They hate me…"

"Now, now, girl," Antonia gets up, and goes to Faith, hugging her. "I'm sure that's not true. They're confused, and don't understand you… but deep down, they love you. No parent can really hate their child. Not if they ever really loved them…"

Faith pulls away, sniffling a little, and surreptitiously wiping a tear. She isn't one to cry, and she doesn't want to do it now.

"Well, it's water under the bridge, anyway…" Faith says, shaking it off. "I just… wish I knew what to do about Buffy…"

"Do you want my opinion?" Tonia asks, putting a hand on Faith's shoulder.

"Please?" Faith looks up at her, wide eyed.

"Well, a part of me says you should tell her…"

Faith groans softly, but nods. She's not exactly crazy about that answer.

"…let me finish, please. A larger part of me says, you shouldn't. And I'll tell you why…" Tonia walks over, and sits down, facing Faith. "Being a mother myself, I would want to know. But deep in my heart? I'd prefer it to come from my girls, rather than from a … well, you, for instance. I'd like to think my girls trust me enough to tell me anything, even something like this. In the end, it would make it much easier for me to accept, than if it came from you, say. Now, I'm not saying you won't probably have to take a little pain… but that's part of the course, dear. You might be in the doghouse for a couple of days, but once …what was her name, again?"

"Joyce."

"Yes, once Joyce calms down, she'll understand why you did it. And appreciate it. You gave your word to this young woman, and I think she'll respect you more, in the long run, if you keep it."

Faith sits there, a little amazed. _It's so simple. Why didn't I just see it that way?_

"You really think so?"

"I do. I might be wrong, but as a mother myself? I don't think I am."

"Thanks…" Faith yawns. "Excuse me!"

"Well, I think someone should catch a few winks before she goes to class. Don't you?"

Faith rises, and yawns again, stretching.

"Yeah, I'm pretty bushed…"

"Now, didn't I tell you? Hot chocolate and cookies. Best thing for insomnia. I should package it."

"Well, I'd buy it!" Faith grins, and yawns again. "Goodnight, Mrs. C, and thanks…"

"Tonia, please? I really feel like that mom on that old program "Happy Days" when you call me that. And I'm not up to wearing poodle skirts… again."

Faith laughs.

"Now, get some sleep… and frankly, I'd skip classes tomorrow. You need to rest, dear."

"Thanks again… Tonia. I'll think about it…" Faith takes her cup to the sink. She turns, and grins. "I don't suppose you'd be looking for another daughter? I can cook and I clean pretty good…"

Tonia Carval laughs.

"Heavens, no! I've had three children, and that's plenty. Nothing personal dear, but once Margaret is out of the house, me and Mr. Carval are going to retire. We're thinking of traveling around the country…" She turns serious. "but, if you ever need to talk… my door is open."

Faith crosses over, and to a chuckling Mrs. Carval, she kisses her lightly on the cheek.

"Well, thanks anyway, mom. You're the best."

Without any further ceremony, she walks towards the back door and exits.

Tonia Carval picks up her cup and the plate of cookies, carrying them to the sink. She covers the cookies in plastic, and puts the cup in the sink. All the time, she hums a little tune.

She loves playing mom, despite her protests to the contrary

Faith, for her part, is walking back up to her apartment. She feels considerably better, now that she's talked to Mrs. Carval. It's not until she pulls her key from her pocket that another thought strikes her.

The father of Buffy's baby.

That's also been bugging her tonight, though not as badly as the other. But their failure with the basketball jock today only made things more confusing.

_Red said she hadn't seen Buffy really dating anyone except that Brad character. And Buffy's not talking… so she must be protecting someone. But who? Did she meet some older guy? Like a college guy? But why wouldn't Red say so? If she knew…_

Something else is nagging at her. Something Dawn said, that day they went to get her motorcycle. Something about Buffy and her father.

Faith feels a chill in her stomach. For a second, she swears that the air around her has gotten thicker, and a lot colder.

_No, no way… that's ridiculous. It has to be wrong…_

She pushes the key in the lock, unlocking the door. She lets herself in, and pauses just a second at the threshold.

_Still…_

She closes the door behind her.

4

"You've gotta!"

Willow watches with some amusement as Buffy seems to almost bounce around her. Outwardly, she remains calm and somewhat detached as Buffy pulls out every trick, trying to get her to agree to her wishes.

_Gosh, would you look at her go? She's so cute when she wants to be all charming… _

_Hey, a girl's gotta have some fun, you know? I mean, it can't be all gloom and doom!_

"I gotta what, Buffy?" Willow teases her, knowing very well what Buffy wants.

"You _know_ what, Will," Buffy says," You gotta come over. We could make it like girls night, you know?"

"A girl's night?" Willow is loving torturing her a little. She arches a brow.

"Yeah, you know. Like, old movies and popcorn and chocolaty goodness…." Buffy notices Willow's look, and suddenly realizes that Willow might have _another_ definition for a 'girl's night'. She blushes. "Oh, goodness…"

Willow laughs at her discomfort. Grabbing her hand, she squeezes it lightly, and smiles.

"Relax, would you? I'm not gonna jump you, Buffy. I was just teasing you."

She has more mixed emotions over the look of relief that washes over Buffy's face.

"Willow, you know I think you're an attractive woman, and if I was that way…" Buffy starts, but Willow cuts her off.

"Buffy, would you chill, please?" Willow says, feeling a little irritated. "Just because I'm a lesbian, _everything_ isn't about sex, you know? I like you, as you, without necessarily wanting to get into your panties…"

Buffy's cheeks go red again, which Willow enjoys thoroughly. _So cute!_

"I'm sorry, Will. I know I act like an idiot sometimes, it's just I've never had a lesbian as a friend before…" Buffy shrugs, still a little embarrassed. "I don't know to treat you sometimes. I don't want to upset you."

Willow sighs, and shakes her head. "Buffy, it's not a disease you know. Just treat me like you'd treat any of your friends who would happen to be a girl."

"Well, duh!" Buffy mocks herself. "I'm sorry I'm acting stupid."

She hugs Willow tightly, pressing against her.

"You're the best, you know that, don't you?" Buffy says softly, her head on Willow's shoulder.

Willow feels Buffy's warm breath tickle her throat. _Ok, I'll just sit here and pretend I'm not really loving this . Yeah, right. _Willow gently breaks the hug, scooting away just a hair.

"Thanks, Buffy, I like you, too," Willow smiles. Then she frowns a little. "But, ummm… I really can't make it Friday night…"

"Why not?" Buffy can't hide her disappointment. Then it hits her. "Oh, my god! You've got a date!" Buffy starts to bounce again. She comes over, and gets into Willow's face. "Ok, who is it? Who's the lucky girl? Gimme the dirt! Details…I want details!"

Willow, amused, avoids another Buffy hug. Not that she doesn't want it. She wants it too much. _Let's not let it get too close here, ok?_

"No, Buffy, nothing as fun as that. It's just I've got this thing. With my parents. I can't get out of it." She shrugs, looking resigned. "I have to go to temple that night…"

"Temple? Is that like church?" Buffy looks puzzled. "Who goes to church on Friday night?"

"Well, Jewish people for one, Buffy," Willow smiles. "Sabbath is from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday."

"Wow, bummer," Buffy says, "I mean, that must really cut into your dating life…"

"Look, Buff. I'm not like my dad. I'm not really into the religion. Mostly, I skip it. Usually he's ok with it, but he's being installed as the Cantor of our temple this weekend, and he expects me to be there."

"Cantor?"

"Yeah…kind of like leader of the choir, I guess… except no choir, and it's more about leading the congregation in prayer. It's kind of complicated…"

"Well, that sounds kinda… I guess important… I can see why your dad would want you there…" She smiles, but is still disappointed. "Maybe another time…"

"Look, Buffy, I'm going Friday night cuz it's important to dad, but if you think I'm gonna stay locked up the weekend? Not happening… how about Saturday night? Or afternoon… I can sneak out early…"

"Really?" Buffy is all happy again. "Cool!"

Willow gives Buffy a sly look. She knows Buffy has an ulterior motive for this sudden 'girl's night'.

"So, Buffy… what's the deal?" Willow asks, in a slightly sing-song tone. "Why the sudden interest in hanging out with me?"

"Huh? You're like my best bud forever, Will. Why shouldn't we hang out?"

"Oh we should, we definitely should," Willow agrees, " but you've never seemed interested in hanging out with me before… at least, not so passionately."

"Well, geeze, Will. I mean, things have been kind of weird before, you know? With everything going on, and well, I things have sometimes been…weird between us too, and well…" Buffy is fumbling this badly, and knows it. Worse, she knows Willow knows it, and feels a little resentment because of it. "Look, Will, if you don't want to, just say so. I mean, it's not like life and death." _Not much, anyway…_

"I'm just teasing you a little, Buffy. Call it payback for those times when you like ignored me?"

"I never ignored you!"

"Uh-huh… and you were so my bestest bud ever when you were drooling to be one of Cordelia's herd?"

Buffy colors a dark red. She gets up, ready to bolt.

"Ok, I get it. You don't wanna hang out. Sorry I…"

Willow grabs her arm, pulling her back down. She flings an arm around her shoulders, hugging her. "Don't' be a dope. Of course I wanna hang out with you, Buff. I like you… now that you've got that cheerleader spirit stick outta your ass…"

"Hey!" Buffy protests, but doesn't break away.

"Hey, yourself. I was just wondering why you wanted to be gal pals all of a sudden…" Willow decides to crank up the torture, just a little. "It wouldn't happen to have to do with a certain Mr. Daniel Osborn, would it?" She looks at Buffy, grinning broadly, tongue between her teeth.

"Aw, geeze!" Buffy's busted, and knows it. "Why does my wanting to spend time _with you_, have anything to do with Oz?"

"What turnip truck do you think I just fell off of, Buff? I saw Oz this morning, and he looked like the cat that ate the canary, and now you're all of a sudden wanting to hang out with me. I did get an A in math, you know…"

Buffy sighs. "Am I that transparent?"

"Naw, just like glass, is all…" Willow teases her.

Buffy scrunches down, embarrassed. "Ok, I guess that's a no then…"

"Are you kidding? Not hang out with my bestest friend forever? Of course I'm coming. Think you're gonna get the dirt for free? Forget that one, Buffy!" Willow chuckles. "Maybe I'll even grab a pizza on the way. But you're providing the snacks and entertainment. Deal?"

"Deal!" Buffy squeals. She hugs Willow, and on impulse, kisses her on the cheek. "You're the best, you know that? I know you know that!" She hugs her again. "Hey, you wanna stay over? We could go out for breakfast on Sunday, and maybe hit the mall? Do some shopping? Make a weekend out of it!"

"Oh yeah, and we could like, do our nails, and do each other's hair, and have pillow fights," Willow is definitely in mocking mode,"… oh, talk about _boys…_"

"Well, if you're going to be _that_ way about it…"

"Yeah, I'll stay. It'll be nice." Willow grins.

"COOL!" Buffy exclaims, and Willow narrowly avoids another hug. "Oh. Wait." She frowns.

"What?"

"Well… there's only the one bed, and well…"

"Oh, for goodness sakes, Buffy! I can sleep with a girl in the bed without 'sleeping' with her! Geeze, I'm not some oversexed maniac, you know!"

"I'm sorry, that was totally lame…"

The bell rings.

"Oh, man, gotta go. Hey… so Saturday then?"

"I'll be there." Willow grins. She gets up, grabbing her books.

"See you later in P.E." Buffy turns, and rushes towards the school buildings.

Willow watches her go, a little grin on her face. It slowly fades out, and her brow furrows.

_Maybe not such a good idea… with Buffy in the same bed… wonder if I'll get any sleep that night?_ Willow shakes her head, sighing. _Sometimes, I wonder if I'm all so smart. _

She walks a little distracted, towards the school.

5

"That's a very interesting proposition you've brought me."

Avery chase was sitting behind his desk as afternoon sun faded into twilight . He studied the golden haired girl's face before him. His eyes narrowed.

"But there's something I simply don't understand," He rises, crossing around his desk. He stands behind Harmony, lightly resting his hands on her shoulders. "Why would want to do this?" His hands slip lower over her shoulders, bracketing her arms. "After all, what does it matter to you?"

"Believe me, it matters," She says softly, leaning her head back into his abdomen, just above his groin. "It matters a lot."

"Indeed," He says, his hands lightly stroking her bare arms. "I understand there is some … competition… between you and Ms. Rosenberg for my Cordelia's affections…" He smiles a cold smile. "Jealousy can be a strong motivator." His hands move up, gently framing her neck. He rubs the soft skin gently.

She shivers slightly, and takes a breath.

"It's not jealousy," Harmony says, his touch causing tingles through her body. "It's not like that…"

"I find that very hard to believe, Ms. Kendall…" Avery encircles her throat with his hands, squeezing gently. "I'm not a fool, and I don't appreciate being lied to."

Suddenly, his hands leave her neck, and he grabs her hair, tugging on it hard.

Harmony moans, and tries to free herself.

"Stop it! STOP IT! It HURTS!" She complains, batting at his hands.

"I can make it hurt a lot more," Avery growls softly. He pulls on her hair, forcing her to her feet. Wrapping her hair around his hand, he tugs on it, causing her to bend her neck to keep from losing some.

"PLEASE, STOP HURTING ME!" Her voice starts to quaver, and a tear comes to her eye. "Ok, ok, there's jealousy… but it's more than that! Really!" She whimpers, looking at him.

Avery smiles, and releases her. She quickly moves away, out of reach. She combs her fingers through her hair.

"Do you have to be so mean? I just want to help you get what you want…" She pouts, trying to fix the damage to her hair.

"Nothing's free in this life, Harmony. Giving or receiving…" He stares at her, his eyes narrowed. "How do I know this isn't some kind of game you're playing?"

"It's not a game…"

"Oh. So your getting me what I want out of the goodness of your heart? Do I look stupid to you?" He starts towards her.

"No, no… look… " She backs away, "I… I hate that bitch. She's … Cordelia's obsessed with her. God, I don't know why. She's nothing. Less than nothing… but Cordelia's always protecting her. I hate that! It's … it's just sick!" Harmony feels the anger rising in her. "Little Ms. Goody better than you, god, she thinks she's better than anyone. She's always making fun of me. I can take that, but I wont' stand by and act like she's better than Cordelia! She… she humiliated her, and I can't… I won't let her get away with that. She needs to be taken down…"Harmony flushes, remembering the aftermath of that contest. "I hate her, she deserves to be hurt. She should be hurt. She should be made to eat dirt, and give thanks it's not a foot in her side…" Her face has an ugly, angry expression on it. "I want her to get everything she's got coming…"

Avery smiles, seeing the anger and hatred and rage, and knowing he can use it. Direct it, and get exactly what he wants. He holds out his arms.

"Come here, child."

Harmony hesitates, showing fear.

"I won't hurt you," Avery says in a soothing tone. "Just come here…"

Harmony, almost seemingly against her will, goes to him. He wraps her in his arms, pulling her close. He gently strokes her hair.

He looks down on her, almost benignly. Chucking her under the chin, he raises her face to look at him.

"I'm very glad you're my daughter's friend. It's obvious you have her interests at heart," he says gently, smiling at her.

"I.. I love her…like a sister…"Harmony says, still a little fearful.

"Yes, of course," Avery smiles. "Like a sister."

He holds her for a moment, then gently pushes her away.

"One more thing. I'm sure Ms. Rosenberg feels the same repulsion for you that you obviously feel for her. How do you plan on getting her where we want her?"

"Don't worry," She smiles at him, a little mystery in her expression. "I know just how to get her here…"

"Indeed. I'm impressed, Ms. Kendall. I didn't think you had it in you…" he looks at her, his gaze turning somewhat licentious.

"But there's one more thing…" She says, seeing his gaze. Her hands wander to her blouse, which she begins to unbutton her blouse.

Avery stares at her hands, and smiles.

"OH, you're putting conditions on it now?" His gaze narrows. "Aren't you the clever little bargainer?" His voice has a slight chill in it.

She pulls her blouse out of her skirt, and shucks it off her shoulders. She begins to play with her bra straps.

"Just one," she says, coyly, moving the strap up and down her arm.

Avery arches a brow.

"I want to be there…" She reaches around, and expertly unhooks her bra. She holds it tight to her body so the cups cling to her breasts. "I want to see her humiliated. I want to watch as you … she's queer, you know. Totally. _She _hates cock. I want to see her cry and whimper and scream when you take her…" Her expression turns lust filled and sardonic. "I want to rub her face in it, while she's being destroyed."

Avery smiles broader, nodding approvingly.

"I like how you think," He says, his eyes wandering over her chest. "I think that's a perfectly acceptable condition."

Harmony smiles. Loosening her arms from her sides, she allows her bra to drop to the floor. Her breasts spring free, the nipples hard. She walks over to him, her breasts bobbing lightly as she moves. She presses against him, firmly feeling his interest in her proposition.

"Then we have a deal?" She asks, her voice slightly smoky, slightly sultry.

"I think it's time we seal this partnership, don't you?" Avery's breathing has become shallower, more ragged. "I think it's time to give Ms. Rosenberg _everything_ she has coming to her."

His hands move up her skirt, and gently cup her ass.

Harmony leans into him, pressing against him.

_Oh, I think its time everyone gets exactly what they deserve…_ She smiles to herself.

To be continued.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Pairing: Joyce/Faith

A/N: Incest, violence

1

"Aw, crap!"

Buffy sits up, once again woken by the noise going on next door in  
her mom's bedroom. Don't those two ever give it a rest? she thought,  
as she swings her legs over the edge of the bed. You'd think it was  
the end of the world, and they were going to do it as many times as  
they could before it's all over. She shakes her head to clear it,  
then sits there with her head in her hands, staring off into space. I  
think I liked it better when we didn't know about them. At least then  
they hid it, and you could get some sleep…

Despite her grumbling, she has to smile. She can't remember a time  
when her mom was just so happy. A little cloud comes to her sunshine,  
however, when she realizes even when things were good between her dad  
and mom, mom was never this happy. I don't remember her being this  
happy, anyway. Maybe she was, maybe I was just too young to notice it…

A thought occurs to her. A little, nagging thought that's been  
occurring to her more and more for the last week or so. Something she  
doesn't want to think about. About what's happened… what she's done.  
She pushes it away, but feels a little chill nonetheless.

Her tummy grumbles, and she looks down at it with a smirk on her  
face. "Well, well, look who else is awake," She says softly, "… and  
hungry. Geeze, don't you ever get filled up, piglet?" She rubs her  
tummy, and smiles lovingly, as her stomach gurgles some more. "Ok,  
ok, we're going!" She giggles softly, heading for her bedroom door.

She looks out carefully, ready to duck back in quickly. Whatever  
happens, she doesn't want any closer encounters of the naked kind,  
especially if it involved her mom… Ok, that would scar me for life!…  
but the hallway is clear. But just as she's going out, she sees  
Dawn's door open, and her head pop out, doing the same thing she's  
doing.

"Aw, geeze… Buffy…" Dawn makes a face, looking at her sister in the  
hallway.

"What?"

"Do you gotta? I mean, haven't you heard of a robe?" Dawn indicates  
Buffy's au natural state. "I mean, seeing my sister naked first thing  
in the morning? Not good on any level."

"Aw, crap," Buffy, blushing, ducks back into her room. She emerges a  
minute later, her body wrapped in an old, well worn terry robe. And,  
just in time to hear another loud moan come from her mom's room.

The sisters look at each other with that impatient, half amused and  
slightly disgusted combination look so perfected by teenagers. Dawn  
holds up 2 fingers, and Buffy shakes her head, holding up 3. Dawn  
rolls her eyes and lets out a breath in disgust. Buffy smirks, and  
nods towards the staircase, indicating Dawn should follow. Without  
waiting for a reply, she turns and heads down the hallway.

Buffy is already seated at the dining room table, chowing down on  
some cereal when Dawn enters. Dawn takes a look, and makes a  
disgusted noise.

"Geeze, pig out much, Buffy?" She says, heading towards the kitchen.

"I'm hungry, ok?" Buffy says, mouth full. "took you long enough to  
get here…"

"Well, excuse me," She says while walking into the kitchen towards  
the cabinet; She grabs a glass and heads for the refrigerator. "I had  
to pee." She pulls out a carton of orange juice pouring some in a  
glass.

"Uh huh," Buffy grunts, taking another mouthful. "Was that before or  
after you eavesdropped on them?"

"I wasn't eavesdropping!" Dawn puts away the juice. "I mean, who  
needs to? Gawd, do they ever let up?"

Dawn sits down at the head of the table just in time to catch Buffy  
mumbling something to herself

"Sorry, didn't hear that," Dawn says, taking a drink.

"I said, jealous much?" Buffy smirks over her cereal bowl.

Dawn almost spits out her juice, and the look on her face is  
priceless.

"That is so stupid! Never mind, you've been using that forever now.  
What's wrong, Buffy? Your Brain goes to sleep and you can't think of  
anything else to try to tease me with? You'd think hanging around  
with Will, you'd get smarter. Well, that didn't happen," Dawn lets  
out an impatient breath. "If you don't remember, for like the  
millionth- gazillionth time, I've got a boyfriend. I know that's a  
hard one for you, Buffy, remembering what a boyfriend is, since you  
haven't had one since like forever, but really, this whole me  
crushing on Faith is getting way old. I like Faith, but I'm not in  
like with Faith, you know? Get it through your head, ok?"

"Why're you making such a big deal then?" Buffy asks, grinning at her.

"God you're terminally stupid…"

"Speaking of the terminally stupid…" Buffy eyes her sister, "maybe  
you should keep up on the latest…"

"What're you babbling about now? Like I care…" Dawn, however can't  
resist a bit of gossip, good or bad.

"Just…" Buffy waves her spoon, "I've got a boyfriend, is all…"

"Yeah, sure, " Dawn says, then takes a look at Buffy's slightly  
blushing and beaming face. "Oh, my god, you're serious! But, who'd  
be… OH! OZ!" Dawn jumps up, and rushes over to her sister, hugging  
her tightly. "That's so COOL!"

"Geeze, squirt, don't get all sloppy on me…" Buffy pushes her away,  
but the big grin on her face belies the grumpiness. "It's no big."

"It's a big, big!" Dawn says as she moves back to her chair. Taking a  
swallow of juice, she continues. "So, when did this happen, huh? I  
mean, you two have been dancing around it for weeks…" Dawn leans in  
eagerly. "C'mon, I want the dirt…"

Buffy suddenly withdraws a little. Her expression changes.

"Look, Dawn? No real dirt on it, ok? It's… new, and I'm really not  
ready to talk about it…"

"Since when? You've never been like secretive about a relationship  
before, Buffy. What's the 411 here?"

"Not secretive," Buffy evades. "Look, we met for coffee. We talked  
some and … well, it just kinda happened, ok? There's really nothing  
to be secretive about, Dawn. We haven't even dated yet…"

"Well, we can fix that. Xander and I are going to the Bronze tonight.  
I mean, ok we always go to the Bronze, but you know, you guys can  
come with… "

"Dawn…"

"It'll be fun, and then you guys are like officially official…"

"Dawn, Oz is out of town on a gig. He won't be back til Monday… we're  
going out next weekend. Alone." Just what I need. Doubling with my  
little sis? Oh yeah, that'd be… awful comes to mind…

"Oh," Dawn looks a little disappointed. "Well, why don't you come,  
anyway? I mean, we're just going to hang out…"

"No! I mean, no, because well, I'm having someone over tonight…"

"WHAT?" Dawn looks a little stunned. "You haven't even dated, and  
you're cheating on him already?" Dawn's intrigued. "Who with?"

"Wanna collect your mind from the gutter? I'm having Willow over…  
we're having a girl's night in…"

"Hey! How come I wasn't invited?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm a girl!"

"Yeah, and you're my sister, and annoying, and you're surgically  
attached to Xander at the hip…wither thou goest, he's there, and  
anyway, we're both dateless and decided to spend some quality time  
together making fun of old movies and gorging on popcorn and ice  
cream. With friends, not annoying siblings!" Buffy gives her a  
look. "You don't see Will bringing her sister, do you?"

"I'm not annoying," Dawn says, tightly, "and Will doesn't have a  
sister!"

"If she did, she wouldn't be coming along. The point is, squirt, I  
see you every day. Why would I want to hang out with you?"

"Mutual! I was going to say, why don't you and Willow come with us  
tonight, but you know what? I don't want to hang with you, either!"

Buffy just rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

"You're a total pig, you know that, Buffy?" Dawn's mouth is a tight  
line. "And you better stop chowing down everything in sight, cuz  
you're starting to get a belly…"

"Well, family harmony is on again, I see."

Both girls freeze, and look up to see Faith standing in the doorway.  
Actually, she's leaning on the doorjamb, wearing jeans, boots, t-  
shirt with the logo "Kiss the girl and make her sigh", and a man's  
striped short sleeve shirt, hanging loose and unbuttoned. She grins  
at the sisters.

"So, do you guys ever get along?" She asks, turning from Buffy to  
Dawn.

Buffy shrugs, but Dawn blushes slightly. She glares at Buffy for a  
moment, smiles crookedly at Faith, then pulling her robe tightly  
around herself, quickly exits upstairs. Faith watches her go, and  
turns back to Buffy, a slightly puzzled look on her face.

"What's with her? I was just teasing…"

"It's Dawn. Who can figure her out? I sure can't," Buffy looks to  
spoon some more cereal, sees it's gone soggy and makes a face. "Guess  
I'm done here…"

"Yeah, I guess so," Faith refers to Dawn. "What were you two fighting  
about this time?"

"I wasn't fighting," Buffy shrugs, carrying her bowl into the  
kitchen.

Faith follows her in, looking at her.

"Really? Cuz, you shoulda told Dawn. She seemed pretty upset."

"Yeah, well, she's all bent because I didn't invite her to a Girls  
night I'm having her tonight…"

"Oh? You clear it with your mom?"

"Well, duh! Yeah, I did. She's cool with it," Buffy rinses out the  
bowl, then puts it to soak. "She's probably happy I'm not out running  
around and stuff…"

"Yeah, probably best, considering…"

Buffy freezes, her back stiffening. She doesn't turn to look at Faith.

"I'm going to tell her, ok?" She says, sotto voce. There's an edge to  
her voice.

"Hey, I didn't say anything."

"Yeah, well, the implications are just rolling off you though,  
right? 'Probably for the best, considering'." She turns to face  
Faith. "Not like it could happen again anyway, right?"

"I just meant, for your health. And the baby's."

"Yeah, well, your concern? Touching." Buffy pushes past her, back  
into the dining room.

Faith stands there for a moment. 10… 9… 8… 7…

She turns, and enters the dining room, sitting down at the table.

"Look, Buff. I'm sorry, ok? I wasn't trying to upset you. I'm just  
worry about you, ok?"

"Yeah, well…" Buffy looks up, and sees Faith's genuinely concerned. "…  
I'm sorry too…" she sighs, and grins lopsidedly. "I am gonna tell  
her, I promise…" She reaches out, not able to quite reach Faith's  
hand. "I want you to be there, too. Please?"

Man, you're so much a con… Faith thinks, not sure whether to be mad,  
amused or actually charmed. She reaches out, touching Buffy's hand.

"The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be, Buff. That's all I'm  
thinking…"

"I know, I know…" Buffy sighs, withdrawing her hand. "Just, it's not  
gonna be easy, and I don't wanna ruin the weekend. Ok? And anyway,  
don't you guys have that date thing?"

"Buffy, do you really think that's important here?" Faith frowns. "We  
don't gotta go to that…" Faith shrugs. "It's just a ballgame."

"No, it's fun. It's you two getting away from here, and for once, mom  
not worrying about anything but spending some time with you. Don't  
you want to spend time with my mom?"

"Well, that's a pretty dumb question, Buffy. Yeah, I do, but this is  
more important…"

"What? I'm going to get UN-pregnant if I don't tell her today?" Buffy  
makes a face. "What's another day or two, Faith? I'm going to tell  
her, and that's gonna ruin it for everyone soon enough. How about we  
just don't do it today?"

Faith knows a wall when she hits it. She backs off, and smiles.

"You sure there isn't some Irish in there?" She teases Buffy, "you've  
got a pretty glib tongue, girl. I almost bought that crap myself, and  
I know it's crap."

"I know you think I'm scamming you, Faith, " Buffy says softly, "I  
know that trying to convince you otherwise is kinda hopeless. I know  
I've caused mom a lot of pain, too. I'm not entirely self involved,  
whatever you think…"

"Buffy, I didn't say that…"

Buffy puts up a hand. "Let me finish, ok? I have caused her a lot of  
pain. And I know when I tell her this, it's just gonna be more pain  
and disappointment for her. So, maybe it's selfish, but it'll be  
easier if it's sweetened with something nice that happened this  
weekend, you know? And I know mom loves being with you, loves you.  
And I get why, too. Cuz you love her like I guess no one's loved her  
before. And I think that's totally cool… she deserves it. So, I'll  
tell you what. You and she go to that game. And have a good time.  
And tomorrow night, I'll tell her. I promise." Buffy's face takes on  
a resolved expression. "Just be sure she has a good time today, ok?"

Faith looks for the scam. She looks for any sign of deception , but  
she can't see any. God, she's either Academy Award material, or she  
means it…

"You mean it?" Faith asks her, a little skeptical.

"Cross my heart, and all that junk," Buffy says, grinning  
ruefully. "So, how long do you think I'll be grounded?"

"18-21 years, I'm guessing," Faith cracks.

"I'm so not ready to be a mom," Buffy says, reality sinking in. "I'm  
so gonna blow this, big time."

She suddenly is up, moving about. She turns to Faith, her voice  
cracking.

"I'm gonna be a horrible mom. I don't have the first idea what I'm  
gonna do, Faith. I don't know what to do!" She closes her eyes,  
trying to catch a breath. "Mom makes it look easy, but I know it's  
not easy, and I'm so fucking scared…" tears start to roll down her  
cheeks.

"Hey, hey, it's gonna be ok…" Faith is up, and takes Buffy in her  
arms. "It's gonna be fine, Buffy. You're gonna do fine… and you got  
the best resource in the world to help you." She pulls Buffy close,  
stroking her hair. "It's all gonna be fine…"

Dawn sits on the third stair, stunned. She only eavesdropped to see  
what Faith would say about her, and now… this… oh my god! Buffy's  
pregnant! No wonder she's been acting crazy… well, crazier than  
usual… ok, now I wish I had just gone upstairs… I don't want to know  
this, I so don't want to know this!!!!

Turning, she rushes upstairs, to the safety of her room so she can  
try to figure this out. rushing towards her room, she almost runs  
into her mother as she turns the corner, .

"Dawn? Honey? What's the hurry?"

"Mom! Oh god, sorry… I … I just forgot something … I need…"

Joyce's mom radar is suddenly spinning like mad. "Dawn, is everything  
all right?"

"Yeah, mom, everything's fine. Everything's… peaches…" Dawn turns to  
go.

"Dawn Marie Summers, hold up right there!"

Oh, crap!

"Ok, what's going on?" Joyce goes up to her. "Why're you acting like  
your tail's on fire, young lady?"

Oh, crap, oh crap, oh crap oh CRAP!!!

"Nothing's going on mom. I told you, I forgot something in my room,  
and I need to get it…"

"Did you have another fight with your sister?" Joyce guesses.

"What?" Dawn seizes on it. "Not a fight, no… not really…"

"Dawn…" Joyce looks at her impatiently. "I don't have time for 20  
questions this morning. What happened?"

"Buffy is like a total pig, you know? She's having this girl's night  
in with Willow tonight, and does she even invite me? No, she doesn't  
and why not? Aren't I a girl? Maybe I'd like to hang out with the  
girls once in awhile, and…"

"That's it? You're upset because Buffy didn't invite you to her…  
whatever it is?" Joyce cocks her head. "Ok, what aren't you telling  
me?"

"Nothing!"

"Dawn, please? I really want today to go well…"

"She called me names, ok? And you know what? I'm tired of her  
treating me like some annoying kid! I'm not a kid! I'm nearly her  
age, and she should start … well, she should start treating me  
better!"

Joyce stands there, looking at Dawn, and wants to burst out laughing.  
I swear, she's becoming more like her sister every day. Oh great,  
another Buffy! That's just what I need… Joyce! That's terrible… and  
so true…

"Dawn, maybe your sister needs some alone time, with you not in it?"

"But mom!"

"No buts, young lady. Anyway, don't you have a date with Xander  
tonight?"

"Well, yeah…"

"So, I don't get it. Buffy's having a get together with Willow,  
because they don't have dates tonight, and you want to be there, with  
them, instead with Xander, because you do?"

"That's so not the point, mom! I want to be asked…"

Joyce shakes her head. Will I make it til she's 18?

"Dawn? Let it go, ok?"

"But mom…"

"Dawn!"

"Ok, ok!" Dawn says, impatiently. "Geeze, you always side with her."

Dawn, in a huff, turns and marches towards her room.

Joyce just wonders at the enigma known as teenaged girl. I wouldn't  
be that age again, for anything!

Dawn, reaching her door, realizes that Buffy and Faith are still  
downstairs. They might still be talking about… it!

Oooooh, Crap!

Dawn rushes down the hall.

"MOM! MOM!"

Joyce, halfway down the stairs, stops and turns.

"What, Dawn?" She sounds on the edge of irritation.

Yeah, what, Dawn?

"Uhhh… I wanted to know where you were going again, MOM?" Dawn's  
voice rises on the last word.

"We're going to be at the Angel's stadium in Anaheim, Remember, I  
told you and Buffy… a couple of times…"

"Oh, right. Duh… must've had a Buffy moment…" Dawn grins. "THANKS,  
MOM!" Again, her voice rises, and feeling she's done all she could,  
she turns and walks away.

Joyce walks her go, then looks up at the ceiling.

"You know, God, I thought you gave me at least one sane daughter!"  
She mutters, turning around and walking down the stairs.

She enters the dining room to find Buffy and Faith sitting at the  
table, chatting about, of all things, baseball.

Buffy is giggling over some insane theory as to why the Red Sox keep  
losing to the Yankees year after year.

"I'm tellin' ya, Buff, it's got absolutely nothing to do with Harry  
Frazee selling Babe Ruth to New York. That's just a myth for the  
tourists, ya know? Actually, I know the real deal, and I got it  
straight from a good source…"

Joyce stands there, knowing Faith is winding up one of her whoppers,  
and again just adores and admires the young woman. God, she could  
charm the pants off of the pope… Well, if he were wearing pants…

"… ya see, it's got nothing to do with that crazy Curse of the  
bambino. That's just total urban legend, you know? What's really  
going on is… well, now don't be spreading this around, because it's  
supposed to be secret, and damn I don't want to be … aw, never mind,  
anyway, it's a curse, all right, but not the curse of the bambino…  
nope…it's a voodoo curse…"

Joyce can't help it. It's so ridiculous, she has to laugh.

Faith and Buffy look up, Faith's face lights up. She gets up and  
throws an arm around Joyce's waist, pulling her close.

"MMMMMMM" Faith kisses Joyce wetly. "Hello, gorgeous!" She gives  
Joyce a pat on the fanny. "Now, I heard that laugh. You're not like  
laughing at me, are ya babe?"

"Nooooo…." Joyce says, her voice merry and musical. "Well, I know you  
hate the Yankees a lot, but Voodoo? Isn't that a bit much?"

"Babe, even George 'Bottomless Pockets' Steinbrenner has limits, ya  
know? And every damned good player cant go play for those pin striped  
phonies! Nope, I'm telling you, and you, Buffy," Faith looks at  
Buffy, who's biting her bottom lip to keep from guffawing with  
laughter, "… old Bags of Gold Steinbrenner has hired some evil  
Houngan witchdoctor dude to curse Boston. And it's been handed down  
to him from the former owners… c'mon, it's gotta be something like  
that. How can those Yankee pricks like win 26 World Series titles in  
like 80 years or so, and Boston only play in 4 lousy series, and win  
NONE? I mean, I'm tellin ya, they were cursed. But not because they  
traded fat boy. Uh-uh. It was some dumb Yankee voodoo curse, and I  
got it on good authority!"

"Really, sweetie?" Joyce plays dumb. "Who?"

"I could tell ya, baby," Faith says, in a stage whisper, "but then  
I'd have to kill ya."

There's a pause, then both Buffy and Joyce burst out laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh… but you explain it, ok? New York is loser town.  
Everybody knows it, well…everybody from Boston, anyway, and how did  
they manage that little trick with the World Series? Huh? I'm tellin'  
ya, it's magic of the voodoo kind, and it's only when the Bosox  
finally got their own voodoo guy to break the spell that we started  
winning…"

Joyce hushes Faith's nonsense by kissing her again. Buffy, watching,  
grabs her neck and starts making gagging noises.

"Yeah, ok Buff? That was funny the first hundred times, but it's  
getting old, you know? Gotta come up with something new," Faith  
teases her.

"I would, but I start gagging every time you guys start getting  
touchy feely here, and well, I can't think when I can't breathe…" She  
stands up, and heads for the doorway. "I think I need a shower now,  
anyway…"

"No kidding, Blondie," Faith waves her hand.

Buffy glares at her.

"Buffy?" Joyce steps to her daughter, stopping her.

"What, mom?" Buffy sounds a little impatient. "I was only kidding…"

"I know honey. It's not about that. It's about Dawn. Did you two have  
a fight or something this morning?"

"What? No!" Buffy shakes her head. "That little weasel! What's her  
deal? She got all bent outta shape when I didn't invite her to my  
girl's night in with Willow … like I want to hang out with my little  
sister!"

"Still, dear, she feels upset by it… would it have hurt you to ask  
her? She probably would've said no…"

"Oh geeze… mom, do you know how…" She catches Joyce's look, and bites  
her tongue. " God, what? Don't I see her enough? Why should I ask her  
to hang out with me and Will? Does she like ask me along on her dates  
with Xander?"

"Buffy, that's different…"

"How? Cuz Willow's a girl, and Xander's a guy? Or, do you think like  
maybe Willow and I are gonna be making out all night or something?"

"Buffy, of course not…" Joyce gives her daughter a strange look.  
Buffy returns an irritated look. "I'm just saying, your sister has  
feelings, and you should consider them…"

"Oh, I see. Cuz I want to hang out with my friend, Willow, and I  
don't want Annoying ever after around, I'm being what? A bitch now?"

"Buffy, I didn't say that…"

"You kinda implied it, mom. Here's what I'm saying. It's all good and  
all that Dawn thinks I'm treating her unfairly when I want to hang  
with friends without her, but when she hangs out with her friends,  
does she invite me along? I don't think so…"

Joyce stands there, frustrated. Much as she hates it, Buffy has a  
point. She uses the oldest mom fallback in the book.

"Just talk to her, ok?"

"Oh, I'm gonna talk to her…" Buffy starts up the stairs.

"Buffy! Be nice! If you two are just going to bicker, maybe I can't  
leave you guys alone for the day…"

Buffy freezes in her tracks. That little… I'm gonna kill her!

"Look, mom, I won't yell at the squirt, or nothing. I'll even be  
nice. Just, don't let her ruin your date, ok?"

Joyce stands there, confused. Who IS this girl?

"Buffy, that's not the point…"

"That's exactly the point, mom. You and Faith… you don't get enough…  
I dunno… fun time together, you know? You really need this, I'm  
thinking. I mean, your relationship can't just be all about doom and  
gloom and stuff. Go on, I promise. I'll suss out Dawn. Maybe she's  
just transferring her crush of Faith to Willow. Maybe she's got a  
thing for gay girls. I dunno…" Buffy shrugs, and proceeds upstairs.

Joyce stares after her daughter's retreating form, then turns to  
Faith, who shrugs.

"You know what? I'm starting to believe that voodoo story of yours…"

The two of them walk into the dining room.

Buffy strides down the hall towards Dawn's room, her irritation  
growing with each step. Reaching the door, she knocks once, and  
opens it, catching Dawn pulling on her jeans. Dawn glares at her.

"Hey, ever hear of knocking?"

"I knocked."

"Ever hear of waiting to be allowed in?" Dawn shimmies around,  
pulling up a pair of obviously tight jeans. "What do you want,  
anyway, Buffy?"

"What's your deal, Dawn? Why did you go to mom this morning, trying  
to make trouble? What, you jealous cuz she and Faith are going out on  
a date? What is your trauma, anyway?"

Dawn stares at her, a mixture of amusement and anger on her face. She  
beckons Buffy to come in.

"Close the door. You might not want anyone to hear this."

Buffy, thrown a little, does what she says.

"Ok, brat. What's the cloak and dagger stuff about. What's going on  
in that calcified knob you call a head?"

Dawn frowns, clearly annoyed.

"You know what? Forget it. Get out. I really don't want to talk to  
you…"

"Well, we're gonna, cuz I want to know what the heck is going on with  
you. Why would you even care if me and Willow hang out, and more, why  
bring mom into it…"

"Look, Buffy, I'm sorry about that, ok?" Dawn says, lips tight. "I  
just couldn't think of anything else, and I had to stop her…"

"What're you talking about?" Buffy shakes her head. "Stop her from  
what?"

"Catching you. And Faith…"

"Ok, stop right there!" Buffy comes over to Dawn, clearly  
angry. "This jealousy crap? This obsession with Faith crap? You  
really got a get a handle on it, Dawn. Now you're imagining I'm…"

"Get real! You know what I mean…"

"Not a clue, squirt."

"Oh, really?" Dawn arches a brow. "How long, Buffy?"

Buffy looks at her like she's lost her mind. "What're you babbling  
about now? How long what?"

"How long have you been pregnant?"

2

"Good morning, Father."

Cordelia's tone is cool as she walks into the breakfast nook next to  
the kitchen in the Chase household. Carrying a cup of coffee, she's  
wearing a rather sheer shorty robe, and a pair of less than modest  
panties. She sits down, as far from Avery as she can.

Avery glances up from his paper, his gaze sweeping over his daughter  
as she sits. His expression is irritated, edged by amusement.

"You know, Cordelia. If you're that chilly, perhaps you should wear  
something a bit more substantial." He looks back at his paper,  
ignoring her mood. "I trust you slept well. Once you stopped boffing  
your girlfriend, that is…"

Cordelia, despite herself, blushes lightly. She just glares at  
Avery's paper.

"How is Harmony, by the way? I found her most… surprising, myself."

"What are you talking about?" Cordelia's tone is still less than  
friendly, and she tries to sound bored.

"Didn't she tell you? I'm rather surprised." Avery's mouth is a tight  
line, but his eyes are dancing.

Cordelia doesn't answer, her look says it all.

"Very well, then, I'll tell you," Avery says, moving closer around  
the nook. "I had a little visit from your friend, Harmony, the other  
day. She had the most interesting proposition…"

Cordelia looks bored. "Do you think I don't know you're fucking  
around with Harmony? Hello, dad, I brought her to you…"

"Oh, no… this wasn't about that. Though we did have some fun, too.  
That girl is a talented little slut, I'll give her that…" Avery  
grins. "No, surprisingly, this wasn't the usual self absorbed  
teenaged crap I expect from the sluts you bring me, Cordelia. As I  
said, she quite surprised me…" Avery smiles at the memory.

"I'm sure there's a point to this, isn't there?" Cordelia yawns. "I  
mean, otherwise, I think I'll just go back to bed… not that listening  
to your sexcapades with Harmony might not be amusing, except I've  
heard them all before…"

"Clever, dear, very clever. But this wasn't about Harmony, as you  
well know…"

"I'm sorry, but you lost me a couple of turnoffs ago…" Cordelia  
sounds as impatient as she feels.

"Oh, very good, darling girl. Very good!" Avery smiles coldly. "I'd  
almost believe myself…"

"Look, if you're going to play games, I think I'll just leave now…"  
Cordelia starts to get up. Avery grabs her arm, pulling her back. "Do  
you mind?"

"Actually, I do mind," Avery says quietly. "Sit down, Cordelia."

Cordelia feels her stomach clench.

"What do you want now?" Cordelia says through clenched teeth.

"Aren't I allowed to have a chat with my own daughter?" Avery smiles  
softly. "I just wanted to tell you what happened between Miss Kendall  
and myself. Aren't you the least bit curious?"

"You want the truth?" Cordelia says, her lips tight, "…or a stroke?"

Avery's eyes flash briefly, and for a moment Cordelia thinks she may  
have pushed it too far. She can almost feel the steel ruler across  
her most intimate places…again.

Then Avery smiles, and he gently strokes Cordelia's arm, sighing.

"Well, humor your old dad, ok?" He smiles warmly, throwing Cordelia  
completely. "It's not often enough that I get to praise you for  
cleverness."

"I'm still lost here…"

"Shhh… I get it, it's ok." He holds up a hand. "We'll play your game.  
Guess what your little girlfriend came to see me about yesterday. Go  
ahead, Cordelia… guess…"

"Maybe she was tired of pussy, and wanted a little dick. I really  
don't have a clue here, dad…" She makes a slightly disgusted  
face. "And frankly, I'm getting kind of bored."

"Really? How odd," Avery leans back, staring at his near naked  
daughter. "I thought anything concerning Miss Rosenberg fascinated  
you…"

"What?" Cordelia's voice is soft, and her stomach is churning. "What  
about her?"

Avery nods his head.

"So good, so convincing." He smiles. "Ok, well, it seems your Miss  
Kendall has a real beef with Miss Rosenberg. Jealousy, I suppose."

"Tell me something I don't know?"

"We're getting there, dear. Well, she came to me yesterday with a  
proposition."

"Boring, again…" Cordelia feigns indifference, but inside her heart  
is beating fast. What the fuck is he playing at here?

"It seems Miss Kendall is well aware of my… interest… in Miss  
Rosenberg, and is willing to deliver her up…"

"What?" Cordelia stares at him. "What're you saying?" All pretense of  
indifference is gone.

"I'm saying, Miss Kendall said she could get Willow … Miss Rosenberg  
… for me… if I allow her to watch her being… well, I think the term  
is broken in?"

Cordelia feels her insides grow icy. She stares at Avery, not saying  
a word.

"I admit, I was somewhat surprised. I mean, I know Miss Kendall hates  
Miss Rosenberg's guts. But I thought you kept her on a pretty short  
leash. Why all of a sudden, would she break that leash?"

Cordelia remains silent, her eyes narrowed.

"I thought, at first, that jealousy had won out. She knows your…  
obsession with this girl, and she hated it. Hated it so much, that  
she'd risk your ire. Just to watch Willow… how did she put it? Oh  
yes… destroyed. How charming…" Avery nods. "She did very well. I  
actually believed for the longest time it was her idea. We even had a  
celebratory… game… over it. Yes, she was very good…in more than one  
way…"

"I told you before, you leave Willow alone…" Cordelia's voice is  
hard. "I don't care what you do to me, just let her alone!"

"Bravo!" Avery claps, mockingly. "So convincing, dear, so very…real."  
He leans forward. "As I said, I bought it, hook, line and …well… I  
did then. And for most of last night…"

"But something bothered me. Something she said. About you thanking  
her, after all was said and done. And you know what, dear? It just  
didn't fit. I know my daughter pretty well…" He leans closer. "She  
doesn't like being defied, any more than I do. I think it's a genetic  
thing. My father was the same way…" He smiles tightly, remembering  
his father. "And I know while Miss Kendall is pretty… well, stupid is  
too mild a word, she's clever enough to know not to screw up a good  
thing. So, why would she suddenly come to me with something she'd  
know would displease you? It made me think…"

Avery neatly folds up his paper, all the while his eyes fixed on his  
daughter.

"And it came to me this morning, after I woke. Of course. Perfect. My  
daughter came through for me, after all. Oh, she couldn't just 'give'  
Miss Rosenberg to me… that would be …dangerous. After all, her little  
tryst was known at school. If Willow were so foolish as to… well,  
tell the wrong person about our little… fun… there might be  
repercussions. Particularly to you…" Avery smiles. "But you've  
managed to get what I want, and make it look like you had absolutely  
nothing to do with it. Perfect, my dear. Utterly brilliant. No  
average person could piece it together…certainly not Miss Rosenberg,  
whom I'm sure you have plans for after I've finished with her… She'll  
probably fall at your feet, kissing you for 'trying to protect her'.  
Oh, very good, very good indeed."

Cordelia glares at him, furious.

"Oh, still with the game. Still don't trust me? I see… very well,  
we'll play it your way…" Avery's smile fades, and his eyes harden. "I  
told you before, young lady. I always get exactly what I want. I want  
Miss Rosenberg, and I'll have her… with or without your assistance,"  
his face softens, just a hair. "Don't worry, darling girl. I won't  
spill your secret… not even to Miss Rosenberg!" He stands up,  
grabbing the paper. "Well, I must be off. Some of us actually have to  
work around here. Do enjoy your day."

He leaves Cordelia sitting there, stewing

And stew she does, sitting there staring out into space. The anger,  
the hurt and rage build up in her

Harmony! What the hell have you done?!!! Cordelia rises to her feet,  
and starts walking back to her room.

Her fury builds as she goes. Harm, I've put up with your petty crap  
for too goddam long. You've crossed a line, girl. You're so gonna pay  
for it!

Reaching her room, she opens the door, striding quickly to her bed.

Harmony is laying there, turned on her side, sleeping. Her long  
blonde hair is splayed over the pillow, like a star's corona.

Cordelia, despite herself, feels her rage seep away. She tries to  
stoke it back up, bring back the fire, but she can't. Looking at  
Harmony lying there, so trusting, so sure Cordelia would never really  
hurt her; even after what happened at school, touches Cordelia deeply.

Why Harm? Why did you do it?

But she knows why. Even more than the jealousy, Harmony is protective  
of her. She did it to get Avery off her back, give her some kind of  
peace. I can fix this. No one needs to get hurt… Cordelia looks down  
at the sleeping girl

She realizes something else. Deep down, on some level, she needs  
Harmony, as much as Harmony needs her. She needs someone who trusts  
her without question, without remorse. Someone she can hold onto when  
it gets too bad.

Like now.

As quietly as possible, Cordelia shucks her robe, and slips into bed  
next to Harmony. She slips her arms around the girl, and buries her  
face in her shoulder.

"Cor?" Harmony, eyes heavy, mumbles .

"Hey, yeah… who'd you think it would be?" Cordelia smiles. "Go back  
to sleep, baby."

" k" Harmony shifts around, and finally turns on her side.

Cordelia adjusts, spooning into her back. Her head rests on Harmony's  
shoulder.

Just as so much her life does.

3

"So, Buffy. You going to answer me, or just stand there with your  
mouth open, looking stupid?"

Dawn, sitting on her bed, stares at her sister, trying to see if she  
can see any changes in Buffy. She cocks her head left, then right,  
but really, Buffy just looks like… Buffy to her.

"Look, squirt, I don't know who's been telling you this crap, but…"  
Buffy plays a bluff.

"You did, about… 10 minutes ago…" Dawn smiles. "I heard you and Faith  
talking."

Buffy loses the bluff. And any pretense at cool.

"You… little weasel!" Buffy, flushing red, strides over to Dawn,  
getting in her face. She pushes her. "You were eavesdropping? Don't  
you even know anything about privacy?"

"Don't you know how to keep your legs closed, Buffy?" Dawn sneers at  
her. "Oh, look, daddy's perfect little girl winds up knocked up. So,  
what're you gonna tell dad, huh? How about Mom? She's gonna love  
this. After all the crap you pulled? And Oz? Think he's not gonna  
dump you after he learns what a slut you are?"

SLAP!

Buffy slaps Dawn across the face, hard.

Dawn grins, holding her cheek.

"Well, what else could I expect from you, huh, Buffy?" Pushing Buffy,  
she gets up and walks over to the mirror, checking out her cheek. "I  
guess that's how you deal with everything, isn't it, Buff? You don't  
like the truth, so you punch it." She rubs her cheek.

"Look, Dawn, I'm sorry…" Buffy comes over, trying to smooth it out.

"You're not the least bit sorry, Buffy," Dawn whirls on her, face  
flushed angrily. "You love this! You love all the drama! You love  
making everyone miserable! You can't stand people being happy for  
five minutes. You just keep stirring up trouble, making yourself the  
center of attention, because, well…' Poor me, daddy left and I'm so  
sad so I'm gonna get all bitchy and moody and make all sorts of  
trouble for everyone!'… well, it's really getting old, Buffy. No one  
likes you. Ever figure out why?"

Buffy stands there, ashen faced. She doesn't say a word.

"No, I guess not. That would take being honest with yourself, and  
heaven forefend you should do that! Well, here's the scoop. It's  
because, you don't give a crap about anybody whose name isn't Buffy!  
All you've ever cared about is you. Being popular, being a  
cheerleader, being the Queen of High School. That was all you were  
about. Being on top, that's what you cared about."

"You're wrong," Buffy protests weakly.

"Am I? C'mon, Buffy, look, really look at yourself!" Dawn grabs her,  
forcing Buffy to look in the mirror. "Look at you, Buffy! Think of  
everything you've done for as long as I can remember. It's always  
been 'me, me, me' with you! You don't like Cordelia much, do you?"

"No," Buffy replies, quietly.

"Ever figure that's because you're exactly like her?"

"T-That's not true," Buffy says. She looks away, not able to look at  
Dawn in the eyes.

"Really? Gee, let's review here. Cordelia feels threatened, she does  
a search and destroy mission. Or didn't you figure out that's why she  
was being chummy with you? You must've known she felt threatened by  
you."

Buffy nods, not speaking.

"Now, let's look at you. Back when you were in power, just like  
Cordelia. Remember Dina Morehouse? Remember what you did to her?"  
Dawn shoves her towards the mirror. "She was no real threat to you,  
she just wanted to be a cheerleader. But you…" She shoves Buffy  
towards the mirror. "What did you do, Buffy? Do you remember?"

"Let me alone. Let go of me!" Buffy struggles, but not too much.

"She came to you, Buffy, cuz she thought she was your friend. She  
wasn't a threat to what you were. You were captain of the squad. She  
just wanted to be on it. And what did you do?"

Buffy is beginning to hate the girl staring back at her from the  
mirror. She looks away, ashamed.

"Yeah, you know what you did, don't you. You made her life miserable  
at Hemery. You had that bitch, Janet Stevens, spread rumors about  
her. Just because she happened to be gay. She was no threat, but she  
creeped you out, and you didn't want her around." She gives Buffy a  
stern look. "Sound familiar? Sound like someone we know?"

"Cordelia," Buffy's voice is so low, it's hard to hear.

"Yeah, Cordelia. So, Buffy, how are you any different from her?"

"I… I … guess I'm not …" Buffy stammers.

"Sometimes it's hard to see it, Buffy. Because of all the crap you've  
pulled lately. That whole thing with the Fraternity, getting Faith  
fired and kicked out of school. Even then, still sucking up to  
Cordelia, because you wanted to be back, have your power back. Not  
even seeing what you were doing to the people around you, the people  
who care about you. You just went on and on, doing what you do best.  
Thinking about yourself, first, last and always."

Buffy stares at herself in the mirror, frowning. God, you are a  
totally selfish bitch, aren't you Buffy? Couldn't you see what you  
were doing? What's wrong with you?

"On the other hand, Buff… you did take a lot of crap, once you  
finally got a clue and figured out that Cordelia was evil. Willow  
told me about how you stood up for her, when everyone was attacking  
her. Man, I would've loved being there to see you spit in Cordelia's  
face."

Buffy can't help smiling at the memory. She loved the expression on  
Cordelia's face when her spittle was dripping off it.

"You took a lot of crap for that. And you took it without whining.  
Sometimes, Buff, you can be incredibly tough. And much as I hate to  
admit it, I admire that about you. When you're for someone, you  
really put your heart in it."

"That doesn't change the fact I was a totally selfish bitch though,  
does it?"

"No, really doesn't. And you're at it again. How could you be so  
stupid as to get pregnant? You know better, there's lots of stuff to  
prevent it, I mean, if you can't control your own hormones… I guess I  
get that… still, you didn't have to …" Dawn shakes her head,  
disgusted. "You're right back at square one. It's all about you…"

"You really hate me, don't you?" Buffy says, to the mirror and to  
Dawn. "I guess I kinda deserve it…"

"No, Buffy. Again, you're not getting it." Dawn shakes her head. "You  
being pregnant isn't just about you. It's about me, and mom, and  
Faith and a lot of other people. People who, for some strange reason,  
care about you." Dawn comes over, and puts her arms around her  
sister. "I don't hate you, stupid. I love you. I don't have a choice,  
you're my sister." She leans her head on Buffy's shoulder. "But you  
can't be just Buffy now. You gotta be more, because you got a new  
life growing in you. Someone who's gonna depend on you for  
everything. You can't be selfish Buffy anymore, and hey…" She hugs  
Buffy," wouldn't hurt if you didn't practice that on those around you  
who love you. Maybe, like trusting them with things…like this?"

Buffy's head slumps to the side, and her face scrunches up. She  
starts to cry, sobbing and shaking in Dawn's arms.

Dawn hugs her tighter, stroking her face and wiping her tears.

"C'mon, sis. Don't get all weepy on me. I like tough Buffy too." She  
rocks her gently in her arms. "I love you sis, even if you make me  
insane sometimes."

Buffy turns towards Dawn, her eyes puffy and nose running. Dawn  
laughs, and releasing Buffy, gets a tissue off her dresser. She comes  
back and cleans her up. "You really look like crap when you get all  
weepy…"

"I love you, Dawnie. You know that, right?" Buffy sniffles, taking  
the tissue and blowing her nose.

"Ok, ok, that's enough. Getting mushy on me, munchkin? Not your  
style…"

There's a knock at the door. Dawn looks at Buffy, who nods and then  
walks over to the bed, facing away from the door. Dawn walks over and  
opens it.

"Hey," Faith walks into the room, "your mom got busy last night and  
forgot to pick up the tickets she ordered. I was just gonna go pick  
them up, and wondered if you wanted to…" She notices Buffy sitting on  
the bed, facing the window. "Something going on here?"

"No, nothing, "Dawn answers quickly. "We were just talking."

Faith can feel the tension in the air. She nods, and walks over to  
Buffy.

"Really? What about?" She puts her hand on Buffy's shoulder. "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm great, Faith," Buffy says quietly, clearing her  
throat. "We were just gossiping…"

"Cool beans," Faith drops down on the bed beside Buffy, and turns to  
Dawn. "What's the dirt?"

Dawn stands there, nervously. The fact that Faith is staring at her  
with her large, chocolate eyes isn't helping her nervousness. She  
can't really think of anything to say.

"Uhhh… Well… ummm…"

Buffy lets out a sigh, and turns around. " Forget it, Dawn. We're not  
fooling anybody…" She turns to Faith, who sees her red face and puffy  
eyes. "She knows, Faith. She heard us talking downstairs."

Faith's lips make a little "O", and she looks at Dawn, who nods.  
Taking another quick glance at Buffy, she walks over and closes  
Dawn's door.

"No, she doesn't," Faith says, back to the door, facing the  
others. "She doesn't know anything."

"What? I just told you, she was snooping and…"

"I so wasn't snooping!" Dawn protests.

"There's no time for that," Faith cuts it off. "The point is, as of  
right now, Dawn still doesn't know you're pregnant, understand?"

Both girls look at her quizzically.

"Buffy, your little secret is becoming the most public secret …ever.  
Everyone is starting to be in on the know… everyone except maybe the  
one person who should know? Capice?"

Buffy colors a little bit. "I don't know what you mean. I mean, I  
only told you and Willow…"

"Willow knows?" Dawn looks amazed. "Since when?"

Faith gives Buffy an 'I-told-you-so' look. "See what I mean?"

"Do you think that was smart, Buffy? I mean, I love Will and all… but  
she might have told Xander…" Dawn's face suddenly reddens. "Wait.  
Xander knew and he didn't tell me?"

"She didn't tell Xander!" Buffy throws up her hands, " What makes you  
think that?"

"Well, duh, Buffy. They're like this…" Dawn crosses her fingers,"…  
she tells him everything…when they're not on the outs…"

"Well, she swore she wouldn't tell anyone else, and I believe her!"

"Stop! That's not the point… well, not exactly. The point is, Buffy,  
your mom deserves some respect here. How do you think she's gonna  
feel if she thinks she's the last one to know?" Faith walks over and  
sits down next to her, patting her leg. "Look, not trying to be harsh  
here, babe. I'm just saying, your mom's done a lot for you over the  
years, and you gotta come outta Buffyworld there for a moment, and  
consider how she might feel if she thinks you don't trust her enough  
to come to her with something like this… she's your mom, Buff. You  
gotta respect that."

"Yeah, how do you think I feel?" Dawn says, crossing her arms over  
her chest. "You told Willow about it, but not even me! I'm your  
sister, Buffy…"

Faith throws her a look, and Dawn subsides .

"Well, I am!" Dawn huffs, then throws up her hands. "Ok, ok. I don't  
know. Geeze…." Making a disgusted noise, she walks over and plops  
down on the chair by her desk.

"Do you see what I'm getting at her, Buff? I just think your mom  
deserves some respect, is all…"

"I got it," Buffy says, a little petulantly, "no one knows. It's a  
big fat secret." Buffy pushes off the bed, and walks towards the door.

"Where you going, Buffy?"

"To my room, if that's ok? I think I've had more than enough family  
time for the moment."

"Buffy, c'mon. There's no need to get pissy about it. I'm right, you  
know," Faith stands up, and walks over to her. "You can see my point  
here, can't you?"

Buffy rolls her eyes. "Not stupid Faith. Well, maybe I am. Right now?  
Wish I hadn't told anyone, you know?"

With that, she walks out the door.

While Faith stands there, staring at the doorway and experiencing  
another round of the 'Will I ever figure that girl out' game, Dawn  
seems to verbalize her thoughts.

"What's her problem, anyway? God, what a total brat!"

"What were you two talking about when I came up, anyway?"

"Uhhh… nothing, really…" Dawn withers a little under Faith's gaze.

"Didn't sound like nothing… and Buffy was crying and all…"

"Sister stuff, ok?" Dawn says defensively, not wanting to explain  
exactly why Buffy was crying, or how she got there.

"Uhhh…" Faith grunts, knowing a stone wall when she's hit it. Lotta  
crap, but don't think she's gonna fess up in this lifetime… "So, I  
guessing you're saying, butt out, that it?"

"Kinda, yeah," Dawn doesn't want Faith angry at her, "Just… you  
wouldn't be interested, you know?"

"Sure…" Faith nods, heading for the door. "Just remember she's your  
sister, ok? She deserves some respect…

"Hey, how about her respecting me? "

"If ya let me finish, I was gonna say, like you…"

"Oh…" Dawn blushes, "… sorry"

"Yeah, well, no big…" Faith turns, and opens the door. "Guess I  
better go get those tickets."

Dawn, despite her own resolve, can't seem to keep her eyes from  
wandering down, admiring the way Faith's ass fills out her jeans. She  
gets a slightly warm feeling in her tummy. Dawn, Stop staring.

"Coming?"

"WHAT?" Dawn blushes furiously.

Faith looks over her shoulder, grinning. "That's why I came up here,  
remember? Wanted to know if you wanted to go with me to pick up the  
tickets?"

"Oh…right, the tickets…" Dawn recovers enough to act casual. "I dunno…  
I have plans with Xander…"

"Oh. Cool. Ok, then, seeya later…" Faith starts out through the door.

"WAIT!"

Faith stops, and turns around, to see Dawn, holding her robe together  
with one hand, rushing to catch up.

"What? Thought you had plans with tall, dark and high school…"

"I do, and his name is Xander, ok? But…" Dawn shrugs, trying to  
regain her cool factor. "… well, I'm supposed to meet him downtown,  
and since you gotta go downtown anyway to get the tickets, figured I  
could ride along…" Faith stares at dawn.

"Yeah, sure, whatever…" Faith grins. "Just, planning on going on your  
date like that?" She gives Dawn a sweeping glance.

"Huh?" Dawn looks down, realizing she's still in her robe,jeans and  
no top. " Uhhh… can I have five minutes? Uh, ten minutes?"

"Yeah, sure, just not too long, ok? We gotta get on the road to L.A.  
before the traffic gets too bad." Faith turns and walks away.

Dawn quickly loses the robe, rushes to her closet and mulls over what  
to wear.

You're so transparent. Ride to town to meet Xander. God, you really  
think she bought that?

Still… got the ride, didn't I?

Dawn picks another pair of jeans, matching top and starts to dress.  
She grins a little as she wiggles into her jeans.

Maybe things aren't so bad today, after all…

Things, from her perspective, are getting a lot better than when it  
started.

4

Willow lets out an impatient sigh.

She wonders if she's ever going to find a way to get out of the  
living room, and sneak out of this little party her parents threw for  
his confirmation as Chazzan of the Temple.

She'd figured that once his buddies showed up, she'd find a way to  
excuse herself and make with the scarce. But for some reason, Ira  
Rosenberg seemed to suss out her desire to leave, and made it a  
personal mission to see that his daughter was in attendance until the  
bitter end. It was almost as if he wanted to show off for her.

That's a laugh. Show off for me? I don't think so! More, he's  
torturing me.

Willow almost jumps when she feels her cell phone vibrate in her  
pocket. Looking up, seeing no one watching her, she turns around, and  
flips open the lid.

Instead of a call, there's a text message:

Have to see you. Need to talk. It's important! C.

Willow rolls her eyes. Crap, she's been doing this all day. Can't she  
get a clue?

Willow quickly texts back a reply:

Can't. Family thing. Sorry.

She pockets the phone, and starts to turn back when it vibrates  
again. Geeze, what's with her?

Please! It's important! Meet me! C.

Forget it. Cordelia. I know what you want. You want to dump on me for  
standing up to you in school. Not gonna happen.

No!

Ok, can she even… shit! The phone goes off again.

Don't be so stubborn! Meet me! C.

Always the sweet talker, huh, Cor?

What part of No didn't you get?

There, that should…

Please! Please! Please, please, PLEASE!!!

Willow shuts off the phone. God, you're so stubborn! Get a clue, and  
a life that doesn't include…

"Are you done?"

Willow looks up to see her father standing over her, frowning at her.

"I'm sorry, I …" She blushes a little..

"Come with me," Ira says, turning and walking out of the room, into  
the kitchen.

Willow follows, noticing the stares of the others. She feels a little  
more than foolish.

"What's so important, Willow Danielle Rosenberg, that you can't even  
put that stupid toy away even at a time like this? Do you think I get  
made Chazzan at Temple every day?" He turns on her as she enters.

"No, sir," Willow says, chastised. Damn that Cordelia Chase! Even  
when she's not trying, she makes my life miserable. "I'm sorry, dad,  
really. I didn't mean to …"

"You didn't mean to. That's the story of your life, Willow, " Ira  
sighs, "You do these crazy things, and then you expect everyone to  
just overlook it, because well… you think you're special." He shakes  
his head. "I try to include you in something important to me, because  
well… I wanted you to be part. I tried to reach out here, make you  
part of things, and what do you do?"

"It wasn't me, dad! I didn't start it. The girl just won't let me  
alone!"

"Swell. My daughter, the Don Juan of the lesbian set. Couldn't you  
tell this little… friend … of yours that you were busy?"

"I did!" Willow protests. "I can't help she doesn't listen."

"Of course not," Ira frowns. "You couldn't even think to shut off  
your phone, could you?"

"Dad…"

"Don't, ok?" He puts up his hands to stop her. "I guess you couldn't  
even give up one lousy day of your life to spend some time in mine.  
Ok, fine. That's just fine." He shrugs, resignedly. "Just go, ok?  
You've been champing at the bit to be out of here, so just go…"

"Dad, please. I'm sorry about the phone thing, but I want to stay…"

"Don't lie to me, Willow!" Ira, upset, brings his hand down on the  
counter. "You couldn't make it clearer that you'd rather be anywhere  
else but here. So, I'm letting you off the hook. Sorry I wasted your  
time. Now go!" He turns, and starts towards the door. "Why did I even  
try?" He mutters.

"Try? You call this trying?"

"Excuse me? You're still here? Why is that?" Ira turns back, grim  
faced.

"You call this trying? For what? Two years now, you've ignored me,  
practically, right? You won't barely speak to me, or look at me, or  
acknowledge I exist! Now, all of a sudden, you decide to include me,  
and I'm supposed to what? Do cartwheels? Care? Why should I care, if  
you don't? Tell me that, Dad!"

"What you're doing is a SIN!" Ira explodes, losing his grip on  
calm. "Do you even realize that? You fornicate with women! That's  
spitting in the eye of God, and his plan for creation. Do you even  
UNDERSTAND that, young lady? Do you even understand it's the worst  
sin, because you deny God's purpose every time you…." He bites on his  
fist, to stop his words, the thought too vile to him to think. "How  
am I supposed to act when you spit on everything I believe? You tell  
me you're a faigelah, you act like a Meshugeneh, and I'm supposed to  
what? K'velen? Is that what you expect from me, kinderlech? What do  
you expect? What do you want from me?"

"Nothing, dad," Willow says quietly, seeing him with new  
eyes. "Nothing at all."

They stand, staring at each other. A few feet apart; separated by a  
chasm a thousand miles wide.

"You should go now, be with your friends," Ira gestures towards the  
back door. "And I should get back to my guests."

"Yeah…" Willow walks towards the back door, and stops, turning  
around. "Mazel Tov, dad, on being chosen Chazzan."

"Thank you, " Ira says, staring at her.

Both don't move for a moment. They know something fundamental is  
broken here. Neither knows how to fix it.

"Bye, dad," Willow slips out the door, not looking back.

"Be safe, kinderlech," He says and turns, returning to the party.

Buffy rushes around the living room, picking this up, fluffing up  
that pillow on the sofa, generally doing her best to make everything  
just perfect for the little 'girls' night in' she has planned with  
Willow.

She wants everything to be just so tonight. Everything has to be  
perfect tonight. Somewhere she realizes that it might be her last  
night to be a kid… really a kid. It's something she doesn't want to  
waste.

She looks at the clock, and notices it's past four. Where is she?  
Why hasn't she called? Did she forget?

Buffy shakes her head at the idea, and turns, rushing off to see how  
the cookies she's been baking are coming.

I hope she likes chocolate-chocolate chip cookies, Buffy thinks,  
peeking into the oven. Ok, who am I kidding? Who doesn't? She drools  
a little as the smell of baking chocolate cookies fills the air.  
Testing them, judging them perfect, she pulls the two cookie sheets  
out and sets them on the counter to cool.

Then she's off, in another direction, hoping by keeping busy she'll  
avoid the thoughts that have been plaguing her all day.

Finally she just runs out of things to do, and stops, in the middle  
of the living room, staring out the window.

And the thoughts she's been avoiding come rushing up to the front of  
her mind.

Who do I think I'm kidding here, anyway? This isn't normal… none of  
this is normal, anymore. I'm not normal girl, and Dawn's right. This  
isn't just about me. This affects everyone… Dawn, Faith… Mom… Oz…

Damn. Oz. That's so over… Buffy laughs dryly. Like, there was ever a  
chance, really. Oh yeah, he's gonna love that his potential  
girlfriend turns out to be a big old pregnant slut. What guy wouldn't  
want that, huh? Oh yeah, soon as he learns I'm baking something in  
the EZ Bake oven here, it's bye, bye Daniel. Can you say dumped like  
yesterday's trash? That's what I am, isn't it?

And can you just see mom's face when I tell her I'm knocked up? Oh,  
the pride, the joy that'll be there… Buffy hangs her head, hair  
covering her face. Shit, can't I ever stop disappointing her? God, I  
don't even think I can take that look again. Like, it hurt to just  
look at me… shit, shit SHIT I know she'll try to hide it. She'll be  
all supportive, and try not to let me see how she's really feeling.  
But does she think I'm that blind? When she looks at me, and sees  
total slut who can't keep her legs together, doesn't she figure I'll  
see it there, in her eyes? In the glances she gives me? The way she…  
just knows I'll somehow screw up raising the kid. Forget college,  
that won't be happening. Good old Buffy, get a job at the Double Meat  
palace, cuz that's about all I'll know how to do… yup, just more for  
mom to be proud of.

Know what, Junior? Buffy looks down at her belly, and sighs. I'm  
thinking, you're mom's pretty much a dunce. Totally. You're gonna be  
smarter though, aren't you? I mean, if you're a girl. You're not  
gonna like let anyone knock you up, are you? Not even if you love  
him. Love him so much, you'll do anything to keep him from leaving…  
and then fall in love with him? Buffy laughs bitterly. Right, like I  
even know what love is, right? Cuz, I'm the expert here, right?

How you think Dad's going to take it, knowing he's going to be a  
daddy again? I dunno… I just don't. I know he's not gonna love me  
anymore. I mean, once I blow up like a balloon, think he's not gonna  
go out looking for a slimmer, sleeker model? Oh yeah, lay book on  
it. Buffy gets a chill in her heart, thinking about it. Realizing  
that she'll be very jealous if Hank starts playing around on her.  
How could he do that? What kind of man is he, anyway? I'm carrying  
his baby, his child. How could he…

Get a grip, ok? Not like it's real. It's all your stupid fantasies,  
Buffy. The only thing real here, is you, isn't it, Junior? She  
smiles. And I know, whatever dad feels about me, he's got to love  
you. Has to, he's your daddy. It's some kind of law or something, you  
know? And I know he'll love you. Cuz you're going to be beautiful.  
And when you come out, ready to conquer the world, he's going to take  
one look at you, and he's so going to fall in love with you…

Maybe if he loves you enough, he'll take us both. Maybe he'll see  
that we can be a family… I know he wants a family. Well, why not you  
and me, baby? We're the perfect family for him, don't you think? I  
can cook and clean house and well, you can just be you… and that's  
more than enough…

Buffy sits there for a moment, immersed in a pleasant little domestic  
fantasy.

Like an old Donna Reed show, she's busily humming away, pushing the  
vacuum and waving a feather duster.

Unlike Donna Reed, however, she's not dressed in pearls, high heels  
and a one piece dress. For some reason, she's dressed in a  
cheerleading uniform, bobby socks and keds. her hair is tied back in  
a pony tail..

Why am I dressed like cheerleader, she wonders as she continues to  
push the vacuum and dust away.

"Hi, Honey, I'm home!"

"Daddy!" Buffy bounces up and down, almost like doing a cheer, she  
then straightens her skirt and rushes off to greet Hank at the door.

Somehow, a martini with olive magically appears in her hand.

"Hi, sweetie. Wow, you look like the perfect cheerleader. Is that  
a new dress?"

Hank is dressed Business suit, tie, carrying a briefcase with an  
overcoat folded over his arm. His head is covered with a hat, and  
clenched in his teeth is a pipe.

"This old thing?" Buffy blushes, turning around to show off her  
skirt. "I just threw it on…"

In one swift and well practiced motion, she relieves him of his hat,  
coat and briefcase and hands him the drink. Hanging up the hat and  
coat, she bends over to set down the suitcase.

"Have a hard day, dear?" She asks, as her skirt rides up over her  
firm athlectic derriere. Despite the virginal cheerleader look, she  
seems to be wearing an itty bitty thong underneath. So much the image  
of wife/slut expected of her.

Hank's eyes seem locked onto her revealed charms.

"Hmmm? No, usual stuff. Jim said blah, blah, blah, while Bob, that  
old kidder, blah, blah, blah…"

"That's nice, dear, " Buffy says, standing up and going over to him.  
She leans in, and wrapping her arms around him, gives him a three  
alarm kiss. She presses firmly against him, feeling his growing  
interest.

"Daddy! Bud is being a butthead!" A younger clone of Buffy bounces  
down the stairs to greet her father.

"That's so not true. Mary is just being a total slut!" Another clone,  
this time of Hank in his much younger years, follows her down.

Strangely, both are dressed ala modern day. Bud is wearing a black t-  
shirt with AC/DC on it, and torn jeans and engineer boots. Mary is  
dressed perfectly trampy… short, above the thigh tight skirt, cut off  
t-shirt revealing her perfectly flat(I so hate her) belly with a cute  
little ring, and a black nylons and ankle boots showing off her  
shapely legs.

Buffy immediately notices Hank's attention to their daughter, and a  
wave of jealousy fills her up.

"Now, kids, your father just got home! Go and set the table for  
dinner!" Buffy orders, still pressed against Hank. She smiles when  
she feels his hands kneading her firm buttocks through her skirt.

"Ok, Mom!" They sing out in chorus, disappearing into the dining room…

WHOA!

Buffy shakes off the fantasy, a frown on her face. What the heck was  
that? Father knows best meets Grease? She shivers a little, still  
wrapped in the cobwebs of the fading fantasy.

She looks at the clock again, and notices it's past 4:30. Where is  
she? Getting up, she heads for the phone to call Willow when the  
phone starts to ring.

Ok, weird!

"Hello?" She answers, still feeling a little off.

"Hey, Buffy!" Willow's voice greets her cheerily.

Ok, weirder!!!

"Hey, yourself! I was just about to call you. Where are you?"

"Geeze, Buffy. I just escaped from the parentals. I didn't know we  
had a set time, like a date…" Willow grins evilly, lowering her  
voice. "Is this a date?"

"Huh? NO! I mean, you know, I just got worried cuz you said you'd try  
to get out early and…" She's interrupted by Willow laughing. "What's  
so funny?"

"You are, you goof," Willow chuckles, "You should enter the Olympics  
in back pedaling. I'm sure the gold would be yours!" She can't help  
needling her, just a little.

"Iffen I didn't know you were yanking my chain, I might be offended!"  
Buffy joins the game, "So, where are you anyway? And, is she cute?"

"Buffy Summers! I made a commitment to you, and I'm going to be  
there!" Willow pretends to be hurt. "What, are you like… jealous?"

"Only if she's not cuter than me!" Buffy grins, enjoying the teasing,  
and dishing out of her own. "I mean, otherwise, I'd really be upset!"

"Now, don't get all bent, Buff. I mean, who could be cuter than you,  
you nut job!" Willow shakes her head. "Look, I just called to see  
what you wanted on your pizza…"

"You're getting pizza?" Buffy's stomach rumbles in hunger. "I think I  
love you!"

"You tease!"

"I so am not! Bring me pizza, and I'm yours. " Buffy giggles.

"You're so easy!"

"You so wish," Buffy teases her. "Ok, I want olives, and mushrooms,  
and bell peppers, and jalapeno's and pepperoni and sausage and…"

"How bout I order the works?" Willow laughs. "That might be easier!"

"Yeah, ok, but no dead little fish!"

"Aw, c'mon, who doesn't like anchovies?"

"Well, me, for one. You can have all the dead fish you want on your  
half, but I don't want any of those slimy things on my part!"

"Ok, ok, got it. No anchovies. Anything else?"

"Yeah, hurry up! I'm starving here!" Buffy complains.

"Wow, what a little piglet. Is it ok if I let them cook it first, or  
do you just want it raw?"

"I'm so not even going to dignify that crack with a response…  
however, I made chocolate- chocolate chip cookies, and if you don't  
get here soon, I might just have to eat them myself…seeing how I'm  
starving and all…"

"Don't you dare!" Willow chuckles, imagining Buffy pigging out on the  
cookies. "I'll light a fire under Fat Tony's butt myself…"

"You're at Fat Tony's?"

"Where else you gonna get decent pizza around here? Roundtable?"

"EEEWWWW!" Both girls say in unison.

"Just hurry, ok? Cuz, I'm really looking forward to our girls' night."

"Yeah, me too…"

Buffy detects an off note in Willow's voice.

"You ok?" She asks, solicitously.

"Yeah, I'm great…." Willow lies. "Don't worry, I won't forget the  
pizza, piglet."

"Better not. See you soon…" Buffy hesitates a moment. Willow still  
sounds a little odd. "You sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine, Buffy. I said that already… are you trying to get out of  
our date?"

"It's not a date!" Buffy sputters.

"Oh? Two girls, having dinner and watching a movie alone together…  
you remembered the movies right?"

"Well, duh, yeah!"

"… as I was saying, watching a movie together, and one of them  
staying over the night? Dunno, sounds like a date to me…" Willow's  
tongue is firmly planted in cheek.

"I think someone has a perverted point of view here, and it's not me,  
gutter mind!"

"Well, we'll see…"

"WILLOW!"

"Burn!"

"I'm so gonna get you…" Buffy threatens.

"You wish. Bye, Buff." Willow hangs up.

"Grrr! That girl makes me crazy sometimes!" Buffy stands there,  
fuming a little. "Ok, I need a cookie. Maybe…two cookies…"

Once in the kitchen, she snags two cooling cookies off the cookie  
sheet, and without ceremony, almost vaporizes one in two bites.  
Brushing herself off, she frowns.

"Well, maybe I should dress up a little. Don't want to look like  
frump of the year, do I?" She sniffs under her arm, and wrinkles her  
nose. "And a shower wwouldn't hurt. I mean, don't want to kill her off right away…"

Munching on the other cookie, she heads upstairs to freshen up.

TBC.


	28. Chapter 28

"Oh, man."

Willow looks around Fat Tony's and groans. It's packed tonight, meaning it will take forever to get a couple of pizza's out. _Well, it's Saturday night. What did you expect?_

She makes her way to the end of the line, not really paying attention to the crowd. She just wants to get her pizzas and get out. Get over to Buffy's, and forget about the fight she had with her father less than an hour ago.

_I know he doesn't mean to be mean, but sometimes he just…_ Willow sighs, wishing her thoughts would just go away. _I mean, he could try harder, couldn't he? I guess I could try harder, too. Try to see his point of view… but why do I always have to do the bend over backwards stuff, anyway? I mean, he's supposed to be the grown up, see things from all angles… but he's just so stubborn! Everything has to be his way. He's like a little kid…. ?xml:namespace prefix o ns "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" / _

"Excuse me, Miss. Did you want something? Can I help you?"

Willow looks up, startled. She blushes, realizing she's been standing there lost in her thoughts, holding up the line.

"Sorry, was just trying to decide…" Willow covers, looking at the menu. "Ummm… give me two large pizza's, New York style, the works… except, on one pizza, hold the anchovies, ok?" _Sorry, Buff, but I'm not eating pizza without the anchovies. One should be enough for even you…_

"Got it. Anything else?"

"Yeah… give a two liter of coke, and … ohhhh… do you have the stuffed bread sticks?"

"Oh yeah. Want some?"

"You bet… and those square thingies… the ones with powdered sugar and …"

"Right. Fat Tony's heavenly squares. You got it…" The server nods. "Anything else?"

"No, I think that'll do it…." She hands him some money for the order.

"Thank god!" A voice says behind her, an all too familiar voice. "Pig out much, Queer-o Rosenberg?"

Willow lets out a sigh. _Great, just what I needed right now._

"Don't they feed you at those family functions?" Another voice, also too familiar chimes in. "Your parents counting the crab puffs now?"

_Sweet. Two for one. Can this night get any worse?_

"Harmony, Cordelia…" Willow turns around, after getting her change. "So, what Cor? Bring your guard dog here for her nightly chow –down?" Willow gives Harmony the once over. "Better cut back on the extra cheese, babe. You look like it's gonna be tough fitting through doors soon…"

"Hey, what's your problem, Willow? Just because we don't all look like starving children in Africa…" She shrugs, tossing her hair. "I got curves, so what? I thought you liked women's curves." She snickered.

"Yeah, I do. But those aren't curves, Harm. Those are detours."

"Are you calling me fat?" Harmony fumes, not exactly sure if she's been insulted, but ready nonetheless. "Just because I don't belong to skin and bones quarterly, doesn't mean I'm fat. You're just jealous because I don't look like a boy from behind…" She smirks, giving Willow the once over. "Or from the front, either…"

"Yeah, got me there, Harm. But at least, I don't have to be milked once a day…"

"You stupid little …"

"Hey, you two… at the front? Take it elsewhere! People are waiting back here!"

Harmony whirls around to face the heckler. "Hey, who asked you, stupid?"

"Hey, look, bimbo. I came here to get a pizza, not watch a catfight. Either order, or get outta line!"

Willow just makes a disgusted noise and walks away.

"Harm, that's enough!" Cordelia says, clearly embarrassed and irritated.

"Hey, don't get angry at me! I can't help that guy's AN IDIOT!" She raises her voice.

"Shut up and order, Cow!"

"You come here and say that!"

"HARMONY!" Cordelia yells at her.

Harmony, realizing she's crossed the line..

"I'm sorry, Cor. I…"

"Just order the pizza's, ok? I'll be right back." Cordelia gets out of line, to the applause of those behind her. "God, I can't take you anywhere!"

"Where are you going?"

"I need to talk to Willow."

"What? Talk to that stick figure Barbie? Why? So she can insult us some more?"

"Look, you two," The counterman, growing impatient, interrupts their tête-à-tête, "… either order something, or get out of line. There are other people waiting, ok?"

"Hey, look you minimum wage flunky, I don't need to take that from …"

"Harmony, shut up or I'm gone. Order the pizzas, and then wait by the car. I'll pick them up when they're ready."

"But…"

"Just do it!" Cordelia, at the end of her patience, growls at her. "Now!"

"Ok, ok, geeze, you don't have to be so mean all the time…"

"I do when you can't follow a simple direction." Cordelia shakes her head, walking away.

"Yeah, well one of these days I'm just going to not take it anymore, Cordelia Chase, and then see where you'll be, huh?"

_Yeah, like I'd be so lucky,_ Cordelia thinks, _Then sighs, God Harmony, what am i gonna do with you._ she maneuvers her way through the crowded pizzeria.

Harmony, not getting a response, turns to the counter help.

"Ok, I'm ready to order now."

Applause bursts out from the crowd. She blushes furiously.

Willow, for her part, is just sitting at a small table, waiting for her number to be called. She's hoping against hope that her order will be ready before she has another Close Encounter of the Cheerleading kind. _I can't even get a pizza in peace anymore,_ she mourns, looking towards the pick up station. _Hurry up, already!_

Her hopes are dashed, however, when somebody sits down at the table with her. A somebody named Cordelia Chase.

"Hey," Cordelia says, sitting down.

Willow doesn't say a word. She just stares at her.

"Look, I'm sorry about that. I didn't tell her to do that…"

"You didn't exactly stop her, either, did you? Oh, and you had to get your own barb in, right?"

"Well, what did you expect?" Cordelia says petulantly. "You've been pretty much brushing me off all day…"

"I told you, I was at a family thing. I couldn't just walk out on it."

"Well, you're not there now, are you?"

"No…" Willow looked annoyed and angry. "What do you want, Cordelia?"

"I told you. I want to talk, ok?"

"What do we have to talk about, Cordelia? Pretty much, nothing, as I can see it. We've talked, and you're not changing, and I'm not going to become your plaything. I don't see why we have to do this dance again."

"Did I say anything about an 'us', Willow?" Cordelia feels irritated. _God, try to help someone, and they bite your head off!_ "This isn't about that. I'm really not stupid, and I get it. There's not going to be a you and me. Does that say we can't talk to each other? Especially now…"

"Why now?"

"I told you, it's important, ok?"

"Yeah, you said that, but so far? Not big on the details…" Willow starts to stand. "Look, I've got somewhere to be. I don't have time for your games…"

"Dammit, Will. Do you have to be this way?" Cordelia grabs her arm. "Listen for once, instead of like you know everything. It's hard enough being this close to you… knowing you hate me. But if you'd just listen to me, you'd get it…"

"I really, really don't want to go there again, understand me? You burned me twice, and dammit, I already feel like an idiot. I nearly lost my best friend over you, Cordelia Chase. I nearly lost everything, and I don't need another one of your sick attempts to get me back…"

"I DON'T WANT YOU BACK!" Cordelia shouts, and then realizes she's in a public place. She colors pink, and sits there, glaring at Willow. "God, you're full of yourself. Do I have to have a big neon sign, or what? This isn't about that, I just told you that! I get it, ok? Me, you? Not gonna happen. This is something else, something that could be dangerous for you… and I'm trying to help, and you're not listening, and you know what? I think I don't care anymore…" she stands up, "Good luck with your head stuck up your ass, ok?" She turns and starts to walk away.

_God, she's crazy!_ Willow says, not watching her go. Right now, the last thing she wants to think about is crazy rich girl.

And yet… _What is her trauma? Why does she do these things, anyway? What did that accomplish, except piss us both off? Is that what she wanted? Well, good work, Cor, cuz you really…_ She feels more than sees Cordelia back, standing at the table.

"What? Back to insult me some more now?" Willow says, hostility rising.

"No… just, I can't leave it like this. Whatever you think of me, I care enough about you that I don't want to… I couldn't live with myself if you… oh shit… can I sit down, please?"

Willow is tempted, so tempted to tell her to go to hell. Instead, she waves at the chair, not really wanting to look at her.

"So, you're back. What're you babbling about? Something about me? I don't get you…"

"Big surprise there. Listen, ok? Can you do that?"

"I can. But if you start with any of your games again, I'm…"

"This isn't a game!" Cordelia's face is tight, her lips a slash across her face. "You're in trouble, Willow. Big trouble. And I'm doing my best to see it doesn't happen, but I can't just let it happen … I have to warn you, ok?"

Add iceberg to that chill. Willow is really getting nervous.

"What's this about? What do you mean, I'm in trouble? I didn't do anything…"

"It's not about anything you did. Well, except maybe accepting a job from my dad…"

"Stop with the mystery, Cordelia. you're beginning to scare me here."

"You're scared? Good, be scared! Be very scared, Be so scared you're peeing your pants scared…"

"Ok, that's enough. I told you, I won't go for your games, and this is beyond any game you've played before. Just stop it, because I'm tired of listening to your crap…."

"Shut UP! I'm trying to save you, Willow, and you interrupting all the time isn't helping at all!" Cordelia shakes her head. "You're always like this, thinking you know best. Listen to me for once!"

"Then tell me what the hell is going on!"

"I'm trying to… but to tell you, I've got to tell you some stuff. About myself. And my dad. Things I've never told anyone. Stuff you can't tell anyone else, or I'm gonna be… shit, I might get dead real fast. Get it?"

Willow feels like she's wandered into a Beckett play, and she's clueless as to what happens next. Everything seems so unreal and disjointed, and Cordelia isn't helping at all.

"Just calm down and tell me, I promise. No one else… geeze, stop this! Stop making me crazy!"

"I'm sorry, I really don't want to scare you. I don't, but I've got to. If I don't, you won't listen, you won't pay attention, and something bad… awful… might happen to you…and I can't… I won't let that happen…"

"Cordelia, just tell me…"

"I can't. Not until I explain… until you understand. Otherwise, you'll just think I'm crazy, and …"

"Just tell me," Willow softens her tone. "Please." She reaches out, touching Cordelia's hand. "It's ok, you're here with me, safe. Just tell me."

"All right, all right, ok …" Cordelia says impatiently, more to herself than Willow. Then she stares her right in the eye. "You can't tell anyone, ok? I…. I can trust you, right?"

Despite herself, Willow's heart melts a little. She realizes how hard it is for Cordelia to reach out, even this much.

"I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"Ok, ok… " Cordelia looks around, being sure no one's listening. She looks back at Willow, but seems to be talking more to herself than to her. "Just say it, Cor. Just say it. It's not gonna do any good to sit here and stammer… just… I … when I was thirteen, that was the first time I slept with my father…"

Willow feels like someone punched her in the stomach. Then, for good measure, punched her in the face. Hard.

"What?" She whispers, not believing her own ears. "You what?"

"I slept with my father…" Cordelia seems to let out a long held breath. "When I was thirteen. First time. My mom… They divorced, and she'd left a couple of years before, and … I thought she was some kind of evil bitch, because I didn't really know my father then… and, well, I guess I saw him with other women… and I got…I got…I was jealous, because he gave them the attention I wanted… so I… I seduced him… I wanted to be sure that he didn't do to me what he'd done to my mother… I didn't want to be suddenly shipped off to some boarding school, shunted away somewhere…" She sees the look on Willow's face, and continues quickly. " Look, I loved him. And I wanted to be what he wanted me to be. The perfect Chase. He was my dad, after all, and that was important to me. That he was proud of me… and I didn't want him lonely, and I could give him something the others couldn't. Someone to talk to, to be with, with him all the time. Don't you see? I wanted him to be happy…" She seems to retreat, to convince herself. "I just wanted him happy, that's all. I loved him."

"Cor, my god… why… why didn't you…"

"What? Tell someone? Who'd believe me? And … I knew it was wrong, so wrong, but I wanted him! I wanted HIM! I wanted him to love me all ways… not just like a daughter… I wanted to be his lover." Cordelia looks at her with the doe caught in the headlights look. " And it wasn't just that. I wanted what he could give me. I wanted to … I wanted to be powerful. I didn't want to be a piece of furniture. I'm my father's daughter, and I wanted to be like him…" She sees Willow's expression, and frowns. "You think I'm sick, don't you? Go ahead, say I'm sick. I'm sick!"

"No, no… don't…" Willow takes her hand, squeezing it. "He…you're not at fault, Cor. He did it to you. He manipulated you…"

"No, you're not getting it! I wanted it! I wanted what came with being his lover, his partner." She looks at Willow, her eyes full of sadness and pain. "I was in love with him then … not now, but then I was… and when that faded, at least I still had the other…" Her expression is determined and set. " Don't be a fool, Willow. It wasn't just for love, The power of the Chase name can open a lot of doors.." I totally knew what I was doing.

Willow bites her lip to keep from crying. This is insane! How could anyone do that to someone they loved? What kind of monster is he? Can I even believe what she's telling me?

Almost as if reading her mind, Cordelia continues. "You don't believe me, do you? It sounds insane, doesn't it?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Remember… when we were together… you remember how I never wanted you to see my back? I always wear full blouses … ever wonder why?"

Willow just sits there, shell shocked. She's still trying to wrap her mind around this whole idea of Cordelia and her father.

"C'mon," Cordelia stands up, grabbing her hand.

"Where? Where are we going?" Willow feels herself being pulled along behind.

"Ladies room. I've got to show you something… proof."

"Wait! Stop, no! I don't need to…" But it's too late. They're at the women's restroom, and after peeking inside, Cordelia pulls her in, closing and locking the door behind her.

"What? What're you going to do?" Willow is genuinely scared. More than she's ever been scared before.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I just have to show you something…" Cordelia starts to unbutton her blouse.

"What're you doing?"

"Shhh. It's not like that. Keep the hormones in check…" She continues unbuttoning her blouse. "remember, when we made out, when we… made love… I'd never take off my tee-shirt…?" Cordelia looks at her. "Even when you… played with my breasts, and tried to get me to take it off. I wouldn't. Remember?"

"Yes… I thought… well, I thought it was because you were…it was like your first time, and you were shy…"

"God no… nothing like that…" She drops her blouse, and starts to take off her tank top. "I just didn't want you to see… I wasn't ready for you to see this yet…"

Taking off her tee-shirt, she turns around, back to Willow.

Willow gasps.

Dozens and dozens of scars criss cross Cordelia's back, some old, others fresh. Against her will, she reaches out to touch her…and Cordelia shivers.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… " Willow quickly pulls back her hand.

"It's ok. It doesn't hurt. I don't feel them like I used to… but you can see I didn't want you to see them…"

"Cor… my god… he… he did this? To you? He …" She stares, horrified and fascinated.

"Yes… and more. Other things… things so… vile I can't think about them without getting sick… I…"

"Cor, you've got to go to the police. He… he can't get away with this!"

"Shut UP!" Cordelia snaps, then immediately, her face softens, "He's my dad, Willow. I love him. I know what he did to me, but it wasn't anything I didn't ask for. I couldn't … I couldn't do that."

"Cor, what he did was wrong…" Willow's voice is soft. "You don't deserve … that…" She indicates her back.

"I'm not asking for your approval or your judgment, Will. That isn't why I showed you this," Cordelia slips her tee-shirt over her head. "I showed you so you'd believe me, so you know I wasn't lying to you."

Willow watches her slip back on the shirt, and sees the change. As if the shirt carries some kind of magic. When it's on, she can put it out of her mind, forget about it. She so needs to hide it from herself, make herself believe it isn't real.

"I believe you, Cor. I believed you, even if you hadn't shown me that. You wouldn't make something like this up."

Cordelia turns around, looking at her intently. She looks for the trick, the lie. Not seeing it, only that she's being genuine, she relaxes a little.

"Thanks. That means a lot…" Cordelia slips on her blouse, buttoning it up. "I know you think I'm some kind of freak or monster…"

"No, I really don't, Cor…"

"Don't, please, ok? I know it, and you're right. I am… I know that. I know that since what happened at school the other day…"

"Look, Cor, I didn't mean for it to go like that. I just couldn't stand by and let you…"

"Stop, I know. That's not exactly what I mean…" She hangs her head, shaking it a little, "I did something. To Harmony… something… awful… something snapped in me after our little confrontation on the quad, and I … took it out on her… and it was then… I realized what I've become…"

"Cor, you're not a monster. Stop doing that to yourself. It's not your fault!" Willow walks over, meaning to hug her, but Cordelia backs away, holding up an arm.

"Don't, ok? Again, I'm not looking for your pity, or your understanding or any of that crap," Cordelia's tone is back to normal. Hard edged and mocking. "I'm who I am, and I'm not sorry about it. But…" she closes her eyes for a moment, as if blocking out something terrible, "I did something to you I'm not proud of, Something I am sorry for." She opens her eyes. "And it wasn't exactly what I told you it was…"

"Look, Cordelia. That's ancient history now. Let's just forget it." Willow says, all the time wondering why she said that. "You can't change the past…"

"I wish I could. I wish…" She waves an impatient hand. "Wishing is for wimps. It's done, and can't be undone. But I lied to you then, and I need you to know the truth now. It's important."

"I don't understand…"

"I told you it was an initiation; maybe it was in a way. But why… it wasn't so you could be in the 'inner circle' at school. That's BS. I rule… or ruled… that school with an iron fist. If I wanted you in, your in, no tests, no nothing…"

"Then… why?" For the second time tonight, Willow feels as if she's been punched. "Why did you do it?"

For a moment, Cordelia doesn't answer. She leans on the sink, looking away. She can't look at Willow.

"I wanted…you ready… when I gave you to him…"

Willow stands there, stunned. She looks at Cordelia as if seeing her for the first time.

"You… wanted to give me to him? I don't get it… you were going to give me to him?" She stomps over to Cordelia, grabbing her shoulders. "How could you? I thought you loved me! I thought I… how could you do that to me?"

Cordelia's voice is hollow, almost as if talking from a great distance.

"You don't understand. I… He always wanted my friends… for his own little games." Cordelia looks pale, "I did that… to soften you up, prepare you…"

"But you didn't… he wasn't part of that… was he…" Willow looks puzzled and suddenly sick. "Please, tell me he didn't…"

"No, god no! After I saw… how you stayed strong, how you didn't break… I … I knew I couldn't do it. Not to you… I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't let him touch you…."

This time, the blow is at her knees. Willow suddenly feels weak, and a little sick. She leans against the sink, looking in the mirror. She's very pale.

"How could you even think that I'd… after all we talked about, what we meant… what I thought we meant to each other…"

"That's just it. I couldn't. When you got so upset, when you stood up to me, when you ran away… I realized I couldn't do it. But … it was already too late…"

"That's … bizarre! That… doesn't make any sense. Too late… ?"

"He wants you," Cordelia says it so softly, Willow almost misses it.

"What?"

"He wants you. All I know is he's obsessed with you… he has been for awhile…" Cordelia says the words as if in pain. "He wants to … I don't know. I don't know why he's so adamant about it, why he's so set on it, but he wants you…"

"Wants me?" Willow feels a deep chill down her spine. "Wants me ?"

"Don't you get it?" Cordelia looks at her, her face looking pinched. "God, he must sense how I feel… felt about you… realized that somehow, you touched me like … no one has before…" Cordelia shakes her head, swallowing hard to keep the bile down. "He must realize that you had some influence on me, and it … he must've felt threatened… or something… I don't know. All I know is, he wants you, and he…"

"He's made some kind of plans to 'get' you…"

"Cordelia… you've got to go to police. Tell them about this! You can't just let him do this!"

"No… no, I can't… I can't do that…"

"Then I'll go! I'll tell them…"

"And what? What proof? Who's going to believe you over my father?"

"Dammit, Cor! You've got to back me up!"

"No way! No, I won't… do that…" Cordelia pants, as if she's been running a long marathon. "I can't even catch a breath…" She leans over, breathing hard. "I couldn't… don't you see?"

"Yeah, I see really well," Willow says bitterly. "I'm screwed, that's what I see. You father's going to what? Rape me? And I can't do jack about it? Thanks, thanks for the tip, Cor. Thanks a bunch. I feel so much safer now!"

"STOP!" Cordelia yells, "I didn't tell you this without an ace up my sleeve. Now shut up and listen!"

Willow backs away, shaking. She can't remember feeling like this since that night… when it happened.

"What? What are you going to do. You won't go to the cops…"

"Dammit, Willow. I'm not helpless…" Cordelia colors. "Yeah, I won't go to the police… but I won't let him get you, either…"

"WHAT?" Willow stares at her, more confused and anxious. "How the hell can you stop him?"

"It's not all one way. Yes, he's… done things to me… made me… like this… but … I can influence him right back. I can … keep him from you…"

"And I believe that… why?"

"Has he gotten you in the last two years?"

Willow starts to speak, then stops. It hits her like a ton of bricks.

"He's… that long? He's wanted to … that long?"

"Yes, and I've kept him from hurting you. And I'll keep him from hurting you. Just, I need you to lay low. Don't make waves, don't get crazy, and don't get yourself noticed, ok?" She approaches Willow, who backs into a corner. "I can distract him, keep you off his radar… but if you start something, something that feeds this… desire, I don't know if I can keep him distracted. So, just do what you did before. Keep low… and don't give him reason to notice you…"

"Distract him?" Willow feels like she wants to hurl. "Distract him, how?"

"How do you think?" Cordelia says coldly.

Willow looks up sharply, understanding exactly what she means.

"No, Cor… you can't… you've got to get away from him. Don't you see what he's doing to you?"

"Oh, god, Will. It's too late. God, it's years too late for that…" Cordelia squeezes her eyes shut, holding back the tears. "That's why I know… you and me? Never going to happen. It can't happen… much as I wish it could…" She loses the fight, and some tears splash on her cheeks. "You… you're the only one… the only one I knew who didn't care who I was, or what I could give them. All you saw was me… the me I thought I'd lost… and goddamn it, I wish I could be her… for you… but I can't." She wipes her eyes, brushing off the tears. "All I can do…" She reaches out, gently touching Willow's face, "… is keep you safe from him. I owe you that… and a lot more…"

Willow feels the tears stream down her own face, and she captures Cordelia's hand in hers, turning her face and kissing the palm. She realizes that she does love Cordelia, but what she said is right. They can't ever be together… not that way. They're too different, things between them are too damaged to ever be really repaired enough for there to be any real trust between them again. But knowing that doesn't make the feeling any easier.

"I don't wanna lose you, Cor. I know… you're right. We can't … be together … not as lovers… but there's a lot of good in you. Something very good about you, despite … what's happened. I know that you can do good things… even with the way things are now."

"Don't fool yourself, Will. I'm not good. That's you trying to see me through rose colored glasses." Take a good look at me."

"You're wrong. You just haven't given yourself a chance to do better."

"Look, just let it go. Whatever we might've had, that's over. Way over."

" So, what? Do we just walk away from each other? What we've been?"

"I dunno. I'm not the smart one in here…"

"Liar! You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit being."

Cordelia thinks about it for a moment. A small bit of hope seems to appear in her eyes. Her whole face seems to relax, soften and Willow can't help but see something of the girl she fell in love with.

"Will, I know it'll never be easy for us. We're both strong willed, stubborn women. But … I also know that you make me want to be better … a better woman than I can be by myself. I never…felt like that before, and I like … I like the feeling. Maybe I can do some good stuff… but I need help. I need someone who won't let me get away with all my crap. Know anyone who might be able to do that?" Her tears are flowing freely now, and she doesn't even care. She just looks at Willow, the lost vulnerable child replacing the hardened, cynical teenager. "Do you think you can forgive me, and maybe be my friend?"

Willow almost explodes off the wall, grabbing Cordelia and hugging her.

"Do you even have to ask that?" She says softly, her eyes squeezed shut.

And for a brief moment, Cordelia feels strangely safe. As if nothing can get her here, as if somehow, while she's protecting Willow, Willow in turn has her back. She hugs Willow back equally fiercely.

"Harmony loves you, you know?" Willow says, still holding the brunette.

"I know," Cordelia doesn't want to let go.

"You really should treat her better. She's so in love with you… she might be good for you… someone to love who's not your father?" She holds Cordelia away, looking her straight in the eye.

"Starting already, aren't you?" Cordelia smirks. Then her mouth relaxes into a smile. "I'm gonna. She's been there for me, more than I even realized. I know that, and I appreciate it. I'm gonna start treating her better."

"Good… but not too better. The girl still needs a leash."

"Oh yeah," Cordelia chuckles.

They break apart, and just stand there for a moment. The awkwardness is gone between them, and for the first time, each looks at the other with a different, somewhat healthier perspective.

"Speaking of Harm, I better scoot and get those pizzas before she starts foaming at the mouth."

"Yeah, I've gotta…" She looks at her watch, and blanches. "Oh man, I'm so late. I gotta get going."

"Well, you better fix your face first. You look like an insane raccoon!" Cordelia laughs.

"Look who's talking, Rocky," Willow smirks, heading for the mirror.

"Aw shit, look at me!" Cordelia complains, seeing herself in the mirror. "I look like crap!"

Hardly, Willow glances over at the brunette. "Yeah, you do," She says out loud. "Well, I'll seeya later…" She pats Cordelia on the shoulder, then on impulse, leans over and kisses her cheek. "Be good."

Turning, she retrieves her purse and walks out of the bathroom.

Cordelia, repairing her makeup, doesn't turn, but watches her go in the mirror. She can still feel Willow's lips on her cheek.

If only… Then she shakes her head. "Wishing is for wimps," she says out loud, finishing up her makeup.

Collecting her purse, she leaves the restroom.

6

Buffy, freshly showered and dressed, starts down the stairs.

Unlike her fantasy, she's dressed rather plainly. She's wearing a white t-shirt, and loose cargo shorts. On her feet are a pair of flat sandals. Her makeup is bare minimum… just a hint of color at the lips, and a touch of color to bring out her eyes. Her hair is pulled back in a ponytail.

The effect is of a young, somewhat naïve girl, which all in all, is exactly what she is. She walks with that elastic grace which seems trademark in some attractive young women.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she's just about to turn into the living room when the doorbell rings.

Well, gotta say. Will's timing is perfect. Smiling happily, determined to enjoy tonight, she almost bounces to the door, throwing it open without looking.

"Geeze, Will, you sure took long enough. I'm starved…" She trails off, startled. "Daddy?"

Standing at the door is Hank Summers, looking a bit disheveled stares at his daughter.

You can almost see a physical change in Buffy's attitude. While her face retains it's sweet expression, a new look in her eye appears. It's a mixture of want and fear and desire. Her body seems to shift, almost leaning out towards Hank. Her chest is subtly thrown forward, along with her hips. Her legs part, just a little. Her breathing is a little heavier, a little shallower.

"Buffy?" Hank smiles, but his eyes look cold. "Is your mom here?"

"No… she's out…" Buffy opens the screen door, letting him in "C'mon in, Dad." She steps back to give him room.

Hank enters the house, and looks around. His face is slightly flushed, and his hair is a little mussed. He's shaven, but a little sloppily, as if it was a last ditch effort. He turns to Buffy.

"Where's your mom? I really need to talk to her," He says, tightly. He's over enunciating the words, indicating he might have been drinking a little. Or a lot.

"Like I said, she's out, dad…" She moves a little closer to him. Her walk has taken on a more sensual character, as if her body is responding to his. "So, did you even miss me? You haven't called me in forever."

"Buffy, I need to see your mother. Some changes need to be made around here, and damn it, I'm tired of waiting on her. When is she gonna be back?" Hank moves into the living room, sitting down on the chair.

"I dunno," Buffy shrugs, a little put off by her dad's attitude. "She went to L.A…." she decides to not tell him with who, "…on some business. She probably won't be back for hours…" She follows him in, sitting down on the arm of his chair. She takes a good look at him. He looks so … tired… she frowns.

"Just like her. All the time gallivanting here and there, never at home with her kids. I'm surprised you guys aren't out running wild, with all the supervision she's not giving you…" He nods towards the stairs. "Is Dawn upstairs?"

"No… she's out with Xander doing who knows what?" Buffy leans over a little. "Just you and me here…" She smiles sweetly. She gently strokes his arm. "I really missed you, daddy."

"Does she do this a lot?" Hank asks, pulling his arm away.

"Dawn? She hangs around with Xander a lot, yeah…"

"Not Dawn. I mean your mom. Does she go away a lot, leaving you guys on your own?"

"What? No, I mean, this is like the first time she's been gone all day. Mostly, she's here…"

"That's strange. Because every time I come over to talk to her about something, she's gone." Hank gets out of the chair, almost upsetting Buffy in his haste. He starts to pace around the living room. "Who's the girl I see coming and going all the time?"

Buffy looks puzzled. "What do you mean? Are you watching us?"

"Well, sometimes I come by and sit in my car. I mean, your mom pretty much made me persona non grata around here, but that doesn't mean I don't keep an eye on things." He turns and faces her. "So, Buffy, who's the girl? Why is she here all the time?"

"She's not. Her name is Faith, and she's… well, she's a friend."

That name sounds familiar. Where have I heard it before? "Friend? She's your friend? She's kind of old to be hanging out with you, don't you think?"

"She's all our friend. A friend of the family…" Buffy feels weird. Why the third degree. What's going on here?

"Really? How did this happen?" Hank asks, looking at her.

"Well… she boarded with us for awhile, and she's really nice. She moved, to be closer to school… she goes to the University… but she still keeps in touch, drops by sometimes."

"Goes to the University, huh?" Hank looks unsatisfied. "She doesn't look like a college student. Not what I've seen. She looks like a punk."

"Daddy! Stop! Faith's nice, she's a really nice woman…"

"She rides a motorcycle for goodness sake. What's that about? What normal girl rides a motorcycle?"

"God, Dad. This isn't like 1950 or something. Girls do all sorts of things. We do construction, we fly jets, and oh yeah, we ride bikes. It doesn't mean anything…"

"Don't even tell me you're riding a motorcycle, young lady."

"No, of course not!"

"Good, because I won't have my daughter riding a motorcycle like some… some dyke!"

"Daddy!"

"And another thing. If you're here alone, why is her bike in the driveway? Where is she?"

"Uhhh…" Buffy lets out a breath. "Well…she and mom… they went to a ballgame down in L.A., ok?"

"What? Your mom went out with some girl… some stranger, to a ball game? What's going on here, Buffy?"

"Mom got the tickets from a client at work. And well, I don't like baseball, and Dawn had a date, so she asked Faith, who said yes. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is why is your mother hanging around with a woman half her age, running off to some ball game down south when she should be home watching over you two. I mean, exactly how long has Dawn been gone today, anyway?"

"What's this all about? Why are you grilling me like this? Why are you acting like this?" Buffy crosses her arms over her chest.

"I'll ask the questions here, young lady. How long has Dawn been out today?"

"I dunno," Buffy shrugs, frowning. "Most of the day, I guess…"

"You guess? You don't know?"

"Well, all day, ok?"

"And she hasn't been back? Or checked in, or anything?"

"No! Why should she? She's sixteen, daddy. Not six. She's with Xander, and he's harmless enough…"

"He's a teenage boy. Teenage boys are anything but harmless."

"Geeze, Dawn isn't stupid. She wouldn't let him do anything to her…" Buffy is beginning to get angry. "Why the concern, all of a sudden, anyway?"

"What do you mean? I'm your father, Buffy. Of course I'm concerned."

"Really? Because, it's hard to tell… you never being here!"

"I told you, that's your mother's doing. She won't let me get near here. She has some court order keeping me away." He turns away, making an angry noise. "She won't even let me see my daughters, but she sure doesn't mind sucking me dry…"

"What're you talking about? What court order? What do you mean, sucking you dry?"

"Never mind, it doesn't concern you…"

"God, I'm going to be 18 in two months. What the heck are you saying?"

"Your mother got a court order, forbidding me from getting closer than 100 yards of her. Or this house. I can't come visit you, she won't let me. And now, she's also gotten custody of you and Dawn, and is asking 5000 a month in child support! God, I can't afford that! What in hell is she thinking?"

"Dad…" Buffy goes to him. She puts her hand on his arm. "I'm sure that if you call her and talk to her, you can work something out. I don't think mom would be unreasonable…" She leans against him. "What's wrong? Is something wrong at work?"

"Yeah, something's wrong! That…" Hank shakes her off, moving away. "… bastard, Avery Chase, stole my business. Literally, he just … came in and bought it out from under me. With the help of my partners. I got nothing, nearly nothing, for 20 years of work…"

"How… I don't understand. How could he do that?"

"That doesn't matter, really Buffy. He did it, and I'm pretty sure that your mom helped him. So excuse me if I don't feel like appealing to her reasonableness!"

"What? Mom wouldn't do that!"

"Oh please, Buffy. Your mom's no saint. I don't know what she's told you, but she would definitely do something like that. She hates me, don't you get it? She hates me, because I made some mistakes…" He turns to Buffy. "I told you I've been unfaithful to her, and I'm sorry, I really am… but she's vindictive, Buffy. She wants blood, and she's going for the jugular. She's trying to ruin me, and doing a pretty damn good job of it!"

"No, I don't believe it. Mom isn't like that. She wouldn't do something like that."

"Oh, god, she's got you brainwashed too. Well, Buffy, listen up. Your mom's not the martyr she's making herself out to be. Yes, when I couldn't get her … when she stopped sleeping with me, I went outside the marriage to take care of my needs. I admitted that to you. Did your mom tell you that she also was fooling around? On me?" He looks at her, face red. "She didn't , did she? And worse, it wasn't with a guy, but another woman! While she was on that 'buying' trip in Boston. She was playing around with some low life dyke…"

"She told me about it. She told both me and Dawn."

"She did?" Hank has the wind knocked out of his sails. However, he puffs up again pretty quickly. "Well, that's pretty hypocritical, don't you think? I fool around, and I'm persecuted because of it. She does, and everybody's just fine with it."

"There's a difference, Dad, " Buffy says quietly. "Mom was wrong to do it. She admitted it. But she did it while she was divorcing you. You were almost divorced when the affair happened. You, on the other hand, did it while you were still married to mom… during the time when no divorce was even mentioned!"

"That's what she says… but what if it wasn't the first time? How do I know she hasn't been doing it all the time too?"

"Because she said she wasn't, and I believe her!"

"Oh, right. You believe her, because she's a woman, like you. But boy, if I say anything, well good night nurse! I'm automatically guilty."

"I didn't say that, father," Buffy's tone grows cold.

"Don't take that tone with me, young lady. I deserve some respect here."

"I think you better leave now."

"Are you ordering me to leave? Out of my own house?"

"This isn't your house. This is mom's house!"

"We're not divorced yet, Buffy. As long as we're married, I own half this house!"

"Get out. I don't want you here!"

"No child tells me what to do…" Hank sees Buffy heading towards the kitchen, and the phone. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Calling the police. They'll make you leave!"

"You little…"

Hank rushes into the dining room, catching Buffy as she's lifting the receiver. Grabbing it from her, he yanks the phone from the wall. He tosses it down, and breaks it under his foot.

"Who're you going to call now, Buffy?" He glares at her, his face flushed with anger.

Buffy sees something in his face. Something that scares her silly. Shit, now what? He could… he might kill me, the way he's looking at me….cell phone. Upstairs… if I can only…

She feints left, then goes right, running towards the stairs. Hank follows her in hot pursuit.

"You come back here you little bitch! You don't pull this kind of crap on me!"

Buffy disappears around the corner as Hank starts up the stairs. Reaching the top, he stops for a moment, to catch his breath.

"Come out here now, Buffy! Get your ass out here now, or it's going to be a lot worse!" He starts down the hall. "Don't make me find you!"

He tries the first door, Buffy's bedroom, and finds it locked.

"Open this door, Buffy Anne Summers! Open this door RIGHT NOW!"

Buffy, in the meantime, is searching frantically for her cell phone. She hears her father call out to her, but she doesn't respond, hoping she'll be able to call 911 before he can get to her. Where is it? Where did I put it?

Then she remembers. In a fit of anger, she threw it across the room, breaking it. She hasn't gotten her new phone yet. Damn!

She hears Hank beating on the door, then hears him starting to kick on it. Shit, he'll be in here in a second…

She sees the window, and runs towards it. She goes to pull it up, but it's locked. Hearing the door bust open behind her, she fumbles and gets it unlocked, and opens it. She almost makes it out onto the roof.

Almost.

She feels herself being pulled back by her t-shirt, and pulls against it, ripping the shirt. Slipping out of the ruins of her shirt, naked from the waist up, she scrambles for the window, trying to get away. She feels a pair of strong hands grab her arms, and bodily lift her up. Suddenly she's flying through the air. She lands on the bed, face down. She groans softly.

"Where do you think you're going, Buffy? Dressed like that?" Hank comes over, and rolls her over onto her back. "Exactly what do you think you're doing, trying to call the police on me?"

"Get out! Leave me alone!" Buffy tries to cover herself with her arms.

"You're still not getting it, are you Buffy? You don't tell me what to do! You're just like your mother, thinking you can just order me around like some servant. Well, time you girls start learning exactly who's in charge around here!"

"Go away! I hate YOU!" Buffy kicks out at him, hitting his thigh.

"You little bitch, that really hurt!" He growls.

Pinning her legs down, he uses his other hand to start pulling off her shorts.

"Stop it, stop! Don't !" Buffy wriggles around, trying to get free. "I don't wanna …"

"You little fucking tease! You've been throwing yourself at me all night, trying to get me all hot and bothered, and now you don't wanna? Fraid not, missy. It don't work that way!"

"Stop it! GO AWAY! I'LL SCREAM!" Buffy tries to free herself, lashing out and around.

"Scream all you want… no one's home, remember?" He tears at her panties, ripping them off her. "Now hold still and be good, you little slut. Time to pay the piper!"

"NO DON'T ! DON'T ! I'm PREGNANT!"

Hank, surprised, freezes. Buffy uses that moment to free herself, and scrambling off the bed, tries to run out into the hall. Hank turns around, and catches her before she makes the door. He grabs her, and lifts her up, slamming her into the wall. He holds her by her neck.

"What the hell do you mean, you're pregnant? Who's the father? Who … was it that creep I saw you with? That … what did you call him? Oz?"

"No!"

SLAP! Hank slaps her across the face.

"Who was it then? Who have you been sleeping with, you little whore? Who got you pregnant!"

"YOU! YOU! I've only slept with YOU!" Buffy screams at him.

Hank drops her, and she lands hard on her butt. She curls up into a ball, and starts to cry.

"You …LIAR!" Hank roars.

"NO! I'm NOT LYING! You're the father! I've only ever slept with YOU!"

"SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE TROLLOP!" He grabs her by the hair, hauling her up. "You filthy, lying whore!" He slaps her again. "You've been sleeping around with everybody, just like your mother! And now you're pregnant, and trying to trap me, just like she did! You …" he drags her over to the bed, and throws her on it. "Now I'm gonna teach you to lie to me!" He straddles her, and starts to unbuckle his belt. "You filthy little slut!"

"No, daddy, no!" Buffy cries, wriggling under him, trying to get away. "I love you! I love you! Please, don't hurt me! Don't hurt our baby!"

"SHUT UP YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!" Hank punches her, hard in the face. "Shut up and take it like the whore you are!"

He starts to undress, never letting up enough for her to escape. Finally, naked, he moves off her, spreading her legs.

"Nooo. Daddy, please, nooo!"

He reaches up, and slaps her again.

"Shut up. I'm gonna teach you to fuck me, Buffy!"

He grabs her legs, and pulling her to him, he savagely enters her. He starts to pump his hard cock into her mercilessly, not caring if he hurts her or not.

Buffy screams!

Joyce pulls her SUV, affectionately and sometimes mockingly known as 'the mom mobile' into the driveway, pulling up to the garage and cutting the engine. She sits there for a few moments, leaning against the wheel, staring out at the garage door.

Sitting next to her is Faith, with a slightly bemused expression on her face. She puffs up her cheeks, and slowly blows out some air. She looks over at Joyce, expectantly.

"Well, that was… that was…"

"Embarrassing?" Faith finishes her thought.

"Well, yes… that too. I don't think I've ever been thrown out of a ballgame before…" Joyce opens her door, letting herself out. "Matter of fact, I can't remember being thrown out of anywhere before."

"Well, didn't I promise you new experiences?" Faith grins, trying to laugh it off. Seeing Joyce's frown, and slightly momish look, she pinked a little in the cheeks. "Well, ok, maybe that was a bad joke." She shrugs. "Why the glum? Why're you so upset?"

"We were thrown out of a Major League ballpark and asked not to return," Joyce says, staring at her. "I dunno, I guess maybe I'm overreacting?" Her voice drips a little sarcasm.

"Well, geeze, you don't have to bite my head off, you know!" Faith pouts.

"I'm sorry…" Joyce walks over to her, putting an arm around her shoulder. "Just, it's sort of my reputation on the line here. I mean, if this gets back to Sunnydale, my business could be in some trouble…"

"Right. What others think, right? It always comes down to that, doesn't it Joyce?" Faith bristles, pulling away.

"I don't mean it that way, honey. I'm proud to be with you, that's not the issue. Just, I can't go around acting like a kid. My gallery is all about responsibility for my clients … what're they going to think when they find out I can't even like an adult at a major sporting event?"

"Maybe you're like…human… with a sense of fun? I can't believe all your clients are old stuffy bags of hot air like that guy you went out with…"

"Mr. Giles? He's not… ok, well, he is a little stuffy, but he's nice…"

"Joy, the guy walks around with the Union Jack up his English Channel. Look up pompous, you'll find his picture next to it…"

"Just because he's responsible and caring…"

"HEY! I'm not? Is that what you're saying?"

"Of course not, silly girl!" Joyce leans over and pecks her cheek. "You're very responsible and caring… for your age."

"Well, then I never want to be your age! Geeze! Just because I wanted to add a little fun to a really sucky game…"

"Sucky because your team was losing?"

"They weren't losing! They were being murdered. By a team that sounds like a bunch of wussies. What kind of name is Angels, anyway?" Faith gets an evil grin on her face. "And anyway, I didn't exactly have to twist your arm too much, did I?"

"I was a little bored, I admit it… I don't get baseball. It's a silly game."

"You live in LA-LA land. They don't know what baseball is around here…"

"Those 'wussies' were pretty much beating up your team, Faith."

"It was a fluke. They got lucky."

"A 10 –2 fluke? Pretty darned good luck."

"I thought you weren't interested in baseball, Joyce. I thought it was a silly game…" Faith smirks.

"I was there. I can read. The score wasn't exactly a mystery!"

"Right. Gotcha…" Faith grins, "but that still doesn't explain why you did it!"

"HEY, not MY idea!" Joyce glares at her a little. "Seems like it was your idea!"

"Oh, so if I suggested we jump off a cliff, you'd do that too?"

"Hey, you dared me to do it! Started calling me chicken and making clucking noises. Other people were looking at us. I was sooo embarrassed…"

"Oh, so you're 12 now, and do whatever I dare you to do? Hmmm…" Faith is grinning broadly. "I could use so use that information…"

"FAITH!"

"JOY!"

They stare at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing.

"God, did you see their faces?" Joyce is giggling madly.

"I thought they were gonna have a Guernsey," Faith hoots, doing a little dance. "I thought L.A. was supposed to be a pretty wild town…"

"That wasn't L.A. … that was Anaheim. They're kind of conservative…"

"Still, you'd think they'd never seen a pair before…"

"Well, not on the Diamond Vision screen, no. Kind of makes things larger than life…"

"Yeah, well…"

"You didn't mention you hadn't worn a bra…" Joyce chuckles, "I was almost as surprised as anyone…"

"Hey, the girls like a breather once in awhile from confinement, you know? And it was a ballgame… not formal…"

"Still… when you pulled up your shirt to flash the crowd…"

"Right after you pulled yours up!"

"I was wearing a bra!"

"Yeah…so?"

"So, I see my girlfriends boobs jiggling free on the big screen. Lots of applause, I noticed…"

"Yeah, well, that isn't what got us kicked out…"

Joyce turns a deep shade of red.

"You don't have to remind me…" She almost whispers, mortified. "I can't believe I did that…"

"Oh, but you did, thank you very much… you sure know how to make a girl happy, baby." Faith winks at her discomfort.

"Why I even listened to you…"

"You wanted to, you know you did!"

"I just saw your breasts out there, looking so tasty. So, when you dared me to go for it…" Joyce blushes. "how could I resist? I'm such a slut… and I got us kicked out…"

"Yeah, but judging from the hoots and cheers? I'm thinking you made more than me happy." Faith chuckles.

"But you didn't get to see the end of the game… sorry…"

"Oh who cares? The Angels made mincemeat of the Bosox. It was a sucky game…" Faith smirks evilly. "Some of the sucking not so bad… and I got this groovy bat!" She holds it up, admiring it. "With the Bosox team signatures. How cool is that? How'd you get it?"

"Well, remember when I told you I had to go to the ladies?"

"Yeah, you took forever. I was afraid you'd fallen in or something."

"Well, I took a detour… and managed to sweet talk the coach into letting me get it signed. Told him you were a huge fan and all…"

"That was no lie!" Faith moves off a little, and starts swinging the bat, moving her hips around to adjust. She settles into a stance.

"So, whatcha think?" Faith says, taking a swing at an imaginary pitch. "Think I'm ready for the 'Sox?"

What do I think? Oh, adorable! Cute! Sexy… and I better get inside before I act on my other impulses… !

"I think…" Joyce walks over to Faith, and avoiding her swing, puts her arms around her waist, "we should take this inside…" She leans over, and kisses Faith's neck,"… and discuss this further…"

"Hmmm… I like how you think!" Faith turns around and pushes joyce back against the car and returning the kiss in kind,. "So, you're not mad at me no more then?" Faith asks, when they come up for air. Joyce sighs in faiths arms..

"Never mad, silly… just embarrassed and hmmmm…" Their lips meet again for a brief kiss.

"We better go in before I embarrass you again," Neighbors may be watching. Faith chuckles, and turning, slips her arm around Joyce's waist leading the way.

"We'll have to be a little more quiet than usual, though… Buffy's having a friend over…"

"Oh?"

"Yes, you remember. She mentioned it before we left. God, the way she was pushing us out, you'd think she was having the queen of England over, and had to get ready, remember?" Joyce shakes her head. "It's just Willow…"

Faith stops, frowning.

"What?"

"I dunno… not crazy about that girl…" Faith says.

"What? Willow? She's a nice girl!"

"She's pushy, and full of herself. Thinks she knows everything…" Faith catches Joyce's look. "What?"

"Oh, nothing…" Joyce smiles, as they start up the porch steps.

"Not nothing," Faith insists. "I know that look…"

"Well, just seems to me, the pot calling the kettle black…"

"What! I'm … that's so, so wrong! I'm not like that!"

"Uh-huh…"

"I'm not! Oh, sure I have opinions, but I'm not pushy, and I know there's lots I don't know …and …" Faith trails off when she sees Joyce staring at the front door. "What now?"

"The door… it's open…" Joyce says, a note of concern in her voice.

"Huh?" Faith breaks away, and walks over. She looks at the door. "Maybe Buffy left it open?"

"She knows better than that." Joyce moves up to Faith.

Faith puts her finger to her lips, indicating quiet. She listens, and her frown deepens.

"Stay here…" she starts towards the door.

"But…"

"Joyce… please, don't argue. I just want to …"

"What're you doing? You're not Supergirl! You could get hurt!"

"I'll be careful… just stay here… call 911…"

Faith slips into the house.

Joyce pulls out her phone, and starts to tap in the numbers. God, that girl can be so stubborn!

"9-1-1 Emergency," The voice comes over her phone.

"Hello, yes. This is Joyce Summers… what? Oh, I think someone's broken into my house. Yes, I came home and found the door half open. My address? 1650 Revello Drive. Can you send someone to check it out?"

She hears a scream. BUFFY!

"HURRY!" She screams into the phone.

Without waiting, she runs into the house.

Faith is already at the top of the stairs when she hears the scream. It's almost next to her, and she feels a chill run down her spine, and her heart begins to beat faster. Son of a bitch!

She rushes to Buffy's room, scoping out that's where it came from. She stops, frozen for a moment when she sees the scene before her.

Buffy is lying on the bed, naked and struggling. On top of her is a man, holding her down, raping her. She can't get a good look at him, since the room is dark.

"YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!" Faith roars, coming to life. She rushes at the man. "GET OFF OF HER!" She brings the bat up into play.

Hank, startled turns towards her, his face flushed with anger and lust. His eyes go wide when he sees an object swung directly at him.

Somehow, he manages to grab the end of the bat from his attacker before it hits him. Wrenching it away, he tosses it away behind him. Scrambling off the bed, he pushes Faith into the wall, pinning her to the wall, holding her by her neck. turning on the light.

"Who the fuck are you? Why the fuck are you here? This doesn't concern you, bitch!"

Faith struggles to free herself, but his bulk is too much to break. She hawks and spits, right in his face.

"You stupid bitch!" Hank wipes at his face, trying to wipe off the spittle.

Faith wriggles free, but not fast enough. Hank slams her into the wall.

"I want some answers. What're you doing breaking into my house, you little …"

"That's funny, Hank, considering it's Joyce's house. And oh, I'm surprised you don't recognize me, considering how you tried to ruin my life!" She kicks out at him, trying to hit something, anything to get him to back off.

It takes a moment, but then the light goes off in Hank's head.

"YOU! You're that WHORE from Boston! The one fucking my wife…" His expression turns even uglier. "So, you're back, are you? What's wrong? Couldn't find another girl to fuck, you lesbo?" He hits her hard across the face, his fist closed. "C'mon, butch. Fight, why don't ya?" He hits her again. "What's wrong? Not man enough?"

Faith, pinned to the wall, unable to move, is stunned. She sags, the blows making her start to lose consciousness.

"LET.HER.ALONE!"

Buffy has recovered the bat, and swings it at her father.

Hank, startled, turns just in time to see Buffy standing behind him. Then the bat hits him, hard.

She never meant to hit his head. She just wanted to hit him, get him off of Faith. But in turning, his shoulder went down, and his head went right in the line of the swing.

Hank is thrown away from Faith, staggering backwards and hitting the wall. He stands there for a moment, then slides down… a trail of blood following.

"Daddy," Buffy's voice is a whisper.

Realizing what she's done, realizing she might've just killed her father, after everything else that's happened, her mind can't process it. It shuts down, and her legs give out. She falls to the floor.

Faith surveys the scene, and in that instant comes to a decision. Taking up the fallen bat, she wipes the handle as clean as she can, and grabs it herself, leaving her prints. Quickly checking on Buffy, she then goes to Hank, tentatively. She feels his neck.

"Oh god! What's happened here?!"

Faith looks up to see Joyce standing in the doorway, staring into the room. Her face is white with shock.

"Call 9-1-1. He's still alive."

Joyce doesn't move, her expression horrified. She continues to stare at Faith.

"Joyce," Faith, her head pounding as hard as her heart, stands and walks over to Joyce. "Please. I had to do it… just call the police. Now!"

"They… they're on the way…"

"Call for an ambulance…" Faith suddenly feels very dizzy and disoriented. She sits down hard on the floor.

"Faith!" Joyce goes to kneel by her, then suddenly makes out her daughter. "Buffy!" She rushes over to check on her.

She knows something's wrong as soon as she hears the siren.

Willow has been taking her time getting to Buffy's house. She's still trying to process everything Cordelia told her. It was all too fantastic, too much like a bad thriller. She shudders to think what might've happened if Cordelia hadn't decided to 'protect' her.

It wasn't until the siren broke the stillness of the night that she really looked up. She saw the police cruiser pass by her, and take a hard right onto Adams. Another one followed closely behind, and two others brought up the rear.

A sudden chill took her heart. No, that's just insane. It's just coincidence. She thought to herself, turning on Adams. Then she was the last police cruiser, followed by an ambulance, round the corner to Revello. The chill turned to dread, and suddenly she found herself running. Running towards Buffy's house.

Rounding the corner, she stops. In front of the Summer's house, the police cruisers are parked every which way, with the ambulance in the driveway. A second ambulance sits behind the first, blocking the entrance to the driveway.

She runs faster, not caring that her heart is pounding and her breath hitching in her throat.

Oh, no, oh no, no, no! She thinks, as she finds herself standing behind a police barricade blocking entrance to the house on Revello Drive.

She watches as the grim tableau unfolds before her. First out is a stretcher, with a man hooked up to an IV and with an oxygen mask over his face. She doesn't recognize him.

Another one soon follows, and despite the oxygen mask, she recognizes the occupant of this stretcher.

"Buffy!" She calls out.

Someone inside the barrier turns, and she sees Joyce, flanked by two men. To Willow, she looks confused and a little lost.

"Mrs. Summers! Joyce!" Willow tries to duck under the barrier, but is blocked by a patrolman.

"You can't go in there. This is a crime scene."

"Hendricks. Let her in," One of men by Joyce directs him.

The patrolman backs away, and Willow ducks under the barrier, rushing to Joyce's side. She's startled by Joyce's looks; she looks out of control, shell shocked.

"Joyce? What happened? Is Buffy ok?"

Joyce doesn't say anything, just looks at the front porch.

A pair of officers appear, with Faith between them. She's cuffed behind her back, and her face is half covered in a bandage. They lead her down the steps towards a patrol car.

"They're charging her with assault with intent. I tried to explain it to them…" She nods at the detectives flanking her,"… but she won't say anything in her defense. She won't say anything at all."

"But… who was the man? On the stretcher? I mean, didn't he break in…?"

"Buffy's father. Hank. He's in a coma. Evidently, from what information I can get, Faith hit him with a baseball bat…" Joyce pauses, realizing it's the bat she got for Faith. "… they're saying she went crazy… attacked Hank… I know she wouldn't do that… she wouldn't do that… but Buffy is unconscious… and… no one can verify otherwise on her behalf… and she won't… "

Joyce seems to lose it, and suddenly clings to Willow. Willow holds her, trying to calm her down.

As they stand there, watching the police finish up their business, Willow feels cold. A cold wind out of the north, despite the change of seasons from winter to spring, makes the night feel particularly chilly. But it can't match the coldness she feels inside.

A couple hours later, it's all but over.

For the most part, the crowd that formed has wandered back to their own houses, seeking shelter from the cold. The police have all but wrapped up, all but the car holding Faith is gone. The ambulances have long since left; Joyce riding in the one carrying Buffy.

Willow, along with Xander and Dawn, are standing in the middle of the yard. Xander is trying to comfort Dawn, but she shrugs him off, not wanting the comfort. Her world has gone to hell since this morning, and right now, she needs to figure it out, figure it all out. She just stares at the patrol car containing Faith.

"I don't believe it," She says for the 5th time , "She wouldn't do it. It's gotta be a mistake."

"Dawn, she admits to doing it. She said she caught him… attacking Buffy, and she… she had to do something to stop him…"

"She's not a killer! She wouldn't… she couldn't…" Dawn trails off. "She wouldn't kill my father…"

"Your dad's not dead, Dawn. He's in a coma, but he's alive…" Willow moves in front of her. "She wasn't going in to kill him…"

"Big difference! He might as well be dead!" Dawn explodes, moving away from the others. "God, none of this makes sense. It's all.. insane! Why would dad attack Buffy? It's crazy!" She turns on Willow and Xander. "Everyone's gone crazy!" Dawn looks around. "Where's my mom? I want to talk to my mom!"

"She went with the ambulance… with Buffy. She's at the hospital. Sunnydale General, I think. We'll take you there…"

"No! I know where it is. I can make it. I need…" She looks at the patrol car holding Faith. The two detectives are around it, talking with her. "I need to be alone. I need to think…" She starts off, striding in the general direction of the hospital.

"Dawn!" Xander calls out, starting to follow her.

"Don't! Stay! I need to be alone right now, Xander…" She ducks under the police tape, and starts up the sidewalk.

Xander turns around, walking back to Willow. His face asks the unspoken question: Now what?

"Don't just stand there, Xander! Go after her!"

"But she just said…"

"Well, she's not thinking real good right now, is she?" Willow's mouth turns down. "Just follow her. Don't catch up, and don't crowd her. Just follow and keep an eye on her. It's not safe out there…" She looks at her friend's house. "God, it's not safe anywhere…"

Xander nods curtly, and starts off in the direction Dawn took. He stops, and turns around, a questioning look on his face.

"What about you?"

Willow stands there a moment, then waves him off. "Just go!"

He turns and like Dawn, starts up the sidewalk. She watches him go, saying a silent prayer for his protection.

For both their protection.

She turns to see one of the detectives coming towards her. The grim look on his face makes her feel a little queasy.

"Miss…?"

"Rosenberg. Willow Rosenberg."

"Yes, Miss. Rosenberg. My name is Detective Matt Frowley," He shows her his badge. "I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave now. This is a crime scene, and my men need to get to work."

"I understand."

"You're a friend of Miss. Summers, is that correct? Buffy Summers?"

"Yes, sir. But I wasn't here when this happened…"

"Yes, I'm aware of that. Even so, I'd like you to be available if we need to talk to you." He hands her a pad, indicating a spot. "Just give me your address and phone number, please."

"Of course…" Willow borrows his pen, and writes down the information.

"Thank you very much," He collects the pad, and starts away.

"Detective? What happens to her now?" Willow nods at the squad car.

"Well, she'll be booked and interrogated," Detective Frowley's face looks grimmer, if that's possible. "I hope she knows a good lawyer. It doesn't look good for her." He holds up the pad, "I'll be in touch."

He turns and walks back towards the squad car.

Willow turns away, and ducking under the yellow tape, starts her long journey home.

She has no idea how she'll explain this to her parents, and right now, she doesn't really care. She feels achy and tired, her eyes hurt, and her head feels heavy.

What the hell happened? Two hours ago, things were fine… at least, they were normal. Then Cordelia turns my world upside down, and then it explodes! This is crazy… am I going nuts, or is it the rest of the world?

She sighs, wishing she could just go home, crawl under the sheets, and hide there til this all goes away.

But she can't, really. She has to go to the hospital, and check on Buffy. And be there for Joyce, because right now, there's really no one else who can do that. Dawn's a wreck, and Buffy… No telling how this is going to do to her. She was already in a shaky place… She shakes her head, not wanting to think about it.

Her stride quickens, and she realizes the night seems darker, somehow, and the shadows deeper. She pulls her coat tighter, and shivers. She pushes herself to move even faster. She suddenly feels very alone, very exposed.

And cold. So very cold.

She wonders if she'll ever feel warm again.

TBC.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

A change of seasons,

Raiting: Hard R

Disclaimer: Joss owns all. I'm just playin'

Pairing: Joyce/Faith

A/N: I had every intention of Keeping this a Primarily A Joyce/Faith story as you can see it had other ideas. I hope people enjoyed it anyway.

A/N2: A big warm hearted smooch to Norwalker without the input this would never have been finished

1

"AAAAAAAHHHHH GOD!!!!"

Buffy is lying in bed, her face covered with sweat. Her eyes are wide open, and she looks more scared than she's ever looked before.

Flanking her is Joyce on her right, and Oz on her left. Both are looking down on her, both trying to hide their worry as they try to look supportive for her.

"Mom? MOM! Where are you? Are you here?" Buffy doesn't seem to see her mom standing next to her.

"I'm right here, honey. Don't worry, everything's fine. Just relax, baby." Joyce takes a cloth to Buffy's forehead, daubing off the sweat.

"Oz?" Buffy says, plaintively.

"Right here, babe." Oz squeezes her hand reassuringly.

"Oz," She smiles dreamily, looking at him. Then she frowns. "Oh god, not again! OH GOD OH GOD OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH AAAAAAWWWWWWHHHHHHHH!" She screams, her face all scrunched up from the effort. She sits there a moment, panting, trying to catch her breath.

"Don't fight it Buffy, work with it. Go with it, just let it happen," Joyce says soothingly. "We're right here with you."

"GODDAMNIT! WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME IT WAS LIKE THIS?" Buffy yells at anyone who's listening. "IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE'S SHOVING A VOLCANIC BOWLING BALL THROUGH MY VAGINA!"

"Breathe, honey, breath," Oz says. "Remember? HEH-HEH-HEH…HEEEEEE…"

"BREATHE MY ASS!" A very angry and very pregnant Buffy, in the throes of labor, yells at him. She grunts, straining to push.

"No, not yet," Tara Maclay pops her head above Buffy's spread legs. "Don't push just yet!" She ducks back down.

"I want to get it out. I gotta get it out! Mommy, it HURTS! It HURTS SO MUCH! Make it stop! Please, mommy, make it STOP!" Buffy cries, her face red from effort and pain. "I just want it to stop…"

"Shhh, shhh, honey," Joyce says soothingly, stroking her forehead. "It's almost over. We're almost there now…"

Oz, feeling somewhat out of place and useless, but determined to be useful, grabs a small bowl off the nightstand by Buffy's delivery room bed. Taking the spoon, he scoops out some ice chips and offers it to her.

"Here, baby, have some ice. It'll make you feel better…"

Buffy looks at him, dully yet slightly annoyed. "God, I don't want ICE! I WANT SOMETHING TO MAKE THIS… OOOOOOAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!" She lets out another loud bellow.

"Ok, Buffy. Now push," Tara calls out. "You're ready… push!"

Buffy grunts, and pushes, her hands clutching her mom's and Oz's tightly.

"UUUUUUUHHHHHHH"

Joyce watches as her baby, her little girl, struggles to become a mother. She's not ready for this. … I'm not ready for this! How is she going to deal with being a mom after all she's been through? She hasn't even had a chance to see what else is out there, and now she has a baby to take care of.

It's too soon. She's had to grow up too fast. This isn't fair! Dammit, it isn't fair!

"C'mon, Buff. Just bear down now… push…" Oz, leaning over, encourages her.

Joyce can't help but smile at the young man that's become such a big part of her daughter's life. Sometimes I think he's the only thing that's kept her going… Joyce could see the devotion he felt for Buffy whenever he looked at her. At first glance, he appeared to be aloof almost to the point of indifference. It wasn't until you got to know him that a strong passion was hidden behind those almost unreadable eyes. And one of his biggest passions was her daughter. He even put his band on hiatus until after she gave birth, so he'd be here…

But it wasn't like that at first. Not after what happened… she didn't trust anyone…

Joyce flashes back to another night, 6 months prior, to another hospital room. Standing off to the side, watching as the doctor examines Buffy for injuries.

"You say your husband did this to her?" The doctor turns to Joyce, a dour expression on his face.

"My ex-husband, yes," Joyce says, tight lipped.

"He should be in jail," He turns Buffy's head, examining the side. "I don't see any sign of concussion or sub-dermal contusions, but I'd like to keep her overnight for observation."

"Of course," Joyce agrees.

"If you'll wait here, I'll see to getting her placed in a room." The doctor starts out, and then turns back. "Your husband… ex-husband," He corrects himself, seeing her look,"… is he her father?"

"Yes," Joyce says quietly.

The doctor mutters something under his breath, shakes his head and walks out. Joyce turns towards Buffy to find her dressing.

"What're you doing?"

"I want to go home," Buffy says quietly, but firmly.

"Buffy, you heard the doctor. He wants you to stay overnight for observation."

"I'm fine, mother. I just want to go home now." Buffy starts to pull on her jeans.

"Buffy, stop!" Joyce comes over, putting a restraining hand on Buffy's arm. "The doctor says you're to stay, and you're staying."

"Let go of me!" Buffy shakes her off. "I don't like this place! I don't want to stay here! I want to go home!"

"Buffy, we can't go home," Joyce says, exhausted. "The police have sealed the house. It's a crime scene. Dawn and I are going to stay at a motel until I can make other arrangements…"

Buffy slumps against the exam table as if the energy has been sucked out of her. She stares at the floor, silently.

"What happened tonight, Buffy? Why was Hank at the house? Did you call him?"

"No! He just… he just showed up…" Buffy's voice sounds distant. "He said he wanted to see you…"

"Me? Why did he want to see me?"

"He… didn't say. Not really…"

"What happened? Why did he attack you?"

"I dunno… he was acting weird. Asking all sorts of questions, and getting all … he just got angry because I told him to leave…"

"He hit you for that?"

"No… not until I said I was going to call the police…"

"Buffy!"

"He was acting all… like he was … I dunno… like drunk… but he wasn't drunk… just crazy…I don't know…" Buffy clutches her head, then winces. "I don't want to talk about it, ok?"

"Buffy, we have to talk about…"

"No! NO! I don't want to… I can't think right now, ok? Everything's all confused, ok?"

"Ok, ok, honey," Joyce says, backing down. "We'll talk later… when you're feeling better…"

"Where's Faith?" Buffy asks, "Is she ok? Is she here? Dad beat on her pretty badly… What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Buffy. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"No, tell me, what's wrong? Where's Faith? She should be here…"

"Buffy…" Joyce takes a breath, bracing herself. "Faith's under arrest. They're holding her for manslaughter."

"What?" Buffy goes deathly pale.

"I was hoping to wait on this, until you were feeling better. But …" Joyce walks over, putting an arm around Buffy's shoulders. " Hank's dead, Buffy. He died of the head wound Faith gave him when she hit him!"

"NO!" Buffy breaks away from her mother, moving across the room. "No, that's wrong… that can't be right…you're lying to me!"

"Buffy…"

"He can't be dead! He cant' be DEAD!" Buffy's voice rises, "You're LYING!"

"Buffy… calm down. Faith didn't mean to …"

"FAITH?" Buffy looks at Joyce like she's from another planet. "Faith never hit him! I hit him! I KILLED HIM!"

Buffy collapses against the wall, sobbing.

Joyce stands there, stunned. "Buffy, what are you saying?"

"I didn't mean to…" Buffy's voice has a hollow tone. "But he was so … he caught me, and tore my clothes… and threw me on the bed… and he said horrible things… called me horrible things… and then he… he…" Buffy's voice trails off, as she relives the scene in her head. "He forced me… he … he… raped me…"

Joyce stands there, stunned. She feels her stomach turn over, and a quiet rage builds up in her breast.

"It wasn't like before… I thought he loved me… he said he loved me… when we were together… he was so loving… but this time, he was … he was … he forced himself on me…"

Joyce didn't think she could feel sicker. But she does. Before? This happened… before? He RAPED HER BEFORE?

"…and then Faith burst in, and she went at him with the bat… but he grabbed it, and then he threw it away and grabbed her… and he started to hit her… and taunted her… and hit her… and I screamed… I told him to leave her alone… but he didn't… he just… and I saw the bat… and I saw red… I didn't even think…I just wanted to hurt him… I wanted him to go away! I wanted him to get out! I … didn't mean to… I didn't want to kill him…"

Joyce can't breathe. She feels as if her throat has closed up, and her stomach is flopping over and over and over. Still, somehow, she manages to walk over to Buffy, and take her gently into her arms.

Buffy clings to her, sobbing.

"Buffy… how long? How long have you and…how long did he…"

"It started when I was 14, almost 15… he… said he didn't want to run around, and be with someone else. He said you didn't love him… not like that anymore… and that he had needs… and I was afraid… I didn't want to lose my daddy… I … I thought I could … he would stay if I… we… and at first, it seemed ok, he was so… gentle… I wanted to make him happy. I loved him, mom… I didn't mean to kill him… god, I'm some kind of sick monster! I killed him! " She looks up at her mother, eyes wide, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I know I did wrong, mom, and I'm sooo sorry. I didn't mean to… I thought I was… helping… and I loved him… and I love you… and I wanted our family to be …oh god, what's wrong with me?" She breaks away, moving away from Joyce, across the room. "He was right. I'm a whore. I'm a sick perverted slut!"

"Buffy… no, baby… no…" Joyce moves towards her. "It's not your fault, honey. He … abused you… he took advantage of you…"

I WANTED HIM TO! I LOVED HIM! I DIDN'T… I didn't… want to lose my daddy…" Buffy stares at her, eyes swollen. "I wanted him to do it, don't you see? He seduced me, but I wanted him to do it. I thought if he had me at home, he wouldn't leave us, go looking for someone else. Don't you see, I wanted him there, I wanted our family together, and I thought …" She turns away, facing the wall, like a child being punished. " I thought he loved me. I though it would all be ok if I did it… I didn't know…about the other stuff. I screwed up, ok? I screwed up and … I didn't want to kill him… I only wanted him to go away… stop hurting me… us…"

Joyce approaches her slowly, cautiously. Before Buffy can turn or escape, she gently puts her arms around her.

Buffy doesn't struggle, or move. She just stands there, stiff and unresponsive. Joyce gently leads her back to the exam table, and undresses her, leaving her in the hospital gown like before. Buffy doesn't resist, doesn't speak. She just stands there looking at Joyce as if she doesn't really see her, or recognize her.

Joyce feels sick. Sick beyond anything she's ever felt before. Sick, and angry. Angry at Hank, and mostly, angry with herself.  
This has been going on nearly four years, and I didn't even see it? What the hell is wrong with me? How could I … how could I let him do this to her! What kind of mother am I?

She folds Buffy's clothes, to keep her hands busy. She puts them on the exam table, and almost jumps when Buffy speaks.

"You'll tell them, won't you?"

"Tell them?"

"The police. That Faith didn't do anything. That I did it. You'll tell them, won't you?"

"Buffy, don't worry about that right now. Right now, concentrate on getting better…"

Buffy looks at her, and starts to giggle. Then the giggle becomes louder, and she starts to laugh deeply.

"Get… better? You … want me to get… better? Better than what? Better so I can what? Kill somebody else?" She collapses against the table, laughing merrily. "Oh, why not? I mean, I'm not good for anything else? But man, I sure can kill 'em good. Yessiree, I better get better so I can do it better, don't you think? Be a better slut? Or a better killer? Or Both? Yeah…" She's out of control, laughing hysterically. "Oh yeah, better. I'll get REALLY BETTER, mom! You're killing me, mom. Hey, I made a joke! You're killing me! Get it? Get it? GET IT?"

Joyce, realizing Buffy's on the edge, walks over and slaps her.

Buffy stares at her, holding her cheek, puzzled. Then the tears start down her face, and she stands there, crying without making a sound.

Joyce wraps her arms around Buffy, and pulls her close.

"It's ok, now, baby. It's ok… it's going to be ok now…"

Even as she holds Buffy, Joyce can't seem to make herself believe that.

2

"Mrs. Summers? Joyce?"

Joyce is at the registration desk, filling out insurance information when she hears her name called. She turns to see Willow Rosenberg making a beeline for her.

Oh, not what I need right now… Joyce sighs, not wanting to deal with any of the thousand questions she knows are coming. Despite that, she turns to greet Willow.

"Hello, Willow. Buffy's ok, that is she's fine physically, but she… well, she's really not up to visitors…"

"Oh." Willow stops, disappointed. She really had wanted to see for herself that Buffy was ok. She looks at Joyce, feeling a distressed vibe coming off her. "Are you ok, Mrs. Summers. You look…" She notes Joyce's pallor.

Maybe it's because Willow doesn't push to see Buffy. Maybe it's because Willow notices that Joyce didn't look well… maybe it was because Joyce doesn't have to go into protective mother mode. Whatever it is, suddenly something lets down in Joyce, and suddenly she feels very, very ill.

"Excuse me… I…" She looks around, and spotting a restroom sign, hurries off towards it.

Willow stands there for a moment, watching her hurry away, confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

Shaking it off, she notes that Joyce is heading for the restroom. A little too quickly for it to be for the normal reasons. Concerned, she starts to follow her, and has a sudden almost overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Ok, this is just downright creepy, she thinks as she reaches the ladies room and pushes the door open.

Even creepier, from her perspective, is the sounds and smells of someone being sick, followed by the sound of a toilet being flushed. She stands there for a moment, feeling a shiver run down her spine.

The last time this happened, I found out something I really didn't want to know. Maybe I should just go now…

"Willow?" Joyce spots her as she exits the stall. Her face is pallid, and it's obvious she's not feeling well. She walks over to the sink, splashing water on her face. "Maybe you should go home, dear. I'm sure Buffy will be able to have visitors tomorrow…"

"Mrs. Summers…"

"You might as well call me Joyce, Willow. Everyone else does…" Never mind I never want that name attached to me again!

"Joyce… are you ok?" Willow repeats the now inane question, not really knowing what to ask.

"No, I'm not ok, Willow, not really…" Joyce admits, wondering why she did. "I guess finding out you're the worst mother that ever lived kind of knocks the wind out of you…" She leans on the sink, looking and feeling exhausted.

"Mrs. … Joyce, that's ridiculous… " Willow comes over to her. "You're a good mom."

"Oh, sure, I'm a great mom," Joyce says, sarcastically. She turns to Willow. "How could I be so blind. How could I just let this happen, and not see what was going on? I…"

Oh, man, she knows. Buffy must've told her!

"She told you!"

Joyce looks at Willow strangely.

"She told you?" Joyce asks, her tone wary and … slightly harsh.

"Only because … well, she was acting crazy and I was trying to get to the bottom of it and she finally confessed…"

"And you didn't tell me? Or anyone? That…" Joyce shakes her head, unbelieving. "How could you not tell anyone?"

"She… she made me promise. I wanted to tell you… I tried to get her to tell you, but she wouldn't… she was afraid of how you'd react … "

"How am I supposed to react? This is horrible!" Joyce is growing angrier by the second. How dare this … this child… not tell me what's happening to my daughter!

"Horrible?" Willow's stunned. "Horrible? God, no wonder she didn't want to tell you! She needs you right now… needs your support… and you're acting like it's the worst thing that ever happened to her…?"

"What are you saying? You're acting like it's normal. Like it happens every day. After what Buffy's father did to her…"

"Buffy's father?" Buffy's dad? "What the heck does he have to do with…" Willow suddenly stops, her jaw dropping open. Oh. My. God! " Buffy's dad… he made her pregnant?" She asks, almost in a whisper.

" Buffy's PREGNANT!????!!!" Joyce shouts, leaning heavily against the sink. Oh god, what else could go crazy tonight. Buffy's… "Wait a minute. Are you… what're you saying?"

"You didn't… but I thought… what were you talking about… ?"

They look at each other. Then they look away, both reddening.

Joyce seems to recover first, though she wishes somehow she were still swimming in the sea of confusion Willow still seems to be in. A thought occurs to her. Something Willow said… something awful.

Hank. Hank with Buffy. Buffy. Pregnant.

No, no, no, no…NO! NO! NO!

She doesn't want to, can't believe this. This is just too much; too much to take in. But she turns to see Willow staring at her, open mouthed, and it all falls into place. Suddenly, her stomach rebels, and she's stumbling over to the stalls once again. She leans over, but her stomach is empty. She just has the dry heaves.

Willow, forced out of her shock because of Joyce, goes over and kneels by her, holding her.

Joyce is gripping the toilet, her knuckles white from the strain. She's shaking violently, and tears are streaming down her cheeks. She looks up at Willow, and Willow feels her heart break for the woman.

"Are you… are you …how do you know for sure…?"

Willow suddenly falls silent. She realizes if she tells Joyce about the test…

"Willow, answer me…" Joyce's tone becomes firmer, even as the tears stream down her face. "How do you know?"

"I… I…" Willow sees the look on Joyce's face. Forgive me, but I've got to. "She… went to the doctor's. With Faith… they confirmed it…"

Joyce feels the last pillar in her world, the one holding it up from collapsing, give way. "Faith. Faith knew?"

"Only that she was pregnant. We… didn't… know about… the other…" Willow has an epiphany. "That's why she wouldn't talk about the father…" Suddenly, she feels very, very ill.

This night has been too much for her. Arguing with her father. Learning about Cordelia. Going to Buffy's, only to find the police. And now, this… Willow begins to shudder violently.

Joyce, despite her own pain, is ever the mom. Seeing Willow, she moves and gently guides her head towards the toilet as she is sick. And sick, and sick. She holds her head, caressing her hair. Somehow, it makes her feel better, doing this. It gives her a sense of control on the world that has gone suddenly crazy on her.

Finally, finished, Willow flushes the toilet, reaching for some tissue to wipe her mouth. She looks embarrassed and apologetic.

"God, I'm sorry, Joyce, I just…"

"It's ok, believe me, I can understand…" She puts a hand on Willow's shoulder. "Are you…"

Willow just stares at her.

"Me, either," Joyce says grimly. She gets to her feet, and helps Willow up.

Both women stumble to the sinks, staring at the crazy people staring back at them out of the mirrors. They both splash cold water, hoping it will wake them from the nightmare.

"Now what?" Willow is staring into the mirror. Do I look older? I feel older…

Joyce looks at the young woman sharing the sink and the secret. She notes how pale, how awful she looks. This is too much, way too much for her to deal with.

"Willow, I think you should go home now…" Joyce says softly.

Willow almost successfully hides the look of relief on her face. But she still wants to be there, be available if she's needed.

"I'm…Ok. I can stay, if you want?"

"No, I think… we've both had enough for tonight, and I've got to collect Dawn… oh god.. DAWN! I… she's … have you seen her? In the confusion, I didn't…"

"She's on the way, I think. I sent Xander after her, because she… well, she was upset. I told him to just follow… but he never listens to me…" Thank god!

"Oh… she's with Xander, then?" Relief washes over Joyce. Followed by major anxiety. She looks at Willow. "What am I going to tell her…?"

"Nothing…"

"I have to tell her…"

"I mean, tonight, Joyce. I don't think either of you are ready for that tonight. Do you?"

Joyce looks at her, amazed at how much calm she's managed to recapture in so short a time. If Buffy can count you as a friend, she's very lucky, Joyce thinks to herself.

"Maybe you're right. Bad enough we can't go home…" She looks at herself in the mirror. "Do I look ok? I mean, for a mom? I don't want to scare her…"

Willow can't help admiring how Joyce pulls herself together, to protect her daughter. She wonders if her own mom would be able to do that.

"You're ok. I think you'll pass."

Joyce looks in the mirror, not as sure as Willow. I wonder if I'll ever be able to pass as a decent mother again? She suddenly has a strong urge to just run away, hide and forget everyone and everything. That urge passes quickly when she realizes her daughters need her. And Faith…

"Oh, god, Faith! She's still in jail…I've got to…"

"Whoa. Whoa up, Joyce. One thing at a time. Dawn first, then Faith…"

Joyce looks at her, almost frightened by the unintended eeriness of that statement. That's always how it is, isn't it? The kids first, then Faith…

"We better go back out there," Joyce says, doing a final inspection, and straightening her blouse.

They walk out of the bathroom, and the world comes crashing right back in.

"MOM! Oh my god! Is Buffy ok? Faith! They took her away!… the police took her away! We've got to go get her!"

Dawn , breaking off from Xander, comes rushing at Joyce, burying herself in Joyce's arms. Joyce holds her, trying to calm her down.

Willow walks over to Xander, who's looking somewhat distressed and confused.

"I thought I told you not to catch up with her," Willow puts on a mock stern face.

"I tried not to. But she stopped halfway, and busted me. I didn't have a choice…" He shrugs. "Sorry, guess I'm not so much a Sam Spade…"

Willow smiles. With all the world going to hell around her, thank god there's still Xander Harris. Grabbing his arm, she starts to lead him away.

"Willow? What… what about…"

"It's time to go home, Xander…"

"But… Dawn…" He points back towards mother and daughter.

"They need some alone time right now…"

"So, why are we out here again?" Dawn paces around the small waiting room.

Xander, Willow and Faith are with her in the waiting room, trying to make themselves comfortable. Dawn, however, isn't very happy about not being in the delivery room.

"Tara thought, since Buffy has already gone into labor, that it might be better if we just wait out here," Willow explains, again. "It's going to be confusing enough in there, with her mom and Oz …"

"Hey, how come he gets to be in there, and not me? I'm her sister!" Dawn complains, finally settling down by Xander. "I mean, blood's thicker than boyfriends!"

"Hey, boyfriend sitting right next to you," Xander teases her, trying to lighten the mood.

Dawn throws him an evil look. Xander wilts a little.

"Dawn," Willow pulls up every bit of patience she can muster. "Buffy wanted Oz to be there. They've grown really close over the last few months, and she wanted him to share this with her…"

"Meaning, I suppose, that she didn't want me to share it with her…"

"No, that's not what Willow said, Dawn," Faith cuts in. "Right now, Buffy's going through a lot. Do you really wanna be in there and watch every moment as she gives birth? I mean, I don't know personally, but it can get kinda gruesome, I hear…"

"YES!" Dawn exclaims, then switches around. "NO! Gross! I mean… god I don't know what I mean. I just… well, I'm becoming an aunt, and I've never been an aunt before, and I want to be there to see the birth of my niece…" Dawn makes a noise, and settles back on the lounger. "I don't know what I want. It just doesn't seem fair!" She crosses her arms, and glares out into space. "Not like anyone's really been including me on anything, lately."

"Look, Dawnie, no one's meaning to leave you outta stuff. Just, it's been rough on everyone, with the pregnancy and the trial and everything. I know it doesn't seem fair, and all, but sometimes that's just the way things go…" Faith shrugs. "It's not like we're trying to exclude you or nothing."

"Yeah, well, be nice if people remember I'm part of this family too. I can help if someone would let me…"

"Dawn, your mom's doing her best, ok? Try to see that!"

"Yeah, sure, take her side. Like you always do!"

"Guys? We're in a hospital," Willow tries to calm things down. "We don't want to get thrown out, ok?"

"C'mon, Dawn, you're gonna be an aunt! That's so cool," Xander puts his arm around her. "So, what's Buffy going to call her?"

"I'm not a child, Xander. I don't need to be distracted. I know how to act," Dawn shakes him off, and gets up. "I think I'm gonna get something to drink. I'll be back later…"

"Hey, Dawn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap," Faith goes to her, putting her hand on Dawn's shoulder.

"Me too. Guess I'm just worried about Buffy. Sorry…" She turns, and walks down the hall.

Willow sits there, a little shell shocked. She looks over, and the look on Xander's face goes straight to her heart. The confusion and hurt, looking like a lost, whipped puppy. Poor guy, he's got it bad for her, she thinks, feeling bad for him. I wonder if she even realizes how much he cares?

Knock it off, Will. Don't get on her case. She's had it rough. All of them have had it rough. These last six months have been so crazy. Ever since that night Mr. Summers died…

I never thought I'd make it through. How did any of us?"

3

Ira Rosenberg picks up one of the folding chairs from the party. The party's over, and it's time to clean up.

It was a good night. All his friends showed up, wishing him well in his new position as Chazzan. Even Sam Goldstein, that old fraud, had congratulated him.

Yeah, and he was extremely jealous to boot. I know he wanted it. Bad! But he didn't get it, and I did. So, there, Sam Goldstein! All your money didn't do it this time, did it, you putz!

Yes, it was a good night for Ira. A very good night.

But not a perfect night. He can't help thinking about the kitchen, and all that went on in there. He stops by the mantel, looking at a picture.

A picture of his daughter, Willow, staring down at him from a portrait shot of her. She's smiling that infectious smile of hers, and he can't help but smile back.

"You…" He shakes his head, half angry with himself, half pleased. "You could always do that, couldn't you? Get me to smile, even when I didn't want to smile." He stands there, staring at the portrait. "You're such the charmer when you want to be, kinderlech. Always were…" He sighs. "God, what is wrong with me? Why did I make such a big deal? I was all bent out of shape, because she couldn't make 5 minutes to spend with her dad. Just look at her…I should be happy. She's beautiful, and strong… and happy. Why shouldn't I be happy she's happy, even if she's… what's that term they use now?" He pauses, trying to think of it.

"Gay. We use gay, dad."

Ira, startled, almost drops the chair. He turns and sees Willow standing across the room from him.

"Willow! My goodness, you gave me a start! What're you doing, sneaking up on me like that? Are you trying to give me a … wait a second. Aren't you supposed to be over at your friend's house? What're you… honey? Are you ok?" Even in this light, he sees something is wrong.

"No… I'm really not, dad…"

And suddenly, she's in his arm, clinging tightly and crying. Sobbing and shaking.

Ira, overwhelmed, doesn't know what to do. So he does what comes naturally, and just puts his arms around her, holding her.

"Kinderlech, what is it? What's wrong…?"

"Don't, please, dad, don't ask." Willow buries her head in his chest, sniffling. "Just thank god for you!"

Ira Rosenberg is a religious man. Even so, he sometimes wonders at the craziness of God's actions.

And sometimes, he just accepts the gifts.

4

What's wrong with me?"

Willow holds the phone in her hand. The one she can't keep from shaking.

Her whole world seems upside down.

Buffy pregnant. By her dad!

Faith in Jail. For killing Buffy's dad!

Is the whole world going crazy? She wonders, trying to steady her hand. Finally, deciding she was hungry, she takes an apple out of her bag. She sits there, staring into space.

It has to be going crazy. First I walk over to Buffy's, and it's become a war zone, with police and ambulance's everywhere. Then the hospital, with Joyce. Buffy's dad was molesting her? Oh god, oh god, oh my god! First Cordelia's dad … now Buffy's dad…

Willow looks up when a shadow covers her. She sees Xander Harris looking down at her.

At least Xander is normal! THANK YOU GOD FOR THAT!

"Xander…" She gestures for him to sit next to her.

"Will, what the heck is going on?" Xander doesn't sit. He just stares at Willow.

Ok, maybe normal is too strong a word here…

"Xander? What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? I come home with Dawn from a date, and her house looks like it's been invaded. There's police tape everywhere, and they're leading Faith away in handcuffs. Buffy and her mom are going to the hospital. Her dad is in a coma. Then Dawn storms off, and instead of going to the hospital, she goes to the police station. Faith is being held by the police for manslaughter. Dawn almost goes nuts, realizing her dad has died. We go to the hospital, see you there with Mrs. Summers, and you pull me away before I can learn anything, and won't talk to me…" He finally sits down, but not too close to Willow. "Now, I've tried to call her a zillion times, but all I get is her voice mail. She doesn't call back…and I still don't know what's going on. Why did Faith attack Dawn's dad? No one will answer me anything…"

Willow sees the worried look on her face, and her heart goes out to him. She knows exactly how he feels.

She tried returning to the hospital this morning, to see how Joyce and buffy were doing, to offer sympathy or a shoulder or an ear, if they needed it. But buffy had been released and all she's gotten is her voice mail. When she tried the home number, it was disconnected.

Willow was worried about buffy . This couldn't be good for her, being alone… not like this…Shut up willow. she has her Family.

She still feels guilty, and relieved. After what Cordelia told her, she won't waste any tears on Hanks death. But she can't help feeling guilty she's glad he's dead. She knows, despite what he's done to her, Buffy must be feeling awful about his death right now.

She wants to comfort her, give her a vent. And can't.

And she can see the same in Xander. She knows he really cares about Dawn, and wants to help. And he feels helpless being shut out.

She puts a consoling arm around his shoulders, and gives him a hug.

"Hey, it's ok. They're gonna be ok…"

"How do you know that?" He snaps at her. Then he apologizes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just meant, I wish I could believe that. But I can't get ahold of Dawn. She won't answer her phone. And they're not at home… there's still police tape up on the porch, and there's a notice the house has been sealed for investigation…" he hits his knees with his hands. "OW! Damn, that hurt…"

"Why'd you do that, Xander, " Willow shakes her head. "Of course it's going to hurt."

"I just wish I knew what the heck is going on around here…"

"No, Xander, you really don't…"

"You know? Tell! Come on, Will, spill it. Please!" He gets down, gingerly, on his knees in front of her. "Please, you've got to tell me. I gotta know…"

"Well, aint that cute? Hey, dork-o. I know you're desperate for a girl, and all, but don't you think it's kind of pointless proposing to Queer-O Rosenberg? Seeing she's all lezzy…?"

Both turn to see Harmony standing there, hands on hips, smirking at them.

"Or maybe you decided to try the other team?"

"Harmony," Xander gets up, wincing a little. "Don't you have anything better to do? Like fill your head with air or something? It's looking a little flat."

"Ha, Ha. Xander. You're so funny, I almost forgot to laugh."

""Harmony… how's Cordelia doing?" Willow gets up, going to her. "I mean, you know, with things…"

"What? What do you mean?" Harmony, for a moment, doesn't get it. Then it sinks in. "Oh, right… things… like you care, Lesbo?" She makes an impatient noise," Not that it's any of your business, but she's … she's ok."

"I do care Harmony…" She feels Xander's eye burning a hole in her. Never mind Harmony's sullen look. "As a friend, only a friend, ok?"

"Cordelia's strong. She can deal." Harmony gets her hackles up, in defense. "Trust me, she's a lot stronger than you!"

"Harm, this isn't… I'm just worried about her. Nothing more…" Willow shows her palms, as if surrendering. "I'm just worried… because of things."

"Things? What things? Will, what're you talking about?" Xander is feeling a little confused.

"Nothing you should worry about Xander," Willow cuts him off. She turns to Harmony. "So?"

"She's fine… with the things, ok?" Harmony is having a little trouble keeping up, too.

"Good…good."

"Willow…" Xander, not enjoying any part of this, interrupts. "Just let it alone. I'm sure Harmony has some frosh bashing to do."

"Xander, back off, ok? This isn't about you," Willow snaps at him.

"Fine!" He raises his hands, and his hackles. "I'll be over here when you've returned to your senses." He walks off, a little huffily.

"Well, he's all Mr. Snarky, isn't he?" Harmony comments, watching him go. "What a dork."

"This isn't about you making fun of him, either. I want to know how Cordelia's doing."

"Hey, boney butt. I'm not your servant. I don't even know why I'm talking to you, anyway. I've got better things to do, like watch my fingernail polish dry…"

"Oh for god's sake, Harmony. For once, stop acting like a jealous ass. I don't want Cordelia, she's all yours! I just want to know if she's ok…"

"Hey, we're not a bunch of queer sick-o's like you, Rosenberg, so get over it. She's… we're just friends."

"Whatever. How IS she? Is she ok?"

Harmony looks at her strangely for a moment. Then she leans in.

"She told me what you said. About… treating me better…" Harmony's face suddenly relaxes. "Thank you…" She looks around quickly, to be sure no one's listening. "She… if you really want to know … she's… look, she could use someone up there. To talk to. She can't come to school. She… can't deal with it. I'm trying to help, but she could use … you said you were her friend. Prove it. Go there, talk to her, ok?" Her face hardens a little. "That is, if you can find time in your busy schedule, what with all the gay pride parades and stuff…"

Willow sighs. She can't even ask a favor without getting bitchy about it.

"I dunno, Harmony. I mean, considering everything, it might not be the best thing for me to go see her…"

"Figures, I told her you really don't give a crap…" Harmony says, returning to normal mode. "Don't do us any favors."

"It's not like that, Harmony. I do care about her. I just figured, her being all upset, I didn't figure me being there would help things…"

"Look, she wants to see you. God knows why," Harmony says, tightly. "That's why I'm here. That and to get her some course work. Something to keep her mind busy…" Harmony moves closer, and Willow steps back a bit. "I'm not going to hit you, stupid." She moves closer again. "Look, she doesn't… she doesn't have too many friends. Real friends. And she's… she's lonely. Ok? She needs someone to talk to, and for some strange reason, she trusts you. She… just do it, ok? Don't make me beg." Harmony's façade cracks a little. "I'm worried about her, ok? Just …"

"Ok, I'll come…" She puts out her hand, touching Harmony's shoulder. "She's lucky to have you…"

"God. Don't touch me!" Harmony says loudly, moving away. "I don't want your rainbow cooties, ok? Keep your gay hands to yourself!"

Without ceremony, she walks off, leaving Willow standing there, looking foolish.

Ok, there's a good case for enforced confinement… she shouldn't be let out without a keeper or two…

"Are you done now?"

"Xander, " Willow turns around to face him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you…"

"Forget it, everybody's a little edgy… what did she want, anyway?"

"Nothing…"

"C'mon, Will. We promised, after the last time? " Xander looks at her. "What did she talk to you about?"

"Just… Cordelia wants to see me…" Willow shrugs. "Don't know if I'm going…"

"You're thinking about it?"

"Xander, it's none of your buisness...

"Really? Who says so?"

"Xander! "You don't know the whole story?"

Then tell me.

They stand, glaring at each other for a moment.

"Can we talk about something else?" Willow finally backs down. "Really, I don't think we can talk about this…"

She trails off, and they stand around a bit awkwardly for a moment. They've been best friends since both can remember, and silences like this weren't at all comfortable.

"I guess we could talk about what we were going to talk about before Her Airheadedness showed up," Xander breaks the silence.

"Xander, I'm not sure you really want to hear…"

"Darn it, Will. I'm not a baby! Something's wrong. Dawn won't return my calls, and I gotta know why!"

"Can't you accept it's not you, and let that be enough until she does call you back?" Willow already knows the answer.

"I see. I should be patient, right? But let's say it was… oh, you and you were worried about Buffy and she wasn't calling you back. Wouldn't you be a bit upset?"

Willow blushes deeply. "It's not like that between Buffy and me. I … we're just good friends, and yes I'd be worried but…"

"But nothing. You'd be all Nancy Drew, and wanting to know what the heck is going on! So, I'm Joe Hardy. I gotta know!"

Much as she hates to admit it, she knows he's right. She'd be digging and digging to get at the truth. I so hate he knows me that well! Still, she's not loving having to tell him the truth. Not loving it at all.

"Ok, Xander. I warned you…" Willow's face goes a little grim. "Sit down."

Willow takes the next 30 minutes to tell Xander all she knows about what happened at the Summer's home, also explaining what she learned from Joyce, and also Buffy's condition. By the end of it. Xander is looking at her, opened mouth. His neck is flushed.

"Will, that's just… god, that's worse than a Passions plot! I can't believe that Buffy and her dad…" His face takes a slightly sickly look. "… it just seems so…"

"Wrong? Perverted? Monstrous…" Willow's own anger is bubbling just below the surface. "That … that creep is a …." She follows up with a word rarely heard to pass her lips. Xander looks surprised.

"Willow! Language! Do you kiss your mom with that mouth?"

"I don't kiss my mom at all if I can help it, Xander, " Willow says tightly. "And that doesn't make it any less true."

Xander gets an awful thought.

"You don't think… he didn't… I mean… Dawn…" He feels his own anger starting to perk. "If he even looked at her wrong, I'll kill the son-of-a-bitch…"

"Little late for that, don't you think Xander? He's already dead. That's why Faith is in jail… haven't you been listening?"

"Too much… and when I think of him thinking maybe about Dawn that way I…"

"See? This is why I didn't want to tell you, Xander. I knew you'd react like this, and you're not EVEN thinking. Dawn wasn't… she didn't… that didn't happen, ok? And you're thinking like this? Not going to help anyone…"

"But, he might have…"

"That's not the point, is it? The point is, if Dawn hasn't told you it happened, then you have to think it didn't happen. Otherwise… what? If it did, does that make her … damaged goods now?" Willow scrutinizes him closely.

"No! Of course not… but…"

"The 'but' is, IF anything happened to her, it's up to HER to tell you, and you go on from there. Hopefully…" Willow looks at him sternly."… being the guy I know and sticking by her, no matter what."

"Well yeah of course… god, Will, you know I'd never… that's… HOW DID THIS BECOME ABOUT ME?"

"You made it about you, by jumping to conclusions. I'm saying, stop it."

"Oh," Xander falls silent, a little embarrassed. "What about Faith?" He finally speaks.

"What? Oh… I dunno. I haven't heard. Still in jail, I guess, " Willow shrugs. "She hit him pretty hard… enough to kill him…"

"Good."

"What?"

"Good. I'm glad she did. He deserved to die. What he did… there's no forgiving that!"

"Xander!"

"No, I'm sorry, Will. He was a monster. A beast! Doing that to his own daughter!? And I'm supposed to what? Bake him cookies and hold hands and sing "Kumbaya" with him? I don't think so!"

"It's not your choice to make…"

"It IS my choice how I feel, Will!" He turns away, "Frankly, I think they should give her a medal, not put her in jail."

"Whatever you think, Xander, there are still laws. It has to be settled in court."

"Yeah, well, you know what? If they don't let her off, I swear …" Xander makes a rude noise. "They're not only wrong, but stupid, too."

Willow looks at the back of his neck, and can't help smiling. So passionate! Gotta love the guy, even if he's being kind of a butthead.

"Hey, Xan," Willow reaches over, patting his shoulder. "Don't sweat it. I'm sure it'll be ok."

"Yeah, sure."

"It will."

"Sure, sure…" Xander stands. "I gotta get to class."

"That's a first," Willow says, quietly.

"What?"

"You… wanting to go to class."

"Yeah, well, everything's weird."

"No argument here," She says, standing and hooking her arm through his. "Walk me to class?"

"Hey, better watch it. People will think you've gone straight."

"Naw," Willow chuckles, as they walk towards the main building. "Everyone knows you're a big old girl…"

"HEY!"

5

Avery Chase studies the front page of the paper with some interest.

Usually, he doesn't bother with the front page… Sensationalist garbage… but today is different. The top story catches his eye.

"Local businessman killed in domestic dispute. Suspect held for questioning" He reads the headline to himself. "Hank Summers, a local businessman and former CEO of Summerland Inc., was killed at the residence of his estranged wife last night in an apparent domestic dispute. Faith McKerrigan, friend of the wife, is being held for questioning…"

Avery lowers the paper, looking thoughtful. How odd. Seems Hank's failing luck finally ran out on him…

"Miss Kendall…" Avery looks up at Harmony.

Harmony is seated across from him. Except for a very small thong, and a pair of black thigh highs and heels, she is very naked. She returns his look, with a slightly bored expression. On leg is draped over the arm of the chair.

"Well, hi. Thought you'd never notice I was here," Harmony says, her voice slightly pouty. She swings her leg seductively. I did skip cheerleading pratice to be here. She smiles at him.

"I was well aware you were here, Miss Kendall. I was just otherwise occupied," Avery says, with some asperity. "Have you never heard of clothes?"

"What's wrong, Avery?" Harmony seems to almost slither out of her chair. She walks the short distance to his desk, and leans over. "Don't you like what I'm wearing?"

Avery smiles tightly. "You're well aware I appreciate your… charms, my dear," He reaches up, cupping her breast with his hand. His thumb flicks over the nipple, causing her to gasp. "Still, there is a time and place for everything…"

"I thought you liked my assets to be clearly visible at all times…" Harmony purrs, pushing her breast against his hand.

"There is more to life than sex…"

Harmony looks at him blankly.

"Well for some of us, anyway…" he amends. He puts the paper down in front of her. "This girl. Do you know her?"

Harmony looks, and shakes her head. "Never seen her."

"Strange…" He looks at the picture of Faith, his brow furrowed. "She seems familiar… I know I've heard her name before…"

Harmony looks again, and shrugs. "Nope. She looks sort of trashy, though…"

Avery gives her a glance, images of pots and kettles coming to mind.

"What?" She asks, noticing his expression.

"Nothing, my dear… " He leans back in his chair. "Not important. But, there is something important on my mind. Something about a little arrangement we had…?"

Harmony lets out a sigh, rolling her eyes. "God, do you ever think of anything else?" She asks, shaking her head. "I don't understand… aren't I woman enough for you?" She sits on the desk, leaning over. "Or maybe it's not a woman you really want. I can play the boy again… you seemed to like it when I …"

"That's enough, Harmony." Avery cuts her off. "We had a deal, and you, my dear, aren't living up to your end of the bargain…"

"God!" Harmony launches herself off the desk, all the right places jiggling in all the right ways. "You're so obsessed with this… stick. What is the deal?"

"The deal, as you so quaintly put it, is the challenge…" He looks at her, smirking. "I know a challenge isn't much to you, or any of your generation… but this one…" He reaches in his drawer, and pulls out a photograph. It's identical to the portrait on Ira Rosenberg's mantel, "… this one is… something else entirely. She's so innocent… so pure…" He looks at Willow's face with some avarice.

"What? Queer-O Rosenberg? Pure? Gimme a break…"

"Not in that way, you…" Avery bites back his words. "In spirit. In her … goodness. I know that kind of goes over your head… but she's perfect. Exactly what I want…it's been so long since I've had someone I could … break… so nicely… so completely…"

Harmony makes a face.

"You simply don't understand. The pain… the tears… so sweet. When I take her, make her… do the things I want… when I see the horror and disgust and self hatred in her eyes… it's better than ambrosia…"

"Ambrosia? Is that that Japanese beer? Cuz, I tried that, and it's…"

God, how stupid can you be? And live?

"Never mind, I'm wasting my time trying to explain. Just, I'm growing impatient. I love a challenge. And I'm patient… to a point. But we had a deal…" Avery stands up, and before Harmony can move, he's on her. He grabs her hair.

"Stop it! You're hurting me!" Harmony whines as Avery pulls on her hair. "Please, don't hurt me!"

"Oh, stop whining. I wouldn't touch you… not that way…" His finger runs down her arm. "I love the silky smoothness of your skin… and I'd never do anything to corrupt it…"

Harmony sighs in relief.

"However, Cordelia… now, that's a different story. Her skin is already criss crossed with scars. A few more…" He shrugs, surreptitiously scrutinizing her for a reaction.

Harmony looks at him sharply.

"You promised!"

Avery smiles, knowing he's hit a nerve.

"I promised… as long as you delivered. Well, I've been patient… but so far…" He shrugs,"… no delivery. And I'm getting impatient for my package…" His eyes narrows, and his smile fades. "Am I clear?"

"Look, it's been hard. It's not like we're friends or anything…"

"Excuses? Is that what I'm going to get? Because I seem to recall you making promises…"

"Can I finish, please?"

"May I"

"What?"

"May I finish. Please, try to speak proper English."

"May I finish, please?" Harmony repeats, impatiently.

"Please, do…"

"As I was saying, it's been hard. But I've finally convinced her, and all I have to do is call her…"

Avery holds out his cell phone.

"Now?"

Avery gives her a look.

"Ok, ok, geeze…" Harmony picks up the cell, and dials a number. She walks a little way off. Avery starts to follow, but she stops him with a look.

"Do you mind? I don't want her to accidentally hear you…"

Avery leans on his desk.

"Good… Oh, hello, Willow! Yes, it's me, Harmony…"

"I'm sorry, the number you've reached…" the voice on the cell says in Harmony's ear.

"…she's really in a bad way … yes, really bad…she needs you, Willow…"

"… is no longer in service at this time…"

" What? But, you've got to come! You promised!"

"… if you think you've reached this recording in error…"

"Yes, it's important. She's really hurting… god, don't you have a heart at all?"

Avery drums his fingers on the desk. He's not liking what he's hearing.

"… please, hang up…"

"Please, don't be that way. Do it for her… yes… thank you…"

Avery smiles.

"… and check the number, and dial again…"

"Yes, now. Can't you take a couple of minutes out from your stupid homework … ?"

Avery frowns.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just worried. She seems so lost… please, please…?"

"… Message 551719…"

"Thank you, yes… please, right away…please…"

Avery smiles again.

"Thank you, thank you so much Willow. I know… I owe you… yes, big time… yes…" Harmony pauses. "Ok, today? In an hour? Thanks…yes… goodbye…" She snaps the phone closed.

"There, happy?" She says with some petulance.

"Very, thank you. I had my doubts…" He says, coming to her. "But you seemed to have allayed them quite well…" He takes back his phone. He slips his arms around her waist. "So, what should we do while we're waiting for little Miss Rosenberg to show up?"

"I dunno…" She presses herself back into him. "I'm sure we could think of something…"

"I'm sure we could…" he presses himself forward into her soft ass. "Something nice…"

"But, don't you think we should have a drink?" She says, wiggling away. "To celebrate?"

She starts towards the wet bar in Avery's office.

"Harmony…"

Harmony stops, looking over her shoulder.

"Aren't you a bit young to be drinking?"

"Aren't I a bit young to be fucking?" She retorts.

Avery stares at her a minute, then laughs.

"Good point. Very good … very good… make mine a double…" he walks back over to his desk, and sits down, putting his feet up.

He can't see her very well from that position, but he really doesn't care. His mind is on other things. Things with red hair that will break sooo nicely… once he gets his chance.

He can't see her putting out the glasses, or pouring out the scotch.

He can't see her palm a little vial of clear, odorless liquid. Nor can he see her adding it to his drink. Nor can he see her tight little smile.

Harmony picks up the tumblers, and walking back to the desk, leans over and sets his before him. She clicks her glass against his, and smiles.

"Cheers. To everyone getting what they want." She smiles, sipping her drink and watching him.

"Indeed." He nods, taking a large swallow.

"You will let me watch, right?" She says, putting down her glass.

"Watch?"

"Yes… you promised you'd let me watch. I want to see that little cunt get exactly what she's got coming."

Avery smiles, taking another large swallow. "Dear, sweet and stupid Harmony. I have no plans on letting you watch anything…"

"What?"

"I have no plans on witnesses, my dear. This is an entirely private little game."

"But you promised!" Harmony flushes. "You promised I could watch her get what she's got coming to her!"

"Ahhh, but that's where your wrong. I never really promised that. You just assumed I did. And you know what assumptions do…"

Harmony stares at him furiously.

"Well, maybe you don't. But I wouldn't press it, my dear. Or…I might forget my other promises…" He smiles tightly. He takes another drink of his scotch, finishing it. " I think you should leave now…"

"But…"

"Harmony, leave!"

"This is so unfair! I did all the work and…"

"Life is often unfair…now, get lost. You're beginning to annoy me." Avery's tone becomes harsh.

"Fine… just fine!" Harmony walks to the chair, and grabbing her robe, slips it on. "See if I ever do you a favor again!"

"Oh… I think you will.. I think you will…" He smiles. He waves his hand at her. "Bye, bye now."

Harmony turns, and secretly smiles as she head for the study doors.

Bye, bye, Avery!

She lets herself out.

"Cordy?"

Harmony stands outside of Cordelia's bedroom, trying to get her to open the door. She's pretty worried about her.

It's later now, late evening, and the fanfare over Avery Chase's death has slowed down, though there were still reporters and police downstairs.

Thank god I came back and 'cleaned up', Harmony thinks to herself. Or, I could be so …

She lets out a breath, not wanting to go there. Not right now. Cordelia needed her right now.

"Cor, c'mon, open up!" Harmony knocks louder.

She hears something go crash, then something else. She begins to knock insistently.

"CORDELIA! Are you OK? Did you hurt yourself?" Harmony pounds on the door.

"God, Harm. Just go away, Ok? I'm fine; I've been telling you that all night. Just GO!"

Things had certainly not worked out as Harmony expected. Looking at the door, she wondered exactly what she had expected. All the excitement certainly hadn't been an element, but on reflection, she had to admit, it probably was to be expected.

What wasn't expected was Cordelia's initial reaction. After returning to 'clean up', and then meeting Cordelia at school, they'd returned to the mansion, where Harmony maneuvered things so she would 'find' Avery first.

Harmony braced for the explosion which never came. Not then. She turned to see Cordelia framed in the doorway, standing very still. Almost looking like a statue. She stared at her father's body, and for a moment, Harmony saw something pass through her. Then she looked at Harmony, with the strangest look. Harmony almost chilled to the bone. Cordelia walked over, and looking down at Avery, picked up the phone, dialing 911.

After that, she was like a rock in a storm, handling the maelstrom as it descended. Never blinking, never indicating anything was effecting her. But Harmony knew it was effecting her. It had to effect her, didn't it?

Later, when the Chief of Police arrived, and took over the questions by the press, Cordelia slipped away.

And now, it was later still, and Harmony had only been able to break away. And hearing the crashing and eerie silence otherwise, she was getting more than a little scared.

Did I do the right thing? Maybe I …no, it had to be done. It couldn't go on like this. Something had to give, and it had to be that monster…not Cordelia… not my sweet Cor…

"Baby, it's me. Harm. I just want to see you. Make sure you're ok…" Harmony starts knocking on the door again, amid sounds of things breaking.

It goes quiet, too quiet. Harmony feels a chill… afraid that Cordelia might hurt herself. She starts pounding on the door, desperate now to get inside, to get to Cordelia.

"Goddamn you," Cordelia flings open the door.

Harmony stands there, shocked. Cordelia is a mess. Her hair is wild, her mascara is running like rivers down her face. Her whole face is red, splotchy and puffy. Her clothing is in disarray, and she doesn't even seem to care, or notice.

"Can't you just go away? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FROM YOU????" Cordelia screams at her. "GO THE FUCK AWAY! I DON'T WANT YOU! I HATE YOU! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!"

"Cor, honey…"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!???" Cordelia starts pushing her. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME???" She pushes her more, pushing her down the hall. "Is that IT? You WANNA fuck ME? You DO, don't YOU? You LOVE ME, Don't you HARMONY? AREN'T I BEAUTIFUL? DON'T YOU WANT ME?"

"Cordy, you're scaring me!"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, BITCH!" Cordelia slaps her, hard. She shoves Harmony against the wall, and starts ripping at her clothes. "C'MON, baby. Get em off , so we can get it on. What's WRONG? Don't YOU want ME?" She starts rubbing up against Harmony.

"D-Don't…d-don't… p-please, b-baby," Harmony stutters,more scared than she's ever been scared before. "P-P-Pleaaasseee…"

"Puh Puh Please! Puh Puh Please!" Cordelia mocks her. " WHAT? You don't think I'M SEXY?" She rips at her own clothing. "MAYBE I'm NOT FUCKING SEXY ENOUGH FOR YOU NO MORE!" She grabs Harmony, and drags her into her room.

The room is beyond destroyed. Everything is everywhere, torn and destroyed. Clothing is all over, some ripped, some just thrown. The mirrors are smashed, along with various bottles of perfume and makeup, creating toxic looking puddles on the floor.

Cordelia drags her to the bed, throwing her down on it. She jumps on Harmony, pinning her down.

"So, what the fuck, Harm, "Cordelia's voice has gone quiet. Spooky, run for your life, quiet. "What's wrong, baby? Don't like the décor? Don't worry, we can buy more, lots more… c'mon, baby, lets FUCK!" Cordelia starts rubbing herself against Harmony's tummy. "Don't you like it? Aint IT GREAT?" She rips off the remains of her top. "How bout these? You love my tits! I know you do! Go on, go on suck 'em!"

"Stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop IT!" Harmony moans, slapping at her to keep her away.

"Aw, what? Tired of the me already? Well, FUCK ME! I FORGOT! Gotta pay you for your services, don't I?" She leans over, her face almost on top of Harmony's. "Tell me what you want, baby. Jewels? Clothes? Maybe a new car? That it? That makes you hot? Is that what you want? WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT? I'LL GET IT!!! JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT FROM ME!!!"

"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING!" Harmony yells, scared out her mind. She uses all her strength, and pushes Cordelia off her. She scrambles off the bed, trying to get away. Run away and run far and never ever come back again.

But she doesn't make it, because Cordelia is coming from a crazy place, and is faster. She blocks the door.

"Then what do you want? What is it? Tell me!" She grabs Harmony, forcing her back on the bed. She lies on her, not letting her up. "isn't that how it works? You get what you want, and I get… what? FUCKED? Isn't that it? ISN'T THAT WHAT WE'RE ABOUT????"

"NOOO! NOOOO!" Harmony screams, going a little crazy herself. "I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO HELP YOU! I WANT TO MAKE IT BETTER!"

"Nooooo… NOOOOO!" Cordelia suddenly looks frightened. She gets off Harmony, stumbling backwards, away from her. "Nooo… She said that! Willow! She said you love me, and … no one loves me! NO ONE! YOU HEAR ME! NO ONE COULD LOVE ME! I'M EVIL! I'M EVIL!" She sinks down to her knees, and leans against the wall, hugging herself. "No one can love me, I'm bad, I'm evil , I'm bad! Don't you get it!"

Harmony, scared, but also wanting, needing to help her, hold her, gets off the bed. She goes over towards her, but Cordelia backs off, scrambling against the wall, trying to cover herself.

"No, don't please, I'm sorry. Go, go on I won't… I'm sorry, don't please don't love me … don't LOVE me!"

"Cordelia, baby, shhh…" Harmony slows down, but she slowly moves closer. "Don't be silly. Of course you're not evil. You deserve to be loved…"

"NO! I deserve NOTHING! NOTHING!" She covers herself. "I deserve nothing." She says, quietly, hugging herself.

"Baby…"

"No, I'm evil. I'm evil, Harmony. Evil…"

"Baby. Don't do this. Don't. You're not evil, " Harmony says softly, moving closer.

"I am, I am. I know I am. I've got to be evil!"

"Baby…" Harmony closes on her, putting her arms around her.

Cordelia struggles to get away, but not too hard. Harmony, stronger than she looks, holds her close.

"Don't, let me hold you. Just let me hold you," Harmony says softly, soothingly.

"But I'm evil… I don't deserve this… I don't…" She looks at Harmony, her eyes frightened, lost.

"Baby, why? Why do you think you're evil?"

"I am, don't you see? I have to be evil. I have to be…." She looks at Harmony. "You'll hate me, I know you will, but …I'm glad… "

"Glad?"

Cordelia ducks down, trying to hide herself even more. But there's no where else to go.

"Glad. GLAD! He's… he's dead, and I'm glad! I'm glad he's dead! I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD!"

Harmony's heart breaks, and she pulls Cordelia close, rubbing her and comforting her.

"Shhhh… Shhhh…"

"I'm evil, don't you see? He's my daddy, and I'm glad he's dead! I'm evil…" She sobs miserably.

"It's ok, it's ok now, baby," Harmony holds her close. So close.

"I'm evil… I'm evil…" Cordelia looks down at her hands, then up at Harmony.

"What's wrong with me?"

6

"Where's mom?"

Buffy emerges from the hotel bathroom, drying her hair with a towel. Another is wrapped around her body. She walks over to one of the beds in the room, and plops down.

"She went out," Dawn says shortly, staring at her sister. Her expression is anything but pleasant.

"Yeah, figured that… not seeing her here," Buffy replies. "I kinda asked where she went."

"Are you done in there?" Dawn, changing the subject, stands up and walks to the bureau. She opens the drawer, and pulls out some underwear. "Been in there forever," She grumbles under her breath.

"For now…" Buffy looks at her sister, hearing her grumbling. "Something wrong, squirt?"

Dawn looks at her sister, and you can just see her biting her tongue to hold back a comment. Instead, she starts towards the bathroom.

"No, nothing," She says quietly as she passes by.

"Whoa up, sis," Buffy grabs her robe, causing her to stop. "What's bugging you?"

"Let go of my robe, Buffy," Dawn says, her voice cold.

"No, you're all cranky this morning," Buffy says, standing up and going in front of Dawn. "You've been in a mood since you got up. So, what is it?" She looks concerned.

Dawn stares at her a moment, wanting to mash her face with her fist. Instead, she just balls them up at her side.

"Just get out of my way, Buffy," Dawn says, each word measured. "I want to take a shower now."

"Look. I know it's been hard, all squeezed together like this. I get it. But it's almost over. You heard mom. They're just about done with the place, and we can go back home tomorrow…"

"Yes, we get to go home. We do," Dawn stares at her. "Everything is just back to normal, right? Except… oh yeah, Faith! What about her? Does she get to come home, too? Oh, that's right… that's a big NO!"

"Hey, wait a minute!" Buffy protests, "that's not my fault! I tried to tell the police they had it wrong. I told anyone who would listen to me. I talked til I was turning blue, and no one listened to me! What am I supposed to do?"

Dawn eyes just scan over her, and she lets out a breath. She pushes past Buffy, shoving her back a little.

"You did your best. Right. Got it," She says, just before she disappears through the bathroom door.

Buffy tries to follow her in, but Dawn slams the door in her face, and she hears the door lock click.

"I did… I really DID!" She calls through the door. "Dawnie, please. It's not over yet. I'm going back, I'm not gonna let this happen…" She pounds on the door. "C'mon, Dawn, talk to me, please?"

There's no answer from the bathroom. She hears the shower come on, and giving up, she walks back to a bed, flopping down on her back and staring up at the ceiling.

What does she want? I don't get her! I didn't mean for this to happen, but she's acting like I set it all up. Is that what she thinks? I did this on purpose? I killed dad on purpose? Just so I could fuck UP EVERYONE'S LIFE!!!!????

TBC.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Cont.

A strong wave of nausea goes through her body, she turns over on her side, curling up into a ball. grabbing the box of saltines by the bed, she tries hard to hold back the tears. She can't cry now; not now. I'm such a fuck up. Always the fuck up. And I gotta fix this, gotta fix this… can't lose it now… I can't… I can't….  
"Buffy?"

Joyce comes in to see her daughter curled up in a ball, and her heart sinks. Her emotions are all over the place.

On one hand, she can't help wanting to protect her baby. When she thinks of what that… monster calling himself her father did to her, it makes her blood boil.

And there's guilt, big guilt. She wonders where she was, that she didn't see what was happening right in front of her. Some part of her can't forgive herself for that one.

She also knows that Buffy is carrying a lot of guilt with her. Guilt, and pain, and a sense of not knowing who to believe, who to trust. She knows she can't protect her from everything, and in a way, she knows it's better if she doesn't. Otherwise, it could be a lot worse for her.

And there's the big hole in her heart because Faith, her love, her life; her everything wrapped in this incredibly sexy wrapper, is languishing in jail. All because she has some misguided sense of needing to prove herself part of this family.

Even if it costs everything.

That's the worst part for Joyce. She's finally found someone that makes her feel alive, and loved, and now she's gambling with what they have, because, in Joyce's opinion, she's just too stubborn to accept help.

"Mom?" Buffy sits up, pushing down the hurt and doubts. "Hi." She swings her legs over the edge of the bed, and starts to get up.

"Don't get up, honey. That's ok. I just got some breakfast here… " She holds up a bag. "Is Dawn in the bathroom?"

"Yeah."

It had to be a mom thing. But Joyce could hear every little bit of emotion freighted in that one word. Oh dear, now what? She thought, looking at her oldest daughter. For the sake of sanity and peace, however, even for a few moments, she decided not to push it.

"Ok, hon. Anyway, breakfast is here when you're ready," She places the bag down on the small table in the quasi sitting room at the front of the room."

"Mom? We've gotta go back to the police station. I've got to convince them Faith didn't have anything to do with dad's death. Please, mom… I know if I can just talk to them again, I can get them to believe me…"

Joyce lets out a sigh. "Honey, I know you want to help Faith. But the prints on the bat are hers. And she insists that you were out before anything happened. She says she came in and gave Hank a hit, not meaning to kill him, but he moved, and… " Joyce shrugs. "Now, I love that you want to help her, honey. And I'm sure, with a good lawyer, we can argue self defense…"

"She didn't DO it mom, that's what I'm saying! Dad… was beating on her. I thought he was going to kill her. And I just wanted him to leave her alone. I did it mom. ME. Don't you believe me?"

"Honey…"

"This is MY fault, mom. Mine, and I've got to pay for it. Not Faith, ME."

"Ok, Buffy, that's enough now…"

"No, mom, it's really not…" Dawn emerges from the bathroom. She's not smiling. "Buffy's right. This is her fault, and she has to make it right."

"You believe me Dawn?" Buffy is surprised at the unexpected support.

"That you hit dad? No, gimme a break, Buffy. You couldn't hit a cow at 3 feet. But this is your fault. If not for you, none of this would've happened, and Faith wouldn't be in jail right now."

"Dawn!" Joyce exclaims. "How can you say that? Buffy's the victim here…"

"Oh god, MOM! Stop it! You're doing it again!" Dawn crosses to her mom, standing in front of her. "Buffy makes a huge mess, she throws everybody's life into turmoil, and you stand there, trying to excuse her. Well, that's just crap, mom!" She turns to Buffy. "Buffy's not a child. She knew what she was doing was wrong. But did that stop her? No, it didn't, did it Buff?"

Buffy stands there, frowning. She wants to deny it, but she can't. She's right. I … this is my fault. I should've stopped it, should've told Dad to stop… but I didn't… and now…

"How could you, Buffy? How could you? Sleep with DAD? That's beyond disgusting! That's…" Dawn looks like she wants to vomit. "…and now, because of it, Dad's dead, and Faith is in jail. I'm sorry, but I'm sick of it. Buffy might not be totally responsible, but she's not innocent, either. She could've stopped this before it blew up, and she didn't. And now, once again, she's going to get off with a slap on the wrist. IF even that!" She turns back to her mom. "And you let her do it. Every time. Even when it involves Faith, whom you're supposed to love…" She shrugs her shoulders,"… but who cares, right, mom? Cuz it's Buffy. So what if Faith goes to jail for her, right? Even if she's such a slut she forgets how to use birth control…"

"Be quiet, Dawn. That's uncalled for!"

"No it's not. Buffy's pregnant… by DAD! It's sick, it's perverted! It should be ABORTED!"

"Mom, no! We talked about this, you know that. Even Faith thinks I should keep the baby…"

"Right, Buffy, and when it comes out with 3 eyes and retarded?"

"Dawn!" Joyce yells.

"No, it's wrong. It's all wrong, but you're siding with her. Well I'm sick of it. All of it, and I'm really sick OF YOU!"

Joyce, pushed to her limits, strikes out. She slaps Dawn.

And immediately, is sorry.

"Oh, honey… I'm so sorry… but… you can't just say things like that… it's not right…"

But Dawn backs away. She holds up her hands, and is visibly shaking. From anger or fear, it's not clear.

She moves to the closet, grabbing some of her clothes. She then heads for the bathroom to change.

"Dawn, honey, please…"

"No, just leave me alone!" She turns to Buffy, an angry look on her face. "Happy now, Buff? Are you? You've done it again, just like you've been doing forever, it seems. You've ruined EVERYBODY'S life." She turns back to her mother. "I… I can't be here anymore. Not with you, or her… I'm sorry, but … I'm gonna see if I can stay with Willow. I'm not part of this… I won't be part of this circus anymore!"

"Dawn, don't," Buffy says, quietly. She moves over, and grabs some stuff out of the bureau. Then she moves the closet, grabbing a change of clothing.

"What're you doing?" Joyce asks, going over to her.

"Dawn's right, mom. You do always try to protect me, and now… you just can't. I'm going to dress, and then I'm going to the police station. And I'm going to stay there until someone believes me."

"Buffy, don't be ridiculous…"

"I'm not, mom. I'm finally not being ridiculous. Or a child. I've got to do this. I've got to stand on my own two feet…"

"I'm still your mother, young lady, and I forbid you to go!" Joyce tries to grab at her clothing.

"Mom, please, don't, " Buffy looks at her, her face determined. "This is something I need to do. Please, don't make it any more difficult, ok?"

"Buffy, don't!" Dawn moves over towards her. "I was just … I didn't mean what I said."

"Dawn? You're a really crappy liar, you know that? You meant every word. And you're right. I should've stopped it… and I didn't… and now, I gotta do this…"

She moves towards the bathroom, but Dawn blocks her.

"Buff, don't be an idiot. I said I'm sorry, and I am. I'm just worried about Faith…"

"Yeah, well… just move, ok?" This time, she shoves Dawn out of the way, and slips into the bathroom. She locks the door behind her.

"Mom, you've got to stop her. I really didn't mean those things I said…"

Joyce just shakes her head. Her mouth is a tight line across her face.

"Buffy's right on this one, Dawn. You did mean it, and right now, I'm very upset with you…" She picks up her purse, and pulls out her wallet. She puts some money on the dresser. "That should be enough for lunch and dinner. I don't think I'm going to be back before then. And if you have an emergency, you can reach me on my cell."

"Where are you going?"

"When Buffy comes out? Taking her to the police station, and staying with her as long as she needs me there…"

"I'll get dressed. I'll go with…"

"No, you're right, Dawn. You're not part of this. Maybe you should think about going to school today."

"But, Mom…"

"Or maybe, you should think of how incredibly stupid what you said was. Right now? I don't want to talk about it, or really, with you."

Before Dawn can say anything more, Buffy emerges from the bathroom, dressed. She heads for the door, and Joyce joins her.

"Mom, please. Don't try to stop me…"

"I'm not, honey. I'm going to drive you. It's a bit of a walk to the police station." She turns to Dawn. "I'll be back later…" She turns to Buffy once more. "You ready to go?"

Buffy nods, and both women leave the hotel room.

Dawn, stunned by the turn of events, doesn't know exactly what to do.

She walks over, and sitting on the edge of the bed, stares at the floor.

7

"Aw, crap!"

Willow stopped, and leaning against the cliff face, struggled to take off her sneaker. Shaking it out, she notes a large pebble hit the trail in front of her.

"I hate the beach," She grumbles, replacing her shoe and tying it. "Why did she want to meet here, anyway? She knows I turn into a lobster at the beach. Why couldn't we just meet at the Bronze, or the Espresso pump or something if she didn't want to meet at her house?"

Grumbling, Willow follows the path along the sea cliffs. The sound of lose rock crunching under her feet just adds to her annoyance. This sucks, you know? I've got other things to do … better things to do than go acting like some stupid mountain goat…

Yeah, that's been your excuse the last couple of months, right? Better things to do? Couldn't even take an hour or so to go and visit her? She's your friend… you both agreed to that back on that night…

Willow can't help feeling guilty. She planned to find some way to make a fresh start with Cordelia. And then, with her Father dying… and all the stuff in the papers … even though they tried to hush up the details… wonder what that was about? Why the secrecy, anyway?… she vowed she'd go see her, because she knew she'd need support. But with Buffy, and all the attendant craziness, she'd had an excuse to put it off. And put it off. Yeah, great friend you turned out to be, huh? Maybe that's why you're so annoyed, because you're feeling just a little guilty?

The call had come out of the blue. Before she could even think of a reason to refuse, she agreed to meet with Cordelia. Early, on the sea cliffs. Brilliant move, Willow almost slips on the rocks. Really brilliant!

Still, something in Cordelia's voice didn't allow her to refuse. Not exactly desperation or neediness… god, I don't know what, but I just couldn't say no… She looks down, the quickly looks back up, feeling a bit of vertigo. Still, does she have to torture me this way?

She rounds a corner, and stops. There, sitting at the far edge of a little plateau, Cordelia is sitting, looking out at the sea.

Willow has sort of kept in touch with Harmony, since she shows up occasionally at school… something Cordelia doesn't. Harmony warned her about some changes. But this is more than Willow expected.

Gone is the long mane of hair, thick and lustrous. Instead her hair is cut very short, barely brushing her shoulders. And Willow doesn't know if it's the sun, but she would swear her hair looks lighter… she can definitely see some streaks in it… something the 'old' Cordelia would never allow.

She is dressed differently, too. No designer jeans here. God, those look like they came straight off the shelf at the gap! And her shoes, boots, looked old, and scuffed. Certainly not what Cordelia would normally wear. Completing the 'ensemble' is a gray hooded sweat shirt.

Yet, somehow, she even makes this look glamorous. How does she do that, anyway?

Cordelia turns, and seeing Willow, smiles.

"Hey."

"Hey," Willow responds, not moving. Not sure if she wants to get too close until she's sure of Cordelia's mental state.

"So, what? You gonna stand there all day? Come over here and sit down. Promise, I won't bite."

Well, tongue is sharp as always, Willow thinks as she moves over and sits down.

"So, what do you want, Cor?"

"Well, gee, Will. It's good to see you too. How've you been?"

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry. I meant to come see you sooner, but things have been rather crazy lately, and I've been busy."

"Yeah, I get it," Cordelia says, turning back to the sea.

"I mean it. Things have been crazy. With Buffy's dad dying…" She continues on, nervously. "I mean, first Faith is accused, and then Buffy goes in and confesses she did it, and the D.A. makes up some crazy theory that they were both in it, and Buffy being under house arrest, because she's pregnant, and I'm trying to be sure she's ok and getting to the doctor and then trying to help Dawn who's imploding and Joyce who's off the wall with worry and her having to put up her house and gallery and…"

"I said, I got it, I read the papers Will.. " Cordelia sighs, hugging herself, "My dad died too…"

"I know, I'm sorry…" Willow puts a hand on her shoulder. "I mean, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't really be sorry he's dead… not after what you told me…"

"My loss?" Cordelia chuckles dryly, as if Willow made a joke. "My loss. Yeah, that's good, Will…" She turns to her, her expression unreadable. "I'm sure Avery would love it if I were mourning him. I'm sure he's somewhere, screwing something, wanting me to miss him…"

"Cor…"

"No, no pity Will, ok? The more I think about him, and what he did to me, the more I hate that man. That …" Cordelia struggles to keep it clean, and fails. "That fucking bastard!"

"Cor, you're angry right now. It's part of grief. Give it time. You'll feel differently…"

"God, I hope not! He was… he was… aw shit, he's gone. He can't do anything to me anymore. He was a fucking prick bastard, raping me, getting me to offer up my friends like a bunch of sacrificial goats, all because I thought I loved him! I wanted to please him, be LIKE him. God, I was good, wasn't I, Will? I was perfect. The perfect little Avery clone, in a female wrapper! I don't ever wanna feel different, Willow. Not about that bastard. Not after what he did to me, what he made me. I was a monster, just like him…"

"That's not true, Cordelia! You were doing what you had to do to survive. You can't blame yourself for what he did…"

"What about what I did?"

"He made you that way…"

"Oh, right…" Cordelia mocks, "So, I guess if I'd offered you up, you'd forgive me now? Is that what your saying, Will? Cuz, I could've been spared a few beatings if I had…"

"God, Cordelia, how could you even ask that?"

"Precisely, Willow. That's my point. Easy to blame Evil Avery, but I had my hand in his … schemes too. I almost gave you up to him. Almost, that's my only saving grace. You were my only saving grace…"

"Cor…"

"Let me finish, ok? Like I said, I've had lots of time to think, but no one to talk to about it… I can't talk to Harm. I mean, she's sweet, and she loves me, and I love her, but when it comes to the serious stuff?" Cordelia shakes her head. "She's just not capable… "

"Give her time, Cor. She's not as dumb as she puts on. She's just used to deferring to you."

"I wish she'd stop it… but I won't hold my breath waiting for it…"

"Is that why you brought me here? To complain about Harmony?"

"No…" Cordelia lets out a long sigh. "No, I wanted to say I'm sorry…"

"What?"

"About what I did to you, what I almost did to you…"

"Cor, we've covered that. I'm not saying I'm over it. I'm not sure I'll ever get over it completely, but I live with it, and I forgive you."

"Thing is, Willow, I can't just live with it. The more I think about things, the more I find. And I'm realizing something now. Something that makes me even worse than I thought." She stops, cocks her head, and frowns. "I'm so jealous of you…"

"What? Jealous of me?"

"Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, I think I was even jealous… back then. Not consciously. Hell, I had everything, or so I thought… but I know now I'm so jealous of you. What you had. Parents, real parents. Not … what I had… do you even know how good you had it? Have it?"

Willow looks at her in amazement.

"What? You think I had it easy? Get real. How do you think my dad reacted when I came out? He hated me! Oh yeah, my 'perfect' dad couldn't even look at me, he hated me so much…" Willow shakes her head. "Ok, maybe … maybe that's too harsh. But he hated what I was. He thought I was … he thought I was …" Willow can't even say it, it hurts too much, still. "Even now, even though we're trying, both of us, to be more tolerant, I can still tell he hates that I'm gay. He thinks it's perversion. He can't help it, it's the way he was raised. But believe me, that doesn't make it any better."

"At least, you've got a mom …"

"Yeah, when she's there. And even then, it's more about how she appears to others, than how she cares about me. She's all into the social stuff, and the latest theories on anything. She doesn't have time to really talk to me, to get to know me. I don't even think she cares…"

"But she's there, Willow. And she's alive, and she never abandoned you to a monster…"

"Your mother's dead?"

"Yeah, I found out… just recently, at my dad's funeral. My aunt Jenny showed up. Out of the blue. Shit, I didn't even know I had an Aunt Jenny ,and damn there she is. And we talked. A lot. How my mother was weak, and loved Avery, but couldn't take the abuse. And she left, and she wanted to take me, but Avery scared her off. Threatened her. And she … she couldn't live with herself, and she killed herself…"

And it breaks. Cordelia's cool breaks. Tears rush down her cheeks, smearing what little makeup she's wearing.

"Oh, god, Cordelia I didn't know…" Willow takes her in her arms, hugging her.

"I thought… I thought she hated me. That's what Avery told me. She hated me, never loved me. Left ME!" Cordelia sobs, shaking in Willow's arms.

"Shhh, shhh, it's ok, Cor, it's ok…"

"No, it's not ok…" Cordelia breaks away, pulling herself together. "It'll never be ok, Will. I hated her. Hated her for leaving me, for not loving me, and all the time she did love me. I wished she would die, and she did die, and now? I just wish I had one day with her. Even a hour…"

Her mask, the mask she's worked on for years, falls back into place. She's under control again.

"But I guess, I'll never get that. Too late for regrets, Will. Too fucking late."

"Cor, what can I do? How can I help?" Willow can't help but feel her pain. She doesn't want to, but she can't help it.

"I don't want to be like him, Will. I don't want to be him anymore."

"You're not! You're not like him at all…"

"Bullshit, and you know it. It's too easy for me to be exactly like him. I'm fighting every day to be different… to make it right. To make things right." Her face softens. "But I need help, Will. I need your help."

"I want to help, Cor. I do. But I don't have a clue…"

"I'm rich, Willow. Filthy, stinking rich. I have to give it to old Avery, he knew how to make money. He left me a pile, and when I'm 25 and take over the business, I'll have a lot more…" She grips Willow's hand, firmly. "Thing is, I don't wanna be like him, Will. I don't want to be anything like him. I've got all this fucking money, and I want to do good things. Things to make up for the crap he did, for the crap I did. And I can do it, I know I can, but I just don't know how…that's where you come in."

"I don't understand."

"Will, you're good with this stuff. The goody- goody stuff, you know? You know stuff, stuff I don't know. I need someone to help me make things right…" She looks into Willow's eyes. "You're the smartest, best person I know. Will you help me?"

Willow can't help blushing.

"I… I want to, I really do. But I can't … not now, anyway. Not with what's happening with Buffy and everything… I just have to be there for her…"

"I understand… and that's …I want to help there, too. See, I did screw with her, and enjoyed it. Yeah, I did. But I did wrong, and I've had lots of time to think about it. Lots of time. Seems lately, that's all I've done… is think. Think and… well, check into things…"

"Ok, again, you're confusing me. What does that mean?"

"It means, Willow, that my dear old dad screwed Buffy's dear old dad out of his business. I only learned it when one of the accountants was going over things, sort of demonstrating what I would be responsible for, when I came of age. Thing is, he happened to pick out a business deal between my dad and Buffy's dad. I asked about it… oh, screw that, I grilled him about it, because … well, it concerned Buffy, and I already was feeling guilty about things… and he bragged how my dad had cut out this one partner, named Hank Summers. He somehow got something on him, and blackmailed him. He thought it was clever. I wanted to throw up…"

"Whoa. You're saying Avery stole Hanks' business?"

"Oh yeah he did. And I want to make it right. He had no right to do that… and I wanna fix it. No… " Cordelia frowns. "… I have to fix it. After what I nearly did to Buffy, I owe it to her…"

"Kind of late, Cordelia. Hank's dead…"

"Yeah, I know. But still, she needs help, right? I mean, legal help…"

"Yeah… but Joyce has it covered. She's getting the best lawyer she can afford for them…"

"But what if I could get her the best criminal lawyer on the west coast?"

"You… you could do that?"

"Oh yeah. Brian Farmer. Best criminal defense attorney… just happens to work for one of the many firms my Father has an interest in…" She grins.

"That sounds expensive…" Willow says. "I mean, I'm sure Joyce would be appreciative… but she couldn't afford it."

"Who said she had to? From what I can gather, Hank's business has been very profitable. I think his fair share for the business would more than cover Brian's fees…"

To say willow is surprised is a grave understatement.

"You'd do that?" She gets wary. "Ok, why would you do that?"

"You don't trust me?" She gets her answer from Willow's expression. "Ok, I guess I've got that coming. But this isn't some scheme, Will. I really do want to change…"

"But why help Buffy? You could give money to any charity…"

"Let's say we have something in common. We both lost our father recently. And we're both kind of in trouble, but in different ways. Say… say I feel for her… and I get where she's coming from…"

Willow looks at her, a strange expression on her face.

"What else do you know about her?"

"Nothing, really. Well, what I've read in the papers… that she's pregnant. I guess … this really must be a rough time for her…look, really, I know you think I'm up to something, but I'm not. I want to help, no strings, no favors…"

Willow debates with herself for what to her seems like hours, but is only seconds.

"I want… no, I need to tell you something, but I need you to keep it in confidence. Promise me, on whatever you hold sacred…?"

"I do. I promise… but why the mystery?"

"You have to know, Cor, that you and Buffy have a lot more in common than you think…".

7

The trial itself was anti-climatic.

Anti-climatic, and surreal, from Buffy's point of view anyway.

She spent a couple of weeks, sitting at the defense table, watching as the parade of witnesses, experts and police took the stand, testifying for the prosecution or defense.

The prosecution, led by a young ADA named Jason Wheets, tried to prove some kind of elaborate conspiracy between Buffy and Faith, based upon Faith's tampering with the bat, and other circumstantial evidence. It was almost Grand Guignol in its drama, focusing on the lurid details of the 'relationship' between Buffy and her father, and weaving a pattern worthy of the worst of soap operas. Buffy alternated between feeling sick and feeling luridly fascinated by the utter garbage coming out of the prosecution.

Their own lawyer, Brian Farmer, started on the offensive, and never moved from there. From day one of the prosecution's case, he blew holes in the 'murder by conspiracy' theory, framing the case in its true context: A girl was assaulted and molested by her father, and through accident, he was killed. Self defense, pure and simple.

The judge and jury agreed, finding Buffy and Faith not guilty of murder, conspiracy and all related charges.

Except evidence tampering. For some reason only known to themselves, the jury returned a verdict of guilty on the charges of evidence tampering against Faith. It made no sense, except that the nature of Faith's relationship with Joyce came out during the trial (so much for not going public), and perhaps the community as a whole, and the jury in particular was wagging its collective finger at them. Whatever the reason, the judge looked a little disgusted by the finding.

"Ms. McKerrigan," Judge Aaron Kaplan looked at Faith, who with Buffy was standing at the reading of the verdict. "You've been found guilty of evidence tampering, a class 3 felony…" He looked briefly over at the jury, his annoyance plain on his face. "Evidently your peers seem to think you shouldn't go unpunished, for whatever reason. I must say, after all you've been through, I couldn't disagree more."

Buffy and Faith, along with Mr. Farmer, stood quietly, an air of nervous tension still at the defense table.

Maybe he'll just throw it out. I mean, he can do that, can't he? Buffy thought to herself, hoping this nightmare would just end, finally.

"However, I'm not one to overturn a jury's verdict, as much as I disagree with it. I want that plainly in the record, just how much I disagree…" He glanced at the verdict sheet, and shook his head, letting it drop back on the bench. "Evidence tampering carries a possible 5 years in prison, and 5000 dollars fine. For the life of me, however, I can't see the value of putting you in prison. You acted hastily, I agree, and wrongly. However, your motives were good, and putting you in jail would just be foolish. You're no threat to the community. I'm sure your peers, " again he threw a disgusted glance at the jury, "… would agree."

"Therefore, I'm sentencing you to 2 years probation. Also, so you realize that the court doesn't encourage tampering with a police investigation, I'm sentencing you to 250 hours of community service. I'm pretty sure that will satisfy everyone." He brought his gavel down sharply. "We're done here, people." He rose to leave.

"All rise!" The bailiff called out, and as the courtroom rose to its feet, the judge turned and swept out of the room.

"We won?" Buffy looked stunned, and still felt confused, as if in a bad play.

"We won," Brian Farmer agreed. "Congratulations."

He is quickly surrounded by Buffy and Faith, who hug him almost simultaneously. He doesn't get off easy, as their support team, including Xander, Dawn, Oz, Willow and Joyce surround him, congratulating him, Faith and Buffy.

"Thank god it's over!" Joyce hugged Buffy tightly.

"Yeah, it's over," Buffy said quietly. She broke from her mother's embrace. "I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little… do you mind? I think I need some air…" She stood there, looking a little pale and wan. She nodded at the exit, indicating she wanted to step into the hallway.

"Are you ok, honey? Do you want me to come with you?"

"No! I mean, no, I'm ok, I'm just stressed out, and junior is kicking up a storm inside…" She put a hand on her swollen belly. "I think we both need a few moments to settle down."

Joyce looked at her daughter with a mixture of worry and a little pride. Over the months, since she walked out of that hotel room, determined to do the right thing, Buffy has changed. She no longer was so prickly and so quick to temper. As she grew in size, her temper and rebelliousness seemed to shrink. Much as she hated the hows and whys of Buffy's pregnancy, in terms of maturity, she couldn't be more impressed.

But that didn't keep her from worrying about her.

"Ok, honey. You go ahead. We'll be out in a few moments." Joyce wanted nothing more than to play watchdog over her daughter, but she also knew pushing it would only upset her more. And she's had enough stress lately. Too much! Way too much stress…

As she watched Buffy make her way towards the exit, a pair of arms encircled her. She smiled, and turning, found her lips captured by a familiar pair.

"I guess this means conjugal visits are over?" Joyce teased Faith, knowing serious wouldn't go down well right now. There had been enough of serious lately to last both for a lifetime… or two. They both needed a serious break from the drama of their lives.

"Yeah, I'll show you conjugal," Faith's hand slips around, squeezing her.

"Faith, we're in a courtroom!" Joyce blushes. But that doesn't stop the tingles.

"Just exercising my constitutional rights here, babe." Faith leans her head against Joyce's shoulder. She sighs softly. "God, I'm fucking glad that's over!"

And the serious is back, in spades. Joyce can feel the younger woman shaking in her arms.

"Hey, it's ok now," She soothes the younger woman, stroking her back. "It's going to be fine now…"

"Yeah, just… God, hate to admit it, but I was fucking scared there for a moment…or a few. The look on the juror's faces when they came back in, I thought for sure they were gonna send me and Buffy away forever…"

"The prosecutor was…is… a moron. Did he really think you and Buffy cooked up some plot to kill Hank? I think he was trying to make a splash… and fell right in the mud puddle. Well, good! I hope he gets canned!" Joyce says, her anger increasing.

"Whoa! Slow down, chill Joyce! He was just doing his job!"

"Job, my ass! Persecuting two young girls because some… monster… tried to …" Joyce gets angrier.

"Wow… so butch!" Faith teases her. "I like it!"

Joyce stops, looks at Faith, and starts to laugh.

"How do you do that?" Joyce says, pulling her close and hugging her.

"What?" Faith said, feeling a little crushed. "Ooof!"

"Make me laugh. At myself." Joyce eased up a bit.

"It's a gift, girl. Face it, I'm special."

"Yeah, or truly crazy. I'm going for the latter."

"I guess I must be," Faith admits, pulling away a little. "I mean, look who I hooked up with."

"You!" Joyce gave her a whack on the bottom. "When I get you home…"

"Promises, Joyce, always with the promises!" Faith laughs. "So, can we get out of here now?"

"Sure, just let me collect Buffy out of the hallway, and we'll…"

"Joyce? Hallway? She went outside?" Faith's face grows a little pale.

"Yes. She said she wasn't feeling well, and wanted to get some…" and it hits her.

Sunnydale isn't a big town, and something like this trial isn't the usual run of the mill thing.

"Oh god, the reporters! I didn't even think about that!" Joyce says, breaking away and heading for the door.

Faith follows her in hot pursuit.

"What's going on?" Willow turns to Tara, who's standing next to her.

"I don't know… but it doesn't look good," Tara says, watching them go.

They give each other a look, and follow after the couple quickly.

Buffy looked like she was a doe, caught in the headlights. She was surrounded by reporters. The rapid fire questions, mixed with the strobe effect caused by flash guns going off, made her heart thump crazily in her chest.

"Ms. Summers. How does it feel to be acquitted of all charges?"

"Is it true that you and your father had an ongoing affair?"

"What does your mother think of all this?"

Fortunately, Oz saw Buffy leave, and realizing that the paparazzi might be out in force, followed her. He inserts himself between the pack and the lamb, shielding her from the horde.

"Hey! Back off! Hasn't she been through enough? Just leave her alone!" Oz said, moving back and forth to keep the pack of reporters at bay.

At that moment, Brian Farmer appeared, and smoothly moving to the reporters, started deflecting them.

"My client isn't answering questions right now, but I'll do my best to speak for her…"

"Mr. Farmer, over here. Do you believe your client got justice? After all, she was accused of murder…"

As her lawyer handles the mob, Joyce, Faith, Willow and Tara emerged from the courtroom into the maelstrom. Some of the pack attempt to get close to Faith and Joyce, but Willow and Tara ran interference. Joyce and Faith moved to Buffy, each flanking a side.

"God, I just wanted a little quiet," Buffy moaned, looking scared. "Why can't they leave us alone?"

"Let's just get out of here, honey," Joyce said. Looking at Faith, they turn and start away, leaving the pack behind.

Oz, Tara and Willow act as a shield to the three, and somehow, with Mr. Farmer's help, they managed to lose the crowd. Exiting through a side door, they find themselves in an alley next to the courthouse. Buffy leans against a wall, panting deeply.

"Are you ok, honey?" Joyce asked, seeing her complexion. She also saw the beads of sweat. "Are you in pain?"

"I don't feel very good," Buffy admitted, closing her eyes and trying to keep her balance. She felt sweaty, and dizzy, and she hurt all over. "Something's not right."

She suddenly let out a low moan, and slides down the wall. The ground below her becomes suddenly very wet.

"Oh my god," Joyce knew exactly what's going on, having been through it a couple of times. "Her water broke!"

Tara broke away from Willow, and went around to Buffy, kneeling beside her. She put her fingers to her pulse point.

"How far apart?"

"Huh?" Buffy looks at her, voice weak.

"The contractions. How far apart?"

"I dunno. I've been distracted. I … I guess about 10 minutes?"

"Buffy, why didn't you say anything?" Her mother asked, "How long have you been feeling this way?"

"All day… last night some… yesterday?" Buffy looked a little panicked.

"It's ok, Buffy," Tara assured her calmly. "It's normal. You were in pre labor… but things have begun in earnest now. We should get you to the hospital."

"But…It's too early. I'm only at 34 weeks. I'm early…"

"Babies are notorious for not watching the calendar, honey," Joyce smiled at her. "You were late, about 3 weeks late, while your sister couldn't wait to get out…"

"Oh, mom, gross!" Dawn said, from behind her.

"Better pay attention, honey. This could be you someday," Joyce said. "We've got to get to the hospital. But Buffy needs some things from home…"

"We only have the one car…" Buffy said, looking at her mom.

"I've got my van here," Oz said, quietly coming up around. "We can go in that, and someone can take Joyce's car and get Buffy's things."

"But, your band stuff…" Buffy protested.

"Is at home. I figured …" He shrugged, looking sheepish. " … something like this might happen…"

"Faith. Take my truck," Joyce took charge, digging in her purse for her keys. "Go get Buffy's stuff from home. Pack her a bag. Buffy and I will go with Oz…" She looked at Tara, who nodded. " Tara will go with us. Dawn, you and Xander and Willow go with Faith."

"Mom?" Buffy tried to stand up. "Can we go now?"

Joyce, along with Tara, helps her up. Oz goes to fetch his van, while the others follow Faith.

"It's going to be ok, isn't it mom?" Buffy leaned heavily on her as they walked down the alley towards the parking lot.

"It's going to be fine now, it's going to be fine."

8

"Ok, Buffy. Push. PUSH!" Tara exclaims, "It's close. I can see the baby's crown…"

"I'm pushing, god, I'm pushing!" Buffy moans, her face scrunched up. She makes another effort, grunting deeply from the effort. "God it HURTS!" She looks at her mom, her eyes unfocused. "It hurts sooo much!"

"It's ok baby," Joyce daubs her brow with a cloth. "It's almost done now. "

"I'm not ready, mom," Buffy groans, grunting as she feels her body pushing, "I'm really not ready to be a mom. " She grips Joyce's hand fiercely. "I can't do this, I really can't…" She starts to cry, from pain and fright. "I don't know what I'm doing here…" She lays back, her head turning on the pillow.

"Don't worry, honey. It'll come to you…" Joyce leans over, smoothing her brow. "There's no manual. You'll do fine…"

"We're almost there," Tara calls out encouragement. "One more push, Buffy."

"I can't… I can't…" Buffy pants, exhausted. "I don't have another in me…" She turns to Oz, who's standing by. "Can I have some ice chips, please?"

"Sure baby…" Oz leans in, pushing a spoon against her lips. Buffy opens her mouth, feeling the cooling ice against her tongue.

"I'm sorry," She mumbles, spilling some on her chest.

"It's ok, not a big…" Oz grabs at towel, dabbing at the ice on her chest.

"No, I mean… I'm such a … god, Oz, I never meant this to happen… I just… I don't know…"

"Hey, don't. It's all good, babe…"

"You should dump me," Buffy moans, another pain going through her. "You deserve better…"

"Don't be an idiot," Oz scolds her gently. "We talked all about this. I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you… oOOOOOOHHHHHH" Buffy sits up suddenly. Then she grunts, pushing hard.

"That's it!" Tara exclaims, standing up. In her arms is the baby. She gently massages the child, and the baby begins to cry lustily. "Well, she's got healthy lungs, I must say." Tara grins. She looks at Oz. "Do you want to cut the cord?"

Oz walks over, and taking the scalpel, he gently cuts through the umbilical cord. Tara smiles; tying it off, takes the baby over to clean her up.

"Is she ok?" Are the first words out of Buffy's mouth. "Is she healthy?" She looks at her mother. "I want to see my baby!"

"Patience, mom," Tara says, swaddling the newborn in a blanket. "Don't want her to get cold, do you? She's just been in a very warm place, and it's cold out here." She walks over, laying the baby in Buffy's arms.

Buffy looks down at her daughter's face, and it's love at first sight. She smiles dreamily, and looks up.

"She's so beautiful," Buffy says, almost in awe. "Look at her! Isn't she just the most beautiful baby ever?"

"Of course she is," Joyce smiles, knowing the feeling. She felt the same way with each of her daughters.

"I'm… I'm going to go tell the others…" Oz moves away, towards the door.

"Don't go…" Buffy reaches out to Oz. "Come over and say hi… please?"

"I'll tell the others," Joyce says. "You stay." She gently pushes Oz towards her daughter. She turns, and moves towards the door.

"You're coming back, right? I mean… you're not leaving, are you?" Buffy calls out.

"No, that's not going to happen. I've got a granddaughter to look out for now…" Joyce smiles.

She watches briefly as Buffy holds the baby up to Oz, and then slips quietly through the door.

"What time is it now?"

Willow looks at Xander, her face plainly worried.

"About five minutes since the last time you asked," Faith replies, pacing the waiting room.

"Uh, I didn't ask you," Willow says, a little irritated.

"Well, if you look, Xander is asleep."

It's true. Xander is sitting up, but his head is back, mouth open. And there's a tiny line of drool running down his chin.

Dawn for her part, is laying down on, head on Xander's lap. She's snoring quietly.

"God, look at them," Faith continues. She sits, then is back up, pacing again. "How can they even sleep."

"Not sleeping," Dawn raises her head a little, her eyes still glued shut. "Just resting my eyes."

"Well, it's been a long time." She looks at Faith. "What time is it now?"

Faith rolls her eyes. "God, how long is this going to take, anyway? I mean, what if something went wrong? I should be in there…" She sits briefly. But her legs taps, her nervous energy not letting her sit still.

"It's not like a cake, Faith. There's no 'set time' for childbirth…" Still, she seems worried herself. Now she's up, starting to pace. "I mean, they'd tell us if something was wrong, wouldn't they?"

Faith is about to answer when she sees Joyce walking down the hall. She's up, almost running over Willow to meet her.

"Is she ok? Is everything alright?" She grips Joyce by her arms, trying to read her face. "Is the baby ok?"

Oh yeah, she doesn't care, Joyce almost laughs to herself.

"She's fine. So's the baby. A fine, healthy little girl."

Willow is over, waking up the sleeping beauties.

"Xander, wake up."

"Just five more minutes, ok?" Xander mumbles, groggily. "What?"

"Is it over?" Dawn sits up, stretching. "Is Buffy ok?"

"Yes, it's over," Joyce has come over, "You're an auntie. And your niece? A real heartbreaker."

"Oh wow! Did you hear that?" She grabs Xander, giving him a big kiss on the lips. "I'm an aunt!"

Xander, surprised after the coolness in their relationship, raises his brow.

"You should become an auntie every day," He grins, obviously happy at the change of temperature.

"Can we see her now?" Dawn is up, leaving Xander behind. "I want to see my niece, now, ok?" She pours on the charm. "Please?"

"I don't know, Hon. I mean, Buffy's just been through a lot. Maybe we should let her rest now…"

"Actually," Tara comes up, behind Joyce. "She's asking for you. I guess she wants to show off her new little girl." She puts on a stern face. "But she is tired, and so is baby. So don't stay too long."

"I think maybe Xan and I will see wait," Willow says, noticing Xander's expression. "I mean, we don't want to wear her out. This should be family, anyway."

"You're family!" Dawn says, "I'm sure she'll want to see you…"

"No, it's ok, Dawnie," Willow smiles. "You guys go ahead."

"Are you sure?" Joyce asks, noticing Willow hesitation. "I know Buffy thinks of you like a sister, hon. You're really family…"

"Thanks, Joyce," Willow smiles. "We'll be here tomorrow, with bells on. Buffy's been through enough tonight."

"Ok…" Joyce knows something's wrong, and she doesn't want to push it. "We'll see you tomorrow then." She turns to Dawn. "Let's go see your sister, what do you say?"

"I say yeah," Dawn says, linking her arm through her moms. "So, is she pretty? Does she look like me?"

Faith chuckles as the three of them walk down the hall.

"Is everything ok, Will?" Tara asks, catching the tension.

"Yeah, it's fine, Tara. I just need to talk to Xander." She comes over, and plants a kiss on Tara's cheek. "See you later?"

"Sure, call me, ok?" Tara returns the kiss. She turns, and walks down the hall.

"Hey, you can go on… I'm ok," Xander says quietly, sitting down.

"Liar," Willow comes over, and sits next to him. "Oh, Xander." She pats his knee.

"You know what? I'd do anything for her. Anything she wanted…" He looks down the hall, unsmiling. "But I guess that just isn't enough." He shrugs, and stands up.

"Xander, she cares about you. It's just, right now, she's been under a lot of pressure. Things have been hinky. You've got to cut her some slack."

"I'm not going to dump her…" Xander looks offended. "I'd never do that. I'm just getting ready for being dumped."

"Xander, you don't know that's going to happen."

Xander looks at her sadly. "Look, Will, I know I act like a fool, but I'm really not, you know. Things haven't been right for awhile. And it's not just what's going on at home. She just…" He hangs his head, not wanting to vocalize what he feels. "I'm going home, Will. I'm bushed. Tell her…" He stops, and looks at her, almost desperate. "Tell her something. I don't know what. You're better at that stuff than me."

"I'll go with. I'm kind of wiped, too," Willow stands up, grabbing her purse.

"Don't you want to wait for…" He nods towards the room.

"Tara? No, I'll call her later. She knows that," Willow links her arm with his. "Right now, my best friend needs me."

"I thought Buffy and you were like this…" Xander holds up his crossed fingers.

"Well, we are. But you're my best boy friend, you know?"

He looks at her and smiles. "God, why couldn't you be straight?"

"Why couldn't you be a girl?" Willow shoots back.

"I dunno," Xander shrugs. "Curse of the Y?"

Willow chuckles, and they walk down the hall towards the exit.

9

Buffy lays back in bed, still feeling wiped out. And sore, so very sore. She moves around in her bed, hoping to get comfortable.

The morning sun has woken her, and at first she feels disoriented, not knowing exactly where she is, or why. Then the last 24 plus hours come back to her, and she lays there, feeling a little lost and helpless.

God, could things GET any crazier? We just get cleared on the charges about Dad, and then boom. I gotta have a baby. Someone up there really doesn't love me too much.

She sighs, settling back in her bed. Of course, can I really blame that on anyone but me? Yeah, I got absolved, at least legally. But really, aren't I to blame? At least partly to blame? I knew what I was doing wasn't right…

She closes her eyes, trying to squeeze back the tears that seem so ready to come.

Darn hormones. She grumbles to herself, trying to blame this on anything but grief. I loved him. I really loved him. I know it was wrong, but I thought… I thought if I… it would keep him around. Keep him in my life. Ha, that's good. In my life. And he's dead now… because of me…

She turns on her side, trying to block things out, and turns right back over again. Ok, think we'll not do that again, she winces, still feeling very beat up. This all is so unreal. God, I wish I could just hide away and not see anyone. I don't' wanna be here. I don't want to be a mom. I don't want any of this. God, I'm still a kid! I should be thinking about college and dates and boys. Not about formula and diapers and daycare…

She's just about to pull the covers over her head to hide when the door bursts open, and the largest stuffed bear she's ever seen walks into the room.

Ok, already feeling like Alice through the looking glass. Now I'm seeing living stuffed teddy bears. I'm losing it, folks!

"Hi," The bear says, in a rather feminine voice.

"Who… Cordelia?" Buffy sits up, recognizing the voice.

The bear drops down, and Cordelia's face appears over it's head. She smiles, a little ruefully.

"Hey, guess my disguise didn't work too well, did it?" She says, walking with the bear over to the bed. "I brought this for you. Well, actually, for your baby." She looks around. "Where is the little tyke?"

Tyke? Who the heck uses tyke?

"It's early yet. They haven't brought her in yet…" She looks at the bear, sitting on the bed. "Thanks for the bear."

"I think maybe I should put it over…" She looks around, and spots a chair. "There… in the chair I guess." She walks over, and unceremoniously plops the bear down. She turns back to the bed. "There. That's better."

"What're you doing here?" Buffy asks, very confused at seeing her here. Confused, and wary.

Cordelia stops, looking somewhat guilty. She stands at the end of the bed, seemingly nervous about drawing closer.

"Yeah, I kinda figured you might be asking that…" She says, looking for an opening, any opening. "I … uh… well, ok. I'm here because… I needed to bring this…" She points at the bear.

"You could've had it delivered," Buffy says, still wary, "Thank you by the way. But… I'm still clueless. Why the bear, and why are you here, anyway?"

"Yeah, we keep coming back to that, don't we?" Cordelia moves around the bed, now moving to the side. "I… ok, I admit, I've been working up my courage to come see you. I mean, I know we didn't part on the best of terms…"

"No, pretty much, you called me a skank just before you kicked me off the cheerleading squad. Oh, and you made my life at Sunnydale pretty much hell after that. Yeah, I guess those aren't the best of terms." Buffy stares at her, tight lipped.

"Yeah, I did that. Pretty…" She lets out a breath. "I'm really sorry about that."

"Uh-huh," Buffy's face reflects her disbelief. "You'll kind of excuse me if I don't buy into that. From what I know about you, you're not sorry about anything you do."

"I guess I deserve that. That's true, or used to be. But things have changed for me recently…"

"Oh yeah, I know. I was there when Willow put you in your place, finally."

"That isn't what I mean," Cordelia says, a slight edge to her voice. "Things have been kind of rough lately…"

"Oh, gee, what happened, Cor? Did daddy take away your credit cards? Gotta say, that's rough."

"Buffy, my father died."

Buffy feels as if she's been hit right between the eyes. She softens, a little.

"I'm sorry," Buffy says quietly. "I didn't know…"

"I understand, considering what's happened with your family…"

"What do you know about that?" Buffy sighs, shaking her head. "What am I saying? It's been in all the papers. Yeah, well… we got off… so I guess it worked out ok."

"I know … I was there in the courtroom when you were acquitted."

"You were?" Buffy is surprised. "I didn't see you." Her tone turns suspicious.

"Well, duh. I didn't want you to see me. I was in the back, and well… not dressed like you expect me to be dressed. As I said, I didn't want you to know I was there…" She rolls her eyes. "of course, I didn't realize that I was sitting in the regulars section. Quite a group of characters… something I'm not sure I want to repeat."

"Yeah, well… why?"

"Why?"

"Why were you there? What's the point?"

"I was interested in the outcome. I wanted to see if you… well, if Brian was doing a good job for you, and if we were going to have to mount an appeal. I can't believe they made a conspiracy charge out of that. It was clearly self defense…"

Buffy looks at her, amazed.

"Wait a minute. We mount an appeal? What's this 'we' stuff?"

"Brian? Brian Farmer. Your lawyer? Where did you think he came from? He's the best criminal lawyer in this part of the country. He works for a firm my daddy employs… well, employed…" She furrows her brows. "Still hard to think of him as gone. My father, I mean…"

"Hold on! What the heck are you saying? Are you saying you paid for Mr. Farmer?"

"Well, yeah…"

"Ok, I've had enough. I don't know what your game is, Cordelia, and frankly? I don't want to know!" Buffy glares at her. "Are you deaf? I asked you to leave!"

"Wait a minute! What the heck is wrong with you?" Cordelia bristles.

"What's wrong with me?" Buffy sits up, clearly agitated. "Hasn't my family had enough crap these past few months? Do I need you coming around smearing more crap? I happen to know my mom put up her gallery, and the house, for the legal stuff… she's going to be paying for it for years. Me too, matter of fact, cuz I'm not going to let her do it alone…"

Cordelia sighs, relieved.

"Hey, I think if you ask your mom, you'll find that an 'anonymous benefactor' put up the money for the legal defense. That, and also, for your medical bills."

"You'll excuse me if I don't believe you."

"You want proof? Ask your mom."

"Believe me, I will. But even so, why should I believe you did that? I mean, think about it, Cordelia. Considering our history, it's kind of beyond the fantastic."

"I know you don't believe it, Buffy, but it's true."

"Gee, why wouldn't I believe it?" Buffy says, her tone sarcastic. "Oh yeah, lets see. There's trying to get me raped at a college party, and then there's the whole cheerleading thing, and making me the outcast at school. You even spread rumors about me and Willow… and now you're telling me your really Santa Claus in Gucci…" She stops, and takes a good look at Cordelia. "… hey, what's with the… where's your usual clothing?" She looks carefully at Cordelia. "I mean, you wearing Levi's? and … that blouse looks like it came from K-Mart. What's the deal?"

"As I said, Buffy, things have changed… a lot."

"Oh? What happened? They cut off your trust fund or something?"

"No, Buffy. Not at all," Cordelia says, quietly. "It's just fashion, being the latest and greatest, and having the best of everything? Just doesn't seem so important anymore…"

"That's right. Your father died… I'm sorry, I forgot…" Buffy sighs. "but that still doesn't excuse what you're trying to pull here…"

"I'm not trying to pull anything, Buffy. Everything I've told you is the truth."

Buffy stares at her a moment.

"Ok, let's just pretend I believe you. I'm not saying I do, but let's pretend. Why, Cordelia? We're not friends. We've never been friends. Pretty much, that was by your choice. So, why are you doing this now?"

"You know, I've been thinking about that, trying to figure it out myself," Cordelia admits. "I guess it's because we have something in common…"

"Right. I'm secretly a wealthy heiress, and a total bitch," Buffy mocks her. Then she frowns. "Ok, maybe the last part is true, but really, Cordelia, what do we have in common?"

"Both our fathers' are dead."

"Yeah, well… that's true…" Buffy turns her face away. "Of course, you didn't kill your father…" She trails off, a surge of guilt going through her.

"Well, you didn't either, Buffy. He killed himself… he just used you to do it."

"Look, Cor. I appreciate the stroke, I do, but frankly, what do you know about it?"

Cordelia's lips tighten.

"Oh, so you didn't sleep with your father too?" She drops the bomb.

Buffy stares at her, mouth open.

"Cordelia, that's not funny…"

"It wasn't meant to be, Buffy. I've been… well, I was … sleeping with my father. Ever since I was thirteen…"

Buffy can't speak. The feeling she's had the last couple of weeks, that her world resembled a Kafka novel, just grew exponentially. She continues to stare, open mouthed.

"Buffy, you might want to close that…" Cordelia points at her mouth.

Buffy slams her mouth closed. Still, she stares at her.

"You feel this is all your fault, don't you? That somehow, it's your fault that your dad's dead…"

"Not somehow, Cordelia. I swung the bat that killed my father…"

"But you weren't meaning to kill him, Buffy. Were you? I mean, you hit him because you were trying to save your friend. What's her name … the annoying brunette girl."

"Faith."

"Yeah, her. But it was an accident, Buffy. You weren't trying to kill him. Only hurt him, make him go away, right?"

Buffy nods, somewhat amazed. "You get it?"

"Oh yeah, I get it, big time. I know there were lots of times, if I had a bat, I would've used it on my father…" She hangs her head, somewhat ashamed of feeling that. "I guess it wasn't necessary, in the end…" Her voice and face hardens. "But there were times I wish I had used a bat on him…"

"Cordelia!"

"No, Buffy. I'm sorry. I tried to mourn for him. I really did. But I can't. I'm glad he's dead. I'm glad he died…" She leans on the railing on Buffy's bed. "I guess that just makes me a monster, doesn't it?"

"Cordelia… I just … I don't know what to say…" Buffy is flabbergasted. This whole experience is starting to feel like a Dali painting.

"I'm not looking for sympathy, Buffy. I've got my own demons, and I've got to deal with them. But I just wanted you to know I know what you're going through."

"Frankly, Cordelia… you really don't…"

"So, again… this baby? It's not your fathers?"

Buffy covers her face with her hands. She doesn't want to look at Cordelia anymore.

"What are you? A witch? How did you…?"

"Buffy, I was pregnant by my father, too. When I was 14… I got pregnant… but he didn't … he made me abort it… then he had my tubes tied, so I could never have children again…" Cordelia's mouth twitches, "I guess dear old dad didn't want to take any more chances on another bastard baking in the oven…" She looks at Buffy with overly bright eyes. "I can never have children now…"

Buffy, despite herself, can't help feeling for the girl. She reaches out, putting her hand over Cordelia's.

"That's… awful, Cordelia," Buffy feel a hitch in her throat. "How could he… why would he…?"

"He was an incredibly cruel man, Buffy. That's why… I don't feel sorry he's gone. Though sometimes, I can't help it. I miss him. I mean, he taught me things, too. How to be tough. How to …" She leans heavily against the bed, and for a moment, Buffy is afraid she's going to pass out. Then she shakes it off. "Sorry… It just overwhelms me at times…"

"My father never did that to me…" Buffy says, somehow suddenly wanting to… no, needing to talk to her. "I mean, he always treated me like… well, a lover. Like someone he was in love with. I was in love with him. Oh god, I can't believe I just said that… but it's true. I loved him. But that last night, he was… he went… crazy. He started beating me and chasing me… and then he forced himself on me… but … "

"You still love him?"

"I don't… I don't know… I know I feel guilty because I killed him… because it was all my fault!"

"No, Buffy, it wasn't. It was his fault, Buffy. Believe me, I know. I've had lots of time to think about this…" She gets down, squatting by the bed so she's more level with Buffy. "He used you, same as my father used me. He manipulated you, played on your feelings. But he didn't love you, Buffy. Not like you wanted him to love you."

"You don't know that!" Buffy gets suddenly angry. "He might have! He DID. He did love me! I know it… I know it…"

Buffy suddenly is so sure. Somehow, something in the back of her mind tells her that all he did, the running around, cheating on mom, tells her he never really loved her. Like Cordelia said, not like she wanted him to.

And suddenly, the rest comes. The anger, the pain, and the guilt she's been storing so deeply, so tightly comes bubbling to the surface. The feeling of being betrayed, the feeling of being used, the anger she feels because no one helped her, or even really noticed… overwhelms her. She starts to shake, and then she starts to sob.

Cordelia knows she's hit a nerve, and she moves in, putting her arms around Buffy.

Buffy clings to her, confused, angry, but needing to be held. And Cordelia holds her tightly.

"It's ok, Buffy. It's ok to cry. You gotta, if you're going to make it to the other side. Go ahead, let it out, let it all out."

Cordelia holds her, caressing her back, as Buffy lets out years of pain. Her own face becomes wet with tears. The very tears she hasn't been able to shed before.

The thing is? She needs someone who understands, who has lived it, just like she has. She needs Buffy, as much as Buffy needs her.

"It's going to be ok now, Buffy," Cordelia holds her, her own voice full of emotion. "We'll get through this, you and me. We'll do this, because we're tough. We're survivors…"

And somehow, whatever it takes, Cordelia intends to make that happen.

She has to. Her own life and sanity depend on it.

10

A little later that morning, Buffy is still laying in bed, recovering from emotional hangover.

Who would've thought me and Cordelia had so damned much in common, anyway? God, she just reached in and pretty much wrenched my heart. Damn her, she has no right to make me face reality like that! She still knows exactly which buttons to push. When I'm feeling better, I'm going over there and kick her sorry ass.

Then thank her, cuz she's right. We'll get through this somehow, and it is good to talk… ok, weep my eyes out like a baby… with someone who really knows what it's like.

But I gotta wonder if we'll really make it? I just don't know…

At that moment, a nurse's aid walks in, carrying her child. Buffy looks up, and suddenly forgets about herself, and focuses on her child.

She comes by that honestly, considering.

"Hi, Mrs. Summers…"

"That's Ms. Summers. I'm not married."

"Oh," Sara Patterson, the nurse's aid blushes. Nice going Sara! "Sorry. I brought your daughter… she was feeling a little hungry, and I think she needs her mommy now…"

Buffy lies there, still not quite used to that. Mommy. God, I'm a mommy. Man, I'm so gonna mess this up… I'm just a kid myself. How the heck am I supposed to raise a kid? And not make a total mess of it? God, how can you do this to me? How can you do this to her??

Buffy takes her baby into her arms, and looks at her face. All her doubts seem stupid all of a sudden, when she looks at her little baby girl.

"So, what's her name?" Sara asks.

"Oh, sorry," Buffy looks up and Smiles. "She's Emma Danielle Summers. What do you think?"

"That's pretty…"

"Emma is my mom's mom name, and Danielle… well, I have a really good friend that's helped me a lot lately. I think she should have some recognition here… don't you think so, Em?" She coos at her baby.

"Well, if you need anything, just ring. I'll be back in a little while to take her, after she's had her breakfast."

Sara smiles, and waves, and walks out, leaving Buffy alone with her daughter.

Hmmm… wonder if she'd leave me alone with you if she had a clue that I don't have a clue here?

Buffy adjusts her hospital gown, revealing her breast. She places Emma's face next to it, and smiles when she goes for the gold.

Well, no one had to tell you where the feeding station was. Thank goodness for that.

Buffy settles back, letting Emma do her thing while she stares off into space, thinking about things.

"Hey, you, guess I better warn you. You pretty much pushed your way into one crazy family. I better clue you in before they get here, just so you got the straight stuff…" Buffy chuckles to herself. "Right, like I got a clue? Ok, well, I guess you better know me first. But we've been talking for so long now, I feel like we know each other. I'm Buffy, but you can call me mom, ok? I'm probably the squirreliest of the bunch, just ask anyone… but honey, I'm really, really gonna try to be a good mom. I promise. I really want to be a good mom. And I got help…"

"There's mom, that's grandma to you… oh god, mom's gonna have a Guernsey when people start calling her that. Especially Faith. Now, she's a character. She acts all tough, and well, she is tough, but she's got this big old heart, and she really listens… you'll like her… but no riding on her motorcycle until you're at least 16, got it? Anyway, we were talking about mom, right? Well, she's smart, and she's got this mom stuff down cold. And I'm sooo gonna need her help with you. And … and if you tell her I said this, I'll say you're lying… but she's like the best mom, ever. But you didn't hear that from me, got it? We'll blame Dawn…"

"Oh boy, you're Aunt Dawn? She's gotta couple of screws loose. And she's a total brat. Trust me, I'm not lying here. Well, ok, I'm a total brat too. But she's a bigger brat. And annoying… look, remind me in a couple of years, and I'll tell you something about her…" Buffy grins, a little evilly, " … why I gave her the nickname Squirt… heh…" Buffy's face softens. "Thing is, despite that? I love her. And she's a good sister, even if she bugs me to no end. And I know she loves you. She was all "Oooo" and "Aaah" over you last night. And I don't know how it happened, but you got her eyes… just like I wanted. She's got such pretty eyes… I'm so jealous!"

"Scared yet? No?… Oh, you're done… ok…" Buffy lifts Emma away from her breast, and cradling her bottom, holds her over her shoulder, rubbing her back. "So, where was I? Oh yeah… well, I guess you should know about your Auntie Will and Uncle Xander. Now… Will, she's like gay. I know that doesn't mean squat to you, but trust me, you don't want to make fun of her. I mean, the girl gets Zero in the humor department, you know? But she's smart, wicked smart. Kinda like your Auntie Dawn. Both are pretty smart… but again, I'm not admitting it if you tell them. Anyway, she's too serious. I'm hoping you'll help me get her to lighten up, just a little… of course, her new girlfriend, Tara? She's sweet, and she's good for her… and maybe she can get Will to laugh a little more. God, she needs something to make her laugh, you know?"

"So, let's talk about your Uncle Xander…"

At that moment, the baby burps. Buffy laughs, and cradles Emma under her arm.

"Oh yeah, you pegged it," Buffy giggles. "He's a little bit of a doofus. And the guy's got no taste at all… he's dating Dawn, for goodness sake…" She holds the baby up, cradled in her arm, her hand supporting her head. "Yeah, that's right. Dating Dawn. Can you believe it? Someone's that crazy? He's crazy, uh huh he is baby…yes he is… big old crazy doofus… uh huh…" She brings Emma down, and settles her in the crook of her arm. "Comfy there? Good… Oh yeah, Xander. Ok, he's a little crazy… but he's really a good guy… and I know he's just gonna be like your big protector…" Buffy sighs, feeling a little tired. "Oh, and your other protector? Oz… you gotta love Oz…" A big, slightly goofy smile comes on her face. "He's a little funny looking, you know? So not my usual stud muffin type. And talking to him is an art all by itself… but he's just sooo… I dunno, he's so… I dunno, but I love him. Yeah, mom's hopeless. But I think I picked good this time… and I hope he feels the same. Again, he's not big on expressing the emotions…"

Buffy yawns.

"God, I'm bushed. Go figure. Been lying on my ass all night, and I'm still drained. Oh well, you're a pretty tough kid. I still feel like I've been like 40 rounds with Mike Tyson…" She yawns again. "Sleepy… did I forget anybody?…" She looks over at Emma, and smiles. "You're just too beautiful, you know? Not fair…" She lays back, holding Emma carefully. "Ok, let's see… Oh yeah… Cordelia. Cordelia Chase… I dunno… jury's still out on her. I mean…I wanna trust her, but I think we got some work to do there… but she seems to want to help you… and hey, she's like loaded… still… well, the thing is… we got a lot in common… but we'll talk about that later, ok? Mom's tired…"

She lets out another sigh, and her eyelids droop a little. "Just gonna shut my eyes for a second, ok?…"

Tara Maclay opens the door to Buffy's room, and stops, catching the scene.

Buffy and her new baby, Emma, are fast asleep. Buffy is cradling the newborn in her arm, and is snoring quietly.

She smiles, and walks over, gently taking Emma from her.

She's come in early to see Buffy. After the delivery, Buffy had panicked. Started talking about how she was too young for a baby, how she couldn't take care of a baby. Tara had stayed with her awhile until she got her calmed down. Still, she'd been worried about her. A lot of young new mom's have severe depression after birth, and she wanted to be sure that Buffy was going to be ok. Find help for her if needed, and counseling.

Holding Emma in her arms, and looking down at Buffy, she feels a lot better. Buffy is sleeping peacefully, a small smile on her lips.

"I think she's gonna be ok now…"

Quietly, she takes Emma out of the room.

Fin.


End file.
